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waynefamilybbq · 2 years

Conversation

Alfred: Are you alright Master Timothy? I don’t think you slept at all last night or the night before for that matter.

Tim: I got a solid eight minutes.

Alfred: …

Tim: well, not consecutively but still, I’m fine

Tim: you’re not even that blurry right now

#incorrect bat fam #tim drake #tim #alfred pennyworth #alfred #timbit #dc #batfam

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nightwolf14292 · 12 days

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I like to imagine that if any of the Bat-Kids are out in public, whether they be getting food, shopping, patrolling, just walkin' around, whatever, that if they see the Bat-Signal pop on it's an unspoken rule between the siblings that they have to throw on their costume and try and find/deal with the trouble before Bruce gets there. Just to annoy him.

Batman: "Commissioner Gordon! I got here as fast as I could.. What's the situation?"

Commissioner Gordon: "Oh, Batman, thank you for coming.. It's alright, though, it's already been taken care of by these fellows."

*Gestures to the side where there's a couple of muggers sitting tied up next to Nightwing(He has pink, glittery shopping bags hanging all over his arms), Red Hood(He's rummaging through the bags Nightwing is holding, trying to find the black nail polish he just bought to touch up his nails after the fight), Red Robin(He's sipping a cup of coffee that he accidentally stole because he ran out of the cafe so quickly that he forgot to pay), and Robin(He's chowing down on a kids' meal from Bat-Burger)*

Batman: ...

Batman: *Subtle annoyed glare*

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fleur-dans-la-nuit · 2 months

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Jason, to Bruce: Oh just so you know, it's very muggy outside

Dick, smirking: Yeah, now that you mentioned it, I noticed that too

Bruce: …

Bruce: I swear, if I step outside and all of our mugs are on the front lawn...

Tim: *Loudly sips tea from a bowl*

#incorrect quotes #dc incorrect quotes #dc universe #dc robin #jason todd #dick grayson #bruce wayne #batman #tim drake #bat brothers #bat boys #batfam #bat family #bat fam #dcu

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jupiterfallz · 6 months

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Batsibling shenanigans 173

no one:

Duke, staring at jason: ..Dude are you okay-

jason: I can hear the seasonal depression starting to ring like mariah carrey’s whistle tones, help-

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coloredsnowo · 2 years

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9 yr old Dick (to bruce): uppy uppy

Bruce:

Dick: uppy uppy uppy

Bruce:

Dick: uppy :(

Bruce: *lifts him an inch above the ground*

Dick: :D

—

14 yr old Dick (to superman): upp-

Superman: *takes him and instantly flies into the stratosphere*

Bruce:

#i hope u guys like this one #bat family #robin #batman #dick grayson #bat fam #bruce wayne #batkids #dc #gotham #superman #superbat #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect batfam #incorrect dc #clark kent

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brokenstar28 · 7 months

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Palindrome

Tim: "Go hang a salami" backward is "I'm a lasagna hog" and that pleases me.

Damian: how did either of those sentences occur naturally for you to realize this?

Tim: Any time you're awake after 3am you fall into another dimension where the gods who never existed bestow upon you forbidden knowledge.

Damian: The only thing that concerns me more than your first statement is that answer.

#tim drake #damian wayne #tim go to sleep #batfam shenanigans #incorrect bat fam quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #palindrome #sleep deprived tim drike #damian has the sacred braincell #robin #red robin

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quotidian-oblivion · 6 months

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Dick: Hey Jason, so I just dropped my cereal down the elevator shaft. Jason: L Dick: *with his kicked puppy pout* You think I'm a loser? Jason: No, I think you're a lunatic Dick: *immediately beams*

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multifan113 · 7 months

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Batman Incorrect Quotes 2

Dick: Did you shoot that guy?

Jason: No. Should I? I can go back

#incorrect quotes #batman #dcu #dc comics #dc universe #batman incorrect quotes #jason todd #jason todd incorrect quotes #batfam #bat family #bat fam #red hood #dick grayson #nightwing #richard grayson

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cardinalcheerio · 6 months

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The Bats and what type of cracker(brands) they are:

Dick: Zoo animal crackers with all the frosting and sprinkles on them.

Jason: Saltines (obsessively. Like only eats those. Like me)

Tim: Biscoffs dipped in coffee (airplane cookie cracker things. They count cause I say they do)

Steph: Ritz with the spray can cheese on the top.

Cass: Rainbow Goldfish.

Duke: Cheeze-Itz

Damian: Animal Crackers

Bruce: Triscut. No explanation.

Alfred: Club Crackers (fancy lookin ones)

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insomnia-draws · 6 days

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I have some other Jason in wonder woman merch drawings planned but decided to share this little sketchy sketch of a young baby Jason todd that has fallen asleep on his wonder woman body pillow in a wonder woman onesie also I'm just gonna pretend it was dick that bought the onesie, body pillow, and throw pillows for him yes I know the premise is Bruce but I cannot stand Bruce as a character in canon hes a horrible father so ... Pretending it was dick..

And not just cause I have experience with having an abusive family and yes I know I forgot to add the star to wonder woman's crown I'll add it in I promise lol

Got the idea for this from: @wondersinwaynemanor

Tags: @captain-daryn

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house-of-slayterr · 2 years

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BatFam Incorrect Quotes!

Y/N : *talking about Jason ’s funeral* You do know we’re burying a great person today!

Dick , shocked: Did someone else die?

Jason : We need to distract these guys.

Damian : Leave it to me.

Damian : Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.

Y/N & Tim: *immediately begin arguing*

Jason : Which way did Bruce go?

Y/N : Well, based on the direction of the wind, the broken sticks in the corner, and the slight disturbance in the dirt, I'd guess they went left.

Jason : You could really figure it out from that?

Y/N : No, you idiot, Bruce sent me a text. See?

*young y/n and young Bruce at the manor*

Bruce : Can we go out to get icecream?

Y/N : Did you ask Alfred?

Bruce : They said no.

Y/N : Then why did you ask me?

Bruce : They're not the boss of you.

Y/N , internally: It's a trap, it's a trap, it's a trap.

Y/N : Well, has Bruce been wrong before?

Alfred: How wide are we willing to open this up?

An: I swear I didn’t manipulate this one at all 😂

Y/N : What is everyone for Halloween?

Jon : I’m superman.

Damian: A clown.

Y/N : So I’m guessing we don’t need to get you a costume then?

Damian to Jon : Me? I'm the bee knees, but, you? You're just...

Y/N : Cockroach ankles!

Damian: Ye- uh, what?

Roy : Jason-

Jason: *sighs* Y/N used to call me Jason...

Roy : ...Because it's your fucking name.

Roy : *cooking*

Jason: *kicks down door*

Jason: *grabs knife from Roy 's hand*

Jason: WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR?

Roy :

Roy : What.

Y/N : They're trying to tell you they want to cook.

An: I actually did this lol and won that trope iPads

Dick : Y/N likes to win. When they were 8, a little Club Scout friend of theirs bragged they could sell the most cookies.

Dick : Damned if Y/N didn't walk the neighborhood till they got blisters on their feet, and won by 10 boxes.

Dick : Best part is, Y/N wasn't even a Club Scout.

Damian: We should normalize not loving family members.

Y/N: You can just say: “I hate my dumb fuck father” or whatever. Talk like a normal person!

Y/N: Ah shit, I forgot.

Alfred : Forgot what?

Y/N: How do you expect me to answer that?

Selena : We’ve been conducting an ongoing study to see what Y/N will and will not eat.

Bruce : Grass? Yes!

Selena : Moss? Yes!!

Bruce : Leaves? Ohh, yes!

Selena : Shoelaces? Strange but true!

Bruce : Worms? Sometimes!

Selena : Rocks? Usually nah.

Bruce : Twigs? Usually!

Selena : Alfred 's cooking? Inconclusive!

Harley: How did you… test this?

Selena : You just hand them stuff and say ‘eat this’ and if they eat it, they eat it.

Harley: ... I don’t know how to feel about this.

Alfred : IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?

*The gang's thoughts on stabbing*

Y/N: Would never stab anyone.

Selena : Would stab someone in retaliation.

Alfred : Yells "I won't hesitate, bitch!" first.

Harley: Would stab without warning.

Bruce : Would stab as a warning.

Y/N: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses.

Jason: This knife is actually a magic wand.

Damian : Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot for a wizard duel.

Dick: *cocks gun* Magic missile.

Tim: What the fuck is wrong with you people.

Dick: You know what I learned from my friendship with Jason?

Tim: There’s no such thing as too mean?

Y/N: Never let your friends know for sure if you like them?

Damian : Always hold a grudge?

Y/N: Seriously, Jason, how many people would you have killed if we’d asked you to?

Jason: That’s not important

Y/N: I DISAGREE.

Tim: Don’t you have any dignity, Y/N?

Y/N: Uh, no.

Dick: Don't break someone's heart, they only have one.

Y/N: Break one of their bones instead, they have 206 of them.

Harley: Y/N, you do remember when we agreed we were better off as friends, right?

Y/N, naked in Harley's bed: No, I absolutely do not.

Harley, already taking off their clothes: Fuck... Me neither.

Selena : *in a jail cell* What about my Miranda rights!? You’re supposed to say I have ‘the right to remain silent’”! NOBODY SAID I HAD THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT!

Y/N: *in the cell next to them* You have the right to remain silent, what you lack is the capacity.

#bat fam #bat family #Bruce Wayne #Damian Wayne #Jason Todd #Tim drake #dick grayson #y/n #batman #nightwing #robin #Red hood #red robin #bat family x reader #incorrect quotes #alfred pennyworth #jon kent #Clark Kent #roy harper

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greeeengoblin · 26 days

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Ah! I definitely want to take myself and add music to my Spotify playlist like I'm part of the BatFamily. I AM NOT A MEMBER OF BATFAMILY, BATFAMİLY İS NOT REAL I AM A REAL PERSON—

I am not a member of batfam I am Batman.

I AM NOT A REAL PERSON BATFAMILY IS REAL!!

Please.leave.me.

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nightwolf14292 · 25 days

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*Damian shows up at the Manor for the first time*

Alfred: "Master Bruce u already have too many kids, u can't have another, get rid of that orphan"

Bruce: "This one's not an orphan his mom is alive and I can't get rid of him bcuz he's my actual biological kid"

Alfred: "Goddammit Master Bruce" *Flips table*

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fleur-dans-la-nuit · 2 months

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Damian: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.

Dick: Damian, no.

Jason: Mistlefoe.

Dick: Please stop encouraging him.

#incorrect quotes #dc incorrect quotes #dc universe #dc robin #dcu #damian al ghul #damian wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #bat brothers #bat boys #batfam #bat family #bat fam

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jupiterfallz · 7 months

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Batfam shenanigans ft Bruce Wayne aka Batdad

Bruce: Sorry Jason, it’s a two person activity.

Damian: Maybe there’s something for lonely children that you can do.

Jason, who was just trying to do something nice for once: A lonely child is what you’re going to be after I sell you back to your grandfather.

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jasonsthunderthighs · 2 years

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Duke: What useless fact would you like to share?

Tim: The colour ‘orange’ was named after the fruit, not the other way around.

Duke: But did the chicken or egg come first?

Tim: The word ‘egg’ is dated to the 16th century. ‘Chiken’ (without a ‘c’) is from middle English. So, it's a tossup dependin on when the ‘c’ was added to ‘chiken’.

Jason: Due to the shape of the North American Elk’s esophagus, even if it could speak, it could not pronounce the word ‘lasagna’.

Stephanie: Yep, that's a winner.

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