incorrectbatfam · 23 hours
Damian: I have the next five years planned out.
Duke: Five years. Cool.
Duke: I’ve got the next two and a half hours planned. And then there’s darkness. Possibly some dragons.
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Tim: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life Steph: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind? Jason: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die. Tim: edible
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pinkypastal · 12 days
Jason todd,age 15 after being betrayed by his mom,beat up with a crowbar,blown up,waking up in his grave and having to dig his way out only to get hit by a car almost immediately. then finding out that his murderers still alive and his family replaced him.... and now his only source of comfort is his dad's murderous ex
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arguablysomaya · 5 months
Jon: We had a party for Valentine's day at my school.
Damian: Valentine's Day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and-
Jon: They told us to make cards for the people we cared about, so I made one for you.
Jon: *hands him a card covered with glitter*
Damian: tt- thank you.
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its-minart · 1 year
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Batkids bullying (or vibing with) Gotham villains (or antiheroes)
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blackfoxsposts · 23 days
Dp x dc prompt: after a long late night patrol, a sleep deprived Red Robin ushers a red head in to the batmobile and has her drive them back to the bat cave. Bat members start filing into the cave. They give the red head lounging on a computer chair no more regard than a "Hi, Babs."
It isn't till Duke, bright eyed and bushy-tail for his day patrol, enters the batcave that someone realized that that's not Barbara sitting near the Batcomputer.
Jazz on the other hand is just vibing and mentally cataloging the different dynamics of the batfam as they try and figure out how she got into the batcave. She's already called Danny. He's on standby incase she needs a quick get away and also invisibly fanboying over the bat equipment
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sunsetsintandem · 7 months
Dick, disappointed, in full uniform, coming across Jason vandalizing his police car: Jay.
Jason, 6'something, a big shit: What are you gonna do? Arrest me?
*5 hours later, after Tim bailed Jason out*
Jason: Friendship with Dick ended. New friendship with Pretender unlocked.
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jennguyen-draws · 1 month
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Bedtime for Cassandra and Zitka ft. Bruce and Alfie
[ID: A small Cassandra Cain wearing black/yellow pjs with the Black Bat symbol. One hand is tucked under her cheek and the other is holding onto Zitka the elephant plush. Bruce [off screen except for his hands] is seen tucking an orange blanket over Cassandra. A ray of light falls over Cassandra's face from the opened door. (Whisper) Text bubbles: Alfred: Master Bruce, what are you still doing in here? Bruce: Zitka wanted us to finish the book... Alfred: It is well past midnight. Bruce: What did you expect me to do, Alfred? Say "No"? End ID]
Yeah, Bruce - "I can't say no to my kids if they ask" - Wayne. You could have said "no. Alfred shakes his head but when he walks away there is a fond smile on his face.
Dick and Zitka, Jason and Zitka for Halloween, Damian with Zitka II, Tim and Coffee, Duke with Zitka II ft all bat siblings, Stephanie’s tea party ft Zitka and Bruce, They wanted hot chocolate
I'm having so much fun drawing these things. Thanks for all the support <3
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geekotakunerd · 7 months
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Tim is a living disaster.
I love him.
The reference is perfect, it's from the Red Robin run where Miss Martian took Tim's place during a shooting to fake his injury.
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flowingzahra · 3 months
DC Headcanon: دَيميَن الوِطواط
Seeing non-Arab writers trying to write Damian has been cringeworthy, hurtful, and hilarious for me as a Lebanese Arab woman. Just the other day, I was thinking about this. There are many examples, but one among them is the fact that Damian has actually unironically been dubbed إبن الخفاش (Ibn El Khufāsh) which is the most edgelord teen fanfic thing. Yes, it means "Son Of The Bat." No, no one talks like that. We're Arabs, not Altmer. Jesus. Anyways, I was thinking about this and I was thinking about how we don't even use the word خفاش / khufāsh to refer to bats. We use the word وطواط (pronounced "wit-watt.") But witwaat is not formal language, it's dialect. While you would hear the word khufāsh on the news, you would never use it in day-to-day speech. Similarly, you would never hear witwaat used on the news. The word witwaat is onomatopoeia, a word that is what it sounds like. (English examples include swish, rustle, crash, and whisper.) Witwaat is the sound of a bat flapping its wings. Honestly, for me, the imagery is adorable. So, I have a headcanon that in the League, the ninjas referred to Baby Damian as El-Witwaat. Jason started it. "Ibn El Khufāsh," what the hell? This kid was his baby brother. Soon, all the ninjas were referring to Damian as El-Witwaat. Eventually, someone slipped and accidentally called him that in front of Raging-Pregnant-Hormones Talia. The whole room was still, everyone sucking in their breath, waiting for the shoe to drop, and... she loved it! She thought it was sooo CUTE! And thus, it caught on and became his affectionate childhood nickname from when he was in the League. The only one who doesn't call him Witwaat was his self-important tightass gRaAndfAtHEr. Honestly, it kind of slaps as a gangster name, too. I mean, El Chapo means "shorty." Witwaat has the right amount of casual cuteness to be intimidating. Of course, Damian, himself, doesn't see this, and in his attempts to be taken Seriously goes from loving it when he was little to hating it and refusing to respond to it. Except that Jason upon his return to Gotham had reintroduced the nickname and the Batfam loves it! And Bruce, too, eventually calls Damian that every once in a while. Hey, that's his boy. And he couldn't be more proud. And you know what? Maybe Damian doesn't think it's so bad after all. ("It's tolerable.")
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gotham-exclusive · 8 months
Dick: When I was your age—
Jason, mocking him: When I was your height—
Dick: Listen here, you little shit-
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incorrectbatfam · 2 days
Dick: You know that voice in your head that tells you that you're doing something wrong?
Bruce: You mean the one that sounds like Alfred?
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notpikaman · 17 hours
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Batfam Incorrect Quotes
Jason, walking into his apartment: Hello, people who do not live here. Duke: Hey. Tim: Hi. Damian: Hello. Steph: Hii! Jason: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only! Dick: Alfred's out of town and were hungry
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redrosebug · 4 months
No, but like Family Feud between the Kents (Clark, Lois, Kara, Conner, Jon) and the Waynes (Bruce, Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian).
I just like to imagine Bruce being progressively more competitive as the show goes on to the point where his kids have to remind him that he's guest-starring as Brucie Wayne.
Meanwhile, someone sneaks a behind-the-scenes photo of Tim and Kon laughing together which starts an argument about Tim fraternizing with the enemy. The moment Damian opens his mouth, tho, Tim whips a picture of his little brother and Jon having ice cream together, which causes Dick and Jason to round up on the both of them.
Bruce refusing to speak to Clark because he can't believe Kent guessed something he couldn't, and Lois trying not to laugh about Clark's confused expression the entire time they are on air. Kara, on the other hand, having no such reservations and doing her best to crush the opposing family.
Kon, being secretly a competitive asshole as well but having to decide whether he'll rather lose or deal with a pouty Tim if the Waynes lose. Jon just really having the time of his life. An absolute blast, 10/10 would do again.
(Bonus: Cass, Steph and Barbara watching the entire thing on the Manor's living room with Alfred looking more and more disappointed whenever the family doesn't get the right answers).
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bats-and-brats · 11 months
More batsiblings being siblings??? Uhm fuck yes
- Jason picking the pickles off Tim’s burger
- “is that my shirt?” “Uhm no” “BRUUUCE” (Dick and Jason 100%)
- Cass and Duke driving thru Starbucks talking SHIT about Tim after he drank the last of the coffee and didnt buy more
- Steph and Babs going nuts with Bruce’s credit card and making Dick carry things. He’s just happy to be included but he’s not allowed to talk
- Damian going though all of Tim’s stuff when he’s not home
Tim: I’m going to Walgreen what do you want
Damian after being grounded: a new fucking family
Tim: I’ve got $12
Damian: gummy worms
- the tattling in that household would be absolutely insane
- “Bruce Jason lost my AirPods!!” “No I fucking didn’t!”
- Jason and Tim have screaming matches then go out for milkshakes
- Steph painting Dukes nails while watching Naruto
- Jason hitting Tim lightly and Tim falling to the ground hollering getting Jason in trouble
- Damian chasing Jason around with a butter knife (if you didn’t do with w ur sibling then I feel bad for you)
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raphael-angele · 6 months
Batkids' Reaction If They Were Left on a Stop on a Road Trip
Dick: Did those...Did those ass clowns leave? They forgot about me. Even Bruce?!
Jason: They really left me outside...alone...in THIS economy. Those motherFUCKERS!
Tim: I'm about to go all white mom on them. At least we didn't lose a spleen this time, just a member, just me, no fucking biggie
Duke: *remembers that time when Dick said he's what keeps the family together* Well that was a fucking lie.
Damian: What do I do now? How do poor people get around? Should I call a Ruber?
Steph: *calls Tim* Ah, it's ringing. Pick up you assclown, pick up. *Tim: Hello?* AY, TIM, WHAT THE FUCK?!
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