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incorrectbatfam · 2 days

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Jason: We do this the old-fashioned way

Jason: *pulls out a Molotov cocktail*

Dick: How did you make that so fast?!

#source: the good place #jason todd #red hood #dick grayson #nightwing #batman #batfamily #batfam #batboys #batkids #batbros #batsiblings #batman family #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #dc comics

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batfamgalore · 1 day

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*Batbros on a road trip and halfway through they open the trunk to get a bag and find a random man in there*

Tim: Oh my god.

Jason: Whoah.

Dick: Did you not put him in there, Damian?

Damian: No, I did not.

#batman #dc #robin #batfamily #batfam #dick grayson #incorrect dc quotes #nightwing #incorrect batfamily quotes #jason todd #red hood #tim drake #damian wayne #red robin #source: derry girls

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batfambrainrotbeloved · 18 hours

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Batfam quotes as quotes from my dnd group (part 5)(but my homeland security class once more, we had a guest speaker- it was a vibe)

Dick:“I'm sorry I keep swearing- i'm from Gotham it's how we say hello” Steph:“He impaled a bunch of people IRL” Duke:“The Vampire”?? Damian:“If someone says nothing ever came from waterboarding I would say thats incorrect” Jason:“The first time is just a new experience, but the 73rd time? it hits different"

Jason:“The amount of drugs in that shit could have killed the entire fucking country- if you kill everyone who the fuck are you going to sell to”?

Duke:“This doesn't look right for Gotham New Jersey, means you had to be doing some stupid shit to be suspicious in GOTHAM”

Tim:“Are criminals stupid? Thank god sometimes they are”

Duke:“..How did you burn it”? Cass:“With Gasoline.”

Daimian:“She's a white woman” Dick:“Of course” Steph:“Yeah frikin white women”

Jason:“I'm missing a trigger finger- they went how are you gonna fire, I can do it like this” *flips them off* Steph:“This old guy went fuck it, give me the drill, and he just drilled” Tim:“I have never respected the elderly more”

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nicomoon69 · 3 days

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Steph: I love lesbian jesus

Cass: Barbara??

Steph: what- no- I meant- wait…

#she was talking abt hayley kiyoko #but barbara works too #happy lesbian visibility week #can y’all tell I’m sleep deprived #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #barbara gordon #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #dc #dcu #dc comics #batgirl #batgirls #batfam #my brain

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wondersinwaynemanor · 5 hours

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some petty scenarios between the Wayne kids just to annoy the other (or more like get some attention, even though they won't admit it).

Tim: You know I hate your paintings, Dami. They're too colorful and too bright. They're too... Ugh.. Good. And... And... Maybe find another hobby? It's getting annoying.

Damian: You know what's a nuisance, Drake? You.

Tim: Not as annoying as your -

Damian: Keep talking nonsense, Drake, and I'll be asking for the portrait I did of you and Kent.

Tim, wraps an arm on Damian's shoulder: Heyyyy, I was kidding. All good, Dami.

---

Jason: Remember when you had the long hair, Goldie?

Dick: And I want to have that hair again.

Steph: I wish I was there to see it in person. You slayed, Dick!

Dick, flutters his lashes: Oh, you didn't need to say that, Steph.

Jason, scoffs: Ha? That long hair slayed? It was too shiny, it stung my eyes. No, no--it blinded some rogues. You don't want that to happen to you, right, Steph?

Dick, pouts: What are you talking about, Little Wing???? You even said you wanted a hair like mine!!!

Jason: I was young and made bad decisions. Of course, you all know that by now.

Steph: Jason doesn't know what he's talking about. Have the long hair again, Dick!

Dick, huffs: I'm glad I got a supporter.

---

Steph, groans: I can't focus!!!

Steph can't see Cass' face with her cowl on but she knows Cass is giving her a questioning look.

Steph: You're too distracting, okay?

Cass continues to stare at Steph.

Steph, whispers: You're wearing the perfume I really like.

Cass, tilts her head: Okay. I won't use-

Steph, gasps: Who told you to do that???

---

Jason, tries to enjoy his toast and tea in peace: Maybe try to open the drawer harder, Timbo? I'm sure it will be broken then.

Tim, opening the refrigerator doors this time with extra force, raises his voice: What was that, Jay???

Jason: Are you serious? It's too early.

Tim, gets a cup of coffee: Not my fault you're in the kitchen. Go and eat in your room. You're not the only person in this house.

Jason, raises his brows at him: What's your fucking problem??

Tim: Nothing.

proceeds to steal the fruit that's on Jason's plate.

Jason: Seriously?????

proceeds to grab Tim's cup of coffee on his hand and chugs on it.

Tim: You're an animal!!!

Jason: So are you!!!

Alfred, by the kitchen door, pinches the bridge of his nose: Oh, should the young masters must really be shouting this early?

---

Duke: Do you need anything else, Dick?

Dick, grins: Nope, nope. Carry on, Second Little D.

Duke: I can't really help you with your bike if you're singing loudly right in my ear.

Dick, blushes: Oops, sorry. I'll keep quiet.

Duke, chuckles: No, it's okay. Just don't do it right in my ear. I need my hearing.

meanwhile, Damian plays a video in the Batcomputer in a high volume.

Dick, shouts from across the cave: Dami, maybe lower the volume?

Damian, shouts back: Tt. It's a tactic to cover up your singing, Grayson. And Thomas, I need your help with-

Dick: I still need him with my bike, Dami!

Damian: You've had him for the past three hours, Grayson!

Dick: And so???

Damian: And so, I need his assistance with something.

Duke, scratches the back of his neck: Maybe I can help you both later. It's time for me to call Izzy anyways-

Dick and Damian at the same time: Wait, no!

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galaxymagitech · 21 hours

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Bruce, walking into the room:

Bruce: *sees Tim and Jason covered in glitter and fencing with fire pokers, Steph and Cass having a tea party while taped to the ceiling and providing commentary in British accents, Duke climbing out the window, Damian roasting marshmallows in the curtains (which are now on fire), and Dick attempting to put out the curtain fire with a bucket of fruit punch*

Bruce:

Bruce: What.

Tim: I can explain.

Dick: No, he can’t.

Tim: Yes I can. The explanation is that we’re all insane.

#incorrect batfamily quotes #batman #dc #dc comics #dcu #batfamily #batfam #tim drake #dick grayson #jason todd #damian wayne #cassandra cain #stephanie brown #bruce wayne #duke thomas #incorrect quotes #incorrect batman quotes #incorrect dc quotes #humor

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murdockbuckley · 1 hour

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jason: mate i'll fight you

dick: i'll bite you

jason: BITE ME?

dick: yeah? you bite me, i'll bite you

jason: I SAID FIGHT YOU! WHY WOULD I BITE YOU?

dick: ohh... i'll still bite you

#a conversation that just happened between me and my brother #jason todd #red hood #dick grayson #nightwing #batfamily #incorrect quotes #incorrect batfam #incorrect dc comics #incorrect dc quotes #batman #batkids #batfam #dc

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dc-and-damirae · 1 day

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steph: My Mom is the worst! Ugh! jason: She sold you out to the joker? I feel that. steph: … steph: Hold on, I gotta go call my mom and apologize.

#incorrect dc quotes #incorrect quotes #dc incorrect quotes #dc funny #dc comics #batfam #incorrect batkids #incorrect batfamily quotes #batfam on crack #mommy issues

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jonjaydami · 19 hours

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So I need to know what animal they think is the batfamilies special interest.

Like we all know they are on the spectrum like look at Bruce. He's a 30 year old man that dresses as a bat and don't get me wrong there are several reasons he dresses as one but it always has something to do with the animal itself and I always think that's funny how it's even used as a joke in several comics, and animated movies/ shows.

So Bruce knows everything about bat's, shape color, species, what food they eat and how they live and even the different culture views on bat's. He could talk all day about it if asked and he always does it with the utmost care. Like he was giving a speech at a gala or speaking to the league.

I think we all know Dicks is obviously Robin's. Cause why else would he choose to be a brightly colored vigilante that's after a bird from the north? I feel like after moving in with Bruce he took a quiz on what bird he would be cause he was studying birds in school and got a Robin and took that to heart as a passion and not only learned everything about a Robin's but that had just become his identity for awhile and he loved it. Bruce when he heard it at first had thought it wouldn't work but after making him his own costume and even watching several videos on the birds he thought it fit his son nicely.

Jason didn't break away from the Robin role and embraces it actually. But he was always way more shy when it came to discussing his favorite. I think he would have a fascination with bugs and snakes and would absolutely be the kid with a spider or a beardy. He once convinced Bruce to get him a baby beardy and then it became an obsession. He had a sweatshirt that even had a cartoonish looking beardy printed on it and he proudly talks about it to any one who asked. Bruce would silently close his eyes and soak in all the information about them he could.

I totally think Tim loves frogs and even sea creatures. He has a tank with shrimp in it and his boyfriend makes fun of him and calls him a shrimp farmer but he also has a tank that has glass frogs in it. It's a huge tank that takes up over half his room and he loves just watching them sleep and even makes cute little tiktoks with them. He always is getting cute things for the habitat and going shopping. He also takes Damian on these trips. Because they both enjoy walking around and even stopping to pet or talk to the people who bring in their dogs. Bruce also enjoys walking into Tim's room and seeing the frogs and shrimp and even says hello to them before leaving again.

Damian is no stranger to having a soft spot for animals but I know he loves cats and dogs. He is definitely a cat person. Alfred the cat is his prized possession and he will proudly take pictures and then draw them. He loves using his animals as drawing references and has multiple books filled to the brim of just them. Sometimes if they are really good he goes to Bruce and asks them to be laminated so he can hang them up in his room because they deserve to be celebrated and respected. He also tells Bruce odd facts about his animals. How Alfred (the cat) specifically likes to sleep on his left side and enjoys being scratched behind his ears the most.

Bruce loves his weird sons because he is weird and for Christmas he always gets them something related to their animals because it's like a bonding experience for them. Some days they don't even talk about anything but their animals but I can imagine them all settling on a couch and out of pure bordem putting on documentaries and spending time just listening and learning. Of course this could also lead into some heated debates about who's animals is the best.

Jason: no you don't understand

Damian: *scoffs* actually Todd you never understood anything

Dick: ok well I set the whole thing for Robin soooo

Tim: oh please you were eight!!

Bruce: I think we are forgetting how bats-

Kids: *groan because they have been hearing about bat's for over half their lives and are tired*

Alfred just walks in and smiles as he sets a pitcher down.

Alfred: actually you are forgetting how important bee's are to the environment. Which is why I plant only the best pollinator friendly flowers

Cue to everyone rioting cause after all this time Alfred has never talked about the fact he is in fact a bee guy. Ever since he started working for the Wayne's they let him have full control of the gardens and he always loved that in the bleak of Gotham he had his own personal eden with the flowers. Bruce's parents also appreciated him for this and would let Alfred do as he pleased when he would passionately talk to them about the bees. Even when they passed away Bruce had always assumed Alfred just did it because he didn't trust anyone else.

Which was part way true but he loves watching them bumble around and bump into each other as he works.

If anyone knows what Duke, steph, and Cass would like please comment or feel free to debate!! Just please remember to be nice and save the bees 🐝

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incorrect-quotes-4-u · 5 hours

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Batfam Quote #5

Red Robin: The odds of this happening by coincidence are vanishingly small.

Oracle: I would say infinitesimally.

Spoiler: And I'd say teenily-weenily. We all know words.

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justapersonwhitaname · 1 day

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(Thing that happen between me and a friend of mine)

Jason: Where are you going?

Tim: To make coffee

Jason: No

Tim: You aren't my boss

Jason: I HAVE BISCUITS AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE THEM!

Tim: *Sit slowly down without coffe*

#jason todd #red hood #tim drake #red robin #robin #batkids #batboys #batfam #batfamily #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect dc quotes

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incorrectbatfam · 1 day

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Riddler: Ah, yes. I’ve been expecting you.

Bruce: What? How’s that possible?

Riddler: By staring at that door continuously for hours. Something was bound to happen.

#source: inside job #bruce wayne #batman #edward nygma #riddler #gotham rogues #batfamily #batfam #batman family #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #dc villains #dc comics

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arrowmaker15 · 13 hours

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(A difficult case, the Batfam is discussing in the cave)

Spoiler: How are we supposed to get proof that it's their drugs?

Red Robin, who knows what everyone is capable of to a terrifying degree: Good question. *turns to Jason* Do you have an answer?

Red Hood:

Red Hood: I could probably just go buy some. Mindy owes me a favor.

Spoiler: Who the hell is Mindy!?

Nightwing: You can buy drugs whenever you want!?

Red Hood: I was a crime lord, Dickhead, remember? I have friends in very low places. I'll get the proof. Just gimme an hour.

Batman: Go buy them. Use ca-

Red Hood, leaving: Already have your wallet.

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yjcorefourenjoyer · 3 months

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AU that the batkids are all serious and bat-like ONLY WHEN BATMAN ISN’T AROUND

Like when they’re on their own team/out of Gotham? Most respected, calm and serious person there. They have a plan and it will work. “Oh yeah I memorized all the exits and people here the second I entered, you didn’t?” That’s them.

But in Gotham w/ Batman? Pranks galore and singing on patrol, they forget to sleep and forget to eat. When Batman tells them their gonna have a longer patrol they all sigh and complain while trying to give other siblings their work in exchange for doing that sibling’s chore.

But nobody knows that they act like that!! Batman would say something like

“Gosh my kids blew something up I have to go,”

AND EVERYONE WHOSE EVER MET THEM IS ALL CONFUSED LIKE “BUT THEIR A BAT?!?! HUH??!”

and Batman would respond

“Oh yeah you know them, always doing something their not supposed to”

JL: “NO?!”

#Batman #dick grayson #Jason todd #tim drake #damian wayne #cassandra cain #batkids #batboys #batman au #dc comics #batfam #batfamily #justice league #incorrect dc quotes #incorrect batfam

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wondersinwaynemanor · 2 months

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Bruce: Jaylad, I need you to be at the Wayne gala this weekend.

Jason: But why me, B? Why not pretty boy, Dickie? I'm sure the ladies miss him.

Bruce: Your brother has a double shift this weekend.

Jason: How about the brat? He needs the socialization.

Bruce: Will be at the Kents' for a sleepover.

Jason: How about -

Bruce: The rest of your siblings will be busy, lad.

Jason: But Bruce, I'll be busy too. And even though I wasn't, I don't want to be around those pretentious fuck - people.

Bruce: Diana will be there.

Jason: Why didn't you start with that? Absolutely! I'll be there, old man. And I'll need a new suit.

--

at the gala

Diana: Aw, you look really handsome, little prince.

Jason blushes and smiles like the little boy who saw Wonder Woman for the first time.

#please jason you're such a fanboy #my mind is back at this again #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect dc quotes #incorrect batfam #incorrect quotes #batfamily #batdad #wondermom #yes this tag #bruce wayne #jason todd #diana prince #batman #wonder woman #wonderbat #dc comics

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galaxymagitech · 2 months

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Jason (Age 12): I’m not gonna die from inhaling cigarette smoke, quit worrying, B.

Jason (Age 15): *dies from smoke inhalation*

Jason (Age 19): Well, it wasn’t the cigarettes.

#i find it darkly funny that people probably told Jason smoking would kill him #and then he died from smoke inhalation #irony i guess?#incorrect batman quotes #batman #dc comics #dc #dcu #jason todd #incorrect quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #batfamily #batfam #incorrect dc quotes #humor

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