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#incorrect quotes
nerdynuala · 2 days
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Taking the first steps of my not-so-slow but definitely steady descent into a new hyperfixation fandom
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incorrectbatfam · 3 days
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Dick: What’d you make for Selina?
Bruce, staring at the food he burned: Regret.
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percy: am i dead?
percy, seeing annabeth asleep next to him: is this elysium?
clarisse, knocking on the door: open up, losers, it’s clarisse
percy: oh gods, it’s the field of punishment
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radvelvetcakez · 3 days
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Alastor, holding a kettle: Coffee or tea? Lucifer: Tea. Alastor: Wrong. It's coffee.
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cod-dump · 2 days
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*after Soap joins 141*
Gaz, coming up to him: How tall are you, again?
Soap: ?? 177-
Gaz, yelling into the other room: HE’S SHORTER THAN ME
Ghost: THAT’LL DO
Soap, concerned: That’ll do what??
Gaz: *runs into the other room*
Soap: THAT’LL DO WHAT?!?
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bruciemilf · 19 hours
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How do think everyone in the batfamily would react to meeting Thomas and Martha?
Tim: [Conspiracy theorist noises, no one knows if they’re good or bad]
Jason: great, more rich people. Not like we have enough of those. [Loves Martha and wants to know if Catherine is okay, if there’s even a possibility of knowing.]
Dick: sorry I knocked off your ashes while doing gymnastics, grandpa. I think you were in the vacuum cleaner for a while :/
Thomas: meh, it happens :D as long as you’re having fun!
Duke: ok so wait. You’re telling me Gotham used to be WORSE?
Damian: [Keeps getting his cheeks pinched] Can you purchase the government and make animal abuse punishable by hanging?
Thomas: I’m sure we can make that happen! Anything for my little man!
Bruce: Father :|
Thomas: What, I miss the death penalty. Now those were the days.
Bruce: Mother!
Martha: Don’t look at me. I made Luigi Maroni drink a bleach cocktail for kicking a cat.
Damian: …You’ve earned my admiration, Grandmother.
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yooooodude · 2 days
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Art credit @purble-sarah
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super-marvel-dc · 2 days
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Y/N, getting their arm stitched up by Roy: *Lets out a muffled scream with Jason's belt in their mouth*
Jason: Always wanted your teeth marks in my belt, but never thought of it this way.
Roy, and Y/N: *Slowly looks up at Jason*
Jason: What? Bad timing?
Roy: Ya think!
Y/N, at the same time as Roy: *Still with the belt in their mouth* ya tink!
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this-hazbin-quoted · 3 days
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Alastor: So why do you do your paper work in the gym?
Charlie, sipping iced coffee whilst watching Vaggie do hip thrusts: For the aesthetic? I dunno
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Incorrect Batfam Quotes
Tim: *develops a plan
Steph: Not gonna lie, that sounds like a war crime.
Tim: It’s never a war crime the first time. Now whether it gets designated a war crime after…
Tim: That’s not my problem.
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(as heard on TikTok)
James: Wow, your legs look amazing in those pants...
Regulus: You should see me without them.
James: Without...legs?
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Y/N: I cant believe we're locked in this room together Ghost, throwing the key out of the window: Truly unfortunate
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incorrectbatfam · 2 days
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Damian: My grandfather is in the backyard stabbing the ground with his sword trying to render the soil barren by killing the worms but luckily my sister has trained them all in classical ballet and they keep pirouetting away from the blade.
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SMASH BROS SEXYMAN CONTEST: FINALE!
Bayonetta v. Luigi:
VICTOR:
LUIGI!
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...Wow.
The Ultimate Smash Bros Sexyman is...
literally...
Just.
Some.
Guy.
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radvelvetcakez · 2 days
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Angel: So, are you two dating now? Lucifer & Alastor: Yes. Angel: Why? Alastor: I happen to find Lucifer very appealing. Angel: Yeah, I can understand that. I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with Lucifer.
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cod-dump · 2 days
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Price: Phone privileges have been revoked for the rest of the car ride
*a chorus of angry grown men*
Price: Well, you can blame-
Nik: Someone who shall not be named- *sees Price glaring at him* … Okay, maybe they will be named
Ghost: Great going, Nikolai
Gaz, gasping: Not the full name-
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