#incorrect batfamily quotes
incorrectbatfam · 3 days
Duke, to Bruce: So what's going on between you and Green Lantern? I'm sensing some tension.
Duke, to Cassandra: I didn't sense any tension, I just wanted to start some drama and I figured Bruce and Hal were a good start.
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strawberrywriter · 2 days
Batsis: Dick, no rapping tonight.
Dick: Why?
Jason: You rap about Patrick Swayze everytime you get drunk.
Tim: It's embarrassing.
Dick: Okay, fine.
*Six hours later, after two drinks at a gala.*
Dick, on stage: Uh-oh, y'all, it's getting kinda crazy...
Dick: Feeling like I might start dancing like Swayze...
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batfamhyperfixation · 5 hours
Jason: Ew, this tastes gross *turning to Dick next to him and holding it out to him* try it
Dick: What? No way, you just said it tastes gross, why would I try it?
Jason: fine *turns to Tim on the other side of him, holding it out* try this
Tim: *takes a bite* Yeah, disgusting
Damian: Oh please, Drake's a baby, let me try it
Tim: *passes it to Damian*
Damian: *Tries it* Eww, yeah, no, this is gross
Steph: *Takes it from Damian, trying it* makes me want to vomit, try it Cass
Cass: *Takes a bite* yeah no, please never get this again, you want some Duke?
Duke: Why not *takes a bite* Meh, it's not horrible, it's just not good
Dick: Well now I feel left out
Duke: *hands it to Dick*
Dick: *takes a bite*
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Bruce, in the background: *slaps his forehead* why are they like this
Jason: You wanna try Bruce?
Bruce, dad who feels bad when he says no to his kids: *pained smile* *through clenched teeth* Suuuure...
Dick: *hands it to Bruce*
Bruce: *takes a bite, spits it out into his napkin* Awful, truly atrocious, I'm going to sue, that was so awful
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arguablysomaya · 1 day
Tim: if you listen closely to dishwashers, you can hear the slurping sound of the hundreds of tongues inside licking your dishes clean Jason: I'm not a violent person, but I'm about to be Steph: you are absolutely a violent person Jason: yeah, but I'm about to be indiscreet about it
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yourmomxx · 2 days
Y/N: I love you guys, you're the best thing that's happened to me.
Jason: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you?
Y/N: Yes.
Tim: I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you.
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Jason: I traveled through the world to learn from the best and the worst, but honestly, Dick Grayson is the one who enlightened me the most.
Jason: When I run out of torture ideas, I remember what my cellmate in Blackgate told me about his encounter with the first Robin, the real Terror of the Night. Man, that little birdie was absolutely feral, what a muse.
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Dick: So, the toxicology research says that he was killed by belladonna
Jason & Tim:
Jason & Tim: The porn star?
Dick: The poison...
Jason & Tim: Oh...
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lieslmusto · 2 days
Jason: Damian, my old arch enemy. Tim: I thought I was your arch enemy? Jason: I have a life outside of you, Tim.
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dc-and-damirae · 2 days
Tim: I haven't slept in a week.
Bernard: Listen here you beautiful idiot you need to go to bed right now!
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theaceofarrows · 2 days
Dick: The worst part about being an adult human is having to be your own zookeeper
Dick: Like, I have to make sure that my meals are nutritionally balanced... well, sorta. I have to make sure that the space I occupy is big enough, and interesting enough to provide enrichment. And so many phone calls...
Tim: Don't forget you have to make your own vet appointments
Jason: And you get to put yourself in your own carrier
Dick: [tired sigh] Dude, sometimes I really DON'T want to go in the carrier
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incorrectbatfam · 2 days
[at a carnival]
Damian, taking out his wallet: How much for the horse tornado?
Dick: Dami, that's a carousel.
Damian: I must have it.
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batfamgalore · 1 day
Jason: Everyone makes mistakes. Are you that perfect that you can’t accept it?
Dick: Obviously.
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rei-tubbie · 1 day
Damian: *Holds up a daisy* This flower is like you.
Dick: Aww, thanks! Is it because it's beautiful?
Jason: Don't get your hopes up, Damian's just thinking of decapitating your head and how easy you are to kill.
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arguablysomaya · 1 day
Damian: Adults are the most insanely stupid people I have the displeasure of interacting with.
Dick: Even us?
Damian: Especially you.
Jason: Petition to kick Damian out so they stop insulting us.
Dick: Seconded.
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Incorrect Batfam Quotes
*Jason has just finished explaining an insane plan for a takedown
Dick: That is the stupidest idea I’ve ever heard!
Jason: I have done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons!
Jason: So you should come with me, because if it goes right, I need a witness.
Dick: …and if it goes wrong?
Jason: If it goes wrong, I need an escape plan.
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batfamhyperfixation · 9 hours
Jason: *angrily beating up villains in a fight*
Tim: is he being more aggressive than usual?
Dick: He's upset cause he just found out he can't title his self-inserted Pride and Prejudice fanfic "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" cause that's already a famous Pride and Prejudice fanfic
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