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#source: the good place
incorrectbatfam · 7 months
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Dick: Sorry it took me so long to bail you out of jail.
Jason: No, it's my fault. I shouldn't have used my one phone call to prank call the police.
[earlier]
Comm. Gordon: Commissioner Gordon speaking.
Jason: Is your refrigerator running?
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incorrectquotesmcu · 2 months
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Natasha: I love you, okay?!?
Y/N: The words are nice, but the tone is scary.
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bisexual-cryptid · 1 year
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steve, after they fight inter dimensional monsters: we have fun don’t we?
eddie, visibly shaking: i have never been more stressed out in my entire life.
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uncorrectintamed · 6 months
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Jin Ling: Why should I listen to you?
Lan Jingyi: Because I'm your nicest friend-no wait, that's Sizhui.
Lan Jingyi: I'm your smartest friend-no again, that's also Sizhui.
Lan Jingyi: I'm your friend!
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Leo: I haven’t been this happy since..
Leo: ...
Leo: Oh wow, I’ve never been happy.
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potoincorrectquotes · 5 months
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potoincorrectquotes | insp.
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caslutz · 2 months
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Keeley: I’ve broken up with dozens of people, and all of them got over it.
Rebecca: Actually, none of your exes have ever gotten over you.
Keeley: You’re damn right they didn’t.
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imdefyingmavity · 2 months
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Vaggie: Lucifer, sir, we're glad you're here for Charlie but we have a couple of questions for you.
Angel: Yeah, like if you're the devil, why are you not wearing Prada?!
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Tav: I know you’re deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are.
Astarion: It’s not a joke.
Astarion: *sniffles*
Astarion: I’m a legit snack.
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tired-teddybear · 9 months
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Peter B: We have fun, don’t we Miguel?
Miguel: I have never been more stressed out in my entire life.
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strangerthingsquotes · 7 months
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Steve: Sorry it took me so long to bail you out of jail.
Billy: No it's my fault, I shouldn't have used my one phone call to prank call the police.
[a few hours earlier]
Hopper [answering his desk phone]: Chief speaking.
Billy: Is your refrigerator running?
Hopper while still on the phone turning to glare at Billy:
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incorrectbatfam · 8 months
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Damian: I got you something that will make you happy. I call them "Opposite Tortures."
Tim: You mean presents?
Damian: Yes, that's better, thank you.
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incorrectquotesmcu · 5 months
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Jennifer: Wait, you two are sleeping together?
Y/N: Only when we’re done having sex…
Natasha: [facepalms]
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iwannabealice · 4 months
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bart: i scratched off the lottery ticket, and i won $18,000!
conner: wow
cassie: that’s amazing!
tim: better luck next time
bart:
tim: yeah, sorry, from context, i see that is actually a large sum of money
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george-the-pumpkin · 3 months
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Lucy [doing an impression of Kipps]: I'm Quill Kipps. I mock others to distract myself from the emptiness inside me.
Kipps: That's fair. That's a fair hit.
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I always listen to Ami. She's very kind and clever, and she looks like one of those owls that went to college.
Usagi
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