Steph would not only be on foodtok but she would DOMINATE
"Making the viral Harley Quinn cupcake bombs"
"Trying every item on the Batburger secret menu"
"Everything I ate at the Wayne Gala"
"Testing Spoiler's waffle hack"
"Letting my brother decide what I eat for a day"
But also she'd have a second equally popular account doing the EXACT same thing as Spoiler
"What I eat in a week as a vigilante"
"Packing Orphan's patrol snacks"
"Rating restaurants that are secretly crime fronts"
"The waffle hack that took down Cluemaster"
"Breaking into Lex Luthor's office and vibe checking his mini fridge"
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I love it when I scroll through AO3 and I read a good fic, and I’m like “wow!! I can’t believe I didn’t read this before! I’m gonna bookmark this!”
But I did
It was already bookmarked
Which means I read it, liked it, saved it, then read it for the first time again because I completely forgot it existed
Benefits of the occasional goldfish brain
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Wondering who Jason Todd could have become if Batman didn't find him. He's still the extremely cunning and fearless guy who in another life conquered Gotham's underworld in a long weekend, just with no guide rails.
My current favourite option is Gotham's go-to guy for replacing your skylights after a vigilante has dramatically smashed their way into your warehouse.
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out of context things heard in wayne manor:
bruce: i understand, but pretending you cooked jerry the turkey is not a proportionate response to damian calling you a peasant again
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jason: look there’s a right way and a wrong way to make food. there’s also the bruce way, which is the wrong way except faster and worse
duke: *frantically scribbling notes*
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tim: do you think our relationship was kinda like incest now?
steph, horrified: never open your mouth in my presence again timothy
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dick: so then he’s like—guys. guys are you seriously signing about me in front of my face. i learned it too—hey i do NOT have a butt chin take that back—
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damian: i don’t understand, why does he wear such a ridiculous hat? is it like that margaret poppins woman grayson showed me?
tim, who watched the live action cat in the hat too much as a kid and is about to violently infodump: well you see-
dick: oh god it’s too late
jason: yeah the brats on his own for this one i’m not fucking dealing with that again
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bruce: are you lying?
tim: always. anyway, like i was saying—
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steph: hey what’s up with you and all the redheads
dick: …i’m not discussing this with you
steph, starting to chase him: gingervitus is a serious affliction! you cant run from this
dick, sprinting away: yes the fuck i can
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duke: so is anyone gonna talk about the elephant in the room…
dick:
dick: look i was feeling sentimental and zitka jr. really isn’t any trouble
damian: she is magnificent
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tim: so i dropped out and
duke: wait we can drop out of high school??!!?
bruce: NO.
duke: please bruce ap biology is beating my ass right now
jason: nah tim just got to drop cause bruce was dead and he’s a loser. the real problem is what you’re reading in ap lit right now, because i have thoughts on that curriculum—
duke: i’m not even gonna use half that material in the real world
tim: actually most of our villains have PhDs so their plans are based on pretty real science
duke: not helping timothy
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cass, signing: why are brothers on the ceiling?
jason: tims in timeout from working on his caseload
cass, still confused: yes but why taped to the ceiling
duke: listen if you know a better way of restraining his psycho ass then i’m all ears
cass: and damian?
jason: oh he saw this as free range target practice so he had to go up there too
cass: they are plotting revenge up there
duke: think of it as brotherly bonding
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damian: it’s not my fault he got in the way
bruce: you threw an eclair at lex luthor
damian: i was aiming for drake
tim: bruce we can’t take him anywhere
dick, holding back laughter: timmy you also paid four separate people to come to the gala solely to ask him if they could use his head to see if they had something in their teeth
tim: you have no proof that was me
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duke: look steph, it’s not that we don’t want to help with this
jason: i don’t want to help
duke: it’s more that i don’t think we can physically fit that many people in a shopping cart, and your whole plan kind of hinges on that
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alfred: i’m not mad, just disappointed in you.
every batkid, near tears: sorry alfred
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jason: HE HAD DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY AS THE FUCKING WHAT—
bruce: listen—
tim, mouth full and brain empty: the ambassador to iran. crazy right?
dick: tim please
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