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#this is canon
gleafer · 2 days
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Apple of My Eye Part 2: La manzana
Enjoy!
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ghotifishreads · 1 day
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Joel Miller x reader blurb: Joel is a sweetly nervous wreck on your first date
Guys? This? This----
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That's 100% tipsy DILF Joel Miller going on his first proper date in a long while and he's super nervous and wants to make a good impression and so he arrives early and pounds merlot before his date gets there. Bullet point head canon fluff below. Thanks to @ozarkthedog for encouraging my nonsense. 😘
Word count: 550ish
Pairing: DILF disaster dater Joel Miller x f!reader
Unedited, unbeta'd etc. No warnings used, nothing beyond sweet disaster dater Joel Miller really.
Putting it out into the world unformed so we can all have a lil' indulgent daydream.
He's trying' to get back in the dating game
(like yeah he gets laid but DATING is scary)
Sarah is off to college and before she does (he's fucking mortified but appreciative) she helps him set up dating apps
and he's mostly horrified at having to interact with strangers lmao
and how some women are just straight in with sexting and he's a bit skittish and been a bit single for that
(with a stranger at least. Joel is slut when it's intimate)
but he's talking to a nice lady (that's you, babe!) and she’s funny and nice and seems real
So they arrange a 'big' 'proper' first date
and Joel wants to make a good impression
He picks a nice restaurant where Joel’s gonna have to wear a suit jacket
and he's sooo nervous
and Reader is too
But Joel doesn’t clock it, all he sees when you walk in is a vision in a beautiful, enticing dress perfectly suited to the venue, while he feels like a cater-waiter in his button down and sport coat
Meanwhile he turned up nearly 20 minutes early
and now he's flushed from downing nearly 2 glasses of wine in quick succession
and you both order dinner and there are some awkward starts and stops to conversation. But you're both kind and want the date to succeed, so you both take turns fumbling to fill the few awkward silences
He picks wine instead of anything harder because he wants to be present
He's trying to be a GENTLEMAN
he REALLY likes you
dinner is delicious and the waiter brings the dessert menu. And nothing on it even looks nice, even though you have a massive sweet tooth, and certainly don't want the night with Joel to end
"This all looks a bit fancy and not very sweet," you suggest putting the menu down. 
So you say"shall we get the bill?" 
Joel's heart drops cuz he doesn't want the night to end, but you clearly do and how did he fuck up so bad, of course you were just seeing the date through to the end cuz you’re nice and polite and—
Then you carry on "Do you want to go get gelato? There's a really good place around the corner."
and then his heart soars when you suggest gelato
Like Ozzie said, he’s like a “teenage girl totally lovestruck”
Joel flags down the waiter so fast and there’s a tussle for the check, and he only agrees to split the check when you acquiesce  to let him buy you gelato. 
You stroll down the street and the summer night is warm and the dark envelops you. You and Joel get your gelatos and sit down on a park bench, chatting merrily away, the awkwardness of the night forgotten as conversation flows. 
Joel pointed out you had some ice cream on your face and when you kept missing it with swipes of your napkin, he licks his thumb, swipes it at the corner of your mouth, and popped the digit between his own lips. 
It was only when you gawped at him that he realized what he’d done without thinking, and took his thumb out from between his plump lips. 
“God, I’m so sorry, that was---” You shut him up by lunging at him and licking the taste of your ice cream out of his mouth. 
++the end++ 
I love one (1) man, and it's nervous DILF Joel Miller:
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“Harry lay curled uncomfortably under the cloak to ensure that every inch of him remained hidden, and watched Pansy the sleek blond hair off Malfoy’s forehead, smirking as she did so, as though anyone would have loved to have been in her place.”
Harry would’ve loved to had been in her place ❤️💚
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girl-named-matty · 20 hours
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Sebastian: Arson? Oh, you mean "crime brûlée".
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alicerovai · 6 months
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- Mobius, if I don’t make it back, I…
-You’ll make it back.
F*ck everything they’re REAL.
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pearlynia · 1 month
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Sirius: *yelling insults while running*
Regulus: *chasing with an axe looking murderous*
James looking at them from the window: uhmmmmm
Remus: should we help..?
Lily looks up from her book: oh no they'll be fine. It's a normal sibling thing to do, you guys wouldn't understand.
Remus:
James:
James: what are they fighting about again?
Lily: Regulus ate the last cookie so Sirius ate his book
Remus: I'm glad I don't have any siblings
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Merlin, *walks into a round table meeting and passes out on the table*
Merlin: I swear to the gods, if the prat doesn’t stop destroying his rooms every time he can’t find me
Arthur: I can hear you, and it serves you right for spending four whole days in the tavern.
Merlin, *crying in frustration and having not slept in four days*
Lancelot, *casually pets Merlin’s hair, earning glares from Arthur*
Morgana, *laughing into a scrying pool*
Mordred: the tavern? I thought he was fighting Morgana after she sent that beast to kill Arthur
Merlin, muffled by the table: shut the fuck up, Mordred.
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abatdeer · 1 year
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noideawhatidobutfit · 5 months
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maned-wo1f · 6 months
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pov you are skwisgaar and you’re about to lose a staring contest with toki
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junkokiu · 1 year
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SNK Final Season Premiere red carpet with E・M・A 🎬
Instagram | Twitter | RedBubble
~ Please, do not edit or repost my art ~
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jaywuzhere9029 · 5 months
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art dump because i forget i have a tumblr and yuh
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“Malfoy stood on one side, the sunlight gleaming on his white-blond head. He caught Harry’s eyes and smirked.”
This is canon, Drarry is canon ❤️💚
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elevenharbor · 7 days
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The moment I shipped these two. So redrawing that scene in honor of it.
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ruubesz-draws · 2 months
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And that's how Godzilla got trapped in the ice and lost weight👍 :)
Also, Rodan is in the movie. I know this because I saw it in my dreams.
Inspired by Mickey Mouse Shorts
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gods-graveyard · 2 months
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Jily, Jegulus, Jegulily or whatever tf else you ship-
James Fleamont Potter- is, was, and will always be a simp.
Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk
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