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#gotham
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HC that the average life expectancy in Gotham is actually four years higher than the national average because they collectively just keep refusing to die
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ditzybat · 2 days
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non-gotham locals think the most prolific bat-villain is the joker, or scarecrow, even the riddler — or any of their assorted highly dangerous deluded rogues.
but a real gothamite knows how big a pain in the ass condiment king is, in fact, urban legend says that the bat kids have formed a pact to not tell batman if condiment king just happens to turn up… at the bottom of gotham harbor.
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mylifeingotham · 2 days
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babyyoda234 · 3 days
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Gotham is an environmental NIGHTMARE⚠️
This may be a really niche topic, but my degree is currently in Environmental science, so this is on my mind constantly.
Think about it:
The Joker is constantly messing with the air quality with his "laughing gas".
Poison Ivy's pheromones are definitely going to end up in the water supply.
Killer Croc lives in the sewers? Imagine having to deal with a sewer emergency and your boss goes "Dammit Waylon. Again?"
He's not even the only person who lives in the sewers canonically.
Bruce Wayne is constantly flying private. Don't even get me started on Batman and the Justice Leagues carbon emissions...
The Joker is constantly crashing planes/ cars into Gotham Harbor. You know that water is polluted beyond repair. Imagine having Aquaman step in because all the fish are in Gotham are dying...
Not to mention, Batman's rogues are constantly poisoning that water supply.
The Rogues' are also poisoning themselves by working out of old abandoned buildings that are riddled with asbestos....
On the topic of my girl Poison Ivy...
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Can you imagine having this woman in class? Freshman year she teaches the hardest intro level botany course offered. You spend every week going to her office hours hoping to pass her class, then a decade later she is bullying you for not remembering the exact equation for photosynthesis while you clean up the mess SHE MADE. The drama.
Might write a fan fic about this in the next couple months. Comment if you would be interested!
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Incorrect Batfam Quotes
Tim: *mindlessly ranting about his latest conspiracy in the middle of an insomniac episode
Tim: …so what do you think? Am I right?
Jason: What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard.
Jason: At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought.
Jason: Everyone in this room, myself included is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
Tim: …
Tim: A simple no would have sufficed.
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paarassha · 2 days
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gotham but its russia 90s
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my deepest apologies to eng speakers but im unable to translate all the cultural aspects and puns of this au so you just have to look at cyrillic letters😔 nydmobs bonus sketches down here⬇️⬇️⬇️
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ВСЕМ РУССКОГОВОРЯЩИМ ХАЙ ВЫ БЫ БЛЯТЬ ЗНАЛИ КАК МЕНЯ РАЗЪЕБАЛО КОГДА Я ПОНЯЛА КОГО ОН МНЕ НАПОМИНАЕТ ВСЕМ ПОКА
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sagesreverie · 19 hours
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xzcopycat · 3 days
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Hallucination! Oswald is now one of my favorite things to draw
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theodorecanaryhood · 2 days
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Red Hood and the Red Head
Jason Todd x Male reader
Warning: Rough unprotected sex and swearing
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The string lights hung from the ceiling as they sparkled, the scent from the candles filled the room.
Jason sighed as he watched the video in his phone, a video he could never seem to delete. A captured moment of love and happiness, it only left a bitter taste in Jason’s mouth.
‘Hey Alfred’ Jason smiled slightly to his cat, a cat that was his only friend in this moment.
A small knock at the door left Jason filled with dread, he knew it was one of his brothers. Coming round to leave pity on him.
‘Dick’ Jason’s straight face and broad shoulders left a mark on Dick, Dick always felt small compared to Jason. Even though Dick is the eldest.
‘Hey buddy, just wanted to drop this round’ Dick said as he handed Jason a bag.
‘You shouldn’t have’ Jason remarked sarcastically as he saw the bag filled with cleaning supplies.
‘Figured you’d need a good clean’ Dick said as he walked around Jason’s apartment.
Jason placed the bag on the table as he walked over to his older brother, Dick looking at Jason’s face. His eyes were red, he looked like he had been crying.
Jason would never admit to anyone that he had, but Dick could see.
‘How are you?’ Dick as Jason looked into his eyes.
‘Great, just hit the gym’ Jason smiled a little, Dick gave a small smile. A smile that gave off sympathy.
‘When was the last time you went out?’ Dick asked, Jason shrugged.
‘This morning’
‘I don’t mean like going to the gym or running errands, I mean like out’ Dick said, Jason looked to the floor as he walked to the couch.
Dick had a point to make with Jason, and it was going into Jason’s skull whether he wanted it to or not.
Jason hadn’t dealt properly and Dick could see, Jason not going anywhere was only holding onto this stage.
‘Break ups are hard man, really. But you gotta get back out there. Your ex boyfriend was an asshole’ Dick stated, Jason looked irritated by his words.
‘He wasn’t an asshole’ Jason defended, Dick scoffed.
‘Jason, your ex boyfriend was sleeping with some guy from his work, and another dude from the gym’ Dick pointed out, Jason saw the point.
Even though he saw the point, Jason was still stuck in love with his ex. A relationship he’d put so much work into for 3 years.
Determination on Dick’s part was what forced Jason out of his hole, and into the streets.
Jason showered and groomed, making himself look and smell nice.
Nightclubs were never Jason’s thing, however, gay clubs were better. Jason felt more himself when in them.
‘Hi daddy’ a smaller, petite guy said to Jason.
Jason politely declined the young man, who had to be no older than 17. Jason wasn’t sure how a guy like that would get in, but he was sure he wouldn’t get involved.
‘Oh, sorry’ a man’s voice said as he bumped Jason’s arm.
‘N-no problem’ Jason stuttered a little, looking at you.
You were the cutest guy Jason had seen in this place, curly red hair, pale eyes and the perfect soft skin. Not to mention a beautiful smile.
‘Can I get you a…? Never mind you have one’ Jason laughed, about to ask you wanted a drink.
Jason was not the type to have one night stands, nor was he the type to bring random men back to his apartment.
However, Jason had needs and felt he could just enjoy a night of fun with someone.
You played with Jason’s cat while he smiled, watching you with hunger in his eyes.
Jason came up behind you and sunk his teeth into your neck. Pushing you in the bed as he peeled your clothes off.
Your red hair stuck to Jason’s pillows like a memory, like you’d been there before.
You pulled Jason’s pants down as you gasped at the size of his length, running your hands down Jason’s bare chest. The feel of his body on your fingers.
Your mouth worked Jason’s hard manhood like an expert, you gasped a little at the thought of having Jason’s 12-inch dick inside you. But your mouth watered.
The feeling of Jason’s presence sliding into you made you gasp, calling out, knuckles turning white as you gripped the bedsheets.
You lay on your back as Jason’s body pressed against yours, you sunk your teeth into his neck.
Jason grunted as he thrusted into you, the sound of skin slapping together. The sounds of the bed springs, Jason’s breathing as well as your panting.
Your ass was raw from the start and it was getting burnt in the friction, but it felt so good.
Jason’s grip in your hair made him smile as he kissed you deeply, your eyes piercing into his. Jason slammed into you as you panted.
The sweat from your body dropped into the sheets, soaked and buried into it. Jason felt himself getting close to his eruption, but he didn’t want to finish yet.
Jason rolled onto his back as you perched yourself neatly on his thighs, sliding down onto his length.
Jason held onto your hips as he greeted your thrusts, running a hand down your petite body.
‘This feels so good’ Jason panted into his rhythm as you smiled.
Damp hair from the sweat stuck to your face as you gripped onto Jason’s shoulders, Jason leaving his finger prints on your hips.
‘Oh fuck, Jason I’m so close’ you breathed deeply as you exploded out the head of your hard dick.
Spilling all over Jason’s stomach and chest as Jason picked up a pace, nearing the edge of his glory as Jason gripped tighter onto your hips.
‘Fuck, oh fuck’ Jason called out as he shot out inside you, filling you up with a thousand seeds.
You remained where you were for a while as Jason caught his breath, throwing his head back into the pillow. You giving a sweet kiss to his cheek.
Jason’s arms felt like heaven and that they were made for you, Jason didn’t want you to go. He didn’t want to not see you again.
‘That was some bomb sex’ Jason said with a smile as he kissed your damp, red hair.
You turned and kissed him as he pulled you closer, you ran a hand down his abs as Jason hummed a little.
‘Wanna go again?’ Jason said into the kiss as you rolled onto your front.
It was a night of pure love and passion as Jason never went to sleep, he had all night with you and you were all his.
It was a time of many Jason found as you never stopped seeing him, and he welcomed you into his life.
Your red curly hair shon under the summer day, your bare body revealed as you escaped the clutches of the water.
Jason watched in amazement as he saw you walk out the water, his black hair was covering his eyes a little as the water from the sea dripped on his face.
‘I love you’ Jason smiled as he lifted you off the sandy shore, his body still against yours.
His muscular arms held you in place as you felt like you were flying, Jason carried you to the car as the two of you made your way home.
It was a year of passion, love and joy as you’d found Jason. That fateful night in the nightclub changed both of your lives. Forever.
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tswiftgotham · 3 days
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Nygmobblepot with his dog Edward 🥹💚💜
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frownyalfred · 2 days
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About the cardio and whatnot that the batfamily does
I hope they got posters in the gyms with "you can do it, buddy!" nightwing, "just do it" red robin and just a little menacing robin looking at you in the eyes
Red hood's is a "keep going..." with him just straight up pointing a gun
Motivational batfam
Nothing would make me more likely to hit a PR when out for a run than seeing some random vigilante/villain/nonsense. Suddenly I’m running a 6 min mile to get home from whatever the hell Black Mask is doing tonight.
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Gothamites watch a zombie movie and just laugh.
The dead rising to walk the earth? Yeah, that just happens sometimes. Aunt Clara got her head blown up five years ago and a month after crawled out of the grave complaining about not killing the sonnova bitch back.
The zombies are shambling corpses that can't feel pain or be stopped at anything less than a headshot and they want to eat human flesh? Those are in the sewers, it's just that Killer Croc normally keeps their population in check. When he's behaving himself Arkham lets him hunt on Thursdays.
The zombies are shrieking hordes that can run at top speeds for hours and infect with a single bite? Pfft, at least they're not Manbats. Those bastards fly.
Gothamites see Red Hood bringing up his death that one time and just rolling their eyes. You're not special, my guy. Join the club. They have biweekly meetings at the library and gluten-free cookies.
I love the idea of zombies being common in Gotham but it’s pretty much a non-issue compared to everything else that’s going on. Even better if most people outside Gotham don’t know about the zombies and completely freak out when they find out. They’d just get a judgmental side eye from the Gothamites who are wondering what their problem is. Some new villain attempts to start a zombie apocalypse in Gotham and it doesn’t even end up making the evening news because like yeah, it’s Thursday. Shit happens.
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ahfrickenfrick · 2 days
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people on tiktok have started talking like they are from gotham and saying gothamtok and it’s so fucking funny
like pls if you have time look into it ppl are so hilarious with it, they started beef with metropolis already
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mylifeingotham · 14 hours
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Gotta love Alfred
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The JL think that Robin is a demoniac being
In gotham we all know robin are clones, but the JL didn't know it, and se batman with robin and genually think tha boy is a demon:
Robin existed for so long and he never gorw. So they have to be immortal.
Robin have to be a shapeshifter couse he appear in so many different way: tall, little, pale, paler, green eye, blu eye, male, female and so on.
Robin litterally died and come back. Very demoniac behavior
Batman would never put a real human child in danger
Robin always pop out of batman's coat (clarely a portal to the underworld)
They fucking laught wile punching criminal. No normal child would.
They know way to mani things for a human child.
They're not scared of batman. Ever the JL member are!
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timdrakegf · 2 days
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just a tad sick of this ‘damian wayne was a prodigy’ narrative. i think it debases his trauma and experience in the league of assassins. damian wayne was a child - he wasn’t born a weapon. he was born to be a weapon. it almost minimizes the blame of the adults around him - like he was taught because he was so excellent so young when really he was taught despite being so young. despite being a child.
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