req'd by @gods-no-longer-tread-here
good for you but how'd you pull that one??
text: Transphobes are paying for my groceries :)
642 notes
·
View notes
It would be very funny if Jurgen Leitner got his hands on the Death Note.
He'd stick his vanity bookplate on the inside cover and die immediately.
412 notes
·
View notes
Based on that one joke from TikTok. My pc is still broken and I can't write anything decent:
.
MC: Fuck… I forgot to peel my skin today.
Mammon: What?
MC: My skin, I didn't peel it today.
Asmo: Like a mask?
MC: No, just my skin.
Asmo: Solomon's never done that.
MC: It's just the girls, Solomon doesn't know shit.
Satan: You have to peel it?
MC: Once a month, just after my period.
Asmo: You're molting?
MC: Yeah, sure.
Mammon: And you didn't do it today??!
MC: Don't worry, I can do it tomorrow.
Satan: Nonsense MC, we can help you now.
MC: …no, don't worry… it's kinda taboo for girls anyway…
Asmo: Don't be silly, MC! We'd never judge you!
Satan: And it'll probably take less time if the three of us are helping you.
Mammon: That's right! C’mon MC, let's peel your skin off!
MC: …oh no.
351 notes
·
View notes
might get stabbed for this but like the edits of walker scobell make me so uncomfy like ma'am that is a child. especially when they use clips of him from percy jackson like that is a 12 year old my good lady. and before you say "oh but im the same age as him" or "oh but i'm younger than him" that's still weird dawg. he is still a kid and so are you. while you shouldn't really be sexualising yourself when you're still in middle school or whatever that's your decision. walker, however, did not choose to be sexualised, so just don't.
320 notes
·
View notes
Old Photos
When Simon and you got married,your friend had bought you a photo album to ‘fill with memories’
Now,four years later,you and Simon are flipping through the photo book after your baby girl went to bed.
“Look at ya,lovie. So stunning.” Simon smiles,pointing to a photo of you on your honeymoon.
“I used to be so pretty.” You whisper,looking down at the photo of you at the beach.
“Used to?” Simon’s eyebrows flew up,comically high. If it wasn’t for the frown on his face,you’d think he was faking offense.
When you stayed silent,he presses on. “Lovie,you’re still beautiful.”
“Baby,I’m covered in baby food and I’m disheveled. As much as I love baby girl,she’s messy.” You kiss his cheek,flipping the page.
His eyebrow’s furrowed deeper. While you see a ‘mess’,he sees the women who gave birth to his baby,the one who could make his day even better,and the one who could take all of him.
“Respectfully,lovie,shut up.” His voice growled softly in your ear,shutting the book and setting it down. “Now,let me prove how sexy I find my wife.”
299 notes
·
View notes
With episode 7 on the horizon, I'd like to share an interesting observation before I leave the house today
220 notes
·
View notes