We're Not Who We Used To Be
Warnings: angst, reference to a breakup, insecurities, mentions that reader has a tattoo, probably poor writing but whatever
Requests are CLOSED
Based off of Harry Styles' song Two Ghosts
This was originally written for my OC Madi (which will be posted on my other account @imnotobsessedwfictionalchracters later)
Love Z <3
4 years since she’d seen him last. And now here he was, barely 5 fucking feet away from her. His eyes still the shimmering sapphire blue as they were that time ago. Not that she had changed much either. She still wore the same shade of red lipstick. She still wore a simple silk white top for things like these. She even had a few more tattoos than she had before.
She silently walked over to him. “She almost didn’t put this up. I had to convince her to.” She laughed softly and took a sip of the drink when she saw him tense through her peripherals. “Surprised to see you here, Dick.” She glanced at him. “Why are you?”
“I need to talk to Donna.”
She nodded, “Superhero stuff.” She scoffed when he looked at her surprised. “I watch the news. Saw that birdboy was in Detroit.” She turned to him, “I’m not dumb, Dick.” She looked down. “Just wished that you would tell me too.”
He sighed, “I never thought you were dumb. I just don’t want you to get hurt. And I assumed that you wouldn’t want to anymore.”
She rolled her eyes, “Really? You really think that I would?”
“You told me you were done.” This time he fully looked at her, “But I guess it seems you haven’t changed. You’re still the same old Y/N Y/L/N. Always can sense when something’s wrong. And I’m the same old Dick Grayson. Refusing to admit when something is wrong.”
She wanted to agree. To nod and tell him that she was the same. But she shook her head. While they may look like they did, just older, they weren’t the same. She knew that they weren’t who they used to be. They’re just...ghosts of who they used to be.
While everyone was still getting over what had happened with Trigon. Y/N was trying to understand being in Titans Tower again. Last time was after she had been discharged from the Hospital. Her and Donna had been the ones who placed those white sheets over everything. And now here she was. Leaning over the kitchen counter, a bowl of cereal in front of her at 3 am. All because she couldn’t sleep in that damned room.
She heard the sounds of someone's feet walking towards the direction. She listened, not long as she quickly recognized them as Dick’s steps and went back to her cereal that was turning soggy. Not long until she heard his laughter. “Couldn’t sleep either?”
She shook her head, not turning to face him. “Not really.” She sighed as she realized her cereal was too soggy to eat and dropped the spoon into the bowl. “You.”
“Same.” She heard him open the fridge, “What’s your reasoning?”
She turned, “It’s weird being back here. That’s all.”
Dick, back faced to her, nodded. “Yeah. Same here.” He turned around to face her. “How was there food already here?”
She laughed, “I was expecting to have to toss out an entire fridge and pantry. But I open to see that it’s all...new.”
“Was probably Bruce.”
“Oh for sure. If not him then it was Alfred.”
Dick nodded. He had a carton of milk in his hand. But he didn’t set it down. The door to the fridge was still open behind him. She stared into his eyes. Those beautiful blue eyes that always won her over. The moonlight that was coming in through the window illuminated his face beautifully. It covered his good side (not that she was saying he had a bad side). She hadn’t realized he sat the milk behind her until he grabbed both of her hands in his and began to twist her side to side. Just like they used to.
This all felt like that. The old days. Back when things were...gods she hated to say it, simpler. Neither said a word. Mostly because neither could. Their tongues felt tied. Scared that one would say the wrong thing. Or the right thing and then the other reacts horribly. So instead Dick brought up the past. But nothing to do with their past.
“I remember when we all placed bets on when Hank and Dawn would finally fuck. And I remember you said that they already had been. That that ‘break’ they mentioned wasn’t really happening. I refused to believe you. So when they walked into the kitchen that one morning, having obviously slept together, we all thought you had to pay up. I couldn’t remember who it was that won, but someone did.”
“It was Donna.”
She nodded, “Mhm.”
“Well, Donna won. Until you started talking to Hank. And he let it slip that they had been sleeping with each other for a while. And then we had to give that money to you instead.”
She laughed, “I remember that.”
She leaned her head on his chest. And for some reason, she felt the words slipping from her mouth. “I still have your old Gotham Academy hoodie.”
He laughed, “Well it would be so nice if I could have it back.”
“Yeah, I’ll get it to ya.”
Both of them knew neither one of them were telling the truth. Yeah, she still had it, but he didn’t want it, and even if he did, she would never give it back.
They both knew that they weren’t the same as they used to be. She changed after her accident. She kept her guard up more than ever before. And he had been sure he would never be the same after what he did. Which was true. He never forgave himself for how he treated her in the end. He made a promise to himself that he wouldn’t treat any other girl the same way.
She looked up at him, seeing that he was looking down to her. And just like it happened earlier that day, she felt herself leaning into him in order to kiss. She felt his lips on hers. It still felt like a ghost of how it used to feel. As if it was two people standing in their place.
But somehow, in some way, it felt right. And it felt like, to both of them, that they could be who they were years ago.