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#Batfamily
batfam-belfry · 3 days
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Let Damian be an obnoxious little brother, please and thank you
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bruciemilf · 3 days
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As a reward for helping with a problem, John Constantine wants to give Bruce a chance to talk to his parents. “I can only do one at a time, thought, so, who’s first?”
Bruce sweats, “That won’t be necessary.”
The batkids watch like ??? they’ve seen Bruce in every state a man could succumb and raise, but they’ve never seen him scared. Alfred calmly steps forward, “Please do.”
“No. Don’t.”
John “I don’t want peace, I want trouble, always” Constantine smells some opportunity for chaos and grabs it.
The result of that is the very angry spirit of Thomas Wayne fixing Bruce with the glare of the year, “You dropped oUT OF MED SCHOOL?!” The entire mansion seems to tremble.
Bruce yelps like a scolded cat and runs around the dining table, “I was busy with BATMAN—“
“ Che cazzo è un Batman, — Get back here! You were there a year, — Che cazzo fai, CHE CAZZO FAI?! Pack your bags, you’re going back.”
To the batkids’ absolute horror Bruce starts to cry, face watery and bright, and they finally understand what Alfred meant by tantrums. “Non voglio tornare indietro, papà!”
“Non mi interessa, cazzo, — wait till your mother hears about this, Harley graduated with HONORS. What exemple are you giving to my grandkids? Don’t — Don’t run, GET BACK HERE!”
Tim sweats in high school dropout, Dick sweats in cop, Jason sweats in drug lord, Damian sweats in art kid, and Stephanie just sweats in general.
“Should, uh… Should we help?”
“Are you kidding? I haven’t seen Jason this happy since the Queen died.”
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incorrectbatfam · 1 day
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How small must the world be for both Bruce and Tim to witness John and Mary Grayson's deaths
Or for 10-year-old Duke to crack the Riddler's puzzle before Batman swoops in and saves the day, long before his powers came into play
Or for Sheila Haywood to leave her son only to end up assisting his killer a decade and a half later
Not to mention the popular fanon concept of Jason knowing baby Damian in the League of Assassins
Now imagine how many other invisible strings could've tied them together
Like what if Tim and Jason went to the same school when Jason was Robin but all they shared was the occasional bump and "excuse me" in the busy halls
Or what if Babs was a tutor and helped an elementary-aged Steph finally understand her homework only for the Browns to cancel after a couple sessions because they couldn't afford it
What if the first person to buy Cass a hot meal was Kate on one of her travels
What if Alfred witnessed young Selina shoplifting groceries but chose to turn a blind eye
What if Jason lived on the same streets as the Row siblings and gave little Harper tips on how to use tools and defend her brother
What if Steph and Duke shared the same school bus, only he sat in the front while she was toward the back
What if the first person to teach Tim how to tie his shoes was Bruce at a gala because Jack and Janet were busy talking to someone important
What if Bette did a DNA test for fun and found a connection in Nanda Parbat but just assumed the results was faulty because she knew her whole family, right?
What if 8-year-old Dick, the day before his parents died, stayed at a cheap hotel near Crime Alley and found 4-year-old Jason wandering alone and said, "I'll be your big brother for tonight"
What if the universe knew they were made for each other and wouldn't rest until they realized it too
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evaningotham · 2 days
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i need the batfam fandom to give damian the same energy we give tom hollands peter parker in fics like
i want Field Trip to Wayne Enterprises fics
fics where damian gets phone calls from his famous siblings in class
fics where damian has to deal with the other kids watching thirst traps of his older siblings
fics where he’s getting bullies and one of them shows up in full vigilante attire to scare the middle school bully
just
damian al ghul wayne fanfic that centers around his school life and protective family
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batfamgalore · 3 days
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*Dick witnesses a house get robbed and Bruce wants in on the case so Dick takes him to show him the house*
Bruce: All right, which one?
Dick: That one.
Bruce: Yeah? Well that’s a stupid house to rob.
Dick: Does anyone live up to your standards? Maybe we can get a hold of the burglar’s number. You can call. Tell him how disappointed you are.
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cosmicpoutine · 15 hours
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the timbern warmup i forgot to post. they both had a long night (bernard's apartment is probably so cute compared to tim's rat hole of a boat)
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violent138 · 2 days
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Time-warped or travel scenario where Bruce gets launched back into a younger version of himself with all the memories and the first thing he does is goes and gets Dick Grayson right after his parents' death, then pick up Jason, arrange about a million playmates to get Tim out of his house, and once he has those kids happy and taken care of, he goes off to find Cass, helps Steph with her dad, and leaves a very pointed voice-mail for Talia.
Alfred thinks he's more mentally ill than usual for knowing exactly which orphans and as he pointedly reminds Bruce, "children whose parents are still very much alive" he's trying to steal and adopt.
Bruce heatedly replies that they're his kids and that he's going to do everything right this time, rendering Alfred absolutely speechless until Bruce asks if Alfred would be able to make dinner for his new brood of kids.
"Try and remember who you're speaking to Master Bruce, I've thrown dinner parties with less notice"
"Great because I have a list of allergies and some notes on favourite foods."
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salmonchan · 3 days
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Today I offer you this. Tomorrow? Who knows
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spicy-apple-pie · 2 days
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Does this have a point? Yes. I wanted to see more soft dad Bruce and more of early Damian forced into accepting affection because he's sick.
Edit: this isn’t part of the adopted Damian au, this is canon Damian. He’s just so out of it because of the fever
Commission Info / Kofi
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stormyskyzzz · 3 days
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guys, he’s always right.
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Another iconic Alfred moment.
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frownyalfred · 21 hours
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Tim/Kon being a peak ship except every few days they realize they’re acting too much like Bruce and Clark and have to ditch the relationship until they can look at each other again without flinching.
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randoparody · 17 hours
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Me when siblings where one of them dies young and the other is doomed to live a long life
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incorrectbatfam · 3 days
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Jason Todd's guide to shoplifting:
Big chain, free reign. Locally owned, leave it alone
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ghost-bxrd · 3 days
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Just read the comic where Joker runs into Robin!Tim for the first time post Ethiopia and starts raging about “How are you back!? I killed you! I killed you! No matter, just gotta do it again then!”
And it got me thinking again about how similar Tim and Jason must have looked in costume and just—
(Look I’m not saying there was a part of Bruce that was comforted by having “Jason” close again but—-)
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ahfrickenfrick · 3 days
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bruce: i’ve decided i need a break
tim: yeah right, and i’ve decided i actually DO have a spleen, stop playing with alfred’s feelings like that :/
bruce: no, tim, i am legitimately taking a- what do you mean you don’t have a spleen?
tim: oh so NOW you listen
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