[ The Batfamily showing a witness a crime seen to see if they know anything. ]
Witness: Oh my…[ Throws up. ]
Dick: Huh? I always forget how weirdly numb to horrific things we are.
Jason: Do you think it affects our souls and the relationships we build with others?
Stephanie: Oh, for sure.
batkids side profile :>>
@/qurutoblover123 on ig
None of the batkids give a flying fuck about being Bruce’s favorite. They all want to be Dick’s favorite.
Jason: Obviously I’m the favorite he’s known me the longest I’m his little Jaybird
Tim: Does it really count if most of that time was him hating you for replacing him or you were dead?
Tim: Meanwhile he hasn’t even tried to kill me once haH
Damian: Todd and I really set the bar low for you didn’t we?
Damian: Not that it matters anyway, Grayson prefers my company 10 times more than the likes of you, I’m his baby brother tt
Cass: Likes me most
Stephanie: After you wiped the floor with him 2 weeks straight at training, no man’s ego is strong enough to survive that and not hold a grudge, even Dick’s
Stephanie: It just makes sense that I’m the favorite having to live with someone bumps them down considerably, less exposure makes the heart grow fonder
Duke: Then that can’t be right because you never seem to leave. I’m the only one not raining down doom and gloom constantly, he must find that refreshing meaning I’M the favorite
Dick: What? Oh, Barbara’s my favorite
Damian, coming home from school woth paper in hand: AKHI! AKHI! LOOK! LOOK! LOOK! LOOK! *Shows paper*
Jason, looking at the paper: What's this?
Damian: I got an A+ on my book report!
Jason: Aww, habibi. That's amazing, I'm proud of you. This is going right up the board
Duke, coming home from school: JASON! *bursts into Jason's room*
Jason: What's up?
Duke: You'll never guess what happened in school today
Jason: Tell me
Duke: In Literature class, our final semester project was to perform a play
Jason, excited: And??!?
Duke, shows paper: I GOT THE LEAD!!!!
Jason: AAAAAAAHHH!!!! *fangirling*
Duke: AAAAAAAHHH!!!! *also fangirling*
Jason: *takes paper and puts it on the board then hugs Duke* AWWW YEAAAH! CONGRATULATIONS, BUDDY!
Dick: Here you go, Jason. *Gives picture*
Jason: What's this?
Dick: Evidence. I killed someone and hid the body
Dick: It was a guy selling kids
Jason: I'll be sure to put it on the board
Tim: I just punched a guy
Tim: He was being homophobic to me and Bernard and Kon
Jason: You got a picture?
Tim: No, but I knocked out 2 teeth and put it in this small ziplock *gives ziplock with teeth*
Jason: Oooooh. Great job, Timmy. Never thought I'd be prouder of you.
robin war (2016)
a collection of Very Shaped wayne boys
bonus: with duke!
Have some cat shenanigans
"I work alone!" Batman growls.
Behind him his ten children all nod aggressively.
does gotham have night classes and how do they react to vigilantes suddenly appearing in lectures nursing wounds and solving physics problems (red robin), hating on the taming of the shrew (red hood), asking a bunch of chem questions cause they missed their ACTUAL DAY CLASSES (batgirl/spoiler)
(batman appears to collect his stray kids?)
(robin have never appeared on those classes)
(nightwing is prohibited by teachers bc he disrupts too much)
(that one kid is strangely exasperated always)
(does signal appear on day classes?)
my night classes only have stray cats. are vigilantes gotham's stray cats?
Things that the batboys have googled on the bat computer that put Bruce in therapy
Dick (age 16): do pregnancy tests work on aliens?
Jason (age 19): is Frankenstein a true story? Can you bring a dead person back to life?
Tim (age 15): how much jail time if you accidentally kill someone?
Damian (age 13): bitches in my area? [titus needed a girlfriend]
Duke (age 17): how to know if I’m immortal?
Cassandra (age 20): fire
He drinks the most rancid protein drinks known to man.
[ The Batfamily dragging the Superfamily to a Gotham comedy show. ]
Comedian: My boyfriend is from Metropolis and he’s here in town with me. I don’t think he understands Gotham. Yesterday, we were on our way to get lunch when he wanted to stop and help some guys load their moving fan. And when the moving fan drove away, who should show up but the owners of an apartment we had just helped some guys rob.
Comedian: And that one was hard to explain to the police.
Goon: *fighting Signal*
Signal: Wait stop.
Goon: *stops* what? Why would i-
Signal: *checks watch* Eight fifty six- Eight fifty SEVEN!. It's OFFICIALLY dark, and the 'Day Time' protector of Gotham is now off. You're not my problem anymore. Have a good night!
BlackBat: *swings out of nowhere and attacks Goon*
Signal: *through coms* night!
Other bats: Night Signal
Tim: I’m changing my code name. No more Red Robin
Damian: Please tell me you aren’t going back to “Drake”
Tim: No! My new name will be…Panic
Tim: Yeah! Think about it! I beat up a bad guy and I can call out all my moves. “Take this! Panic attack!”
Tim: OR we have to fight someone at a disco club and as soon as I get there BAM! Panic at the Disco!
Duke: ok I hate that I’m joining in, buuuuttt, you can make buttons with yourself on them…
Tim and Jason at the same time: Panic Button!
I’ve been reading nothing but Nightwing angst the past week. Those fics that have Dick crumbling under the weight of his eldest daughter syndrome and then the rest of the family has to take care of him *chefs kiss*