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wh00pzz · 3 months

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Caseoh Quote Headcanons SFW:

~~~All Genders~~~

•”You know I love you, right?”

•”Just makin sure” *mwa*

•”Hmm.. betcha love me more than kitty though”

•”WHATCHU MEAN NO???!”

•”Yo im boutta start cooking its time to get locked in.”

•”Yeah i could teach ya to get as ripped as me”

•”WHAT DO YOU MEAN IM SHAPED LIKE A TEDDY BEAR?!”

•”You tryna get some mickey dees?”

• “Man get outta heree” *playfully pushes away*

~~~

Ty for reading! This one was on the shorter sode, but i love making quote headcanons (especially nsfw) so i’ll prolly make more! I’ll prolly post the nsfw ones too if enough people want me to :)

#caseoh x reader #caseoh #x reader #quotes #quote #headcanons #headcanon #caseoh headcanons #quote headcanons #quote headcanon #sfw #safe for work #fanfiction

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batfamilycannons · 2 months

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Bruce *storming in, burnt and covered in ash*: Where is your brother?

Damian and Tim: tf??

Tim: uh I think Jason’s in the library?

Bruce: no not him the other one

Dick, *scurries past the door*

Bruce: RICHARD JOHN GRAYSON why did you set my bed on fire

Dick: You deserve it!!

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eternalslover · 6 months

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Bullet train incorrect quotes:

Tangerine: Do you want to play 20 Questions?

Y/n: Sure!

Y/n: Whats your favorite color?

Tangerine, laser fucking focused: Triangle. Do you love me?

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vodrae · 4 months

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Villain swaps Bruce and Clark minds.

Bruce: I get the "man of steel" now. *Punches villain*

Clark: Why...Why...WHY ARE YOU SO MUCH IN PAIN ?!

Bruce: What do you mean ? I took a 12 hours break yesterday, I'm as fresh as a newborn.

#batman #batfamily #batfam #dc comics #dc #dcu #bruce wayne #superbat #clark ken #superman #justice league headcanon #justice league #batman incorrect quotes #superman incorrect quotes #batman headcanon

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firerose18991 · 6 months

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Literally anyone meeting bruce and his family for the first time: So how did you get so many kids by 30?

Dick: HE WAS A TEENAGE DELINQUENT

Jason: *shouting over him* HE LEFT MY MOTHER AT THE ALTAR

*tim is sitting, just happy to be included*

Bruce: BE-quiet. They're ADOPTED!

Jason: *not a beat missed* Because he’s never known the touch of a woman.

#Enough on Tim #let's talk about why Bruce doesn't age #bro has three adult children 10 years younger than him #and HE WAS A HIGHSCHOOL DELINQUENT #bruce wayne #batfam headcanons #batsiblings #batboys #batkids #batdad #incorrect batfamily quotes #nightwing #red hood #tim drake #damian wayne #batman #justice league #chaos shit #with love my loves

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nightwolf14292 · 14 days

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I like to imagine that if any of the Bat-Kids are out in public, whether they be getting food, shopping, patrolling, just walkin' around, whatever, that if they see the Bat-Signal pop on it's an unspoken rule between the siblings that they have to throw on their costume and try and find/deal with the trouble before Bruce gets there. Just to annoy him.

Batman: "Commissioner Gordon! I got here as fast as I could.. What's the situation?"

Commissioner Gordon: "Oh, Batman, thank you for coming.. It's alright, though, it's already been taken care of by these fellows."

*Gestures to the side where there's a couple of muggers sitting tied up next to Nightwing(He has pink, glittery shopping bags hanging all over his arms), Red Hood(He's rummaging through the bags Nightwing is holding, trying to find the black nail polish he just bought to touch up his nails after the fight), Red Robin(He's sipping a cup of coffee that he accidentally stole because he ran out of the cafe so quickly that he forgot to pay), and Robin(He's chowing down on a kids' meal from Bat-Burger)*

Batman: ...

Batman: *Subtle annoyed glare*

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that-bitch-kat3 · 7 months

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walburga: you’re not good enough for my son

remus: you’re not good enough for your son

walburga: excuse me?

remus: you heard me.

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witchthewriter · 1 month

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Gaz: I sleep with a knife under my pillow.

Soap: Weak. I sleep with a gun.

Y/N: You’re both pathetic

Soap: What do YOU sleep with?

Y/N: Simon.

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cardinalcheerio · 2 months

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I imagine that the Batkids go out for food every once in a while.

So there they are all sitting at the restaurant, when dick goes to pay and accidentally uses one of Bruce's cards.

They get back to the cave to bruce freaking out, everyone is like "IDENTITY BREACH AHHHHH" y'know.

And the next day a paper comes out, "Bats steal Brucies Credit Card!"

From then on they use Bruce's cards for snacks in the field and gotham just accepts that

1. Bruce funds the Bats

2. They take it from him

3. Bruce and Batman dated and Batman stole his credit cards and gave them to his kids.

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file808 · 2 months

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I have a head cannon that non of the batboys favorite superhero is batman, but they don't know that he isn't Tim and Damians favorite.

---‐----------------------------------------------------

Jason or the most loyal Wonder Woman fan: Dick I can't believe that you're a Superman fan

Dick an superman fan: Hey at least I'm better than him. *Points to Damian*

Damian: Tt I'll have you know that I'm an avid fan of Black Canary. Father is not my favorite hero unlike somebody. *Glares at Tim*

Tim: You know that Batman's not my favorite hero right?

Dick genuinely shocked: WAIT WHAT!?!?

Jason: Yah Tim, Damian makes sense but you??? You have been such a Batman fan sense the beginning.

Tim: Like a year after becoming Robin Batman stopped being my favorite. Why is this such a surprise?

Damian: So Drake who's your favorite now?

Tim: Green Lantern!

Dick: Which one? There's a whole Corp of them.

Tim: ...

Jason: Tim...which one??

Tim:*Sigh* Hal Jordan.

Bruce in the distance: REALLY HAL JORDAN?!!!?!!

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superbat-love · 3 months

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Clark: [stares at Ace] Is that what I think it is?

Bruce: Oh, that’s Chewperman, Ace’s favorite chew toy.

Clark: You let Ace chew on a mini me?

Bruce: That’s what it’s made for. If it makes you feel bad, I’ll make one for Krypto too. He’ll love it, right boy?

Ace: Woof.

The following week at the Fortress of Solitude…

Bruce: Why is this toy kept behind a glass casing? It’s meant for Krypto. [takes it out of the casing and tosses it to Krypto] Here boy!

Krypto: [happily chomps on the Batman chew toy]

Clark: Noooo! Don’t! Krypto, let go of Batsqueak!

Bruce: Batsqueak?

Clark: It just feels wrong, Bruce! I can’t bear to let any harm come to Batsqueak. He should be kept safe in his ice cave, not mauled by giant fangs.

Bruce: …

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thedevilundercover · 3 months

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Tim Drake de-aging fic but everyone is just kind blown how that little monster is the Timothy Jackson Drake that they know.

He’s not even a gremlin, he’s just mean and knows a little too much about stuff than the usual rich brat.

Damian: tsk, you’re such a disgrace the Wayne name.

Tiny!Tim: yeah? And your mother should have swallowed, but we’re both here aren’t we?

or

Jason, thinking he could bully smol Timmy: you stopped so low that you replaced a dead boy! *emo edge lord noises*

Baby!Tim, having learned new slang words via duke and Steph who think this whole thing is hilarious: have you ever thought about just getting better?

Jason: ex-fucking-cuse me?

Tim, shrugging: dying really is just a skill issue ngl

it would be even more funny if he was like this only to Damian and Jason so everyone thinks Tim is such a smart, adorable little boy but the two of them are screaming at Dick and Bruce to get that fucking demonic child exorcised

#tim drake #He deserves to be a little asshole #De-aged Tim drake #kid tim drake #unhinged tim drake #Damian Wayne #jason todd #bruce wayne #dick grayson #red robin #batfam #tim drake is a menace #tim drake headcanon #incorrect dc quotes #stephanie brown #duke thomas

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eternalslover · 6 months

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Bullet train incorrect quotes:

Y/n: Hey I’m about to get in the shower. You wanna join me?

Tangerine: There’s a pistol taped underneath the island in the kitchen. If I ever say no to that question, I want you to shoot me. Aim for the head, don’t stop until I’m dead.

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batfamilycannons · 4 months

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Dick*the eldest daughter reaching a breaking point and it was this or manslaughter*: Due to my emotional trauma, I have decided I will be reverting back to my childhood Goblin lifestyle

Jason*always one for chaos*: Good for you

Bruce*traumatized from the first time not sure if he can survive a pt.2*: oh no

Tim*never left his Menace Lifestyle and is very exited to help cause more problems*: yay!

Bruce*even more scared*: oh no

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that-nerd-who-writes-fanfiction · 3 months

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Remember that one time Merlin called Arthur a toad then said magic was outlawed so he’d never turn into a handsome prince?

What if he kept doing that casually, as his way of showing Arthur magic can be useful.

For example:

Arthur: do you ever wish there was a way to start fires without needing to gather firewood?

Merlin: there is. Your father outlawed it.

Arthur: there must’ve been a reason. Fire can be dangerous if it gets out of control.

—

And he tries to defend it, but it doesn’t hold up and over time Arthur starts just making sarcastic comments instead of actual defenses

—

Arthur: torches are so inconvenient. We need a better way to make light that can keep hands free for swords or other weapons.

Merlin: Magic, but it’s illegal so you’re stuck with carrying a torch.

Arthur: last time I needed light because you were dying it wasn’t evil.

Merlin: well, it’s unfortunate that you don’t know how to use magic then, sire.

—

Until he just can’t defend it

—

Arthur: six weeks?! I can’t miss six weeks of training for a broken foot! Is there some way to speed it up? Or just… fix it now?

Gaius: I don’t think-

Merlin: yes.

Gaius, who knows Merlin’s plan: *sigh*

Arthur: Thank god. Do it then.

Merlin: No. It’ll land us all on the pyre and I’m quite fond of, y’know, breathing, so suck it up.

Arthur: why is that kind of magic illegal? Surely healing isn’t evil.

Gaius: what you ask is treason, sire. Please be cautious.

Arthur: …

—

Merlin: who knows? Maybe all the bandits will decide to magically take a day off so you can go hunting without being hunted.

A few hours later, being chased through the woods by bandits:

Arthur: non magic sucks!

Merlin: yep. You can always repeal the ban once you’re king!

Arthur: huh… you know, I think I will.

Merlin: great, pardon my treason then. *magically knocks out the bandits and summons their horses and Arthur’s weapons back*

Arthur: THIS WHOLE TIME?!

Merlin: yep.

Arthur: …

Arthur: I can’t believe that worked.

Merlin: me neither, to be honest, sire.

—

Then they both laugh about it and Arthur repeals the ban, magic is free, Morgana is never evil, Agravaine doesn’t exist, and Mordred comes back to Camelot and gets therapy.

#bbc merlin #arthur pendragon #merlin emrys #merlin #merthur #incorrect merlin quotes #headcanon #i’m bad at tagging #gaius merlin

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sanjisblackasswife · 4 months

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Toji’s Body Irl:

Bonus, this is Toji’s body in his late 40s/early 50s😚:

#TimikosToji #Toji having a quote on quote dad bod after the years go by but still so athletic is canon to me #hypothetically if he remarried into a healthy marriage and his wife made him sane again he definitely gained happy weight #toji #toji fushiguro #jjk toji #toji headcanons #toji zenin #jujutsu toji #jujutsu kaisen toji #dilf toji #jjk #jjk headcanons #jujutsu kaisen

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