@wolfstarmicrofic November 25th - Sleepover
featuring Remus as the casanova we all know him to be.
Remus, althought introverted, hadn't been exactly secluded during his adolescence.
That's okay, though – it was water under the bridge. He was now on his third year of university, and there was no one to judge him on his dating history present in his day-to-day life anymore. No one knew, nor they had to.
Except there is people who do know. People from his past – or, rather, people from his hometown.
Remus hadn't considered that when bringing his boyfriend home for the holidays.
Sirius Black – his current boyfriend – is absolutely perfect. He is everything, all at once. Remus had never quite felt about any of the others as he does Sirius.
Not only is he absolutely gorgeous – most definitely the hottest person Remus has ever been with (and that's a long list) – he is also the most caring, free-spirited, autentic and fucking incredible person too. Sirius Black is the whole package.
And, very likely, he is it for Remus.
Since getting with him almost a year ago, Remus can't really see himself with anyone else ever again – and that's saying a lot for him. They fit together like they were made for the other, and it is fucking fantastic being with him.
So that's precisely the reason why Remus, for the very first time, is bringing someone home.
And that would've been perfect too, considering Sirius got along perfectly with both his parents ever since they had arrived a couple days ago.
Except there was a snowstorm that had locked everyone inside the supermarket on Christmas Eve, and every single person Remus had ever known had decided to do their shopping at the exact same time as him.
And now Remus and Sirius are stuck in a supermarket, for God knows how long, with at least half dozen of Remus' past relationships present, and Remus can't think of a worse scenario.
The first one that approached him is one of the better ones – James Potter. He had been Remus first boyfriend, and the one that ended more amicably of them all.
They were even somewhat friends, still. So it definitely could have been worse.
James introduced himself to Sirius as Remus' old friend, which wasn't a lie, and the three of them had been making small talk for about half an hour – James and Sirius had immediately hit it off – when the second ex appeared.
Taking into account the way James started profusely giggling and eyeing Remus, Sirius watching them with curious eyes, Remus was sure it would be bad.
And he was correct.
That one was one of the last ones before Remus moved to Uni, and it had been an absolute shitshow.
Why, you ask? Well, that would be because Fabian had been madly in love with him while Remus had thought they were absolutely casual, which resulted in Fabian quite literally burning the pieces of clothing Remus had left at his house.
Oh, and he hooked up with his twin brother, Gideon, afterwards too – which most definitely didn't help.
Fabian approached the three of them with a puffed chest and a harsh stare, and Remus' hand started sweating under Sirius' grip.
"Remus," he stated, staring blankly at the taller boy with a posture way too perfect to look natural, "You're back."
"Only for the holidays," Remus cleaned his throat harshly, trying to show his uncomfort.
Fabian ignored him, turning to look at Sirius by his side, who still held Remus hand, "And who's this?"
Remus answers for him, "He's my boyfriend, Sirius," he turns to look at his beautiful boyfriend, immediately calming his nerves, "Sirius, that's Fabian."
"Is that the petty one, with the clothes?" Sirius whispered loudly enough for Fabian to hear, leaning way closer to Remus ear than necessary – because Sirius liked provoking (which is yet another thing that makes Remus crazy about him).
Fabian widened his eyes, clenched his teeth, turned right on his heels and left – without saying a single word. Remus was suddenly glad he had at least briefed Sirius on his exes, even though the conversation had been so awkward it was painful.
James giggled loudly behind his hand.
Sirius rolled his eyes dramatically, pecked Remus lips possessively, and then countinued talking as if it hadn't happened.
Remus wanted to run away and hide, but there was nowhere to fucking go, so he moved on too.
The next instance happened around the time the supermarket would originally close if it weren't for all the people locked inside it.
It was considerably less bad, but definitely more awkward.
This time, they came in a pair.
Remus' ex from 11th grade, which he dated a solid month, and Remus' other ex directly after Fabian, that lasted around two weeks, approached the three of them together.
Emmeline Vance and Benjy Fenwick.
"Remus, oh my god how long has it been since I last saw you!" Emmaline greeted him excitedly, hugging his side. Benjy – the one that lasted longer – simply nodded from behind her back.
James was giggling again, and Remus faintly heard Sirius whispering to him 'Is her another one?'. And James, as discreet as the fucking Eiffel Tower, answered in full volume, "They both are."
Both Emmaline and Benjy turned to look at them, and Remus wanted to dig his grave and die.
Remus, trying to dismiss this whole situation, gently touched her shoulder to get her attention back and smiled sympathetically, "It's been a while. You look great, Em," and then, feeling awkward about ignoring Benjy, he looked behind her back and smiled at him too, "You too, Ben."
"You look great yourself!" She said amicably, smiling back and turning on her side to look at Benjy, "Did you know Ben and I are engaged?"
Remus widened his eyes, because of course he didn't know, but before he could answer – and because the universe hated him – another person was approching their group.
And if Fabian was nasty, he didn't come close to what was Lucius Malfoy.
Remus had absolutely no idea what he had in his mind when he fucking dated Lucius – for four months, no less.
They both absolutely despised one another, the sex was utter shit and they spent half the relationship with their contacts blocked on each other's phones because they were constantly in a fight.
Why Lucius was willingly approaching them, Remus had no fucking clue.
Lucius awkardly stood on the open space of the somewhat circle they were on, and James flat out laughed. Like, belly laughed.
Sirius was possessively pulling Remus' arm around his waist, Benjy and Emmaline were clearly as uncomfortable with Lucius presence as he was with theirs, and Remus was regretting all the life choices he had ever made.
James unable to stop laughing might have been the only thing that made the whole thing bearable, but only because it made the conversation end quickly because hid annoying snorts kept interrupting all of them.
Two hours later costumers were already scattered all over the ground taking naps, and the lights of the supermarket had been dimmed lower for people to sleep.
James, Sirius and Remus were seating together on the ground – Sirius seating comfortably on Remus lap, who had his back on the shelf opposite of James.
And then, as if fucking possible, another fucking ex appeared out of the blue.
He stopped dead on his feet on the hallway the moment he spotted Remus, widened his eyes, turned on his heels and walked the other way – or, rather, ran.
This time, James and Sirius both got into a fit of laughter that lasted way longer than it should, and Remus couldn't help but feel simultaneously relieved and offended that Caradoc didn't stop by.
They hadn't even ended badly – in fact, Remus wasn't even sure they had actually dated. It lasted, like, four days tops, so it couldn't have been that bad, could it?
And directly after this, Mary Macdonald spotted him all the way over the next aisle, running their way and hugging him excitedly over Sirius' body still in his lap.
Mary was probably the only good relationship Remus had on his last year of secondary, and it showed. They were still friends, probably even closer than him and James, and Mary was one of the few aware of Sirius' existance before this instance.
She wasn't exactly invited to stay, but she did so anyways, throwing herself on the ground beside James and talking way too animatedly for one in the morning.
Remus couldn't even complain, because Mary was a treat. And it helped that Sirius immediately liked her.
A couple hours later, James was snoring loudly on the left side of the aisle, Mary was watching a show on her phone screen by his side, and Remus and Sirius were full on cuddling in front of them – Sirius fast asleep.
Remus was drifting in and out of consciousness, and he couldn't help but let his mind wonder.
There he was, laying down on a cold floor of the local supermarket of his hometown, the love of his life under his arms, two of his exes not one meter away from him, and a bunch of other ones scattered all around the very same building he was, snowstorm keeping everyone inside.
Remus Lupin was having a fucking sleepover with his exes and his lover – and if that wasn't a metaphor for his life, he doesn't know what is.
Sirius:*at the girl's gossip night* So I was lying in my bed talking to Remus the other day and I go,'Hey Moony, put a new record on' and he says 'Do it yourself' and I say, 'But you're closer' and he just looks at me for a good 30 seconds and then says, 'Pads you're a wizard. USE YOUR WAND'
Marlene: Merlin Sirius you are stupid.
Lily: Christ we can't take you anywh- wait a second.
Lily: I've been in your dorm before. Remus's bed is on the other side of the record player. It is literally on your nightstand. How was he possibly closer to it than you?
Sirius: Oh. He was on pete's bed.
Mary: No, Pete's bed is the furthest bed away from yours, even further than Remus's.
Sirius: Oh wait no, he was sitting at the desk.
Mary: All the rooms are laid out the same, THE DESKS ARE AT THE OTHER END OF THE ROOM.
Marlene: The only way Remus would have been closer is if you two were sharing a bed.
Sirius: What! No!! What makes you think that??
Mary: Just that all the evidence points to it.
Peter:*just walking in* What does all the evidence point to?
Lily: Sirius and Remus sharing a bed.
Peter: Pffft that's old news. You know what's the biggest piece of gossip I know. Prongs just snuck Regulus Black into the dorm and locked the door.
Sirius: HE DID WHAT!??!!??!!? JAMES FLEAMONT POTTER I'M COMMING TO HUNT YOU DOWN.