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stormy-skyzzzzzz · 3 days

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Alfred being concerned about Bruce’s sanity…

This panel give me life. Alfred is so real. Batman is so silly. They are adorable.

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crybabycunt · 3 days

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Natasha: Okay, one more time. You said you asked the Team if they wanted pizza. Yelena: Yes. Natasha: And they said no? Yelena: Also, yes. Natasha: And then Clint came down and took a slice of it, to which you- Yelena: Took my fucking pizza back from that asshole and told him to make his own damn dinner. Natasha: But when Kate asked for some- Yelena: (throws her hands in the air) Yelena: What did you expect me to do, let her fucking STARVE?!

#yelena belova #kate bishop #bishova #bishlova #hawkeye #black widow #incorrect quotes #incorrect marvel quotes #marvel incorrect quotes #funny #crack #bishova incorrect quotes #bishlova incorrect quotes #yelena belova incorrect quotes #kate bishop incorrect quotes

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raileurta · 3 days

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Testing something

*after dealing with a mission*

Green lantern: Spooky with the 50 kids you have ᵗʰᵃᵗ ʸᵒᵘ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ᵃᵖᵖᵃʳᵉⁿᵗˡʸ ᵍᶦᵛᵉⁿ ᵇᶦʳᵗʰ ᵗᵒᵒ and your batgadgets how can you afford all of it?

Batman decides to mess with Hal again

Batman: Bruce Wayne sponsors me and in exchange I provide sexual favors.

Batman: How were you not aware of this? It is common knowledge.

Green lantern: NOW I KNOW YOU GOT TO BE FUCKING WITH ME!!!!!

Batman: Lantern lower your voice you are causing a commotio-

Green lantern: I WILL NOT- I UGh. (This is some serious horse shit)

Green lantern : Ain't no way Brucie motherfucking Wayne is your sugar daddy.

*Batman pulls out a collar written in gold "bruce's batty boy" and shows it to lantern*

Batman: I am not deceiving you Green lantern. I now must go Gotham needs me. *Dramatic cape flip and disappearance*

Bruce had that collar in his pockets for three months.

#Batman has constant beef with green lantern #bruce is a troll #hal is having a mental breakdown #bruce wayne #green lantern #hal jordan #batman prompt #the batfam are all in on this prank #batfam #batfamily #batman #dc #crack #fic ideas #this is a sorta a sequel to my other bruce troll post

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vildo · 22 hours

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I’m obsessed with this

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sterekorgtfo · 1 day

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Hen: Hey Buck! How are things with Tommy going?

Buck: Mostly good, but we’re running into some issues since I’m so new to being bi. :/

Hen: Well, there’s likely to be some adjustments that need to be made on both sides. What specifically is happening?

Buck: I’m just really trying to embrace my culture-

Hen (mid sentence) 🤨 (bombastic side-eye) 🤨

Buck (cont): -but he isn’t letting me say words like:

Buck: Wig, tea, slay, yaaass, boots the house down mama, werk, kween, sashay, or bussy.

Hen: 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨

Buck: It’s like he doesn’t even want me to serve cunt.

Hen: Let me stop you right here….

#bucktommy #tommy kinard #evan buckley #hen wilson #incorrect 911 quotes #crack #crack post #evan buck buckley #buck buckley #shit post #this is not to be taken seriously

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incorrectbatfam · 3 days

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What kinds of things was Luke doing that he had too many tassels for his broad ass shoulders and massive traps?

And which ones did he use as a belt?

Honor roll. Valedictorian. Robotics. Chess. Journalism. Marching band. Student government. Research. MMA champion. Assistant teaching. Campus activism. Volunteering. Fundraising. Running a marathon. Orienting freshmen. Being an RA. Coaching. Homecoming king. Implementing new lab safety protocols. Being the designated driver. Writing a book. Giving a TED Talk. Creating a scholarship. Curing a disease. Inventing a nanoparticle. Solving an impossible equation. Discovering a new species.

And the one that's his belt was for designing belts.

#see previous posts #luke fox #batwing #batman #batfamily #batfam #batboys #batbros #batkids #batsiblings #batman family #dc comics #headcanon #crack #batposting #shitpost

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marvelmaniac715 · 8 hours

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Twisted - Hatchetfield Edition:

Wilbur Cross/Wiley: My Lord shall now speak, in his holy voice.

Wiggly after a long period of silence: Many years ago, I took my finger, and I pushed in my penis… and it hasn’t come out since.

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Ted: What’s that name, everyone?

His coworkers trying to hype him up: GOAT FUCKER!

Ted: NO!

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Webby immediately after being banished to the White: Phenomenal cosmic powers… shitty, shitty living space…

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iamnmbr3 · 16 hours

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Plot twist: Voldemort started using Occlumency to block his connection to Harry in book 6 because he got tired of constantly hearing Harry's thoughts about Draco's sparkling light grey eyes and sleek blond hair.

#humor #crack #Voldemort #drarry #Harry Potter #random musings

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agusrkive · 1 day

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Infini-Three!?!?

so after a bunch of watching romcom movies, i kinda have this writing prompt in my head where satoru and suguru are like high school sweethearts and just like any other relationship— shit happens, they broke up. Satoru got so heartbroken, especially just 3 weeks after ending their 2 year relationship, he finds Suguru with a girl (you).

He couldn’t accept it, he still thinks that hes the one for Suguru and that you’re nothing but a cheap rebound who doesn’t deserve his bestfriend. He then gets this fucked up idea in his silly brain that has the gears in his head turning.

Gojo Satoru, best friend and ex lover of Geto Suguru plans to get his lover back by making the new lover of his bestfriend (you) fall in love with him in hopes of getting you and suguru to break up, then he gets his man back. End of story!

But fate has a funny way of being cruel, what Satoru didn’t expect is that he would actually fall for you instead of getting his lover back, which is the opposite of his actual plan.

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bra1nrotsilly · 2 days

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``𝘊𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘯! 𝘓𝘦𝘵'𝘴 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘳𝘰𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘹ˊˊ

Gojo satoru x F!reader

Category : Fluff, crack

This fic is not the original AU but the real world au where everyone is a normal human being, with just different mindsets ofc (I made this au up so the fic will make more sense) it's crack since it is very funny and unhinged that is my version of gojo, just full off fun vibes!!

Warnings:Nothing!

As you and gojo were on your phones, gojo suddenly gripped your shoulders and turned you around to face him, "Gojo what the hell?! You scared the living hell out of me!" You said as you stared shocked at gojo "CAN WE PLEASE PLEASE PLAY DA HOOD????? GETO SAID HE CAN'T CAUSE HE'S BUSY RIGHT NOW:(" gojo yelled, well, said at you "okay okay, and don't scream in my ear will you?! Your screaming so loud, the whole neighborhood could wake up.. " "hey! I heard that you know! "

After agreeing to gojo into playing da hood, he gave you like 5k just because he wanted you to match with him, you brought what he wanted to match with, and you guys joined each other.

< in the roblox chat >

[gojosatoru]:NAME?! WHERE ARE YIU

[name]:JEEZ I'M TRYING TO FIND YOU JUST WAIT YOU LITTLE BABY;-;

[gojosatoru]:I'M NOT A BABY

[name]:YOUARE1! 1! 1! 1

After looking all over the place, you finally saw a white haired avatar with the user "gojosatoru" on top, you shot him so you can get his attention, well it did, and he accidentally shot you too, well not accidentally when you shot him first.

[gojosatoru]:OMG NAME. ARE YOU OKAY I'M SORRY 🙏

[name]:bro don't be sorry I was the one who shot you dawg💀

[gojosatoru]:oh!

Gojo picked you and ran to a gun shop and threw you to he can unpick you up, you brought some more bullets and guns, and you guys were ready to bully some dahoodians!- I mean, kill some people.

[gojosatoru]:LOOK IT'S EKITTENS AND A EBOY

[name]:LET'S GO GET EM1! 1! 2! 2! 2! 1! 1! 1!

As you and gojo shot them, more ekittens came, but you shot the incoming ekittens, and you and gojo stomped them.

[gojosatoru]:YOU DID GREAT POOKIE

[name]:ugh I know🤭

The n you guys kept playing, and playing, untill it was 6pm, you remembered that you should go home now since it's 6pm and you still to sleep for work tomorrow,so you get up and tell gojo "Gojo, let's stop playing now, it's 6 pm now" you said to gojo, leaving da hood, gojo nodded and got up, and stretched his black, "can I get a kiss before you go?? :3" gojo said to you, you responded with a laugh and kissed his lips, and said "okay I'm going now, byeee"

"Byeeee y/nnn see you later in the morning love" gojo said to you, as you left his house, you guys lived far, but not that far from each other, but it was still alright, after you got to your house, you showered, and brushed your teeth, after brushing your teeth, you picked up your phone to see a text from gojo saying "can we play da hood again when your break is here again🙏" you chuckled seeing that text, you texted him back saying "yeah yeah" you closed your phone and went to your bedroom, and closed your door, and picked some clothes to wear to bed, and you went to your bed, then you slept.

#ճɾαí́ղɾօԵ ^^ ☆ ~ 𝖿іᥴsツ *#jjk #gojo #gojo x reader #crack #sfw #jjk x reader #soft

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oldinterneticons · 1 day

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I Heart Crack

#crack #drugs

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trentlassos · 1 day

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#ted lasso #trent crimm #tedtrent #ted x trent #tedependent #meme #crack #my post #the strings that bind us #bi ted lasso #bi!ted

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crybabycunt · 3 days

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(Yelena has shoved her against a wall)

Kate: Smash.

Yelena: I... I am about to kill you.

Kate: ... smash.

#bishova #bishlova #yelena belova #kate bishop #hawkeye #black widow #incorrect quotes #incorrect marvel quotes #marvel incorrect quotes #funny #crack #bishova incorrect quotes #bishlova incorrect quotes #yelena belova incorrect quotes #kate bishop incorrect quotes #source: dialogue prompt

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lurafita · 2 days

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Shadowhunter/Downworlder teamwork to not have to suffer their leader's bad mood

Alec gets sassier and saltier the longer he and Magnus get cockblocked. At some point, his subordinates just can't take it anymore, and countermeasures need to be implemented.

Both Alec and Magnus have important positions and are often called upon to deal with various things. So when the NY shadowhunters know that their boss is on a date with the high warlock, and something popps up, they do their level best to handle the situation quickly.

And if they need to establish better relations with the Downworld in order to get the help of another warlock for something just so they don’t have to call Magnus away from Alec, then that is damn well what they do.

New York shadowhunter/downworlder alliance as a byproduct of people not wanting to deal with their leaders when they haven't been laid enough.

"You think Lightwood gets bad? Magnus pouts. It's a lot more disturbing than you think! And he keeps sighing forlornly. And then he tries to distract himself by getting into everyone's business or inventing new things. Do you know how some things sound like good ideas at first, and then turn out to be horribly annoying? It's that 24 fucking 7 every time the High Warlock doesn't get to see his boyfriend enough."

#magnus bane #alec lightwood #malec #shadowhunters tv #malec headcanons #crack #malec are not happy campers when seperated too much #the people in their territory form an alliance to prevent as much as possible #at some point it just becomes self defense

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vildo · 22 hours

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Situationship

#iwtv #amc iwtv #armand #daniel #interview with the vampire #iwtv s2 #iwtv season 2 #lestat de lioncourt #louis de pointe du lac #situationships #i’m loving everything already #vampire chronicles #vc #amc interview with the vampire #tumblr trash #shitpost #video #crack

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sekhmetpaws · 2 days

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Theseus and the minotaur SVSSS!AU where Shen Yuan just cannot fantom the idea of killing Binghe because he is just a victim of society and could totally be fixed if he had a parent figure to take care of him in the labyrinth.

#crack #shitpost #svsss #au #bingqiu #minotaur #greek mythology

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