Tumpik
#marvel incorrect quotes
incorrectquotesmcu · 2 days ago
Text
Bucky: What’s the worst thing you guys have ever done? Mine’s probably being turned into an assassin.
Natasha: Murder. Like a lot.
Thor: Left my sister while my home was destroyed.
Steve: Became a fugitive of the government.
Tony: Accidentally sold weapons to a terrorist.
Peter: One time I illegally downloaded the Baby Shark song online.
443 notes · View notes
kram6496 · 2 days ago
Text
Y/N sets Wanda down in their bed, Wanda giggles…
Y/N: baby I think you had too much to drink tonight.
Wanda: maybe but I had fun
Y/N: I’m glad you did
Wanda locks the door with her magic…
Wanda: can we have a little after party? Just you and me?
Y/N gets right into bed with Wanda and begins kissing her…
Tumblr media
379 notes · View notes
Text
Scarlet Witch: Kneel before me
Y/n:….
Nat: Don’t you dare
Y/n: But-
Steve: No!
Scarlet Witch tilts her head
Y/n falls to their knees
Nat: She’s trying to kill us!
Y/n: Yeah well she can kill me stand on me whatever she wants look at her!
Scarlet Witch: I think I’ll keep you for myself malysh
Y/n: Yes ma’am
Nat: alright well enjoy your new home I’m taking your room and all your secret snacks
Y/n: That’s fine I have a whole 5 course meal in front of me and I'm hungry
Tony: Why are you so horny??? Who gave you oysters?
Y/n: You know I don't like seafood
Scarlet Witch: I'm bored of this nonsense, come with me little one
Y/n: Bye guys I'll call you at Christmas! *Leaves with Scarlet*
Nat: What do I tell her family?!
Tony: She died in battle
Nat: Pretty morbid Tony
Steve shrugs: She made her choice
(Is this not what we'd all do in this situation?)
340 notes · View notes
wandas6-gf · 16 hours ago
Text
Y/N: I accidentally ate Thor’s pop tarts, how long do you think I have to live?
Natasha: Ten.
Y/N: Ten what?
Natasha: Nine.
195 notes · View notes
firegal19 · a day ago
Text
Y/n: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds
Bucky: FORTY-FIVE SECONDS?!
Y/n: NO! Four TO five seconds!
Bucky already tackling her: Too late doll
104 notes · View notes
mamaspidershit · a day ago
Text
Natasha: Please say words of encouragement to me so I don’t murder someone right now.
Peter: There are no cookies in prison.
Natasha: *sighs* Thank you.
99 notes · View notes
marvelflame2010 · 11 hours ago
Text
Y/n: *in her lab working on Bucky's arm*
Y/n: Bucky I need the-
Bucky: *passes a screwdriver*
Y/n: Oh, and a-
Bucky: *passes a spare plate*
Y/n: Marry me?
Bucky: Took care of that too, we've been married for the past 7 months
Y/n: Excellent *kisses Bucky*
43 notes · View notes
chaotictasha · a day ago
Text
Incorrect quotes#121
Tony : Two brooooos!
Steve: Chillin' in a hot tub!
Tony : Five feet apart 'cause we're not gay!
Steve:...
Tony : *blinks*
Steve: *starts tearing up*
Tony : Babe, c'mon...
Steve: AND HERE YOU REALLY HAD ME THINKING WE HAD SOMETHING.
Tony : Babe..
52 notes · View notes
i-am-iron-man-3000 · a day ago
Text
Kate:What the hell were you thinking? Yelena: I heard releasing birds at a wedding is romantic! Kate:You released OSTRICHES!
43 notes · View notes
angelofthenight · 6 months ago
Text
You: *on the phone* Wong? I need your help! I-
Wong: is the Sanctum on fire?
You: …no?
Wong: then it’s not an emergency *hangs up*
Wanda: well? what did he say? what do we do about the portal to hell in the living room?
You: apparently it’s not an emergency
Stephen: *being strangled by a demon* HOW THE FUCK IS THIS NOT AN EMERGENCY??
8K notes · View notes
marvel-lous-guy · 4 months ago
Text
Tony: PEteR bEnJAmiN PaRKeR!
Peter: y-yeah?
Tony: Why do you have a fake ID!?
Peter: *incoherent mumbling*
Tony: what was that?!
Peter: You have to be 18 to pet the puppies
4K notes · View notes
incorrectquotesmcu · 2 days ago
Text
Natasha: You look like my first wife.
Wanda: You’ve been married before?
Natasha: No.
336 notes · View notes
kram6496 · 2 days ago
Text
Y/N wraps their arms around Kate’s waist…
Y/N: this is exactly how I want to spend Thanksgiving
Kate: you’ve so good today. How about a little desert before dinner?
Yelena: save it for your own house, love birds
Clint: I could’ve gone my whole life without hearing your banter
Laura tries to cover little Nathaniel’s ears…
Tumblr media
187 notes · View notes
its-really-dry · 26 days ago
Text
y/n: heyyyyyy how are ya?
nat: *smiles* im fine
y/n: i asked you how you were, not how you looked *looks her up and down with a smirk*
nat: *is flabbergasted*
y/n: *winks* smooth huh?
nat: bedroom. right now.
2K notes · View notes
wandas6-gf · 2 months ago
Text
Y/N: *is carrying in all the groceries*
Wanda: *holds out hand to help*
Y/N: *aggressively moves all the groceries to one hand to hold Wanda’s hand*
3K notes · View notes
firegal19 · a day ago
Text
Y/n: *walks downstairs*
Steve: Hey Y/n! How was prom?
Y/n: It was awesome, dad! Stacey and I stayed after to clean up and I got to meet next years trig teacher!
Tony: That’s not the prom I remember.
Harley: I have such a bad headache
Tony: That’s the prom I remember
Bonus:
Bucky: Steve, we raised a good kid
Y/n: You two didn’t raise me, HYDRA did. Everyone knows that
49 notes · View notes