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#bishlova
incorectquoteswlw · 2 days
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Nat: Oh, Kate is coming, do you mind if I slyly mention that you're single?
Yelena: Do not do that
Nat: C'mon, you won't even notice
Yelena: Urgh, fine
Kate, entering: Hey guys!
Nat: Yelena's single
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crybabycunt · 2 days
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Yelena: When I asked for a spoon, I meant the utensil.
Kate: (hugging Yelena from behind) Oh.
Yelena:
Yelena: But this is good, too, Kate Bishop.
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yorkshireteauk · 3 days
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kate comes home one day only to find yelena fully clothed in the shower with the dogs blaring my chemical romance looking distraught as yelena whispers to kate that yelenas favourite mac n cheese has been discontinued so kate joins her in the shower in solidarity
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floilee · 3 days
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“No, I'm going to save you”
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loislame84 · 1 day
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Kate: okay so it looks like we have to do this the old fashioned way.
Yelena: Molotov Cocktail
Kate, turning: what no?
Yelena, smiling holding up the bomb: let’s do it.
Kate: how did you make that so fast?
Yelena, shrugging: Russian.
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rainysofsunshineao3 · 5 months
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Kate: *Banging a pen against a table*
Yelena: Oh my god Kate Bishop! Would you stop? How would you like it if I banged you against the table?
Kate:...
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Kate:...I...don't know the correct answer to that question.
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gfmaximoff · 7 months
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Yelena: It’s really frustrating.
Kate: What is it?
Yelena: Watching Y/N openly flirt with Wanda and Wanda not realizing it.
Kate, wearing a "Date Me Yelena Pls" shirt: Haha yeah, she's so oblivious.
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caitlynskitten · 3 months
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Yelena: Can I use your laptop?
Kamala: Oh sure! Let me just exit out some of these tabs.
Kate: You seem to read a lot of fanfics
Yelena: You seem to write a lot of fanfics.
Kamala: Oh my god this is embarrassing, I’m sorry.
Yelena: Hang on wait I saw my name in there!
Kate: Mine too! Did you write these?
Kamala: *throws laptop out the window*
Kamala: Oh would you look at that? I need to get a new laptop.
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unholyhelbig · 4 months
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new oversight will be everything! i can’t wait!
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Title: Work Life Balance [an Oversight Oneshot]
Ship: Female!Reader x Natasha Romanoff
Summary: When reader gets hurt during a job, she starts to worry about how her girlfriend, the infamous mafia boss that controls the city, will react
[a/n: while this isn't a new chapter of Oversight (I am working on that), it is set in the same universe as the Oversight. It's based off of a Private Practice episode, and something a little lighter & silly. Enjoy!]
Warnings: Gun violence, blood, spit, threats, blood, hurt/comfort, No spell checks
Check out the full Oversight universe
[ Part one | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven ]
Main Masterlist | Read my stuff on AO3 | Leave Requests
The metal bat had slammed against the side of your face with enough force to blind you momentarily in the right eye. It knocked the sense out of you too and your bearings were scrambled until that darkness started to ebb away into a blurry image of the alleyway.
There was a pungent scent in the air, rotted food in dark green trash bags that had been torn by tiny teeth, or elongated claws. Crumpled napkins and discarded soda cups littered the damp ground.
Before the man could swing the bat for a second time, you caught it half an inch from your face and shoved it away. He was disarmed and you were able to shove his back up against the wall, holding him there despite his squirming. His lip was split, the blood drying quickly from the bright red to a deep black.
“Come on, man.” You twisted your hand into the fabric of his shirt, bunching your fingers around his collar. “We fronted the product, so you have to front the cash.”
“Fuck off,”
He spit on you, a gummy mix of tobacco and sugar. There were a lot of things you could handle; the ringing in your ear, and the pain in your knuckles from the first four blows you threw. But spit was where you drew the line. It had bugged you since you were in fifth grade and Amy Sheldon dangled a long string of it inches from your nose before slurping it back up through the slit in her buck teeth.
“Alright,” you breathed out, making sure you kicked the fallen bat out of his reach. “You agree to push product on that little street racer of yours in exchange for twenty five percent of the cut. You get sloppy and sample the product and don’t have the cash to give to my boss?”
You lifted him from the brick and shoved him back down onto it with enough force to push the putrid breath from his lungs. “That doesn’t feel very fair, now, does it?”
He smiled at you with a laugh that rivaled a cackle. His teeth were orange with diluted blood. There was no getting through to him. Your free hand dipped into the side of your jacket. Over the last two years, you’d grown well accustomed to the feeling of a gun in your hand.
You pushed the tip of the gun under his chin into the soft spot of his skin. He stopped laughing, the sound getting stuck in his throat with a choking sound.
“Do you know what they call me?” You gritted.
“A raging bitch?”
You made a buzzing noise in the back of your throat, much like the signaling of a wrong answer on a game show. There was a soft click as you pulled the trigger of the gun. The man in your grasp tensed and hissed.
“Wrong. You know, at first, I just forgot to load my gun. Got me into some pretty hot water, scalding actually. But eventually it became a bit of a calling card. Roulette. I can pull the trigger as many times as I want, but only one will hit it’s mark.”
He swallowed hard, you felt it in the side of your hand. He was sweating and you were growing tired of the empty threats. Yelena wouldn’t approve of something like this, and you were sure Natasha wouldn’t have had a second thought about putting a mark between his eyebrows.
“Most men aren’t lucky more than twice,” You pulled the trigger again, met with another soft click. Of course, there were no bullets in the chamber; they rattled in your front pocket like your keys. “Three times at most.”
His voice cracked. “Please,”
There was a sharp scent in the air that rivaled that of trash. You were losing blood fast. It had streaked down the side of your face from a gash on your temple and crusted the collar of your shirt.
“You have a week to make up the difference. A week and I’ll be back with a gun that has more than one bullet in the chamber. Am I clear?”
“Yes, but-“
“Am I clear?”
He nodded aggressively and you sheathed your weapon, releasing him. His legs gave out and he sunk to the damp pavement. You picked up the weighted metal back, entirely content to take it with you. It would make your next encounter a hell of a lot easier.
It was impossible to sneak into the house without giving yourself away. Even if you were to park down the block, unlace your shoes and pad into the foyer barefoot, and leave the front door open a crack, you were at risk of creating a scene.
That didn’t mean that you couldn’t keep the injured side of your face away from Natasha for as long as possible. She would know that something was up, and despite her throwing you into this life in the first place, her heart broke when you were on the deep side of any injury.
You set the metal bat down with a bucket of black umbrellas and a bench that was mostly unused. There was a dull metal thump that aggravated the headache that was coming on. You attempted to sneak up the stairs, but the second your fingertips hit the mahogany handrail you were stopped by an irritated voice with a Russian lilt to it.
Yelena was sprawled out on the sofa, a book was face down on her chest, lifting and falling with each breath. She’d given up on it in favor of the warmth that Kate provided her. Kate’s head was on Yelena’s shoulder, her arms wrapped around her midsection. Yelena looked perfectly comfortable in between Kate’s legs, both of them were about ready to doze off and if you had waited an extra five minutes, maybe you would have gotten away with sneaking in.
“Did you get hit by a bus?” Kate asked.
You leaned against the entryway of the sitting room. “Ricky got a good hit in with a metal bat.”
“Oo, Natasha is going to be mad at you.” Yelena chuckled, taunting you like a child. You would have thrown a pillow at her if Kate wasn’t in the line of fire.
She was going to be mad at you for not using the buddy system that was proposed and certainly for not dodging the hit that was coming your way. Natasha hated when you got hurt and that sad look in her eyes was worse than whatever pain could be inflicted on you.
“It’s not as bad as it looks.”
“It looks pretty bad.” Kate said.
You shot them both the middle finger before turning away and padding up the stairs towards your shared bedroom with Natasha. Most days, she was holed up in her office and you didn’t bother her until the ache for her touch, for her presence, bothered you both enough to cave.
That was most days.
Some days, Natasha could be found in your room in sweatpants with a laptop propped up on her crossed legs. She was dwarfed in the silk bedspread, her hair in a messy bun and a pair of glasses on the bridge of her nose.
This was quite possibly your favorite look on Natasha, this quiet version of her. She’d let you hold her in this state instead of the other way around. You hated to break the mood, hated that she glanced up from her laptop not once, but twice.
Wordlessly, Natasha set her work aside and walked over to you. She cupped your face, her fingers cold against your cheeks. Her voice was soft and when she was angry enough, there was the slightest bit of a Russian inflection to her words. “What happened?”
“I… didn’t use the buddy system.”
“Mm, you didn’t use the buddy system.”
Her thumb moved against the black and blue wound against your eye. She pressed every so slightly, testing its durability. You winced, drawing in a breath through clenched teeth. It wasn’t bad, really, her touch soothed you just as quickly as it had bitten you with pain.
Natasha was good at taking care of you and she pulled you into the large master bathroom that the two of you shared. There was an abundance of white and beige. It was always a few degrees cooler than the rest of the house and offered a form of comfort as such.
There were nights where the two of you would simply brush your teeth shoulder to shoulder, and there were nights where she had her arms wrapped around you amongst the deep scent of lavender. Bubble hit her touch as her fingers roamed over the most intimate parts of you.
Now, she guided you to the edge of the sink and lifted you up in a fluid motion. She stood between your legs, making you feel even more like a child when Yelena had scolded you downstairs. Still, there was a degree of affection in her movements. Natasha frowned as she pulled a med kit from the bottom of the sink.
She tutted “Zaychik, this looks bad.”
“Image wise or the actual wound because-“You let out a small noise when she placed the frigid and stinging antiseptic against your face. It sent electric down your spine. “I didn’t know he had a bat.”
“A bat?”
“Right out of left field.”
Natasha’s frown deepened. This was supposed to be an easy job, and by all means, it was. You had accomplished your assignment of scaring up. You were sure he had released his bladder as he slid down the wall into a fetal position. Getting the money from a frightened man was going to be no problem.
Tonight was intended to be calm. You’d come home and shower and eat pizza and spend the entire night curled up in Natasha’s arms while she typed away on the computer. You’d listen to her breathing, her heartbeat.
Instead, she was roughly patching you up, buzzing with anger under her stare. “Why didn’t you take Clint?”
“Nat, I have a fantastic idea.”
“If it involves gutting that man alive and hanging him from a flagpole, then I am all in, darling.” Her words were light, distracted, as she wiped away a good portion of dried blood.
“What if we left things at the office, metaphorically speaking. What if we didn’t bring stuff like this home? Shut it all off.”  
She pulled back far enough to stifle her floral scent. There was an adorable crease between her eyes. “My mind doesn’t work like that, Malysh. This home is my office and vice versa. Someone hurt you and that is my business. That is my work.”
“I know,” you said, tucking a strand of fallen hair behind her ear. She glowered under her thick-framed glasses. You wanted nothing more than to kiss the frown off her face. “I know, but sometimes I just want to be with you.”
“Huh,”
“Huh?”
“Huh.”
This wasn’t exactly a constructive conversation. You figured as much when she ripped a bandage out of its waxy packaging and slapped it onto the gash against your temple. You let out a disgruntled noise and she grasped your waist and maneuvered you back to the floor. Your legs had fallen asleep and you were a little unsteady.
Natasha flicked on the sink and started scrubbing her hands of your blood. “No sex,”
“What?” You blinked at her, scratching fruitlessly at the adhesive on the bandage. It was incredibly itchy.
Natasha dried her hands on the nearby towel, “You heard me, no sex.”
“You… You’re withholding sexual pleasure because of something that happened at work?”
“Not something that happened at work, your refusal to talk about it.”
“Natasha,” You nearly whined.
“No sex!” She huffed, pointing towards the exit of the room “Go sleep on the couch.”
You dropped your shoulders in defeat. You had been banned to the couch? Your girlfriend didn’t’ withhold most things and the two of you had a very healthy and active life. There wasn’t true anger behind her words, instead she was testing you. Watching you until you give in.
“Fine,” You huffed, crossing your arms “The couch sounds lovely.”
“Good,”
“Great.”
“Fine.”
You grabbed the fuzzy blanket at the base of the bed and started to stalk towards the door. You could feel Natasha staring at you, waiting for you to turn around and apologize but it wouldn’t happen. Not this time. You were setting boundaries and if that included…no sex… then that was fine. It was fine.
“Zaychik?”
You turned back to Natasha, one eyebrow lifted, “Yes?”
“Leave the blanket.”
She gave you a sugary sweet smile before settling back into her previous position, pulling her computer into her lap. Your jaw was agape, but you tossed the blanket at her nonetheless and stormed out of the room.
The nerve, the absolute nerve!
Natasha wasn’t particularly hard to have a conversation with, but work was nearly untouchable with her. You knew that. She knew that. You did as you were told and protected her and her assets at all costs.
When you got back downstairs you fixed yourself a sloppy peanut butter and jelly sandwich before sulking back into the living room and flopping down onto the recliner in the corner. Yelena had since fallen asleep, and Kate was reading the book while her eyes grew heavy.
“You got kicked out, huh?”
“Kicked out, banned from sex.” You waved the sandwich around in the air “doghouse.”
Kate scoffed “the Romanoff sisters aren’t always the most forthcoming, are they?”
She was looking lovingly at Yelena, stroking her hair as the smaller woman curled deeper into her, fingers clenching at Kate’s flannel and then releasing as she settled back into a comfortable sleep.
“They make it hard to love them, but the moments where the mask slips and they’re vulnerable. Moments like these make everything worth it. And despite everything, you know they care. They’ll always care.”
“Sometimes too much,” you took a large bite of your sandwich.
“No such thing.”
Yelena stirred in her arms, nose pressed against Kate’s pulse point. She clenched her eyes tighter, her next words mumbled “Kate Bishop, if you don’t stop talking you will be sleeping on the couch with y/n.”
“Doghouse,” You said with a long sigh.
“Mm,” Kate hummed, letting out a quiet whisper “Doghouse,”
[Taglist🕷♡: @dumbasslesbi, @lostremind, @toouncreativeforausername @autorasexy @eringranola @mikookaaaaaao @marvelwoman-simp @pacmanmiles @mostlymarvelsstuff, @mrsrushman, @milfsandtittyenthusiast, @random-raccoon4, @ravenromanova, @mysticalmoonlight7, @ahintofchaos@cowboyboots236 @lissaaaa145, @natsxwife]
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incorrect-bishova · 3 months
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Yelena: I'm so happy, I could kiss you!
Kate : Um...Neat.
*later*
Kate , lying face down on their bed: I said "Neat," Wanda. Who the fuck says neat these days? It's not neat to say neat but I said it anyways because I'm fucking stupid.
Wanda, reading a book: Don't beat yourself up too much, Kate . Everyone gets nervous sometimes. Remember what I did when Nat confessed their love for me?
Kate : Didn't you thank her?
Wanda: *closes the book and looks at the ceiling* I fucking thanked her.
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jobethdalloway · 1 year
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Yelena: why is Gorgeous the only thing you can be Drop-Dead?
Nat, already sighing: what do you mean?
Yelena: I want be drop-dead silly. Let my enemies crumble before me, overcome by the depths of my whimsy, don't you think?
Nat: I think you're spending too much time with your girlfriend and she is rubbing off on you
Yelena: You leave Kate out of this
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crybabycunt · 2 days
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Natasha: Why are you two here?
Yelena: I’m here to help.
Kate: And I’m here to make things worse.
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yorkshireteauk · 2 days
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kate tells yelena that they’re going to watch “the greatest film made” which gets yelena excited until kate says they’re watching Garfield 2: a tale of two kitties and yelena sits there thoroughly unimpressed because kate knows yelena hasn’t seen the first one yet
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theshkvyapotapok · 2 months
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Nat: *walks into Kate's office*
Nat: Kate, have you seen Yelena?
Kate: *sighs strangely* N-no...
Nat: *shrugs* Okay *and leaves*
*Yelena's head peeks out from under the table*
Yelena: *slightly out of breath* She left?
Kate: Yes, go ahead, I'm so close.
Yelena: *licks her lips and returns under the table*
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loislame84 · 4 months
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*origin of Kate becoming Yelena’s personal seat*
Yelena, looking around at all the empty seats: may I sit here?
Kate, looking around: here?
Yelena:…
Kate, pointing to herself: this is my lap.
Yelena:…
Kate:…
Yelena: that did not answer my question, Kate Bishop. May I sit there?
Kate, nodding: you may.
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