Who, pray tell, is this gallant frog?
Are there any squirrels or badgers who dare test the mettle of his oath?
Pledge thy sword and watch for more…
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I don’t get the hype around holloweane. like it’s cute I guess? And they’re tragic. But I’ve never been able to really get into them. I’ve never been able to get into their characters much either, I like Holloway a lot and Duke is just kinda there
~~~
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Hatchetfield Tumblr Dashboard Simulator
🧔 timsdaddyhouston Follow
So a couple years after the.. 'accident' I got my car fixed at my buddy's repair shop and now it's talking to me? And telling me she's my dead wife? @tonygreensbodyshop do you know anything about this?
🔧 tonygreensbodyshop Follow
Nope. Nothing. Maybe you could talk to @msretrosofficial about it?
🌟 flemwad69 Follow
OP i suggest you fuck your hot car wife
🤓 hotchocolateboi Follow
OMG RUUTTTHH THAT'S LITERALLY OUR SHOP TEACHER STOP
🧔 timsdaddyhouston Follow
Been there, done that.
🤓 hotchocolateboi Follow
..wait, what now?
42 Notes
🌟 flemwad69 Follow
she's a news anchor. he's also a news anchor. Their 5 year long stint as the co hosts of Morning Cup Of News will change your perception of love.
👨🏻 iamdanreynolds Follow
Uhm, what now?
👩thats-amazing-donna Follow
I second that, what the hell?
🌟 flemwad69 Follow
OH SHIT YOU GUYS HAVE TUMBLR I HAVE TO GO DELETE SO MANY POSTS NOW-
🐿 peanuts-the-hatchetfield-pocket-squirrel
No no OP, you're right. They're really lovey dovey off camera.
🌟 flemwad69 Follow
PEANUTS???
42,690 Notes
😎 steph-lauter-the-mayors-daughter Follow
a test.
👨💼 normalman23 Follow
Sure, to our knowledge the Ape Man isn't real and if he was, why would he come to my house? But consider this, dear reader. Peanuts The Hatchetfield Pocket Squirrel is simply too busy and too famous to show up at my, a normal office worker's, house.
Damn I wish I was him.
500 notes
🗳️ hatchetfield-confessions Follow
You know what, I'm gonna go ahead and say it. I think Ted Spankoffski is hotter than Dan Reynolds.
~~~
🥴 dans-biggest-fan Follow
Anon I am at your house right now with a gun.
🚬 lex-foster
Omg mom GET OFF TUMBLR
#like srsly wtf? #she literally runs a dan reynolds fan blog you guys #like feed your children omg
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🍆 spankman69-deactivated20041017
Yo I just found this sick time travelling box what do I do with it
🐐 tick-tock Follow
Perhaps you should try using it to go back in time and fix your mistakes, OP! Hahaha hahaha!
🍆 spankman69-deactivated20041017
Sure thing, doesn't sound risky at all.
390 Notes
🫓msretrosofficial-deactivated20200604
Miss Retro's will temporarily be closed for renovations! Hope to see y'all back when we reopen! <3 <3 <3
👦🏻just-a-social-worker-guy Follow
Just stumbed upon this post and I am wondering, who is OP? And why do I feel such a weird feeling around her?
✨️ holidays-are-over
Wouldn't you like to know..
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🌐 hatchetfield-morning-news-official Follow
Good Morning Hatchetfield! Make sure to tune in today at 9:00 am sharp to hear more about Hatchetfield's favorite pocket squirrel!
👨🏻 iamdanreynolds Follow
Updating about this on my main and.. what the fuck?
👩thats-amazing-donna Follow
PEANUTS THE HATCHETFIELD POCKET SQUIRREL IS TALKING!!
👨🏻 iamdanreynolds Follow
HE'S A SENTIENT BEING!
👩thats-amazing-donna Follow
WHAT DO WE DO NOW?!
👨🏻 iamdanreynolds Follow
WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?!
👩thats-amazing-donna Follow
WHAT IS THE NEXT STEP?!
👨🏻 iamdanreynolds Follow
IS THERE A GOD?!
💥 hatchetfield-disaster-archive
Hatchetfield Disaster Log: Peanuts the Hatchetfield Pocket Squirrel starts talking, and the Hatchetfield News studio is set on fire.
100,069 Notes
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One of my favourite things about Nerdy Prudes Must Die is that it never goes in the direction you'd expect. It's constantly throwing you for a loop and it knows that and revels in it.
It's a high school play. It has the jock and the nerds and the cool kids and the weird prudy one. Romantic relationships establish themselves quickly, but societal forces get in the way. So you think okay, it's gonna be about how they overcome society's judgement and teach everyone to love who you want to love and form unusual couples and live happily ever after, right?
WRONG. Max just straight up dies. Really early on. And Grace, the girl who was into him, is weirdly on board with just hiding the evidence and pretending it never happened. So they hide the body and he's just gone now. So you think, okay, the rest of the play is going to be about how everyone grieves for Max because even though he was a pain, they still miss him, right?
WRONG. Life is great without Max. Everything is going eerily well. And then? Max comes back as a murderous ghost. And you're like oh okay. This is the plot now. We went from teen romance to having to kill this unkillable killing machine who makes lame one liners and never learned from his actions cos he's basically 18 and hormonal forever now.
Everyone talks about Grace's slow decent into madness, and I love it too, but can we talk about Stephanie's arc really quick? She reminds me a bit of Paul from TGWDLM in that neither of them wanted to be the hero, they just wanted an easy life, but they adapt weirdly well to this strange apocalyptic plot to save the world from theatrical harm. She knows that this isn't how the story should've gone, but she's here now and she's just gonna do what she's got to do to save everyone.
Even if that includes summoning weird colourful eldritch beings to help them.
This play is fucking wild from start to finish, y'all.
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