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cardinalcheerio · 11 months

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Airline: any baggage?

Jason: just emotional

Jason:

Airline:

Jason: oh and the bloody duffle bag

#batfam headcanons #jason todd #bat brothers #bat family #batfam #batfamily #jason is a mood #jason todd deserves better #incorrect jason todd #bat family incorrect #incorrect batfamily #batfam incorrect quotes #incorrect red hood quotes #red hood

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solarflare211 · 1 month

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peak damian and batfamily interaction is him using overly formal vocabulary and syntax AT ALL. TIMES. he will never not be proper. even a few years into living at the manor and with all the colorful dialogue styles there, he still talks like he’s 53 and some sort of medieval noble. this is especially funnier whenever he has any sort of normal familial interaction. like:

damian: todd i have come to make a request of you.

jason: what?

damian: i was hoping you’d acquiesce to my demands of having you read me your favorite book while i prepare for slumber.(liked he used to when damian was a baby)

jason: you want me. to read you a bedtime story??

damian: tt. of course not. you reading the book and me preparing for bed are entirely coincidental. i just desire to hear your interpretation of the authors message and the voices you use when narrating.

jason: ….sure, kiddo. go brush your teeth and i’ll be there.

damian: thank you. i shall see you in my chambers.

bonus points for entirely monotone delivery like see this shit just makes me go off it’s so funny

#jason todd #jason al ghul #damian wayne #batfamily #incorrect batfamily quotes #bat family #dc comics

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nightwolf14292 · 15 days

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I like to imagine that if any of the Bat-Kids are out in public, whether they be getting food, shopping, patrolling, just walkin' around, whatever, that if they see the Bat-Signal pop on it's an unspoken rule between the siblings that they have to throw on their costume and try and find/deal with the trouble before Bruce gets there. Just to annoy him.

Batman: "Commissioner Gordon! I got here as fast as I could.. What's the situation?"

Commissioner Gordon: "Oh, Batman, thank you for coming.. It's alright, though, it's already been taken care of by these fellows."

*Gestures to the side where there's a couple of muggers sitting tied up next to Nightwing(He has pink, glittery shopping bags hanging all over his arms), Red Hood(He's rummaging through the bags Nightwing is holding, trying to find the black nail polish he just bought to touch up his nails after the fight), Red Robin(He's sipping a cup of coffee that he accidentally stole because he ran out of the cafe so quickly that he forgot to pay), and Robin(He's chowing down on a kids' meal from Bat-Burger)*

Batman: ...

Batman: *Subtle annoyed glare*

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batfamhyperfixation · 8 days

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Bruce, running his plan for an undercover operation past the batkids chillin in the living room while post-‘knowing secret identities’ Bernard is there: -and then we will hustle the information out during pool, start stakes low and give them a false sense of security before winning

Bruce: obviously Tim will do that part

Bernard: Tim sucks at pool tho? He can barely make any in and, hell, I made it into culinary school with how many times I was sent to the kitchen to shoot after he hit the cue ball in

Dick: Tim? Our Tim? The one who wins every time? Who was the cause of the rule in the mansion against us ever playing pool

Damien: such a baby, gets stabbed one too many times by sore losers and just has to ruin it for the rest of us

Duke: Tim has hustled all of us outta so much money that at this point it is a part time job for him

Bernard: ??? Tim never wins against me?

All turning to Tim:

Tim, face completely red: he- he always gets so excited when he is winning and he just looks so cute- and his trash talk is basically just flirty banter- and it’s not my fault when he looks like THAT

Tim, shrugging: he just has an unfair advantage over the rest of you, like maybe if any of you were attractive you would start winning pool more too

Jason: and he wonders why he’s been stabbed so many times

#idk whether Tim is purposely losing to Bernard or just getting too flustered he fumbles every time #either way the bat kids are pissed #Tim was so bad bernard honestly has a hard time believing the batkids until they start showing him the videos of Tim doing amazing shots #batfam #batkids #tim drake #bat family #incorrect batfamily quotes #bernard dowd #timber #timbern #bi tim drake #tim drake headcanon #incorrect batfam quotes

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fleur-dans-la-nuit · 2 months

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Jason, to Bruce: Oh just so you know, it's very muggy outside

Dick, smirking: Yeah, now that you mentioned it, I noticed that too

Bruce: …

Bruce: I swear, if I step outside and all of our mugs are on the front lawn...

Tim: *Loudly sips tea from a bowl*

#incorrect quotes #dc incorrect quotes #dc universe #dc robin #jason todd #dick grayson #bruce wayne #batman #tim drake #bat brothers #bat boys #batfam #bat family #bat fam #dcu

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rad-batson · 1 year

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The BatKids and Their Most Viral Tweets :D

Guess who just got their degree last week (me, besties woohoo)

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youroriginalsublimecupcakestuff · 5 months

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Dick, at the police station: hi, i'm here for jason.

officer: last name?

Dick : .....ah. you must be new.

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ev-arrested · 7 months

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Dick and Jason are the type of siblings to have a literal fucken fist fight, and then the next day they’ll be like:

Dick, showing up to Jason’s apartment and handing him a book he borrowed: hey so I finished it. Can I borrow the next one in the series?

Jason, going to get the next book: yeah, word. What’d you think by the way

And then not even a week later, they’re back to fighting again.

Like this is their version of sending tiktoks or texting a fucken game of 8-ball immediately after a spat.

#batman #dick grayson #nightwing #batfam #dc robin #bat family #richard grayson #dc comics #jason todd #red hood #batbros #bat bros #bat brothers #batman incorrect quotes #batfam incorrect quotes #ev-arrested

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49311grayson · 1 month

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[Batfam] Weapons

Damiam: I'm off to school!

Dick: Hold on, Dami. No sword in school. Hand it over.

Damian: What? Why?

Dick: You can't go to school with a sword.

Damian: It's my right to have a protection with me! It makes me feel safe.

Dick: Yes, but not for other students.

Damian, rolling eyes: Fine! This is stupid.

Dick, take the sword away: Thank you. Have fun!

——————————————————————————————

*After the door closed

Jason, smuggles Damian a knife: Don't tell Dick.

——————————————————————————————

*After school

Jason: I'm here to pick Damian up.

Teacher: Oh uhhh Damian is in detention.

Jason: He's in what?

Teacher: He misbehaved during class and he's now being held in a room for an hour after school.

Jason: I know what detention means. I mean what did he do?

Teacher: He brought an knife to school and—

Jason: That's illegal?

——————————————————————————————

*After detention*

Jason: I thought we talked about exposing your weapons in public.

Damian: That stupid kid started first! It's supposed to be a little paid back.

Jason, sarcastic: So you decided to stab that kid in front of people? Great job. Jason: Next time, do it in some where more private.

——————————————————————————————

*Back to the Wayne Manor

Dick: I heard you were in detention today. What on Earth did you do?

Damian: I accidentally poked someone.

Dick, shocked: You stabbed someone?! I told you not to!

Damian: Ok, I may have aggressively poked someone with a knife.

Tim, mocking: Well, not surprised.

Dick: But I confiscated your—— Jason! You're not supposed to give Dami a goddamn weapon!

Jason: Why not? Back in my days, I always carried a knife with me. It's not a big deal.

Bruce: You What?!

Jason: See? Even the old man didn't know.

Dick, sighs: Don't tell me you've done the same thing Tim.

Tim: Of course not. But I do have a taser. Just in case.

Dick: Oh my god!

#dick grayson #damian wayne #jason todd #tim drake #bruce wayne #bat brothers #batfam #nightwing #robin #red hood #red robin #batman #incorrect quotes #bat family

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headcanonthings · 6 months

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Bruce: So this is my first son, Dick and then we have my second Jason. Then we have Cass, Tim, and Duke. Then we have my youngest Damian. The Justice League: Bruce: Then we have the Steph and Barbara who aren't my kids but really are. The Justice League: Oh come on! Bruce: Then there's Harley, Jean-Paul, Helena and - The Justice League: OH COME ON !!!

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cardinalcheerio · 11 months

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Jason at the bank: do you need anything else?

Banker: we need proof that you are who you say you are.

Jason *pulling out his death certificate*: does this work?

Dick *sitting next to him groaning*: I knew this was a bad idea.

#batfam headcanons #jason todd #dick grayson #bat brothers #bat family #batfam #batfamily #jason is a mood #jason todd deserves better #jason and dick #dick is concerned #incorrect dick grayson #dick greyson #dick grayson needs a break #incorrect jason todd #bat family incorrect #incorrect batfamily #nightwing #red hood

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the-glass-is-actually-full · 1 year

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Damian: I swear, no matter how long I've been friends with people, there's always someone who's surprised that I'm left handed. Jason: You're left handed?!? Damian: Damian: *Punches a wall*

#incorrect quotes #batfam #incorrect batfamily quotes #bat family #batfamily #jason todd #jason #jason wayne #jason todd wayne #damian wayne #robin damian #damian #damian robin #damian being damian #batfam incorrect quotes

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incorrectbatfam · 3 months

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Bat-Cow: Where are Ace, Titus, and Haley?

Alfred the cat: They’re playing hide-and-seek.

Bat-Cow: Where?

Alfred the cat: I don’t think you get how this game works.

#source: community #bat cow #alfred the cat #ace the bathound #titus the dog #haley #bitewing #damian wayne #robin #batman #batfamily #batfam #batman family #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #dc comics

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greenapplebling · 8 months

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Dick: Hey, B. I need-

Dick: Uh...

Bruce, laying on bed with Tim dozing off at his side and Damian on the middle being cradled like a baby: Tim came here to sleep and Damian got jealous

*like 10 minutes ago*

Bruce: Damian, Tim came here to sleep. Would you like to join us?

Damian, who just came to ask something:

Damian: Alright, father

*present*

Tim & Damian: *share a look*

Dick: ... *takes a picture*

#dc #tim drake #batman #batfam #dick grayson #robin #damian wayne #batfamily #bruce wayne #red robin #nightwing #batkids #batbros #batdad #baby bat #incorrect batfamily quotes #batfam incorrect quotes #source: my family

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batfamhyperfixation · 1 year

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Jason: the Batfam member I see most as my brother is Tim

Dick: What!!! That's no fair, I should be your brotherly-ist brother!

Dick: No offense Timmy.

Dick, turning back to Jason: But I am the one who has been your brother longest, I helped you kill that druglord, I even gave you some of my cookie dough last week!

Bruce: uhhh, back to the druglord thing-

Steph: You shared your cookie dough with him!

Jason: Sorry Dick, but there is one thing that makes you brothers more than anything else, not blood, or time, but...

Jason and Tim at the same time: Contempt

Jason: I have contempt for Tim, like all siblings should. Really the only thing I love more than hating Tim is shit talking other people with Tim. That form of contempt is how siblings bond and I will just say, surprisingly I love bonding with Tim even more than I love terrorizing Tim

Tim: aww, I didn't know we were that close

Jason, panicking cause he doesn't wanna ruin their dynamic: *punches Tim in the gut and runs out*

Tim, shouting after him: You can't take it back now, you ass

Jason: *turns around while running to give Tim the middle finger*

#dick really wants to bond with jason by shittalking people but jason refuses to let that happen #dick starts showing up wherever Jason is to start shit talking people with him so jason is just quiet until he looks over at dick and goes #'I cant wait to tell Tim about this' and dick is just like 'NO DONT SHIT TALK ABOUT ME TO TIM'#cause like half of shit talking other people with siblings is just shit talking about another family member #one time Dick walks in on Tim and Jason shit talking someone and it's like those scenes in soap operas where the person was just cheated on #dick just sees being the 'most brother-like brother' to his brothers as being the favorite and he really wants to be the favorite #but he is trying too hard so the others are just like nah its something that is just spontaneously formed you can't force it #tim drake #jason todd #dick grayson #bruce wayne #incorrect batfamily quotes #batkids #batfam #bat family #stephanie brown

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fleur-dans-la-nuit · 2 months

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Damian: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.

Dick: Damian, no.

Jason: Mistlefoe.

Dick: Please stop encouraging him.

#incorrect quotes #dc incorrect quotes #dc universe #dc robin #dcu #damian al ghul #damian wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #bat brothers #bat boys #batfam #bat family #bat fam

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