Ted: You all remember Paul? As most of you may realize by now, he's the person I've been seeing lately

Paul: Why are they all looking at me like I'm a zoo animal?

Ruth: Well, Ted is sort of our stand-in "dad", so emotionally, this is kind of like being told you're our new mom.

Paul: But you know it's nothing like that, right?

Richie: Absolutely, can you make us macaroni?

MINORS DNI 18+

There’s a point in time where nobody can make SATORU GOJO do anything except you. He’s graduated to “full-blown-diva” as some like to call him behind his back since they’ve adapted to his way of life. Everything is always about him, and everything always revolves around his time. It’s nothing short of exhausting, and people have started to notice how the only person on the planet that can get him to do anything he doesn’t want to do—is you. They’ve gotten wise to how he’s wrapped around your finger, how he lends an ear when you’re in the room, and when you say jump, he doesn’t just ask how high. It’s clear to see something is going on between you two under the surface, so much so that the people around you have resorted to using you as a summoner. He claims, I was lured here under false pretenses while showing you the very misleading text message you’d sent him to get him back to work. You shrug, casually explaining your lie, “Technically you are about to get screwed in the boardroom, they’re debating about firing you.” After a lengthy discussion, he ensures you make it up to him. He deserves it after one text from you made his cock jump.

Ryan: I'm Laura Kearney's emergency contact

Police Officer: You here to pick her up?

Ryan: No, I'm here to have myself removed as her emergency contact

Bart: Me and Kon go through your stuff all the time. Why does your family keep bread in the freezer?

Kon: And why does the mirror say "You’re special" when you fog it up?

Tim: I do not have to answer—YOU TOOK A SHOWER?!?

Stiles: Derek and I decided to start a relationship. Sheriff Stilinski: Wow. You couldn't do better than Hale? Derek: You take that back! He could do plenty better than me!

Bard: We've known each other for a long time, right? You've come to respect me? Paladin: Sure. Bard: Well, get ready to stop.

*One day in the future, Jason doesn’t invite Bruce to his sons party*

Jason: Look, you think I’m the bad guy because I didn’t invite him to my son’s birthday.

Jason: But you know where he was for most of my birthdays?

Jason: Little place that rhymes with “not there.”

Dick: Times Square?

*Mischievous Planning*

Sirius: James, I think you should play the role of my father.

James: I don’t want to be your father.

Sirius: That’s perfect. You already know your lines.

Steve: …do you wanna talk about that first?

Steve: Tony, did you happen to hear my announcement?

Tony: I hang on every word.

Steve: I’m going to assume that’s sarcasm.

Tony: Correct.

Steve: So you didn’t hear my announcement?

Tony: I’m barely listening now.

Anthony: Would you please not Colin this into a worse situation than it already is?

Colin: Hold on, did you just use my name as a verb?

Casey: We've known each other for a long time, right? You've come to respect me? Raph: Sure. Casey: Well, get ready to stop.

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Miguel: "To be an Alpha, you have to work through your emotions and learn to accept them. Peter, access and share with us your most painful memory. "

Peter B Parker closes his eyes: "I'm... I'm on the playground... stop taunting me!

Peter B Parker, while gasping and starting to cry: "just want to go on the swings!"

Miguel, nodding somberly: "Early childhood is a treasure trove of pain. "

Peter B Parker: "That happened this morning."

[The Diamond Dogs discussing how to get Jamie back to his full potential as a player]

Roy: Count me out.

Ted: We can’t count you out. Jamie listens to you.

Roy: He also listens to the Barenaked Ladies. Go get their dumb arses to help you.

*Everyone gasps*

Higgins: Back it up.

Ted: Okay, Roy. You are clearly in a bad space today, but Jamie is one of our best players, and the Barenaked Ladies are triple platinum. Are you?

Roy: Why does everyone leap to defend that band so aggressively? And how much stuff do we have to go through before my coaching stops being questioned?

Nate: Maybe coaching together is about going through a lot of stuff. And maybe BNL has two Billboard Awards to your zero.

Roy: Oh, they're "BNL" now? We need a shorthand for the Barenaked Ladies. That's how fundamental they are. You know what Jamie probably needs more than anything? Some space. Maybe I do too.

Beard: Maybe we all need some space to pull the knife out of the back of the most celebrated Canadian alt-rock band of the mid-'90s, you selfish, jaded ass.

Bat-Cow: Where are Ace, Titus, and Haley?

Alfred the cat: They’re playing hide-and-seek.

Bat-Cow: Where?

Alfred the cat: I don’t think you get how this game works.

Derek: Gerard can know a plan all he wants. But the plan he knows won't be our plan. Allison: Ooh! Scott: Now we're talking. Stiles: ... because our plan is... impossible to know? Derek: ... Stiles: Because... Derek: ... Stiles: ... OH MY GOD, DEREK IS MAKING THIS UP AS WE GO! The pack: [loudly booing] Derek: Shh! Knock it off! What do you want from me?! Erica: We wanted you to be the alpha with a plan! Derek: I'm working on it! Isaac: Improvisationally?? Derek: Okay, look. Do you guys remember when we hugged and cheered and jumped up and down back in my loft? Scott, dismissively: Yeah, yeah. Stiles: Obviously! Derek: Well, having been together virtually nonstop since, at which point did you think I slipped off with pen and paper and made an entire plan and then chose not to tell you guys?