jason: yeah i’m 19 not that old god would you guys quit it

bruce: (head immediately snaps towards him, despite being like across the city, eyes glowing red, ***miguel o hara riff sound effect*** ) i am needed.

okay so this is an idea I’ve seen brought up maybe once before, but maybe Jason (before the Bats find out who he is) accidentally lets something slip that makes them realize that he’s literally, like, a child (seventeen, sixteen, I’m not sure how old he is at that point exactly, but either works)

and Bruce “adoption addiction” Wayne promptly looks at this obviously traumatized teenager and decides that he should adopt Red Hood.

I just think Jason would be so confused (maybe a little pissed too)

I’ve touched on that a little bit in What you’re longing for (you claim to abhor)!

I think this trope is wayyy underrated. Like, Jason is still so, so young. Basically a child. Even if he died at sixteen and then spent two years with the league (even if we’re counting the time he spent dead as aging). He’s barely even legal when he returns to Gotham. Or if we’re being generous let’s say he’s nineteen.

Doesn’t matter, he’s barely out of his teens (maybe he’s still IN his teens if you bend the timeline of your fic a little) and he’s experienced horrors that would have most people become utterly unable to function. But Jason? That boy takes his trauma and channels it into anger. Which, not exactly healthy, but well.

Anyway, getting off topic:

YES. Jason is still basically a kid when he debuts as the Red Hood, and you know what else he is? A good boy who’s not gonna touch any alcohol until he’s officially 21.

“But why would he do that? He grew up in Crime Alley! Ain’t nobody got time for age limitations!”

Hear me out! Let’s assume he grew up in a household where his father, Willis Todd, drank quite a lot on the regular in addition to his mom’s addiction. Jason experienced the aftermath of this (perhaps domestic violence?) every time his dad returned from a job/jail and he grew to loathe any and all substances, including alcohol. Knowing Jason and his convictions it wouldn’t be too far fetched to assume he’d never touch a single drop of alcohol at all.

So that’s one way he could slip up while taking to his goons (and having the bats overhear) or even straight up talking to one of them where maybe Dick banters a bit and goes “Hey, perhaps you should chill out a bit. Have a drink maybe” and Jason just instinctively goes “Fuck you Dickwing, I’m seventeen/eighteen/nineteen! I’m not allowed to drink!”

And Dick just— bluescreens. And immediately goes to tell Bruce, obviously.

OR

The Bats assume Jason is this old guy (Bruce’s or Drathstroke’s age maybe) and consequently they keep alluding to things that happened way before Jason was ever even born and at first he’s so? Confused??? But eventually it just gets really annoying and eventually he just— snaps.

“How the fuck would I know which Nokia gen hit the market that year? I was born in fuckin’ XXXX, I’m an iPhone kid!”

“Stop referencing the Cold War dipshit, I’m fucking seventeen! I’m glad I remember my own damn birthday!”

“I don’t know, I was like— two back then.”

Bruce, obviously, would take .1 seconds to realize:

“Omg. That’s- that’s a whole child. That’s a whole damn TRAUMATIZED child, killing people and sawing off heads. Omg someone must have hurt him so bad. Don’t worry tho, son, Batman’s got you. You won’t have to hurt anybody ever again. We’re here for you. Would you like the room next to Tim’s or Dick’s?”

Meanwhile Jason: “what the fuck”

every time steph says bruce isn’t her father is incorrect. this man is paying her allowance college rent retirement investment portfolios scholarship in her name room at the manor seat at the dining table she is his. even if she does not yet know. bruce WILL get her. he’s like 6 and 0 on adopting rando kids and by god nothing will stop him from 7.

also every time time steph says this to bruce, he should give her puppy dog eyes until she gives in and lets him be her dad

fuck consider all of this but set in the arkham verse with arkham knight jason and everyone holy shit someone gotta start cookin this shit

there would be some canon divergence obviously, jason obviously has to actually die at jokers hands as opposed to it being faked, and for the death to have more meaning, jokers fake killing of jason would probably have been filmed one year into jason’s imprisonment and he’s just tortured for another few years until he dies from his wounds probably, is buried, wakes in his grave, and is dunked in a pit by talia. but god can you imagine the angst of it all. the sheer pain. hehehehe. hed be even more broken than comics jason. thanks for coming to my ted talk. tag me if you ever write smth

start at the top left, then you read to the right and you keep repeating

ABIN SUR WAS WHAT?????????????

Listen I’m not like a shipper but

THE FACT THAT BRUCE WAS A FAN OF GREEN LANTERN WHEN HE WAS A KID MEANS SOMETHING TO ME WHEN WE’RE TALKING ABOUT BRUCE/HAL

steph as robin is something i still consider my personal canon but i don’t use the part where she dies or the whole dumb “dead robins club” bit, goes for damian, since dc refuses to write jason in any way that is narratively satisfying to read and consistently is disliked by the fandom and then demeans his story and trauma and undermines his arc by killing other robins so he’s suddenly not special. i’m pretty sure there’s a comic panel that literally says that. you have to remember, jason’s death wasn’t some stupid one off plot device. he’s not like these other dumb fucking robin stories where they die and come back like next issue. he died. and stayed dead. for more than 15 years irl. the circumstances of which sent ripples throughout the comic book community. and the way he died, is integral to his development. he’s living proof of batman’s flaws. batman refuses to kill even the most irredeemable serial killers, and even after that costs him his son, he doesn’t change. he grieves sure, but in the end he’s got a new robin, the joker is still alive and life moves on like nothing happened. and that is so much of jason’s story. the robin batman failed. i consider jason to have been the best, if not potentially the best partner to batman. dick and bruce fought a lot as they weren’t ina smooth relationship dynamic, bruce actively didn’t want a robin from tim, and still didn’t really want one after tim forced himself into the suit. steph lasted two weeks, before bruce fired her and damian is a great fighter, but he completely misses the point of robin. jason was supposed to be robin forever. in my au if jason lived, i think he would eventually become batman. dick didn’t really want to, and nightlong was basically his own batman anyway. tim is a great robin, but he’s not cut out for the sheer physicality of batman, esp with his spleen gone. steph would never want batman, she’s her own thing, and damian won’t be ready for a long time if ever. in my mind, it was always meant to be jason who took over when bruce retires. dc continuously disrespects his character with the whole “robins die a lot” bullshit. thanks for listening to my ted talk.

Saw someone the other week say they didn't include steph in their robin art because they just didn't like her which is fair enough but also you're telling me you like tim more than Stephanie? Not the best vibes I won't lie

I appreciate the honesty because then I could just block instead of reading terrible explanations for why they left her out but I really can’t help but judge their taste

give me baby timmy tot fics pls!!!!!!

little doodle of tiny Tim and his big brother Jason, I've been reading so many baby Tim fics lately and they mean the world to me<3

guys i need your help which jason ship do you prefer

i like both but need to know which one y’all prefer

guh????

buh????

julian the bat-manatee

Quote from Scrubs

pepi

hi. it’s me again. break your hearts people or i will do it for you

start at the top left, then you read to the right and you keep repeating

it is much funnier

peak damian and batfamily interaction is him using overly formal vocabulary and syntax AT ALL. TIMES. he will never not be proper. even a few years into living at the manor and with all the colorful dialogue styles there, he still talks like he’s 53 and some sort of medieval noble. this is especially funnier whenever he has any sort of normal familial interaction. like:

damian: todd i have come to make a request of you.

jason: what?

damian: i was hoping you’d acquiesce to my demands of having you read me your favorite book while i prepare for slumber.(liked he used to when damian was a baby)

jason: you want me. to read you a bedtime story??

damian: tt. of course not. you reading the book and me preparing for bed are entirely coincidental. i just desire to hear your interpretation of the authors message and the voices you use when narrating.

jason: ….sure, kiddo. go brush your teeth and i’ll be there.

damian: thank you. i shall see you in my chambers.

bonus points for entirely monotone delivery like see this shit just makes me go off it’s so funny

was anyone gonna tell me that injustice jason todd was league, murdered waller, then was suicide squad kinda, then was gun batman, then helped revive alfred what the fu k

even funnier if damian doesn’t know jason is fucking with them because that’s just. how he talks.

peak damian and batfamily interaction is him using overly formal vocabulary and syntax AT ALL. TIMES. he will never not be proper. even a few years into living at the manor and with all the colorful dialogue styles there, he still talks like he’s 53 and some sort of medieval noble. this is especially funnier whenever he has any sort of normal familial interaction. like:

damian: todd i have come to make a request of you.

jason: what?

damian: i was hoping you’d acquiesce to my demands of having you read me your favorite book while i prepare for slumber.(liked he used to when damian was a baby)

jason: you want me. to read you a bedtime story??

damian: tt. of course not. you reading the book and me preparing for bed are entirely coincidental. i just desire to hear your interpretation of the authors message and the voices you use when narrating.

jason: ….sure, kiddo. go brush your teeth and i’ll be there.

damian: thank you. i shall see you in my chambers.

bonus points for entirely monotone delivery like see this shit just makes me go off it’s so funny

this. you get it.

Jason and Bruce's first encounter in Batman #408 is blatantly mischaracterized so often that I have to do a double take every time I see anyone talking about it. I would like to say before I get into this that there's nothing wrong with disregarding canon, but you gotta know what you're disregarding or you just completely ignore the important character dynamics that are set up.

First of all, Bruce didn't see Jason stealing his tires and say "oh yeah, I'm adopting this kid." Yes, he did think it was funny and end up getting invested in Jason's life, but he had no intention to adopt or even interact with Jason again. He sends Jason to Ma Gunn's school, hoping that Jason can get an actual education and have a successful life.

People like to claim that Bruce was just lonely after Dick left and so he replaced him with the first kid he saw, and if you assume that Bruce just grabbed Jason off the streets after their first meeting, that seems pretty damning. but he DIDNT. he didn't initially want to make Jason Robin, he just wanted Jason to have a good life and get out of Crime Alley. (don't get me wrong, I still think it's fucked up that he made Jason Robin and failed to communicate with him about what that really meant and made him feel like he had to live up to Dick perfectly, but if we're gonna critiquing Bruce, we're gonna do it accurately.) He didn't even plan on interacting with Jason again in any meaningful way until he finds out that Jason isn't going to Ma Gunn's, and Jason explains that it's not a real school.

And after that he STILL doesn't make any decisions. It's not until after Jason tries to stop the heist at the museum completely separately from Batman that Bruce even takes in Jason himself.

And yeah, I really don't like the way he did this, but the narrative that Bruce just scooped Jason up off the streets because he wanted a new Robin is just straight up inaccurate. Yeah, I can totally admit that he probably felt at least a little lonely with Dick's absence and that affected his decision, but I think more importantly he saw himself in Jason and made his decision based on that.

The same way he recognized Dick's trauma with witnessing his parents' deaths, he recognized Jason's here. Do I think letting these kids fight crime is the best way to handle this trauma? of course not! but as explained earlier, he didn't originally intend to make Jason robin. And even more than that, these are comics, they don't have to be good choices that would be okay in the real world!

Okay anyway I forgot what my other points were and I just spent an hour writing this out and finding the panels, so uh here. Sorry I went on a little bit of a rant here.

this is his home more than it ever was to bruce or anyone else so they can stuff it

ngl, everytime I see someone saying Jason needs to leave Gotham, I understand where they're coming from, but I also feel so upset by it

like, Jason grew up in the slums of Gotham, in the worst environment possible, but that's his city, he's seen everything it has to offer and all he has is it, he doesn't have a superhero team with a Batman sponsored hideout to run to, he barely even has friends. All he has is Gotham, from the day that he came to life, to the day he died, all he had to claim was Gotham

personally i ignore the storylines where the other robins die because it takes away from jason’s death because that is the point, he died and it wasn’t some silly little died and came back a month later like every other robin in the stupid “dead robin club” his character was absent from comics for 10-15 years and his death and its circumstances changed the comic book world, and because dc keeps detracting from his character by not writing him properly and making his death less unique they lower the quality of their stories as a whole

What if Jason did the whole shtick of "wow another Robin huh? You'd think the old bats would think better of it after the last one kicked it" and then Tim is dead faced pissed and punches him in the face and goes "Don't ever talk about my dead girlfriend like that again" and Jason's just bluescreens cause wat