#source: my family
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Lucius, to Narcissa: You, you're unhinged!
Lucius, to Draco: You, you're demented!
Lucius, to Bellatrix: You… you're just you!
#incorrect harry potter quotes#lucius malfoy#narcissa malfoy#bellatrix lestrange#draco malfoy#source: my family
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(kid)Tim: *suddenly feeling an impulse to do something*
Tim, looking at Dick: ...
Dick, distracted with his phone: ... Tim? What-
Tim, with his teeth attached to Dick's arm:
Dick:
Tim:
Dick: That's not how you bite someone
#maybe this fits damian better but i kinda like the concept of dick teaching tim how to be feral kid 'properly'#dick and tim#dc#tim drake#batman#robin#red robin#dick grayson#nightwing#batfam#batfamily#batkids#batbros#incorrect batfamily quotes#batfam incorrect quotes#source: my family
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Hazbin Hotel as out of context shit my family has said
Adam: Enjoy the month, skittle. How about you taste these nuts instead of the rainbow?
———
Husk: Charlie bought Chef Boyardee.
Angel: Chef Boyardeez nuts.
Husk: Low hanging fruit, man.
———
Alastor: Wow, you look divorced.
Lucifer: Thanks, asshole.
———
Lucifer: Why didn’t they do the Lunar Faire for the summer solstice?
Charlie: Because it’s a lunar thing?
Lucifer: Oh yeah. This is why you’re the one running a hotel.
———
Niffty: We’re gonna try all the colors on you! Like a rainbow!
Angel: That suits me very well.
———
Adam: Nature is for lesbians!
———
Vox: Velvette, don’t call Val a bald-headed dipshit.
———
*in text*
Vaggie: I wanted to make myself abundantly clear.
Adam (one day later): You’re abundantly queer.
Vaggie: Took you a whole day to come up with that one?
#source: original#source: my family#all of these are things that have been said in my household#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel incorrect quotes#hazbin hotel adam#hazbin hotel angel dust#hazbin hotel husk#hazbin hotel alastor#hazbin hotel lucifer#hazbin hotel Charlie#hazbin hotel vox#hazbin hotel vaggie#hazbin hotel niffty#‘how about you taste these nuts instead of the rainbow’ and ‘chef boyardeez nuts’ are very obviously the same person irl#those were both my brother lol
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Natasha, age 11: Mom, Yelena’s gaslighting me!
Yelena, age 6: No I’m not! You’re just crazy.
#source: my family#natasha romanoff#black widow#yelena belova#avengers#the avengers#incorrect avengers quotes#incorrect avengers#marvel#incorrect marvel quotes#mcu
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Jaune: Look, Breakfast Sausage links are S-tier, but Sausage Patties are B-tier.
Olivia: They're the same thing!
Saphron: They are not The same thing! You wouldn't put Rotini above Farfelle! That's just sacrilege!
Jaune: Gods, you might as well say that mashed potatoes are the same as Potatoes O'Brian
Olivia: Patties and links taste the same! All pasta has the same mouth feel!
Saphron: It's a texture thing, and the way Sauce clings to the pasta!
Olivia: I don't care about it!
Jaune: Just say your favorite pasta is Penne Lisce!
Olivia: IT'S ALL THE SAME, SO YEAH IT IS! TIED WITH EVERYTHING ELSE!
Papa Arc: Olivia, you're excommunicated from the family. I'm gonna need your Gun and Your Badge.
#rwby#jaune arc#saphron cotta arc#saphron arc#papa arc#olivia wreathe arc#rwby shitpost#the arc family#source: My family
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Claire, to Jack: Sup stupid
Dean, smacking her arm: Hey! Don't call your brother stupid!
*five minutes later*
Dean, to Sam: Sup stupid
#source: my family#supernatural#spn#spn shitposts#big sister claire#claire novak#little sibling jack#jack kline#jack and claire are siblings#this is now a jack and claire siblings blog#dean winchester#sam winchester
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Azelma: Can you help me get my bucket hat back from Gav?
Gavroche: I look better in it!
Éponine: You look stupid, but okay.
Grantaire: To be fair, he also looks stupid without the hat.
#source: my family#eponine thenardier#azelma thenardier#gavroche thenardier#grantaire#les miserables#les mis#incorrect les mis quotes
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Jane has hallucinations
*Cathy hears Catalina and Jane arguing*
Cathy: What's going on?
Catalina: Jane thinks we have a dog. 6 specifically
Jane: But we do!
Catalina: *grabs a stuffie outta thin air* DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A DOG TO YOU?!
Anna: That's mi-*gets hit by said plushie*
Catalina: SHUT UP
Anne: Why is it that the most sane people have gone crazy now?
Kat: We're truly doomed now
#source: my family#six the musical#anne boleyn#six the musical incorrect quotes#incorrect six quotes#six the memecal#catherine of aragon#jane seymour#catherine parr#anna of cleves
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Ryuu: Therapy? I believe in self-reflection.
Lunoire:
Lunoire: You not believing in therapy makes so much sense actually...
Chloe: The thing about self-reflection is that you gotta be good at it.
#incorrect danmachi quotes#danmachi#ryuu lion#lunoire faust#chloe rollo#source: my family#her familia was destroyed and her life was ruined#and not once did she talk to anyone about it in five years#she really just sat on her mountain of trauma and thought 'this is fine.'#I love her but she's an idiot
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Sanders Sides As Things I Overheard
Roman: "Where's Logan?"
Patton: "Roman, Logan's busy being judgemental."
(Source: My brother as Roman, my dad as Patton, my mom as Logan)
#sanders sides#incorrect sanders sides quotes#patton sanders#roman sanders#logan sanders#source: my family#ts patton#ts roman#ts logan#sanders sides as things I overheard#virgils stuff
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Narcissa: *to Lucius, after her mother leaves the house* Don't even think about locking that door!
Lucius: Locking it? I was thinking of bricking it up!
#hp fandom#incorrect harry potter quotes#incorrect malfoys#malfoyfamily#narcissa malfoy#lucius malfoy#source: my family
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*at a cafe*
Dick: What would you like?
Damian: Black coffee
Waiter: Sugar or-
Damian: No sugar
Waiter: Are you sure?
Damian: Yes
*later*
Damian, after 1 sip: Richard
Dick: Yeah?
Damian: I'm experiencing regret
#dc#robin#damian wayne#dick grayson#nightwing#batman#batfam#batfamily#batkids#batbros#batfam incorrect quotes#incorrect batfamily quotes#source: my family
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Niffty: HEY, CHARLIE WANTS TO KNOW IF YOU WANT ICE CREAM, YOU STRAWBERRY COLORED FUCK!
Husk: Niffty, are you insane? He’s gonna-
Alastor: Tell her no thanks, my tiny friend!
Husk: Both of you can go to double hell.
#source: my family#source: original#hazbin hotel incorrect quotes#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel alastor#hazbin hotel husk#hazbin hotel niffty#language warning#tw swearing#swearing warning
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Conversation
E
GLaDOS: What's the most commonly used letter in the english alphabet?
Chell: T
GLaDOS: Wrong.
Wheatley: S
GLaDOS: No.
Rick: R
GLaDOS: What's the matter with you? It's E.
Wheatley: That's not even a letter, it's a consonant!
GLaDOS: ...
Chell: ...
Rick: Consonants are letters-
GLaDOS: And E is a vowel, you idiot.
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Meredith: Ok, Ellis, it’s time for your piano lesson.
Ellis: But I don’t know how to play the piano!
Meredith: That’s why you’re taking lessons.
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Some liscence plate: “kyscar”
Jason: *gasp* it’s the “k!ll yourself” car!!
Tim: no I’m pretty sure it’s “ky’s car”
Dick: no, I’m pretty sure it’s “kysc ar”
#trigger warning#tw#I guess?#incorrect quotes#dc comics#comics incorrect quotes#batfam#batfamily headcanons#batfamily#incorrect batman quotes#jason todd#red hood#dick grayson#nightwing#tim drake#red robin#robin#batman#source: my family
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