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tiredofsatansbullshit · 8 months

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Another chapter of my "The Waynes on Twitter" work on AO3

Masterlist of Tweets

33 - Manors haunted.

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bruciemilf · 2 months

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Bruce buys twitter to ban his kids specifically

#dc #dc comics #social media #social media au #batfamily #batfam social media #batfam twitter #jason todd #dick grayson #stephanie brown #terry mcginnis #clark kent #bruce wayne

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astorianyxkings · 5 months

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There's always people theorizing how the Batfamily hides Jason disappearance and reappearance, but I literally haven't seen anyone use the best explanation: Witness Protection.

Like this literally answers every question. The Death Certificate? They had to fake his death. The empty grave? Obviously it had to be believable. The time when Wayne Heir "Richie Wayne" refused to step foot in Gotham and talk to his father? He was pissed about Jason's (non) death. Brucie Wayne's very real depression after his death? Well he lost contact with his son and he was under immense stress from the government.

Like this literally answers every question I can come up with. Why has no one said he was in witness protection? And if people have done it, send me fics and prompts because I'm obsessed.

And the best part is, the Waynes are so stupidly rich that they could pull it off. Lex Luther could try and conduct his own investigation but somehow he can never find anything concrete. And if he gets too close either Babs hacks them or Tim just calls up Conner for a distraction.

One time Jason gets cornered and asked how he felt about returning to his life after being in Witness Protection. Unfortunately, him and Bruce weren't on the best terms to explain the whole story but he comes in clutch. He spins the tale about how heartbroken he was to see his brother, father and grandfather grieving and how honored he was when he learnt his new little brother idolized him. Tim got ahold of a copy of the interview and will never let Jason live it down.

The media doesn't ask Bruce questions about Jason's death because last time they did he broke down and a suddenly furious reporter chastised them and reminded them that while Jason may be alive Bruce still mourned his death. The picture of Bruce in tears at the interview is currently one of Jason's favourite lockscreens.

Same goes for Dick. Any questions of his brother's death results in (1) Richie Wayne ready to throw hands at any and everybody, (2) his wife (well one of them) Barbara Gordon threatening the reporters or (3) That same Metropolis reporter chastising the whole community again.

#dc comics #batfam #bruce wayne #jason todd #yes the reporter is clark #hes ready to fight for b and dick #vicky vale wonders if jason todd wayne was in witness protection due to something involving the red hood #jason goes on twitter and bashes the red hood's whole persona #dick grayson retweets that red hood is trying and is just a little lost #the official batman twitter likes that tweet #it causes a huge mess for both barbara and jim gordon to clean up #they knew they shouldn't have gotten involved with gothams pet billionaire and his weird kids

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incorrectbatfam · 10 months

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Duke: Bruce, can you sign something for school?

Bruce, shaking his head: If I sign this, you're going to have to learn how to forge my signature. If you sign it from the start, you'll be able to sign whatever you want and they'll never know.

#source: twitter #duke thomas #signal #bruce wayne #batman #incorrect batfamily quotes #batfam #batfamily #batbros #batboys #batkids #batsiblings #batman family #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #dc comics

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mikeluciraphgabe · 11 months

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I never really wanted the heroes to be in this but I thought this time it would be funny. You may or may not see them again idk yet

Part 6 master-post

#LMAO I HAVE MYSELF PISSING #Batman #batfam #batfamily #Jason Todd #dick grayson #tim drake #duke thomas #bruce wayne #Batman Twitter Au #twitter au #hal jordan #Barry Allen #Clark kent #Oliver queen #the flash #green lantern #Superman #green arrow

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rad-batson · 11 months

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The BatKids and Their Most Viral Tweets :D

Guess who just got their degree last week (me, besties woohoo)

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irregularjohnnywiggins · 1 year

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You ever have those moments where an idea just... won't leave your head?

#dcu #batman #bruce wayne #green arrow #oliver queen #fake tweets #things I was not able to adequately convey in the format:#obviously Bruce's reasoning is really a lot closer to Ollie's but Bruce has a secret identity to maintain and Ollie... well #I don't know if you can make it out but his twitter profile pic is him in the Green Arrow costume and that's not accidental #also I am pretty sure that Bruce does just have the first airing date of The Price is Right saved in a corner of his mind palace #just in case it's ever relevant to a case #and he's angry at Ollie because Ollie knows that and also knows Bruce can't admit it because it would raise too many questions #also I did consider an extra scene where they tag-team harass Lex #but it just didn't sound right to me #also I put a whole load of Green Arrow references in here #Q-Core N_Singh and H_Fyff are all from the Nu52 Green Arrow runs #albeit Naomi and Henry are at least in the good Nu52 runs #obviously this is post-Snowbirds Don't Fly/Hard Travelling Heroes in general so Oliver is trolling Hal and setting up needle exchanges #and even Hal explaining to Ollie what Twilight is is a reference to one of the most dated things about the Arrow pilot:#the extremely tacky Twilight joke #anyway hope you enjoyed!

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baihujun · 2 months

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I drew a guest art for finch's artbook

#bruhal #batlantern #batman #hal jordan #bruce wayne #green lantern #my bro @caninefinch on twitter!!#what an honor #my friend was like “is hal a ghost and i gonna cry”..... no unfortunately he is very much alive. just being a pain in the ass #my art #dc comics #bats tag

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ironladders · 2 months

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woe be upon ye. boobs bruce wayne

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oneshotprincess · 10 months

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i imagine that someone in gotham runs a 'how long has it been since bruce wayne adopted a kid?' twitter and it updates regularly with the exact number of days since whatever child's official adoption announcement. the replies are full of jokes about bruce wayne's adoption addiction

i also imagine that every once in a while, bruce wayne's official twitter account qrt's the latest countdown with 0 days, and that's how the public finds out about the latest wayne kid

#the twitter probably starts after tim #and thrives thru damian and duke #inspired by how long in the box gojo guy achieving freedom #batfam #batman #batkids #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #cassandra cain #damian wayne #duke thomas #robins #mine #dc comics #only in gotham

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tiredofsatansbullshit · 7 months

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Another chapter of my "The Waynes on Twitter" work on AO3

Masterlist of Tweets

36 - This is me admitting defeat. I cannot keep on thinking of names for chapters

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bruciemilf · 1 month

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Weather forecast predicts absolute foolery

#dc #bruce wayne #dick grayson #thomas wayne #alfred pennyworth #martha wayne #batfamily #social media #social media au #batfamily social media #batfam #jason todd #stephanie brown #batfam twitter

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cassiebird · 9 months

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the twitter batfamily activities continue (ft. ghostbat because they have infested my brain)

#tim drake #cassandra cain #dick grayson #minhkhoa khan #bruce wayne #jason todd #stephanie brown #duke thomas #ghostbat #batman #batfam #dc #dc tweets #batfam twitter

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loosepocketchange01 · 10 months

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#batfam #jason todd #batman #batfamily #dick grayson #dcu #incorrect batboys quotes #gotham #bruce wayne #incorrect twitter #damian wayne #duke thomas #I lose more sanity with every one of these I spoke

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incorrectbatfam · 1 month

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Damian: *finds a stray cat*

Damian: Can we keep it?

Selina: Your dad is allergic.

Damian: Father can stay outside.

#source: twitter #damian wayne #robin #selina kyle #catwoman #bruce wayne #batman #batfamily #batfam #batboys #batbros #batkids #batsiblings #batman family #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #dc comics

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mikeluciraphgabe · 1 year

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Part two (I kept forgetting to add the verification check so the ones with tim and jason that don’t have it ignore plz cuz I rlly don’t want to remake them🫶) (Cass and Damian don’t have Twitter btw) master-post

#the bats #batfamily #batfam #Batman #Robin #batman and robin #dick grayson #tim drake #jason todd #cassandra cain #damian wayne #duke thomas #bruce wayne batman #alfred pennyworth #Bruce Wayne #Batman Twitter au

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