One thing I absolutely adore about Batfamily social media AUs is that we all collectively agreed that Jason is not verified on Twitter. Like nah bro, there's no way that's Jason Todd, he died 5 years ago.
But now that you can buy the checkmark, Jason would be the first in line to get one. He would've been fine to pay the full $20 a month, anything to be on par with his siblings.
And right after he gets the checkmark, Tim reports the account for 'impersonating his late brother' and that it's 'incredibly disrespectful to the memory of the real Jason Todd'. It's immediately suspended. Naturally Jason's pissed and tries again, but then Dick reports the new account.
It becomes a cycle of Jason paying for the Verified checkmark (with Bruce's credit card, naturally) and one of the other Batsiblings reporting his account. He even tried marking it as satire (which is somehow okay in Elon's new system? idk) but Steph reports that one as harassment. Blocking their accounts - both civies and vigilantes - was even less helpful.
In the end, Jason has lost more than $80 and he still doesn't have the checkmark.
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On the subject of Damian and the axolotl, I feel like people do send him pictures of animals and stuff and he gives a rating, idk tho
Stranger: I thought you'd like to know that Lacey had her puppies. *sends a pic*
Damian: For once, a mother who should be proud. 10/10.
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Stranger: *sends a derpy cat pic* This is my cat Momo, short for Movie-Theater Mozzarella-Sticks. He just turned 3 and likes to eat pillow feathers.
Damian: Truly the cat of all time. 10/10.
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Stranger: I think I saw Krypto the Superdog on my way to work. *sends blurry video of Krypto flying*
Damian: There goes Metropolis's hero. 10/10.
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Stranger: *sends a pic of a lizard in a pointy hat* This is King Gizzard, my lizard, as a wizard for Halloween.
Damian: I would give him all my candy. 10/10.
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Stranger: *sends a video of their parrot*
The parrot: Polly loves crackers and Damian.
Damian: Tell Polly I love her too. 10/10.
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Stranger: Bruh there are so many gophers at Gotham U. *sends pic of gophers chilling in the quad*
Damian: 10/10. Good for them, living their best life.
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Stranger: Do fish count? If so here's Bubbles. *sends video of a goldfish*
Damian: They absolutely do. 10/10.
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Stranger: I went to my aunt's farm and got to ride the horses. Meet Dash. *sends Instagram story with a horse*
Damian: A fine specimen. 10/10.
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Stranger: Opinions on this stingray? *sends scuba diving footage*
Damian: Superb. 10/10.
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Stranger: I found a worm. What should I name him? *sends pic*
Damian: He looks like a Kevin. 10/10.
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Stranger: This is me and my stepdad with the hens we've been raising. *sends pic*
Damian: What lovely ladies. 10/10.
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Stranger: I went to a butterfly garden today. *sends video of a butterfly landing on their hand*
Damian: Stunning. 10/10.
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Stranger: I just got back from a safari. *sends album of savannah herds*
Damian: Next time take me with you. 10/10.
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Stranger: *sends a Ratatouille GIF*
Damian: Don't tell my family but I'm training my rats to do the same. 10/10 by the way.
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Stranger: This is Herbie, our class bunny. *sends a pic with the teacher fumbling in the background*
Damian: He looks more intelligent than your teacher. 10/10.
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Stranger: *sends pic* Got bored and bought a frog. I'm naming him Toad.
Damian: I hope your life is as dull as ever. 10/10.
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Stranger: Tzu Tzu keeps leaving her laundry everywhere. *sends video of a snake shedding its skin*
Damian: You're her assistant. Do your job. 10/10.
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Stranger: I finally got a hamster!! *sends video*
Damian: Now treat them like royalty and get yourself some tubing. 10/10.
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Stranger: Ideas for decorating my hermit crab's shell? For context his name is Juan and he likes the color yellow. *sends pic*
Damian: I suggest black and gold. 10/10.
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Stranger: I saw a turtle on my morning walk. *sends a pic*
Damian: Ethereal. 10/10.
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Bruce: *sends a family photo*
Damian: *blocks and reports*
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