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Incorrect Batfam Quotes
*Harley trying to cheer up Robin
Harley: Don’t worry, you’re going to be fine.
Harley: You come from a strong line of lunatics!
Damian: *thinking of his family history, from both sides
Damian: That is actually quite reassuring???
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violent138 · 2 days
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Gotham city caves to public pressure and asks Gordon to ask the Bats if they'd be willing to partake in Superhero Story Time at various Gotham Public Library locations. Bruce tells his kids, expecting to get annoyed replies about how busy they are, but they practically compete for shifts.
All the Bats are very committed to making fun voices, even if they already have a voice modulator on, and engaging the kids. As a result, the kids love it, it's the safest way to visit a Gotham public library, and the kids find it hysterical when the Bats eventually have to pull a vanishing trick or escape at the end.
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bats-and-birds-24 · 2 days
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Water purifiers have to be a common thing in Gotham.
Like Scarecrow's testing out a new fear formula by dumping it in the water ways? Ah well, thank God Wayne Enterprises had a sale on WE water purifiers.
This is also not taking into account the Lazarus pit underneath Gotham, or just the regular chemical waste that's illegally dumped into the Gotham river by the chemical and pharmaceutical companies.
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Making my way downtown walking fast-
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Walking faster--
*hears a squeaking sound*
Walking F a s t e r--
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jeffrey-anderson · 3 days
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Injustice in the Justice System: The Ethical Plight of Arkham Asylum
It is a common saying within Gotham City that you can set your watch off of Arkham Asylum’s regular breakouts.
Founded by Dr. Amadeus Arkham well over a century ago, this government-funded penitentiary has morphed from a well-meaning mental hospital to quite literally a house of horrors. Sanctioned as an asylum for the criminally insane in 19XX, Arkham Asylum has been affected by corruption and fraud every year since its founding - a reality only exacerbated by the breakout rates that have spiked by almost 46% annually since the Joker’s posting as a publicly known terrorist.
Anybody who lives in Gotham has been affected by the persistent breakouts plaguing the asylum. It’s been the Riddler’s bombings of the subway system. It was the threat of Gotham’s water supply being polluted by Joker toxin (only narrowly avoided by vigilante Batman’s interceptions). It was literally any Halloween these past few years. Take your pick.
Arkham Asylum is wholly an ethical nightmare. Its moral values and code of conduct have completely warped since its founding, and a lack of accountability has transformed it into an unethical hovel for anybody incarcerated there. Corruption runs rampant in the system. Any bribe of any size can be weaponised, and prisoners can do anything within and including escaping.
The poor legislation and the lack of accountability likens Arkham to the El Salvador gang jails. Both of them have death rates in the hundreds, and both do not receive programs preparing inmates for reinsertion into society. The two of them have inmates who are rarely - if ever - allowed outside.
These so called ‘reformatory’ institutions are unethical, unlivable hovels for anybody incarcerated. The abusive living situations make it a wonder any of Arkham’s convicts ever even consider choosing to stay within the prison walls.
Speaking of Arkham being an unliveable hovel - asylums throughout America have progressively gone out of style within the last forty years. However, Gotham is a city that leans more towards traditionalism - a view paired with and reflected throughout the city’s beautiful architecture and the scarcity of new bills, legislations and laws that are passed as a result of the city stagnating and being unwilling to create change.
This languishing, this lack of desire for movement and progress, is part of the systematic problems that threaten to topple Arkham. It is part of why it is inhumane.
Asylums have been going out of style for a reason - both sides of the system suffer. There is a relatively low rate of recovery from patients in asylums who are mentally unwell - even lower in Gotham City. Caregivers are pessimistic about their future outlooks because of the low success rates, feeding back into the cycle with no positive yield. This vicious pattern makes it nigh-impossible for anyone within the system to get any sort of fulfilment from it.
Although Arkham is officially a psychiatric ward, it houses patients who are arguably sane and yet are sentenced to life with the mentally unwell. Take Adam Bomb for example (article linked). Convicted of terrorism after trying to blow up the city, Bomb worked with criminally insane terrorist Firefly and thus was convicted of insanity beside him despite all claims that he was not mentally unstable.
It could be argued that these inhabitants aren’t perfectly sane, but an overwhelming amount of evidence from court records show otherwise. XX% of convicts in Arkham were allegedly intended to go to Blackgate Penitentiary, but couldn’t as a result of the overcrowding in the system. This whopping XX% percent of inmates, forced to live in padded cells and treated as less than human because of an insanity that they don’t have, live in an oppressive scheme which in turn makes it more difficult for actually unwell prisoners to receive the help they require. Furthermore, inmates who are criminally insane likewise suffer - the heightened risk of assault, dangerous gangs, and trauma in result of the organised crime fester a wholly unhealthy environment for the patients in the system who are meant to be there.
This misconduct is really highlighted in 20XX’s horrifically dubbed “Haunted House” breakout, where seven inmates (both sane and insane) attempted an escape. One of their psychiatric patients (a Ms. A. Smith) was killed in the panic after experiencing a psychotic break and subsequently attacking one of her fellow escapees after watching one of the sane male inmates assault a staff member.
The tragic events that transpired in the “Haunted House” jailbreak underline the desperation of reform required within our justice system. It is crucial that we address these issues within and around Arkham, as its current state has crossed lines and boundaries that even the worst cities throughout the globe have not passed.
Now, after considering these insurmountable problems, you may be wondering.
How is Arkham Asylum still standing?
Surely, some uncorrupted Gotham official is good, right? They would have seen the corruption, the abuse, the inhumane condition. Surely, somebody would have pushed for a change.
Well - you aren’t wrong. Arkham has been the focus of almost 15% of bills petitioned within Gotham City for eight years.
But there are good reasons why it is still functioning. Why nine out of ten of these petitions are rejected, despite the obvious poison to our society that it provides.
Arkham Asylum was made by a key founder of some of Gotham’s most foundational rules and regulations, Stuart Gordon. Nevada and Maine are the only other states to decriminalise sex work - but Gotham City, too, has special permissions under the state of New Jersey to abolish the law as a result of his work. Furthermore, Gordon pushed for Gotham to be one of the first cities (although highly debated and largely criticised at the time) to allow equal purchase and selling of property by minority groups within Gotham. Gordon’s lasting contributions to New Jersey’s sociopolitical landscape are likely partially why Arkham‘s presence continues to endure despite its increasingly intrusive existence in our modern society.
Arkham Asylum stands as a symbol of justice. Despite the rampant violence and a severe lack of accountability within its system, it is the most famous (and infamous) jail this side of America. When you look any closer at the system, its flaws and corruption reveal themselves to you in a disturbingly clear fashion. Yet when we think of the law, when we consider the justice system, Arkham is always the first to mind, given its wide discussion by people around the globe.
Arkham Asylum was a lot of money. A lot of money. For the first fifteen years of its construction, Gotham government’s annual transparency records reveal Arkham Asylum taking almost 40% of the budget allocated to police and law enforcement in its construction time. This rampant fund theft and poor budget of the government, exacerbated by the relative spike in crime rate during the years of its building, proves just how long they intend Arkham to stand. Why would the government put so much money into something that they didn’t intend to run in the long term?
These factors have made our authorities comfortable. Unaccountable. Stagnant. The level of ease that Gotham’s government holds about jailbreaks trickles down to regular citizens. They face no consequences from us as a result of our being excessively comfortable with the crime they permit.
If nothing is to change, we have a clear view on the future based on the long history we have with Arkham in the past. Gotham City’s complacency allows corruption to fester, and it leaves us citizens complicit in the tragedy of crime and disaster.
It is not too late to change course.
If we don’t stop this fraudulence now, it will be too late to change course.
The first step to change within others - our society - is change within ourselves and our standards. We must remind ourselves that this crime is not normal. Remind ourselves that we should not be comfortable. The disasters, the rampant crime and the rotating door of terrorists coming and going from Arkham is not something to be nonchalant about. We have to teach our children that the standards that Gotham’s bureaucracy sets for us isn’t acceptable, and that they should not be growing up with fear in their hearts and emergency exits in their minds.
Furthermore, it is imperative that we insist on more from our higher-ups. Allowing them to continue shrugging their shoulders and telling us that the establishment cannot be changed is only going to worsen the state of our city and justice system to the point of no return. We need to pressure new laws from them, so we can uproot the corruption that they have allowed to fester in our city for decades. We must demand new regimens for jails in order for us to be able to transfer inmates out of overstuffed systems and give resources to those who need it most.
Most importantly, we have to demand better, moral legislation. Regulations that seperate the harmless from the terrorists, and incite prisoners to remain in a prison that will not be cruel to them at every waking moment.
One voice can only do so much.
Many voices, speaking as a part of an undivided unit desiring wholly for change - that will get the government’s attention. That will make them feel the same discomfort we have been experiencing our whole lives. That will lead them to forging new change within this stagnant society, one which will better both the lives of AA’’s inhabitants and those of Gotham City.
Sign this petition, and stand with me. Stand with all of us who are appealing for a difference within a society. Help us create change that will last for generations.
-Jeffrey Anderson
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I FOUND MY CAT!!
Apparently, Robin took him when i was in my Intro to Criminal Justice class.
Because "he looked sad"
Nightwing made him return the stinky babie
I've decided that i am in love with the bat-family
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rad-batson · 3 months
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I’m like 99% sure the Gotham Elite’s social customs are fucked up because Autism-in-Human-Form Bruce Wayne was just so fucking tired of high society’s weird and incomprehensible (and frankly ableist) social etiquette that he went full Virgin Mary About-to-Invent-a-Major-World-Religion, said “oh haven’t you heard?” and just started making his own random social rules. Like who’s going to stop him? The other elites? The dinosaur CEO’s? He’s richer. He hosts the better parties. He could tank your business in a weekend. So when he says “Weird passive aggressive fork language is out. Having a different utensil for every different food texture is in,” you use a different utensil for every food texture. Now when foreign elites visit Gotham, they have to learn a completely new set of social customs to fit in. It’s like a cult, but the cult is run by the most influential man in the world and Gotham’s personal Jesus. The followers are more likely than not mafia bosses named after a bird. You will be judged. There’s a test. Yes, you do get brownie points for being nice to the servers. For the love of god, stop making so much eye contact. The cloth napkins are folded into little ducks. Welcome to Gotham.
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emo-batboy · 3 months
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A Wild Battinson (Social Media AU)
Part 45 (Masterlist)
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(Part 46)
@bruciemilf it’s been months bestie but it’s tradition
If you follow me on my main, you know I haven’t actually been gone. I’ve just been on a few side quests. I’m also being fought over by two companies rn so that’s fun (and completely stressful, please I’m just a 22yo teenage girl) but we’re BACK for a limited time! Idk I’ve got like at least five parts in my drafts so let’s see what happens.
TOODLES
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waynefamilyreactions · 9 months
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(If somebody else already did it, I apologize)
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mikeluciraphgabe · 11 months
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I think there should be more fics about Gothamites talking back to the bats - specifically Batman
“Get inside” “you’re not my dad”
“Stop trying to fight the joker, PLEASE” “fuck you, I do what I want”
“The streets aren’t safe tonight” “bro it’s Thursday, one of chillest days. Please shut the fuck up about telling me about gotham like I wasn’t born here thanks”
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qcomicsy · 1 year
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Batman sitting on the Batmobile: You need to watch your fighting stand Robin, when we get back–
Batman: You're not Robin.
Cosplayer very much terrified, who hadn't had the courage to tell who he was when a 6'0ft tall man dressed as a bat dragged him into the batmobile:
--
Tim in a Uber on his way to a comic con along with a bunch of other teenagers: I sense I made a mistake somehow.
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violent138 · 3 hours
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I know technically speaking Bruce heavily tampered with the crime scene, but I'm sure the news or a rumour about what happened to the second Robin returned anyway to Gotham. And I wonder if parents, knowing the kind of psychos that existed in their city banned little kids from wearing any Robin costumes or colours for Halloween or anything for years after.
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"Is Cassandra cain mute?"
As someone who has heard her go on a rant about ballet's and knifes. She is selectively mute. Also don't force her to speak you dumb bitches.
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redrobinforreal · 9 months
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Bernard is up and at it again
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dickgraysonmybeloved · 2 months
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Red Hood, after being kidnapped and stripped of his guns: Don't worry, I've got a few knives up my sleeve.
Random Gothamite, who was also kidnapped: I think you mean cards.
Batman, long suffering: They do not.
Red Hood, pulling out knives: I did not.
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ev-arrested · 4 months
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Imagining clicking on a Snapmap hotspot in a superhero city and it’s just shit like this lmao
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Inspired by this thread
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