Bruce's PR team doing their best to mitigate gay rumours after Bruce was spotted kissing a 'mysterious man' at a gala (it was Clark.)
Only for Bruce to retweet a Superman thirst trap the next day, adding 'I'd suck his dick so hard he'd forget where Metropolis even was.'
The public and press quickly forget about the mystery man and instead jump whole heartedly onto the 'Bruce Wayne wants to suck Superman's dick' train.
Bruce's PR team are weeping into their morning coffees the next day whilst Bruce just grins because the gay thing wasn't what bothered him about the situation, it was that Clark's privacy was at risk and as far as he's concerned, the issue is now solved.
Sure, Superman now has to deal with random civilians asking him if he's seen the tweet, but, you win some you lose some.
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A few consistent factors about Golden Age Lois Lane:
She really loves Superman, and really likes Clark (As a friend, potentially more. She's stated a couple of times if Superman wasn't a factor she'd probably date Clark. She only says this when she sees him shirtless) She likes muscle men first- niceness is the secondary factor.
She's a reporter who will always find out the truth- at any cost. She once refused to publish a lie and was fired for it, and left with no regrets. She's also contantly competing with Clark for scoops and isn't afraid to trick him.
She's kind of a goober- she'll tell little jokes that only she finds funny. She'll also openly roast whoever she finds aggravating.
She's never broken under interrogation. She's told people multiple times, Nazis, thugs, superhumans, that they'd kill her before she breaks.
Given a modicum of power, she will immediately start abusing it. It's kind of charming how egotistical she is at times.
Her fashion game is absolutely on point, and she has, many, many different outfits. We are not allowed to see her closet, as it probably breaks the laws of physics.
She's not a coward- even when she's honestly way too physically inept to be able to escape or handle a situation, she will throw herself headfirst into it.
I kind of love how flawed Lois Lane is as a person. She's loud, egotistical, opinionated, conniving and vain- but she's also brave, committed and loyal.
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okay i've seen a few Just Some Guy!danny aus and they've consumed my brain so here you go, it's under the cut, you're welcome and thank you (ps it also combines part of a prompty type thing i saw the other day, props if you know it)
Danny was not entirely sure how he got here.
He was just walking along, bopping to some great interdimensional tunes, eating his tuna fish sandwich - with ectoplasm and pickles, of course - when KABLOW there's this big ole tightie-whities-on-the-outside wearing guy.
Now, Danny's not great at keeping up with the times, but he's pretty sure this is that Superman dude.
Said SuperDude was staring at his headphones and making vague "hey take them out pls so can converse" gestures, so naturally Danny pops the Interdimensional Walkman out of his chest to pause his wicked music, and then puts the whole kit and kaboodle back behind his rib cage.
"What's up? Did you need help or something? I mean, I'm pretty solidly retired but I guess if it's super important I can-"
SuperGuy abruptly stopped staring and started speaking, "Uh- no, no, thank you. Although I'm sure you could be helpful if I did need you! But, ah, well, was that a Walkman?"
Ohhhhh, Danny totally gets it now.
"Oh, dude, I gotchu. You want me to hook you up, right? Don't even worry about it, I know a guy who'll give you one a these babies for free! You're Kryptonian, right? Yeah, I totally get it, you wanna listen to some music from your home planet, no problemo my newly-minted friend, give me, like, ten seconds-"
And so Danny tore open a neat little portal and stuck his head through it, asking Technus to pretty please give him another Interdimensional Walkman, no he didn't even break this one-! He ran into a Kryptonian who heard him rockin out and wanted to know where he got the beats, and he'd told them that he could hook them up! C'mon Technus, you can't let them down! They're all lonely! They want to learn about their culture!
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Clark has no idea what's happening.
He had been searching for this ear-splitting, headache-inducing noise, and had come across a guy dancing down the sidewalk.
Not unusual, right?
Except that the terrible noise was coming from this man's - kid's?? He can't quite tell how old he is - headphones!
Of course, he didn't want to be rude, so he politely gestured for the man to remove the headphones. The man then proceeded to reach into his chest and pull out some kind of - Walkman?? Do people still use Walkmans?
Clark was naturally concerned, so he activated a spot of x-ray vision, just to see what's going on in there, and was promptly horrified.
This man was using his chest cavity as a storage compartment!
Two wallets, a key ring, a lunch box, some sort of odd thermos, bits and bobs of random parts and tools were all tangled around - and occasionally in - this guy's organs!
Suddenly, Clark realized that he'd been staring for a while, and the man was now talking. Something about coming out of retirement to help, oh dear, Ma would knock him around the head if he kept being so rude, "Uh- no, no, thank you. Although I'm sure you could be helpful if I did need you! But, ah, well, was that a Walkman?"
And now he was speaking rapidly, something about music from Krypton? Clark's pretty sure that not a whole lot survived the explosion, and he'd be pretty surprised if this guy just happened to have-
A vaguely Lazarus colored portal??
What in the world-
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"Thanks Technus! You're the best! I owe you one non evil scheme related favour!"
Danny zips up the portal and turns around, fiddling with the tapes and Walkman in his hands as he goes.
"Here you go! I wasn't entirely sure what genre you'd want, I don't really listen to a whole lot of Kryptonian stuff to be honest, it's usually too heavy on the vocal for me- not that vocals aren't great! But I want a whole band experience, yaknow? I'm not really looking for individual singers. Anyway, I just had him go for a couple songs of each major genre, but if you want something different you can totally-"
"Wait, hold on, you're telling me that there's Kryptonian music on those tapes? Playable by that Walkman?"
"Uh, well, yeah. Isn't that why you tracked me down? And, technically, I mean, they're ectoplasmic tapes and an Interdimensional Walkman, so. Hey, did you know that kryptonite is actually super-condensed ectoplasm? And since it's filled with the anguish and suffering and fear and whatnot of your entire home planet dying, it only negatively affects your species! Pretty cool right? Oh, shit, was that insensitive, I really didn't mean to be, I just thought that maybe you'd want to- ACK!"
Danny was not expecting SuperMuscles to get so close. He thrust out the IW and tapes and dropped them into SuperFellow's hands, "Listen, I gotta run. I'm supposed to be at a o-chem study group right now and they're totally gonna be pissed. Hit me up if you want a different tape."
And the proceeded to run in the opposite direction, duck into an alley and turn invisible, and fly over to the cafe his study group was in.
"Listen, I know I'm late but you'll never believe why-"
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Y/N grunts as he gets out of the ruin remains of his flipped over car. He had a gash on his forehead, and he struggled not to cut himself on the broken window glass. Some red-headed chick with a bad attitude flipped his car over like it was made of paper. Y/N's not sure how he survived with so much as a scratch on him, but he's thankful for it.
The woman looked at him. " I couldn't kill you in front of him. But now that you're alone, I'll make sure you never take him away."
"Who... Mr. Kent? Look, I don't know who or what you are, but you got it all wrong, lady. There is nothing romantic between me and Clark." Y/N said.
"You have a deep connection to him. I felt it."
"Then you're out of your mind. He likes Ms. Lane. Not me." Y/N protested from the safety of his ruined seat.
"Deny it all you wish, I know love when I see it. He would never have been able to pull away from me if he wasn't drawn by his attraction to you." The red-headed lady told Y/N as she drew closer to him.
"Look.... he's straight. He likes women. You're wrong."
"Oh, he may not know it yet. But believe me ... there's a bond. And I could see it on your face when you caught us together. You feel it, too. But I finally found the man that I've wanted all my life, and you can't have him."
"You're fucking crazy!" Y/N said.
In the blink of an eye, she was on Y/N, hand around his throat as she lifted him into the air and started to choke him as he struggled to get away.
Just before Y/N blacked out, Superman came fly down behind them. "Let go of him, now!"
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