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rallamajoop · 1 year

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Some more on the original Deus Ex

As I may have mentioned, I'd seen the original Deus Ex hyped so much that it could only really be a disappointment, and I came away from it with some mixed feelings. On the one hand, there were parts of it I loved! (I mean, mostly those bits towards the end where you're being stalked by a couple of memorably evil AIs that I'm still kind of trying to get someone to write me fic about.) But by and large, most of the experience left me feeling like I didn't really get this game. I'm a little worried it might be, like, a guy thing, or whatever.

But enough intro: here's my basic disconnect in a nutshell.

How the game was sold to me: You get to make all these meaningful choices, and the game responds to your actions!

How the game actually works: Sometimes, you can arbitrarily decide to shoot someone who would otherwise have been a boss battle/other obstacle later, and what you did might come up in dialogue somewhere too.

Well, okay. I guess murder is certainly a choice.

Let's recognise upfront that there is real cleverness letting you use a core gameplay mechanic (ie. violence) to solve problems most other games wouldn’t ‒ but the subversion works mostly because the violence-option isn't telegraphed first by, say, including a 'stop or I'll shoot!'-style dialogue option first. You've just got to be willing to randomly shoot people to see what happens, then be impressed the devs reward you for doing so.

There are other 'choices' in the game, but nothing that struck me as especially novel: a couple of characters can live or die depending on your actions, or might wind up in different places, and people in your office may have different things to say to you after your first mission or two based on who you shot or whether you went in the women's loos ‒ but a little different dialogue is basically the limit. You can't lose or gain any major allies, can't uncover any major secrets (I guess you can hear about a couple a little early?) or send the plot down different pathsways. If a character had anything important left to contribute to the story, they can't die, and you can't kill them.

And what this game will 'respond' to ‒ even superficially ‒ is as arbitrary as any other. Your boss will be annoyed that you killed a civilian or annoyed a coworker, but he won't give a single fuck that you took time out from an important mission to do a favour for some local arms dealer, where you broke into a secret research facility run by your boss' own shadowy superiors, and which you're very definitely not supposed to know about. Your PC's 'response' to news of the death of his own brother ‒ one of those characters who can live or die ‒ gets barely more emotional than one 'it can't be' delivered with minimal inflection. Yes, thankyou, he'd very much like to see the body! He's got a quest to retrieve something from it, you see.

But oh boy can you shoot a woman in her own home before she's even had the chance to lie to you yet! Haha, suck it, bitch! I've played this game before and I know you're a bad guy!

You’ll generally have valid suspicions about such targets before killing them, but finding a suspicious secret room or examining a body lying on the floor will not unlock the dialogue option to say, "hey, what's up with that?" You can either let it go, or pull out a gun and shoot your suspect (non-lethal options make no difference). More than once, I wound up reloading a game after dying in a boss battle, then sniping the boss before they were officially hostile, denying them even the chance to talk to me first. Very convenient, but making 'meaningful choices' in this game made me feel like a fucking psychopath.

None of this would have thrown me if I'd been playing, say, a Hitman game or some GTA clone where gleeful murder is basically the point. No, what makes Deus Ex so uncomfortable is that, at least initially, willingness to kill people is very explicitly a Bad Thing. JC's brother Paul advises you to stick to non-lethal tactics and will be subtly (but effectively) disappointed if you don’t. A big red flag that you might be working for the bad guys is that your new 'partner' thinks that non-lethal tactics are a sign of weakness. This part is not subtle: JC even brings it up to a third party, and is loudly uncomfortable with the idea of a peacekeeping organisation using so much violence. Right, got it! Killing = bad!

But as soon as you defect away from your evil, murder-happy masters, who you kill abruptly ceases to matter. Never mind that you’re now killing people who probably have no more idea they're working for the bad guys than you did. The friendly tech guy who defects alongside you will even bluntly refuse to help you leave the building until you've killed your former, kill-happy partner (if you ambush and kill her before this point, he'll be briefly shocked, then quickly assure you he's editing the footage to cover for you). Even Saint Paul is now using lethal force. What happened? Was the only real problem before that we were killing the wrong people?

For the rest of the game, no-one cares who you kill. While your arsenal of lethal weapons expands to include lightsabers and plasma rifles, your non-lethal options never advance beyond what was available to you in the very first stage. Allies will casually tell you to murder people they think are bad news. Use non-lethal methods, and the dialogue may still refer to your targets as dead people. Everything here is telling you that murder is the only game in town.

I don't really feel like me and the game were on the same page about what qualifies as 'suspicious' behaviour either. Your friends have reasonable questions about the former Illuminati member who helps you, but no-one questions allying with a literal Chinese Triad leader ‒ not even when you've seen him actively running extortion rackets all over the city. Then there’s the mystery voice "Daedalus" that helps break you out of prison, then continues ordering you around without a word about its true identity, let alone why I should believe it doesn't have it's own sinister agenda. But apparently we were supposed to trust Daedalus unquestioningly. Why?

Then again, I guess that's basically all JC does: obeys his UNATCO superiors, until his brother tells him they're evil, then does whatever his new allies tell him to do until you finally get to a point where three different voices are telling you to do different things at the very end of the game, producing his one really significant choice in all the plot. For a game nominally about giving you choices, it's strange how little narrative agency your PC has.

As for choices directly pertaining to gameplay, I can only say it’d be easier if so much descriptive text attached to your skills and equipment didn’t vary from "unhelpful" to "outright lies". "Increases slightly" may mean "base rate +20%" or "base rate DOUBLED!" and other skills list features that aren't affected and exclude those that are. Damage figures for some weapons are also just plain wrong. How was this shit not fixed, even for the "Game Of The Year" edition?

And so many 'choices' in this game are just weird. For your first mission, for example, you get to choose between three 'bonus' weapons: a sniper rifle (which you can also find during the mission), a tranq mini-crossbow (ditto), or a "GEP gun", an auto-targeting RPG launcher that can easily become your one-stop-one-hit-kill-shop for everything from locked doors to enemy deathbots right up to the endgame. This is a starting weapon.

Over in augs, you're forced to make a choice of 2 options for each 'slot. You can pick the 'energy shield' aug, which reduces fire damage only, or 'regen', which (fully upgraded) heals damage from all sources so fast it can make you close to invincible. Forget making users choose between the 'swim longer' or 'reduce poison damage': just turn on regen, and you will legit heal faster than you can drown. Why am I having to chose "run faster, jump higher AND fall without taking damage" or just "move silently"? Am I supposed to spend the game toddling slowly around and stacking endless piles of boxes just for the privilege of an easier time sneaking up on people? No thank you. Meanwhile, your strength enhancement can be upgraded to level 4, even though you can lift the heaviest boxes in the game at level 2. Why? And honestly, as soon as I could jump a decent height, the need to lift anything evaporated.

The ugly truth is that the most rewarding upgrades are rewarding precisely because the base game experience is (deliberately) a genuine slog. It's your classic inverted-difficulty-curve: Level 0 JC moves at a crawl, can jump about a foot, and could not hit the near side of a barn in any sort of hurry. Stacking boxes to climb is a maddening exercise in frustration, awkwardly toddling around, trying to find the one place on this ledge the game will let me drop a box without falling off and having to start again. Don't even get me started on the ladders. Fuck yes I chose "run, jump and fall safely" over stealth. I'm not a masochist.

And then there's all the other jank. There's the fact that JC will continue making "I am taking damage" noises, just to confuse you, even when taking no damage because you have, in fact, equipped something that negates that type of damage completely. There's the times the game falls over itself to make sure you've got the one code you really need for plot reasons, just in case you run completely out of lockpicks. There's that other code you can get by murder or bribery, or just by looking at literally any computer in the building. This is not a game without its warts.

None of this is to say Deus Ex's gameplay is bad ‒ it's easily the game's best feature. Exploring and trying out toys like scramble grenades that make robots attack each other was legitimately fun. Sticking your head underwater and realising a dedicated player could probably swim to the sub base directly is genuinely neat. Base-level combat is clunky because DX isn't an action shooter and isn't meant to be: you're supposed to take your time, plan, and try out stealth options. For a lot of players, I'm sure all these gleefully broken mechanics are half the fun.

It's only having seen so many gamers unironically hold this thing up as the Best Game Of All Time that I start to do the head-tilt. There's plenty of novelty here, and a lot that's obviously more rewarding to players keen to experiment over multiple playthroughs (or who've at least checked a wiki to find out what all those skills actually do), but fine-tuned and well-balanced this is not, and it's damn hard to imagine anyone putting up with a base gameplay experience this clunky today. (I mean, I realise the whole Dark Souls genre is a thing, but... is that really comparable? I honestly would not know.)

Oh, and although DX contains both a) burning barrels, and b) fire extinguishers, you cannot use one on the other to produce a safe, non-burny barrel that can be moved and stacked like something useful. Usable fire extinguishers exist, but they do not extinguish fire. IDEK.

At the end of the day though, clunky early gameplay wasn't what made DX so hard for me to get into ‒ major record scratch moments kept tripping me up. Here's an example: your first mission involves a bonus-objective of capturing the terrorist leader alive, and another to rescue this one loose-canon agent who Leeroy Jenkins'd his way in and got taken prisoner. When you rescue him, he asks for a gun so he can 'secure' the ground level. Everything leading up telegraphs that this is a Bad Idea ‒ he's obviously going to start a firefight, probably destroy any hope you had of capturing your target alive, etc. What difference does it actually make? Well, if you give him that gun, he'll be friendlier in a couple of later conversations. That's it, that's the whole difference. And the lead terrorist just surrenders the moment you walk into the room, no matter what you do. Important choices, everyone!

Here's a bigger one: your first New York mission is to find and shut down an NSF (terrorist) base. At a bar, you learn it’s led by a guy called Jojo, who runs drugs and prostitution in the area. You meet Sandra, who works for him, and get a detailed description. But Jojo's not in the enemy base, and JC reports simply "Jojo wasn't there". Okay, clearly we're setting him up for later on.

Between this and your next visit, you learn your agency are the bad guys, the NSF are the good guys, and have been all along. NOW you finally encounter Jojo... at the hotel, where his entire role is to have a brief argument with the Sandra's father, before either Jojo kills him, or you take Jojo out first. That you’ve just killed a major leader of your new allies does not matter to anyone. That an NSF leader was running drugs and hookers doesn't matter to anyone. The fact Jojo was obviously meant to be a bigger player whose role got mostly cut doesn't really help either. I'm left wondering what the hell I missed.

For a game supposedly built around giving you options, it was also frustratingly easy to break. I got fed up with combat in one early area and decided to just sneak past most patrolling enemies to reach my goal ‒ supposedly a valid strategy. This worked just fine until my evac showed up and landed on the roof in a fucking helicopter, alerting every surviving soldier in the area, and leaving me trying to get out under heavy fire. I was even stopped for congratulatory cutscenes with friendlies on the way, none of them the least bothered by the firefight going on around us! (I did not make it to the chopper, I got shot, grumbled a bit, and had to reload a much earlier save.)

This was a problem that kept coming up. By far the worst "feature" of this game is how easily you can be pulled into conversational cutscenes which don't freeze nearby enemies, who'll immediately spot you, alert their friends and set off alarms, all while JC stands there like a doofus, completely absorbed in his asinine conversation. This whole song-and-dance is objectively hilarious every time it happens, but still very frustrating, and it absolutely shreds any narrative immersion you might have had going. Just walking too close to some NPCs can trigger a conversation ‒ even crouched and trying very hard to stealth. Wanna sneak in to rescue a prisoner via the hatch on the roof? Too bad, JC will stop to have a loud conversation with said prisoner, alerting everyone else in the building to come bursting in!

Also not helping my immersion is the thinness of the world-building. Like, there's a major plague outbreak in progress, but it doesn't seem to bother any civilian who's not actively suffering from it. There are no quarantine zones, no businesses are shut down, no-one's paranoid about catching it, and I can think of all of one guy who's lost family to it. It got progressively weirder to be reminded it was supposed to be a major plot point, because I really wasn't feeling it. Sure, we're all much more aware of what a real epidemic looks now than people were in 2000, but c'mon: this shit is, like, plague 101.

The subject of human augmentation feels like a similar dropped ball. In theory, it's a Big Deal that nano-augmentation is coming in to replace the old metal-prostheses, but the fact that people who have literally given up an arm and a leg are about to become obsolete is mentioned in a couple of emails, then summarily dropped. What nano-augmentation can even do that the old kind can't is never established. Theoretically, it's easier to install and upgrade ‒ only not, because unless you've been genetically engineered like JC and Paul, it just kills you. There appear to be all of about 7 augmented people in the whole world, and that's mostly because the game has 4 bosses, plus JC, Paul, and this one bartender you talk to who used to work for UNATCO. Nano-augmentation really only exists as an excuse for why JC is more awesome than anyone else, and give you a very loose in-game excuse for finding upgrades scattered around the place (which, I remind you, no-one else can even use).

One suspects the reality is that Deus Ex just isn't interested in any worldbuilding beyond working in as many conspiracy theories as possible, and oh boy is that a subject all its own.

I've seen Deus Ex lauded for its social commentary – and sure, every bartender you talk to has their own political philosophy to share – but it all feels a bit weightless in a game which also wants every absurd government-Illuminati conspiracy theory to be true. Early on, one NSF leader gives an extended political spiel about the decline of income inequality over the 20th Century ‒ valid, real-world stuff. But later, you learn that the literal Illuminati (the ONLY villains who matter to this game) have been running the whole world behind the scenes since the time of the Templars ‒ well before the start of the 20th Cen. So, how do we reconcile these two worldviews? It could be fascinating to explore how the rise of technology might have increased the Illuminati's power and reach, but that would be way more backstory than this game has time for. JC himself is all in favour of democracy, but nothing that actually happens in the game (and certainly none of the endings) ever backs him up. I don't think I'm really that surprised there are apparently people who come out of this game arguing it's right wing propaganda.

Even DX’s best ideas tend to have happened in the past, off-screen. The original Illuminati themselves have been recently deposed by a splinter group called Majestic 12. You find out about this in one long shrug of a conversation with a former Illuminati member (I'll be honest: I missed a lot of it, because there were all these soldiers standing behind me with guns just waiting for the cutscene to end so they could open fire). Daedalus turns out to be an MJ-12-created AI program that went rogue and classified its own creators as terrorists. That's a terrific concept! You find out all this in a brief conversation with another ex-Illuminati member, well after Daedalus himself has disappeared from the game. There's no uncovering these secrets organically, they haven't been woven into the narrative: they've already happened, and someone tells you.

But what really made Deus Ex such a bland experience is that it just doesn’t have much personality. You play as JC Denton, a guy who looks like John Travolta cosplaying as Blade, with all the personality of a textbook with a couple of smart comments scribbled in the margins. He spends the first act dutifully telling everyone that UNATCO is a serious, peacekeeping organisation, and being mildly disappointed that it's not. It's a very monotone experience.

None of his allies have much character either. Who's your favourite, the tech guy who does tech stuff, the doctor who does doctor stuff, or the retired general who's tragic-dead-family exist solely as an excuse to bring up that JC's parents are dead too? Tong, a literal Triad leader who apparently thinks technology was a mistake, has all the spark and edge of a fluffy toy. This guy has more personality in the 5 minutes he's on screen in DX:HR than he does in all of the original game. The most interesting person in your 'crew' is the pilot, who'll spout off a bunch of conspiracy-sounding-nonsense about Area 51 if you buy him a drink, and claims to fly better when he's not sober. He's entertaining enough, but he really shouldn't be a highlight.

This isn't to say DX is devoid of memorable characters, but everyone with real personality is a bit-player or a villain. And even then, Bob Page and his 2IC are mostly different shades of smug bastard, Gunther is German and Stupid, Anna is German and Evil, Icarus gets away with a deliberately-flat computer-voice by using it to say incredibly creepy things, and Helios is mostly just Icarus, but now he likes to say yeessssss really suggestively. There’s some kind of tune here, but it’s still a little one-note.

And the game as a whole is almost devoid of narrative tension. Some of that may be intentional ‒ letting players feel like they have time to look around and plan (and deal with a combat system where just aiming a gun can take several seconds), but should that extend to every other character, every scenario? There's a section of the game where JC supposedly has only 24 hours to live, but he still has ample time to stage his own jailbreak, fly to China, bust out of a hanger, wander a market, visit a bar, meet some Triad leaders, pick up some sidequests... it just goes on. Nothing ever seems to be urgent.

Voice actors are so rarely stretched to express any real emotion that you have to wonder why they bothered voicing this game at all. The FF series got more emotion out of pixelated skittle-arms and silent text than this. So maybe you can see why the game finally came alive for me once a psychotic computer started stalking me ‒ ah, finally, something to make me feel an actual emotion! (Mind you, my patience with Icarus might have worn a lot thinner if all his threats had actually meant something, like say, you're about to get swarmed by enemies soldiers. But no, they're just as empty as the rest of the game.)

Also annoying: the lack of female characters. Sure, there's Anna Navarre and Maggie Chow – both of whom you can ambush and kill off even earlier then their officially scheduled boss fights, if you'd rather be done with them early. Either way, both are gone before we've hit the halfway point. All you powerful allies (Tong, Everett, Savage) are male. All your friends (your brother, your pilot, the hacker, the doctor, the quartermaster) are male. All the major villains are male. Even the AIs all have male voices. The was one female Illuminati, but she's dead ‒ you spend a short mission exploring her house with her daughter, but that's the last you'll see of her too. Oh, and the daughter of one of another major (male) ally did try to break into the submarine base off-screen ‒ but she got captured, and you'll have to rescue her, and that's the end of her role. For a game that wears the influences of the X-Files and Ghost in the Shell on its sleeve, by people who obviously knew women could be badass cyborgs, scientists, doctors, and major political players, the lack of effort here is just insulting.

I wish I could be positive about the final-boss-that-isn't, where the game lets you loose in an arena with unlimited time and a whole list of threats and objectives to worry about. It's unconventional in all sorts of ways that I'd love to see experimented with more, and it plays far more into DX's strengths than, well, any of the other boss fights we've had so far. But in practice, you’re left trying to navigate an incomprehensible space with 3 different sets of completely unintuitive directions to follow in order to pick your ending, and figuring out what the damn game actually wanted me to do was just such an exercise in frustration. Giving me infinite time in which to find and shut down all the enemy-spawning chambers and still be hopelessly lost isn't really what I'm looking for from a big finale.

But just to emphasise once again: I honestly don’t think Deus Ex was a bad game – there were parts of it I loved! But it was an uncomfortable experience in so many ways that I just don’t get the hype. The gameplay and level design were solid, but the characters are flat, the worldbuilding is mostly just a bunch of conspiracies stacked in a pile, the plot is mostly a rote excuse to get you from one location to the next, and the philosophy is murky at best. And killing people is wrong, but only if you're killing the wrong people, or if you're doing it while working for the government, or something.

Look, I'd be the last to tell anyone they're wrong to love a game for whatever random personal reasons it happens to appeal to them, but even with the value of nostalgia – and I say this as someone who was installing emulators way back in the 90’s – was Deus Ex really that revolutionary? There are so many other games from before 2000 that have memorable stories and characters, that tackle anti-corporate themes, that give you big choices and respond to what you do in unexpected ways, that involve complex RPG mechanics, etc. And even allowing for everything DX does well, I don’t get the insistence that it’s still the Best Game Ever. I don’t get how people are supposedly still discovering it and loving it just as much even today. Was it really that mind-blowing to have your boss call you out for going in the women's loos?

So at the end of the day, all I can admit is that I don’t really get it. I think it might be, like, a guy thing. IDEK.

#Deus Ex #meta #yet another very long Deus Ex meta post

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cienie-isengardu · 3 years

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Alpha & Cody and how they addressed or talked about Anakin in Legends sources (2002-2005/6)

Back in the old days (2002-2005/6), the books and comics did not focus that much on clone troopers. Of the few named that interacted with Generals Kenobi and Skywalker,

ARC trooper Alpha was introduced in Star Wars: Republic comics series (#50-52, 55, 60, 62, 2003-2004) and later showed up in Obsession (2004-2005)

Cody was introduced in Labyrinth of the Evil (January, 2005) and included in Revenge of the Sith (April, 2005).

The source material was limited, and so direct interaction between Cody or Alpha and Anakin. In the case of Alpha, he and Anakin knew each other almost from the start of war and worked on various occasions, from Defense of Kamino (2 months after Battle of Geonosis) to Battle of Boz Pity (5 months before RotS). Cody took part in campaigns such as “Aargonar, Praesitlyn, Paracelus Minor, Antar 4, Tibrin, Skor II, and dozens of other worlds from Core to Outer Rim”. The Battle of Aargonar (Republic #59: Enemy Lines) and Praesitlyn (Jedi Trial) were two battles that Anakin took part in without Obi-Wan Kenobi. Which means both Alpha and Cody have ties to Anakin when he was still a padawan (commander).

One of the funny things from Legends is how in the limited source material Cody and Alpha addressed / talked about Anakin Skywalker - a Jedi General, their superior - in-between battles.

During a mission on the enemy territory (LotE), Cody did follow the standard protocol and used military ranks and a polite “sirs” to both Kenobi and Skywalker. Similarly, Obi-Wan addressed him back as commander, while Anakin seemed to not bother using rank whatsoever: either addressed the soldiers as “you” (which I suspect may sounds now rude, maybe even impersonally since beside Cody no clone was named in the text) or calling Cody just by name ("Where did you say Obi-Wan and Cody are?")

But then there is RotS and this moment:

"I can keep them distracted for quite some time," Obi-Wan had told Cody on the flight deck of Vigilance. "Just don't take too long."

"Come on, boss," Cody had said, smiling out of Jango Fett's face, "have I ever let you down?"

"Well-" Obi-Wan had said with a slim answering smile, "Cato Neimoidia, for starters ..."

"That was Anakin's fault; he was the one who was late ..."

"Oh? And who will you blame it on this time?" Obi-Wan had chuckled as he climbed into his starfighter's cockpit and strapped himself in. "Very well, then. I'll try not to destroy all the droids before you get there."

"I'm counting on you, boss. Don't let me down."

"Have I ever?"

"Well," Cody had said with a broad grin, "there was Cato Neimoidia . . ."

In which Kenobi is called the “boss” while Anakin is referred to by name by Cody. No general, no master, not even Skywalker. Just Anakin. And the fact that Cody doesn’t use any military rank to address both Jedi shows the informal aspect of their relationship. Which is even more interesting considering how the scene played in the movie.

In the film, to my despair, the mention of Anakin and Cato Neimoidia was cut off from full dialogue but Cody talked with Obi-Wan about General Skywalker with a few other clones around, like he was talking about their mutual friend rather than the most famous Jedi General who saved Chancellor and killed Dooku not so ago.

Then, we have Alpha.

Frankly, Alpha from the start had a more informal relationship with Anakin which was influenced by several factors - including the fact that when they met they were more or less on equal ground and most likely because of that ARC trooper nor Anakin addressed each other by rank even in later stage of war (in contrast, Alpha usually referred Obi-Wan as General Kenobi). Which is fine, because despite a rocky start, a mutual respect developed between them so it makes sense they allowed themselves to act less informal in their own (and Kenobi) company.

But then we have Star Wars: Obsession #4, and room full of Jedi Masters - the generals

talking between each other about the mission

with Alpha adding his own input

and calling Anakin Skywalker - Jedi Knight and higher rank - the kid in front of dozens of other generals / Jedi Masters.

(In all fairness, Alpha called Anakin the kid on a few occasions which in itself is hilarious considering the fact Skywalker was older than him by 10 years).

The source material related to Clone Wars released around Prequels gave little examples of direct interaction between Anakin and those two named clones. Yet, even with so limited materials to work with and different types of media (books and comics), old canon at least imply that Anakin were on good terms with both Alpha and Cody, to the point both could and did address or talk about him in less formal (no military rank) way and were called by him in similar fashion, by their names.

Which is a true shame the relationship between Anakin and Cody or Alpha is so often underrated or worse, not acknowledged.

#star wars #anakin skywalker #commander cody #alpha #anakin and clones #anakin and cody #anakin and alpha #star wars legends #provided limited material sources about direct interaction between anakin and clones #alpha get the most of it i guess #but the fact that even with so limited material #we see clones talking differently to ror #or*#about anakin #in contrast to general kenobi #strongly implies #there is some good relationship between him and clones #which is why it kills me when i see on tumblr #fanon (or is that coming from tcw / new canon?)#how cody hates working with anakin #LOL #where people get that from I wonder...?#cato neimoidia #is a funny story #cody called anakin for help #while kenobi get separated and kinda get drugged and destroyed battle droids by himself #and anakin did not capture cis leaders because he decided to help obi wan and cody

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britishassistant · 3 years

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First time Cater meet Yuu, he probably followed them on magicam and he just kept tabs on the, then one day realizes through a few posts realizing that damn, this newspaper job doesn’t even cover dental insurance. And then then next day Royal Flush’s second in command floods yuu’s office building with tea or something because for the sake of the seven, give your employees some dental insurance. Yuu then gets sent a basketful of dental hygiene supplies and a Royal Flush ™ toothbrush lol

Thank you for the ask, dear anon!

It’s just self-preservation at first. The reporter doesn’t post on Magicam often, but any scrap of info Cater can gather could be the difference between Royal-kun’s scheme of the week getting ruined or going off without a hitch. Riddle is also happier whenever he has an excuse to kidnap Yuu, so it’s Cater’s job to be eagle-eyed enough to find the “rule-breaking” to justify said urge.

(He most certainly doesn’t spend a while scrolling through the pictures of their parents’ many, many dogs in their archive, cooing at all the good boys and girls and liking an inordinate number of the posts. Certainly not. That would be unprofessional, and Cay-kun is never anything but professional~!)

But then there’s small details that slip through when Yuu posts while on the job. Never anything explicitly complaining about the conditions of their office, nothing that could get them called in by HR, but little snippets that niggle at the part of Cater’s brain that appreciate the work benefits he’s blessed with.

They post a picture of an older woman smiling in a somewhat pained manner at the camera while that well-built cameraman throws up a peace sign in the background with the caption: “Congrats and good luck on your wisdom teeth op tomorrow @TWSTBossLady!! Fight on!! (ง'̀-'́)ง”

Ace is poking fun at the fact that Yuu is celebrating a simple matter like this in the comments. Yuu scolds him to be nice, saying that it took a while for their boss to save up for the operation and so it’s worthy of celebration. They seem very protective of their superior.

Deuce asks why their boss would be the one needing to save up for a thing like that, doesn’t their workplace dental cover it?

Yuu shoots back a discreetly worded text that boils down to “must be nice to have a job that provides dental and healthcare insurance”.

Cater has to reread it several times just to be sure he’s not misinterpreting anything.

He goes and looks up what workplace unions the TWST news station falls under the purview of, and sucks in his teeth at the records of an angry looking man, who the company website id’s as Yuu’s superior’s superior, passing several rules that means any and all attempts to unionize will basically result in an instant firing. Their HR department is worryingly understaffed too...

Then Cater goes to find Trey-kun.

He knows that guy’s gonna want in on this.

Riddle scolds them both a lot when it’s done, but it doesn’t nearly have the heat of when he’s really mad.

He seems more judgy that they flooded the news station with green tea rather than any other kind, though Trey-kun said that was the ideal tea for dealing with oral bacteria and so would send the message best.

Either the big angry boss man gives his employees dental, or they let him stew in the tea that’s been rising outside his office for a while now. It’s entirely his choice to sign the new policies, and everyone else is safely out of the building thanks to one of his clones setting off the fire alarm.

Royal appreciates it much more once Yuu calls in a panic to know what it will take to get him to stop “his” scheme on their workplace, slipping into his “yes I am an evil supervillain who planned this all along look at me and be awed” mode.

Chen’ya saves the day, eventually, but not until after the big angry boss man has signed the papers, and the hero strongly recommends he not try to overturn the decision he’s made unless he’s ready for retaliation of the nyasty kind from the supervillains. Even that annoying cat can have his uses sometimes, Cater supposes.

It’s Ace’s idea to send the reporter a “care package” of dental care stuff as a reminder of this little adventure. Trey-kun takes care of the contents, and Deuce-kun runs it over to their apartment before the reporter can get back.

Cater can’t help but crack up at the post of Yuu barely hiding their amusement as they hold up a toothbrush with Royal’s face and insignia stamped all over it, with a caption that asks if they’re supposed to read anything into this.

He comments, “Dental hygiene is important, Yuu-chan! 😌😘♦️”

#ask #twisted wonderland #twst #supervillain au #cater diamond #twst cater #trey clover #twst trey #ace trappola #twst ace #deuce spade #twst deuce #riddle rosehearts #twst riddle #royal flush #twst chenya #chenya #twisted wonderland yuu #twst yuu

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reallybadfeeling · 3 years

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My Obikin Playlist Masterpost

I'm gonna try to explain my reasoning, but you can give each song whatever interpretation you want. Also, use them however you want if any of them inspire you to make something creative.

(PS: Sorry for my ranting on the first song. I'm very passionate about it in particular.) (Tagging @imtryingsstuff because she asked for it. Even though I was already working on this post before she asked. I have way too much free time.)

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❧ Heart + Bones - Roisin O

I've tried to sit down and write this song out Feels like a thousand times But I was always too scare of what I might find But if I keep on blocking this pain out It might be too late To heal my heart somehow Don't wanna open that wound Don't wanna replay that night Don't wanna think about you You are no longer mine Don't wanna write you a love song When I know that love is gone 'Cause if I let myself think of you I might lose my mind It's the heart and bones It's an empty soul The dreams at night that shake me to my core And I can't get up off this floor It's in the bones of me An empty soul in me The dreams at night that shake me to my core I can't get off this floor [...] Don't wanna think about you When you're no longer mine Don't wanna write you a love song When I know this love is gone [...] The dreams at night that shake me to my core I just can't take this hurting anymore [...] Don't wanna think about you You are no longer mine Don't wanna write you a love song When I know this love is gone 'Cause if I let my mind think of you I might lose it all I've tries to sit down and write this song out Feels like a thousand times

A fair warning: each and every break-up song in this playlist is basically me crying at the idea of a very heart broken Obi-Wan post RotS alone on Tatooine. But for this song in particolar I mention the repetitions with the slight differences because in my eyes they are actually HUGE! The more the song goes on, the more Obi-Wan is spiraling! The way it specifically tells that the empty soul is his the second time, like he accepts that despite what Anakin did he still thinks there's a soul there to save, and the idea of not doing so makes his soul feel empty. And the switch from "get up off this floor" to "get off this floor", literally him being so desperate he stops thinking that he wants to get up (and the last time it literally becomes "i just can't take this hurting anymore", because Obi-Wan had to see so many people he loves die, he literally can't take any more breaking of his heart). The first "you are no longer mine" is the realization hitting him, but then it becomes "when you are no longer mine" and that feels like acceptance of that realization (but then later in the song it turns back to "you are no longer mine" like he's so desperate he wants to deny it once again, distance himself from it)! The switch from "that love" from "this love", like the first time he's thinking about how Anakin no longer loves him, but then realizes that no matter how much he still loves Anakin, there is actually nothing he can do about how everything is broken. But most of all the first time it's "if I let myself think of you I might lose my mind", which is Obi-Wan still being rational about things, or at least trying not to let his mind linger on the thought of Anakin; but then at the end it becomes "if I let my mind think of you I might lose it all", because he's already thinking about Anakin and he can't let his mind linger on it, otherwise he would realize how much he lost when he lost Anakin, which is everything. And the ending too, by repeating the start, but now it has a feeling of resignation to it, like at first he was literally scared to let himself linger on his feelings because he knew he would find heart break, but now he's just empty and at the same times he knows he'll feel like that a thousand times more, because he just can't let that hurt go, he can't let his love for Anakin be forgotten. ... I love this song and it shows. I mean, the playlist is literally named after it for a good reason. I swear I'll be less wordy for every other explanation.

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❧ Black Hole - Griff

It seems like things are going really well for you I wish that I could say the same about me too I wish that I could say the same [...] Without a trace You disappeared and took some of me with you, babe Like the way I used to laugh untile my belly ached Well, that's all gone away now And boy, you know I've tried to pray, I've bruised my knees I've tried to bring you back to me I've tried my best to find some kind of peace Don't you see? There's a big black hole where my heart used to be And I've tried my best to fill it up with things I don't need It don't work like that, no, it's not easy To fill this gap that you left in me

So, I see this as a song for an AU, maybe a Modern Au. Something basic like the two of them maybe being neighbors and Obi-Wan maybe being a tutor for Anakin when he was a teen, and Anakin having a huge crush on him. But then Obi-Wan marries and Anakin is heart broken. (Don't worry the idea is also that Obi-Wan gets a divorce and comes back to Anakin, but still, the song fits for the first part of this idea). But feel free to see whatever else you want in it.

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❧ Gone, Gone, Gone - Phillip Phillips

I'll lie, cheat, I'll beg and bride To make you well, to make you well When enemies are at your door I'll carry you away from war [...] Give me reasons to believe That you would do the same for me And I will do it for you, for you Baby, I'm not moving on I'll love you long after you're gone

This is honestly a classic. It would fit with any ship, but that line about lying, cheating, etc... That screams Anakin. Like, literally canon that he would do anything to keep the person he loves with him.

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❧ What You Talking About? - Peter Bjorn and John

You used to be my hero Now you're just another boss [...] Five years as your understudy When I can't understand what you talking about [...] Tell me lies and I will listen Tell the truth and I'll be gone Tell me why I need permission [...] Shining in your shadow How could I sink this low? Our acquaintance has been so-so And I can't understand where my patience's gone

These lyrics just give me very frustrated Anakin as a Padawan trying to navigate his relationship with Obi-Wan. Not very romantic or shippy, but still relevant in my opinion.

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❧ Bruci la città - Irene Grandi

(Let) The city burn down or live in fear (that) within two hours everything will disappear anything else will disappear [...] I can't stop (myself) from screaming That I hold you to my heart To protect you from evil That I wish I could soothe Your pain, your pain [...] (Let) The stars explode (Let) The whole thing explode (Let) Everything other than the two of us die At least for a little bit At least as a mistake [...] I want to get my act together Maybe be better And shield you with my heart From catastrophe and fear

Don't really know why, but this makes me think of a quiet moment in the middle of the Clone Wars, just Anakin and Obi-Wan alone in a tent, hoping to have a moment of peace in each other's arms. (If you want the full lyrics translated let me know, I just picked my favorite parts)

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❧ Atlantis - Seafret

We got here the hard way All those words that we exchange Is it any wonder things get dark? 'Cause it's in my heart, it's in my head I never take back the things I said [...] I can't save us My Atlantis, we fall We've built this town on shaky ground [...] Now all the birds have fled The hurt just leaves me scared Losing everything I've ever known It's all become too much Maybe I'm not built for love If I knew that I could reach you, I would go

SO MUCH OBI-WAN ANGST POST-ROTS! Like, the birds that have fled are the Jedi that survived Order 66, the things impossible to take back a reference to the entire conversation between Anakin and Obi-Wan during their duel... And the one thing that always breaks me: "maybe I'm not built for love", which makes me think about that "infinte sadness" thing that comes from one of the novels. *chef kiss*

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❧ No Time To Die - Billie Eilish

I should have known I'd leave alone Just goes to show That the blood you bleed is just the blood you owe We were a pair [...] You were my life, but like is far away from fair Was I stupid to love you? Was I reckless to help? Was it obvious to everybody else? That I'd fallen for a lie You were never on my side [...] I let it burn You're no longer my concern Faces from my past return Another lesson yet to learn

Don't know about you, but this always makes me think of a lonely and bitter Obi-Wan after RotS. There's also another way of reading this honestly. This could absolutely be Anakin spiraling at the end of RotS, convinced that Padmé doesn't love him anymore; and then Vader facing Luke (the face from the past returning) and realizing the one who always lied to him was Palpatine.

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❧ White Flag - Dido

I know I left too much mess and Destruction to come back again And I caused nothing but trouble I understand if you can't talk to me again And if you live by the rules of "it's over" Then I'm sure that that makes sense But I will go down with this ship And I won't put my hands up and surrender There will be no white flag above my door I'm in love and always will be And when we meet Which I'm sure we will All that was there Will be there still I'll let it pass And hold my tongue And you will think That I've moved on

There's no doubt that this song has been overused. And it is a very classic meme, so sometimes it's hard to take it seriously. But I still love it. And I can't help but relate this to something with Vader trying to redeem himself but failing at that too, and his and Obi-Wan's relationship still being broken as fuck.

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❧ Fight the End - The playground

When it's all falling apart I'll be the one who can hold you Console you When everything's getting dark And you can't find the spark To get through I'll fight for you till the end Whatever's broken I'll mend For you If you think it's all gone Just breathe in and hold on Till the end of time

Once again, just some H/C during the Clone Wars kind vibes, but also good for an apocalypse AU of some kind.

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❧ Hanging On A Lie - Striking Matches

I'm not mentioning a specific part of this song, because the entire thing in my head is just the whole journey of Anakin turning to the Dark Side and then turning back to the Light right before he died. Seriously, up until the first chorus, it's just Anakin talking about what he feels like about Padmé's supposed betrayal. ("Baby you've been up to something / don't you tell me it's not what it looks like" but also "I might have been naive but I'm not blind" and "Don't you know you should know better than this / Than to cover up the truth with your poisonous lips/I'm not falling for it this time"). The second half of the song is Vader facing Luke. ("I'll be the one who got away from you when you / finally figure it out / you won't find me"). And the last part is Vader realizing all the lies Palpatine told him all alon. ("I'm not fallin' for it this time/try and try too little too late" and again the "you should know better than this/than to cover up the truth with you poisonous lips") A bit of a weird interpretation, that's for sure. But look at me making a song about cheating all about Anakin's journey!

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❧ Bloodsport '15 - Raleigh Ritchie

Your love is worth it and for that I will wait And though you hate me when you have a turn I drive you crazy, but you always return [...] Although you love me, sometimes we're mean Things can get ugly, but we're still a team We are an army that breaks from withing but That's why we're stronger and that's how we'll win [...] I've got your back, and though it's stacked against us I've got your hand, it's us against consensus And I will burn the people who hurt you the worst and I will no learn Cause I am too young and too dumb to consider the terms of breaking the law And I'll curse the day that they return With a smile on my face as their heads hit the floor And they're done, now it's curtains, the bloodlust's a clusterfuck, it hurts but it's working And even if you ask me to stop, it's too late because I've already decided their fate It's not a distaste, it's pure hate and it pulsates and it works its way around my brain Anyway, what I'm trying to say is I'll protect you till the day I meet my maker So don't fight me now cause you might need me later Loving you is a bloodsport Fighting in a love war It's not what I'm in love for, I'm yours I don't know if you can help it, maybe I'm just being selfish

Soooo, basically Anakin doing to Obi-Wan what he did to Padmé: loving him so much he thinks he has to turn to the Dark Side to save him. The first part I can almost imagine said by Obi-Wan, actually. Like, he's aware that sometimes Anakin hates their dynamics, but also that they are both in love... Which just ends with total madness.

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❧ Sweet Love of Mine - Joy Williams

I was broken, I was blind Lost in a moment I thought I left behind Then you woke up this dark soul of mine Carrying a light I thought I'd never find When you found me, I was all alone The whole world around me, but nowhere to call home I heard your voice sing like heaven's choir Gathered up my fears and threw them in the fire

I'm well aware this song is about pregnancy and how the singer found herself in the experience of becoming a mother. BUT, hear me out: what about an AU with either one of them being a Sith and the other one is still a Jedi. Instead of fighting each other, the Jedi tries to save the Sith, because they realize that the Sith actually never had a chance to be anything else since they grew up with a Sith as their "parent" and Master. But if we still want to keep the pregnancy element, fuck it! It's perfect for an Omegaverse AU, with Anakin maybe about to fall when he finds out he's pregnant and that is how Obi-Wan and their unborn child save Anakin. (Is this very specific? Yes. Do I care? Nope, and that's why this song made it into the playlist.)

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❧ Senza fare sul serio - Malika Ayane

There's a post on my blog already about why this song makes me think about the Jedi Order in general. I know I should probably keep it in a different playlist. Alas, it's still here. Have a link to my previous post if you are interested on reading a complete translation and the explanation of my reasoning. HERE!

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❧ Conversations in the Dark - John Legend

I will never try to change you, change you I will always want the same you, same you Swear on everything I pray to That I won't break your heart I'll be there when you get lonely, lonely Keep the secrets that you told me, told me And your love is all you owe me And I won't break your heart [...] And we, we got places we both gotta be But there ain't nothing I would rather do Then blow off all my plans for you

It's just such a lovely love song, I couldn't help myself. This seriously gives me sappy Obi-Wan vibes in any way, shape or form.

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❧ If You Ever Leave, I'm Coming With You - The Wombats

You know I'll do Whatever you want me to [...] Take you out of this You reluctant optimist And if you ever leave, I'm coming with you Stuck to the gum that's stuck on your shoe If you ever leave, I'm coming with you [...] Am I losing you in the dark baby? No more breaking stuff No more acting up Filling your head with doubt

A song about the obsessive kind of love that hints of a way too dependent relationship? Something that mentions losing themselves in the dark? Of fucking course I relate this to Anakin and the way he loves people!

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❧ Transplant - Sea Girls

You're breaking all the promises tonight I'm always dancing by myself as the music plays I'm always one step behind, off-beat, out of place Now I'm looking for you, you're looking away [...] Your heart changed Mine stayed the same I don't recognize your voice when you're saying my name Your heart changed And mine beats the same way [...] Wish I could be back in the moment We were shining, we were making mistakes 'Til your heart changed Mine stayed the same

Have I mentioned that I have a lot of RotS feels? Yeah, so, in my head the "dancing" works like an analogy to fighting and the "music" is literally the sound of battle. Which is why this fits perfectly as far as I'm concerned. An even the "always one step behind" part is just Obi-Wan not realizing Anakin was slowly turning to the Dark Side. But it can be related also to how Anakin basically felt like he didn't truly belong with the Jedi.

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❧ Read my Mind - JONES

Can't control my thoughts But I'm trying every day [...] But sometimes I want impossible things When you hear my voice, what does it say? Need a language, we're lost in translation From impossible thoughts and feelings Why don't you know before I know? What I need to say, before I can How come you don't have the answer Before I asked you the question? Wish you could read my mind [...] It's been a long time since we've been together In the same world, just want you to look at me Like I was everything you ever wanted again [...] Just hold me like I'm everything you wanted again

A good song of the two people pining will always make me think of those two dorks. And their feeling are definitely lost in translation even in canon, with Anakin never realizing how much Obi-Wan actually cares for him because of Palpatine's manipulations.

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❧ So Much It Hurts - Niki & The Dove

Oh, I ask you where you've been 'Cause you always come home late nowadays What a fool was I to think we were safe From the thieves in the temple [...] Oh, won't you bring it back? After all that we've been through together Is it now you gonna throw it all away? Oh, a love like ours Tell me, was it worth it? Oh, the thieves in the temple Oh, but you said that For better for worse You would always be there for me Always be there for me Always be there for me like I'll always be there for you Good times and bad times

So this screams Padmé being cheated on. Like, Anakin still married to her, yet he is always sneaking away after they spend time together to be in the Temple with Obi-Wan. Like, Obi-Wan is literally the thief in the Temple that steals Anakin away from her. (Which I'm sure is actually a metaphor for how the couples' marriage is the temple and someone is disrespecting it by taking away the other's lover. But look at me making this literal, 'cause why not!).

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❧ Power & Control - Marina

Give a little, get a lot That's just how you are with love [...] Think you're funny, think you're smart Think you're gonna break my heart Think you're funny, think you're smart Yeah, you may be good looking But you're not a piece of art [...] Power and control I'm gonna make you fall I'm gonna make you fall We give and take a little more 'Cause all my life I've been controlled You can't have peace without a war

Another song for an AU, this time one with both of them being Sith, most likely being enemies too at first. Before they decide to work together against Anakin's Master.

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❧ No Hero - Elisa

Don't you shut your eyes And hide you heart behind a shadow 'Cause you can count on me As long as I can breathe [...] I've fallen from grace Yeah, I'm much less a saint than a sinner Oh, no I ain't no superhuman 'Cause that's just in the movies, I know But I'll carry you throught the night Through the storm Give you love, always love in return I can't jump over buildings I'm no hero But love can do miracles I can't outrun a bullet 'Cause I'm no hero But I would take one for you [...] 'Cause I'm no hero But I'd spill my blood for you If you need me to I'll be there

Another song from an Italian artist, but this one is in English! And I totally see this song for a scenario where one of the two isn't a Jedi or even for a Modern AU. But it can totally work for Canon compliant too because Anakin is the one every calls hero with no fear. It fits then if Obi-Wan tells Anakin that he doesn't feel like a hero, but he would do anything for Anakin.

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SOOOO, this post is getting way to long (like, it was way too long even just with the first song). And I made it to an even 20 songs. I feel like this a nice place to stop for now. Don't worry, these are just the first 20. I have more in my private playlist, but I want to make another post like this when I add them to the public one. Because I can. And that's what I'm gonna do.

#obikin #obikin playlist #star wars #obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #if you do anything with these song please TAG ME!#I wanna know!#i get very emotional for heart + bones #it's one of my favorite song ever #the subtle poetry of it gets to me every single time #that is THE break up song #fight me over it #maybe I should have made a single post about it #that would have been smarter #oh well #also sorry for the truly terrible icon #i have no photoshop skill whatsoever #Spotify

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scottymcgeesterwrites · 3 years

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ScottyMcGeester Plays Every Final Fantasy Game*

*Okay, all the main games except 11 and 14 since they are online only, and also no spinoffs or sequels.

THE INTRODUCTION

Years ago, I had a goal to finish every Final Fantasy game. As of December 30, 2020, I finally reached that goal. I originally started posting these reviews way back in 2017 on VGF(VIdeo Game Forums), and posted one review after another as I completed each game. I had already finished a few before I started reviewing the series, such as Final Fantasy I, II, VI, IX, and X.

Final Fantasy X was my very first Final Fantasy game, way back when it first came out on the PS2. It took me years to finish that game, mostly because I was still a novice at RPGs and I didn’t quite know what I was doing. Still, the world and concepts of Final Fantasy gripped me. As a sci-fi/fantasy writer, they inspired tons of elements in my stories. The series spans a multitude of genre-bending stories – sci-fi, fantasy, some steampunk, modern fantasy, space, traditional fantasy with knights in armor – and a whole lot of crystals. I wrote these reviews as if you have no idea what Final Fantasy is – whether you are a gamer or non-gamer. This first post is a general introduction to the series as a whole, but even if you are a die-hard fan already, there are some things that I explore that I hope you'll find interesting. What is Final Fantasy? Final Fantasy is a roleplay video game series that started back in 1987. The first game was reminiscent of Dungeons and Dragons, where you could choose one of six roles for a team of four: White Mage, Black Mage, Red Mage, Thief, Monk and Warrior. Square, now known as Square Enix, developed the game. A legendary rumor about the title “Final Fantasy” comes from the story that they were on the verge of bankruptcy. They only had money for one more game, a fantasy game. They dubbed it “Final Fantasy.” This apocryphal story is nowhere near true. Square had made video games before and they didn’t do well, but the company itself wasn’t on the verge of bankruptcy. What happened was that the developer, Hironobu Sakaguchi, had planned to retire. He didn’t see any foreseeable future in video gaming with Square’s mediocre performance. He wanted to make a fantasy game and dubbed it “Final Fantasy”, since it was to be his personal last work. He also wanted the game to be abbreviated as “FF” – they originally had “Fighting Fantasy” in mind but that name was already trademarked by a board game. Final Fantasy initially sold 400,000 copies in Japan and became and instant hit. Nintendo of America approached Square to release a localized version for the states. Final Fantasy became far from Sakaguchi’s last game. What’s Final Fantasy about? Every main Final Fantasy game has a new story with new characters and even new gameplay. Some games have direct sequels and are recognizable with a subtitle, or an additional number following a dash. For example, there is Final Fantasy VII, and the direct sequel to that Dirge of Cerberus: Final Fantasy VII. There's a direct sequel to Final Fantasy X titled Final Fantasy X-2. But even though each Final Fantasy game is different, there are still central elements that make them a Final Fantasy game. You can’t just write up a random fantasy story and slap the Final Fantasy name on it. The following elements are what make a Final Fantasy game. Some are obvious while others not so much. Chocobos:

Chocobos were first introduced in Final Fantasy II, but have been present ever since. They are cute, large birds that the characters often ride across fields or sometimes call into battle. They have practically become the mascot of the series. Moogles, Cactuars and Tonberries – oh my!

Moogles (pictured above) are telepathic creatures that help the players, or sometimes they can be a playable character. They debuted in Final Fantasy III.

Cactuars (right) and Tonberries (left) are cute, unassuming enemies that are actually highly dangerous, killing you in one shot if you are not careful or fast enough. The former debuted in Final Fantasy VI while the latter debuted in Final Fantasy V. Summons:

Sometimes they go by different names, like eidolons or espers. Summons are massive, fantastic beasts that you can call upon to aide you in battle to fight the enemy. Summons became a staple ever since Final Fantasy III. In some games, they are merely there to call into battle, while in other games they are central to the story. Airships:

Airships have been present since the first game. They are massive boat-looking airplanes. In the more recent games, airships look almost like spaceships.

Cid:

With the exception of the original Final Fantasy (except in later remakes), every game has a character named Cid. Cid is typically the character who owns an airship.

Items and Magic Spells:

Each game shares virtually all the same items and magic spells. Antidotes. Eye drops. Maiden's kiss. Holy water. Phoenix Down is well-known for reviving knocked-out characters in battle. The spells follow a hierarchy of levels. For example, Cure is the basic spell to heal somebody. The second level spell for healing is Cura. Then Curaga. Then finally Curaja. Most other spells follow the same format. The same high-level spells also frequently appear throughout the games, such as Holy and Flare.

Crystals:

With a few exceptions, crystals appear in nearly every game. They often serve as plot devices, whether they be the force that protects the planet or powerful objects coveted by the enemy. They also oftentimes have a consciousness of their own, communicating with the characters and calling them to their destiny.

Mythological References:

Final Fantasy is riddled with mythological references. Many summons and creatures take the names of mythological creatures or deities, such as Shiva, Bahamut, Leviathan, Behemoth, Odin, and Ifrit. Certain villains share the names of mythological figures or they are derived from certain mythological concepts, such as Gilgamesh and Sephiroth. Many of the games have legendary weapons you can find near the end of the journey. These are typically named after legendary Japanese figures, such as Masamune and Yoichi, or other world mythologies, such as Thor’s hammer Mjolnir. Saving the World:

Final Fantasy isn’t about saving a particular princess, or person for that matter. The ultimate goal is to save the entire world, or even the very fabric of reality. Evil spreads in many ways, such as a sealed darkness trying to break free, empires with ambitious goals, villainous subordinates who pull the strings of politics, or empires destroying the environment. Typically, the main cast consists of characters from all walks of life. They all have to learn to work together and get through their personal struggles to save the world. Existential Crisis (or Startling Revelation):

By the time you reach the third act of a Final Fantasy game, some startling revelation forces the characters to question their very existence. A villain is revealed to be a hero’s family member, a main character realizes they're a clone, another realizes that they cannot live without magic, etc. Typically, the main character questions the nature of their soul, if they die like regular beings and become part of some greater life force, or blink out into oblivion. Whatever the revelation may be – it serves as a final crisis that the characters have to overcome. The Descent into Hell:

Every third act of a Final Fantasy game ends with what I like to call a “descent into hell”. The final dungeon is always some kind of bizarre world. In Final Fantasy II, you literally descend into hell to fight the Emperor. Throughout the series, hell is more metaphorical. The final dungeons can be a massive, sprawling tower or dreadnought, or a strange dimension that appears to have no rhyme or reason. Sometimes I'm reminded of M.C. Escher’s work, “Relativity”, or sometimes it reminds me of some cosmic horror featured in the Cthulhu Mythos. These final dungeons can be inter-dimensional rifts between space and times, pockets in reality, subterranean depths, insane worlds that the villain created, and worlds of darkness. (Final Fantasy IX's Memoria)

(M.C. Escher's “Relativity”)

These stylistic approaches for the final dungeon represent the oncoming battle with the forces of chaos. Fighting God:

After venturing through the surreal and hellish final dungeon, you face the main villain. The main villain always achieves godlike status or the characters actually have to defeat a god in order to save the world from its oppressive reign. Many stories appear to throw in a last minute ultimate god who was pulling the strings of the plot the entire time. The purpose of dealing with gods and goddesses represents the characters’ desire to control their own fate and alter their destiny. Most of these bosses are strange and grotesque, definitely getting a Cthulhu vibe from them. I looked at them and thought, "Christ, what the hell is THAT supposed to be?"

It always feels like THE final fantasy:

Each game, no matter what happens or how it happens, feels like the be-all-end-all of its story – its fictional universe. Direct sequels were unheard of until Final Fantasy X-2, which while fun, was wildly different in tone from the original game, and critics pointed out that it ruined the finality of Final Fantasy X. This is one reason why I think direct sequels to Final Fantasy games fail – what else could the main characters possibly face that is more dangerous than the one they just encountered? Anything else would feel like child’s play to them. NOTABLE PEOPLE Aside from the characters, stories and games themselves, the people behind the series have achieved legendary status. Nobuo Uematsu:

The original composer of Final Fantasy. Uematsu single-handedly scored the first 9 Final Fantasy games. Uematsu surprisingly never had any formal training in music – a trait that would ostracize any composer, such as Danny Elfman. I find that the those who haven't had any formal training usually break the mold with music. Uematsu started working for Square at around 25 for the first Final Fantasy game, starting out with nothing and never suspecting his job would lead him where he is now. His music is unique for incorporating elements of classic and progressive rock, specifically in the battle themes. Uematsu’s themes for each game have achieved instant recognition in the gaming world, as recognizable as the theme to Star Wars or James Bond. Tetsuya Nomura:

Tetsuya Nomura is a video game designer and director who started at Square in 1990. He rose to prominence when he was given full control of designing the characters for Final Fantasy VII – arguably the most popular Final Fantasy game to date because of its characters: Cloud Strife, Tifa Lockhart, Vincent Valentine and Sephiroth. Nomura went on to create more legendary characters for Final Fantasy VIII, X and XIII. Yoshitaka Amano:

Amano is the artist whose work is most known now in Final Fantasy. He has done concept art and design for every game in the series. His style is instantly recognizable. He has also drawn for many anime shows, comics and mangas, such as Vampire Hunter D and Sandman: The Dream Hunters.

And last but certainly not least - THE MUSIC Final Fantasy has left its mark in the musical soundtrack of video games. Each game more or less shares three of the same memorable tracks.

The Prelude:

youtube

The Victory Fanfare:

youtube

The Final Fantasy Main Theme:

youtube

THE REVIEWS

Each review I post will critique major aspects of each Final Fantasy game, such as its gameplay, graphics, story, and music. Today is currently January 3, 2020 (technically the 4th when I post this because it’s past midnight), and I will be posting one review per day so as to not lose my sanity editing and formatting everything at once here. So look forward to the very first review tomorrow starting with the very first Final Fantasy game.

#final fantasy #final fantasy v #final fantasy vi #final fantasy vii #final fantasy vii remake #final fantasy xv #final fantasy xvi #tifa loc #cloud strife #sephiroth #nobuo uematsu #video games #sony playstation #playstation 5 #final fantasy x #onvideogames

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atalante241 · 4 years

Text

List of things that happened in Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu that probably need explaining if somebody who hasn’t seen the show heard about them, and are kinda dark

A character went insane

A characters father beat him to near death

God was the child of two divorced parents who were fighting for custody, and he liked the mom more

A child befriends a cannibal

One character has 3/4/5 clones and an army of clones as well, 2 armies actually one of the armies is dead, the original army died, the original one the clones were made of died and a clone that held the originals memories and everything took his place

A grown ass magical man tried-to-marry/married a teenage girl

The entire nation is aware of the child soldiers there, and they celebrate it

God didn’t do his chores and gave them to a child instead

A teenager is in actuality a 9 year old in a trench coat

The sewers are a better place to live than the surface

A teenager/young adult died because of gas

A pair of parents were kidnapped leaving a pair of toddlers to fend for themselves

A father gave his own child amnesia

There was a nationwide war at one point, nobody remembered it until it almost came a 2nd time

Gods child became poisoned by evil

God fought in a war once, the continent (a.k.a entire world) was SPLIT IN HALF because of it

God technically tried to kill his grandson by inviting him to the land of the dead when he almost died

A main character died and almost was forgotten by everyone

An ally of the main characters kidnapped a main character and an ally and then sold them to the person who ordered it

A character was killed on screen

There was a show for hunting enemies of the empire, it made the people turn to the emperors side and away from the main characters for their own safety and comfort

A character was trapped in a game longer than his age when he first got trapped

A mother abandons her child

A character has a brother that’s technically a clone, but doesn’t know about them but their friend does and hasn’t told, the brother might be dead also killed on screen

A main character killed themselves

A character has had amnesia at least 3 times

A characters father abandoned them in a junkyard as a baby

The princess ordered a hit on the emperor and empress

A character was a dad for a few weeks

Multiple people were kidnapped as slaves to make things, twice, once noodles and other time weapons

A noodle chain restraunt was a front for a mob boss

A character was dissected on screen while in prision

At multiple points multiple characters were depressed

A character was crushed to death

Most of the bad guys have been killed

The main characters pet was murdered and it’s bones were used to make furniture, not even nice looking furniture

The cannibal ended up kidnapping the child

A monestary was burnt down, straight to the gorund

A father tried to murder his child’s primary caretakers, and was responsible for the fact that the child lived in a one room apartment that didn’t even have all the essentials like working plumbing and electricity

A character hasn’t gone to school since 3rd grade

A character went hero -> villain -> hero

A character commited genozide on a group of people

A man gets mad at his child for doing something that he told him to do, abandons him

A child idolizes a terrorist for a 3rd of her life

A character has to kill his father, twice

A character owns a karaoke bar, that was the meeting place of a gang that idolized a dead terrorist

A character or 2 were erased from exaistance for a little bit

Bunch of characters almost die in space

A character almost got eaten alive, more than once

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spooderboyandtincan · 4 years

Text

The Friendly Neighborhood Exchange

By @spooderboyandtincan for @iloveirondad

Rating: Not Rated

Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark, May Parker & Tony Stark, Harley Keener & Peter Parker, Harley Keener & Tony Stark, Tony Stark & The Avengers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark

Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark, Harley Keener, May Parker, James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), The Avengers, Clint Barton, Sam Wilson, Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes

Summary: Unbeknownst to Tony, Harley is bullying his kid.

Ao2 Link: Here

A/N: @iloveirondad Thank you so much for the prompt! It was so fun to write!

Peter couldn’t remember when he started referring to Tony as “Dad” in his head. But he could count on one hand the times he had actually called Tony that.

The first three times they had brushed it off, Peter blushing a dark red, Tony smiling into his palm and tears blooming in the corners of his eyes.

The fourth time, Peter lay in the medbay with a white bandage wrapped around his head and Mr. Stark clutching his hand tightly, and he had called him Dad. Tony had teared up (and began to cry) and said he would love it if Peter called him dad.

Peter had it all planned out. It was all he could think about the entire day, even in science when he was reprimanded for not paying attention. He’d jump into the car, grin, and say “Hi, Dad! Guess what score I got on the science quiz!”

He felt a warm rush every time he thought of it.

Peter rushed out of the school, shouting a quick goodbye to Ned. He flung the car door open. “Hi, D- oh. Happy? Umm, h-hi.”

“Don’t sound so disappointed, kid,” said the driver. Peter shut the passenger door, sighing, and opened the back door.

“Where’s Mr. Stark?” he asked.

Happy met his eyes in the mirror. “Boss is at the penthouse. He has somebody he wants you to meet.”

Well, that sure cleared things up, Peter thought. Was it a doctor? A therapist? A scientist? His evil clone?

When he arrived at the penthouse, he wasn’t met with an insane doctor trying to kill his mentor with a bludgeon, just Tony and a kid sitting at the kitchen island, drinking strong coffee.

A kid.

A young man, he corrected himself. He was tall, far taller than Tony and much taller than Peter, with his hair wavy and styled with what must have been copious amounts of hair gel. He wore a red flannel shirt with sleeves he’d buttoned at the elbow, and ragged, torn up jeans with gray sneakers.

“Pete!” Tony exclaimed, jumping up to giving him a quick side hug and ruffling his hair. “Hey, buddy. How was school?”

“Fine. Who’s that?”

At his dreary response, Tony’s eyes glinted with worry. “This is Harley, kiddo. He’s staying here while he looks at colleges. And Harley, this is Peter.”

The young man, Harley, stepped forward, extending his hand. “Hey, Peter. Nice to finally meet you.”

Peter shook his hand and smiled, joining him at the kitchen island. “Nice to meet you too!”

“I’ve heard a lot about you,” said Harley. “And I mean a lot.” He glanced towards Tony, who was bustling around, making hot chocolate and cider and getting snacks, oblivious. “It’s all he ever talks about. ‘Peter did this, Peter did that, guess what Peter’s doing right now.’” Harley rolled his eyes. “It gets pretty annoying, to be honest.”

“O-oh. Sorry?” Ouch.

“Eh. I can tolerate him,” he shrugged. Peter glanced down at the table, running his finger across the lines in the wood. They sat together, the only sounds coming from the clinking of a spoon against a pan as Tony made hot chocolate.

“So what are you?” Harley whispered suddenly, leaning forward. “His secret kid?”

He blinked. “No, no, um… I’m just his intern. Personal intern.” The lie sounded forced, even to him. He was Tony’s kid, biological or not.

“Right,” the young man said skeptically. Peter looked at the table awkwardly, before a plate of cookies was placed in front of him.

“Thanks, Mr. Stark.” Peter grinned.

“Of course, bud.” Tony pulled up a stool next to him, and Peter felt a warm hand on his back. He grabbed a cookie (double chocolate-chip) and sipped his mug of hot chocolate.

“It’s September,” Harley said suddenly.

“Indeed it is,” Tony replied, not looking up from the plate of cookies, hand hovering above them while he tried to decide which one he would take.

“So why are you drinking hot chocolate?” He looked at Peter, frowning and perplexed, like Peter had performed some unspeakable offense.

He blushed and took a large drink from his mug. “It-it’s just cold out. Y’know.”

Plus, he couldn’t thermoregulate. Most days he would do anything to get warm. Besides stealing Tony and Ned’s sweatshirts, he could (and would) down ten cups of hot chocolate in a single sitting.

Tony immediately jumped to his defense, sensing Peter’s discomfort at Harley’s not-so-kind words. He stood up and poured another cup for himself, looking Harley directly in the eye. “Cheers.”

Tony hid his smile behind the mug when Harley looked at him like You too?

~~~~~

“So, Tony, what have you been doing?” asked Harley. “I haven’t heard much about you, just Peter.”

The older man chuckled, twisting spaghetti between his fork and spoon. “Superhero duties keep me pretty busy, kid. Not much else to talk about.”

Harley scoffed. “Yeah, right. All those ‘superhero duties,’ and you have the time to… you can spend time with your personal intern?” He gestured to Peter.

Peter knew without looking that there was a tension in Tony’s shoulders, knew that every single instinct in him was screaming ‘protect Peter.’

I don’t need protecting.

But before Peter could say anything, Tony spoke up. “Maybe you can tell us?” he joked, keeping his tone light. “You seem pretty interested in my personal life.”

Harley pursed his lips and frowned. “I was just curious.”

Tony nodded but stayed silent, though he reached out to pat Peter’s back gently. Harley did seem oddly fascinated with Tony’s personal life and his relationship with Peter.

But who would blame him for being curious?

“Maybe that’s enough about me,” Tony said, trying to keep the air light. “Harley, how have you been?”

The other man snorted. “Boring. My sis just started high school, Mom got a new job, and I have a month till graduation.”

“That’s so cool!” Peter exclaimed, eyes lighting up. “What college do you wanna go to?”

“Anywhere away from Tennessee. Can’t wait to get out of that shit-hole.”

“Watch your language, there’s a kid.” Tony was only half-teasing. He covered Peter’s ears. “You may proceed, young sir.”

Peter shook Tony’s hands off his ears, though he could still hear perfectly fine. “I’ve always wanted to go to MIT! Do you think you might go there?”

“I told ya, kid, anywhere away from my house.”

~~~~~

Peter held back a gasp as thunder and rain pounded in his ears. Ow ow ow.

His attempts were useless, however, as Harley snorted and rolled his eyes, “Aww, you scared?”

Peter frowned at Harley’s sudden change in mood. “N-no.” He winced, both at the thunder and the way his voice cracked. “No. I’m not scared.”

It just hurts.

Peter listened carefully for Tony’s heartbeat, hoping the man would come to calm his nerves, but the storm had completely drowned him out. Even with his super-hearing he could only hear the pounding rain.

Tony had been dragged to a meeting by Pepper, who claimed his presence was absolutely necessary. He had hoped Peter and Harley could spend some “bonding time” together, but that wasn’t going too well.

It wasn’t going well at all.

Peter would give anything for Mr. Stark to realize that he needed him.

“Christ, what are you, a baby?” Harley snapped as Peter flinched. “Does Tony have to deal with this shit?”

Peter hid his face in his knees. You’re stronger than this. Don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry. He squeezed his eyes shut, but one pearly tear slipped out.

Tony had seen him cry, more times to count, and always he was soft and gentle and kissed his temple, and wouldn’t let go of Peter.

“You crying, sweetheart?” Harley mocked, his voice high pitched and false. “Shit, you’re such a disappointment.”

Stop it stop it stop it. Harley’s words tore at his heart. Stop talking.

“Actual question, though,” he smirked. “Does Tony even care? It has to be a charity event, right?”

Tears leaked from Peter’s eyes. “No.”

Tony loved him, and had told him countless times how much. Tony loved him more than anything.

But Harley’s words drummed into his mind. He couldn’t help the tiny, almost unnoticeable sliver of doubt creep into his head.

Tony loved him.

Right?

“Lemme break it to you Parker.” Suddenly Harley’s hand was squeezing his shoulder almost unbearably tight. “He doesn’t care. He doesn’t care. Trust me, it’s for publicity, and I know it. I know him.”

Tony would never, ever lie to him.

“Don’t touch me,” Peter whispered weakly. “You’re lying.”

“I’m doing you a favor, Parker you know that? You’re just a naïve little kid.” He squeezed his shoulder again. Peter was sure he had finger-print shaped bruises forming on his skin. “You don’t know anything.”

No no no Tony-

With that, Harley flopped back on the couch, winking maliciously at the other boy, and turning on the tv. Peter buried his head between his knees, trying to hide himself in the cushions.

Tony loved him. Peter was going to call him Dad.

“Hey, bud, what’s up?”

Peter jumped when Mr. Stark’s figure suddenly appeared in the doorway. Though he glanced down the moment Tony’s eyes met his, he could see the flash of worry and parental panic on his face at his tears.

“Hey, hey, oh no,” Tony murmured, rushing to his side. He squeezed next to him in the armchair and cupped his cheek with warm, gentle fingers, wiping his tears away. “No, honey, what’s wrong? Shh. Are you hurt? Do you feel bad?”

Peter shook his head frantically, not wanting to cause anymore heat between Harley and himself. Tony smiled warmly, though his eyes were worried and he was desperate to help his kid. “Really, bud? ‘Cause it sure doesn’t look like that.”

He glanced nervously at Harley, who sent him a warning glare.

“I’m fine.”

Tony sighed. Peter held back a gasp when he turned to Harley. “Kid, do you know what happened?”

The young man stood, faux worry crossing his face. “No. I have no idea. Is he okay?”

Another sigh rustled Peter’s curls. He blinked back tears, sensing how distraught Tony would be seeing him cry.

He slipped out of his hold and ran.

“Peter!”

~~~~~

Tony’s day, which had been going surprisingly well, upended the moment he got an alert from his AI.

The alert filled the screen of his phone when he picked it up, not that he wouldn’t have noticed anything that read ‘Peter’s emotional distress rate at 7/10 and rising.’

Of course, how could he have been so stupid? Peter’s senses must have been going insane while the storm pounded outside. Tony ran for the door, his chair falling back in the process.

Ignoring the exclamations of the old geezers behind him (“Stark, where do you think you’re going?”) he rushed up the stairs, knowing the elevator would take far too long.

“Hey, bud, what’s up?” he asked, attempting to hide his concern as he glanced at his kid, who was curled in an armchair with his head between his knees.

Shit.

When Peter looked up, Tony had just enough time to see his red eyes and the shiny tear tracks on his face.

“Hey, hey, oh no,” he cooed, hugging Peter tightly with one hand and wiping his tears away with the other. “No, honey, what’s wrong? Shh. Are you hurt? Do you feel bad?”

Tony’s worry was only slightly assuaged when Peter shook his head, because it was obvious his kid wasn’t okay.

“Really, bud? ‘Cause it sure doesn’t look like that.” Please, baby, tell me what’s wrong.

“I’m fine.”

Tony sighed. Oh, buddy. Hoping to retrieve some information to why his kid was so riled up, because sensory overloads always left him clinging to Tony, not shying away.

Something must have happened, and it terrified him.

“Kid, do you know what happened?”

“No. I have no idea. Is he okay?” Harley stood up, biting his lip and looking worried.

He glanced back to the boy, and was shocked when he flinched, and then broke from his hold and ran.

“Peter!” Tony jumped up to follow his kid.

“Pete, open the door, please,” he begged, knocking on the wood. “Let me help you, buddy, c’mon. Please.”

Silence.

“Please.”

Nothing.

He tested the doorknob and was surprised to find it wasn’t locked. “Petey, I’m gonna come in, just to check on you, okay?”

The door swung open and Tony stepped inside and-

The room was empty.

The window was wide open, curtains whipping back and forth in the wind, raindrops falling on the window sill.

He dashed to the window and leaned out, shielding his eyes from the rain. “Peter?!” He squinted, desperately trying to find the form of his precious spider-kid.

“FRIDAY-”

“Already on it, boss,” said the AI. “Tracking Peter.”

Tony barely noticed when the suit formed around him, too distracted by FRIDAY’s voice.

“Boss, I am unable to find Peter’s location.”

“Try again, call him,” he ordered, blasting straight through the window, glass shattering around him.

The phone rang.

And rang.

“Boss, he didn’t answer-”

“Try again.” He searched the tops of the buildings and the alleyways frantically, his suit focusing on every heat signature and determining it wasn't his kid.

Please, please, please be okay, Peter

The call rang. Peter didn’t pick up.

I’m coming Petey, I’ll find you

There-

A small figure with a bright blue hoodie.

Peter!

~~~~~

Peter wiped his tears away angrily and yanked on his mask. He didn’t bother to get the suit, just snapped on his webshooters, opened the window, and jumped.

He let himself fall for just a little too long, the wind screaming and whistling in his ears as he dropped.

He caught himself in barely enough time, his curls brushing the cement before he went shooting upwards.

Peter swung from building to building, gliding through alleys, jumping over gaps in apartments. He jumped down to the pavement and rubbed his eyes under the mask, then started walking in a feverish haze.

Mr. Stark loved him, right?

Of course he did!

It was so clear. When he looked in the man’s eyes they were filled with love and fondness and it was so obvious how much he cared- and when Tony cupped his cheek and kissed his forehead and spoke softly to him, like he was the only thing in the universe that mattered.

But Harley’s words had drilled doubt into his mind.

He gulped and tried to shake his thoughts away. Shut it, Parker. It’s not true. Shut up.

Unfortunately, he couldn’t silence his own thoughts that simply.

Does he love you? Does he?

Yes!

Are you sure?

...Yes.

Stop it it’s not true-

“Hey! Put your hands up.”

The hairs on his neck and arms prickled. He turned slowly, raising his arms.

He was met with the muzzle of a pistol.

“Dude,” he mumbled, sniffing and hoping his tears hadn’t leaked through his mask. “Not cool.”

“Spider-Man!” the woman gasped, the gun shaking slightly. “I-I didn’t…” she took a deep breath and steeled herself. Shaking away her ponytail and adjusting the ski mask on her head, she snapped, “I need money and you’re gonna give it to me.” She clicked the safety off the gun. “Isn’t that right, spidey?”

“Ummm, I don’t have a wallet- I mean I have one, I just didn’t bring it with me because… um… stuff like this happens,” Peter rambled. “I mean, no offense! I just like to plan ahead- actually I didn’t plan ahead, I kinda just jumped out of the window, but I mean, you get it, right?”

“What?” she snarled. “No excuses, Spider-Man. Give me the fucking money.”

“I’m telling the truth, lady. I don’t have any money! So if you could just put the gun down maybe we can hug it out?”

Normally he would have been faster, his reflexes quick and blinding, but when he had said “hug it out” he remembered how much he wanted a hug.

A hug from Tony.

And then there was a loud bang that nearly shattered his eardrums and bullet pierced through his side. And then another bang. And one more.

White hot pain radiated through his torso and Peter had to hold back a sharp cry. He doubled over in pain, clutching the bullet wounds. He could tell from experience that all three bullets were stuck in his flesh. Peter collapsed to the ground, blood already soaking the thick material of his sweatshirt.

It must have hit something important, he thought hazily.

The woman knelt next to him and turned his body over roughly. Peter whimpered as she elbowed his wound. She dug through the pockets on his hoodie and gave a disgusted curse when her now bloody hands found no money.

“Told ya,” he mumbled, gazing up at the night sky.

He’d forgotten it was raining. Had it been raining this whole time?

Peter liked the rain but he didn’t like thunder. It was too loud.

The villain stood up, cured again, and kicked his body in displeasure. He groaned. “Damn you, Spidey.” And then she ran.

At least she didn’t take off my mask, he thought. Peter blinked slowly and moved his hand to rest on his face.

It was getting hard to breathe, which probably wasn’t good. With his last ounce of strength, he peeled off his mask. Panting heavily, he realized too late that now he couldn’t call Tony.

(Shouldn’t have disabled that tracker)

“Tony,” he gasped. “Dad. D-Dad.”

He glanced up. Were those repulsors he heard in the distance? Or was it just his imagination?

~~~~~

“Peter!”

Iron Man sped towards the ground at breakneck speed, so fast that a warning alert popped up on his screen.

“Pete,” he whispered, landing with such force that he cracked the pavement. “Petey.”

He sprinted forward and collapsed to his knees and for a moment his hands hovered over Peter’s body, not sure what to do. “Baby.”

He dug his fingers into the boy’s pulse point. The beat was there, to his overwhelming relief, but weak and staggered.

Tony sobbed quietly, blood covering his fingers. “Petey- Petey, wake up,” he begged “I’m right here, kiddie, you just gotta wake up, okay?” Tony pulled Peter to his lap and cradled him against his chest with a gentle touch. “Please, baby. Wake up.”

He smoothed Peter’s bangs from his sweaty brow and kissed his forehead tenderly, trying to coax him awake, to let his kid know that he was right there.

The child’s eyes fluttered and Tony gasped. “Petey. Wake up, honey, you’re doing great. Open your eyes, bambino.”

“D-dad?” Peter rasped, blinking up at him.

“Oh, baby, I’m here, Dad’s right here,” Tony cooed, cupping his cheek and rubbing his thumb against the soft skin. He struggled to pull off his jacket and pressed it against Peter’s wound.

Peter gave a sharp cry. “Dad… it hurts. Stop! H-hurts!”

“I know it hurts, baby, I’m so sorry, I’m gonna help you, okay? You’re gonna be okay, honey,” he assured him with a gasp. God, he was hurting his kid. “We’re gonna go visit Helen, she’ll fix you right up. I just need you to hold on, okay? Hold on for me, please, Petey. I need you.”

Peter took a shuddering breath and whimpered. “Hur’s… hur’s, Dad.”

Tony nodded and squeezed his eyes shut, kissing the top of Peter’s head, wishing the horror of his baby, lying limp and bleeding out in his arms, wasn’t true. God, he wished this was just a horrible nightmare, wished he could wake up and find Peter safe and warm in bed.

“P-Pete, oh baby, I’m so sorry. I’m supposed to protect you. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry baby.”

“No… ‘ony, don’ c-cry,” Peter slurred, reaching up a trembling hand. Tony grasped it like a lifeline and pressed his lips to the knuckles.

“Dad,” he mumbled. “Dad. D-do you… do you l-love me?

Tony stared at him for a moment, eyes wide, trying to grasp how his precious kid could think he, who loved him with his entire heart and soul, didn’t love him. His kid, who was his life, his entire universe.

“Peter,” he choked. “Petey, I love you so much, so so much. I love you more than anything, baby, I love you so much. I love you.”

Peter grinned hazily up at him. “K-knew it.”

And he exhaled shakily and his eyes slipped shut.

“N-no,” Tony whispered. “No. No, no no no, no! Peter! Peter, wake up! Peter! Wake up right now!”

Tony sobbed and dropped his forehead against Peter’s rocking him back and forth gently. “No, no no no, please, please no,” he moaned.

Tony ran shaking fingers across Peter’s clammy brow, then kissed his forehead firmly. “Goddammit, Petey, hold on.” Tears trickled down his cheeks.

He lay Peter on the ground, heart aching every second he wasn’t holding his child, and let the suit form around him, then scooped up his kid, adjusting him gently in his arms, and shot into the sky, thrusters at full speed.

Peter’s vitals appeared on the screen in front of him. Tony’s eyes flitted from Peter’s baby face to his steadily weakening pulse on the screen.

Oh god, stay with me sweetheart

His heart beat so fast he doubted it could be detected. He urged the suit to go faster, faster, speeding to the tower medbay.

“FRI-” he began shakily.

“I’ve contacted Dr. Cho and Dr. Banner, boss,” the AI assured. “They’ve prepared the medbay and are ready to help Peter.”

“Okay. Okay. Good.”

Peter would be okay

He had to

Tony needed him

Tony mumbled to himself, hysteria setting in as he sped to the tower. The time passed in a blur of fear and worry, and Tony just wanted to hold Peter in his arms, safe and warm and alive.

Please!

Just let him be okay.

Suddenly Tony was thudding against the landing pad and was met with the med team. They were prepared with a cot and various medical equipment that Tony couldn’t bother to name.

“Tony!” Helen Cho rushed towards him.

“H-Helen, help him,” he begged. “Help him!”

“I will, Tony, breathe. You need to give Peter to us.” She reached out to take the boy from Iron Man’s arms. Tony pulled away protectively, shielding Peter, before the rational part of his mind realized to help Peter he would need to let go.

He could only watch in terror as the med team swarmed over the boy, wires and tubes and monitors slapped to his chest and face. Peter was rolled away on the cot, before something in his brain snapped into place.

God, he had to protect Peter, he had to be with his baby he had to protect him, he couldn’t let Peter go he couldn’t let go-

Tony sprinted after his kid. “Peter!”

~~~~~

May, Rhodey, and Natasha rushed into the medbay at the same time, Rhodey’s braces echoing in the bare hallways.

There they found Tony, sitting against the wall of Peter’s surgery room, wringing his hands and staring off into space. His eyes were red and silvery tear tracks stained his face.

“Tony! What happened? Is Peter okay?! Where is he?” May yelled. Tony flinched in surprise.

“May,” he said, his voice gravelly. “May, I-I…” Tony massaged his face. The three knelt next to him, Rhodey’s arm around his back, May’s hand on his shoulder, and Nat’s hand on his foot.

“What happened, Tony?” Rhodey said softly, obviously worried for his (kind of) nephew. And his best friend, who was clearly devastated.

Tony sniffed. “H-he was shot. Three times, I think. I-I…” He held up his shaking hands, which were covered in blood. Peter’s blood.

May gasped. Nat’s composure slipped for just a second. Rhodey squeezed his eyes shut, then stood up and came back carrying a warm, wet cloth.

Gently he took Tony’s hand and began to work the blood off them. Tony normally would have teared up at his best friend’s kind gesture, but he could only think of his beloved kid, in the room right next to him, having strangers poke and prod and cut him. His kid, who was alone and bleeding and hurt-

Oh god. His baby.

Rhodey caught Tony in his arms as he began to sob.

He just wanted to hold his kid. Make sure he’s safe. Protect him so he is safe. Please.

May patted Tony’s back, lost in her own thoughts. Nat stood up and paced the length of the hallway and back again, her black boots clicking against the tiles.

Peter’s surgery lasted three more hours, full of anguish and crying, with Natasha and Rhodey trying to comfort the frantic parents (and themselves).

Tony remembered how close his kid had been to fading away, to never wake up again.

(If Peter died, he would too. He knew it deep down. He couldn’t live without his kid.)

He sniffed, and nearly missed the sound of the surgery door swinging open.

Helen walked out, sighing wearily. “Gang’s all here?” she joked.

Tony bolted to his feet, the rest following.

“Peter?!” he gasped.

She nodded. “He’s okay, Tony. We’ll be moving him to his normal room in about ten minutes, and you can see him after that.”

Tony’s legs felt weak as a rush of relief nearly caused him to pass out. He crumpled into Rhodey’s chest, bursting into tears once again. May hugged Natasha, who looked a bit surprised but smiled and wrapped her arms around the other woman.

The ten minutes passed achingly slow. They hovered around Peter’s room in a swarm of worry. And when the door opened, Tony was the first to run in.

Peter was pale and limp under the layers of blankets, numerous wires attached to his skin under his hospital gown. The room was dark, with only only one lamp casting golden light on Peter’s face, with the shades to the window closed.

Tony rushed to his kid, bending over his still body and cupping his face, pressing his forehead to Peter’s. Tears trickled down his cheeks and landed on the boy’s face. He sobbed and pressed kiss after kiss to his forehead and ran his fingers through his delicate curls.

May appeared on Peter’s other side, clutching one of his small hands. She took a damp, warm rag and, not unlike Rhodey had done for Tony, began tenderly wiping at the cuts that he must have earned when he collapsed to the alley floor. She paused for a moment and kissed his cheek, gazing at him as if taking in every detail of his face.

Tony reached out to take the cloth from her and dabbed at his baby’s face gently, eager to do anything that would help his kid, no matter how small. Natasha appeared behind them and held out a box of Spider-Man bandaids, smiling.

“For моего ребенка паука,” she said, then retreated to the corner of the room where she hovered silently, watching Tony and May coo and fuss over their kid.

Tony took the bandaids and gently stuck them on Peter’s minor wounds. May chuckled quietly and plastered a bandaid to Peter’s chin.

Tony carefully sat on the side of the hospital bed, playing with the boy’s soft curls. May pulled up her usual plaid armchair and continued to hold his hand tightly. The inventor murmured a few words in Italian to the boy, quiet enough so that if Peter was awake he would be the only one who could hear.

And then they both flinched violently, Tony leaping up to stand in front of Peter, when the door slammed open with such force it made a small dent in the wall.

Tony cursed angrily, glancing down to his kid to see if he had woken up prematurely. Peter’s face stayed lax.

He sat back down and took Peter’s small hand. “Harley, what are you doing here?”

“What happened to him?” Harley asked, ignoring the other man. “Like what, he’s dying now?”

Tony’s face went pale, his eyes wide. He swayed where he sat, and May darted forward to support him. “It’s okay, Tony. It’s okay. He’s okay,” she comforted.

Natasha stepped from the shadows and put her hand on Harley’s shoulder, forcefully leading him out of the room. They could hear the young man protesting as they walked down the hallway.

“Tony?” May asked. “Are you okay?”

Tony took a deep breath and exhaled shakily. “No.” He forced a laugh.

“He’ll be okay.”

“I know,” he muttered. “I-I just hate it. I hate seeing him so-so hurt and scared and I’m scared, then he tries to reassure me when I should be doing that for him- God.” He had his hand in his hair and looked seconds away from pulling it out. “I just wish I could keep him safe,” he whispered, tears prickling in his eyes.

“I know,” said May. “Believe me, I know.”

~~~~~

“Rhodey,” May laughed. “Guys, this is too much.” She looked at the basket of round, oreo shaped Spider-Man pillows, to the four flower vases on the table, to the clusters of balloons tied to the end of the bed, to the various collections of cards by the flowers.

Steve sighed. “Yeah, we know. We’ll give some to Clint’s kids.”

“No, you won’t,” Clint retorted. “I’ve tripped on three skateboards today! Three different skateboards!”

“You can’t trip on a plushie,” Sam muttered.

“Try me! I’m the master of breaking my back!”

Bucky handed a packet of Spider-Man stickers to May. “He loves to stick these on my arm. Thought he might like these.” He leaned back into Steve’s chest and gazed up. The other man squeezed his shoulder and kissed his lips as if in some strange limbo/ twister game.

Rhodey shrugged. “Least we can do is take care of this human disaster.” He poked Tony’s forehead and observed his disheveled appearance. Tony blinked and rubbed at his tired eyes. “Tony, you have to take care of yourself.”

“I appreciate it, everyone, thank you,” May assured. “I know Peter will love these.”

Tony picked up one of the Spider-Man plushies and tucked it under Peter’s blankets. He was squeezed next to the boy on the hospital bed, leaning against a pillow which must have been decimating his back. “There you go, bud. It’s a mini-you.” He smiled and gently ruffled his curls.

The room went quiet when the Avengers reluctantly left, forced out by Dr. Cho, who had come to refill Peter’s IV bag. Tony kissed Peter’s forehead and gently moved his head to the side when she drew out a needle, knowing that even though he was asleep, his kid hated needles.

They sat in silence once the doctor left, silently wishing for their kid to wake up.

“Pete,” he choked out suddenly. “Come on, baby, you’ve had enough time to sleep. Wake up for us, buddy, please.”

He hadn’t expected his kid to wake up, but maybe his hope was enough, because Peter’s eyelids fluttered. The two parents gasped.

Tony leaned forward, rubbing Peter’s cheekbone with his thumb and trying to coax him awake. “Come on baby, you can do it. You can do it, wake up, Petey. Wake up, there you go, that’s it.”

Peter’s eyes opened slowly. He moaned and blinked, then managed to get his eyes halfway open.

“There he is!” the man exclaimed. “Oh baby.”

May waved from his other side. “Hi, sweetie.”

“D-d… Dad? Aun’ May?”

“Right here, honey,” Tony cooed, his heart exploding with love. Dad. Peter had called him Dad! His voice was lost in emotion for a second.

“Hi,” the boy mumbled, grinning lazily.

“Hi there, Spider-Baby.” He bent to kiss his forehead. “How are you feeling?”

“Mmmmm… feel good. Like ‘m floatin’.” He turned his head. “Hi Aun’ May.”

“Hey, sweetie,” she murmured.

“Wassup, bros?” he slurred loopily. They both laughed.

“Not much, bud. You slept through the night, the team came over, and… oh, I’m missing something, let me see… oh, right you got shot.” He raised one eyebrow which made Peter laugh.

“‘M s’rry. Got distracted.”

“It’s okay, buddy. You’ve got nothing to be sorry for.” Tony desperately wanted to let his kid know that he didn’t have to apologize every time he almost died.

Peter hummed and squeezed Tony’s hand weakly, who squeezed back with considerably more gentle force. “Can I ask you something, kiddo?”

“Sure.”

Tony smiled. “Buddy, a few nights ago, you asked me if I loved you. Remember that?” He continued when the boy nodded in confirmation. “What did you mean? I love you so much, Petey. Did I do something wrong? Did I… did I say something bad?”

He held his breath. Had he accidentally hurt his kid? What had happened to make Peter doubt his love?

“N-no, no! I said that because… because I-I…” he took a deep breath. “Few days ago I was talkin’ t’ Harley… an’ he said you didn’ love me an’ that I was jus’ for main’ you look good. But I knew that wasn’ true.” He smiled. “Knew it.”

The ice cold shock that had hit Tony soon dissolved from anger to pure, unbridled fury.

“Harley,” he repeated, almost snarling. “Harley told you that?”

“Mm-hmm.” Peter was oblivious to Tony’s anger. “Knew he was wrong.”

“Petey- yes, he’s wrong, he’s so so wrong, baby. You know that right? You know I love you so much, so damn much?”

“I-I know, Dad. I love you too. More than… than… all the letters i-in the universe! P-plus all the stars, an’ the bugs, an’ all the little pieces of yarn in the c-carpet!”

Tony grinned fondly, kissing the boy’s forehead. God, he loved this sweet kid. “I bet I love you even more than that, buddy.”

He pushed his anger down, down, until all that was left was his never-ending love for his kid.

“Even more?” Peter gasped, eyes sparkling. “No way!”

“Yeah way,” he teased, running his fingers through his hair. Ma smothered her laughter with a hand.

“W-well, then I love you more than a-all the pixels on my computer. On all of the computers!”

“Wow, bud, that’s a lot, huh?”

Peter smiled proudly and nodded. He turned his head to his aunt. “Love you t-too May.”

“I love you too, sweetie.” She smiled and adjusted one of the little Spider-Man plushies by his side, letting him grab onto it.

“G’night,” he said, eyes drooping.

“Goodnight, baby,” Tony whispered, pressing a long kiss to his forehead. “I love you.”

“Nap time already?” asked May gently, smiling. “Goodnight, Pete. We’ll be here when you wake up.”

Peter’s eyes closed and his breathing slowed. His hand went limp in Tony’s, who gave it a tight squeeze.

When they knew he was deeply asleep, the pair shared a glance.

“Who,” May asked, “is Harley?”

~~~~~

Tony strolled down the hallway casually, composure cool and collected.

On the outside.

On the inside he was a turmoil of rage and anguish and a familiar aching to get back to his kid.

But first he had to find another kid. A certain young adult.

That kid.

The kid who had fed lies and seeds of doubt into his own kid’s mind. Doubts about a father’s love. Saying the unspeakable.

Who caused his kid to get shot. Three fucking times.

Harley.

“Hey, kid,” he greeted calmly, sauntering into the living room where Harley lounged on the couch, swiping away on his phone.

“Hey, Tony. Geez, what happened to that kid? He get shot or somethin’?” Harley barely glanced up, not concerned it slightest.

In fact, he looked satisfied.

Stay calm, Tones. Stay calm.

“As a matter of fact, he did.”

“Fuck, man. That sucks.”

Yeah, it sure fucking does. My kid, my baby almost fucking died and it was your fault, and all you say is “that sucks?”

“Sure does. He’s doing better, though,” Tony continued. “What I wanna know is, why was he out there? Any ideas?”

Harley shrugged, not willing to share much more. “Maybe he likes the rain?”

“Maybe that’s it,” Tony considered. The icy anger flooded through him again. “Or maybe, just maybe, it’s because you told him I didn’t fucking love him. Think that’s it?”

Harley glared. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Really? ‘Cause I saw the footage, Harley. ‘It must be a charity event, right?’ ‘He doesn’t care?’” Tony’s eyes must have been red, he was so angry. “Kid, I really don’t think you know me as much as you think you do. You don’t know me at all.”

“Save it,” he snapped when the other man tried to protest. “He almost fucking died because of you. He could have been killed. You could have killed my kid.”

“He- I-I-”

“I don’t want to hear your excuses. I want you to get out.”

“W-what? What do you mean?” Harley blinked up at him, his sneakers still getting dirt on the couch.

Tony’s face grew deadly serious. He physically had to grab his hand to restrain from calling the suit. “He. Almost. Died. You need to get out of my house and away from my kid.”

“I-I didn’t-” he began to protest.

“Out, or I’ll call security. You need to leave,” Tony snarled.

Harley blinked, then jumped up and ran, tripping over his shoelaces as he rushed to the elevator. Tony watched, glaring, as the door closed.

A few minutes later, FRIDAY announced, “Harley has left the building, boss.”

“Good.”

He would have loved to talk to that kid for hours, about how much he hurt his precious kid, how much he hurt him.

But he had a kid to get to.

Tony hurried back to the medbay, not bothering to knock on the wooden door and making May jump.

“Is he gone?” she asked.

“Yeah. I don’t think we’ll be seeing much of him again.” He grinned.

May nodded. “Good.” She smiled to herself, patting Peter’s foot.

(It was obvious she had a strong hatred for the man who had almost killed her nephew.)

Tony sat on the bed, making sure not to disturb the child with his sudden weight, and kissed Peter’s temple tenderly, his gaze filled with love as he memorized every detail of his kid’s face, then smoothed his hand over his curls. “Don’t worry, buddy. He won’t be bothering you ever again.”

~~~~~~

/ST*RKER DNI/

~~~~~~

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hoodoo12 · 3 years

Text

Elegy (1/6)

What follows is a story of Miss Argentina and Beetlejuice and how their own personal issues keep them locked in their own private hells. Contains smut and angst. It was done as a rp between @clairjohnson and myself. NSFW. Beetlejuice/Miss Argentina. Beej is a combination of movie and musical; Miss Argentina has contains hcs (such as her name and circumstances). Also contains minor mentions of OC Dante’s Inferno employees. (Tagging people who have asked in the past. If you’d like to be tagged, hmu. If you’d like to be untagged, hmu. @turtlepated @thewolfisapartofmysoul @beetlewise-and-pennyjuice @janitor-boy @beejiesbitch @angelicspaceprince) Enjoy!

He’d married, been murdered, vanquished the evil that was Juno – he wasn’t looking forward to seeing her again anytime soon – said some weird heartfelt goodbyes to people he just terrorized, and was carried off by his clones in the smallest, most subdued mosh pit style ever, for an exit that was worthy of some kind of award, just for the theatrics of it.

The second he was through the swirling mists of the doorway that separated the living from the Netherworld, he turned on his own clones and attacked them remorselessly, using claws and teeth to tear them apart, growling like he’d lost his mind and spitting like he was rabid.

None of the clones attempted to fight back or escape. They were part of him, and he was so fucking angry – it made him angrier that they just took their destruction passively, his destruction, a destruction of self that made his hands drip with gore, his mouth taste like clotted blood, and his clothing, the tuxedo conjured specifically for something positive in his fucking waste of a life, a deeper color.

He hated this fucking suit.

He was too exhausted by the end of his rampage to flick it away, however. Stepping over the piles of meat that had been clones, he wiped his hands down his front and winced as they brushed over the new ventilation that goddamn teenager graced him with. He kicked the door to the waiting room hard enough that it bounced off the interior wall of purgatory, startling the assholes sitting around waiting for their stupid numbers to be called.

---

It had been another slow day in the waiting room. Not that Miss Argentina had any way to count “days” – time had little meaning in death – but her job was as uneventful now as it had been several hundred new arrivals ago. Staring down at her clipboard Maria crossed out the name of the last soul she’d sent back to meet their case worker. Juno was surprisingly absent at the moment, but the receptionist wasn’t too concerned. Her boss was a work-alcoholic and honestly, what else did Juno have to do? She’d be back soon.

In a practiced motion, one she’d done a million times, Maria stood and slid open the dividing screen to the waiting room.

“Number 5,678 Mr. Hen – “

The rest of the name caught in her throat when the door to the left of her was blown open, rattling on hinges that threatened to give. A split second of panic washed over her, an emotion really only needed for the living, before she saw who it was.

Betelgeuse.

“Mr. Hendrix,” she finished, moving her gaze from the fuming poltergeist to the sorry looking dead man standing up from his seat. “Your caseworker is waiting for you – please step through those doors.”

Maria placed her clipboard back on the desk then leaned out the window a little further, giving the older, bloodied man a deeper once over. “Back so soon, Mr. Betelgeuse? Should I pull you a number?”

"Fuck this place and fuck the numbers!" he spit, literally spit, making the ghost sitting nearest in his line of fire wipe his face as he hoisted himself up – some kind of heart attack took him, no doubt, from the lack of obvious trauma and the effort he took to get out of the molded plastic chair – and hurried as fast as he could out of range.

He could take that chair and beat down every wall in this place. He could tear apart every single soul in this forsaken pit. He could bypass the eons of fucking waiting and just march right down the hall to the Lost Souls' Room –

– scary thing was, that option held some real fucking appeal at the moment.

Beetlejuice glared at each and every dead person cowering in place. Fucking losers. Just like the fucking Maitlands, but worse, because they followed the goddamn directions in the fucking Handbook and were now stuck here.

But what did that say about him? the voice in the crate in the back of his mind whispered. You tried, and you still ended up right.here.with.them.

Beetlejuice grabbed the side of his head, mindless of the residual tackiness on his hand, and gave his hair a yank. Sometimes that dislodged the voice enough to make it shut up.

His gaze fell on the beauty queen behind the partition. He couldn't tell if she was politely waiting for his tantrum to subside, or if she was being indifferently patient, having seen it all before.

Maria wondered, absently, where all the blood had come from. She noticed the gaping hole in his chest and assumed it might all be his – but it was always hard to tell with Betelgeuse. His brand of “bio-exorcising” wasn’t the cleanest. However, based on his outfit, she doubted his day job was what sent him back here. The fool had tried to get married again.

Fixing him with a cool, pleasant smile, Maria yanked a number from the ticket dispenser and held it up. “I’ll just pull one for you, then. You know the rules – no number, no getting to see Juno.”

The beauty queen leaned further out of the window and rested her chin in the palm of her hand – her clipboard and list forgotten for the moment. Red tuxedo – a classic for him. How many times had she seen him in it? She could remember at least four, and she guessed he’d worn it twice as many times before she’d crossed over. Betelgeuse never told her how old he was, but after working with him for over three decades, it was clear he had a few hundred years under his belt.

When was he going to stop pulling this stunt? It never worked. Always ended up with him down in the waiting room – back here with her. Maria bristled, both angry and jealous that he got to leave this hell and go gallivanting top side as he pleased. Her smile tightened and she narrowed her eyes at him.

“You never invite me to your weddings,” Maria said casually, lifting the hand from her chin to examine the ruby manicure. “Any good plans for your honeymoon?”

She flicked her gaze up to catch his reaction.

The bitterness and pure rage inside him managed to ratchet up another notch with the receptionist's detached apathy to his situation as she offered the ticket out to him.

Anyone else, and he'd have taken that hand off at the wrist; he could feel his teeth lengthen in anticipation of it. As it were, he snatched the paper away with enough force to tear it. He crumpled it in his fist and shoved it into a pocket without looking at it, casting his glance around the room again at all the lesser assholes who were pointedly trying not to look at him and become the focus of his ire.

Maria's words, her barbed little query spoken in her light accent, just poured salt into the gaping hole in his chest.

"Fuck you," he roared. His voice cracked.

Maria was used to seeing Betelgeuse angry. She was also used to seeing him happy – manically so. The man had a way of taking emotions to the extreme. She was not, however, used to hearing the crack in his voice. The next biting remark died on her tongue and she peered up from her nails, her brow furrowing.

“Oh, don’t look so upset.” She tutted, but there was less sarcasm behind it. “You have all the time in the world to try again, don’t you? It’s not like you’re stuck here (like she was). Not for long, anyway.”

Had this time been different from his other attempts? The pain in his expression suggested so. If he kept this up she may just bring him around back to avoid disturbing the waiting ghosts. Maria didn’t like bending the rules, but for the good of her job she’d bend them. That’s what she told herself at least. For the job.

try again

not like you're stuck here

Her words meant to comfort stung, jamming themselves like smaller spears into his chest. She was partially right. It wasn't like he was stuck here, so long as he could convince some dumb sucker to fulfill the terms of the contract. Finding the right dumb sucker was what took the time and energy.

That led to the whole "try again" debacle. What was the point? He'd never succeed; despite the seemingly impressive power he had in the upper world, it was useless. He was useless, like everything was smoke and mirrors and the one being fooled was him.

He realized he had his fists clenched so hard he was shaking. The ghosts surrounding him in the mismatched furniture, patiently waiting their turn, still did their damnedest to pretend they heard and saw nothing.

"No one is like me!" he'd shrieked in the Maitlands' faces.

The stupid deads sitting here proved it. He had half a mind to grab the nearest one and rip him apart like he'd treated his clones, just to continue to give his rage an outlet, but on top of everything else he didn't want to deal with the consequences of that. Maria was still watching him, as if she expected him to do something of the sort, like she was steeling herself to have to intervene and de-escalate him, even though he knew it wasn't anywhere near part of her job.

The shaking of his fists drew her gaze down – would he really be so brash as to tear through the souls waiting? Not that he could actually kill anyone, but it would make them have to get a new place in line . . . and the paperwork involved would be a headache.

Maria lifted her Miss Argentina sash over her head and draped it on the back of her chair. Quietly, but quickly, she moved around her desk and out the side door that led to the waiting room. Like approaching a wild animal you didn’t want to startle, Maria crept forward. Delicately, she placed her fingers on the side of his arm to get his attention, keeping her back straight and her expression calm.

“How about you come wait in the back, Mr. Betelgeuse.”

Her voice was smooth. She had started adding in the “Mr.” when he’d gone rogue and stopped working for Juno. The days of familiarity, of her calling him “Beej”, were long gone. Maria still kept a certain level of fondness for the poltergeist, though she’d never admit it aloud.

The roots of his hair were probably the color of this fucking suit.

When Maria physically approached and laid a manicured hand on his arm, he almost spun on her. When the pressure on his arm increased, aided by her nails digging in so hard he could feel them through the layers of fabric, he forced himself to relent.

"Fine," he agreed bitterly.

She’d felt him tense at her touch, and Maria briefly considered she’d made a grave mistake approaching him, until his muscles relaxed – slightly – under her fingers. Thank goodness.

Keeping her hand on his arm the receptionist guided him to the office door. She peered out to catch the relief on the newly dead faces before shutting it behind her.

“Take a seat.” She gestured to the chair next to her desk and sat back down on her own. She wanted to stay disinterested, wanted to keep things professional, but she couldn’t.

“So.” Maria pulled some papers together and tapped them on her desk until they were even. “Is most of that blood yours? I haven’t seen you looking so . . . out of sorts in quite some time.”

The beauty queen looked at him from the corner of her eye, pretending to keep most of her attention on the work in front of her.

He sat where indicated, in the hard straight back chair beside her desk. If he wanted, he could look up and see the filing cabinets, the paths in the rug worn through to the subfloor underneath, the endless stacks of paper, and the hallway where the caseworker's offices were.

He didn't want to. He could walk through the place blindfolded. Nothing changed in the Netherworld; it was all slog and dismay. And they thought he was crazy for wanting back out?!

A cigarette appeared in his hand. Sticking it between his lips he glanced up at her question and statement.

"Yeah. The blood's mine. First from that goddamn teenager and second – " He broke off there and used lighting the cigarette as an excuse not to finish and admit he'd torn apart his own clones in a fit of rage. " – never mind. Nothing matters. It's the same shit for eternity."

Maria watched, with pointed interest, as he brought the cigarette up to his mouth. Well, at least the blood was his. Less mess for Juno to clean up later.

“Thanks.” She drawled sardonically, bringing her own cigarette into existence. “I’d love one.”

As she took a drag, Maria let his remark sit in silence for a few moments, unsure of how to respond. Most of the dead seemed to be having an on-going crisis – and if Beej had been feeling the same, he’d never let on.

“You’ve always been one for the dramatics. But never nihilism.” She paused, “ – also, did you just say teenager? You know what – I don’t want to know.”

She threw her hand up at that, waving the question off. He was a scumbag, to be sure, but the thought of him being that scummy was not an idea she wanted to entertain.

He'd have felt bad about not offering her a smoke if he was in a different state of mind. As it were, it didn't even register until she pointed it out. Even then he couldn't quite bring himself to care. It was easy, however, to fill in the blanks she left out.

"It was a fuckin' green card thing," he growled. "Most teens – especially gothy ones who think their existence is the worst of anyone, ever – are dumb as shit. Easy to manipulate. Except this one was too damn clever for her own good. She used – "

It was on the tip of his tongue to admit his naked, desperate desire to be accepted was used effectively against him, but that made sour bile rise in the back of his throat and he had to swallow it down again.

" – ugly art to impale me," he corrected after only a brief hesitation. He took a deep drag, and was dismayed to see that some smoke drifted out the hole in his chest. That kid must've punctured a lung. He sighed as he pulled at his shirt to try and cover it.

From the corner of his eye he watched her watch him. He didn't want her pity. He didn't know what he wanted, but he knew he didn't want her pity.

Maria felt herself relax at his growled response – pleased to hear he was still a normal scumbag of the con-man variety. She couldn’t hide the twitch of her lips into a smile when he admitted how he kicked the bucket this time around. She’d seen a lot of dumb ways to die, but ugly art was a first. Chuckling through a drag, she eyed the smoke coming out of his chest, causing her lips to curl even further upward.

As good as it was to have him talking, the anger radiating off him was still obvious. She could practically feel it on her skin. Whenever he got out of hand Juno was usually around to deal with him – but not this time. She was still surprisingly absent. Fortunately, Maria had worked here long enough to know what her boss’s trump card was.

“Juno’s been away from the office today.” she started, putting out her cigarette in the glass tray on her desk. “And you look like you’re in the need of a distraction after . . . your little accident.”

The receptionist spun her chair to face him, one slender bare leg crossed over the other, and raised a brow at the bloodied ghost.

“How does a drink or two at Dante’s sound? On Juno’s tab, of course.”

She smiled, scarlet lips parting to show off her straight white smile. In many ways the two were opposites. Beej was unapologetically himself, moss and all, while Miss Argentina went to great lengths to appear perfect. Even though she had let some of that anxiety go in death, bad habits were hard to break.

“I’ll join you – if you don’t mind. I could use some time out of the office.”

In an effort to appear disinterested in the state of both his clothing and the new hole he was going to have to figure out how to close, Beetlejuice kept his eyes on the paperwork she'd straightened. A kid's profile, from the looks of it. One perk about working as Juno's assistant way back when was helping the kids when they came through –

He glanced up sharply when Maria mentioned Dante's. Actually suggesting it, and accompanying him to it. He would've thought that the beauty queen would pretend that place never existed, although he knew she must have been both scouted and offered a job there.

"On Juno's tab? A drink or five sounds great."

Some time that old hag was going to show up again, slathered in Sandworm spit and gastric juices, and he'd much rather not be found here if possible. He stood up abruptly, making the wooden chair squeal against the floor.

"Fine. I'll let you take me out."

“Only drinks, Mr. Betelgeuse. I’m not paying for any other services.”

Miss Argentina hadn’t had a chance to be out in quite some time. With an eternity stretching out in front of you, there was little rush to do much of anything other than your assigned job. Peering down at her burgundy gown, she also realized she hadn’t changed her outfit in years – wearing the same dress to two different parties used to be a mortifying thought when she was alive.

How things change. The beauty queen stood, and with a few moments of concentration, changed into a red cocktail dress. Her French curled hair now in tight waves around her shoulders. It felt nice. A little like being alive, even. Even if it was just to go out and watch this man get drunk off his ass. But she understood his desire to live again – didn’t all ghosts wish they could be top side? He was certainly the most tenacious about getting there.

“All right, ready when you are,” she said while smoothing down her new outfit. She turned from the older man and started towards the office exit, throwing a ‘are you coming?’ glance over her shoulder at him.

He couldn't tear his eyes away from her hands smoothing down the fabric of her choice of dress. With his cigarette still caught between two fingers, he ran his thumb over his lower lip, thinking about the differences between the dead and the breathers changing clothing – the breathers had to take it off and put it back on, versus simply willing a new outfit into existence.

Of course the dead could be titillatingly mundane, if they chose. It was too bad this was the never-closed office, and there was a waiting room full of ghosts on the other side of the glass partition –

At her invitation and with a sigh, Beetlejuice stepped off the road that daydream was headed. He'd lost the chance with her a long time ago.

He flicked his still lit cigarette into the ether and decided if she was going to be dolled up, it wouldn't be right for him to accompany her in what he was wearing. Between one step towards the door and the next, his blood-soaked tux became his favorite striped suit. He left the hole in his torso under his shirt.

"Lead the way, muñeca." tbc . . .

#writing #role-play #BeetleTina #Beetlejuice #Miss Argentina #Beetlejuice x Miss Argentina #Movie Beetlejuice #musical Beetlejuice #fanfiction #rp

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tamatoashiny123 · 3 years

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A Day In The Life: A Kim Possible Story (Part 1: Morning)

Here’s the story pitch: what if you followed a day in the life of Doctor Drakken and Shego? Here’s how I think it’d go:

8 AM:

Having just woken up, Shego yawned, stretched, got out of bed, put on her robe, and headed to the kitchen for some breakfast. Her boss, Doctor Drakken, was already at the table, holding a cereal box.

“Good morning, Shego,” he greeted.

“Good morning, Doctor D,” she said back. “I’m gonna make some toast. Do you want some?”

“No thank you. I’m gonna have some of this cereal.”

Shego looked at the box as Drakken poured some cereal into a bowl. It contained Dino Pebbles, a very sugary and colorful cereal. “Are you sure? My teeth are hurting just looking at those flakes.”

“They’re pebbles, Shego. And I need some sugar. I’ve been suffering from an evil schemer’s block for a week now and getting some sugary energy flowing to my brain might be just what I need to overcome it!”

“Mmm, sure it will, Doctor D,” Shego replied, rolling her eyes

“Don’t give me that tone this early in the morning, Shego! Just watch! I’m gonna come up with something diabolical right now!”

Shaking her head, Shego began to make herself a cup of coffee as Drakken took several big spoonfuls of the sugary cereal. Already feeling his heart going a mile a minute, he looked at the cereal box closer. On the front was a cartoon of a green T-Rex. Staring at the cartoon, an idea began to form. “DNA cloning!” he exclaimed.

Shego sighed as she sat down at the table and took a sip from her ‘#1 Partner in Crime’ coffee mug Drakken had given to her last year for Christmas. “Again with the cloning? Haven’t you failed at that, like, seven times already?”

“Not human cloning! I’m talking about dinosaur cloning!”

Shego took a very long sip from her mug. “Huh?”

“Yes, it’s perfect!” he said to himself. “I’ll steal some dinosaur DNA, inject it into a lizard or whatever, have it breed, then blast the offspring with a growth ray! I’ll have a giant dinosaur at my disposal that no army can take down, leaving me primed to take over the world! MUAHAHAHAHA!”

Shego took in his plan before responding. “I hate to rain on your sugar-fueled parade, but there are a few flaws with your plan.”

“Oh? Such as?”

“Well, for starters, where are you getting a growth ray? Cuz I’m pretty sure Smartymart doesn’t carry them.”

“Mere semantics, Shego. I’ll simply steal one from a top-secret government facility when we get closer to that phase of the plan.”

“Uh-huh, right. Second, this is sounding a bit too like that time you tried to woo DNAmy into helping you create a mutant army and wound up creating a giant dinosaur creature-thing that nearly devoured us whole.”

“Ah, but this time, I won’t rely on those crazy machines Amy uses to splice DNA samples together. It’ll be simply injecting the lizard with DNA, then hitting its offspring with the growth ray I’ll steal.”

“And how will you ensure it’s obedient and won’t immediately eat you?”

“I…I don’t know! A giant spray bottle or dinosaur-controlling whistle should do the trick, I suppose. I’ll just hit them with the growth ray as well.”

Shego shook her head. “That’s not…whatever. Also, you do know lizards aren’t just tiny descendants of dinosaurs, right?”

“They aren’t?”

“No! Birds are their descendants.”

“What?! You’re making that up!”

“I can assure you that I’m not.”

Not believing her, Drakken pulled out his phone and consulted Google. “Huh, it appears you’re right about this ‘bird’ thing, Shego. Very well then. The first step will be me catching a bird to inject!”

Before Shego could respond, Drakken stood up from the table and ran out the kitchen. Sighing, Shego finished her cup of coffee and walked over to the toaster. “It’s way too early for this…”

9 AM:

After finishing breakfast, Shego took a shower. She exited the bathroom with a towel around her waist and her hair when an excited Drakken ran up to her, holding an object behind his back. “Shego! I need to show you what one of the minions found on the island!”

“Can it wait until I have clothes on?”

“Just check this out!”

Drakken revealed he was holding a birdcage. Inside was a seagull, who cocked its head at the sight of Shego and squawked.

“…do I even want to know why you have that thing?”

“Well, you said that birds were the descendants of dinosaurs. And a seagull is a type of bird, is it not?”

“I mean, yeah…”

“Exactly! Now say hello to Barry!”

“You named the seagull ‘Barry’?”

“Yep!”

“Why?”

“Because I thought the little guy looked like a Barry. Now, say hello to Barry, Shego.”

Shego crouched down to meet the bird at eye level. “Uh…how’s it going?”

The bird turned around and began to raise his tail feathers. Realizing what it was about to do, Shego pushed past Drakken and ran towards her room. “Drakken, I just took a shower! Don’t let that thing near me again unless you house-train it!”

“You know, in some cultures, it’s considered good luck for a bird to do its business on you,” Drakken shouted as Shego slammed her door shut. Sighing, he looked down at the seagull. “Don’t worry, Barry. I understand you. Come on, let’s go find some dinosaur DNA for me to steal.”

11 AM:

After getting changed into her green and black jumpsuit and doing her hair and makeup, Shego went into her training room and was wailing on a sandbag with her nemesis Kim Possible’s face taped to the side.

“This is for smudging my lipstick! And this is for breaking my nail two weeks ago!” Shego grunted as she unleashed a flurry of fists and kicks. Stepping back, she lit her hands up with plasma energy and unleashed a diagonal swipe that created a tear in the bag, causing sand to begin to pour out. As this happened, Drakken entered the room.

“Shego!” he barked. “I thought I told you to stop doing that to Sandbag Kim Possible! Do you think those things grow on trees?!”

Shego rolled her eyes and brushed the sand off her shoulders. “Did you find your dinosaur DNA yet?”

Drakken pulled out his phone and opened a webpage. “I’ve been doing some research into that. Turns out, there’s a big scientist convention being held in Palo Alto today!”

“And they didn’t invite you?”

“I assume my invite got lost in the mail. But one of their big presentations is some archeologist presenting a DNA sample of a T-Rex they found on a mosquito that was frozen in amber.”

“So, we’re gonna crash that convention and steal the DNA to further your hair-brained scheme?”

“I wouldn’t call it ‘hair-brained’, but yep, that’s the gist!”

Drakken yawned. “But not this minute. I think I’m *yawn* coming down off that sugar high from this morning. I’m gonna take a nap now. I’ll call you when I’m ready to go.”

With that, Drakken left the room. Shego walked over to a giant locker, opened it, and pulled out another sandbag with Kim’s face taped to it. She unhooked the torn bag and attached the new one.

“Alright, Princess,” Shego said, cracking her knuckles. “Time for round two…”

TBC…

#kim possible #doctor drakken #shego kim possible #fanfic #kim possible series

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incorrectbatfam · 4 years

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hi! i’m really new to the dc universe and all the comics and characters.. i saw you wrote some descriptions on some of them, but was wondering if you could like dumb down like all of the (main) ones? thank you!

Original posts with Carrie Kelley, Cassandra Cain, Harper Row, and Duke Thomas

I’m just gonna cover the Batfamily since…it’s kind of what I do. As usual, we ignore the Bad Canon™

First we got the big bad Bats himself, Wayne Enterprises CEO Bruce Wayne. His grimdark nature is largely fueled by his parents’ deaths when he was eight (they got shot in an alley while he survived). He made it his mission to protect Gotham City from crime, and in doing so acquired a bunch of people in what we know at the Batfamily. Besides that, he’s also part of the original Justice League and he’s got like ninety years of canon to pick and choose from

Next we have Dick Grayson, oldest of the batkids. He was raised in Haly’s Circus and performed trapeze acts with his parents, John and Mary Grayson. While in Gotham, a crime boss tampered with their ropes and John and Mary fell to their deaths. Bruce took him in and trained him to be the first Robin. After a while they drifted apart and Dick rebranded himself as Nightwing and became leader of the OG Teen Titans. He also became a cop, Agent 37, and a Talon and maybe a few other things but for the most part he’s remembered as Nightwing

Jason Todd is the second Robin (and the last one without pants). He grew up in Gotham’s Crime Alley to a POS father and addict mother and was adopted by Bruce after trying to steal the tires off the Batmobile. He was killed by the Joker in his teens, only to be resurrected by the League of Assassins via the Lazarus Pit. After that, he became the crime boss and gunslinging anti-hero Red Hood because he believed his methods were better than Batman’s no-kill one. He also formed the Outlaws with old Titans members such as Starfire and Arsenal

Our third bat child is Tim Drake, AKA Red Robin, son of Gotham elite Jack and Janet Drake. Tim was a genius kid (and a bit stalkerish) from the start, able to deduce Batman and others’ identities and figuring out that the late Jason Todd was Robin. He demanded to be Robin, saying that Batman needed a partner. He was part of the Titans but is more known for his Young Justice team. Later Tim rebrands as Red Robin because Dick (as Batman) gave the Robin title to the little demon that’s coming up later

Next we got Stephanie Brown, daughter of a POS mother and the villain Cluemaster. She’s most notably known as Spoiler, the name coming from spoiling her own father’s evil schemes. She becomes Batman’s fourth Robin (don’t care what dudebros say) but dies after a couple weeks on the field. After some timeline alterations or whatever, she comes back to life. I’m not sure where her Batgirl storyline fits in that chronology but…yeah. Again, mainly known as Spoiler and often fights alongside Tim

Our fifth and youngest Robin (still goes by that) is Damian Wayne, a test tube baby of Bruce Wayne and Talia Al Ghul, raised by the League of Assassin to be a living weapon and heir to Ra’s Al Ghul’s legacy. Talia dropped him off with Bruce and he trained under both his father and Dick Grayson as Robin. He was killed by Talia’s clone but brought back to life by Bruce on Apokolips. Damian also secured a spot as a Teen Titans leader and is most well-known for being one of the two Super Sons alongside Jon Kent

Barbara Gordon, AKA Batgirl and Oracle, is the daughter of GCPD police chief Jim Gordon. She went behind his back and trained herself to be a vigilante, donning the Bat symbol as Batgirl and fighting crime alongside the Bats. She’s paralyzed waist-down after getting shot by the Joker and is now wheelchair bound (we ignore the ableist canon that undoes that). She’s now a computer whiz who provides intel to her teammates under the codename Oracle

Katherine “Kate” Kane is another wealthy Gothamite who was inspired by Batman to join the fight against crime. Her mother and sister were killed by terrorists so she was raised by her single father. She was a cadet at West Point and was an ace student until her final year, where she had to come out as a lesbian and expelled under Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. She went through a period of self-medication and even ended up on a desert island before returning to Gotham and channeling her energy into the Batwoman we know today

Alfred Pennyworth (formerly Alfred Beagle) is the badass surrogate father/grandfather to this entire crew. A retired British intelligence agent, he followed his father’s footsteps of serving the Wayne family. Alfred raised Bruce following Thomas and Martha Wayne’s deaths and plays a major role in assisting the Batfamily in her hero business from within the Batcave. He also has a long lost daughter, another secret agent named Julia Pennyworth.

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corellianbrandy · 3 years

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Caught up on episodes 2-16 of The Bad Batch this weekend and these are my thoughts as I watched

1. Love how tarkin has aged like 40 years since we last saw him approximately four-to-six months ago in the clone wars. Like I’m not kidding I genuinely love it

2. Whenever little omega gets out of the ship and sees sunlight for the first time and is so excited about dirt 🥺

3. The scary scary nexu 🥺🥺🥺🥺 so cool

4. The empire just immediately making everyone’s lives miserable ie giving everybody a chain code and shit. You’re right Dave Filoni we SHOULDN’T have social security numbers.

5. CID FUCKING RULES LMFAO. Cathy Bates lizard ass mob boss bitch. Echo knows her as ‘a contact of the Jedi’ which coming from him probably means less ‘the Jedi’ in general and more just ‘Obi-Wan and Anakin’. Cid clearly liked the Jedi, but Anakin I can’t imagine having that much patience to deal with her and he probably just interacted with her out of necessity but Obi-Wan. Imagine her and Obi-Wan interacting.** The flirting. The mind games. They were probably in love.

6. I always know that I personally am going to have a great time whenever the Zygerians show up because they always bring the Peak Weird Scifi Ralph Mcquarrie 70s vibes with them and they did NOT disappoint. The flying lizard vs. rancor fight gave me the strength I needed to go on another day

7. Speaking of the rancor like I knew it was going to be a rancor as soon as we saw the cage but I wasn’t expecting it to be THEE rancor.

8. Furthermore. Lost it at thee rancor making puppy dog heart-eyes at omega as it’s being led away to be chained up under Jabba’s palace to eat Jabba’s enemies for the rest of it’s life until Luke finally kills it in 4ABY.

9. Everybody climbing through the ion engine core was COOL SO COOL. My little nerd brain really loved that. “This is actually a marvel of engineering. This steel coating is capable of withstanding -“ “NO ONE CARES!” 💯💯💯💯 Exactly how I would’ve written it A+++++++

10. The fucking rattlesnake wild west music that aggressively plays every time Cad Bane is on screen. What’s better than this.

11. Cad Bane’s entire new gunslinger cowboy outfit. Everything to me.

12. I love all these deep seeded reasons we’re getting for why the storm troopers SUCK. 1. Being the entire idea to use them in the first place was based off a misunderstanding made after one(1) experimental mission where it’s interpreted that they’re better than the clones when the clones were the reason for the mission’s success in the first place and 2. How a lot of the first-wave storm troopers were trained by the clones who either didn’t want to train them and didnt do a great job on purpose or did it but personally left out a lot of info and skills. Pretty fascinating explanation for protagonist armor while also making a statement about the inefficiency and insincerity of institutional evil/bureaucracy (I guess).

13. Holy shit did NOT LIKE THE CLAUSTROPHOBIC ENDING AAAAAHHH. Like the facility on kamino floating to the bottom of the sea. Kill meeeeeeee. Very cool visuals though.

14. One thing I didn’t like was all of the stuff with Crosshair. It was all just so contrived and weird and didnt make any sense and really just brought the show down in the end, writing-wise. Honestly, most of the stuff regarding the clones’ story arch after their interaction with the guy on Ryloth who still had his armor painted, where we’re supposed to just assume his inhibitor chip . . . didn’t work or something? But instead of anyone bothering to tell him what’s going on after such a big deal was made out of the chips the episode right before this, it’s treated like some kind of moral choice the guy is making kinda took me out of the story severely. And even more so when the same guy manages to talk a bunch of other clones out of working for the empire too. Like can they do that? We’ve had this idea that these chips essentially mind control you repeated to us over and over so wtf. There was no coherent explanation for any of it. Maybe it’ll be explained later somewhere else, but still. Weird to do it this way. They needed to be more consistent with what a horrible scary thing those chips were instead of doing whatever that was. But up until then it was a lot of fun sci-fi.

14. Every minute cody doesn’t show up in one of these post war 66 shows i get more and more excited for him to show up dramatically in kenobi

**Like fr picture it it’s year 2 of the clone wars. Anakin and Ahsoka are sitting at the space mahjong table in Cid’s parlor bored as fuck and ready to leave but Obi-wan is still in cid’s office. it’s hour four and they’re only halfway through orchestrating the most unnecessarily elaborate and convoluted deal for a piece of information like “where is cad bane the last time I saw him he stole my wallet and car keys and he refuses to return them yes my car got blown up but that’s not the point It’s The Principle Of The Thing.” Literally everyone around them grew bored of all of this 3 hours ago but not obi-wan and cid. This is what they do for fun and they are both having the time of their lives. Anakin this war is stressful some of us are trying to relax

#star wars #the bad batch #the clone wars

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firebunnylover · 3 years

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LoSH S2 discussion

I love Legion of Superheroes. And i love season 2, but that doesn’t mean I don’t think about how it could have been improved. In terms of quality, it varies more than season 1. Some parts are top tier while others… eh.

Season 2 is darker than season 1. And there’s the inherent stigmatism that darker means better. But it’s not true.

A horror schlock film is not inherently better than an animated film.

I don’t blame the staff on all its shortcomings. Kids WB was on its deathbed, so they probably had less time to work and iron out ideas. And executive meddling.

The second season had a lot of good elements, but there are things that weighed it down. I am here to discuss how to improve said things.

Heads up: ended up editing part of this post after rewatching the episodes.

This first bit is more of a personal preference, but instead of the 41st century, maybe move the original source of conflict to a farther region of space, one that the UP doesn’t interact with, and has been growing in terms of turmoil until they finally resort to bringing the Legion over. In other words, it has just been put aside by everyone else to the last minute.

Parallel to Brainy’s relationship to Brainiac. He doesn’t want to deal with it. He never brings it up. But maybe if he did, he wouldn’t have gotten corrupted.

This place still has plenty of old documentation of the original age of superman, so Kell is disillusioned with the ideal glory days. Keep Kell Edgy.

Kell’s home and K3NT still gets destroyed - reflects Krypton’s own destruction.

SPEAKING OF KELL:

Make his story more apparent that it’s one realizing that kindness is not an inherent weakness. And neither is being soft. He was raised for fighting and killing Imperiex, and was taught to think that they were weaknesses. Have him realize his identity can be beyond the Clone of Superman made to kill Imperiex. Or rather, have him react more to realizing that he’s moving beyond his given identity.

To clarify; they do address his development in the show a few times, but I want more continuous development instead of the rapid nods we get. Have him try to interact in a more humane way with others. Especially with other members of the Legion. Where they have to take a double take in seeing him acting not that edgy. Maybe offer more flashback of him fighting Imperiex in comparison, and how he treated allies then.

Also put K3NT’s story under the microscope. I doubt Imperiex just came out of nowhere with his attacks. Plus the fact they went far enough to send a hitman after a fucking child? That screams yikes and maybe we need to double check the story.

And an overall issue to be addressed is what rights do robots have and what conditions need to be met? Because let’s face it, we make robots to do complex work for us. But Colu is a culture where the main people ARE robots. Like in Transformers. What line do we draw between non-sentient robots vs the sentient ones in the 31st century? And what about cyborgs/people who give up their original bodies for robotic ones?

Plus Imperiex himself came to be because of the perfected combination of organic tissue and robotics. This topic of robots and individuality/personhood could have been a fun topic to explore.

Don’t sideline the girls. Leave TG alone.

Don’t put SG in a coma for nearly the whole season - seriously it’s the reason why the guys make one bad decision after the other. Although with that said, it’s because she’s not around we got the majority of s2 plots. She’s the goddamn mom of the squad. Just make her busier and unable to keep an eye on her idiot boys for the plots based on bad decisions to happen.

Or have her deal with after-effects of what Esper did to her. Maybe after a whole season of being the emotional support character, have her be the one in need of emotional support or not being able to help directly, especially when the group needs emotional support. Emotional support paradox.

Maybe don’t make Cosmic Boy appear as much as a dick in the episodes where he does show up. He’s trying to hold this goddamn team together, and there’s a goddamn tyrant trying to conquer the galaxy. HE’S FUCKING TIRED AND STRESSED. AND IM SURE THERE ARE A BUNCH OF JERKS WHO WANT TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THAT TO DISSOLVE THE LEGION. Better yet, throw in some more backstory with him and his little brother Pol!

And in regards to Imperiex… The dude has a lot of potential. I like his voice actor, Phil Morris. The guy voiced Dr. Sweets from Atlantis.

But his writing needs help.

In the original DC comics, he’s the embodiment of Entropy. Anyone who’s seen Madoka is probably familiar with what that is. But if you're not, here’s a definition: “ the measure of a system’s thermal energy per unit temperature that is unavailable for doing useful work...” He’s the embodiment of that energy that cannot be used for anything. And Entropy grows over time.

Another definition of what Entropy is “lack of order or predictability; gradual decline into disorder.”

In the comics, he’s more of a cosmic being as a result of him being an embodiment of unusable energy. He’s been in existence since, well, the beginning. He had destroyed the universe and recreated it multiple times. Okay, so that lines up with how the show portrays him. And technically, he does get the universe to reset itself in the 41st century when he alters the 31st century enough.

But I personally feel that making him a cosmic being is kinda… meh?

I personally prefer more personal villains most of the time. Don’t get me wrong, an Eldritch being done right makes a great character, but I can’t see Imperiex as one. At least not LoSH’s version.

Plus I like it when the protagonist sees the villain has a point and has changed as a result for the better.

You know, over a year ago, I used to think that it was impossible to make a tyrannical villain who’s presented as real evil seem complex.

And then… I was introduced to TFP Megatron.

Now for you LoSH fans who haven’t watched Transformers Prime, Megatron was once Megatronus. A low caste member who worked in the mines and Gladiator games. He wanted to fix the growing corruption of Cybertron. To make things better.

But his worse personality traits took over, and he lost that good motivation. Now he’s just fighting to win and defeat Optimus Prime.

But despite the change of goals and ideals, he doesn’t want to simply abandon his relationship with Optimus. He and Optimus, or as he used to be called, Orion, were fighting for the betterment of society. And they meant something to each other. Megatron doesn’t want to just get it over with. He wants fanfare for his victory over Optimus. And he doesn’t want anyone else to rob him off that. But he isn’t opposed to getting Optimus/Orion back on his side. It’s because of this you can still argue that there is a remaining shred of good in him.

They were the best young lovers anD NO I AM NOT CRYING OVER THEM!

Also, the fact we know he was part of a minority group in the form of the lower cast that was enslaved can make us sympathize with Megatronus of the past, as well as understand how he came to be.

It doesn’t mean we forgive him for his actions - and he has done a lot of shitty things. And I mean a lot.

But his history is more understandable. TFP Megatron’s a fall from grace.

OK I’m done dissecting TFP Meg’s writing.

We know Imperiex was a slave, and was originally organic, who’s from a society where his purpose is literally just to fight, and was gradually stripped of his original body. He was originally stripped of any agency before then though.

But he says this was a good thing. Calling his original body a weakness. And refers to his old self as a pathetic slave.

He gave up whatever softness he had.

Also, this is where K3NT’s story needs to be reexamined. Imperiex was made during what K3NT described as “A Time of Extended Prosperity”. That time had freaking slaves. And K3NT says that when Imperiex did rise up, they were unprepared. So… they were prosperous, but lacked defense to prevent anything like that happening? Or perhaps those who were in charge were that unpopular that it was easy for Imperiex to start the war.

What made him decide conquering the galaxy was the next thing to do after he had every bit of his original self stripped away? Why go as far as destroy it?

What I’m trying to say is that they could borrow a few pages from the Megatron book. Maybe he was once trying to better the society he was part of, but he decides to play the violent card at some point. And somewhere along that strategy, he starts to lose sight of the initial goal. With that, being the victor and in control becomes the main one.

Or perhaps he has grown cynical of the galaxy as it is and decides it just needs to go all together, and then start from scratch.

Like the second definition of Entropy, he gradually declines in predictability and descends into disorder.

Maybe to juxtaposition the fact that Brainiac became the main threat at the end, make him the opposite or foil to him. Rationality or logic do not serve as first-or-second influences to decisions under pressure. Emotions and his own perceived ideas do.

Speaking of Brainiac, maybe offer more of the OG Brainiac. Give us more of that smooth-voiced Corey Burton.

Or TFA Megatron.

Seductive Bastard.

I’m sorry I have fallen for the shady-business-mafia-boss-but-morally-grey robot.

Also, the members of the legion that only get one episode focus? Give them more screen time. You can’t just introduce superman’s new adopted son Karate Kid and just not bring him for another speaking role again!

Actually, that brings me to another point.

As @spandexinspace pointed out, his episode is not the best, and is arguably the worst written of the whole series. Things that are issues do get brushed off to the side.

So a proposal on potential rewrite:

First, have the legion look over its current rules and what exceptions/changes they need to make.

Explore the subject of kids having to participate in these fights.

To clarify, kid shows are meant to be escapism for kids.

Shocking, I know.

So it makes sense that some characters would be the same age as the viewers.

But while this is good representation, as you get older, you find yourself going “WHY WOULD THE ADULTS LET THEM ENDANGER THEMSELVES?!”

Kids having to fight at that age does have consequences. Batman Beyond certainly addressed it. So did Steven Universe Future.

Steven ended up being responsible for so much, that when he no longer needed to take care of things, he was unsure of who he was. And then there’s the fact he ended up with PTSD because of him having to fight so much. Then you have the fact that Greg and Rose never intended to raise him like their caretakers did... but as good as their intentions were, they still caused damage. Rose for… all the gem stuff. And look, Greg is a great dad, but not enforcing anything for Steven when he’s growing up still has it’s cost.

With Batman, he’s obviously going to do his damn best to keep kids safe, including the Robins. But sometimes, it’s not enough. He wasn’t able to keep Tim safe in the event with the Joker in Batman Beyond. Where he was held captive and tortured.

But the Batkids are never expected to resolve this stuff by themselves. Because Batman knows how much you can get screwed up as a kid. He fucking cares.

And to be fair, in most continuities I’m aware of, the other sidekicks came out pretty okay overall.

Except Jason Todd.

So my proposal?

Have Val originally with Grimbor, as a sort of Protege. But have the legion capture him, only to go “uhhh this is a child with no powers”. And Superman, being the good, wholesome paragon we all love, takes him under his wing.

In all honesty, I want Superman pulling a batdad for Karate Kid in his intro episode the whole time. That was the best part of the episode for me.

Plus after the events of “Cry Wolf”, the Legion should examine the no-killing rule. Because they do need to kill Imperiex to save the universe. But that goes against the code. But they can argue it’s a necessity. But Mar Londo is also a monster. He’s the everyday monster some of us have grown up with.

When do you need to make exceptions to kill someone?

And my final main suggestion:

Add more Mekt.

What the heck were you guys expecting? You all KNOW me by now. I LOVE MY GARBAGE BOY.

Joking aside, here’s what I would do.

Have the Chained Lightning episode pushed back, but have Mekt with Imperiex earlier. Most of us would yell “Why the heck would you join the guy whose main goal is to destroy the galaxy?!” But this is one of the easiest things to address.

Explore more of his past. Use the comic sources with him being outcast for being a solo on Winath. With that in mind, him deciding to side with Imperiex can make sense.

Why try protecting something that has done nothing but hurt you?

There’s actually a pretty good reason why he would side with Imperiex, as seen in Champions and Lightning Storm. Remember, Mekt was willing to cheat to get ahead of the sports competition he was introduced in. And also was thrilled when fighting Garth and was beating him on his own. He likes being in power.

Imperiex offers him that.

As for why Imperiex would bother with Mekt? That’s a little harder to answer. He knows that Mekt has a soft spot for his brother, and in turn sister, which proves to be the reason why the Tachyon Cannon fails. You’d think Imperiex would remove a huge fatality.

But he doesn’t.

Maybe he could hold another type of value for Mekt. Perhaps... nostalgia?

I’m still sold on the idea that they were sleeping together.

Also, give us a conclusive answer on where Mekt stands with the LSV. In the comics, he was the leader, but that role was given to Tyr in the cartoon more or less.

OK I think this has been polished enough for me to post now. What you guys think? Feel free to add on!

#legion of superheroes #legion of super heroes #losh #OH GOD I STARTED THIS IN SEPTEMBER #IT'S FINALLY DONE

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