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atinylittlepain · 1 year

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okay i have a joel request!! so yknow in the game where joel pushes ellie into the water as a joke, how about that situation with reader while they’re just playing around and reader pretends to drown or like not come back up to the surface to get back at him LOL and he’s just not happy

hey there! i love this idea, i did give it a lil of my own twist bc i like to write a very grumpy Joel lol - i hope you like it :)

Splash

Joel Miller x f!reader

joel miller masterlist

She's just trying to get him to lighten up, but Joel is far from amused.

warnings | 18+ angst, allusions to smut, joel is a stinker

......................

“C’mon.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Joel–”

“No. We’re supposed to be on patrol, not fucking around.” She huffs, turning heel and traipsing further away from him and closer to the lake they had just come across. It’s the middle of the summer, and even up in the mountains, the heat is nearly stifling, especially as they’ve been hiking around on patrol for the last three hours.

She kneels down at the water’s edge, dipping her hand into the lake. The water is refreshingly cool, and sends a shiver down her spine. She looks over her shoulder at Joel, who’s standing with his arms crossed over his chest, a pursed look on his face as he squints at her. Rolling her eyes, she stands, dropping her rifle down alongside her as she starts to toe off her boots and peel off her shirt. She can hear him scoff behind her.

“What’re you doing?” Now bare from the waist up, she turns to look at him, enjoying his wide eyes and slack expression as he takes in her figure, like it isn’t the thousandth time he’s seen her like this.

“Our shift’s almost over and we haven’t seen a damn thing. I’m hot and tired and I’m gonna cool off in the lake. You don’t wanna join me? Fine. You can stay scowling like that and keep watch, Miller.” Before he can reply, she’s already turning back around, shucking off her pants and underwear in one brisk tug. She hears him gruffly sigh her name, but she gives it no acknowledgement, wading out into the lake until she can float lazily in the deepest part. It really does feel good, the cool water easing her aching muscles. She tips her head back, letting out a moan of relief, her eyes fluttering shut. When she cracks one eye open, she sees that Joel has sidled up along the water’s edge, his scowl softened into a little pout as he watches her.

“Just get in, Joel. Feels so good.” She can just barely hear his grumbles as she watches him sit down at the edge of the lake.

The moment she has the idea, she knows it’s mean, cruel even. But she’s sick of him taking everything so goddamn seriously. They’ve been living in Jackson for months now, the most comfortable and safe situation they’ve probably ever found themselves in, but Joel is still acting like a skittish asshole. So, she decides that if he can’t lighten up on his own, she’s gonna make him.

She calls his name to get his attention, acting like she’s about to say something more before letting out a dramatic gasp and starting to splash jerkily in the water. He’s up in a flash, calling her name in concern. Got him. She pushes herself down under the water, sinking slowly to the bottom of the lake.

Joel meanwhile is a frantic mess as he practically dives into the water still in his clothes. He keeps calling her name, dipping under the water, but it’s too murky to see anything. Even at the deepest part of the lake, the water only comes up to his chest as he moves around, eyes darting everywhere for her. He lets out a loud curse when something brushes against his leg.

She pops out of the water with a spluttering laugh, quickly wrapping her arms around his neck as he tries to jerk away. His hands find purchase on her waist, squeezing harshly as he lets out another string of curses. She can’t stop laughing, trying to lightly shush his exclamations, but judging from the look on Joel’s face, he doesn’t find anything about this funny.

“Oh, c’mon, Joel–” he doesn’t let her finish before he’s shrugging out of her hold, leaving her splashing back into the water as he trudges back onto shore. He doesn’t even look at her as he wrings out the ends of his shirt, sliding his rifle back onto his shoulder.

“Get out and get dressed. We’re going home, goddamnit.” She swallows hard, still treading lightly in the middle of the lake, clearly not moving quick enough for Joel as he finally turns and fixes her with a steely glare.

“Now!” She jumps in her skin at his raspy shout, quickly swimming back to land before his temper fires any further.

It’s a very quiet hike back to Jackson, and she winces when Tommy greets them at the gate, slapping Joel on the shoulder before looking at his brother questioningly.

“What the fuck happened to your clothes, man?” Joel huffs, shrugging off Tommy’s hand and stomping off toward their home. She smiles apologetically at Tommy before trailing behind Joel, entirely dreading the groveling she’s going to have to do.

When they both get home, he still won’t talk to her, won’t even look at her as she follows him into their bedroom, watching him shuck off his damp clothes for a dry shirt and pants.

“Joel, I’m sorry, ok? Will you please just–” he holds up his hand, and she stutters into silence.

“Don’t– just don’t.” Before she can say anything else, he’s already shuffling out of the room with a huff. She sighs when she hears the front door open and slam behind him.

…

She spends the rest of the afternoon helping at the greenhouses, only being shaken out of her guilty thoughts when Ellie joins her, kneeling down alongside her and the garden beds.

“Just ran into the old man at the stables. Is there a reason he looks more pissed off than usual?” She huffs, sitting back on her haunches where she had been tending several plants.

“Think I’m in the doghouse, kid. Did something kinda mean to him on patrol today.” Ellie snorts, shrugging lightly.

“Eh, he probably deserved it. I wouldn’t worry about it, though. Joel couldn’t stay mad at you even if he tried.” She sighs, offering the girl a small smile as she squeezes her shoulder.

“I’d rather not think about it anymore. What’re you up to, huh?” Ellie grins.

“Just stopping by to let you know I’m hanging out with Dina tonight. Probably won’t be home until late so don’t wait up.” She can’t help but smile at the girl’s obvious excitement, laughing lightly.

“Alright, kid. Just be safe, ok? And smart.” Ellie nods as she gets up, already backpedaling away.

“Yes ma’am! And hey, seriously, don’t sweat whatever funk you put the old man in. I’m sure it’ll blow over soon enough.” She does her best to give Ellie one more smile, but it quickly wilts away once the girl is out of sight. The truth is, she hadn’t seen him quite that angry in a long time, and for it to be over something so silly, it has her worried. It was an unnecessarily dumb thing to do, sure, but it certainly didn’t merit such a backlash of a response from him.

She sighs, getting back to work, but she can’t shake the swirling thought that she’s really not looking forward to talking with him again.

…

She lingers well into dusk at the greenhouses, knowing full well it’s not because she has a particular fondness for mulch. By the time she reaches their house, the sun has set and a faint glow comes from the windows. It’s quiet when she steps inside, she can just make out the faint twang of guitar strings coming from upstairs. Not a great sign, she knows Joel tends to play when he wants to be left alone.

As she makes her way upstairs, she takes a few steadying breaths, padding quietly into their bedroom. He’s sitting on the end of the bed, brow furrowed in concentration on his fingers lightly plucking at the guitar strings. He doesn’t even look her way, continuing to play nonsense chords. She sighs, getting up on the bed to kneel behind him. She can feel his muscles tense when she brings her palms to his shoulders, but he slackens slightly when she lays a kiss between his shoulder blades.

“I’m sorry, Joel. I really am.” She murmurs it into the worn material of his t-shirt, pressing her forehead into his back. She can feel the push and pull of the sigh he lets out, can hear the sound of him gently setting his guitar down. One of his hands tangles with hers where it’s resting over his shoulder. His voice is low and thick when he speaks, what remains of his southern drawl muddling the words together.

“Fucking scared me. What were you thinking? I just– I–” She shushes him, moving to sit next to him, but Joel has something else in mind, squeezing her hip to guide her to straddle his thighs. Now that he’s finally looking at her, she kind of wishes he’d stop, his eyes so intensely staring her down. She huffs, winding her arms behind his neck.

“I wasn’t thinking, alright? It was stupid– just a stupid thing to do and I’m sorry. But Joel, you just– you got so angry. I haven’t seen you like that in a long time. I just feel like it was a little blown out of proportion.” He sighs, his fingers flexing into the plush of her hips as he studies her face.

“I know you’re right, but christ– I just feel restless. Waiting for the other shoe to drop, I guess. For all this to be too good to be true.” Her brow furrows and she dips her head to catch his downturned gaze.

“What if it isn’t too good to be true, huh? This is the longest we’ve stayed anywhere in a long time, hell, maybe ever. I understand, I really do. But I think we have a really good thing here, and you’re so skittish it’s passing right by you.” A deep frown still creases his face, his gaze not quite meeting hers. She starts laying smacking kisses to his cheeks, the downturned corners of his mouth, punctuating each with reassuring mantras.

“I’m safe. You’re safe. Ellie’s safe. We’re safe.” He grumbles under her ministrations, squeezing her hips, but she can tell by the way his features are softening that he’s finally starting to give in to her coaxing, letting out a long sigh as he looks at her.

“You’re right– but I can’t help being on edge. Just the thought of something happening to you or Ellie– I don’t even–” She cuts him off, tugging lightly at the curls at the nape of his neck.

“So don’t. Just be here with us, right now. Here with me.” She presses a chaste peck to his lips to seal her words, but as she pulls away, he chases after it, pulling her into a deeper kiss. They’re both a bit breathless once they finally separate, a smile daring to tug at the corners of Joel’s lips.

“Still a little mad at you.” She huffs, pouting out her lip at him.

“Aw, poor baby. Want me to make it up to you?” He lets out a breathy chuckle as she’s already slinking out of his hold, down onto her knees between his legs. She rubs her palms up his thighs and he shakes his head at her, nothing but fondness in his eyes.

“Gonna be the death of me, woman.”

#joel miller angst #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #joel miller fluff #joel miller imagine #joel miller one shot #tlou fanfiction #tlou

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rebouks · 2 months

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Previous // Next

Hi Alex!

I don’t think it’s stupid or cheesy to miss someone, I miss you too! Going back to normal after being on holiday is always horrible, especially after this one, and especially having to go back to school, I’m not a big fan! Do you go to school too? I wanted to ask if you did but I couldn’t… it’s nothing personal, by the way, sometimes I just can’t speak to people and I don’t really know why. I thought it was my decision if I did or didn’t before I met you but maybe not. My parents n’ the teachers at school call it selective mutism but I won’t bore you with all that crap.

I can’t see your new teeth but they grow fast so maybe next time! If they don’t maybe you could get some gold one’s like your dad has, unless you don’t wanna look like a pirate lol.. my littlest sister has four teeth now, and I have all my big teeth! I haven’t counted the twins though cos they’d probably bite me if I tried haha!!

Ava is the tiny one with the blonde pigtails! She’s cute but she still sleeps and poops a lot haha, she’s sorta chill though and definitely doesn’t cry as much as Wren and Byrd used to (have you noticed we’re all named after birds yet? I guess my parents thought it was cute since our last name is Finch) Wren’s the ginger one with plaits! She’s pretty funny but she’s super grumpy sometimes and likes to bite and kick (not me though, she loves me) I think it’s cos she’s tired a lot cos she never sleeps at night, kinda like dad.. they’re twins but Byrd is way different, I couldn’t get a picture of him cos he kept running off, he’s crazy like that but he’s super snuggly and loves playing doctor! He likes to pretend to break my legs so I can’t go anywhere then fix them for me haha. Brothers and sisters are fun but they can be a pain in the butt sometimes! We have a cat called Lou too, his full name is Toulouse and he likes to bring us leaves from the garden and scream about ‘em, and he loves stealing food when you’re not looking.

Dad’s been teaching mom how to cook cos she sucks at it (don’t tell her I said that though cos I always pretend it’s not THAT bad) she’s sorta getting better though so I suppose the whole practice makes perfect thing pays off eventually. I got a school project to make a lame volcano that I didn’t wanna do as well, but my parents made me do it anyway.. we all know that real volcanoes aren’t full of baking powder and vinegar though so I dunno if there was much point to it but they seemed to think it was important so I did it anyway, at least I got a picture of it “going off” I guess. No one likes homework, even if it’s supposed to be fun, right?!

It’s cool you set Amber free!! I’m sure she’s happier wherever she is now so I guess you could just think of that when you miss her? The rocks are way cooler anyway! My aunt Aspen has loads of crystals too, sometimes she even charges them in the sun or the full moon.. I keep forgetting to ask her why but I’ll try and remember so I can tell you next time!

Hahaa your poor dad with those birds! I’ll definitely keep the picture cos it’s hilarious, Wren found it the funniest but don’t worry, I’ll keep the picture safe from her sticky hands! I have a hiding spot in the attic for all the stuff I don’t want them touching. I guess birdwatching is sorta fun sometimes but you’ve gotta be quiet (easy for me I guess.. hah!) I’m not sure there’s any other birds round here other than seagulls since we live right next to the sea, those are the ones you can hear the most anyway cos they never shut up! My dad jokes that he used to be a seagull in a past life cos he’s loud and greedy like they are lol.. he’s been building me a treehouse too, I bet that’d be good for birdwatching!! It’ll be super cool once he’s finished but it’s taking ages cos he mostly does it all by himself, I try n’ help sometimes but I’m still too small to carry or lift most things.. I wanna be as strong as him one day, he can build and fix almost anything (he swears a lot during it though haha!) Do you ever think about what you wanna be when you grow up? I don’t really think about that sorta stuff cos working sounds boring, especially if it’s as lame as school!!

I’m ten, by the way! How old are you and when’s your birthday? Mine’s February 22nd. I don’t think I have a favourite food, anything my dad makes is amazing cos he’s a good cook and my mom makes the BEST pancakes! We’re always stuffed after dinner but dad says (lies) that pudding goes in a different part of your stomach so there’s always room for cake haha.. I think I like it best when he makes spicy food but Wren and Byrd hate it so he doesn’t make stuff like that too often. It’s fun to see how much you can eat before your mouth feels like it’s on fire and I’ve decided I’m gonna beat him one day so he better watch out!!!

I didn’t know what to write at first but I guess I sorta ended up writing quite a lot since I had some catching up to do! Are you and your dad on holiday in the tower or are you living there for now? It sorta sounded like you’ve been there a long time, where do you usually live? What kinda stuff does your dad dig up for work? It’d be cool if he dug up dinosaur bones!! I watched something like that recently and they were HUGE!

It’s hard to think of questions on the spot but you can talk about anything you want too! I probably owe you a million answers as well so you can ask anything you want too! I had fun reading your letter and I’m glad we can be pen-pals even if we don’t get to see each other! Maybe next time we meet in person I’ll be able to say something, but writing would still be fun too so I guess it doesn’t really matter, right?

Love Robin c:

ps. I’m keeping the funny photo of you yelling at your dad and there’s nothing you can do about it!!

pps!! I don’t have a way to print out photos yet otherwise I’d have sent some new ones. Dad gave me an old polaroid ages ago but it’s still broken, his friend said he might be able to fix it though so hopefully I can use that next time. Mom said you can have some of our old ones and the ones from her disposable camera whilst we were on holiday for now though so I’ll send those to you as soon as they come back!

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lvckyyz · 4 months

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hypno’s cabin headcanon

cabin’s song: you’re on your own kid - taylor swift

in greek mythology says that hypnos had a lot of children, however i don’t believe he would get involved with mortals very often

cabin 15 doesn’t have too many people, so they decided to have bigger beds and more hangouts spots in their cabin to make it more comfortable

they spend a lot of time indoors and some times their friends from other cabins have to drag them out of their rooms

and of course they are not always sleeping!like, they know that being a demigod can be dangerous and training will help them survive outside the camp

but it doesn’t mean that they enjoy training; they get tired really quick

a lot of people underestimate children of hypnos during battles

but like, they literally have power over your mind and imagination (also can make you sleep with their touch)

they know they’re powerful and just chose not to show off their skills because: their opponents won’t expect them to be so strong, and they’re too lazy to care about what the others think about them

they get along with every kind of person and could have a lot of friends if they wanted to, however, they always prefer to have only a few friends that they trust the most

usually friends with cabin 4, 20 and, surprisingly, with cabin 12

they are the cutest friends ever

hypnos children are very loyal to the ones they love, and will always help when they need

they’re good siblings, all of them are really close to each other

they gave up passing the daily cabin inspections a long time ago, and it came to a point where they don’t even get those visits any more

some of them suffer from insomnia, but luckily their siblings are always there to help

all of them are addicted to caffeine

almost everyone in cabin 15 have a stuffed toy they had since a really young age and treat it like they’re alive

can be really funny sometimes (usually make jokes that no one understand too)

they absolutely love trying to find meanings to other people’s dreams

but also have the weirdest dreams in the whole camp and never manage to understand their own subconscious

sometimes they can be selfish

because they don’t worry about things they can do ten minutes later

or even pretend they have nothing to do

children of hypnos can be acting like a child in one second and then just be all grumpy and lazy

they have one of the best tastes for music in the whole camp

a/n: hii everyone! so, this is my first headcanon, i have no idea if it is good or not but i just wanted to start writting. i’m sorry if there are some spelling mistakes (english is not my first language), so if you have any criticism, i’d love to hear it so i can improve! thank you for reading💞

next: cabin 4 💐

#pjo #pjo hoo toa #cabin 15 #heros of olympus #percy jackon and the olympians #riordanverse #mithology #headcanon #pjo tv show #percy jackson #jason grace #leo valdez #annabeth chase #pjo imagine #rick riordan

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teecupangel · 11 months

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Here's an idea I think you might enjoy: animus but Des is in their head, controlling them. They can feel it and talk to him and everything, ratatouille style.

……………… You know what would be funny, nonny?

If Desmond sucks at controlling them.

Like, we’ve heard the rites of passage in AC games:

We make them jump instead of doing a leap of faith

We accidentally make them climb the wrong high building and the actual viewpoint is the tower next to it

We miscalculate a jump and fall into the waters below or into an unsuspecting civilian

And there’s the game specific problems I refuse to believe I’m the only one who suffered thru it.

So just imagine Desmond trying to control them in the Animus and they know they’re being controlled.

There’s this… change in the air around them. It feels more charged. More… mysterious.

And they also become clumsier for some goddamn reason.

Incidents include:

Altaïr falling into the waters in the docks of Acre for the fifteenth time and he just hisses under his breath, “What is wrong with you?! Do you enjoy seeing me wet?!” and Desmond’s just “Dude, your control sucks!” which leads to Altaïr having an argument with Desmond under his breath about how his ‘control’ (whatever that means) does not suck, Desmond just sucks at this thing he likes to call ‘platforming’ and they both just agreed that, yeah, okay, they’re gonna assassinate Sibrand by going around instead even if it meant Altaïr had to walk slowly and pretend to be praying the entire time.

Altaïr breathing heavily as he glared at the ten (nope, five more guards found him in open combat, damn it) guards trying to kill him. One of them stepped forward and raised his sword. Altaïr readied himself and he still got hit, “(Growl)! Desmond! Get your timing right!” “Your Hidden Blade counter timing is too fast, Altaïr! Let’s just use your swor-” “No! You will learn how to counter using the hidden blade or, I swear, I will find a way to control you and drill it to your body myself!” (Guards just glance at each other, thinking “oh shit, he’s insane”)

Ezio just staring into the sky as he places his hands on his waist as he called out, “Desmond! How about we try this again later?” “No! I almost got it!” “……… It’s been an hour, Desmond. Let’s try clearing this tomb after-” “No! We’re gonna get that Armor today if it’s the last thing we do! Just… this goddamn time limit is annoying! Time limit sucks!” Ezio who is already used to the mysterious voice (who calls himself Desmond)’s strange words: “………… (sigh)”

“I can take them out. Desmond, please, I’m begging you, let me take them out. I can do-” (Desmond takes control and Ezio watches as his recruits take down the targets) The recruits looking at Ezio for approval. Ezio: Bene, that was a good takedown. (inside, Ezio is just tired because Desmond is enjoying all this ‘summoning’ thing too much…)

“Why can’t we have different lethal bombs?! You have the ingredients for it!” “I don’t know, Desmond. Could we just please finish preparing all the bombs?” “Dude, wouldn’t it be better if we have, like, all of these bombs?” “… I don’t think I have enough space in belt for all of them…” “You should get a bag.” “(Sigh) Desmond, we already talked about this. This Animus of yours don’t allow more ‘inventory’, right?” (inside, Ezio is wondering what his life has become that he sorta kinda understand the words leaving his mouth)

“Desmond… I’m imploring you to not mess this up.” “I’m trying, man, this is hard.” “Who are you talking to, Haytham?” “Ziio! No… no one.” “…” “… sigghhh… Desmond say hello to Ziio.” “Hi, Ziio.” “… is this a curse placed upon you white men?” “…” “…” “…” “Perhaps.” “Sorta?”

“You are a Templar. May the Father of Understanding guide us.” “May the Father of Understanding guide us.” “Wait, what?!” “…” “…” “Master Kenway, is something the matter?” “… no, Charles. I simply… remembered something foul.”

“It’s okay, Desmond. You’ll get this soon enough. Just take a deep breath and………… Desmond. Desmond. Please stop doing whatever you’re doing right now. My head is starting to hurt.” “It’s not me! The cameras of these tree view points sucks ass!”

“How is it you came to captain a ship, given the way you sail?” “Oh, screw you, Haytham! You wanna talk shit, why don’t you try doing this shit yourself, huh?!” “…” “…” “…” “… Apologies, father. Desmond was out of line.” “No, I’m not, fuck you, Haytham!” “I can say with absolute delight I have not missed you one bit, Desmond.” “Bite me, tacohead.” “I still do not know what that means.”

#desmond is using the animus #to control them ratatouille style #but he sucks at controlling them #shenanigans happen #is he truly controlling them in the past?#or is this the animus giving them more agency than anyone expected #regardless #they suffer as desmond tries to not get them killed #ask and answer #assassin's creed #desmond miles #altaïr ibn la'ahad #ezio auditore #ratonhnhaké:ton #connor kenway #haytham kenway #teecup writes/has a plot #fic idea: assassin's creed

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seeingivy · 10 months

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the time of your life

actor!eren x f!reader

**part of my method acting fic, masterlist here

content: character death (LOL), very immature fifteen year old humor (that was cross confirmed with real fifteen year olds), idk reader and eren being mad corny

an: tried my best to make this chapter fun but I will just POST WHAT I HAVE BUT THE NEXT ONE IS ONE OF MY FAVS IM SO EXCITED

previous part linked here

Things settle down after the panel, and Eren convinces you to put all your energy into finishing the season. Because you’re going to prove them wrong and now you just have to do it. And as much effort as you put in, the rest of them all make it fun too.

And Eren’s right.

They really are great - funny, charismatic, and idiotic in their own ways.

The inside jokes start one week after filming when you’ve finally learned everyone’s names. And, of course, it starts with Reiner. You and Historia are so tired after filming that you quickly run back to the townhouse just to get snacks from the main kitchen. With the mention of food, Sasha’s following, and then Connie, suddenly, everyone’s marching back together.

Except when you get there, Reiner is in the kitchen. Not only is he shirtless, but he’s also doing some next-level opera singing. For some reason, he’s trying to sing both parts of the Phantom of the Opera and… actually succeeding?

Connie leans over, whispering.

“Look at those mommy milkers.”

You all burst out laughing, which stops Reiner in his tracks. And he momentarily stops and scratches his head before he keeps singing, this time serenading all of you. He’s taking Ymir by the hand and swinging her around and holding hands with Jean as they rock back and forth that even Mikasa’s snorting at the sight of him. You're all sold after that.

Speaking of Mikasa, as solemn and quiet as she can be, she’s gotten you into quite a bit of trouble. Trouble meaning severe back pain. When she first moved into your room, she mentioned that she was a bit of an early riser. She likes to work out to get her blood moving before shooting, claiming that “it gets her in the zone.”

Somehow, she convinces you and Sasha to join her one morning, and by the end of it, Jean and Marco are dragging you both back to the house by your legs, having to shove the two of you in an ice bath.

You just didn’t realize that an early riser meant four in the morning, and working out means an all-intensive full-body press. Levi’s pissed at you and Sasha for being stupid enough to think you could keep up and you’re both mad at Levi for having such little faith in you.

In true dad fashion, Levi’s always lecturing you guys. More like pretending to be mad, berating you around the set. But you know that he cares because the second that you guys ask him for something, no matter how stupid it is, he’ll be the first to give in.

Exhibit A? Marco and Jean recently find out that Levi became a triple threat from doing his own stunts on Bond - including a quadruple flip. They’re both so intrigued by it that every time they see Levi, they force him to do it.

“Levi.”

“No, Marco. I’m not going to do a flip.”

“Do a flip! Levi, please please please please please do a flip. It’s just so fucking cool.”

“Watch your language, Jean. You need to wash your mouth out with soap.”

“I won’t say fuck for a week if you flip, Levi. Please!” Jean says, shaking Levi’s hands as he talks.

Levi begrudgingly rolls his eyes and then backflips in the living room, earning half hearted cheers. It was cool the first eleven times, but Jean literally asks him to do it daily. It gets old fast.

“That was so fucking cool, Levi! Thanks.” Jean says, running off. He bumps into Sasha, who's clearly going to throw up as she runs past.

Levi’s sick and tired of Jean. And Hange too. And himself for thinking that filming with a bunch of teenagers was going to be a good idea.

After finding out that Sasha will quite literally eat anything you put in front of her, Hange’s started a dangerously horrible game of seeing what Sasha will eat without paying attention to it.

Ketchup on watermelon, ice cream with salt in it, cake with mayo. It’s become so disgusting that you can’t tell who people are more grossed out with - Hange for making the concoction or Sasha for eating it. (It’s Sasha)

Armin’s taken maybe twenty before and after pictures of Sasha during these “experiments” that Hange runs and then sticks them onto the kitchen wall - perfectly labeled with the food Sasha ate underneath them.

And he loves taking pictures so much that there’s now a big wall at the front of the set of just individual and group pictures, Armin’s little pictures and commentary tacked to the wall.

One of Jean and Sasha playing video games, labeled “the great war”

Another one of Ymir and Bertholdt tackling each other, labeled “ice cream gate”

And one of Eren pinching your cheek, labeled “the l/n-jaegers”

Right. In another life, you’re all convinced that Connie was destined to work for the paparazzi. Because every time you and Eren are together, he somehow manages to capture a picture at the worst time - making something innocent look like totally not.

Like when you and Eren share a blanket on set because there’s only one left. Or when he helps you put the harnesses on and his hands are around your waist for two seconds . When you guys share the breakfast burritos on set because they’re too big to eat alone. With context, they’re not that bad.

But Connie always catches it at the worst time and then posts it to his fucking TikTok account. His stupid series has garnered millions of views, and you’ve both tried to convince him to stop, to which he refuses

And when you tried to get Erwin involved, he only supported Connie more - stating it was good press for the show. He’s named the series “the l/n-jaegers” hence the label on the polaroid.

There’s currently 32 different parts.

But you know you can’t stop him even if you tried because Connie proves to be the most menacing idiot on set. Him and Annie have developed a horrible habit of pranking everyone on around - Levi, Hange, and Erwin specifically. It’s not that Annie loves pranks, she’s just the only one who can keep a straight face.

“Hey Hange.”

“What’s up, Annie?”

“There’s this guy who works in hair and makeup. He has a few ideas for the Female Titan costume design. He wants to talk to you.”

“Oh. What’s his name?”

“Ben Dover.” responds Connie, the look on his and Annie’s faces blank.

“Ben Dover?” Hange repeats the rest of you, trying you shoving your faces into the script to stop laughing as they respond.

“Yeah. They said they’ve talked to Erwin before. He’s been working with Hugh Jass, on the makeup team.” says Annie.

Erwin walks over, the look on his face confused. And it just gets worse.

“Who is Hugh Jass? I’ve never seen him before.”

“Oh, he’s hard to miss. Really big guy,” responds Connie, his face breaking a little.

Levi walks over, and when Annie talks again, it’s the final nail in the coffin. You and Eren are literally smacking your hands over each other's mouths, the tears spilling out of your eyes to not give them away.

“Okay, we’ll go over there now. Thanks for telling us Annie, Connie.”

“Cool! They’re waiting with Ben Overbich.”

“What?”

“Ben Overbich. It’s Swedish, sir.” Annie responds.

Levi shrugs as he, Hange, and Erwin walk off to go to talk to the costume designers. And when they all walk away, you’re all panting on the floor, gasping for breath. Connie keeps mimicking Erwin, saying Hugh Jass, and Berholdt keeps quoting it’s Swedish sir, which doesn’t make it any better.

When they return, Levi and Erwin are all yanking you by the ears onto the set since the costume team told them what the jokes actually meant. And there’s something so presidential about Erwin naturally that when he starts lecturing you, it starts feeling like he’s giving a sermon.

“You guys are premier faces in the industry. Imagine how people would feel if they found out you were making crude jokes like you were fifteen years old.”

“Sir.”

“Yes, Ymir.”

“We are fifteen years old.”

You’re all snickering as Erwin continues, Hange rolling their eyes as he goes on.

“You should know better. Ben Dover is not a funny joke. Huge asses are nothing to laugh about. You should wish to have that type of issue.”

Jean leans over, whispering in yours and Eren’s ear.

“The divine truths of humanity.”

You laugh and Erwin stares you down, Eren smacking you for laughing out loud.

“Y/N. Up.”

You groan as stand next to him, the lot of them laughing at you, as Erwin stares you down.

“Erwin.”

“Y/N. What did you learn in class yesterday?”

“Uh. States and capitals?”

“Perfect. Name them all.”

You groan. Of course, you get stuck with Erwin and his weird punishments. He always quizzes you guys on random stuff from your classes when you take too long on set or are late to a table read. And you’re usually free from that, but Jean’s stupid comment got you.

“Uh. Okay. California is Los Angeles.”

“Wrong. It’s Sacramento.”

“I’m Canadian, Erwin. This isn’t even fair.”

He shakes his head dismissively as you keep going, literally getting every single one wrong. And when you reach the fifth incorrect state, Eren takes his stand, helping you with the rest of them.

“Eren. No one asked you if you knew the states and capitals.” Erwin says, pinching both of your ears as they all laugh.

“Can’t leave my girl hanging here.”

“Your girl?” repeats Connie and the rest of them widen their eyes, leaving you and Eren to be met with a bunch of “oohs” and “aahs”

Which only flusters Eren even more. And makes your cheeks burn.

“That’s-that’s not what I meant! It’s because we’re co-stars! Like the leads, that’s why she’s my girl! Not any weird reason.” Eren stammers, the tips of his ears pink and his eyes not meeting yours.

No one believes him.

“Eren.”

“Hm.”

“Hot sauce.”

He leans over in the chair, opening the packet of hot sauce and handing it to you. The crew got breakfast burritos again , meaning you and Eren were slouched up in your chairs eating. The scene that was being filmed was primarily a scene for Jean and Marco, but you and Eren always love to watch everyone else act.

There’s something about the energy on set - Levi directing everyone around, everyone getting in the zone that gets you excited. All jittery and nervous and thrilled that people are going to see this amazing thing that is airing in a few weeks.

You hand Eren the burrito and he instinctively reaches forward, swiping his thumb across your bottom lip. His green eyes focused on your lips and you can feel your heart rising into your throat.

“Eren.”

He looks up, right into your eyes.

“What are you doing?”

“Oh, my bad. You had some sauce on your lip.”

And then he takes the excess sauce and licks it off his finger.

“Did you just-”

“Y/N, be quiet. They’re starting.”

You try your best to focus on the scene but all you can think about is yours and Eren’s knees bumping against each other, your fingers brushing across as you share the food, and Eren licking the sauce off of his finger. You try to brush it off as you lean over and whisper into his space.

“What scene is this, Eren?”

“Don’t remember. I was so busy trying to check my own lines I forgot to read ahead.”

You nod as Eren scoots closer, the two of you leaning forward as you start paying attention to the scene. Jeans walks closer and that’s when you realize it - Marco leaning against the wall, all charred and slumped over.

“Hey. Are you…. Marco?” Jean whispers, his voice shaking.

Eren instinctively reaches for your hand, crushing it in his hold. You look over to find Sasha and Bertholdt giving you the same confused looks as you all keep watching, Jean acting on. It seems like no one read the scene before watching it.

Jean’s a good actor. Such a good actor that you think he’s actually crying, that his voice is actually wavering. And that’s when you realize it.

Marco just died.

Your mind is running at a million miles per hour. Does that mean he’s leaving? He’s not going to be in the show anymore? You guys were all supposed to spend four or five years together filming together, but how is that fair if he’s already dead? That isn’t even an entire season-

Eren’s squeezing your hand into oblivion as the tears are falling out of his eyes, his face looking all types of broken as you glance over.

“Member of the 104th Cadet Corps and Captain of Squad 19… Marco Bodt.”

The director calls cut and the crew starts moving around, Jean helping Marco up from the ground as he brushes the tears out of his eyes. And when you catch sight of Erwin, you’re blazing fire angry. And it seems like you’re not the only one, because Ymir and Mikasa are following your suit.

“Erwin. What the hell?” you say.

Erwin and Levi look down at the three of you, confused.

“You can’t just kill Marco! That’s not fair, the show hasn’t even started yet and you already killed him off.” Reiner says, crossing his arms.

“Erwin. Cut it out of the show. You can’t do this.” Mikasa responds, glaring at him.

Levi pinches the bridge of his nose as he bends down, Erwin joining him so you’re all level heights. For some reason, angry tears are building in your eyes and your chest is burning, because…you miss Marco. And he’s not even gone yet. And it’s not fair that he died so soon and his character is all but sweet, so why does he have to die and-

Levi places his hands on yours and Reiner’s shoulders as he talks, his voice soft.

“Are you guys upset that he’s going to be leaving?”

You all nod, the tears finally flowing out of your eyes and streaming down. You can see that Reiner’s crying too, Mikasa swallowing her own tears.

“Yeah. Erwin, Levi he’s our friend. And I’ve never really had friends like this and I don’t want him to go away and-” you choke out, stammering on your words.

Levi squeezes your shoulder as you hiccup and Erwin leans forward to press all three of you in a hug. Levi’s hands are in your hair, whispering something under his breath about how you’re all sweet kids.

They both let you go and you look over to find Marco, still in his death makeup, hugging Eren, who has tears streaming down his eyes too. And when you walk over, Marco opens up his other arm, you and Eren and Jean and almost everyone crushing him into a hug, the discomfort sitting in your chest.

As you all trail back to the townhouse after set, quiet for once, you’re all milling around the main room, aimlessly. You and Armin are playing a very underwhelming game of Uno, Reiner and Marco half-assedly playing Mario Kart, and Mikasa’s teaching Ymir how to braid her hair.

Hange walks in and plops down between you and Armin, the polaroid camera in her hand.

“Hey, you guys.”

“Hi Hange.” you both mutter, flipping the cards down.

“Got an idea. You know, this shows kind of… dramatic . A lot more of the characters are going to die, but it doesn’t have to be a sad thing.”

“It is sad. That means Marco’s leaving and we won’t see him anymore.” you say, boring your eyes into Hange’s.

They lean forward to pinch your cheek, softly laughing as they continue talking.

“You’re so sweet. He’ll be back to film other scenes, yeah? And you’ll definitely see him again.”

You both nod, agreeing with Hange. They hand the camera to Armin, whispering the plan in his ears and then duck out of the hallway. And when you and Armin have everything you need - the industrial box of Rocky Road ice cream and the camera - you head to the center of the room, Armin standing on the couch to get everyone’s attention.

“When you fall off, I’m going to fucking laugh at you, Arlert.” says Ymir, looking up from braiding Sasha’s hair.

“Shut up, Ymir. Listen, we should make a deal. Every time a character dies, we all eat ice cream. Play games, stay up late, and then at the end of the night we’ll add their picture to the wall. So we don’t forget them . Like, one last hurrah or whatever. ” Armin says.

“You sound like Hange.” Annie mutters, flicking Reiner in the forehead.

“It was their idea. But we should. If Marco’s leaving in a few days, I want to spend all the time I can with him, having fun and-”

“Yeah. I want to.” says Marco, which has almost all of you agreeing.

You and Armin start by opening the tub of ice cream, all eleven of you refusing to get bowls and instead leaning over, bumping heads as you eat.

“Eren. Move your big head.”

“Shut the fuck up Connie. Your bald head is bigger than mine.”

You all start snickering as the two of them argue, smacking each other and rolling off the couch. And when Marco suggests that you play truth or dare, you all start nervously giggling as you go around the circle, all jittery from the sugar in the ice cream.

Reiner asks Connie to share the last dream that he had, which he begrudgingly shares is that he kissed Ymir. Ymir is thoroughly disgusted. Historia gets dared to call Erwin dad by accident, which just leads to Erwin giving Historia a lecture about how he appreciates that she can see him as a father figure and that he is already very proud of all of the work Historia has put in.

Bertholdt has to eat a spoonful of mayo, which he consequently throws up and Armin gets dared to steal something from the set. He takes Levi’s coffee cup and hides it in the storage room, which he is sure to get an earful for later.

“Eren. Truth or Dare?” Connie asks.

“Dare.”

“Kiss your favorite person in the room on the cheek.”

They all start giggling as they stare you down, your cheeks burning at the thought of Eren pressing his lips to yours. Connie and Bertholdt are making kissy faces at you, Ymir and Annie leaning over to pinch your cheeks.

And you brace yourself, for when Eren’s going to press his lips into your skin. Except he doesn’t. He leans over and kisses Armin on the cheek and you try your best to hide your…disappointment? Sadness? But that’s on you.

Why would you assume you’re Eren’s favorite person on set?

Everyone boos at Eren for picking a copout answer and you pretend not to be offended as you keep playing the game. And on hour two of playing, Levi comes and yells at you all to shut the fuck up and go to bed , which leads to Armin taking the picture of Marco - all cheesing and smiley and tacking it to the wall. Connie takes a sharpie and labels the wall “fly high angel” to mark the occasion.

Except his dumbass writes angle instead of angel.

You all shuffle back to your rooms, giggling and laughing, and you and Eren giving each other a smile as you switch into your respective rooms.

You hear a knock on your door and instantly jump up, ready to duck out of set to go get slushies with Eren. Except when you swing the door open, Jean’s standing at your store instead of Eren.

“Oh. Hi Jean.”

“Hi…is-”

“She’s in the shower. You’re welcome to wait for her here if you’d like?”

You swing the door open and he flops onto Mikasa’s bed, watching your fan spin around on the ceiling.

You’re not sure what it is or why Jean and Mikasa are assuaged from the barrage of teasing and cooing that you and Eren get whenever you’re around each other, because you’re almost a thousand percent sure that the two of them are worse than you and Eren.

Because they actually like each other. You’ve often come home from filming or playing games with Bertholdt and Historia to find the two of them sitting on the floor, holding hands while watching a movie. Or Jean giving Mikasa bracelets or telling her that he thinks she’s really pretty.

Maybe they’re not paying attention and that the only person who knows is you. Or maybe it’s because they don’t turn red or deny their feelings, because they actually like each other. You and Eren aren’t like that, because in earnest, you two really are just friends.

“You okay? Your room must be pretty empty.”

Marco moved out earlier today. Not a single dry eye in the room.

“Yeah, that’s kinda why I came. Sometimes it just feels kind of lonely, but I think Levi and Erwin might move someone in with me or put me with Connie or something.”

“That’s nice. It’ll be fun to have a roommate.”

He nods, cracking his fingers as the shower runs behind the two of you.

“Hey Jean.”

“Hm.”

“Do you mind if I ask you a question?”

“Shoot.”

You sit up, hopping off your desk chair and onto the bed where Jean was sitting. He’s leaned back against Mikasa’s perfectly propped pillows, lazily swinging the charm of his necklace back and forth on the chain.

“How do you know you like Mikasa?”

He looks up from his chain, giving you an inquisitive look, before answering.

“Dunno. I like being around her. Like, whenever I’m in a room, the person I want to be next to is her. Or the first person I tell good news to and I want her to know like…random things about me. My moms name, my first pet, how I hate my first grade teacher. I just like to share things with her. Like how it feels when I'm with her you know - like...like that's Mikasa. She's my girlfriend."

“Oh. Okay, that makes sense.”

He nods, plopping back down on her pillows and twisting the chain in his hands again.

You halfheartedly nod as Mikasa rolls out of the bathroom, giving you two smiles as she takes the seat next to Jean. You give the two of them a smile as you pad out of the room and straight into Eren and Armin’s across.

“Hi. Mind if I sit? Jean and Mika are-”

“Sure.” Eren says, scooting over on his bed and patting on the sheets.

“Where’s Min?”

“Ah. With Erwin. I think he’s taking the Marco thing kind of hard.”

You nod, shuffling on the bed as Eren shuts his laptop, leaning back onto the headboard.

“Are you okay, Eren? With him being gone?”

“Feels weird. It kind of just makes me nervous for who else will leave us, you know?”

Us.

“Yeah.”

Eren tangles his hand with yours at your side, taking turns cracking each of the knuckles on your fingers.

“Do you ever wonder why they tease us so much? For being friends?”

He angles his head over, the wisps of his brown hair tickling on your forehead.

“Like. Mikasa and Jean really like each other. They’re always holding hands in my room and-”

“What? They like each other?”

“I think so. I don’t know, they’ve never really hid it from me.”

“Well, you’re sweet. You’d never make fun of them for that. I had no idea that they liked each other. They’re probably just not outward with it in front of everyone else.”

“And we aren’t outward with anything. I don’t know, we just act normal and they’re always like saying this stuff about how you and I-”

“Y/N.”

You stop talking as he squeezes your hand three times, almost like a little knock signaling you to stop talking.

“I think they just… don’t get us. You and I are special. I just feel like I’ve known you forever and that we really fit together and I think they can sense that or something. And they think it’s romantic even if it’s not, you know?”

“Yeah.”

He squeezes your hand three more times, the words knocking through your head. Special. Fit together. Not romantic. He leans over, green eyes staring into yours.

“You and me. Always?”

You nod, swallowing hard as you lean back.

“Plus. They can’t kill us off. We’re the main characters.”

You shuffle in your seat as the director yells action, as you look down at Eren, tied up against the post in the middle of the set. You’re filming the scene where Levi is supposed to just kick Eren’s ass in the middle of the court, to prove to the other characters that they can control him and his titan powers.

Except you’re on your fifth take of this scene, Eren getting increasingly frustrated because Levi’s been yelling at him all morning, claiming that he isn’t acting good enough for the scene. Levi’s a bit of a perfectionist, meaning he won’t let anyone leave until the scene is perfect the way he wants it.

Eren especially. You could always tell that Levi was always more fond of Eren than everyone else, but you never thought that would mean Levi would be extra harsh on him. Which is clearly just pissing Eren off today.

“Maybe we should dissect her just in case!”

“Wait. Maybe I am a monster, but she has nothing to do with that! Nothing at all!” Eren screams, his voice straining and his eyes pinching shut as he wrestles against the handcuffs.

“As if we could believe you!”

“It’s a fact!”

“You’re defending her? She must be one of you!”

“No!”

Levi stomps into the middle of the set, leaning down and getting level with Eren. And then he starts yelling at him.

“Eren. You can do so much better than that. You have to give it your all or this isn’t going to work.”

“I am giving it my all. You’ve had me working for five hours now and I-”

“So? You have to get used to that type of time commitment if you want to be the best like you said you did and-”

Eren and Levi keep going back and forth, Hange signaling at you from the back of the set as you both arise from your chairs, leaning down to meet them.

“Levi. Go easy on him, we’ve been-” Hange starts,

“No. He can do better than this and I know he can. He just doesn’t want to. If he would just put in a little effort, it would be better.”

“Levi, maybe you’re being too harsh on him-” you start.

Levi rolls his eyes as he stands up, calling for a break as you unhook Eren from the post. The second you unlock him, he storms off straight off of the set.

“Hange.”

“Yeah?”

“Can you take a longer break from us? I’ll talk to him.”

“I’ll talk to Levi. He just…he knows Eren can be really good. That he has potential. He’s just trying to get him there faster because he wants Eren to do well.”

“I know, Hange.”

You shoot them a smile as you run into the storage closet, yanking out the tandem bike and heading to find Eren.

You kick the rocks in front of you as you hand Eren the slushie, anxiously looking over at him. He’s still radiating anger, from the way his shoulders are tense and how his knuckles are nearly white against the cup. The two of you biked in silence and even the cashier could tell Eren was having some type of fit today.

“Eren.”

“Yeah?”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

He sighs as he leans into your touch, resting his head against your shoulder.

“I just-I’m trying really hard to get it. And Levi’s always just so hard on me, I can’t even tell if I’m doing a good job or if I can do this or-”

You reach down, crushing his hand in your hold, as you respond.

“Eren. You’re doing a really great job. Even Levi thinks that. He just… he knows you’re great and he’s trying to tap into that.”

“I know, it just makes me wonder sometimes if I’m cut out for this. Or that Best Actor savant that I-”

“Eren. You’re going to get it. I know that for a fact. It might not be this season or the next, but you will get it. You’re- you’re literally amazing, I just know you’ll be one of the best of our generation and-”

“You’re just saying that because-”

“I’m not! I really do think that, I- I’d even bet on it for you. You’re the best person for this role and you’re perfect for it and in general too and I just think you should be more confid-”

“Y/N, I-”

“Like really, I think you have the chops to be great. I can’t even believe I have to be your costar because I am infinitely mediocre next to you when you’re just so amazing and already have so many credits and-”

You’re cut off by Eren’s lips on your cheek, pressing a soft kiss to your skin. You reach up to the skin as you look over at him, positively bug eyed.

“You-why would y-”

“The other day. You are my favorite person on set. I just didn’t want them to make fun of us for it.”

“Oh. Right, I-”

“Finish the slushie. We’ll go back after.”

When you return, Eren finishes the scene in one take. And gets Levi’s golden stamp of approval.

When you and Eren film the last scene of the season, on your last day of shooting for a few months, you can’t help but feel a despair in your chest. Everyone else was already long gone, having given your wistful goodbyes and promises of keeping in touch until you come back to (hopefully) film the second season.

Which leaves you, Eren, Erwin, Levi, Hange, and the crew to film the last scene. The backstory of how you and Eren came to be, where he wraps the scarf around your neck.

While you love having everyone else around, it was nice to have a few days of just you and Eren, where you can soak in his company before you have to be apart for a few days. You make ramen together in the mornings, he teaches you how to play video games, and you talk about almost anything and everything in those three days.

And when you go to film the scene, the despair of being apart from him…from your best friend really settles in. You’re sure it makes the scene all the more better.

“It’s cold…. I don’t have anywhere to go home to.” you say.

Eren walks over, his voice uncharacteristically soft, so gentle when he wraps the scarf around your neck that it makes your cheeks burn.

“You can have this. It’s warm, right?”

Grisha walks forward, placing a hand on Eren’s shoulder as he says his line.

“Y/N. You should come live with us. You’ve been through plenty.”

And when you look at Eren, you can feel your heart beating as he says the next lines. And for some reason, this version of Eren feels less like the character Eren and more like the real Eren.

Your Eren. Tandem bikes, slushies, squeezing hands three times Eren.

He reaches forward, squeezing your hand three times like he was reading your fucking mind, as he says the next line. While he acts dismissive, you can see the warmth in his eyes, and it feels like something else. Like he’s trying to hint something at you, tell you something you can’t exactly pick up on.

“Come on. Let’s go back already. To our home.”

And when you squeeze Eren’s hand three times back and trail off out of the shot of the camera, you both smile at each other, Eren turning to face you.

“See you in a few months?”

“Yeah.”

“Call me every day?”

You roll your eyes as you reach over to flick his forehead, to which he pinches the sides of your waist. You squirm out of his hold, the feel of his fingers ticklish as you both laugh.

“Yes, Eren. I’ll call you every day.”

“Okay, good. Don’t forget me when you become famous overnight.”

“You’re so full of shit, Eren. That’s not going to happen.”

You’re totally wrong, for what it’s worth. The first episode of Attack on Titan airs on Friday. You and Eren start trending on Saturday.

next part linked here

taglist: @platrom @k0z3me @kayleegomez @yihona-san06 @besenpai @sweetenertea @mykyoon @violetmatcha @rebeccawinters @cutiejg @bokutosthings @bookwrmm @mblrrr @wheredidmycrowngo @somethinginyoureyes7 @chilichopsticks @okaystopwhore @you-always-made-me-blush @itzmeme @firelordazulaaa @whoami-72 @g-ghostly @intimacywithceline @erensmoodygf @cocomellxn @princess-ackerman @jaegerfiles @cacapeepee @squirrelspoetry

pls comment on this post or any of the chapters if you want to be added to the taglist <3

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girltwinklater · 6 months

Text

SAM CARPENTER NSFW ALPHABET

not a soul asked for this but here you go gay people (me)

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

makes sure you’re comfy before leaving and will MAKE you drink fluids. and if you’re staying over at hers she will not let you leave. cuddling before after and in between is like part of the deal.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

arms arms armsss sam loves her arms. so proud of them. but she’s always been super into hands. likes holding them, playing with them, sucking on your fingers. everything to do with hands.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

it’s like nectar to her. likes to makes sure you’re taken care of first. and then again and again and again. will suck you dry if you let her.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

loves hickies. pretends she doesn’t but loves when you mark her neck and thighs.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

moderately. but she’s learned your body and your sweet spots so she knows every way to get you off

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

doesn’t really prefer one over another, but likes seeing your face. seeing how well she’s doing.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

bro is goofy as hell 😭 sam can’t take anything seriously and it’s funny watching her try.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

she likes to stay trimmed. refuses to get rid of her happy trail.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

super gentle and sweet when she’s not being silly. loves being close to you and making you feel good

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

in the shower >>>> everything. and lovess handies.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

mommy kink but you didn’t hear that from me

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

your place since you live alone. but the risk of getting caught excites her a little.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

grinding and dry humping. over the clothes stuff. LOVES it.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

can’t handle restraints. or knives. the one place she won’t go.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

prefers receiving, but gives expert level head it’s INSANE

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

likes to go slow when she’s topping. making sure you’re okay and enjoying yourself. but will ride you like there’s no tomorrow.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

she’s okay with them. sam prefers taking her time, though.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

she’s iffy about it, but since it’s you it doesn’t take much to convince her.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

sam’s stamina is high as the heavens. can easily go three rounds without breaks. you’re genuinely baffled at how she never seems to get tired.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

she has a few. you like to use them on her sometimes.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

she’s less of the teaser and more the tease-ee. you love watching her get restless.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

relatively quiet. small gasps and whines in your ear. the occasional plea when you’re being a tease.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

she loves talking to you in spanish. pet names and praises.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

all i’m gonna say is homegirl is PACKING

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

not too high. the hormones definitely lowered it, but is down for it anytime.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

she has trouble sleeping. will hold you for hours listening to your breathing until she finally does doze off.

and yes i stole this from @finalgirlmeeks mind your business

#sam carpenter x reader #sam carpenter #scream franchise #scream #scream vi

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phasmophobia-territory · 1 year

Text

Yandere House of Lamentation, but MC Is Into It

Part Ⅰ: L U C I F E R

Themes + TW + CW: Poly MC, Gender Neutral MC (Except for the future NSFW parts where it'll be an AFAB MC), Yandere, Possessiveness.

“Lord Diavolo, I understand it is no secret I am fond of MC.”

Lucifer's voice was barely above a whisper, but you were still within earshot. You pretended you weren’t listening, eyes lowered, as your finger as it traced patterns in the desk. The other brothers could hear too. Some tried to be nonchalant like yourself, but certain ones couldn’t help but look, tentative.

Diavolo chuckled.

“It really isn’t, I’m afraid. You and your brothers adore them very much!”

“Hm… Nothing ever seems to get past you. Therefore, allow me to be clear, MC has decided that they want to be with me. Officially, that-”

“Hey, you jerk! MC didn’t say that! They’re datin’ all of us and you know it!”

Even though Diavolo’s face betrayed wide-eyed shock (and sadness) that day, he gave his blessing to the relationship.

Not that his disapproval would’ve stopped the brothers . They had been “dating” you months before that announcement. Lucifer only told Diavolo when he was certain that the demon prince wouldn’t object.

It started when you came back to the House of Lamentation with Solomon one day. You had pecked the sorcerer on the cheek as a goodbye. You didn’t realize it was a mistake to do so in front of the brothers, hoping that they would be jealous. And let’s say you got more than you bargained for.

It was the last straw. They were tired of you “running around” with others for “way too long”. So they did what they needed to do and stepped up to claim what was theirs before any bothersome angels, demon prince, demon butler, demon noble, sorcerer or reaper could. You're their human. Their master. The rest were practically side characters!

So after a lot of fighting, the brothers came to an agreement. You were going to be official with them. All of them. Whether you liked it, or not.

But (much to their delight) you were kind of living for it. “It” being their darker and more possessive ideas of love.

❦Lucifer❦

♡Lucifer is aware that by human standards, forcing you into a relationship with him was completely demented. But he also knew that you didn’t care, so he really didn’t do anything wrong, did he? Sure, he questions your sanity as a human being, but it benefits him, so whatever.

♡What is that, you ask me? Don’t I mean “forcing you into a relationship with him and his brothers was completely demented?”

♡Oh no, Lucifer is simply being graceful. Can’t you remember that you belong to him? When you made a pact with Lucifer, did you think he was being funny when he said that you were his?

♡In his eyes, you may be free to run around with his brothers, but in the end, he still owns you in every sense. If it were up to him, only he would have you.

♡But alas, his brothers are just as crazy about you as he is, and he will not deal with the headache that would come from their whining about him keeping you to himself.

♡And what if they all decide to turn against him? Not that he believes they hold a candle to his power, but he rather not tear apart the three worlds with a brother’s conflict. Diavolo would never approve of that. And knowing the future King, he might go as far as to have you for himself, and Lucifer is absolutely not a fan of that.

♡Coming back to the fact that you belong to him, Lucifer is possessive.

♡If you had rejected the arrangement, Lucifer wouldn’t be above any act to make you his. Persuasion, lies, brainwashing, magic. Nothing was off the table. Good for you that you’re already willing to go through with it. For that reason, Lucifer would not keep you locked away in the House of Lamentation.

♡He wouldn't hesitate to remove bothersome pests that would push their luck with you, but they know better than to mess around with Lucifer’s possession partner. They’re all too scared to cross him and his brothers.

♡But if said pest is foolish enough to still pursue you, it’s going to be a horrible day for them. Lucifer doesn’t even have to torture or kill them himself. He just needs to give a hint about it within earshot of one of his more active brothers, sit back, and take pride in what he caused.

♡Lucifer isn't the type to stalk you, either. But he would like to know where you're going and what you're doing if you ever leave.

♡Where did you go with Simeon that time after class? “You know better than to be fooling around with him. You're mine, Mc.” What did Solomon call you for? When will you be back from the Demon Lord's Castle? He's almost like an overbearing parent and that can get on your nerves whenever he overdoes it.

♡But damn it, every time you laugh and tell him your plans anyway.

♡Would he try to make you more dependent on him? Not really? Technically, you’re already dependent on him and his brothers to keep you safe here in the Devildom, even if you're decent in magic.

♡Lucifer will let you have your freedom as long as you're faithful to him and his brothers. If you aren't though, be ready to part with it.

♡Despite Lucifer’s “you belong to me, not my brothers why would I be jealous?” schtick, he’s easily jealous and it’s never obvious. Whenever you deny him, you're slightly hesitant, because there's always a punishment in store for you later.

♡It’s nothing too sadistic, I promise. Lucifer loves and cherishes you, after all. Despite his ugly, possessive nature writhing underneath.

⛤NSFW Part to be posted later⛤ NSFW Part HERE. Minors DNI.

♡well, here's part 1 of this series! Mammon's Part is up next!♡

♡and sorry if this sucks. I haven't written in months... (ノへ￣、)♡

♡but now for the promos, haha. if you want to see more content like this check out the Writing and Yandere Masterlist. and to know more about the blog check out About the Blog!♡

♡also consider reblogging and commenting if you enjoyed what you read! it does a lot for me motivation-wise, because it tells me that people actually want to read what I put out. comments with constructive criticism are welcome too!♡

♡tag list: @acaribeau♡

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whoistartaglia · 10 months

Text

sweet talk

based on sweet talk by saint motel.

alhaitham x gn! reader

alhaitham is not one to pull his punches, not even with you.

presently, you lounge in alhaitham’s office, seated incorrectly, with your legs over the arms of the chair and back against the other side, in front of alhaitham’s desk. the scholar watches as you flip nonsensically through a scriba, your eyes barely skimming the page, before you toss it on the desk. it lands in the middle of a hurricane of documents and open books, and nearly topples over an inkwell.

“can i assume this book too has lost your interest?” alhaitham says, picking it up himself. he fights the urge to roll his eyes. a romance novel, of course. when you first came marching in his office, ignoring the plaque on his door of “leave me alone” (though in much more “professional” language), you claimed the novel was a dissertation, and that you needed a nice, quiet place to work. the library, you claimed, was too packed with students studying for finals and working on their own reseatch papers. alhaitham allowed you to begrudgingly take residence in his office. yet flipping through the novel know, alhaitham realizes he should have known better.

“naturally,” you reply, hopping off the chair. “i’m so bored and there’s nothing to do.”

“what about your research?”

you make a face like you bit into a lemon.

“i would rather read that entire book to you upside-down and backwards.”

now it’s alhaitham’s turn to make a face. his is bitter like he downed a black coffee, no sugar, no milk, except that you know better; alhaitham probably has those on the daily and enjoys them.

alhaitham pretends to think, then snaps his fingers when the idea comes to him.

“you could always leave,” he says, quite pleased with himself.

you roll your eyes. “ha-ha. very funny.”

“i wasn’t joking,” alhaitham replies, tossing your novel to the corner of his desk. “you are always welcome to go, [name]. right now especially. i’ll even walk you to the door.”

this has the opposite of alhaitham’s intended effect. what he wanted was your sour expression to deepen, lips puckering and brows furrowing, not the absolutely sweet and beaming smile that has replaced it.

“what a lovely idea!” you say, clasping your hands together. “unfortunately, i will have to decline your generous offer for a walk today. i feel i’m just too tired.” you make a point of sitting back down, on his desk this time, and dangling your feet off the edge. you look over you shoulder to grin at him, and it doesn’t even falter at alhaitham’s visible confusion.

this isn’t the first time his harsh words haven’t the slightest negative effect on you. the scribe, for all his intelligence and determination, can’t figure out why. if he said those same words to anyone else, they would have run out of his office with their tail between their legs. but not you.

short of telling you to piss off and go away, alhaitham does not know what could actually deter you—and even then, he feels him saying that would only further encourage you. between this and his research, alhaitham can’t tell which is the harder nut to crack, though he’s leaning towards the former.

“i’m going to take a break,” alhaitham announces, standing up and heading towards the door. the latter is at a standstill, and he’d rather return to it later than brute-forcing his way through it now.

“great idea,” you say, hopping off the desk. “where are we going? on a walk?”

“well, i am,” alhaitham says, “but didn’t you say your legs were hurting?”

“oh!” you pause and think very quickly. “they’re all better now—unless you want to carry me. then i have no objections.” this earns you an amused snort, but you figure that if alhaitham really doesn’t want you to come, he wouldn’t be opening the door in front of you like he is now.

“is there anything i can say to deter you?” he wonders aloud.

you think for a second, walking out of the office. alhaitham keeps pace next to you as you travel down the halls.

“i’m not sure. you could always send the matra after me. but even if you told me to drop dead, i wouldn’t care.”

“i didn’t realize i was such a sweet talker,” alhaitham mutters, more to himself than to you. you simply smile up at him, and when you ask him to repeat himself because you didn’t hear, alhaitham just smiles and shakes his head.

alhaitham isn’t one to pull his punches, and he likes to think it’s the same with you. but you smile so sweetly that the sourness and bitterness from earlier fades, and alhaitham finds himself wondering if there was ever a punch to be pulled in the first place.

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mimiii-3 · 11 months

Note

Hello! I hope your exams went well 😊

Could I please request Ace, Deuce, Leona and Riddle reacting to you not giving them a goodbye kiss before bed.

Like they’re dropping you off at Ramshackle and is waiting for you to kiss them goodbye before they head back to their dorm but the reader is just like “thanks bby see you tomorrow 😊” and makes a move to leave?

- Rose Anon

Hi Rose Anon! My exams did go well - thanks for asking! Ahhh this idea is so cute

Twst boys react to reader not giving them a goodnight kiss

Note/warning: gn reader, funny, fluff, kissing, mentions of arson, malleus makes a guest appearance, reader has on lipstick for Deuce’s hcs

Extra note: I’m adding Epel to the request

. . .

- At ramshackle dorm -

*Prefect decides to tease their boyfriend by not giving them a goodnight kiss on purpose*

You: Thanks for dropping me off! I’ll see you tomorrow, baby!

. . .

Riddle

• immediately grows red

• pouty baby mode: activated

• in his shock, you had already entered ramshackle and closed the door

• Riddle rapidly knocks on the door until he can hear you unlocking it from the other side

• when you open the door you find him standing there with his fists balled up at his sides

• ‘did you forget something?’

• you pretend to have no clue what he’s talking about and shake your head

• Riddle sighs before leaning forward and delicately pressing his lips to the corner of yours

• he turns to leave, thinking you’re mad at him and that’s why you didn’t initiate the goodnight kiss

• you grab Riddle by his uniform’s collar and pull him back to you

• before he can ask you what’s wrong, you kiss him so passionately it knocks the air out of his lungs

• Riddle stands there with a dumbstruck look on his face before clearing his throat and readjusting his tie

“I would very much like for that to be the new goodnight kiss. So long as no one is watching us.”

Leona

• ‘not on my watch’

• he quickly sticks his foot in the door before you can close it all the way

• you gasp in shock and quickly swing open the door

• before you can scold him for putting himself in harms way, Leona leads you through the doorway

• he maintains eye contact with you as he kicks the door shut

• you can’t help but step backwards as your boyfriend saunters over to you

• your back hits up against the wall and you freeze

• Leona places his forearm on the wall, right above your head

• he leans in close and stares at you with his signature look that’s a mix of predator and prince

• you nervously gulp and lean forward to give him a kiss

• he jerks his head back, dodging your lips

• catching onto his game, you whine impatiently

• he clicks his teeth and a smug smirk makes it’s way onto his unbearably handsome face

“Aw does my poor, little herbivore want a kiss? Give me one good reason why I should indulge you.”

Ace

• throws a fit right after you close the door

• ‘fine! Two can play this game!’

• Ace huffs and then turns away, stomping down the porch steps

• you feel bad for your fussy boyfriend and open the door to call out to him

• he ignores you and continues to walk away

• your roll your eyes and speed-walk after him

• you finally catch up to him and grab his shoulder to turn him around

• you explain that it was a joke but it’s too late

• Ace starts his speech about how he loves you more and you think he’s a loser

• Ace = #1 gaslighter in nrc

• you completely tune him out as you watch the way his lips move with every word

• his rambling is cut off by you pressing your lips to his

“I forgive you but if you ever ‘forget’ my goodnight kiss again, I will burn ramshackle to the ground.”

Epel

• Epel does not play

• if it weren’t for Vil’s hour-long lecture earlier, he might’ve humored you

• but right now he’s tired and needs his goodnight kiss

• you don’t even get a chance to turn around before Epel reaches out and grabs you by the hips

• he moves closer to you and wraps his arms around you

• Epel licks his lips and then tilts his head

• you stand there in shock, not used to this initiative-driven Epel

• your lips connect with his and it’s like everything around you just disappears

• you’re not sure how long the two of you were standing there before you hear someone clear their throat

• you part from Epel to find Malleus standing near the gate, awkwardly staring at his feet

• you suddenly remember that you were supposed to take a walk with him

• Epel rubs his thumb over your bottom lip and then turns to leave

“Night hun’. Sorry Malleus, they’re all yours now.”

Deuce

• screams ‘wait’ so dramatically he sounds like a melancholy sailor’s wife calling out to her husband at the port

• you try to stifle your laugh as you watch him nervously shift his weight

• you lean forward and kiss the tip of his nose

• Deuce flushes and mutters a small ‘more’

• you cup his cheeks and start to leave sloppy, wet kisses all over his face

• his laugh is contagious and you can’t help but snicker in between kisses

• you pull back to admire your handiwork

• there are crimson kiss marks all over his pale face

• he looks like a lovestruck idiot as he sways a bit

• you leave one last kiss on his forehead before asking him if that’s enough

• Deuce shakes his head and points to his lips

• you relent and finally peck him on the lips

• a satisfied Deuce wraps you in his arms and rocks the two of you back and forth

“I know I was supposed to be dropping you off to study, but can I come in and cuddle you instead?

. . .

Note: this was super fun to write. I love them all so much

#twisted wonderland #headcanon #twst headcanons #fanfic #fanfiction #leona kingscholar #twst leona #twst ace #ace trappola #twst riddle #riddle rosehearts #twst deuce #deuce spade #twst epel #epel felmier

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literaryavenger · 5 months

Text

Meet the Guardians of the Galaxy - part 2

Summary: The Avengers of the Galaxy continue to bond.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Female Reader

Warnings: No use of Y/N. Language. A lot of fluff. My poor attempts at being funny. Mentions of sex.

Word Count: 1.4K

A/N: I was trying something and this came out. I hope you like it, lol.

Meet The Guardians Of The Galaxy

Masterlist

It’s been a couple of days since the Guardians of the Galaxy landed on the Avengers compound’s lawn, Thor was still nowhere to be seen but you all seemed to be getting along just fine, going as far as having girls and boys night last night.

The guys showed Drax, Quill and Rocket how they like to spend a night of testosterone fueled competition while playing video games in the common room, eating junk food and drinking.

While you and the girls showed Gamora, Nebula and Mantis how you like to relax having a night of spa treatments, drinking wine and eating anything you wanted, gossiping and essentially making fun of the boys’ attitudes the guys had.

Groot started the night with the guys but apparently they started getting too rough and loud for his liking so he came to your room where all the girls were and enjoyed the rest of the night watching sappy movies and getting beauty treatments with you.

You couldn’t resist taking a picture when he wrapped himself with a napkin, rubbing some of the mud mask all over his face sloppily to look like you guys all wearing robes, making you all laugh and coo at how adorable he looked.

Everybody had a late night, barely getting any sleep, but having a lot of fun.

Now you’re all in the common room nursing various degrees of hangovers that even Bucky and Steve couldn’t escape after Tony pulled out Thor’s stash of Asgardian mead.

"All I’m saying is, aliens don’t seem to have too much regard for lawn maintenance." Tony says, making you all groan.

You were all tired of hearing him bitch about the lawn and you were definitely much too sleep deprived for it at the moment.

"Tony, I love you, but I really need you to shut the fuck up." Steve mumbles, not being used to hangovers, making us all gasp in surprise.

"Language, Rogers!" you say and he groans, throwing his head back while the rest of you laugh.

"Are you ever gonna drop that, Mrs Barnes?" you roll your eyes athim.

You and Bucky are nowhere near marriage but the blonde super soldier always has the time of his life teasing you about it.

"Aww, are you mad that I stole your boyfriend?" you fake pout at him.

"You know, Bucky and I were very happy before you came along." He fake glares at you, the rest of the team enjoying the banter they were used to at this point.

"I missed the part where that’s my problem, Captain Dumbass." You say smirking, but before Steve cam answer Quill cut in.

"Wow, she’s kind of awful when she’s hungover." you glare at him while everyone else laughs.

"She’s kind of awful when she’s not hungover, she’s just pretending for your benefit." Steve comments.

"You know what, Rogers?" Clint interrupts you before you can threaten Steve.

"Oh c’mon you know he’s right. Bucky for sure rubbed some of his grumpiness on you." you know they’re right so what’s the point in trying to deny.

You shrug ready to change the subject when Natasha chooses to contribute to the conversation.

"He definitely rubbed something on her." you almost choke on air.

"Natasha!" you hiss, struggling to keep your own face straight while all the girls start giggling.

"What? I didn’t say anything…" she says innocently and you can’t keep the laughter in anymore so you join them.

The guys all look at you like you’re crazy except for Tony, the genius playboy is definitely not as innocent as the rest of them.

"I don’t understand what’s going on." Peter says and the other guys nod in agreement.

You don’t exactly know how to explain it, not really wanting to discuss anything close to your sex life with Bucky with the whole group, so you look to the girls for help.

"It appears that terran women have rituals of honesty during their 'girls night's" Gamora offers, but it only leaves the guys even more confused, so Wanda takes it upon herself to say a simpler explanation "Girls talk about everything. Everything."

Slowly all the guys come to understand what she means, various degrees of embarrassment on their faces, while you and the girls laugh at their reactions.

"Wait, everything everything?" Tony questions, looking directly at Pepper.

"Every. Single. Thing." she says, maintaining eye contact, and the rest of you can't stop snickering at the guys’ dumbfounded faces.

While the guys continue their questioning to the other girls, Bucky leans in to whisper in your ear.

"So you’ve been telling the girls about our sex life, doll? I might have to punish you for that..." he can tell you’re trying hard to keep a straight face as you refuse to turn around to face him so he keeps teasing you.

"and you’ll take it like a good girl, won’t you?" your eyes widen a bit before your expression goes back to neutral, but you're betrayed by the intense red your cheeks are turning, which does not go unnoticed.

"What’s wrong with you, why is your face all red?" Rocket almost yells, bringing the whole room’s attention on you, making you blush even more and giggle when Groot climbs on your shoulder to examine your cheek more closely.

"It’s nothing." you try to sound casual.

"And what’s wrong with you?" Rocket says and you hear Steve groaning before he answers.

He carefully chooses his words and addresses you and Bucky directly "Just so you know, I can hear Bucky whispering…"

your eyes snap up to him and you can see his face is turning red too, ever the innocent one and never ready to hear his best friend's dirty talk.

You look at Bucky who looks more amused at the situation than embarrassed and you let out a groan of your own before gettin up, Groot still on your shoulder.

"Where are you going, baby?" Bucky asks, stopping the others’ questioning of Steve about what he heard, all of them confused and amused, their attention back on you.

"I need more coffee. And a bath in holy water." you add looking at the girls, all of them knowing how dirty Bucky’s mouth can get, then you make your way to the kitchen.

"I’ll go make sure she’s alright." Bucky gets up and follows you, leaving the guys to try and make the girls let them in on the joke.

You put Groot down on the counter while starting the coffee machine and, while you wait, he makes you laugh by running around trying to catch a fly while making the most adorable little screams of battle.

You feel two arms wrap around your waist and Bucky’s head on your shoulder.

"You know Steve’s gonna think we’re fucking in the kitchen, right?" you say without looking away from Groot, making Bucky laugh.

"I just wanted to check on you." he says, giving you a kiss on the cheek. You turn around in his arms and wrap your arms around his neck.

"I’m okay." you kiss him on the lips "Steve may be traumatized now, though." this time you laugh with him.

"Do you really tell the girls everything?" he asks when your laughter dies down.

"I do, they’re my best friends. Also the world should know you fuck me hard and good." he smirks and is about to kiss you again when you hear someone clear their throat from the door.

You both turn towards the sound and see Steve standing there, face getting redder than Tony’s suit.

"Oh, you gotta be kidding me." you groan once more, hiding your face in Bucky’s chest while he smirks at Steve.

"I just wanted some water, but I’ll come back later..." Steve says and starts to turn away, but turns back around and says "Bravo, Buc-"

"No! out!" you cut in before he can finish while pointing at him then the door and he goes through it laughing.

You look back up at Bucky and the cheeky idiot is laughing too, you try to glare at him but can’t keep a straight face, especially when a little yell suddenly reminds you that Groot is there with you.

You turn around just in time to see him jump down the counter, his little hands over what you assume are his ears, running back into the living room while screaming his little heart out.

Yep, looks like Steve is not the only innocent baby you and Bucky traumatized today.

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shentheauthor · 10 months

Note

Pretty please, headcanons on how each of the Harbingers would react to overhearing their subordinates gush over attractive they think they are? And when they next see them, the subordinates act like they didn't say shit?

Holy shit I finally got around to this one, I’m so sorry it took so long (I hope it’s ok)

How the harbingers react to their subordinates thinking they’re attractive

Pierro:

Ok first of all, he’s confused

And a little tired of it

He doesn’t know what a “dilf” is, and he doesn’t want to find out

(Someone save him)

When the subordinates pretend nothing happened, he just sighs

He doesn’t have time to deal with this

Is he a little flattered? Yeah, but mostly he’s done w this shit lmao

Capitano:

Another confused guy

Look he knows most ppl would find him attractive

But he would rather everyone focus on anything else

He just leaves it be

He does find it a little funny that his soldiers think he doesn’t know

Y’all ain’t subtle

One day he’ll reference one of the things the soldiers said about him

And they will all lose their MINDS

They can never prove it happened, and nobody will ever believe them

Dottore:

Bestie he KNOWS

He knows he’s attractive ok

And he thinks it’s hilarious

He will listen in on the conversations, and then mention it later

If the lab assistants try to pretend it never happened

He will be like

“Oh then the security cameras won’t show anything”

Shuts y’all right up

He is such a little shit lmao

Columbina:

She also knows she’s hot and pretty

She literally won’t say anything

But the soldiers will be able to tell she knows they’re talking about her

They will never be completely sure

She likes watching them squirm

Call it sadism I suppose

Or just being a little shit

Regardless, you won’t be able to fool her

She KNOWS

Arlecchino:

Oh no guys

Please be careful around her KGJGKG

She doesn’t take kindly to people being “insubordinate”

And this qualifies as that

Gossiping about her instead of doing your job?

Hell no

Pretending you weren’t talking about her is actually the best course of action here

She’ll let you off with a warning

She is a little bit amused, but for the most part

Tread carefully

Pulcinella:

Another confused boye

He knows he’s not super attractive by conventional human standards

(Coward standards /lh)

He doesn’t mind it, he isn’t insecure at all

But he will laugh bc it’s just kinda silly /pos

He’s flattered in the end

Clearly it’s not affecting your job since everyone pretends it never happened

So it’s fine

Don’t try anything tho, he’ll bring out that cane and SMACC

Scaramouche:

RUN

He isn’t above hitting his soldiers

You won’t even get the chance to pretend it didn’t happen, I’m sorry

He’ll punish the soldiers right away as soon as he hears it

He’ll also be smug about it for weeks tho

Brags ab it to the others, who hate him even more bc of it

He finds humans so amusing

They’ll be attracted to the MEANEST person in the world

But hey his ego is stroked

Sandrone:

Mmh please run, for your greater good

She will turn you into dolls

I’m sorry

Whether she’s angry or she likes it

You will die

But ig if you’re lucky you might become her favorite…?

Idk if that’s enough to save you

But it won’t hurt as bad

You will not get a chance to pretend it never happened

I’m so sorry

Signora:

Eye roll™️™️

She doesn’t really care

She does find it funny that y’all try to pretend nothing happened though lmao

You don’t even know she heard, and you’re still trying to hide it

She doesn’t mind it as much as some of the others, thankfully

She’ll just leave you be

Pantalone:

He thinks it’s hilarious

His ego has been successfully inflated

He loves hearing his praises being sung

Can and will listen in on the soldiers gossiping more

It takes a lot of strength for him not to laugh when everyone pretends nothing happened

He won’t let on that he knows

Just let’s y’all do your thing <3

Tartaglia:

This man thinks he is the number one princess of the world

And he is correct

He knows how attractive he is

He embraces it

Another bragger

The other harbingers are SO annoyed

He’s worse than Scara

If y’all pretend nothing happened

He will just go

“Don’t be shy, I believe you were talking about my glowing hair?”

He is INSUFFERABLE

A can of worms has been opened

#Shen’s headcanons #genshin impact #harbinger headcanons #fatui harbingers #Pierro #capitano #Dottore #columbina #arlecchino #pulcinella #Scaramouche #Sandrone #Signora #Pantalone #Tartaglia

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iamafanofcartoons · 2 years

Text

RWBY is a good show, and I’m tired of people pretending its not!

I’m sorry, I’m just so tired of all these random claims that RWBY is “boring anime cliche” or “racist white male writing”, So...let’s go over them in segments

Female characters:

Aren’t walking fanservice shots and aren’t sexualized

Aren’t degraded in their field (combat, tactics, dust usage, etc) to boost up male characters (cause seemingly female characters being too skilled at something is emasculating to incels)

When a woman says no to a man, the man takes no for an answer and doesn’t keep trying. (So dear Hbomberguy, stop claiming that Weiss x Jaune was ever a thing)

Women don’t require a man to “Defend their honor” (This is in response to the dude who harassed me in anonymous about V5 who was upset that Yang punched a creep)

Aren’t woobified or emotionally weakened, instead having reactions to things like normal human beings. (Sorry Shonen anime which loves to make women woobified or emotionally weakened vs men) Being capable of emotions but also doing things effectively.

Aren’t made into waifu for male characters. Nora is still a badass and even being allowed to explore who she is outside of Ren, which runs against the usual anime/manga bs. Weiss didn’t get with Jaune after finding out he helped w/ Neptune. Blake actually defended her boundaries when Sun crossed certain lines (even though they’re brotp not romantic, he’s a male character that could’ve been put as a pseudo-love interest). Yang is also shown to be more than just Blake’s GF as we see in Ruby Yang interactions, Yang vs Salem, Yang ageeing to talk with Robyn. They’re all their own characters not trying to be the perfect wife for a male character.

LGBT+ characters:

aren’t in a world of “everyone is gay or straight”, so for me at least coming across as more impactful

have Ilia (lesbian); Coco (lesbian); Terra (wlw) and Saphron (wlw) also married and w/ kid that aren’t treated different to any other couple; Scarlet (gay-male); Nolan (implied, I think its at this point and not confirmed, mlm); May (non-deadnamed, voiced by and helped crafted with the help of a trans VA, and not having her trans status be the central element of her character trans character); Blake (bi) and Yang (wlw) that are a main pair that are being allowed to build to a relationship at the same pacing as the hetero alt. pairing. BB being naturally built up and not rushed into a relationship, though still soft-canon locked in via Nora.

Are ALL ALIVE (funny how the straight white male characters get killed off?)

PoC characters:

Includes Marrow, Pietro, Joanna, Flynt, Yatsuhashi, Lie Ren, and Robyn as default heroes side

Includes Emerald having switched to the heroes side after having it foreshadowed in v3. Also possibly Elm and Harriet, depending on where they go in the future.

includes Sienna, who was admittedly actual wasted potential, being contrasted against Adam as the morally better version of violence in activism. A controlled violence actually giving a shit rights activist leader vs. a co-opting murderous abusive bloodthirsty psychopathic terrorist.

are easily the lesser in villain count vs. Caucasian villains.

So can the RWDE please stop trying to claim how RWBY isn’t better than anime/manga at least, but overall “isn’t progressive” in these areas.

Adam Taurus represents a very real element in real life regarding “Radical civil rights movements” ; extremism and co-opters; While the actual faunus rights aspect on its own is given a sympathetic light repeatedly. We also have Ilia Amitola, the female POC lesbian, get a redemption. While Adam Taurus, the cis white male edgelord? Is Evil and gets his death by double penetration at the hands of two lesbians. (Edit: yes, I know Blake is Bi, as is her VA. It was an expression explaining how cis white male “authority” individuals get emasculated)

The WF has a lot of references, not specifically the Black Panther one. Also the WF on its own is fine, its the version that gets corrupted by Adam’s psychotic co-opting terrorist ass that is the problem.

Reflective of reality where if any group for any cause crosses into violence that involves innocent bystanders; then they lose any credibility and are nothing more than terrorists. I don’t care what the cause is. Which is exactly what the WF under Adam presents; but is just 1 vein of it with Sienna’s vein existing, Ghira’s, and even Blake’s. Was it handled perfectly? No, you could have easily have shaved time from Adam to give to Sienna and had her live to continue. Personally I found Sienna to be the actual wasted potential, but EruptionFang naturally loves cis white male evil men as his favorite Meow Meows. Don’t even try to recommend a gay or bisexual dude to rwby critics, they’ll flip and call it pandering.

The MC’s aren’t remotely “paper thin”, nor secondaries. Heck the only ones that fit that bill are characters in the tertiary vein that are supposed to be that way. The “two traits” falls apart if one actually pays attention to the characters.

And most fixit fanfics not only sexualize the characters in a show with no fanservice...

Sadly they also overfocus on male characters and have their favorite male characters talk down the female main characters.

Robyn Hill represents the people standing up NOT against the military, but against fascism/totalitarianism. We see that for all the “good intentions” that Ironwood MAY have? It is always sabotaged by him. Ironwood backstabs Ozpin, brings an Army as a show of force, does multiple projects behind people’s backs, and yet displays more than few acts of hypocrisy. Volume 7 literally showed him acting as a dictator because he believed that only he knew the answer to everyone’s problems. Yet the consequences of HIS actions are what led to Atlas Downfall. Yang and Blake even tried to get Robyn to work with Ironwood and Robyn was literally willing to do so. Which of course pissed off Ironwood stans that anyone, especially a POC hero of the people, would stand against a Cis White Male Authority figure. The elections in V7 meant that anyone’s authority could be challenged by the people. Of COURSE Ironwood stans REFUSE to acknowledge the election part was good.

The attempt to balance idealism with realism is pretty interesting. What do you do against an enemy with an unlimited army, immortality, and agents who seek to turn everyone against each other? Do you submit to the “inevitable?” Or do you keep fighting to the end, instead prolonging the end?

You can think of this as having borrowed a theme or two from dark souls!

RWBY is at the very least leaps and bounds beyond most anime it's close in genre with. I remember seeing, partially in jest, the idea that RWBY has half the fanbase it does for being an action anime with a female case and no fanservice and I think it might almost literally be true.

It is depressingly hard to find a decent action show with a female cast that doesn't sexualize them in gross ways. Even shows I like on the whole end up doing that.

Of course, the points regarding love are helped by the fact that a good chunk of the female cast is front and center in the story. They’re largely in the driver seat and aren’t secondary to any male titular protagonist. Thus you don’t get cases where a girl on the main cast is there to be… the girl.

In any other story, Oscar and/or Jaune would be front and center. Heck, the three creators of RWBY are guys before their team grew so you’d think they’d “write what they know.” Yet they stick to their guns on having girls get shit done.

One Anime a person I know felt came close to this was, if you can believe it, Fairy Tail where Natsu might’ve been the prominent ass kicker but Erza is the one effectively leader the team, Wendy goes on an arc of learning to love herself and Lucy grows into the wizard that leads the charge against Acnologia.

Yet it sent mixed signals with how the girls (those of age) had designs that left little to the imagination. I can appreciate an artist honest in his horniness… but the Anime did something right when it came to Erza’s torture in Tartaros that helped sell the gravitas of the traumatic experience.

RWBY feels like the above but far more refined in execution. There’s a time and place for schlocky cheesecake but not when it clashes with the narrative and themes overall.

So tell me...without using Hbomberguys’ repeated false information about the “love triangle” or “self-insert” slander...how would YOU respectfully criticize RWBY? How would you claim to be “a critic” yet still encourage people to watch RWBY?

If you try to bring up Hbomb’s 2.5 hour hate video, then anyone who tries to claim that a video from 2 years ago no longer is relevant is just being hypocritical. (Looking at you, RWDE Apologist, you know who you are)

Oh, one more thing. RWBY seasons 1-3 were the weakest in terms of writing and animation. But even so, the fact of the matter is that anything that happened in those seasons are ignored by critics, theorists, and straight shippers.

Material Inspired from https://www.tumblr.com/crimsonxe/691425946111295488/since-i-ran-across-a-dumbass-earlier-that-tried-to

#rwby #ruby rose #yang xiao long #monty oum #rooster teeth #rwby is enjoyable #rwby is a good show #Blake Belladonna #weiss schnee #adam taurus #sienna khan #fairy tail #erza #erza scarlet #team rwby #Oscar Pine #james ironwood #ironwood

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