#actor eren x reader
Text
my love, mine all mine
actor!eren x f!reader
**part of my method acting series
content: HEAVVVYYYYY ANGST. does contain one part where a man is being icky/hitting on a girl in a gross way. viewer discretion advised. protect your peace.
an: ok yall. chapter is named after a mitski song we know it's not good. don't hang me at the stake now.
songs mentioned: my love, mine all mine by mitski
previous part linked here
--
“This is disgusting.” you mutter, as Armin leans over and takes a picture from what might literally be the worst angle ever.
Connie Springer, human menace, has been sleeping on your shoulder for a majority of the flight to Seattle. And drooling on your hair in the process. You make a mental note to kick his ass when he wakes up for being responsible for the globbed up hair you'll have when you see Eren again.
“He’s been sleeping for almost the entire flight. And he slept all day before the engagement too.” Armin murmurs, flicking the picture in between his fingers as he waits for it to develop.
“Typical.” you respond, readjusting so his head falls on your shoulder more comfortably.
You lean your head against his as he continues to snore against your shoulder, the desperation, the anticipation of what you’re going to do sitting heavy in your head. You’ve run through it a hundred times, the words stringing together in your head.
You’re staying with Eren for the weekend. His birthday falls at the end, but he’s too busy to see you guys, so you’ll take him out the day after.
After making ten very aggressive phone calls to the Seattle Aquarium and throwing a nice amount of money their way, they agreed to close off the aquarium for the weekend, so that you and Eren could have it all to yourself.
So that you could drag him there after he was finished on set and lie down flat on the cold floors to just watch the fish swim above you. So no one else is there when you tell Eren that you still love him, so you’re both surrounded in your own little fishbowl. So that he understands you never did stop loving him. That you won’t ever.
You pause. The guilt sits deep in your stomach, eats at the smallest parts of your conscience and corrupts it. The desperation, the anticipation - it sits heavy in your mind. But the doubt, the guilt, and the anxiety does too.
You either get to have Eren forever or you lose him for good. Because Eren is dating another girl and it comes down to something really simple.
If he likes her more or you.
“You okay?”
You look over at Armin and his perceptive blue eyes are peering into yours, his forehead scrunched up near his hairline.
“I-I have a dilemma, Armin.”
“Do tell.” he responds, propping his elbow against the armrest and leaning his cheek on his hand.
“I….I want to do something. But it could hurt someone.”
He frowns, squinting his eyes at you in confusion.
“I feel a certain type of way. And I want to tell someone. But being honest means I could hurt someone else. Sh-should I still do it?” you ask, cracking your knuckles between your fingers.
“Will it hurt you if you won’t say it?” Armin asks.
Yes.
It’ll hurt you if Eren goes on thinking that you don’t love him the way you do. That walking away from him wasn’t the biggest mistake of your life. That him pulling away kills you, because all you want to do is keep him close.
You can’t keep it all in, regardless of what the outcome will be. And for all it’s worth, you have the feeling that when you’ll see him, it’ll get the better of you, that it’ll be a matter of when you tell him, not if.
“Yes. I-I don’t think I can keep it in Armin. I’ve been sitting on it for a while.”
He brings his hand down on yours and squeezes. And then his blue eyes are shimmering, in the pale fluorescents of the plane lights, and you can’t help but smile back. It’s surging through you - the want, the need, the love you hold for him.
And there’s only three more hours till you’re there.
“I can’t believe you’re finally telling Eren you still love him.” he asks, so nonchalantly as he slides the picture of you and Connie, fully developed, into his wallet as he turns back to you.
“Am-am I that obvious?”
“I mean. You feel a type of certain way? We’re going to see Eren? It wasn’t that hard to piece together.”
“No. You’re just perceptive.”
Armin brings his hand down on yours again, squeezing hard, as he smiles at you - so bright and cheery that it makes you excited.
“God, ‘Min. Why are you so excited? You’re kind of supporting me being a homewrecker right now.”
“I-I don’t know. Hyla, I’m sure she’s great and all, but I just don’t think she fares up well to what Eren needs. Not like you do.”
You can feel your cheeks burning at his admission, the compliment and the implication solidifying in your mind. That Armin, Eren’s best friend, thinks it should be you. That you’re good for him. He’s quiet for a few minutes, sliding through the pictures of Jean and Mikasa - the one’s she posted of Jean and her hugging on the ground, minutes after he proposed. Equipped with a caption, that brings you to tears.
the one place i’ll always find myself returning. jeanboy, it’s you and me always.
“What do you think love is, Y/N?”
“That’s such a loaded question to ask me on a dingy ass flight to Seattle, Armin.” you deadpan.
“No, no. Just think. What is it?”
You rack your brain, long and hard. And they all come to mind - your parents, Falco and Colt, Eren, Jean and Mikasa, Levi and Hange.
Levi and Hange. The love letters Levi wrote to Hange, that he gave you when you wrote invisible string for the vow renewal. Maybe the first time you figured out what love might mean. That it was sharing every little part of yourself and every feeling you’ve had - ecstatic, overwhelmed, happy, sad, bored, and soft.
“Knowing each other. Love is knowing each other, Armin. And-he’s pulling away. I-I don’t want him to leave because there’s still so much more of him I-I don’t know yet. I could have a lifetime and it still wouldn’t be enough.” you murmur.
He smiles, leaning his head against yours, as he talks again, his soft voice murmuring into your hair.
“Eren’s known one thing since he met you. And it’s that he wants you around, wants to know more of you, that you’re the best person he’s met. He picked you to be his co-star, called you almost everyday he wasn’t with you, ran into my room and talked to me what it was like to kiss you after you guys wrote New Year’s day, you’re just it for-”
“Wait, what? He did what?”
“Huh? What part?”
“The New Year’s Day thing. You-you knew that we kissed?”
“Yeah. He told me and Marco, like fully woke us up. Said that you guys were practicing the kiss after you wrote the song and that we both needed to kiss someone immediately so we could understand how he felt.”
You snort.
“I don’t remember it being that way. I like totally froze up when he kissed me the first time. We-we had to do it a few times to get it right.”
“Well, it’s always been you for Eren. I bet you could aim wrong and he’d still come and talk about how kissing you is divine.”
“Divine?”
He freezes up, eyes wide, as he realizes his choice of words.
“Armin. Did Eren say kissing me was divine?”
“No. No- we don’t talk about that stuff. It’s- long story, you-you don’t want to know.”
“No. No, now you have to tell me. We’ve known each other forever, it’s-it’s not weird. Quit being all shy.”
“Y/N.”
“Armin! Please. We-I want to know. Please, I won’t tell him and I won’t think much of it.”
“Okay, well. When I started dating Annie, you and Eren had already been together for like a year. And I wanted…to know how to…”
“To?”
“Have sex.” he murmurs.
You bite down on your lip to avoid laughing and he turns his face, cheeks glowing pink, as he whispers profanities at you.
“You’re so rude. I’m not talking about this.”
“No, no! Armin, you’re just so cute.”
“Quit calling me cute.”
“Sorry! It’s just. You and Eren are so sweet, you’re like brothers. Giggling like little high schoolers about sex.”
“We were highschoolers. And you’re acting like you and Mikasa are any different.”
“Yeah! But you guys know we do that, I just never thought you and Eren talked about this stuff. So what did he say?”
“No. This is breaking bro code. I’m not telling you.”
“Armin! Please! You brought it up now it’s going to bother me forever. And-and you and me. We’re cool like that. We can talk about sex because we’re two grown adults.”
“Y/N.” he responds, in a warning tone.
“Pretty please! I’ve always wondered what Eren thinks about me because he-he’s so reserved and-and it’ll help me. When I tell him, to-to know how he felt about me. Help me not back out.”
“You’re annoying. You-you can’t just use that against me to get me to tell you.”
“Fine. You’re right. I’m sorry.”
He groans, leaning his head against the chair, and clenches his jaw. And then Armin’s turning his head, voice all quiet as he whispers.
“You tell another soul and I will kill you.”
“Okay, okay. I promise ‘Min.”
“I-I asked him about it. Because Annie and I were going to….I wanted to make it special. And-and I’m not the type to really, really take initiative when Annie does it first but I-I wanted to.”
“Uh huh.”
“And then I asked him, like. What it’s supposed to feel like. Having sex for the first time. Because, I mean. Isn’t it awkward? And I had heard it hurts for the girl so-”
“I’m trying not to like bite down on my own hand right now. You’re like a little angel.” you coo.
“Shut up. Anyways, Eren said that the first time he-he felt bad. Because it did hurt you and that he just held you after till you felt better. But the second time, he said it was like nothing he ever felt before. That he understood why people do a bunch of stupid shit when they’re in love because it feels divine.”
You swallow hard.
“Armin. He-”
“You’re it for him. I hope I got that through your head. Now just go tell him. And quit making me tell you secrets, you’re breaking every sacred code I have as a man right now.”
“Okay, okay. Sorry, I didn’t mean to mess with your divine brotherhood.”
He flicks the top of your head as you link your arm with his and squeeze hard. And flutter your eyes shut, with him on your mind.
--
“Connie.”
You reach forward and shake his shoulder, as aggressively as you can, in the back of the car.
“Connie.”
He’s slumped over against the window, fast asleep, despite the fact that he slept nearly the entire way here.
“CONNIE.”
“Huh?”
His eyes flutter open, deeply filled with sleep as he registers where he is, holding his hand out to grab you.
“Con. We’re here. And why the fuck are you so tired?”
“Shhh.” he responds, pressing his finger to your lips as he tumbles out of the car, leaning the majority of his body weight on you as you both walk towards the house.
Not Eren’s house, the one you stayed at when Ricky locked you out, but the townhouse on set since Connie needed to be back as soon as possible. You switch positions with Armin, him taking the responsibility of lugging Connie, as you both walk up to the door.
You nervously reach up to brush the tangles out of your hair and rub the tiredness out of your eyes as you knock on the door, putting on your best smile.
Eren.
Or not. The door swings open and a short girl answers, a bored look on her face and a martini glass secured in her hand. Despite the cold weather, she’s dressed up in a mini skirt and her hair is all clipped up in rollers - clearly from a makeup team by the way they’re placed.
“Can I help you?”
“Um. I’m Y/N.”
“Okay?”
“I mean. We’re here to bring Connie back. He-he’s supposed to start filming again today. And we’re visiting for Eren’s birthday.”
“Oh. Okay fine.”
She swings the door open as you and Armin hold Connie upright, loose greetings falling out of his mouth as he waves at the twenty people that are in the room, their names falling out of his mouth. They’re all lounging around on the sofas and in the kitchen, heads pushed together in their own conversations or on their phones.
“Connie. We-where are you supposed to go?”
“Uh. Right. We-we can just go to my room.”
He drags you and Armin up the stairs, even more people crowding the area, as you shuffle past and make your way up. Connie shoves you both into his room, the two of you falling on his sofa, as you watch him shut himself in the bathroom immediately.
“Should we try to find Eren maybe? I think Connie’s like sick or something.” you whisper.
“Yeah. But it might take a while, there’s like sixty people in here.”
“I don’t understand how anyone lives here. Lana and Eren staying in a house off set makes way more sense now.” you respond, as Armin pulls you up and you drag yourself through the halls.
You both amble down, observing the mess all around, as you read the names on the doors. You’re both holding hands, hard, so you don’t lose each other in the bustle of people and the sweat hanging in the air. And nearly six paces down, you find the door with Eren’s name scribbled across the door. Armin lightly knocks as you both peek your heads in, to find Hyla - fast asleep in his bed.
You swallow hard, pushing hard on Armin’s hand, as you both quietly shut the door behind you and walk back down the hallway.
She’s sleeping in his bed.
“Let’s just see if anyone knows where he is, yeah?”
You nod and both push down the hallway again to the crowded room you entered in, nervously watching the swarm of people in front of you and nitpicking on which one to ask. Despite the chill in the Seattle air outside, the inside here is sweltering - the mix of people certainly being a fire hazard and responsible for the itching warmth in the room.
One of the girls, lazily leaning over the counter, beckons for the two of you to join her, which you awkwardly accept.
“Who are you guys?”
“I’m Armin. And this is Y/N. We’re friends of Eren’s, we were looking for him. Is he around?”
“Ah. Eren and Lana are probably busy with the Bear.” she says, turning her shoulder and snickering with the people around them.
The bear?
“Well. We’re going to his birthday dinner tonight. You guys can see him then, the bus leaves at like six.” she mutters, shuffling off to the other side of the house and walking away.
“Okay. Thanks.” you respond, awkwardly rubbing your hands against your arms and turning to Armin.
Right on cue, loud music starts blaring overhead and you and Armin instinctively reach to cover your ears, Armin signaling that the two of you should just go outside. You both leave the sticky, hot room and walk out, kicking the rocks as the music blares on inside.
“God. Levi would have an aneurysm if we ever did something like that to the townhouse.” you mutter.
“I think I had an aneurysm standing in there.”
“What should we do?”
“It’s only four thirty. Let’s just…walk and get coffee. It’ll be six by the time that we’re back and we can meet him at dinner.”
“Okay. Sure.”
--
Two hours later and you’re seated at the most awkward table, in the history of awkward tables. Maybe even more awkward than the thought of the Thirteenth Disciple of Jesus, Ryomen Sukuna, being at the Last Supper.
You and Armin are across from the two empty seats - because Lana and Eren are late. Armin’s stuck next to a weirdly rowdy crowd of people, with Connie at the center, who suddenly has a random burst of energy and has been screaming for a better part of the last hour. And on your left, you’re stuck next to Hyla and Myka, who are way too inquisitive for your liking.
“So like. Can I ask you a question?” Myka asks, leaning into your space.
You shake the glass of water in your hands, perspiration leaking down your elbow, as you give her a nod. You nervously twiddle with the straw in your mouth, biting it into oblivion as she starts talking.
“So. I listened to dorothea. And then I listened to lacy. And I was just wondering what happened between you and Historia? Because your song was really sweet but she makes you look like a bitch.”
You swallow hard.
“Ah. I don’t know, we used to be really close when we were younger and filming Attack on Titan together and stuff. I think we just grew apart. And-you know. Songs are more about their meanings, I-I don’t think lacy is about me and dorothea isn’t necessarily about her.”
“Okay but like. What actually happened? Don’t like beat around the bush.” Hyla states, her tone biting as she swirls her own straw through her glass.
It’s the first time you’ve ever heard her talk, with your own ears. Seen her with your own eyes and interacted with her in the flesh.
She’s scary. Freakishly high cheekbones, slicked back hair, and siren like eyes that pull back to her hairline. A pointed nose, a sharp jaw - and unlike Lana, there are no soft features, no soft expressions to offset the harshness on her face.
“She obviously doesn’t like you. And honestly, it’s fucked that she projects onto you so hard. If she wants to be successful, she should just work harder.” Myka states.
“Historia’s busy, Myka. Got other things on her mind.” she states, making a snipping motion with her fingers.
“Sorry, what?” you ask.
“Oh, you know. Scissoring. Because she’s gay.” Hyla states, the ice in her glass clinking against the straw.
You freeze. And swallow hard to think hard on what to say next.
A topic that you don’t personally broach, and never have, but one people can’t seem to stop talking about.
Maybe you’ve had your suspicions. And you push them down and let Historia be. The longing glances at Ymir when she was putting on her harnesses, the way they were attached at the hip - entirely different than the way you and Mikasa were and more like how you and Eren were.
People suspected. It was a hot topic of conversation, especially after Lacy dropped and the people thought the lyrics were…homoerotic. People were stuck trying to figure out if Historia wanted to be you or date you.
You don’t comment on that. She’s entitled to whatever she is and trying to figure it out for her does her no service.
“So what are you going to order?” Myka asks, leaning over to look at the menu.
“Probably the spicy brisket ramen?”
“Ugh. Ramen has so much sodium. That’s how you get fat arms.” she mutters, flipping her eyes through her own menu.
You swallow hard as you shove your face into your own menu this time, probably drawing blood on Armin’s ankle by the way you’re jamming your leg on his foot. He lifts his own menu as well, the two of you whispering behind them.
“This is what my worst nightmares look like.” you whisper.
“If he doesn’t show up in five minutes, we’re leaving.” Armin responds, giving you a nod.
You both drop your menus to find Hyla staring at you two weird, which you two return with less than peachy smiles and lift your glasses to drink together. And right on cue, Eren and Lana are speed walking to the table from the entrance of the restaurant, absorbed in their own conversation.
Lana takes the seat across from Armin and Eren takes the one across from yours - Lana’s eyes bulging out of her head when she sees the two of you while Eren’s too absorbed in the conversation he’s having with Hyla.
“Ok, I’m here. Quit whining.” he says, leaning his hand against the back of Hyla’s chair.
“Only you would be late to your birthday dinner, Eren.” she responds, giving him a smile as she leans forward to kiss his cheek.
“My birthday is tomorrow, so technically, I’m early.” he responds.
Lana elbows Eren in the side, which he rolls his eyes at before turning his head back to Hyla, who's pointing at the menu.
“Eren.” Lana repeats.
“Huh? What?”
He lifts Lana’s drink on instinct and takes a sip, putting it down as he glares at her.
“It’s non-alcoholic. Calm down, Lana.”
“No. Eren.” she responds, grating her teeth as she gestures her eyes over to you.
And then Eren looks over, his eyes bulging out of his head this time when he sees you. Except his shock goes farther than Lana’s because when he moves his hand off Hyla’s shoulder, he accidentally knocks his glass across the table, the cold liquid drenching the front of your shirt and your skirt.
“Jesus, Eren. What the fuck is wrong with you?” Myka asks, snickering as she looks down at you.
Armin’s quick to respond, yanking his jacket off and placing it on your lap, drying the wetness on your legs as Eren stares at the two of you and then immediately turns to look at Lana.
“Y/N. Armin. What are you guys doing here?” he asks, jaw clenched against his skull.
“They’re surprising you for your birthday. Such sweet childhood friends you have.” Hyla says, giving the two of you a sickly sweet smile.
“Um. I-I’m going to go to the bathroom, my clothes are really wet.” you mutter, beckoning Armin to stay as you quickly speed walk to the bathroom with his jacket wrapped around you.
The second you make it into the bathroom, you shut the closest stall shut and lock the door, hanging Armin’s mostly dry jacket on the ring as you survey the damage. Eren’s drink - bright blue in color - has left a big mark on the front of your white shirt, but is virtually invisible on the black pleats of your skirt.
You instinctively grab for the tissues and wipe down the front of your shirt, which only makes the stain worse. And you don’t know why - why this entire thing is so humiliating, but you can feel tears burning in your eyes and your throat itching with insurmountable heat - as the stain doesn’t lessen, the blue splotch staying.
The door swings open and you hear an immediate knock on your door, shiny black shoes visible from underneath the stall.
“Hey Tinky-Winky. You okay?” Lana whispers, her voice soft as she leans her head against the door.
“Y-yeah. Just, um. Trying to get the stain out, that’s all. I’ll just wear Armin’s jacket.”
“Okay. I-I’m waiting for you out here when you’re done, okay?”
You lift your head to the ceiling, hoping that it’ll push the flaming tears back into your eye sockets as you try to quiet your sniffles and shove Armin’s black denim jacket over your clothes. You open the door to find Lana, sweet Lana, leaning against the door with a smile on her face.
She looks different. Her cheeks are fuller and rosy pink, her short hair growing out to her shoulders. And you don’t miss the soft bags around her eyes, the tiredness sitting in her frame. She opens up her arms, which you quickly sink into, her hands in your hair.
“I missed you.”
“Yeah. I missed you too, La-La.”
She pulls back, her arms resting against your elbows as she talks.
“What are you guys doing here?”
“Surprising Eren for his birthday. We-we missed him.”
She brings her hand to your cheek, cupping your face.
“He misses you too. Lots.” she says, giving you a smile.
You give her a smile back as you wrap your arms around her neck, breathing in her sweet flowery smell, as the door swings open again, only for Eren to be leaning against the door frame. You pull back and look at him - brown hair, green eyes, and no smile - staring back at you.
“Y/N. You-you’re okay?” he asks, shutting the door behind him.
“Yeah. Hi Eren. H-happy birthday.”
He breaks a smile - the first one you’ve seen today - and opens up his arms, wrapping them around your frame as he leans down, lips close to your ear. His right hand is firm on your back and the second one is cradling the back of your head, firm around your locks of hair.
“It’s tomorrow.”
“I know that, Eren.”
“Okay, sweetheart. No need to show off.”
At the sound of your nickname, you’re only wrapping your arms around his neck harder, standing on the tips of your toes, in any attempt to be closer to him. His smooth, laundry smell, his skin soft to the touch, and his hair perfectly tousled against your hands.
“Y/N?”
“Hm, Eren?”
“As much as I like holding you, I am technically trespassing in a women’s restroom right now. I just wanted to see if you were okay.”
You pull back, nervously reaching up to tuck your hair behind your ears as you nod, giving the two of them a look.
“Okay so. I’ll go first. Lana, come out like five minutes after. Eren, give it like seven. Not ten, because the timing would be suspiciously perfect.”
Eren squints his hand at you, his forearms clutched across his chest, as he glares.
“Or we could all go back together.”
“No. No, no. That’s weird. Just wait. I-I’ll see you two out there okay.” you respond, giving the two of them a smile and a thumbs up as you push out of the door.
You nervously duck back to the table, buttoning Armin’s jacket up as you slide in next to him, squeezing his hand under the table when he gives you a questioning look. You shake your head as he gives you a nod, the two of you clear and focusing back on the dinner at hand.
“Y/N. Are you hooking up with Sukuna? He’s hot.” Myka asks, leaning into your space.
You spit your water back into your glass as you start choking on the parts that went down, Armin’s hand comforting on your back.
“Um. No, never in a million years. We’re just friends.” you respond, giving them a smile.
“The Promiscuous video was really hot. You’ve never looked better.”
You turn your head to find the guy seated between Connie and Armin leaning over, holding his hand out to you as he talks. He has short black hair and cold, steely eyes.
“Vinh.”
You place your hand in his, thrown off by the clamminess, as he smiles continuing.
“I mean. Some part of it has to be real right? That whole bit where Sukuna’s like on the floor crawling after you walk away, when he pretends to pass out when you blow him a kiss, and when you throw the water on him just to take his shirt off after...you can only fake chemistry like that to some extent.”
“Ah. I’m an actress. That’s my entire job. And the song is called Promiscuous. We-we obviously leaned into a little bit. It doesn’t mean anything.”
“That’s music to my ears then.” he says, smiling.
You know that smile. It reminds you of Ricky.
“Vinh, stop it. And Connie, you’ve had enough to fucking drink.” Eren says, glaring bullets at the two of them.
“Eren. Shut the fuck up.” Connie responds, clearly irritated with Eren. The two of them hold their eye contact, for too long, as you look at Armin.
“Connie. I will beat it out of you again if I have to.” Eren responds, which makes Connie drop his gaze. The group laughs as Eren scoffs, his knuckles white against his glass.
You’re thrown off by the sudden hostility, Eren’s demeanor entirely different from what he was in the bathroom. Granted, he was still a bit off-putting in there, but the fact that he’s…purposely picking a fight with Connie is entirely unlike him at all.
Connie gets so irritated that he storms off, leaving the table all together, as everyone murmurs what a buzzkill he is.
Connie’s always been the life of the party. Even insinuating he’s a buzzkill is downright ironic.
“So. How is filming for the movie going? Which one is this again?”
“Don’t Worry Darling.” Hyla responds, swirling her fork around her plate.
“I’m really excited to see it, you guys. I’m sure it’ll be great.”
Hyla twists her straw in between her fingers as she looks in between Lana and then you.
“Lana Banana.”
Lana curls up her nose at the term, tilting her head over to look at her.
“You’ve just been so busy lately. You’re not really looking fit for your part anymore. I think Y/N should take it. Don’t you think, Eren?”
Eren swallows hard as he looks at you, eyes flitting between you and Lana, as he stays silent. And the beat goes on for too long and no one talks, so you bite the bullet and do it for them.
“I uh. Don’t have time for that actually. Danny and Sareen lined up a four day only show in New York City for me the week of the Institute Awards. I’m supposed to close for that award show, so I-I’ll have a lot of rehearsals leading up to it.” you respond, dissolving the loaded question so Eren didn’t have to.
“Well our next movie. You should definitely join, everyone here loves you. Vinh especially.” she says, smiling.
“Oh! I-I’ll see about that.”
“Don’t you think Y/N and Vinh would be cute together, Eren? She’s clearly into that whole bad boy thing since she liked Sukuna.”
“Oh, I don’t-”
And then Eren’s leaning into her space, lips a few feet away from hers, as he smiles and tucks her hair behind her ear. And then he presses a kiss to the top of her forehead, her cheeks turning bright pink.
“Do you want to get out of here? Just you and me?”
She gives him a giddy smile as she nods, putting her hand in his, as he drags her out, arm secured around her waist. He gives Lana a look over his shoulder as he leaves, which Lana ignores as she gives you and Armin bright smiles.
--
You settle into the bed, Lana at your side, as you reach for your phone.
you: everything good?
armin: yeah. connie isn’t even here he like never came back. also his room smells like pop rocks LOL
you: so THIS is why he’s sleeping all the time.
armin: everything good with you?
you: yes. i’m sleeping with lana.
armin: okay. sweet dreams. don’t think about stuff too hard.
you: speaking of stuff, i don’t think i’m going to do it anymore, armin.
you: i thought that eren and hyla would be more like…me and ricky. but he actually likes her i think.
armin: yeah. i think so too, i’m sorry y/n.
you: our time just passed i guess. better to keep him around as my friend than not at all, right?
armin: it’ll pass, y/n. it-it goes away. talk to ymir. about hisu. she can help you better.
You turn on your sheets to find Lana next to you, already sprawled over the majority of the bed, and dead asleep. Her expression looks so tired, her deep breaths indicating that she’s already fully out, despite it only being five minutes since you’ve been here.
And she looks soft. Her jaw isn’t as sharp anymore, a little bit of fullness in her cheeks, but the same pointy nose.
It’s pretty. She’s pretty.
You bury your head into your own pillow as you flutter your eyes shut, trying to will away the image at dinner. Except you can feel it in your space, the thought of them together, like you’re being poked.
“Y/N.”
Poke.
“Y/N. Wake up, sleepyhead.”
You flutter your eyes open to find Eren, big green eyes staring at you, with his jacket pulled over his head as the source of the aforementioned poking. On instinct, you reach forward and make contact with his nose, which has him falling against the wall and groaning. The sound is so loud that you both look over at Lana, who is unbothered by the sound and still dead asleep.
You jump up and cup Eren’s hands in your face, fingers soft and feeling for his nose in the dark.
“Eren. What-what the fuck was that?”
“You’re asking me that? You’re the one who just punched me in the nose!” he whispers.
“Are you stupid? I’ve had like three different run-ins with people stalking my house. I-I learned self defense.” you whisper back.
His face softens and he brings his hands up to where yours are - still resting on his face - as he removes them and drags you towards the door. There’s a jacket on the desk, which he’s holding open for you and gesturing for you to put on.
“What are we doing?”
“I-Armin told me you want to take me to the aquarium the day after my birthday. But. I-I can’t. I’m busy but I still want to spend time with you so, let’s go.”
“Where? It-It’s like almost eleven. Aren’t you filming tomorrow?”
“Please? It-it’s my birthday? One hour to my birthday?”
You roll your eyes and nod which has Eren pulling the hood over your hair and carefully zipping the jacket up as he gives you a smile. The two of you tiptoeing through the townhouse as you sneak out. His hand is locked in yours, pulling you hard, as he pockets the keys to one of the cars and drives you out.
He’s driving along the roads, nearly empty, as the moon shines light on the puddles in the road. The car comes to an abrupt stop at a small house and when you get out, the breeze and the smell of salty air envelopes your nose as you march up together.
“You have a beach house?”
“Not mine. It’s a friend’s.”
You nod as the rocks crunch underneath your feet and Eren pockets his keys, shoving the brass into the door and dragging you in. The lights are open and there’s a decent amount of giggling getting louder as he pushes you through the house, a confused look on his face.
“Why are you guys still awake?”
You turn your head to find two people - a guy who can’t be much older than you holding a little boy - frosting cookies over a granite countertop.
“Eren!” the kid says, shaking his arms and leg in his hold until he’s dropped.
The boy runs over to Eren, wrapping his arms around his legs as he excitedly laughs, the sound so loud it pierces your ears. In a good way.
“Teddy. Why aren’t you sleeping, little man?” Eren asks, crouching down to pinch at his cheeks.
The other man, from before, takes your side as he responds to him, giving Eren a knowing look.
“Nightmare, Eren. I’m Landon, it’s nice to meet you.”
“Y/N.”
“Ah. The infamous Y/N. It’s very nice to meet you.” he responds, smiling as he holds his hand out for you.
“Are you here to play with me, Eren?” Teddy asks, jumping up and down against Eren’s legs.
“Not exactly. But I do have a friend I want you to meet.”
Eren looks up, a smile on his face, as he gestures for you to crouch down next to him, Teddy standing in front of the two of you.
“Teddy. This is my pretty friend, Y/N. Can you say hi?” he says, emphasizing each word slowly.
Teddy gets embarrassed when you smile at him and immediately buries his face into Eren’s shirt, the back of his neck entirely red as he nervously shakes his head against Eren.
“Teddy. Just say hi, she’s really nice.” his voice soft, coaxing Teddy to say hi again.
You smile as he turns his head, brown eyes peering into yours, as he awkwardly shuffles in Eren’s arms, his hands knotted together behind his back.
“Hi! I’m Y/N. It’s very nice to meet you.” you say, flickering your eyes quickly up to Eren who's beaming at you as he waits for Teddy’s response.
“I’m Theodore.” he responds.
“Theodore? Since when do you go by Theodore, little man? Trying to impress someone?” Eren asks, reaching forward to pinch his pink cheeks and lift him in the air, which has him giggling like no other.
You laugh as the two of them keep laughing together, leaning against the countertop where Landon’s leaning, the half frosted cookies in his hands.
“So how do you know Eren?” you ask.
“We have a mutual friend. And he keeps coming around, to play with the kid. Uninvited, mind you.”
“We’re sorry to intrude. Though, he dragged me here and I had no idea. So it’s his fault.”
“Sounds like him.” he says, dusting off his hands as he walks over to Eren, scooping Teddy out of his arms.
“Okay, Teddy. Say bye to Eren and Y/N now. It’s bedtime.”
You walk up to Eren, who’s hunching down so your faces are close to each other as you both wave bye, the silence filling up the room as you step back and away from Eren. He gives you a soft smile as he places his hands flat on your back and pushes you through the open door, the sand and ocean glimmering under the light of the full moon.
Eren swipes a guitar case and a blanket off the patio as you both discard your shoes and pad into the sand, a few feet away from where the waves are crashing. Eren hands you the case as he places the blanket flat onto the sand and lies down on it, tapping the spot next to him and beckoning you to join him.
You cross your legs and sit instead of lying down, his head a few feet away from your knees. His green eyes focused on the moon, shining above, bathing you in the pale light. You open up the case, a beautiful acoustic guitar lying in the case and start strumming aimlessly against the strings, not missing the way Eren smiles at the tune and closes his eyes.
“Can you sing me something?” he asks.
“What do you want to hear, almost birthday boy?”
“Invisible string.” he responds.
You smile as you switch the chords, fingers strumming against the strings as you quietly sing, watching Eren’s closed eyes and his soft smile. His dimples on display, the freckles underneath his eyes, his soft, soft hair.
It’s only then that it stings. That you hold all this love, all this big, real love for Eren. That at one point, you felt it together at the same time but that he’s moved long past that.
As you finish, Eren’s shooting up, swinging the strap of the guitar off of your neck and slipping it around his own. He’s tapping the ground in front of him, beckoning for you to lie down in front of him now, his fingers soft on the guitar.
“What song is it?” you ask, head turned to the side away from him and focused on the crashing of the waves, how they roll perfectly, rise and fall to crash against the sand.
“New one.”
“Hm. What’s it about?”
“Marco. He-he gave me this Maya Angelou poetry book on my birthday a few years ago, the birthday where you gifted me the vinyl. There was a quote in it that just made me think.”
“What was the quote?”
“Just like the moons and the suns, with the certainty of the tides, just like hope springing high, still I’ll rise.”
The wave rises. And it crashes. Again and again.
“Sing, Eren. I want to hear it.”
Moon, tell me if I could
Send up my heart to you?
So, when I die, which I must do
Could it shine down here with you?
'Cause my love is mine, all mine
I love, my, my, mine
Nothing in the world belongs to me
But my love, mine, all mine, all mine
You shuffle away from the tides to look at him, his eyes focused on the strings and his fingers plucking so softly. Eyes focused on his lips. The lips, that could end you here and now.
“The moon is blushing up there, Eren. You’re writing love songs about it.”
“The moon is my muse. I can only write songs about her.” he whispers, his hands making their way to your hair, to tuck your flyaways behind your ear.
You feel your cheeks burning, the image of Eren - seventeen and whispering in your ear about how you’re his moon, how you have a pull on him - on the forefront of your brain.
“Y/N. You-you don’t remember what it means?”
“Huh? What are you talking about?”
“This.” he responds, his fingers switching to the other side and tucking your stray hairs behind your ears.
You feel your ears burning, when you remember. The secret signals that you and Eren came up with. And the tucking the hair behind the ears, it’s- it means he wants to kiss you. You shoot up and Eren swings the guitar off, knees hiked to his chest as his green eyes look at you, expectantly.
“You-you can’t, Eren.” you whisper, the thought of dinner still in your mind.
“Why not? Do you not want to?” he asks, whispering back.
“That’s not fair to her. You can’t.”
“You-you heard me right? Nothing in the world belongs to me, except my love. And-and you're the only thing that's really mine. You-you still do, right? Belong to me?” he asks, his voice wavering.
“Eren.”
“Please. Please, I don’t want to beg. Don't make me. Do you still belong to me?”
He brings his hand up to your face, warm against your cheek, which is ice cold from the biting wind, and you lean into it. The warmth, in his hand, his eyes, his honey sweet voice.
“Yes. Yes, I do.” you whisper.
“Y/N. You- don’t get confused. You know what this means right? Us?”
You give him your best smile and nod, your fingers tingling. It means he still loves you too.
He leans forward, eyes closed as he kisses you, warm and soft. The sensation tingles all the way down to your stomach, makes your cheeks burn, and your brain prickle. And you relax, the familiarity of this, so delicate, so unchanged from the time he kissed you last that you can’t help but smile into his lips.
You lean against his shoulder and look up, at the moon above you two, his arms wrapped around you.
“Moon looks pretty tonight, doesn’t it?” you ask.
“Always has.” he responds, his lips soft in your hair as the warm tears fill your eyes.
“Happy birthday, Eren.” you whisper, pressing a kiss to his shoulder.
“Thank you, my moon.” he responds.
And you stay there, to watch the sun rise. On the two of you, together, for the last time.
--
Eren tucks you back into bed with Lana as the sun peaks up, though it’s a battle in itself. Because Lana’s all starfish on the bed, her limbs tangled over every open space on the bed. But Eren’s rude and he’s just flopping her around, until he makes space, pressing a kiss to your forehead before leaving.
And hours later, the sun is sinking down, with Lana nowhere to be found and Armin reading at the couch to the side.
“Hey.”
“Jesus. It’s almost sunset, you’ve been sleeping all day. Whatever Connie has is rubbing off on you.” he mutters, reaching over to hand you a water bottle.
“Sorry. I slept late because-”
Because of Eren.
You jump up and take the seat next to Armin, excitedly telling him everything that happened last night. And he’s smiling so bright, blue eyes glimmering that you’re both excitedly hugging each other and squeezing hard.
“Well. He’s been out all day, but he should be back tonight. Let’s go to dinner before we leave, yeah?”
You nod, jumping up to the bathroom to get ready, the smile on your face aching your cheeks as you reach for the toothpaste. You peek your head out the door at Armin.
“‘Min.”
“Hm?”
“Do you have toothpaste?
“There’s some in Connie’s room. Just go grab it.”
You take your toothbrush and bustle through the hallway, past the crowds of people walking through. You’re lucky you never have to mourn the frat house experience. You’re fairly certain you’re living it right now.
You swing into his room, the smell of candy overwhelming, as you push forward and open the door. Only to find Connie, leaned over the counter, fixing up three lines of white powder with a credit card.
“Connie. What are you doing?” you ask, your throat burning in your neck.
He turns his head and his eyes nearly boggle out of his head as he quickly swipes the powder into the sink and the excess on his hands against his pants. He’s smiling, too big, too synthetic as he grabs your hands.
“Y/N! Nothing! You- it was a joke. It’s not what it looks like, I swear.”
You swallow hard as he presses you into a hug and the dots connect, your eyes burning.
Connie’s doing drugs. It’s-it’s why he sleeps all the time and then suddenly has intense energy out of nowhere, why his nose is red, why Eren told him to stop drinking.
Eren’s words from dinner ring in your head, of how he said he beat it out of Connie, and sit in a bad way.
Eren beat Connie up for doing this?
You pull back and press your hands to Connie’s face, to take him in. His skin is burning hot to the touch and there are beads of sweat matting his forehead, his entire demeanor so anxious, so jittery and nervous that it sets you off. And all you can think of is sweet Connie, so excited and energetic doing this in his free time that it makes you eyes burn.
“Connie. Are-are you okay? Why are you doing this?”
He freezes. And at your words, his entire demeanor changes and suddenly he’s on the floor softly crying, his head in his hands. You join him on the floor and put your hand on his shoulder.
“Connie. What’s wrong?”
“I-I just wanted to be the best, Y/N. I wanted to be the lead for once, I-”
“Connie. You, you’re-”
“Do you know how fucking tired I am of all of this? I-I can’t do this anymore. You- I’m done. I have to quit, I have to-” he says, shaking in your arms as you wrap your arms around him, tears streaming down your eyes.
“He couldn’t even let me have this one thing, Y/N. Eren just had to be the best.” he spits out, his chest heaving up and down as he mutters out more words, a long list of profanities directed towards Eren.
“Connie. You- we can go. Armin and I are leaving in a few hours, you-you should come with us. We-we want to help you.”
“You don’t get it, Y/N. Wherever I go, this thing follows me. That people know my fucking name when I walk down the street, when I go to the beach, when I’m at the doctor. We’re never getting fucking out of this. This is our life now.” he responds, cheeks straight on your face.
You reach for your phone on the counter as it buzzes, Armin’s name flashing across the screen. Connie’s still lying down flat on the floor, his tears falling straight onto the floor.
“Y/N.”
“Armin.”
“Are you crying? I-I’m sure it’s a misunderstanding, let’s just go-”
“It’s Connie. Can you come here? It’s- he’s not okay.”
“Okay, okay. I’m running.”
And a few seconds later, Armin’s pushing into the bathroom and his eyes are boggling at the sight of the two of you and his face falls when you explain. And then your phone starts buzzing on the counter, the notifications constant. You lift it and scroll, eyes flitting through the letters.
mikasa: don’t panic. we’ll figure out a response, okay?
jean: call us as soon as possible okay? ill kill him next time i see him
nobara: i’ll fly out to see you. are you still in new york?
levi: Call me when you get a chance. Hope you’re okay. Hange is going to talk to him.
sukuna: On your side. Whatever you do.
“Y/N. You- there’s something you have to see.” Armin says, dragging you out and handing you his phone. He rushes back into the bathroom to Connie, as you scroll through the tab on his phone.
It’s a video of Eren and Lana, with chunky headsets and microphones in front of their faces. You recognize the backdrop immediately - one of the WBS’s most popular podcasts, called Life in Love.
You press the clip and tilt the phone, eyes focused on Eren and Lana as they start talking.
“The person that you’re most associated with, Eren, is your co-star, Y/N L/N, from Attack on Titan. Can you comment on that, on what it’s like to have your first love be something so public?” the interviewer asks.
“First love is a funny way to describe it. I-I know that a lot of people like to assume things and we’ve never really said it publicly, but we never did actually date. It was a whole thing we did together, while we were filming Attack on Titan. Method acting.”
“Can you elaborate?” the interviewer asks.
“It’s like that thing with Ricky James. I mean, we’re all actors, we’re all part of the entertainment industry. And we do things, pretend a little, to make our art feel more authentic. The reason Y/N and I act so well in Attack on Titan, and win awards from it, is because we do it outside of it too. It’s like we’re acting all the time. You can turn it on and off.”
“So are you just friends, then? I mean, Y/N has an interesting track record with her own friends, like Historia and Jean and Mikasa that many people have pointed out before. Is that something that you can corroborate? That she’s a good friend?”
“She’s a good friend of mine, we-we laugh about it sometimes. And as for the stuff about her other friends, you know. You’re in competition and if you have something you really want, you-you’ll do anything to get it. That’s something I can admire. There’s only one person who ends up on a pedestal and if you have to kick people off to get there, that’s what it is.”
You jump off the bed and rush back into the background, where Armin is crouched next to Connie, his hand on his head.
“Connie.”
“Y/N. Hey, you ok-”
“What were you saying about Eren?”
“Huh?” Connie asks, eyes deeply lidded and his breaths becoming more labored.
You put your hands on his shoulders and shake, as aggressively as you can, as the tears stream out of your eyes.
“What did you mean? What did Eren do?”
“What he always does. Put himself first. Even if I’m the thing at stake.” Connie mutters, his hands shaking in your hold.
Armin gives you a pained look as your tears flow harder, your hands still on Connie’s shaking frame.
“Y/N. Get ready. We-we should leave.” Armin says, hands on his phone as he calls the car.
“Okay. I-I need a few minutes. And we’re taking Connie with us. I-I don’t care if he gets fired or whatever, he-he’s not staying here, Armin.”
Armin presses his hands on your shoulder, squeezing hard.
“I was going to say the same thing. C-calm down, Y/N. Okay? I’ll be back in a few.”
--
You wait in the kitchen as Armin lugs Connie’s bag down, swirling the glass of water in your hands. Your eyes are focused on everyone in the room, a smaller group, ambling around the room.
“Hey.”
“Oh. Hi Vance.”
“It’s Vinh.” he responds, giving you a smirk.
“Sorry.”
He scoots closer to you, his hand firm on your shoulder, as he leans down, a smile spread on his face.
“So, would you ever think about doing it with me?”
“Excuse me?”
“Faking it. Except, we can do all the real things too.” he says, securing his hand around your face and leaning closer to your lips.
You push his hand off as you put space between you two.
“Why would I ever do that?”
“Don’t act like you’re above it. Eren, Ricky James. I don’t see how I’m any different. Or if you have any dignity to preserve.”
You feel your throat dry, at the impact of Eren’s words solidifying in your mind. That him saying that your relationship wasn’t real only furthers all that hate you received after you told everyone the truth about Ricky.
That you were fake. And it meant now that people were going to start doing it again - start nitpicking every little thing, your relationship with Mikasa and Jean, with Eren and use every mistake you’ve made against you.
And for guys like this, it’ll just make them think this is okay. That you’re easy, that they’re entitled to what you’ve done for others because you’ve done it before.
“It-it’s really different.” you respond, running out of the kitchen.
You quickly duck out of the room as you see Armin dragging Connie down the stairs and make your way over to help him, the itchy, dirty feeling of the interaction you just had being pushed to the back of your mind.
You and Armin lug Connie to the back seat of the car, letting him lie down flat against the seats, as Armin reaches for the last of the stuff to put into the car. Connie’s still twitching in the seat, eyes pressed shut and sweating.
You place your hands on both sides of his cheeks, the tears filling your eyes again.
“Connie. I-I think we should take you to rehab or something, you-you’re not okay.” you whisper.
He’s quiet, still shaking in your frame as he opens his eyes and looks at you. And the tiredness, the red and the pain mixed together has your heart flinching in your chest, cutting deep.
“I hate myself for it. I didn’t want to be like this. That asshole who is high when his best friends are getting engaged.”
“They won’t be mad at you, Connie. We-we understand.”
“But I don’t understand. I wanted to remember it, Jean and Mika, they-they’re special. I-I wanted to remember it.” he says, his voice cracking as the tears start spilling down his face.
“Con.”
“I hate myself for it. I really, really do.” he says, so definitively, so sure of himself that all you can do is squeeze his cheeks in your hands as he falls asleep.
You brush your fingers through his buzzed hair one last time as you step out of the car, only to see Armin and Eren arguing near the bags by the door. You walk up, which stops them all together, as they both focus their eyes on you.
“Eren. Can I talk to you?”
He tilts his head towards Armin, who's still standing there, fists clenched. You give him a nod as he walks away, rolling the rest of Connie’s bags towards the car.
“Did you want something?” he asks, eyes squinting into yours.
“Yeah. I-I want to know what happened. You and I- we.”
“Y/N.”
You reach for his arm, for his fish tattoo right above his elbow and squeeze.
“Eren. It-it’s not true, right? There’s an explanation for this? Because we-we can help you. We’re taking Connie and leaving and you should come.”
“That’s not a good idea.”
“Eren. Whatever it is, we can figure it out. Just come with me. Or if you need me to stay, I’ll do that too. We can figure out how to tell the truth about it all. I won’t leave.”
He rolls his eyes, green eyes glaring into yours as he responds.
“Y/N. What part of what I said was a lie?”
You swallow hard, the acidic feeling in your mouth burning.
“Like almost all of it? You and I were real. We loved each other. And we still do.”
He places his hands on your shoulders and squeezes, as he drawls his voice out, each word stinging more.
“Do we?” he asks, his look so harsh it stings and the tears rise to your eyes.
Yes. You do.
“Yeah. What-what about yesterday? On the beach?”
He sighs, pushing his hand through his hair as he falls out of your hold, putting space between you two.
“I asked you if you knew what it meant when I kissed you. You clearly didn’t understand what I was trying to say.”
“And what did it mean, Eren?”
“That was a one time thing. For-for fun. It didn’t mean anything like that, I-I was just thanking you for coming down all the way for my birthday.”
You pale.
“You and I spent hours talking on the beach. About-about it all and-”
“We did other things too.” he responds, his voice biting.
You feel your cheeks burn with embarrassment, the understanding registering. That you spent hours on the beach talking, but amongst that there were other things you did too. The pale purple on his neck is proof of that.
“But-but you said all that stuff before. Sang that song, called me the moon and-”
“You’ve always been into that fluff shit. We always say corny shit like that before we do stuff.”
You pale, every memory of Eren whispering soft words against your skin as he kissed you souring in your mind. Because of the insinuation that none of it was real. That he just did it because he knew you liked to hear it, not because he meant any of it.
“Excuse me?”
“You know. The whole “we’re fish together thing” and the songs and all that.”
You stare at him, at his forehead crushed up in frustration and his green eyes, cold and soulless as they stare at you. You look down at his fish tattoo, and cross your arms to cover your own, glaring back at him.
“You’re a fucking liar, Eren. You-”
“Y/N. I’m a fucking actor. My entire job is to pretend like I like you, do you really think I am so incapable of keeping the act up when the cameras turn off?”
“It doesn’t make sense. There’s no reason for you to do that.”
“There is. I want to win Best Actor in a TV Series.”
“And what does that have to do with us?”
“Levi said that this role, if I did it right, could make me the fucking best. And you-you had no experience. I had to make sure that you actually liked me so that I didn’t have to carry you in every fucking scene. So that your acting wouldn’t bring me down.”
"Eren."
"Why did I win an award for the Thank You scene? Because you actually fucking liked me, because you were able to cry and act in the scene. You're a good actor, but you were never that good."
“But what about after? You-we were together when we weren’t filming.”
“You went on your tour. Got distant. Did I ever once make any effort to talk to you when you stopped? No, I didn’t. You broke up with me on that balcony because your team wanted you to date Ricky James instead of me. Did I stop you? No. You know why? Because who you date doesn’t fucking bother me, not in the slightest.”
“You knew. We-we understood each other. That’s why we broke up, because it’s fishbowl and-”
“Who the fuck would be okay with that? Seriously, if it was all in earnest, you think I’d just let you do that?"
“Then why the fuck are you writing depressing ass songs at the Met Gala and then taking care of me after the whole thing went down?”
“Y/N. You’re so fucking naive. That’s what you have to do. I act on the screen and I make people interested in me after the fact. I write songs about you, make it seem like you’re the one who broke up with me, so that people stream the songs. So that people talk about them. So that they’re popular. And then I save you after the fact, because at the end of the day, you and I still have a show to fucking finish and I can’t exactly leave you out there in the rain, can I?”
“Eren.”
“Think about it. After you were good and fine with Ricky, did we keep talking? Did it stay the same? No. I had no interest in putting effort in after that, because I was dating another girl. And I still am by the way.”
“Eren.”
“Get it through your head. You- I had to help you. In whatever way I did. Your parents weren’t famous and you had no ins. I have to do something to offset that if you’re my co-star.”
"No part of real to you? Not even one?"
"It-it's fun to pretend sometimes. But that's all it is, Y/N. Pretending. Faking it."
You feel a hand on your shoulder, squeezing hard, and turn to find Armin, his jaw clenched against his head.
“Are you serious, Eren? How can you even say that to her?”
“It’s the truth. She should try it sometime.”
You choke back a sob, your chest heaving up and down, as Armin lets go and pushes Eren, the irritation sitting in his chest.
“What the fuck is wrong with you? Why are you doing this to Connie? To Y/N?”
“Armin. We filmed one show together when we were kids. Don’t get mad when I don’t have the same loyalty that you all feel for each other. It was fun, but I still have a career outside of it.”
“Eren. You loved Attack on Titan. And us, you-you wanted to go back to it so many times after we stopped filming and went on hiatus.”
“Yeah. Because I was in a show that was actually good. Not shitty movies that were flopping. That-that had nothing to do with you guys.”
“Eren.”
“You guys should leave. I’ve had enough.”
Eren reaches for the last bag, grabbing Armin’s polaroid camera on top before pushing the last bag into Armin’s hands. And when he extends his hand to hand Armin the camera, he pulls back at the last second and lets it fall to the ground, with a resounding crack.
All you see is red.
“Eren. What did you just do?” you ask.
“My bad. I broke it.” he spits out.
Armin swallows hard as he looks at it, the camera that’s documented every portion of your childhood, every up and down and in between for the past seven years, now broken in his hands. Levi and Hange's vow renewal, every birthday, everyone messing around in between takes and- he just broke it.
You crouch down and put a hand on Armin’s shoulder, his tears falling straight onto the floor, over the camera. And pick up the pieces with him, the jagged edges hard in your hands, as you carry them over to the car.
You look back one last time, to see Eren with his hands in his pockets, illuminated by the moonlight, you take one last look and sit in the car. And then get in the car and let your tears flow freely. You lift Connie’s head and place it in your lap as Armin puts in the directions. And on your right, your phone buzzes and you pick up.
“Hello?”
“Hi! This is the Seattle Aquarium! We just wanted to know what time you would be coming by for your friends birthday tomorrow so we can set up?”
You swallow hard and hang up, cursing the stupid aquarium and the stupid fish that got you caught up in this in the first place.
You slide to Eren's contact - the picture of you two staring back at you - and block the number. And make a mental note to get your tattoo removed.
--
“Hello.”
“You’ve sat idle for three months now. And I’m not letting you sit around any longer. It’s-you have to defend yourself. This-you’re better than this. They’re making a mess of you.”
“Let them. Is there really anything I could say to stop them? No and-”
“Watch the link I sent you. Quit talking back with your shit excuses and remember why you even did any of this in the first place. And then call me back when you’re thinking straight.”
The line goes flat as the notification comes, the link in your messages. You open it up, a clip of Hange’s getting their triple threat commendation. Their speech, the one that got you involved in all this shit in the first place, ringing in your ears. The only reason you wanted to be a triple threat in the first place.
To anyone watching at home, in their living room in their rundown pajamas, this is a sign to never ever give up on your dreams. Because that used to be me, and it can be you too. Never let anyone stop you from becoming the triple threat you are meant to be. To let that fire run wild and true and let people see the real you.
The media made a shit show out of you, in the three months that followed. So much so, that you don’t even show your face in public. Because it snowballs so fast, the entire drama around Don’t Worry Darling, around you and Eren and Hyla becomes the only thing people talk about.
And the narrative is simple. You're quickly written off into something you’re not. That you faked your relationship with Ricky James and Eren Jaeger for publicity, that you leached off of their fame to be famous yourself. That it’s all you care about.
Hyla goes on the record and brings up the night you and Eren shared on the beach. And quickly gives you your reputation as a home wrecker, as a people pleasing attention seeker who likes people who puff up her ego.
People like Jean and Mikasa, like Connie and Sasha - who are still famous and good for your image, but not famous enough to over shine yoU. Not like Historia, who you so quickly discarded and then opened a full on competition with when you released your records.
That at the end of the day, all you are is a small town girl from Canada, with a sick need to be at the top of the pedestal. To have people clamoring around you, praising you, because of your inferiority complex. That you're easy, that you have no feelings, that you're not even a real person.
The words churn in your mind, the thought angrily swirling with every other feeling. And the push, the support in a moment like this solidifies your plan in your mind. To let that fire run wild and true and let people see the real you.
The real you.
you’re right. i’m in.
on my first flight out. we’re going to bury this asshole in the ground.
And in the most perfect way, you’ve got the best person at your side helping you. Always known for upstanding honesty, truth, and for digging people into holes when they deserve it. For burying them with art, with carefully chosen words and songs.
It’s what makes her the perfect right hand to your revenge. Historia's always had a flair for the dramatics.
--
next part linked here
an, again: sukuna reputation era? sorry. girls do it better. (im just kidding, he'll be part of the reputation era but our best baby girl historia will be too). there is just something so insane about them ALL using historia as a piece of evidence against y/n and then her being right at her side. also no one hang me at the stake please.
taglist:
@k0z3me @kayleegomez @yihona-san06 @bsenpai @sweetenertea @mykyoon @violetmatcha @rebeccawinters @cutiejg @bokutosthings @bookwrmm @mblrrr @wheredidmycrowngo @somethinginyoureyes7 @chilichopsticks @okaystopwhore @you-always-made-me-blush @itzmeme @firelordazulaaaa @whoami-72 @g-ghostly @intimacywithceline @erensmoodygf @cocomellxn @princess-ackerman @jaegerfiles @cacapeepee @squirrelspoetry @rui-0836 @moonmalice @invisible-mori @sofiasber @bbybeeb @timetobegone @tee4str @ttokki2 @leave-rae-alone @ec3lipsy @officialsimpp @gojojang @yookayyo @lordbugs @multiplefandomthings @iobeyfandoms @camilo-uwu @justanotherkpopstanlol @mel-star636
#seeingivywrites!#method acting#eren#eren x you#eren x reader#eren x y/n#eren jaeger#eren jaeger x you#eren jaeger x reader#eren jaeger x y/n#eren yeager#eren yeager x you#eren yeager x reader#eren yeager x y/n#actor eren#actor eren x you#actor eren x reader#actor eren x y/n#aot actor au#aot#aot x you#aot x reader#aot x y/n#snk#snk x you#snk x reader#snk x y/n#eren angst#eren aot#shingeki no kyojin
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eren fic recs!!!
💗=tumblr 💚=wattpad
💚.————————.🩷
a list of eren jeager fic recs..will constantly be adding!! please lmk for any i should add!!
method acting- actor!eren x fem reader > @seeingivy (basically the reason i still have tumblr, hiiiighly recommend)
stoner- eren x fem reader > theenexthocage
HATE ME- eren x fem reader > Hazzelnutz
the boy next door-eren x fem reader > nympheclipse (verrry angsty, very serious topics)
Rush- eren x fem reader > @daisynik7 (love college aus, almost makes me forget how miserable i am in mine…)
Bonnie & Clyde- eren x fem reader > kirschtiensmaid (was a very unique au! a lot of street racing and a different ending which i’m obsessed w)
reverb- musician!eren x insta model reader(f) > @chrollohearttags (i LOVVE this au. also this girl is hilarious.)
For You- eren x fem reader > simp4eren (has very serious topics)
The Last Song- rockstar!eren x fem reader > @ficsforeren (neeeed to reread, chapters are nice and long too 🥰)
roommates- roommate!eren x fem reader > @seeingivy (can’t forget the fic that led me to this writing goddess, she’s just so good😣 !!!!!!)
cupcake. -eren x fem reader > _xingqiiuu (dilf eren supremacy 🙇🏽♀️‼️)
omegle - college student!eren jeager x black! fem youtuber! reader > @luvrrgirl444 (LOOOVED THIS!! wish it was longer 😣 all the photos they chose for the characters are biblically accurate them)
(again,this is not it!! i will be adding more! lmk any you recommend!)
#attack on titan eren#eren x black fem!reader#eren jeager#eren aot#eren yeager#eren jaeger#actor eren x reader#eren yaeger x reader#eren jeager x reader#eren jeager x you#eren attack on titan#eren jäger#eren jeager smut#eren jeager fluff#eren jeagar#eren x mikasa#eren jeager x y/n#eren yaegar#eren yaeger smut#eren yaeger aot#eren yaeger x you#eren yaeger x y/n#eren yaeger fluff#aot x reader#aot actor au#aot season 4#aot smut#aot fanfiction#aot#aot x black reader
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IF I LAY HERE (WOULD YOU LIE WITH ME?) ★ masterlist.
pairing: eren x reader
genre: best friends-to-lovers-au, actor au, fluff mostly | warnings: fem!reader | wc: 2.6k
note: hey. i still love u guys and i am still pining over aot. will never stop probably. anyway, this was an older fic i wrote but i'm handing it down to eren! title is taken/inspired from chasing cars by snow patrol (my fav song)
⏤ Eren has had enough - it's been four months since he's last seen you, and he's not going to let his fame status keep him from seeing you any longer. He just hopes that you feel the same way when you see him again.
Eren was taking a pretty big risk, he knew that.
It was risky taking any step out of his apartment at any moment; he’d think he was safe until he made it to the end of the road, earphones snug in his ears, and the flash of a camera behind the bushes in the corner of his eye blinds him back to his front door in a twisted shame.
Granted, he’d expected it to be worse now that he'd booked a plane ticket and made a rather hasty, in-the-moment journey to the airport and on a plane with no layover. Usually when Eren takes a journey overseas, there’s at least one or two fans hiding in the corner of the suites waiting for him, or someone on the plane who’d recognise his face.
For this, he’d suck it up and take a photo. It was better to have good PR and be a little bit pissed off that he’d been discovered, than to have bad PR and to be known as the actor from Attack on Titan who didn’t give a damn about the people who essentially made him and his friends famous.
But Eren thought the risk was worth it this time. The plane touched down in a different country, and from there, it was an hour long train journey to a station he didn’t know anything about to meet a friend of yours he’d only seen in Instagram pictures.
You were at university now, a face he saw on a screen rather than a face he quite literally saw every day months before. It had been four months since Eren had seen his best friend, and fuck anybody who was going to make him wait a second longer before seeing you again.
You were his greatest risk, but it was worth it. You were worth it.
“Fuck, it’s insane to actually be meeting you right now.”
Frank is a good guy, ginger with circle glasses resting on the end of his roundish nose. He led Eren out of the train station, offering to pull his suitcase for him. “I mean, I’m a huge fan.” Followed by a sigh and a quiet, “Who isn’t…?”
Eren smiled at him, squinting in the sun as it hit his eyes in the direction of Frank’s face. “Thanks. I hear a lot about you, too.”
Frank grinned, whipping his head towards Eren. “All sexy and scandalous things, I hope. You know, none of us believed Y/N when she said she knew you. We thought the pictures were Photoshopped, you know how she is.” They both paused by the side of the road waiting to cross, “Shit, she’s gonna freak out when she sees you.”
That was three minutes ago, but Eren's still playing that sentence on a loop in his head. She's gonna freak out when she sees you.
He walks alongside Frank down one of the streets, past a redundant furniture store that quirks his brows. He’s missed it here, and how unbelievably, shockingly awful it all looks when you’re not looking at picturesque photos of it online.
“I thought you’d know that Y/N’s my best friend,” Eren says thoughtfully. He pauses as Frank does as a car zooms past when they’re about to cross. “I mean, people know. The photos got leaked, all of them.”
“Hey, give me a break,” Frank says dramatically. “I only really became a super fan three months ago. I'm more into Levi, you know how it goes. And yeah, I figured it out eventually. Finally, I understood why so many people at this uni wanted photographs with her and to be her best friend…”
Eren frowns. “Is it bad? She doesn’t tell me this stuff on the phone. I mean, they go crazy online when she posts pictures and we interact, but I didn’t…”
Frank shakes his head and grins at Eren as the words die out in his mouth.
“Nah, don’t panic. It’s not that bad. If anything, she might get a kick out of the fame. Trust, there’s always gonna be the girls who hate her because she’s friends with you and that’s like, what, threatening to their fantasy? But she loves you a lot, and a friendship like yours…it’s kinda like family, you know?”
Eren feels his stomach flip, butterflies going haywire. These butterflies are bitter and relentlessly fast, his heart racing that extra bit quicker. He likes the sound of family. He doesn’t like the way Frank implies it, because if Eren is ever going to consider you as family, it won’t be as his sister.
You’ve never been his sister, even when you became part of his family growing up on special occasions, or even just on a daily basis when you came to visit. There were times his family called you their own, but you were never his sister. It was different than that; you both knew it but never dared acknowledge it.
Frank makes small talk until they make it to the student accomodation you currently live at, and because Frank knows basically everybody, a student comes to the gate to let them both in. They’re nice and tall, wearing an Aston Villa shirt that Eren remembers looks a lot like your dad’s back in the day. Might be the same kind, might be a vintage.
He smiles at him, because maybe this guy knows Eren, but then the guy just turns back into the common room and doesn’t come out again. Frank doesn’t live here - he lives in a flat of his own around the corner, but Frank might as well be a resident here. He lets himself in towards the lift and shoots a text to one of your flatmates.
“Apparently she’s in the shower,” Frank says casually. He locks his phone, taps his foot as the lift rises, “Let’s hope she doesn’t stride out completely stark naked as you’re in there.”
He almost blushes, “Ha, yeah.”
He declines to mention the times you two have showered together, the time you went skinny dipping together when you were seventeen. Those were things that might end up getting misunderstood, and those are his memories he’d like to keep a secret. He says nothing, nothing but a thank you when he enters your flat with Frank and takes a different turn to the left whereas Frank goes right, towards the kitchen.
Your room is at the very end, your name on the door in stickers from a set you got from the market, and from inside, he hears the music in the bathroom. The door opens silently and closes with the same volume, and Eren manages to wheel his suitcase to the end of the bed and plonks himself down.
As expected from pixels on the screen, your room looks better in person - white walls and a bed set that’s white and covered with little peonies. Above your desk, Eren recognises all your photos together, new polaroids of you and the friends you’ve made at university who Eren always felt kind of threatened by. He smiles to himself, and rests his head against the wall your bed is attached to. From here, he can see the bathroom door in the mirror on the opposite wall, but he knows you’ll only see his feet when you come out.
Speaking of which; the song playing in the bathroom ends suddenly and the shower water has stopped running. Eren hears the toilet flush and his heart starts to race.
Four months of falling asleep on Facetime and texting when there was no time left in the day, and now, here he is, on your bed, waiting for you to step out and… And, then what?
Maybe you wouldn't even want him here. Maybe you were happier now that Eren was travelling the world with his other friends and film crew while you were still here, in a new city with new friends and a new life. Maybe the memory of Eren was burdensome to you. Worse - maybe he was something you felt you had to remember but didn’t really want to.
Eren's always been scared of the rejection he might receive from you. He might be a dream for fans across the world, but there’s a split second where Eren feels like he might not be good enough for you. He’s the world to other people. But you deserve the whole galaxy, and he’s afraid that’s something that he might not ever be able to give you, even with all the money and the fame.
The bathroom door opens and in two seconds, the light is shut off and he hears you sigh.
“Jesus, Frank, you gotta stop letting yourself in here without telling me,” your voice says. “Good thing I’m semi-decent. Usually I’m not.”
“No fun,” Eren teases, and silence follows. There’s a pause, and Eren cocks his head, his left cheek on his shoulder, waiting for you to click and appear in front of him.
Suddenly, he hears small but quick thuds across the carpet and Eren feels his chest tighten with a nostalgic feeling when you come into view with wide eyes, damp hair and nothing but a bra and those stupid black worn leggings you refuse to throw out.
The grin that reaches Eren's eyes now aches as he laughs at you, at the way you gape at his presence. It takes a moment, a moment of what feels like could be the rejection that Eren absolutely fears, but then you smile so wide that Eren feels it in his stomach.
“Holy shit!” you exclaim loudly, bringing a hand to your mouth as you hurry towards the bed. It dips beneath your knees and Eren rises up to a more comfortable position. “What the fuck!”
He laughs out loud, and when Eren wastes zero time in bringing you into his arms, hugging you tightly.
“Careful, my hair’s all wet,” you squeak.
“Don’t care.”
He really doesn’t. There’s probably going to be a damp spot on his clothes after, but that’s okay. You groan loudly with happiness as you hug him in return as tightly as he is hugging you, your weight on his lap and your arms around his neck.
Eren smiles so wide, sighing with content into your neck. Here, he smells the marshmallow body wash on your skin, the fragrance of your hair that kind of reminds him of Cabbage Patch babies.
“You smell good,” he mutters. You laugh quietly, squirming when his nose sniffs across your neck like one would kiss. “I don’t.”
“You do, you always smell good,” you reply. One sniff, he laughs, “See!”
“Mmm,” he plays along, “the sweet smell of planes and trains and jet lag.”
That makes you laugh, and at the mention of jet lag, Eren realises he could probably fall asleep like this given the chance. He has missed this, missed you, so fucking much. The emotions are overwhelming.
Eren kisses behind your earlobe, and then just underneath your jaw. That’s new. Eren was always a cheek-kiss kind of best friend, but never this.
You’re not complaining. Your head drops to one side, almost giving him more access to the space free, and he occupies it. Those fucking butterflies; Eren feels sick with nerves as he kisses you, under your chin and across your neck, on that spot on your collarbone you found out tickled after Seven Minutes in Heaven in Year 8.
Maybe your fingernails in his hair are a way of you telling him to stop - it’s something he can think about tonight if he can’t fall asleep, something he doesn’t care to think about when he kisses on your actual jawline, to your cheek and the corner of your mouth, your cupid’s bow.
He moves away with a blush that matches your own, but maybe you can’t see his in the colour of your fairy lights. He plays with the dazed confusion on your face as he moves the hair from across your face to around your ears, smiling and raising his eyebrows.
“Your hair is so fucking wet,” he sniggers boyishly.
“I told you,” you shrug. You shrink, relaxed, “Fuck, why are you here? I mean, I’m literally so happy, but… Are you gonna get in trouble for this?”
“I dunno,” he admits. “Maybe, probably. I mean…the guys know I’m here. Jean drove me to the airport with Armin.”
“That’s not what I mean, though.”
Eren sighs loudly. “Yeah, I know. Frank told me all about the girls.”
“Little fucker. Is he here? I’ll punch him for mentioning it to you. It’s honestly fine. It's only a few. Most are really nice!”
“You’re my best friend for life, it’s important to me that you’re not uncomfortable by--”
“I’m not,” you assure him, hands trapped in his hair. You frown and try to change the subject, “Damn, this got long. Didn’t look long over the phone.”
“I've been growing it out,” Eren replies. “Heard you fancied Keanu Reeves, couldn’t handle the competition.”
“Ha!” you retort. “Simp.”
“For you,” frowns Eren dramatically.
Conversation fizzles comfortably, to the point where you both forget that Eren's underneath you and your legs are wrapped like a koala around his middle.
The fact that this is normality for you both is ignored. You’ve done worse things together. Eren even knows that the bra you’re wearing now is one he bought for you, half as a joke, half not. That could be why Eren feels the way that he does, why the confusion wraps around his body and traps him.
Eren knows that the butterflies in his stomach don’t just appear because you’re his best friend he hasn’t seen in a while. He knows what they mean when they flutter when your name pops up when you’re calling him, when an interviewer tries to catch him out by bringing you up in another interview that you don’t need to be mentioned in.
Eren knows that coming here was worth the confusion, and the nerves, and the fact that this will be a headline when it gets out. EREN YEAGER GOES TO VISIT HIS BEST FRIEND…BUT ARE THEY MORE? Or worse, NETIZENS HAVE PROOF THAT A.O.T EREN IS DATING HIS BEST FRIEND Y/N…
He doesn’t want to hurt you. That’s why he feels scared. For you to be scandalised by an article online that caught him out in his feelings, he knew it wasn’t fair. Eren might be too afraid to say he’s in love, and too afraid to find out if you feel it too, if all those years of confused relations and flirtations meant anything, but he’d risk those feelings and the headlines if it meant being able to spend one more day with you.
Eren's got a week and a half with you. Something’s gotta give within this week. He doesn’t want to go back to filming with more regrets than he came here with, and so for now, he’ll just have to swallow those butterflies back down when they pour out of his mouth.
Right now, he can’t afford to be caught out. It has to be said on his own terms, when the timing is perfect. It has to be perfect, because it’s what you deserve. It has to be perfect, because if it isn’t, then Eren doesn’t think it will be worth it.
Losing you to a headline and a butterfly is out of the question. You hop off him and shrug on a jumper from out of your wardrobe. If you noticed his unease, then you didn’t mention it. He almost wants to cry, wants the confusion to go away for the night so he can enjoy being here.
Fuck.
For now, he thinks as he follows you with an arm around your shoulders out of your bedroom and towards the kitchen to meet the others, he’ll just have to fake it 'til he makes it. Just like always. Put on a face, put on a show, until it all feels worth the spillage. He can’t let the butterflies escape yet.
It has to be perfect, and until then, he’ll just have to be patient, even if it breaks his heart more by pretending.
#eren#eren yeager#eren jaeger x reader#eren jaeger#eren x reader#eren yeager x reader#eren fluff#attack on titan#aot#eren fanfic#aot fanfic#attack on titan fanfic#snk#shingeki no kyojin#aot imagine#snk imagine#ittojean#eren actor au#aot actor au#jeanbie
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That Wasn't In The Script (Actor AU)
//// Btw this contains hints to spoilers from the last episode/ chapter 139 so if for some reason you haven't watched it, DO NOT READ!!!!///
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"So tell me, guys. How do you guys feel knowing that the Attack on Titan is officially over? Like, that show will forever go down in history!"
Allen, the host of the official Attack on Titan talkshow Attack the Talk, asked your castmates and yourself. You were currently sitting on the stage in between Eren Jaeger and Jean Kirschtein, with the rest of your cast, Mikasa Ackermann, Armin Arlert, Connie Springer, Levi Ackermann, Reiner Braun and Annie Leonhart. You could see a few of your old castmates, those who were killed off in meaning, behind the stage watching with smiles on their faces.
"Let's start with you Ms. L/n, shall we?" The audience clapped as you bashfully smiled at Allen. Sure, you were a main character in one of the best fictional TV shows of the century. But you sucked at public speaking. At least acting was really only your castmates and wonderful team watching at the moment.
You cleared your throat before speaking, feeling your friends' eyes on you and giving you supportive looks.
"Well, Allen, this franchise has been part of my entire life. Literally. I started this show when I was about 9 and now I'm 19. So it ending is almost like the end of my childhood, which may seem kind of sad but it was fun while it lasted and I got to meet these wonderful people that I can joyfully call my family." You feel Eren lift his long legs onto your lap and you stop talking and stare at him.
"Get your nasty ass feet off of my dress."
Eren shook his head playfully and gave you a charming smile. "Nah. You said we're family and family lets their family rest their feet on them." You knock his feet off of you.
"Yeah but not when they're wearing a thousand-dollar dress. Let me finish my little speech, Jaeger." Eren held his hands up defensibly, causing the crowd to burst out laughing from the scene of the dynamic between you two.
"As I was saying before bird-boy over here interrupted. It's easy to say that I'll talk to these people outside of the show and end up never speaking to them again like other casts do but it's different. I grew up with these people so throwing them away would be like throwing my childhood away as well."
The crowd clapped at your little speech, along with your castmates. Expect Eren was literally clapping in your ear. "You're so childish, Eren." You chuckle.
"Only for you, L/n." He grins.
"How about... Connie! How do you feel about the show ending?" Allen moves on to hear other, hopefully just as sentimental, speeches.
Connie ponders for a moment, trying to figure how to answer the question as truthfully as possible. He fiddles with his expensive tie before seemingly having his words together.
"At least we won't be drug tested every three months. I'm gonna be fried every day!"
"No fucking way he just said that." You whisper.
The crowd falls into an awkward silence at Connie's... revelation. You watch as Jean smacks the back of his head. "Shut your bald ass up, Springer. We're 19 and 20 so smoking gas is still illegal, dumbfuck." Jean whispers harshly. Connie's face falls.
"Oops."
"Um... I'll just... can we edit this out?" Allen asks nervously. The cameraman shakes his head. "We're live, remember?" Levi lets his face fall into his hands, mumbling profanities to himself.
"Time for Audience Q & A!" Allen changes the subject quickly. That seemed to distract everyone watching in the crowd as people began to raise their hands, hoping to be picked.
Allen hopes down into the crowd and makes his first decision. "You! With the... Y/n x Smiling Titan shirt?" You hear Eren cackle beside you as you elbow him. "Shut it, you howling witch."
A man who looks like he hasn't showered since the premiere of the show and seemed a bit too old to be fixated on a show involving younger kids was chosen. Not to mention he had shipped you with the smiling Titan.
"He looks like a Discord mod," Jean mutters in your ear.
"Jean, that's mean. It may be true but it's mean." Jean rolls his eyes and gives you a cocky grin.
"It's only mean if it's not true."
"This question is for Y/n." The man announced into the microphone. He had a lisp and not the cute and barely noticeable sort that Armin had. Jean and Eren slightly stiffen.
"Let him ask you some weird shit, Y/n. I'll beat his ass on camera." Eren mutters. Jean watched warily as you waited patiently for the man's question.
"Who is your favourite character from the entire show? And why as well." The man's spit sprays into the mic due to how severe his lisp was and Allen visibly winced.
You think for a moment.
"Probably Eren's character." Eren jumps out of his seat and starts acting like a child.
"Boom, she said I'm her favourite. You all can suck my di-" You grab Eren's sleeve and yank him back into his place next to you.
"Sit your grown ass down."
"Sorry."
"Someone please take the boy into his seat." Levi pleads quietly while rubbing his temples. He had dealt with Eren for the past ten years and still couldn't handle his... personality.
"As I was saying. Eren is probably my favourite character because of how tragic he is and what he represents. He wanted freedom so badly that he never realized that he was a slave to it, which is such a great parallel if you think about it. He purposely hurt his friends in order to protect them too, knowing that they'd be the ones to kill him. I could go on for hours about this but we're on a time crunch so I can't." You chuckle nervously. You feel Eren smiling at you widely from your analysis of his character.
The man seemed content with your response and sat down. "Alright, who's next?" A girl raises her hand and Allen seems to think she's normal enough and hands her the mic.
"Hi, my name is Amelia and just want to say that Jean is so fine and that he doesn't look like a horse most days." Eren, Connie and yourself had to stifle laughter as you watched Jean pursed his lips, contemplating how to take that comment. Allen sighs and raises the mic to his lips.
"Please refrain from... whatever that was."
More people asked questions that were surpringly normal and everyone on stage at least answered five times. A little boy, around the age of 9, eventually got the mic and he looked extremely nervous to talk. His mom gave him encouraging words and he took a deep breath.
"H-Hi my name is Jackson. I-I was wondering if I could take a picture with everyone to show everyone at show-and-tell." He asked poliety. Your heart melted at how adorable the little boy was. You wave up him up on stage.
"Of course! Come up here, little man." Jackson broke out into a toothy grin and ran up to the stage as fast as his little legs could carry him. Armin helped him up onto the stage and Jackson's mom came closer to the stage to take the picture.
Jackson stood in front of you and you placed two hands on his shoulder. You smiled and felt someone wrap an arm around your shoulder before the picture was taken. It was Eren.
Jackson, after the picture was taken, turned around and wrapped his arms around your waist. "Thank you so much!" He exclaims. You wrap his arms around him as well, "Of course Jackson. If it's alright with your mom, I would love it if she sent the picture to me.". Jackson's eyes widened.
"Mommy, please send her the picture!".
. • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊° .☆. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊° .☆. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊° .☆. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊° .☆. . • ☆ . ° .• °:.
As the end of the talk show neared, Allen had returned to his seat and faced the camera.
"As the end of the last Attack the Talk episode nears, I wanted to do something special for the cast. I've gathered everyone going back all the way to season 1 right now and we are going to play a special video we've prepared for today. Everyone, if you could come out."
You watched as people you hadn't seen for years entered the stage. People such as Petra, Carla, Marco, Moblit. Everyone. You saw Sasha and Historia, who you hung out with just as much as the rest of the cast but you were still excited to see them.
Everyone gathers in front of the big screen, waiting to see what the crew has prepared for a final goodbye.
"You guys all worked hard, whether you were killed off in the first episode or survived until the very end. You all played a vital role in the story that is Attack on Titan and we all thank you. So we decided to put together a montage, if you will, to share your behind-the-scenes experiences one more time. I really hope you enjoy it."
You turn your attention to the big screen as it begins to play. The first scene was of you, Eren, Mikasa, and Armin as little kids. It was a scene from the very beginning of season 1. You guys were running around the town until you tripped over a loose rock and flew through the air. You still had the scar from the rough landing. You heard the director yell a stammered, "C-Cut! Someone gets the medic!".
The scene cut to the next, where Eren was yelling at Hannes for being a lazy drunk before he stumbled over his words, causing Hannes to burst out laughing. "Cut!"
Blooper after blooper, you watched yourself grow up. And it felt really weird. Nostolgic but extremely weird. There was a scene where Connie and Jean were supposed to be arguing about plans to kill Eren during Season 4 but things turned... odd.
"Bro if you don't watch what you're saying, I might have to dick you down!" Connie screams passionately. Jean scoffs. "You wish you could dick me down the way I dicked your dad down!" Jean screams back.
"Jokes on you, my dad got turned into a Titan!" You stare at Jean, who looks like he is about to run into oncoming traffic. He makes eye contact with you and begins to stammer quietly.
"We were joking, I swear!" He whispers harshly. You pat his bicep. "It's okay, Jean. I support you."
"Go to hell."
The scene shifted into a picture where Jean and Connie were about to be turned into titans in the last episode but instead of having their arms around each other's shoulders, like scripted, their hands rested on each other's asses.
You lean into Jean's shoulder and let out a muffled laugh. "Shut up before I make you bald as Connie." He threatened lowly. "And how would you do that, mate?"
"I'll shave your head in your sleep."
Your eyes widen in horror at his statement. "Please don't! I love my hair." You frown. Jean shrugged and stretched an arm around you and rested his arm. "I'm not an armrest, horsey."
"Fuck off."
The very last scene was when everyone had visited Eren's grave, a sentimental moment in the show.
Okay, not really.
"Bro really had to wipe out 80 percent of the population, huh." Mikasa scoffs beside you. You shake your head. "Right? Like if you're gonna wipe out humanity, do it right. He really let us stop him with only 20 percent left. Weak!" You look down at the grave.
A fork can be seen flying across the camera and hitting you in the head. "What the fuck?!" You screech, searching around for the culprit.
"Stop insulting my character!" Eren yells as he runs into the frame and tackles you. Before you could hit your head on the ground, Eren placed his hand behind your head to make sure you didn't injure your head. But he still had to get payback.
You could hear the director sigh from behind the camera and mumbling about taking a smoke break. Suddenly, Sasha had run into the frame as well and jumped on Mikasa and Connie and you watched as everyone began running around like children, tackling each other and laughing.
The video faded into black and remained blank until two words in white cursive faded into view.
Thank You.
_________-____________--______________---_______________----
Idk how I feel abt this because I've been dead on Tumblr for like a year or smth. But I forced myself to resurrect because Attack on Titan is over and idk what to do with my life anymore😜 anywho lmk if I should make a part two because this is really iffy for me.
#eren jaeger x reader#shingeki no kyoujin imagine#jean kirschtein x reader#attack on titan season 4#attack on titan#aot#aot x reader#aot actor au
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Attack on Titan Actor AU (part 3)
Levi likes to take pictures on set, he has a folder for each cast members. He shares them on his socials during their birthdays.
Bertholdt keeps a notebook on him, he writes down songs ideas.
There was a rumour about Eren and Mikasa dating, the actors both denied it when Eren posted a picture of him with Mikasa's boyfriend.
Armin has a major in archeology.
When the shooting ends very late Jean likes to cheer on his castmates to bring some energy.
Sasha and Reiner often send food trucks to everyone on set to thank them for their hard work.
Historia makes origamies in her trailer and gives it to the cast.
Erwin adopted his horse after finishing his part on the series.
Connie is the best at keeping a serious face during filming.
Hange hides snacks on set so that she could eat them between takes.
Ymir cried so much during filming her final scene, they had to stop shooting so that she calms down.
Pieck forget her lines a lot when filming with Zeke because she finds him intimidating.
Yelena's real voice is really soft she just aggravate it for the character.
Zeke teenage crush was Hange, he was very honored to share screen with her. Hange in return teases him a lot about this info.
After his performance, Marco got a lot of job offers, but he decided to quite acting and become a doctor.
Annie cried when she watched the finale episode.
#attack on titan#mikasa ackerman#sasha braus#annie leonhart#armin arlert#bertholdt hoover#connie springer#jean kirstein#reiner braun#eren yeager#levi ackerman#historia reiss#aot imagines#actor au#shingeki no kyojin#hange zoe#erwin smith#zeke jaeger#x reader#headcannons
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Worth The Wait
LEVIXREADER! Working for the hit T.V show, Attack on Titan has truly given you many memories and opportunities. You knew you got along with your Co-Star, Levi Ackerman, a bit different than everybody else. The question was, did he notice it too?
_______ׂׂૢ་༘࿐
♫ lover - taylor swift
❝ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ'ʟʟ ꜱᴀᴠᴇ ᴀʟʟ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅɪʀᴛɪᴇꜱᴛ ᴊᴏᴋᴇꜱ ꜰᴏʀ ᴍᴇ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴀᴛ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ᴛᴀʙʟᴇ, ɪ'ʟʟ ꜱᴀᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀ ꜱᴇᴀᴛ❞
You were four years old when you got your first acting gig. It was a commercial for a clothing brand that you've long forgotten; to say you'll never forget what it soon brought you later on is an understatement.
The grandeur of Oscar night welcomes you the moment you step onto the red carpet, the flashes of cameras and people calling out your name create a symphony of blinding lights, and clicks, with overbearing noise you can't quite make out.
Your assistant guides you and your "plus one" (a teasing nickname that arose when someone recognized you and not Levi when grabbing lunch), who just is your co-star and closest friend; Levi Ackerman, past the shouts of photographers trying to capture a moment of two well-known actors for Attack on Titan's critical acclaim.
To say Attack On Titan wasn't a huge hit was an insulting statement. It's proved itself by its many awards won over the years. It's bringing home one or more Oscars tonight to sit pretty for the rest to celebrate.
But for you, the real turmoil churns inside your stomach and into your already existing nerves as you await the category of Best Supporting Actress—your category.
Working with the cast who's seen you grow as an actor, most importantly; a person from the start is enough fulfillment for you. To share experiences that are one of a household is short of a blessing.
But when you heard the news you were nominated for an Oscar, nothing could've prepared you for the rush of emotions that was to come. With the satisfaction you already gained with Attack On Titan; being considered to be a real winner was the cherry on top.
The famous show has been your haven for years now. It's where your career took one for the books; where your name became one familiar. You remember your first day on set, the bundle of anxiety that sat in your stomach and never quite left until you got to understand the people you would be calling your family in interviews.
One person clicked differently from the rest. Levi Ackerman is someone you'd consider a best friend or even more. To be real, you couldn't even figure out your feelings for yourself, which led you to swear you'd never admit it due to sheer embarrassment. Plus, it seems quite scandalous to have a "crush" on a co-star you've been so dear with.
It never stopped the fans though.
They have long picked up on the chemistry between you two, both on-screen and off. Your characters, connect in ways of war, along with the unspoken tension that fans adore. You weren't complaining since it brought more media attention, but the cast always had a field day when an interviewer brought it up.
Long over the years of working together, your bond became inseparable. Close moments in the set transcribed to real life with the both of you.
Meeting him for the first time is always a funny story since both of you seemed to hold distaste for the other. When you sucked up the courage to confront him at his trailer as to why he hated you so much, you received a dumbfounded look. With crossed arms, he claimed, "I thought you hated me, so I just assumed you wanted space."
You two become closer and closer from that day on. Not to boost his ego—but his presence alone is a force in itself. The familiarity of his nearness is a comfort you've latched onto.
And, with the way you're latched onto his arm, grip tightening as the minutes fly by, anyone could pick up a clue.
You've been grasping his arm for who knows how long, but not a word of complaint has come from Levi yet. You feel bad, but your nerves are a title wave compared to the guilt.
Levi, ever the calm, senses how tense you are as he stares. "Just breathe," he whispers, leaning close enough that his words only reach your ear in the chaos.
You feel his breath grazing your neck, before pulling away with a soft nod; making sure his comforting words reach you. With a brief nod, you continue being directed to your seats.
As you and the cast find your seats, located in the middle with fancy chairs and decorum; you thank every high being you can think of when you see your name tag, then Levi's name, sitting right next to you.
"Oh no, look who's sitting next to me," Confused, you look to see Hange pulling in her chair as she sits. Levi, noticing your gaze, nudges your shoulder to redirect your stare. Following it, you find yourself looking back at your name.
"Shut up," You mumble, releasing the hold you have on his arm to smack him slightly, in return he gives you a grin.
Being sat at one of the tables, in the Dolby Theatre, is as surreal as it might sound. You can't take your eyes off the gravitating stage. You wonder if you'll be standing up there in a bit.
As the night progresses, the time for Best Supporting Actress draws near. You haven't moved from your seat in the dim glow of the theater, too hot and overwhelmed. Levi's hand finds yours again under the table, his grip firm. It feels different this time, probably considering how you're holding his hand rather than grasping onto his forearm.
From the corner of your eye, you can see him watching you, not bothering to watch what's happening on the big stage. "No matter what happens, we celebrate tonight," he assures you, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.
"I think that's just an excuse for drinking." With a suppressed laugh and a smile matching Levi's, he gives you a snarky glare, he responds with a "watch out" kind of look, and a squeeze of his hand.
The lights dim and brighten, continuing the show even though you feel stuck in one. In this grand theatre, spotlighting the famous and the influential, there you are, seated next to Levi, your hand clasped tightly in his.
It's comical to think about.
As the category for Best Supporting Actress shows up in big bold letters, your heart pounds like it's trying to beat right out of your chest. You can practically hear your blood pumping.
You're nominated this is it; is what goes through your mind over and over, and the reality is as daunting as it is thrilling.
Your palm sweats against Levi's, but he gives your hand another reassuring squeeze. When you glance at him, he offers you a small, confident nod, as if he knows a secret you don't.
The presenter takes the stage, envelope in hand, and the murmur of the room hushes. "And now," the presenter begins, her voice echoing throughout the grand auditorium, "the nominees for Best Supporting Actress."
Your heart skips a beat as your face appears on the screen, a well-known clip from Attack on Titan, Season Four. It shows an emotional moment, a scene that took you weeks to prepare for; and fuck did you do it well, the tears pouring down your face add to the dramatics.
You can hear your cast and others cheer and clap, long before it's interrupted by another face, one of your competitors.
In your peripheral vision, you can see a cameraman waltz towards you, ready to get your reaction to who wins the Oscar. Hopefully, the tablecloths are long.
Your heart pounds in your ears, drowning out the next few moments until the sharp sound of your name cuts through, clear and irrevocable. "And the Oscar goes to. . .,"
The presenter takes so long to open the envelope, to the point where you don't care who wins or loses. You want the anticipation to be over with.
With a tiny cough to clear up her voice, the presenter's voice is loud and clear and she presses her lips close to the mic. ". . . with Attack on Titan!"
At first, you don't even hear your name. Not even realizing you won, you open your closed eyes; that you didn't know were shut, to see multiple eyes staring right at you, the camera now shoved into your face.
A surge of disbelief washes over you, followed swiftly by adrenaline that rockets through your veins. As reality sets in, tears well up in your waterline, a few escape, running down to meet makeup that took your stylist a good hour.
You can't care though, it's a testament to the journey and the struggles that brought you here.
You can't even get up from your seat at first, you just sit trying to process this tremendous wave of emotions. You look to the left of you to see that Levi is already feet before you, his applause thunderous, joined by the cheers of your peers.
As you stand, overwhelmed, he reaches out, cupping your checks gently wiping away your tears with a laugh. "Hey, no tears now, get up there," he teases gently, pulling you into a hug, as you choke up a laugh and hold him right, slightly rocking the both of you right to left.
Letting go of the warmth of his embrace, you give him a smile, ear to ear; hoping it can express the amount of gratitude you hold for him in this moment.
Moving from your seat to approach other members of the cast you love, you hug and thank each one of them that's near as they shout congratulations at you. You know your time is limited; you give one final hug to Armin who's in your reach before speed walking towards the stage.
Making your way up where your face is plastered and a few new clips play, your dress falls long behind you as you rush up the steps, making quick work but not enough to trip and fall over your heels. Walking up to the presenter, you first greet her with a hug and kiss on the cheek. With a few words of congrats, she hands you the award.
Its solid weight feels real in your hands, it's something you'd never imagine having the privilege to hold let alone have. It'll forever be a tangible reminder of the years of hard work and passion you've poured into your career.
Approaching the microphone, you look out at the sea of faces—some familiar, some not—all smiling at you. There's so so so many people, is all you can think of as you release a sigh.
"Wow, um," you let out a laugh, wiping down the tears that continue to flow down. You pause, taking in the light that beams down before you start your speech.
"I honestly don't even know where to start. Thank you so much to the Academy for this incredible honor, to our director, and the amazing cast and crew of Attack on Titan. This is a dream I've never dared to dream."
You pause, collecting your thoughts and the courage to articulate the depth of your gratitude. That's when it hits you.
Your eyes scan the crowd until they rest on Levi. "And I need to say a special thank you to my co-star, Levi Ackerman," you continue, your voice already starting to crack. "Levi, you have been my rock through this entire journey. On-screen, you challenge me to push harder, and off-screen, you keep me sane. I can honestly say I wouldn't be standing here without your friendship and support. Thank you for being so, so amazing."
With a side glance, you see the camera cut from you to Levi, capturing his slight blush and proud smile, expressions that send another wave of cheers through the audience.
"Most importantly, my family and friends. I can't make up the words to describe all my love for you. My parents, who supported me always, and my siblings who even though always tense me," you smile at the memories, "were the ones always there. And as always, the fans. I would never be here without all of you, I love each and every one of you from the bottom of my heart!"
As you finish your speech, the crowd erupts into applause. The noise is so loud, and with the few people yelling their hearts out, it's a moment of realization that this is real. You feel a hot blush rising your neck as you take a few bows, before hushing off backstage.
You are greeted with a glass of champagne, as camera crews gather around, calling your name in all different directions to try and snap a photo of you still holding the Oscar before you take off for interviews.
There, it seems like a press conference. More people are there than before, and many of them are out with microphones and notepads already prepared. You hear a few clicks of photos being taken as you answer questions, but you can't help but laugh when they ask about Levi and the special shoutout you gave him. "I had to give what was due," was your answer.
Finally being released, you're escorted backstage to your seat, in doing so, a few give you bright smiles and nods of compliments for your win. You return them all with smiley whites.
As you arrive back at your table, some of the members of your cast excitingly greet you, reaching out their hands with yours to give praise.
When the previous moments seem to have died down, you can focus on Levi. Who's been patiently waiting for his turn. When your eyes fall on him, you know the words before it comes out of his mouth.
"Told you," he murmurs, as he takes your free hand in his, his pride in you shining brightly. "I still can't believe it," as he places both of your hands onto his lap, you take the next step to intertwine them.
You don't know what his reaction was to it, since you looked away as soon as you made the move, embarrassment written across your features. You feel accomplished when he doesn't show any sign of breaking it.
Levi leans over, whispering, "How does it feel, Oscar-winning actress?"
You chuckle, a light, bubbly sound that matches the champagne bubbles you'd enjoyed earlier. "It feels like I'm dreaming. Don't let me wake up, okay?"
Levi's response is a soft, genuine laugh. "I won't. We're just getting started, you know."
ૢ་༘࿐
The shots you took with Connie, Sasha, and Jean are taking a toll on your body now. You feel tipsy, well that's what you're hoping. It's not that dizzy, but the occasional bumping into people/things and apologizing with slurred words shows you're not sober.
As the glittering after-party unfolds around you, the music thrumming and laughter echoing under the luxurious chandeliers,
You can feel someone's intense gaze fixated on you. When you move your eyes to search for the culprit, you find Levi's eyes rock hard on you.
Realizing you're now straight directly at him, he excuses himself from a group of producers and makes his way to you. Your heart races a bit, a reaction you're still getting used to despite the months of filming together.
"Need some air?" he asks, a knowing smile tugging at his lips as if he can read your mind. Without waiting for your reply, he nods toward a quieter balcony area. You follow, grateful for a break from the overwhelming crowd.
The cool night air is a welcoming relief, the city lights below providing a soft, romantic backdrop that you try not to read too much into.
The cold air feels blissful as it hits your skin, you know you should have something to cover yourself, but the feelings to nice to let go. Plus, the way Levi's aligned shoulder to shoulder with you making his body height seep onto yours, you know you can last a few more moments here.
Yet, there's an undeniable tension at the moment, made clearer when Levi turns to you with a look of admiration. "You did amazing tonight, by the way. That speech was something else."
You smile, touched by his words. Trying to hide the obvious attempt of panic, you knew he was going to bring up the shoutout you gave him. You just didn't know if you were ready to face it. "I was just speaking from the heart. But thank you, Levi. I couldn't have gotten through tonight without you."
He nods, his gaze lingering on yours. "It's not just tonight. You know that, right? You've got this energy about you. It's like—infectious, and makes everyone around better. Made me better."
His words seem to send a shock through your body as you slowly digest his words. As silence warps around the two of you, you quickly change the subject in hopes he won't can't a glimpse of your body becoming suspiciously flush.
"Remember that time during filming when Sasha accidentally set fire to the catering tent?" you ask, a fond smile playing on your lips.
You turn your head from the view to look at Levi. Who has yet to say a word in the comfortable silence, keeping his eyes fixed on you? He snaps out of it quickly, seeming startled by your words before making his face fall back into one normal.
His lips quirk into a grin, his eyes sparkling with amusement. "How could I forget?" he replies, a hint of laughter in his voice. "It took hours to put out the flames, and poor Hange nearly lost their eyebrows in the process."
As your laughter begins to subside, Levi's expression turns thoughtful, a hint of mischief dancing in his eyes. "Remember that time during the blooper reel when Marco accidentally tripped over his own feet and knocked over the entire set?"
The memory hits you like a wave, and you can't help but burst into laughter, tears streaming down your cheeks. "Oh my gosh, yes!" you gasp between fits of laughter. "And then Petra tried to save him, but ended up falling on top of him instead!"
Levi joins in your laughter, the sound filling the air with a warmth that seems to wrap around you like a comforting embrace. And as you both stare at each other, a few tears of laughter streaming down your faces, you realize just how lucky you are to have someone like Levi by your side—someone who knows you inside and out, who can make you laugh even in the darkest of times, and who is always there to wipe away your tears, whether they're from laughter or something else entirely.
The moment stretches between you, filled with unspoken words and hints of tension that seem to hang in the air like a delicate tapestry, woven from the threads of friendship and maybe something underlying more. As Levi's hand brushes away the tear from your cheek, you reminisce from when he cupped your cheek when facing the shock of winning.
You feel a fluttering in your chest, a warmth spreading through you that has nothing to do with the cool night air as you feel your eyelids become jaded.
His touch lingers, the pad of his thumb tracing a gentle path along your cheekbone, and you find yourself leaning into his touch, your eyes now fluttering closed at the sensation.
His other hand finds its way sneaking to your waist, pulling you softly a fraction closer, and you feel the heat of his body seeping through the thin fabric of your dress.
With a shy, tentative smile, you reach up as your hazy eyes open to meet his. Your fingers tangling in the soft strands of his jet-black hair. The gesture is instinctual, a silent invitation that speaks volumes more than words ever could.
Yeah, you'd had your hands in his hair for multiple shots in Attack on Titan, and as much as it was a familiar feeling, it was one way more intimate.
Levi's eyes darken slightly at the touch, his gaze dropping to your lips before flickering back up to meet yours, seeking permission with his eyes.
You can feel your heart pound in your chest as you nod, the movement barely exaggerated but enough to convey your consent. And then, finally, he closes the distance between you, his lips meeting yours in a kiss that feels warm; it was worth the wait.
It starts slow, a gentle exploration of lips and breath, each touch sending sparks flying through you like fireworks. You can't think of anything but him, Levi, and how his lips touch yours.
His hand cups your cheek, his touch warm and reassuring, while the other settles at the small of your back, drawing you closer until there's barely an inch of space between you.
The kiss deepens, fueled by a growing hunger that seems to consume you both, a fire that burns brighter with each passing moment. Your fingers tighten in his hair, pulling him impossibly closer, while his grip on your waist tightens, anchoring you to him as if afraid to let go.
The both of you pause for a moment, catching your breath but not making any move to interrupt the position you're in. As Levi grips your waist tightly, he pulls you in for a kiss.
For a moment, the world falls away, leaving just the two of you suspended in a bubble of time and space, a universe unto yourselves where nothing else matters except the warmth of each other's touch and the softness of each other's lips.
You slightly move your head to the right, permitting him to go deeper than it already is. He gets the message, lips moving together, faster, as if they were made to be locked on one another.
And oh, do you wish you could last here in this moment forever.
Just as suddenly as it began, the "spell" is broken by the discreet click of a camera shutter from somewhere inside. You pull away, breathless and flushed, your eyes meeting Levi's in a silent exchange that speaks volumes more than words ever could.
Silence greets you both, as you both catch your breath for the second time. You ignore the camera, only focusing on what's more important. Levi breaks first, grinning as he stares at you up and down, then moves his eyes to peer up.
"Guess we should have checked for paparazzi," Levi murmurs, a playful glint in his eyes as he brushes a stray strand of hair from your face that fell.
You laugh softly, the sound a mix of nerves and excitement as you lean against him, arms wrapping around his neck. Without hesitation, he wraps his arms around your waist tightly. In the stillness of it all, you can feel the steady beat of his heart. "Yeah," you agree, your voice barely above a whisper. "But no regrets."
"None at all," he confirms, his arms giving you one more reassuring squeeze.
ૢ་༘࿐
The next morning when you wake up, you feel as if your head is about to pound out of your head. It's like you can still hear the remnants of champagne and laughter (and multiple shots sitting in the back of your throat that you drank down) You turn annoyed to find your phone buzzing relentlessly on the nightstand.
Squinting, you pick it up to find a barrage of messages and missed calls. The top one from Hange captures your attention with its flurry of emojis and exclamation points.
[glasses]: "YOU TWO ARE TRENDING!!! BTW, when TFFF did this happen OMG!!!!
Attached is a link to a gossip site, the headline screaming about the 'intimate moment caught between AOT stars at the Oscars after-party.' The photo shows you and Levi on the balcony, mid-kiss, a moment that felt intensely private now splashed across the internet.
Your heart sinks a bit at the intrusion but warms at the memory. You knew this was bound to happen, but couldn't it have waited a day or two? You're about to type a response when another message from Hange pops up.
[glasses]: "Prepare for paparazzi madness today! 😂 And call me! Need ALLLL the deets!!!!!!!"
You toss the phone aside, landing on your bed as you groan into your pillow. The weight of the newfound public scrutiny settling in. But then you remember Levi's lips on yours, the genuine connection in his eyes, and you can't help but slightly smile.
No matter what the public says or thinks, last night you found a new depth to your relationship with Levi, one that went beyond cameras and scripts. And for now, that was enough to face whatever the day would bring.
─────────
@siythn all rights reserved!
#ꜱɪʏᴛʜɴ#aot#levi ackerman#levi x reader#levi fluff#actorau#aot actor au#captain levi#levi x fem!reader#levi x female reader#snk levi#attack on titan#snk#aot x reader#snk x reader#shingeki no kyojin#eren#armin#jean
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Masterlist:
TITAN TAPES (AOT BEHIND THE SCENES)
The Titan Tapes consists of a compilation of clips from interviews, cast social media, and behind the scene footage on set Of Attack On Titan.
Actor Au ------Actor!Eren x Actress!Reader
A/n: I randomly got this idea to do a Aot behind the scene series after watching dangerous woman diaries ( iykyk). I was like, what if I do this for Aot, since people are literally still in shambles after the last episode, why not make it a actor au. I'm pretty sure actor au is basically canon by Isayama. Also, the chapters will be very short bc they are small events in each chapter.
s/w: suggestive language, ending spoilers
INTRO ~ 🎥
Auditon ~
Cast Read ~
Devil Invasion ~
Titan to Titan ~
Reunited ~
Guarded ~
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Actor!Eren whose had a long time girlfriend before the fame. Y’all got together in middle school thinking you were “in love” and all that cringe ish. When y’all got to high school Eren’s grades weren’t the best so you always helped him study. Once he got his acting job he treated you like a queen. Although you didn’t see him much and he was always tired when you did, he would spoil you with whatever you wanted. Sometimes you’d get jealous when other actors would touch up all on your man, but Eren would be jealous when a bum ass nigga tried to talk to you. Y’all been through thick and thin and he wouldn’t have it any other way.
Idk how I feel abt this.
#eren jaeger#eren yeager#eren x reader#eren aot#aot x black reader#aot eren#aot x reader#snk x black reader#eren x black reader#aot x black y/n#snk eren#eren snk#actor au#actor!eren#actor!au
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SAVAGERY
or the attack on titan cast filming season four, episode fourteen.
ft. actor!armin, eren, mikasa, jean, hange, and erwin
author’s note: new series, honeys. writing it completely out of order with a mix of on and off set scenes. send me your ideas. ♡
perhaps it was always meant to be this way, armin thought.
he and eren were never truly compatible. they were simply both outcasts, both unwanted by the other children on their street. so its was never that the distance between them was so close, but that the two of them were so far from everyone else that they were the only one the other could see.
even now, it felt natural that they would grow apart. that life and aging would only lead to clarity on who they are, who they thought the other was, and just how different those two people were. how different those two people must be.
so it was always going to happen this way—the two of them sitting at opposite ends of the white round table. armin in his uniform, eren not. armin beside mikasa, eren not.
he blinked hard to hide his tears, willing them to save themselves for someone worth shedding over. someone who didn’t abandon him for years without notice. someone who didn’t throw words sharper than daggers at the people who loved him. someone who wasn’t evil.
someone, anyone, who wasn’t eren.
face hot with anger, fireworks of nerves bursting in his chest, armin mustered all the strength he could to sound offended, but unhurt.
“how could you say that to her?”
he pushed himself up from his seat and lunged across the table.
armin has never been good at fighting. he left that to mikasa and the arguing to eren. even after months of training, his body felt weak and out of his control. eren could easily beat him in a match. hell, anyone could. but he couldn’t allow himself to stand by and watch. not this time, not anymore.
so here he was, willing his flailing arms to do something, anything, for once.
his body was jerked back before crashing against the table, his wrists pulled tight behind him in a hold he never learned in the cadet corps. the soft table cloth crumpled beneath his cheek. with one eye pressed into the fabric, armin steadied his clouded gaze on the culprit: mikasa.
eren rose from his seat across the table, his hand leaving bright red stains in its wake. his chest rose and fell, rose and fell, as he observed the scene before him, picking it apart like a scientific paper hange showed armin once.
a smirk pulled at eren’s lips, then he pressed them into a tight line, his hands drawing into fists by his sides. he’s never really been good at lying.
“you guys have to be kidding me. you’re not actually gonna make me do this, right?”
“cut!”
erwin groaned from his director’s chair, hiding his face in his hand, but peeking between his fingers at the scene before him. his eyes flickered to the clock on a nearby wall. they’d been at this for hours now, with eren motivating the majority of the retakes.
armin gently tapped his forehead against the table cloth. his face was hidden, but he couldn’t disguise the soft laugh that shook his body.
“reset the scene. again, please.” erwin glanced at his co-director, hange.
“how many times are you gonna make us do this, eren?” mikasa rolled her eyes, freeing armin’s wrists from her grasp. she rubbed her temples with her forefingers as she took a couple steps back from the table. working with eren was a headache — literally and figuratively.
“as many times as we need to get it right!” hange patted erwin’s knee twice before pushing off their seat to join the actors on the set. “we’ll do this all night if we have to.”
eren leaned over the table, leveling with his blonde co-star. “but how could i ever hurt armin?” with a pout, he lifted his gaze to meet hange’s, “i’d like to see you try to punch him, since you think it’s so easy.”
armin lifted his head from the table, propping himself on his forearms before setting back in his seat. “i would appreciate it if you didn’t.”
“you know, eren,” jean strolled onto the set from behind armin. he adjusted the collar of blond’s jostled uniform jacket before looking at eren. “it’s almost like we’re acting or something. like it’s not real, dumbass.”
jean was lucky (and clearly bored). his scenes didn’t start filming until tomorrow so he had an extra day to lounge around the crew, interjecting with not-so constructive criticism when he saw fit. also fixing armin’s costuming. he seemed to busy himself with that more lately.
“i actually find it comforting that he doesn’t want to punch me,” armin said, gaze cutting from jean’s hand on his shoulder to hange.
“do we need to get you stage fighting classes after however-many years we’ve been filming this? really?” hange looked at eren in disbelief.
eren brought his hands up to his hair, running them through the perfectly styled strands before remembering the fake blood. “oh, fuck.” he grimaced. “sorry…”
“everybody, take five,” hange cocked their head as they looked at the blood stains in eren’s hair. “or fifteen.”
thanks for reading! likes, reblogs, and comments are appreciated :)
#aot actor au#aot x reader#eren x reader#armin x reader#mikasa x reader#jean x reader#hange x reader#erwin x reader#armin headcanons#eren headcanons#eren hcs#armin hcs#jean hcs#jearmin#eremin#eremin x reader#jearmin x reader#aot fluff#armin arlert x reader
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I just had a brain rot of Eren being one of those insanely hot guys that rides around in his 2023 YAMAHA YZF bike in matte black 🤭 brb writing about this rnnnn
#eren jaeger#eren aot#eren jeager#eren jeager x reader#snk eren#levi ackerman#attack on titan#armin fluff#attack on titan eren#actors#eren smut#eren jeager smut#eren headcanons#eren x levi#eren jeager x y/n#eren fluff#eren jeager supremacy#modern eren jeager
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it's time to go
actor eren x f!reader
**part of my method acting series
an: im sweating.
songs/media mentioned: happiness by taylor swift and it's time to go by taylor swift (not mentioned but name of the chapter!!)
previous part linked here
--
You take a deep breath in as you stand at the shining bright doors of the building, the reflective mirrors at the front showing you your small frame in comparison. You brush down the ends of your dress, ridding your palms of the sweat accumulating as you push through the doors.
There’s a receptionist sitting at the front, with short black hair who is diligently typing away on the computer. You can see the issue of Vogue, the one the Attack on Titan cast did for season two, placed in a placard at the top of the desk. And when you look around, you see that every Vogue cover you’ve done - the one of you and Sukuna, for your albums - is displayed everywhere.
Then again. This is a big deal. Surely it’ll be their biggest feature of the year.
“Alright. Your interview should be up the stairs, in room eleven. They’ll start set-up at twenty and then the interview will start at half-past.” she states, handing you a shiny key-card.
“Would you happen to know if my request regarding the piano was approved?”
“I believe so. It should be in the room.” she responds, smiling.
“Thank you!” you respond.
You walk up the stairs and find the room, a few workers shuffling around the set. They all give you polite smiles as you walk straight onto the stage, an expensive brown couch on the left and the grand piano you requested on the right.
You take your backpack off and pull out the box, filled with polaroids all tagged to perfection for your interview, as they all start adjusting the microphones and cameras into place. A shorter, older woman walks up to you, shaking the microphone pack in her hand as she gestures for you to stand up.
“Hi! Thank you so much for helping me out today. I’m Y/N.” you respond, clipping the pack to the back of your dress.
“No problem. I’m Leila.”
You pause.
“I know you. We-we’ve met before, right?”
Her face widens in shock as she nods, a bright smile spreading across her face.
“Yes, that’s right.” she murmurs, voice quiet.
“It was…god. That was years ago, back when we were doing press for season two. We filmed a video for your daughter, she was asleep and she was a really big fan, right? How is she doing?”
“She’s doing good. She’s still a big fan of your music.” she says, smiling as she loops the wires through your ears, shuffling your hair behind your ear as she readjusts.
“That’s sweet. I’m so glad she enjoys it, that-that’s very special to me that she does.” you respond, cheeks warm and something stirring in your chest.
You take her in full, trying hard to wrack your brain for how she used to look. She’s definitely years older now - five to be exact - but you can’t pinpoint any. No wrinkles, no tiredness - still the same woman you knew.
But you’re miles away from who you used to be, having aged what feels like eons. You think back to the interview, the compliments you and Eren gave to each other stinging in your mind.
Eren. I wouldn’t be standing here if it wasn’t for you. Not only because you took a chance on me after our first screen test, but every other hiccup along the way was only something I could swallow because of you. You-your steadfast determination and belief in me is something so inspiring, so warm unlike anything else. You’ve always been a safe place for me, somewhere I can always run to when I need someone. I’m so glad we can always be fish together.
Y/N. You’ve always been able to sense my feelings - my happiness, my frustrations, my pain - without me having to tell you. And you always, always know how to say the right thing to bring me back down to Earth from it all. You make me a better person and I love you for it.
You’re sure you're crying as you look back at Leila, her eyes wide as she reaches forward to wipe the tears. The deep feeling, the sadness sitting so deep in your chest that you’ve been trying to ignore, is suddenly too overwhelming, too loud for you to swallow.
“I’m so sorry. Was it something I said?” she asks, her look frantic.
You take her hand in yours, squeezing three times.
“No. It’s me. I just remembered that interview. What Eren and I had said to each other and it made me a little sad, that’s all.” you respond, wiping your tears against the back of your hand.
Her face deflates.
“I’m very sorry for what happened. To the both of you.”
You sigh.
“Thank you. I-I appreciate that.”
“This industry is not kind. To anyone. And having seen how you two were as kids, how genuine, it’s sad to see what they’ve said to you both. You know that most of it, if any, isn’t your fault. People- they’re cruel. You’re a very brave girl for still coming here.”
You swallow hard. And hope she still thinks you’re brave at the end of your interview.
You sit down on the couch, anxiously tucking the ends of your hair towards the back of your ears, as the interviewer walks in, a bright smile on her face. Leila leaves, giving you a thumbs up as she walks away.
“Y/N. Congratulations. I’m Layla. Thank you for finally coming down for your interview.” she states, taking her seat on the couch next to you as they adjust the microphone in front of her. She has a blue box in her hands, which she tucks behind the couch.
You don’t miss the snub she makes at you for postponing for months on end. You became a triple threat months ago. And your interview - about your career, about your work - was supposed to happen ages ago.
“Thank you for waiting until I was ready. I can promise you-you won’t be disappointed with what I have for you. What’s that?”
“It’s for you. We’re saving it for the end of the interview.” she states, giving you a smile.
You nod, as you brace your knuckles against your own box, the director coming over to give you both directions and stage you properly against the cameras.
“Hello everyone! My name is Layla Ray and I’m here with Y/N L/N. After a great deal of anticipation, Y/N is finally here, seated with Vogue, for the infamous triple threat interview. We’re going to go through the highs and lows of her career and ultimately discuss what comes with such a great title. Y/N, how are you feeling?” she asks, giving you a bright smile.
You swallow hard.
“Thank you, Layla. I’m doing okay. How are you?”
“I’m great, thank you for asking. This interview has been a long time coming. Six months to be exact. Any particular reason why?” she states, adjusting her tone to be quieter, matching your tone. You can tell she’s a skilled interviewer - the excitement from before dying down as she brings the energy lower.
“I-I wanted to be sure of what I wanted to say here. I want to be honest when we talk about my career and that requires self-reflection. I needed the time to do that. And I-I brought things here to share so I had to put those together too.” you state.
“We’ll go back to the start then. What drew you to the industry - acting, singing, dancing?” she asks.
You pull out your first picture, the one you ripped off of your wall. The paint is still stuck to the tape on the back, the picture of you, Falco, and Colt at your popstar themed birthday party. Colt and Falco have excited smiles on their faces, a sparkly pink crown on top of your head and your hands are clenched around the microphone, at the bottom. You can hear Eren’s words ringing in your mind.
Everyone else holds the microphone at the top, their fingers nearly wrapped around the wire. You’re like the only person I know who holds it at the bottom - like you’re doing in the picture.
“This is me at my fourth birthday party. It was a popstar themed birthday party my parents threw for me. I performed a little show for them and my brothers, did karaoke, the whole thing. I-I saw Hange’s speech a few years later when they became a triple threat and it-it basically cemented this as my dream.” you respond, holding up the picture before handing it to Layla.
She’s smiling, running her fingers over the picture.
“This must be a surreal moment. A dream come true.”
You wish.
“Let’s talk about Attack on Titan. How did you find out about it, what was it like being cast, and on a set for the first time?”
“I found out about it through a flier at my coffee shop. I kind of showed up on a whim and did a chemistry read with my co-star. I got the role later that week and was flown out to be with them all. I-I was overwhelmed when I got there at first. I didn’t know much about the set, the terms that you’re supposed to use, they-they had to teach it all to me, like I was a five year old. A fish out of water moment.”
You nervously walk to the other side of the set, where Eren’s sitting in the makeup chair. The team is brushing through the ends of his brown locks, his eyes fixed on his script in front of him, as he murmurs his lines under his breath. You reach forward and snatch the paper out of his hands and tuck it under your arm.
“Good morning to you too, Y/N.” he responds, eyes wide as he smiles at you.
“Sorry. Good morning, Eren.”
He smiles.
“I was joking. Did you need something?”
“I have an embarrassing question. Can you come here?” you murmur, cheeks burning pink.
He quickly hops off the chair, giving a sympathetic nod to the makeup team, as he wraps his arm around your shoulder, his face close to yours as you talk in hushed tones.
“What’s wrong?”
“What’s a hot brick?” you ask.
“Huh?”
“Hange. They-they asked me to bring them a hot brick. And when I said what, they were like…You do know what a hot brick is, right? And I got so embarrassed I kind of ran away and now I don’t know what to do.”
Eren pauses as he registers, which is immediately followed by him smiling and leading you towards the back of the room. He picks up one of the charged batteries of the walkie talkies and places it flat in your palm.
“A hot brick is a fully charged battery.”
“Oh. Right. Th-thanks, Eren.”
He puts his hand on your shoulder.
“It’s only like your sixth day on a set. I didn’t even know this stuff until the end of my first movie. You-you aren’t behind, I promise.”
“Okay. Thanks, I guess.”
“I’ll help you. Before the rest of the cast gets here. Teach you all the terms and the secrets and stuff. You’ll be a natural.”
“Really?”
Eren gives you a nod, the smile on his face drawing your eyes to his dimples.
“Thank you, Eren. Really.”
“It’s no biggie. I’ll help you with anything you want. Just ask, okay?”
“One of our most overwhelming questions that we received was what was it like filming with your cast? Your show - along with Jujutsu Kaisen - were really the first of their types to have such a big child actor presence on them.”
You smile, pulling out your next three pictures. The first - it's a picture of you and Bertholdt, holding a World’s Greatest Dad mug in front of Levi, who has the most annoyed expression on his face. The second is of you and Historia - tying Reiner’s hair into two tiny ponytails. And the third - you and Marco, hugging each other so hard that your cheeks are pressed together.
“It was the time of my life, really. I-I went to sleep every night with a smile on my face. They were genuinely such good friends of mine and this experience, these memories - they’ll always be special to me.”
“Do you have a favorite memory?” she asks.
“Hm. I-we were all kind of immature at that age. I still am. Anything related to dirty jokes, especially when Erwin or Hange were involved is a surefire favorite. Sometimes I’ll remember them and still burst out laughing.”
The teacher stands at the front of the makeshift classroom, the lazy energy enveloping the room. The warm haze of the summer has the ends of your hair sticking to your neck, the cold desk soothing your burning skin - preventing you from listening to whatever the physics teacher is saying about the solar system.
You look to your right to find the same sentiment shared by everyone else too. Eren’s eyes are closed, his chin resting against his desk as the sweat rolls down the side of his face. Connie and Sasha are sharing a cold drink between them and Jean’s nearly turning pink as he fans Mikasa - the only one who looks relatively comfortable right now.
You kick Eren’s leg.
“Hm? What’dya want, sweetheart?” he murmurs.
“Jean is fanning Mika. You could do the same.” you groan.
You feel a light breeze on your neck as you turn your head to see Eren, leaning against his arm as he fans you with the book. You take it from his hand, giving a head shake as you turn to your side, the two of you facing each other on the aisles. You instinctively place your feet on top of his, the two of you looking at each other.
“I was kidding.”
“I know. I don’t mind though. You’re looking a little hot.”
You smile.
“Just a little?”
“Shut up. You know exactly what I think about how you look.” he says, rolling his eyes.
You bite back your smile.
“And that’s why the answer is Uranus.” the teacher says, metal pointer smacking against the board.
You look up at Eren, the two of you so incredulous - from the heat, from being stuck in here for three hours, from how stupid of a word it is - that you both burst out laughing. And then get in trouble together.
“What the hell was so funny that your teacher had to take you out of class?” Levi asks, arms crossed against his chest as he stares the two of you down, hours later. Hange and Erwin are trying to mimic his intimidated stance, but all you and Eren can do is laugh.
“Um. You don’t want to know, Levi.” you respond.
“It’s stupid. We’re sorry.” Eren states.
“No. No, I want to know what was so funny that you laughed so hard you pissed one of your nicest teachers off.”
You and Eren give each other a look.
“It-it’s inappropriate. We’re really sorry, okay? We’ll go and apologize right away.”
You and Eren stand up, linking arms together as you move to walk away. Except Levi’s moved in front of you two, an entirely different look on his face.
“Do I need to have a talk with you two?”
“What?” you ask.
“A talk. About sex.”
You and Eren turn your heads to each other, eyes wide. And you immediately start back tracking.
“Levi. Ew- oh my god. What’s wrong with you? You’re so disgusting. And-and-and a pervert.”
“Y/N. Do we have to have a talk? Are you being safe? Why are you guys making dirty jokes in class that you can’t tell me?” he repeats, eyes burning into yours.
“No! Oh my god Levi! It’s not like that.”
Levi looks back at Hange as you look over at Eren, who's pouting at you.
“What, Eren?”
“You don’t have to act like you’re soooo repulsed by it. That’s not what you sounded like-”
You smack your hand over his mouth, cheeks burning.
“Eren. Shut up. This is not the time or the place to be bringing THAT up.”
He smirks, clearly delighted by how embarrassed you are, before pressing a kiss to your palm where you’re covering his mouth. He turns back to Levi, Hange, and Erwin.
“Levi. We’re sorry. The teacher said Uranus and we thought it was funny.”
“Uranus? What the fuck is so funny about Uranus?” Levi asks.
You bite down on your cheeks to stop yourself from laughing in Levi’s face - his very angry face. Luckily enough for you, you're not the first one to break. And neither is Eren.
It’s Hange. They’re smacking the back of Levi’s back as they ask him to say it again, the four of you - Erwin having joined you - as you all goad Levi on to say it again. And you laugh so hard that by the end of it, you’re on the floor - screaming for them to stop as Eren rubs circles into your back.
Your chest twinges, as she hands the pictures back, and you tuck them back into the box.
“The success after season one of Attack on Titan was pretty tremendous. You guys essentially became house names overnight. How did that feel, especially given your background? Nepotism runs deep and heavy in what we do and you seem to be one of our only outliers, here.”
“It was horrible.”
A shocked look spreads across her face.
“I’m grateful for it all. Don’t get me wrong. But my life changed overnight. I-I went to school and I wasn’t treated as the same person anymore, by people I grew up with. There were people hanging around my school, waiting to take pictures of me, and-and anyone who had a chance of understanding me, they were all miles away. Filming.”
“Did you feel that often? Comparing yourself to your co-stars?”
“Originally, no. I-I was just happy to be there. But people, I mean. They talk. It-it kind of cemented that idea in my mind. I didn’t think it was weird that I was the only one who wasn’t filming until someone pointed it out. And-and someone always pointed these things out.” you respond.
Colt snatches the phone from your hands, an irritated look on his face as he slides it into his pocket. After a six hour phone call with your new publicist and producers - Danny and Sareen - all you could do was aimlessly scroll through social media, their words swimming through your mind as you considered your options.
“Quit reading that shit.” he says, making an effort to storm out of your room. He hangs by the door when he reaches it, his hands pressed against the frame.
You shuffle under the blanket, pulling the soft fabric over your head. And a few seconds later, Colt’s pulling it off, expression a bit softer than before.
“I-I just don’t get why you read it. What’s the point?”
“I dunno.”
He slides onto your bed, putting his cold legs next to yours under the blanket as you complain.
“In my meeting with Danny and Sareen. They-they’re the new producer and the manager that reached out to me. They were saying all this stuff about how I can’t drop the ball anymore. How if I have people paying attention to me now, I-I have to keep it going.”
Colt frowns.
“I-I don’t know how this stuff works. What does that have to do with you reading a bunch of people saying rude stuff about you online?”
“I told them I had time to decide, figure out what I want to do next. They said I should look online and reconsider. That if I want to be a triple threat, I-I should trust them.”
“Do you?”
“Yeah. They-they’re right. And they seem like the type to push me in the right direction, like Levi and Hange. I know they’ll do whatever to help me be the best. They want what I want.”
Colt shrugs. And you know he doesn’t understand.
“Let’s talk about season two. You made history this season - by being nominated for Best Actress in a Lead role among many others, becoming the most nominated actress in Institute history in one night. How did that feel? To-to do that so young?”
“That-that was a win. It came after something really, really intense for me actually. I-I had all these feelings about what it was like to be famous. Building for months. And-and I got them put into words for me right before that happened. It was kind of like going from a really low low to the highest of highs. I-Intense is the word I’d use for it.”
“Could you elaborate? On that?”
You swallow hard.
“Being famous is like living in a fishbowl. There’s-there’s glass in between you, the viewers, and me the person. And it may seem like you can see me, that you and I are the same but the glass is always between us. You enjoy on the other side, smack against the glass, sometimes even put your rods out to wring us out. We-we’re stuck there, that’s all. I realized that and found out I got nominated minutes after. But that’s this job for you. You’re at the bottom one minute and the top the next.”
Her eyes flutter down to your tattoo but she doesn’t make a point to mention it.
“Let’s discuss music now. Following winning Best Actress in a Drama Series, your impressive albums and tours started. You released your debut album, followed by lover girl, and then ribbons. This-this was an insane feat on your part - most artists take four to five years to produce albums at this pace. What motivated you during this time?”
“My manager and my producer are pushing me at every step.”
She smiles.
“That’s some support system.”
“That’s not the word I would use for it.” you respond, voice cutting.
She nods.
“That’s right. Following your last performance, rumors were flying around that you had fired Danny and Sareen, your beloved manager and producer. Is this true?”
“Yes.”
“Why, if I may ask?”
“I just told you. They were pushing me at every step.”
You sigh, looking down at your hands, knotting your fingers together. One of the first things, you could come under fire for, is talking about them, so bluntly the way you are.
“I looked up to them. My previous example from my mentors - Hange and Levi - was perfect. Almost too perfect. Because of them, because of how willing they were to support me, to defend me, I thought everyone was like that. I thought every person who was willing to be on my team was taking into account that I didn’t know much about the industry and pushing me in the right direction.”
“And that wasn’t true for them?”
You take a deep breath.
“I think they used that to their advantage. That I had a blind faith in them. That I wanted to please them, to please other people. I didn’t know that it wasn’t normal to put out three records, to do world tours that fast. I didn’t know that it was insane that I forgot to eat some days, I didn’t know that it was crazy that they were waking me up after two hours of sleep to put me to work. I-I thought that it was all part of the hustle.”
“How do you feel about it now? Having fired them?”
“I-I don’t regret what they’ve done for me. I-I am thankful to them. If anything, I’m more embarrassed of what they did make me do. Why I didn’t think twice on things they asked me to do, songs they convinced me to write.”
She looks intrigued. She knows she’s getting into the good stuff.
“Songs like?”
“London Boy.” you respond.
“That brings us to Ricky James. Are you saying that you didn’t write London Boy?”
“No. No, I wrote it. But I was asked to write it the way I did. Write a love song about him.”
“Because?”
“Press. It’ll get people to talk. People get bored of the same thing over and over again after years.” you respond, repeating Danny and Sareen’s words, about Eren.
You sigh.
“It’s embarrassing to admit that I did that. Pretend just to get people to listen to my music. I-I am ashamed of it.”
“It’s okay. We-we understand.”
“I don’t think you do.” you whisper.
You can feel the tears pricking your eyes.
“I-I regret it. It’s a horrible thing to do. Especially when, when you have real love and you give it up to pretend. And it’s humiliating to pretend, to see people coo over you and a guy you barely even know. But when you’re famous, when people are telling you this is what you have to do, when this is what everyone does, it doesn’t seem like much to give up. I-I could feel the shame crawling in my skin when I look back at it now.”
You swallow down the regret, thick in your throat.
“How so?”
“The night my album premiered, Ribbons. In the past, all my best friends, they-they’d come to listen with me. Throw me a party, press kisses to my cheeks. I turned them all down that year. It’s one thing to pretend to everyone you know. It’s another thing to do it to people who know better. Who know what you’re doing. I didn’t want to pretend in front of their faces. ”
“Speaking of that night. Could you speak on this?”
She sides the picture, the one the paparazzi took of you on the curb before Lana got to you, towards you. You pick it up and look at it - at your eyes pinched shut and your drenched hair.
“It’s simple. Ricky James started liking me. Asked me out. I said no. And then he locked me out in the rain.”
You see the discomfort spread across her face as she slides the picture back.
“I’m very sorry that happened to you. But you came out of it at the top, with your hit featuring Lana Price. Was she part of your support system during that time?”
You smile.
“Yeah.”
“Can’t sleep?”
You look up from the shelves you were currently pawing through to find Lana, rubbing her knuckles into her eyes, as she walks over to where you’re standing.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you. I just wanted water but I couldn't find the glasses.”
She smiles as she wraps her hand around your wrist and leads you to the other side of the kitchen, taking a glass out of the correct cabinet and filling it up for you. You both lean against the counter, illuminated by the fridge of the kitchen light in the dark kitchen.
And suddenly you’re crying again, wet, warm tears falling down the length of your face. At the thought of where you were four nights ago - running in the rain until she picked you up. You aggressively wipe the tears off of your cheeks as she catches on. And Lana, despite this being the second time having met you, is quick to pull you into her arms, the sweet strawberry smell of hers filling your nose.
“You smell like candy.”
“Don’t go biting me now.”
You laugh, pressing against her arms harder as your tears fall onto her shoulder, trying to muffle your sobs by clamping your mouth shut.
“Eren told me. About Colt.”
She pulls back, wiping the tears off your cheek as she talks, softly.
“You’ll get better at doing this. Protecting them. I can almost guarantee it.” she says, giving you a smile.
“How do you know?”
“Because I did it. Which means you can too.” she responds, placing her glass of water in your hands.
“It’s not that simple.”
“Yes, it is. I’ll help you. Eren will help you.” she responds.
“You’re already doing enough for me. Both of you. I’m intruding on your house right now.”
You feel two hands, warm, around your neck, accompanied with a light squeeze. And then Eren, his voice still raspy from sleep, whispering in your ear.
“Y/N.”
“Yeah?” you whisper.
“Say that again and I’ll kill you. What’s mine is yours.” he responds, sliding his hands off of you as he pushes the fridge door closed and opens the light.
Lana groans.
“God. Would it kill you to put a shirt on, ugly?”
“Would it kill you to brush your hair, you hag? Or maybe not wake me up in the middle of the night?”
“That wasn’t even me. Y/N woke up first!”
“It was your croaking that woke me up, Lana. You sound like a toad.” he mutters.
You laugh, which breaks the two of them out of their argument, and has soft smiles spreading across both of their faces.
“You guys are like siblings.”
Lana comes over, hands cupping your face.
“My sweet, sweet Y/N. Please don’t insult me.”
And then Eren’s behind you, arms slithering around your waist, his voice warm in your ear again.
“That’s the meanest thing you’ve ever said to me, princess.”
“Quit flirting, Eren. You’re such a manwhore.” Lana says.
“Princess was her nickname on set, dumbass. Because she’s a pop princess. I’m not flirting.” Eren responds,
“Wow. So you’re too good to flirt with Y/N. You think you’re better than her?”
“What?” Eren asks, leaning off of you.
Catching on to what Lana’s trying to do, you turn around and look at Eren, trying to hide your coy expression.
“Do you really think that, Eren?”
His eyes go wide, hands on your shoulders.
“No! No, oh my god! I don’t think I’m better than you. If anything, you-you’re better than me. I’ll flirt with you all you want. I swear!”
You and Lana stare him down for a few seconds before you burst out laughing, a pink spreading across Eren’s cheek as he grumbles, an irritated look on his face as he shoves past Lana.
“You guys are annoying. I’m going back to bed.”
“Aw, Eren! Come back! Flirt with her!” Lana says, teasing him on.
“Don’t stay down here too, Y/N. You’re going to lose brain cells.” he murmurs, shuffling away.
You turn back to Lana, who's filling your glass with water again. She has a soft smile on her face, eyes warm as she hands you the water.
“This type of stuff…it really helps.” she says.
“This type of stuff?”
“Good people. Who want to take care of you. Make you laugh after you cry, all that cheesy stuff.”
You hum, leaning against the counter again.
“Lean on Eren. Don’t get so jumbled up on what it means and how he’s feeling because he just wants to be there for you.” she says.
“I’m trying to. I guess I just feel bad.”
“I would have benefited a lot from someone like Eren, if I knew him when I was younger. When I was-”
You quirk your head to the side, beckoning for her to elaborate.
“For the longest time, I thought that this is just how guys were. Assholes. Dicks. That it was a matter of finding one who was relatively nice, good enough. That real guys, they’re never like this.”
You frown.
“My dad was an asshole. Ricky was horrible. My brother was the only person who was nice to me but we just- we lived so far and with the jobs and stuff we grew apart. And when I had to deal with things on my own, things I was too young to even understand, I-”
She pauses. Swallowing hard.
“I would have benefitted from knowing Eren earlier. Guys like Eren, like your friends Jean and Marco. Eren’s helped with a lot of my shame and made me better. I-I owe a lot to him really. I know we said what we said earlier, but he is like my brother. He’s always protected me. Overwhelmed me with kindness under insults.”
You smile.
“He’s a good guy. Always has been.” you whisper, heart warm at Eren being Eren, still.
“So let him. Overwhelm you with kindness. Be there for you. You have no reason to be ashamed. And every reason to be scared. Quit feeling bad and just let him. He’s the person you’re comfortable with here.”
You smile, leaning your head against your shoulder.
“Dunno. You’re pretty cool too.”
She laughs.
“Yeah?”
“You know what would be cool. If you guys went to bed.” Eren says, shuffling into the room again.
Lana groans.
“All men have is the audacity. You just ruined a really sweet moment.”
You smile at Eren, which he returns.
“Can Lana sleep with us?”
He stops smiling.
“Huh?”
“You sleep on the left and she can sleep on my right!” you respond.
“Y/N.” he whines.
“Please? It’ll be like a sleepover. I can’t have bad things on my mind before I go to bed if you’re both there.”
“No thanks, sweet girl.” Lana says.
“I’m trying to lean on you guys! Give in.” you respond.
They both groan as they agree, the three of you shuffling towards Eren’s room. You settle straight into the middle of Eren’s bed, as they both shuffle around - loudly talking in Eren’s bathroom.
“Ew, Eren. Why did you just kiss my cheek? I’m not Y/N, idiot.”
“That was for you, Lana Bear!”
“What pervert spirit possessed you at this time of night? And you know how I feel about that nickname after what Hyla said to me at dinner, so shut up.”
“I didn’t mean it like that, Lana. And I just wanted you to know I love you too. You’re like a sister to me.”
You hear Lana smack Eren.
“Were you eavesdropping? Asshole. I was lying. None of it was true.”
“Okay, Lana. Sure thing.”
“I’m serious!”
You shake the memory from your head, as you pull out the picture for her to see, one of you and Lana that Eren took. You’re both on his couch, your hands tangled in the bowl of popcorn - glaring at the camera. Eren was blocking your rewatch of High School Musical.
“Speaking of support systems, one of your most talked about relationships is that with your co-star, Historia Reiss. After seemingly dropping songs about each other and making up and breaking up, there’s a lot of speculation on what happened. Anything to share?”
You smile.
“Historia and I are friends. And friendship is complicated. You just got to witness ours first hand, that’s all. Everything between us - it’s water under the bridge, if there ever even was one. We’re just really similar and we butt heads. We still love each other at the end of the day.” you say.
“Well that’s lovely to hear. How about Ryomen Sukuna? The two of you are all anyone talks about these days, especially after how cozy you two were on the red carpet.”
You snort. And pull out the polaroid - of you and Sukuna, of him kissing your cheek at the awards show. And in the background, Nobara and Maki are pretending to gag.
“We’re not dating. And we won’t ever. We’re just really good friends.”
“Friends kiss each other on red carpets?”
“These ones do!” you respond, smiling.
She laughs, nodding as you tuck the picture back into the box. She swallows hard, rubbing her hands against her palms as she asks her next question. The one you know she’s been itching to ask.
“Look. We’ve talked about your career at great length - all but caught up to the night that you became a triple threat. But there’s one person that we haven’t discussed yet, maybe brought up in passing but haven’t broached. Who I think is relevant.”
You smile.
“Eren.”
“Eren.” she repeats, nodding.
“What do you want to know?”
“I mean, everything. How did it feel to know that you finally got him back for what he did to you, the way he dragged your career through the mud. I mean you basically had him hanging his head between his knees by the end of the night, after you ended him. Throwing his relationship with his brother in his face, the songs you wrote, I mean- that. That has to be liberating. To do all that and come out as a triple threat at the end.”
You can feel the tears spilling down your cheeks as you take your last picture out, one of you and Eren at Levi and Hange’s vow renewal. You’re leaning your head on your palm, looking up at him as he smiles down at you. And you swallow the hiccups as you respond.
“In what world did that night seem liberating to you? Making a joke out of the love I shared with someone? I sobbed my way through the entire last song. Didn’t even make a speech. In what world was that liberating?”
You see the shock spread across her face.
“I just thought-”
You smile.
“Since we were fifteen, all people have done is speculate about me and Eren. Are we dating? Are we in love? Are we real? Are we faking? And therein lies the issue, because I think the people, the fame - it came between something really real.”
She stops, nodding.
“Something real? Are you telling us that Eren Jaeger lied in his interview?”
“I don’t know his truth. Maybe it was fake for him. But I was there too.....And it was real for me.”
You look down at the picture, fiddling with it in your hands.
“I-I’d like to sing my song, if I could. I-I think it’ll help explain how I feel.” you say.
She nods, gesturing to the piano. You sit at the seat, sneaking out the vinyl sleeve from the inside of the bench and pull it out. The album cover is a picture of the cast from season one of Attack on Titan. You and Eren are front and center, smiling at each other instead of the camera, everyone’s heads going in different directions. Jean and Mikasa are looking at something to the left and pointing, Ymir is smiling at Historia who is disgusted at Connie and Sasha plugging their fingers in each other's nose.
“This is my fourth and final studio album, called The Lucky One. And this is my first song on the record, called happiness.”
You brace your hands against the keys, playing the tune into the air as you sing. The feeling sits deep in your chest. Your realization was simple. That Historia’s statement - that your Eren wasn’t the Eren that existed anymore - is true. You just chose to focus on the wrong part of it.
You loved Eren and he made you happy. He burned you down, hurt you in the way that only he knew how, but loved you, made you whole in only the way he could too. There's a deep hurt.
But there was great happiness. It’s why you forgive him. Why you choose to move forward, and hold whatever love you did have close.
Past the blood and bruise
Past the curses and cries
Beyond the terror in the nightfall
Haunted by the look in my eyes
That would've loved you for a lifetime
Leave it all behind
And there is happiness
There is happiness
In our history
Across our great divide
There is a glorious sunrise
Dappled with the flickers of light
From the dress I wore at midnight
Leave it all behind
Oh, leave it all behind
Leave it all behind
And there is happiness
You wipe the tears off of your face as you turn back towards the camera.
“Eren Jaeger is the love of my life. He’s everything you want in the person you want to spend the rest of your life with and more. He’s kind, he’s sensitive, he’s all too willing to understand you. Too willing to meet you where you are, as you are, and look past all the bad parts of you.”
You stifle your sob, the tears pouring out of your eyes. You glance back at the picture of you and Eren at the piano. And the memory sticks out in your head.
“I love you.”
You look over at Eren, his green eyes gentle and heartfelt as he takes your hand and squeezes three times.
“Eren, you-”
“I love you. The three squeezes - that’s what they’ve always meant.” he whispers, his hand warm in yours as me mimics the motion you’ve done a hundred times.
You swallow hard.
“Eren Jaeger is the love in the room. He gives people a chance, even when he shouldn’t. He’s supportive, so incessantly adamant about his belief in you, that you believe in yourself too. He loves hard, he loves soft, and everything in between.”
“He’s the best person I’ve ever met. Until he wasn’t anymore. And I-I don’t know what they did to him. If they pumped him full of drugs, if they told him something about this industry that I’m unaware of, if-if it was something about me. But this Eren Jaeger, so full of love that it was almost spilling out of him, doesn’t exist anymore. He was real. But he’s not like this anymore.”
You swallow hard.
“This career, the way we live in our fishbowl. It-it’s so cruel. You all enjoyed watching me ruin him. You all enjoyed watching him ruin me. You liked that we spent our entire lives loving each other and maybe loved it even more when it came crashing down. It was interesting to speculate on, to talk about. You saw the softest love in us. In him. And then gutted it out of him like he was a fish.”
You take a deep breath.
“And with that, I quit.”
The interviewer sits up, hand on your shoulder at the piano bench as the shock spreads across her face.
“You’re quitting music?”
“I’m quitting all of it. I don’t want anything to do with this. You already got to have him. You don’t get to have me too.”
You give her a smile as you turn to the camera, before walking straight off of the set and into the waiting room outside.
--
You sit on the bench outside, swinging your legs as you watch the people around you move. They’re all rushing to air the tape, which you expected. And making flash copies of the vinyl you gifted them, getting ready to post them online as the interview goes out.
Figures.
The only person who comes to your side is Leila.
“HI.” you say, cheeks burning from the tears and your eyes swollen.
She hands you the blue box, the one they hid behind the couch at the start, and shakes her head.
You give her a strange look as you open up the box, filled with a large stack of letters. You reach for the one at the top, opening the pages to find Eren’s messy handwriting scribbled on the pages.
Dear The Institute (I don’t know if you’re a person or like someone specific I’m just writing a letter to the address Levi gave me),
My name is Eren Jaeger. I’m fifteen, the son of Carla and Grisha Jaeger. I’m going to be in a new show called Attack on TItan. But that’s not why I’m writing to you. I want to tell you about my friend, my best friend.
Her name is Y/N L/N. She’s going to be my co-star in the show. You haven’t heard of her yet but I promise you won’t forget her.
And I’ll make sure you won’t. Because I’m telling you now, she’s the next big thing. And you’re going to make her a triple threat.
I’ll spend this entire time convincing you until you do. But she’s amazing. It won’t take much.
You will hear from me again,
Eren Jaeger
You pull another page out, opening up the crinkled pages, the block sitting in your throat.
Hi (Can you tell me your name? It feels weird to call you The Institute. Like that’s almost dystopian.)
It’s Eren, again. Y/N is going to perform her song, New Year’s Day at the award show tomorrow. It’s her first one and it’s perfect. Like genuinely, who the fuck makes a hit song on the first try?
And even after making something great, she’s trying to be better. She doesn’t like to play the piano, but she tries anyway. Every time I try to teach her, she’s hanging on the ends of my words, trying over and over again until she’s satisfied.
She works very hard. I’m asking you to not overlook that.
See you soon (and when’s your birthday? We’re basically becoming friends at this point.)
Eren Jaeger
You flip the pages, again.
Good morning/good afternoon/good evening (covering all my bases, I don’t know where you live),
Now, don’t start discrediting what I’m saying as biased because of the rumors.
Granted, they are true. I adore Y/N with my entire heart. I love her with every fiber of my being. But that doesn’t discredit any of her work or how I’m vouching for it. Because she truly is amazing.
Her new movie is coming out on Saturday and her album on Sunday. Quit being assholes and give her this award already.
She deserves it. Really.
My deepest apologies (for calling you assholes and for bothering you all these years),
Eren Jaeger
And again.
Hi,
We broke up. And we don’t really talk much anymore. But the fact that I’m still writing this to you should be proof enough for you to at least CONSIDER her as a triple threat.
Like seriously. We aren’t even dating and I’m still raving about her work (because it’s that good).
Her new movie comes out soon.
She is all things great. The sun, the moon, the stars and everything in between. The light in the dark, every cheesy thing you can think of.
Art is a reflection of who you are. And her art has always been the best.
For the love of god, give in already,
Eren Jaeger.
And the last one, despite being the shortest one, is what hurts the most. Dated for the day after the awards show, what you assume is barely hours after Eren was sobbing during your performance.
Dear The Institute,
Thank you for listening. And for making her dream come true.
Best,
Eren Jaeger
You hold the letters close to your chest as you cry into the box, nearly twenty or thirty pages you still haven’t read. Of Eren, his messy handwriting, and his endless love for you.
His words ring in your mind. They don’t make any sense and none of it does. You didn’t have any faith in me like I did you. Your parents weren’t famous and you had no ins. I have to do something to offset that if you’re my co-star. I’m not lying to you when I’m trying to make you feel better or tell you that you’re great. Maybe Hange and Levi are, but I’m not. I’ve always thought you were great.
You sit up from the bench and walk out the door with the box in your hand. You find Falco and Colt standing on the curb against the car, soft smiles on their faces as they push you into the car. And take you where no one gets to touch you, suck you dry, push you too hard, take what you love most away from you ever again.
Your most haunted memory sticks out to you as you drive away. As you feel the physical weight of this life be left behind on that piano and let him go.
The waves continue to crash, Eren’s hand raking through your fingers as you both look up at the moon, shining above you.
“Y/N.”
“Yes, Eren?”
“Have you ever been skinny dipping?”
You curl your nose in disgust.
“When would I have time to go skinny dipping, Eren? And if I did, you would have known.”
Eren turns on his side, a bright smile on his face.
“Let’s do it.”
“What?”
“Skinny dipping.”
“Eren. Quit being ridiculous.”
He rolls his eyes.
“I just turned twenty-two. Like fifteen minutes ago. I am the pinnacle of seriousness.” he states, putting on his best Erwin-like tone.
“Eren.”
“Come on. It’s like a quintessential experience. We don’t get those - prom, memorizing your crush’s classes and waiting outside them, going on a date in the city. Let’s do this one.”
You nod as you both trudge to the shore, hands locked together as you quickly lose your clothes and run into the water, biting cold against your skin. The Seattle cold does nothing to help, the two of you shivering in each other's arms as you hold each other in the water.
“Ttt-this was a sss-stuppid idea, Er-rren.” you shiver, glaring at him.
“It-it’s ff-un.” he responds.
You groan as he pulls you into his arms, your face flat against his neck as you guys hug in the water. You can feel his heart beating under your ear and you pull back to find him smiling at you, his hair matted against his forehead. You reach forward and push it out of his eyes.
“Thanks.” he whispers.
You nod, giving him a smile. He’s all but grinning at you, the smile on his face so big that it’s throwing you off.
“Eren. What?”
“Nothing. You.”
“Me?”
He nods, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
“Just trying to remember this moment. You and me - being real people.”
“You sound like a crazy person.”
“You’re not a pop star. I’m not an actor. You’re Y/N and I’m Eren. We’re skinny dipping. And I love you.”
You turn your head to the side, confused by his sentiment all together.
It makes sense to you now.
--
Almost a year and a half later and you’re nervously running your sweaty hands against the pleats of your black dress. You half debate walking in, even though you flew all this way. If there’s still a place for you in this townhouse, even though you all but grew up here.
You can hear a loud chatter on the inside, voices talking over each other as you think hard, every regret of yours running through your mind. You wonder if they replaced you already, if your doppelganger is walking around in there.
As always, this is what brings you back to them. All of them. And you hate it. Because as always, they are the only ones who understand. They are the only ones who feel it too.
You’re fish. On the same side of the glass, separated from everyone else.
You supposed that’s what it does to people. That being fish, to some extent, was something everyone related to - not just you and Eren, Mikasa and Jean, everyone else who was famous.
This tears down things that were a resolute fact - bringing you to places you never thought you’d return, to people you didn’t think you would ever need anymore. A fishbowl - separating you from everyone else on one side of the glass, with everyone else - normal and whole - on the outside.
Fame can do that to people. But grief can too.
The news clip rings in your head.
.
.
.
Marco Bodt, best known for his time as a recurring character in the drama series Attack on Titan, died on Friday, five days short of his twenty-fourth birthday.
You brace yourself and knock on the door of the townhouse. Eren’s the one who answers.
--
next part linked here
an: lol. so does "passed down like folk songs, the love lasts so long" still apply if he's dead....thoughts? also the lucky one tracklist
taglist: @k0z3me @kayleegomez @yihona-san06 @bsenpai @sweetenertea @mykyoon @violetmatcha @rebeccawinters @cutiejg @bokutosthings @bookwrmm @mblrrr @wheredidmycrowngo @somethinginyoureyes7 @chilichopsticks @okaystopwhore @you-always-made-me-blush @itzmeme @firelordazulaaaa @whoami-72 @g-ghostly @intimacywithceline @erensmoodygf @cocomellxn @princess-ackerman @jaegerfiles @cacapeepee @squirrelspoetry @rui-0836 @moonmalice @invisible-mori @sofiasber @bbybeeb @timetobegone @tee4str @ttokki2 @leave-rae-alone @ec3lipsy @officialsimpp @gojojang @yookayyo @lordbugs @multiplefandomthings @iobeyfandoms @camilo-uwu @justanotherkpopstanlo l@mel-star636 @fvckingeetar @ttalgi
#seeingivywrites!#method acting#eren#eren x you#eren x reader#eren x y/n#eren jaeger#eren jaeger x you#eren jaeger x reader#eren jaeger x y/n#eren yeager#eren yeager x you#eren yeager x reader#eren yeager x y/n#actor eren#actor eren x you#actor eren x reader#actor eren x y/n#aot actor au#aot#aot x you#aot x reader#aot x y/n#snk#snk x you#snk x reader#snk x y/n#eren angst
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HOLLYWOOD'S DEAD ; JEAN KIRSTEIN
Y/n and Jean seemed like the average Hollywood couple. They showed up to every event together, flaunted each other on social media, and had a group of people who were always wondering what would happen with them. They left average couples frowning jealously at their phone screens, and kept fans constantly reading articles on their current relationship status. They were what every couple wanted to be.
But they were never quite what they seemed.
Their entire relationship was built off a lie. The promise of a boost in their careers was what had brought them together. There was no love between the two of them. At least, not at first. Jean Kirstein was a prick; a known womanizer with an ego taller than himself. Y/n hated it. Hated him. It was only temporary, she would remind herself. There were no real feelings involved. No reason to be intimate or grow too close.
Yet she still found herself doing it, no matter how hard she tried to fight it off.
Pairing: jean kirstein x reader
Word Count: currently n/a
BEWARE
This book contains foul language, trauma, dark humor, mentions of sexualization (NO SMUT), eating disorders && familial issues.
I can also be found on wattpad && ao3, where chapters for this will be released first, and where you can find updates! <3
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Chapter One: first draft ; actual chapter will be out within 2 weeks!
#attack on titan#aot#jean#jean kirstein#jean x reader#jean kirstein x reader#jean fanfic#jean kirstein fanfic#aot x reader#attack on titan x reader#aot actor au#actor au jean#actor jean kirstein#jean is an asshole lol#slowburn#enemies to lovers#y/n actually hates jean with a burning passion#singer y/n#y/n is amazing and perfect and i love her#eren jaeger#armin arlert#mikasa ackerman#reiner braun#connie springer#sasha braus#marco bodt#bertholdt hoover#annie leonhart#annie leonhardt#porco galliard
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It's A Wrap!
Working on Attack on Titan as a makeup artist has irreversibly changed your life. As the end rapidly approaches, you find that letting go is harder than you’d thought. After years of harbouring feelings for Levi that you can’t divulge, his final day on set arrives. You know it’s time to say goodbye to him and part ways—but maybe you don’t have to.
Pairing: Levi Ackerman x GN!Reader
Tags & warnings: Actor!Levi, Makeup artist!Reader, fluff, confessions, friends/idiots to lovers, alcohol consumption, briefly implied sexual content, AOT finale spoilers
Word count: 6.9k words
A/N: I’m back, happy Levi month everyone! I wrote this over the last month to cope with the fact AOT was ending and also life stuff. This is incredibly self indulgent, also I would love to tell more stories and scenarios in this AU, so this probably won’t be the last one-shot I write for actor!Levi and MUA!Reader hehehe. Disclaimer that I don't work in film or TV or makeup, sorry if there are any inaccuracies. Also please forgive me for the uncreative title, lol. Hope you enjoy the fic!
Levi’s last day on set is bittersweet.
For the final time, you lean against the wall and count down the seconds on your watch. The trailer door swings open to reveal the man of the hour. On par for the course, Levi arrives fifteen minutes on the dot before his scheduled arrival time. He’s holding his usual steaming flask of tea in one hand, with a nondescript rucksack (save for a Badtz-Maru keychain gifted to him from the Sanrio collaboration) slung over his shoulder.
“Hey,” you greet him, pushing off from the wall, moving towards him like a moth to flame. He sets down his things in the sitting area and meets you halfway, letting you pull him into your arms. After years of working alongside each other, you’ve both grown accustomed to greeting each other like this in private, especially after the stress the two of you had put yourselves under during the Season 3 shoots.
“How are you feeling? It’s your last day.” You ask him as the two of you part. To your dismay, you’re already missing the warmth of his embrace.
“I’m fine. I’m not going to get all sappy about it.” His face is placid.
“That’s what Hange said when they filmed their death scene, and we saw how that ended,” you say lightheartedly. Hange had sworn to remain jovial and upbeat throughout their last day, but after seeing the several other actors cry at their phenomenal acting, they had promptly broken down. “And I bet you anything that Eren’s going to say that when he and Mikasa do the cabin scene next week, and we all know he’ll be the first to start crying and the last to stop.”
Levi rolls his eyes before he enters the wardrobe area, but you know he’s not serious. “If you think I’m going to break down in tears like Hange and the kids did, you’re dead wrong,” he continues, out of sight.
You smile. “Sure. It’s alright, you know, if you do end up crying. It’s an end of an era, we’re all going to get emotional.”
A few moments later, Levi emerges in costume, sans the bandages. He sits down in front of the mirror at the vanity table. “Yes, but I’m satisfied with what I’ve done here, and I have no regrets,” he muses out loud, continuing on from before. “And it’s not like I’m done with the show. There’s the wrap party, then the press tour and all that. So don’t expect me to get all worked up today. I’m not saying goodbye to Attack on Titan just yet.” His voice softens towards the end.
But it is goodbye for us, you wish to say. And I don’t want it to be. You haven’t been contracted for any of their press events. After you finish with Attack on Titan, you’ll have a handful of weeks before your upcoming contract for a new show begins. It’s a wonderful opportunity; the show is airing on a major streaming service and requires you to push your SFX skills to the limit. Sasha had been cast in one of the main roles and both Onyankopon and Nifa will make appearances too, so you’ll see some familiar faces on this new project. But selfishly, you aren’t ready to let go and move forward. Selfishly, you aren’t ready to part ways with Levi.
Sure, the two of you will make an effort to talk every now and then. You know him far better than to assume he’ll stop talking to you the moment Attack on Titan is finished; despite him being standoffish at first, it’s clear Levi cares deeply about everybody he’s ever worked with, cast or crew alike. But the chances of your demanding schedules ever lining up again are close to zero, and sooner or later, your frequent messages will fizzle out into a conversation lost to the ages. You’ll drift, until the two of you are strangers once more. It’s inevitable; you’ve seen it happen before with your actor friends from old projects. No doubt it’ll happen again.
You consider addressing the elephant in the room, wondering if it lingers on his mind, too. But instead, you hum in agreement and pass him a headband to hold his hair out of the way. He puts it on, clearly content to not bring it up just yet.
Levi chews on the inside of his cheek as you sort out your equipment on the vanity table. Your eyes are immediately drawn to his lips, which are a little more chapped than usual. It’s clear there is something else that’s bothering him, but you decide to let it go for now. Sometimes Levi just needs to sit with his thoughts for a moment. You’ve learned that being pushed just makes him close himself off even more. A life in the limelight can be unforgiving. Kuchel Ackerman had been the brightest star of her generation, but behind the scenes, her personal life was far from glamorous. It doesn’t surprise you that her son keeps his heart and feelings well-guarded.
As he sits and stews, you apply chapstick and some basic ‘barely-there’ makeup on his face, before creating the illusion of a hard-fought battle by adding a light layer of grime to his face. You’ll add more after the scar and bandages. As you work, Levi takes out a folder from his bag, which is embellished with a small cat sticker that Hange had stuck on years ago. From it, he takes his copy of the script, nary a crease in the sheets. Brow furrowed, he reads it over and over, mouthing his lines with the fervour of a prayer.
Now, that is odd.
“There is something on your mind, isn’t there?” You’ve also read the script for today’s scene. The director had decided to save Levi’s most poignant scene—where his character salutes the ghosts of his fallen comrades—for the very end of his shoot. (Levi’s epilogue scene had been shot a week prior.) This would be his most challenging scene yet, for it would be the first time he and his character will ever cry on screen. “You can tell me if you want. Anything you need to help you focus. There’s still time.” You give him a quick squeeze on his shoulder.
Stormy eyes glance up at his reflection, than up at yours. He puts down the script and sighs, voice subdued. “I just want to do the Captain’s ending justice, and I don’t think I can.”
“I think you can,” you murmur. You gesture for him to close his eyes, and pick up your finest brush. Willing your hand and heart into steadiness, you bring the brush up to his forehead, where the largest scar begins. You’ll never get used to how infuriatingly gorgeous he is. “No. I know you can. There is no doubting just how much you care about portraying him correctly.”
He swallows. “Well, I’ve never cried on camera before.” He stops, giving you a moment to work.
With the utmost care, you begin to draw the main line of the largest scar, the one that passes through his eye and lips. As the brush passes over his eyelid, it twitches ever so slightly, his long lashes tickling your hand. Smiling, you brush away a stray lash that had fallen onto his cheek. As you extend the line down his cheek, you try to reassure him. Levi’s usually so steadfast, but it makes sense that something like this would grow heavy on his mind.
“You’ve been practicing it with your coach, though, right? I mean, I’ve had to cover up your swollen eyes a number of times this season.”
“Yeah. Thanks for that, by the way.”
“Don’t mention it.”
The brush reaches his lips. He opens his eyes, looking up at you through lowered lashes. Your heart aflutter, you staunchly ignore any and all thoughts of kissing him. Doing so has become more and more difficult with every passing day. Especially when every now and then, you think you see him glancing down at your lips whenever you lean in close to examine a detail of your work.
It’s more than likely that you’re imagining it, though.
Finally, the brush reaches his chin, finishing the outline of the first scar. You lean back to admire your work. After many instances of painstakingly painting on the scars and agonising over continuity, you don’t have to look at your old reference pictures to know the exact shape and curve of them, down to the millimetre. But you do so anyway, and smile in satisfaction when you compare today’s line to the pictures from the first time you drew them on him for practice. A perfect match.
“I know you’ve been working hard at it,” you continue assuring him, putting down the reference photos. “You’ve definitely come a long way.”
“Yeah, but I’m shit at it, actually. All those times we joked about how Eren would take forever to conjure a single tear every time he needed to cry, and now here I am in the exact same position. He’s going to rub this in my face should he ever find out.” He chews the inside of his cheek again, looking down. “Damn it. Don’t know what’s wrong with me today. I’m not… I don’t get nervous. I don’t show up to work feeling unprepared. That isn’t me. But today, it is.”
It’s unsettling, to see him so unsure of himself. His nerves are understandable, as he came into the show with more of a stuntman background and little actual acting experience. But anybody who’s worked alongside him could easily tell you just how dedicated he is to improving his craft, and that nobody else could play the Captain with the same quiet subtleties that Levi brings to the screen.
You hope your smile is somewhat reassuring to him. “And that’s okay. You know, crying on command really isn’t easy. I’ve worked with countless actors and many also find it difficult.” In your experience, most actors need a while to work themselves up to cry. The most obvious exception is Armin, who has the unnerving ability to turn it on and off like a light switch. “For you, all you need to do is make one tear out of one eye. You’ve managed to do that before, right?”
He nods, but the firm clench of his jaw and the crease between his brows don’t fade.
“So, it’s nothing that you haven’t practiced. And on the off chance that you can’t do it today, that’s perfectly fine. I have eyedrops in my bag.”
“Yeah, but…” He shakes his head in frustration. “This is going to sound dumb, but it… I don’t know, that feels like cheating. I know you’re thinking I’m being an idiot, and I probably am. I know eyedrops are common practice. It’s just… This is my character’s last moment before the epilogue, and I want it to be real. I don’t want to take the easy way out.”
“No, it’s not stupid. There’s no shame in needing to use eyedrops if you end up not being able to cry today, but it’s really admirable that you want to do it as authentically as possible. I think that since this is your final scene, and so many people are returning this morning, it’ll be easier than usual to muster up those tears.” Reaching for a set of different brushes and paint, you instruct him, “here’s what we’re going to do. I need you to just listen whilst I do the rest of your scars. I don’t want you to get trapped in your head about this, okay? Overthinking will just make it harder to get into character. Isn’t that what you said to Mikasa all those years back? It worked wonders for her. I often forget that this show was her first ever gig, with how good she’s become.”
He scoffs. “Really? You’re using my own words against me?”
“Well, what use is your own advice if you can’t follow it yourself?”
After a moment of hesitation, Levi sighs in defeat and closes his eyes again. “Shit, you’re relentless. Fine, then. I’ll trust you.”
You get to work, drawing the outlines of the second scar parallel to the first, then the smaller ones on his other cheek. As you add in the details, such as the texture of the stitches, you remind Levi of another story that he himself told you. He’d never worked with horses before being cast in this show, and yet was one of the quickest learners. Unsurprisingly so, since he’s incredibly kinaesthetically intelligent. To this day, the cast insists he looks the most at ease atop a horse, only second to Erwin, who actually used to ride in his childhood. You remind him that every single time, his hard work has more than paid off.
Somewhere down the line, you go off topic. Levi makes no move to stop you. In fact, he seems content just to listen to you talk about anything, everything. As the wounds take shape on his face, you reminisce on anecdotes from set, on the time the two of you spent together. With fondness, you recall your first meeting. Back then, you were an lowly assistant on the SFX team, transforming an unassuming man into the wounded soldier who, in his dying moments, listened to the Captain’s vow to eradicate the titans and bring meaning to his sacrifice. You talk about how the two of you grew closer during the filming of the second season, when Levi had a lot more free time to talk. How difficult the third season had been to film due to both of you being spread thin by additional responsibilities.
You skim over that time Levi mentioned you in an interview when asked about a favourite memory on set, and how warm it made you feel. You don’t talk about how you’d genuinely teared up after watching the final cut of the scene where Hange discovers a half-dead Levi by the riverbank, despite knowing that his ‘injuries’ were nothing more than your own handiwork.
And, with your heart clenching painfully, you certainly don’t dare to bring up the almost-kiss at last year’s cast and crew Halloween party.
———
“Cut! Perfect! Aaand that’s a wrap for Levi!”
The set erupts into thunderous applause. You clap heartily alongside the rest of the cast and crew. A deafening symphony of whoops and cheers fills the air, and if not for the growing lump in your throat, you’d join in too.
A standing ovation. Levi deserves it and more. Just as you expected, every angle the director wanted to capture had needed one take each, not a single one more. No eyedrops needed.
From your position, you can see Levi still sitting by the rock. Strangely, he makes no move to get up. Curious as to why, you peer past some crew members that had moved in the way, but you’re greeted with a sight that pulls at your heartstrings. Your eyes sting with new tears.
Curled up by the rock, Levi has his face buried in his hands, his shoulders heaving with quiet sobs.
Something in your chest aches. You knew that he would get emotional at the end—there was no way he wouldn’t, especially considering that his character cried too—but you didn’t expect him to feel so overwhelmed.
On instinct, your feet propel you towards him, but you’re promptly cut off by a few other crew members moving around. Through your rapidly blurring vision, you can only watch as several of the returning cast members rush forward from the smoke. Hange reaches him first, and pulls him into a bone-crushing hug. Erwin is second, kneeling next to the duo and rubbing Levi’s back comfortingly.
Sniffling, you quickly wipe away your tears, remembering suddenly that you still have something to do. Unnoticed, you slip away from set.
There is a tradition amongst the cast that whenever a character dies, the actor receives a bouquet of flowers from the cast and crew. (A size limit had to be enforced after a very emotional Gabi had presented Sasha with a bouquet so large it couldn’t fit through the trailer door.) For this final season, the tradition has expanded to gifting the actor a bouquet when they wrap, for the characters that survive all the way to the very end.
The door to Connie’s trailer is unlocked when you arrive, just as he said it would be. Inside, you find a vase full of vibrantly coloured flowers on the kitchenette counter in the exact spot where you’d left it earlier this morning. Several weeks ago, the cast and crew had all nominated you to put in the order for the bouquet and present it to Levi on his final day, and Connie had offered to help you hide it from Levi until it was time. Careful to not drip water all over the floor, you pick up the flowers and jog back to set.
The fog machines are being carried out by the time you return. You immediately scan the set for Levi, but it seems he has been completely buried under a massive group hug with the veterans cast, no doubt Hange’s doing. You can’t help but smile at the sight. Most of the crew members appear to be taking a break before clean-up, as it is the end of the day. The air is filled with chatter, but a hush descends upon the crowd as you approach.
The actors peel away from the hug one by one. A smiling Petra helps Levi get to his feet. The bandages on his face are halfway unravelled. With one hand, he yanks them off, leaving both of his eyes to gaze at you unobstructed, ablaze with an intense emotion you can’t quite place. With his other hand, he quickly wipes away the half-dried tears on his cheeks.
“On behalf of the cast and crew,” you say hoarsely, “I give you these.” You step forward and present him the bouquet. “It’s been an honour. Thank you for everything, Levi.”
His fingers gently graze yours as he takes the flowers from you. Tenderly, he holds them close to his chest.
“I was wondering where you went just now,” he says. Of course he’d noticed. “Should’ve known you’d be the one to give me this…” His voice wavers towards the end. He scoffs and wipes at his eyes. “And to think I was done blubbering like a baby. Damn it. You were right.”
He pulls you into a hug without a second thought.
———
Somehow, you’ve been roped into taking photos for everyone. Levi unwraps the bandages around his hand before he begins. He first takes a photo with the director and producer, who both thanking him dearly. They part with a handshake. Almost immediately after, the cast members of the Alliance, along with Eren and Zeke, all swarm forward for a big group photo. They’d all come to watch in support, even if several of them weren’t scheduled to come in today. Connie confesses that he’d helped hide the bouquet by letting you into his trailer. Levi makes a light-hearted remark that he should’ve figured that out too, considering Connie also helped hide Hange’s bouquet—which Levi himself had been responsible for ordering and retrieving.
The veteran actors come forward next. Fitting them all into the camera frame was a challenge, but you manage to do it after one of your makeup assistants finds you a stool. Somehow, Erwin manages to persuade Levi into doing the Scout salute with the rest of them. (“I just did it in the scene, though… Fine, I’ll indulge in your corniness for today, you dorks.”) When he presses his fist to his chest one last time, the veterans erupt into cheers.
Hange and Erwin both stay back for a little longer. The trio pose for more photos, all grinning widely, though you decide to put a stop to the mini-photoshoot when Hange attempts to pick Levi up bridal-style and almost drops him.
(“When I said ‘put me down’, I didn’t mean for you to drop me with no fucking warning!”
“I didn’t mean to drop you. Besides, I caught you, didn’t I? You’re fine, see?”)
After that fiasco, Levi asks to take one with the original Special Ops Squad, as it had been years since they’d managed to meet up.
Zeke comes back for another photo, slipping one arm around Levi’s shoulders. As you meet the taller man’s eyes over the top of his phone, he winks mischievously, holding two fingers up in bunny ears above Levi’s unsuspecting head. Say nothing, he mouths to you. With a herculean effort, you suppress your laugh. Zeke has made it his personal mission to photobomb every main cast member from the finale. After months of shooting, Levi is the last one standing, and it’s incredibly entertaining how hard Zeke tries to finish his mission, even now.
“Hand down, Zeke.”
“Damn it, how did you know?”
“You’re about as subtle as Reiner is when he pretends he hasn’t broken a prop.”
Zeke laughs. “Nothing gets past you, Levi, does it?”
As the two continue to playfully bicker, more jokes than actual verbal barbs, you open the photo you’d managed to take split seconds before Levi called Zeke out. “Mission accomplished,” you say, and a delighted Zeke reaches over Levi’s head to high-five you. Looking mildly betrayed, Levi whips his head back around to face you.
You grin sheepishly as you pass Zeke’s phone back to him, the photo on display. “Sorry. I had to help him.”
“Why are you two like this?” Levi says, shaking his head, barely holding back a smile. He and Zeke part after a hug and a promise to get drinks soon.
Levi’s promptly joined by Falco and Gabi, and after their photo is taken, he ruffles their hair affectionately, which makes Gabi yelp. He really has stepped into the ‘cast dad’ role, a development that you find endlessly endearing. Soon after, their parents arrive to take them home— the kids have quite an early start tomorrow to film their scenes with Annie and Kiyomi on the boat.
Jean and Connie take the chance to snatch a couple of selfies with him, before the latter asks if he could join them to film a TikTok for the show’s official account. To Levi’s utmost relief, it isn’t a dance challenge. Connie instead asks him a few questions about how he feels about the show ending, and what the show means to him—he’s putting together a montage of every cast member’s responses.
On the sidelines, just out of view, you watch Levi give his answers. An ember of warmth kindles in your chest.
Soon after, Levi’s approached by the stunt team, headed by an old friend of Levi’s from his stuntman days. She’d made a cameo in the third season as Kenny’s lieutenant. You happily take a group photo for them.
After you hand Caven’s phone back to her, Hange taps you on the shoulder, having finished catching up with the other cast members. You smile as they hug you tight, swaying on the spot; today is the first time you’ve seen them since they filmed their death scene a few months back.
“It’s so good to see you!” They say, linking arms with yours. “Sorry it took so long to come and find you.”
“Don’t worry! It’s lovely having you back. How are you finding your return?”
“It’s great! I’ve really been missing this, even though it hasn’t been that long.” They pout.
“Oh, we’ve all missed you too, Hange,” you say, smiling. “Have you been up to much since you left?”
“Well, I visited my dad for a bit, then I sent in an audition tape for this thriller movie that my agent thinks I’ll be a good pick for. I also got a few other offers, but I’m a little on the fence. I’ll consider those if I don’t get that thriller role, but who knows when I’ll hear back from them?”
“I bet you’ll get it. Thrillers are right up your alley.”
“You flatter me, dear,” They grin. “Anyways, I am here to say that you are the only one left who has not taken a picture with Levi. And that needs to change. The two of you need something to remember this day by!” You realise they’ve been guiding you towards the rock, where Levi, Mikasa, Armin and Eren are deep in conversation. The younger actors are laughing boisterously at something Levi had said, heads tilted back, sporting wide grins. Levi’s still cradling his bouquet carefully, a soft smile as he speaks, looking up at his younger cast mates with endearment. Your heart warms at the sight.
The quartet look up as you approach. The younger actors wave goodbye, disappearing into the crowd. Hange quickly ushers you and Levi together, their phone already out of their pocket. “Alrighty, here we go!” They cheer. “Oi, look lively now, Levi. It’s the last photo!”
“Was about time we did this,” you whisper to him as you come close. At first, you settle into your usual stance whenever you take a photo with a cast member, but Levi is not just any cast member. Not to you. Gnawing on your lip, you grapple with yourself for a fleeting moment. Your professional side barely puts up a resistance, and so you lean in to whisper a question. Briefly, you wonder what it would feel like to kiss the delicate shell of his ear. You banish the traitorous thought, best as you can.
“Hey, can I put my arm around you for this?” As close as you and Levi have grown over the years, the two of you save your brief hugs for behind the scenes, in private. Physical affection is rare with him otherwise—whilst the cast tend to be very touchy with one another, Levi is usually seen on the sides, watching them with a quiet fondness in his eyes. That hug from earlier—it had to be a fluke, right?
And yet, he sighs, and bridges the small gap between you. His free arm moves behind you, a warm, firm hand comes to rest at your back. “You don’t have to ask, you know,” he murmurs in return. “I hugged you earlier, didn't I? Quit worrying. Go ahead.”
Warmth blooming inside you, you lean sideways towards him on impulse. You slide your own arm behind him, and Levi leans into your touch. “Just so you know,” he continues, “it was an honour working with you too.”
Hange starts to count down from three. A wave of emotion hits you, almost sweeps you off your feet. This is it. Your last day of working with him.
Still so much left unsaid.
Straining to keep your composure, you offer a wide, bright smile for the camera.
———
The next few hours are spent tidying and cleaning up. Most of the actors have gone home, but Levi stays behind to help out the crew, as he always does without fail. With how emotionally taxing the day had been, it’s a wonder he didn’t go back to his trailer immediately to crash. As if you couldn’t admire him any more.
Your eyelids are heavy by the time you finish up and arrive at Levi’s trailer. When you enter, he is slumped in a chair in front of the vanity mirror, already changed out of his costume.
Neither of you say a single word as you carefully wipe away the scars and the grime. Your traitorous hands linger for a split second too long whenever they brush against his smooth skin. In his stormy eyes are that same intense look he’d given you when you first appeared with the bouquet.
You wonder what it means.
Sooner or later, one of you will have to break this fragile silence. Levi decides to take the matter into his own hands, catching you off guard. “I guess this is it.”
The sting in your eyes returns with a fierce vengeance. You turn away for a moment, rapidly blinking your oncoming tears away. An invisible vice clamps down, mercilessly clenching your chest.
You choke on your words, but you get them out somehow. “I’ll miss you.” Not the three words you’ve been yearning to say for the last year, but it will have to do. “I’m going to miss you. So much. It’s been…” You wrack your brain, but there is no singular adjective you know of that could truly describe the past few years working on this show with him. “You know what I mean. Right?”
“I know what you mean.” Levi stands, turning to face you properly. The troubled crease between his brows return. “Look, I… I have to tell you something. Hear me out?”
Your heart thunders in your chest. You nod. “Yeah. Of course.”
His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows. “Remember this morning? I said I was satisfied with my work here. That I have no regrets.”
Barely able to breathe, you can only manage to nod.
“But that isn’t true. Not really. There is one thing I regret,” he says, slowly, cautiously.
Voice barely a whisper, you ask. “What is it?”
“That we never talked about what almost happened at Halloween last year.”
The world comes to a halt.
Dimmed lights. Bass reverberates through your bones. The aftertaste of a Bloody Mary lingers on your tongue. Levi is just centimetres away, his chest almost flush with yours. His eyes valiantly fight to stay focused on the intricate titan-shifter makeup on your cheeks, before he gives in and his line of sight drops to your lips. Unconsciously, he leans in slightly, seemingly gravitating towards you.
Devastating. That is the first word that comes to your mind. It is high time you realise that he will be the end of you; he could ask anything of you and you’d do it. Your heart beats for him.
Caught in his orbit, your face tilts towards his.
A drunken crew member barges past, jostling your shoulder. You yelp, stumbling to the side, before Levi’s hands—warm, steady, safe—catch you. The spell broken, he lets go the moment you are upright, averting his eyes from yours. Levi takes a step backwards—a small one, because there is barely any space in the corner of the room the two of you are tucked into. But to you, he suddenly feels so distant, that he might as well be on the other side of the universe.
“I need some air,” he says, stoic mask falling back into place. Before you can ask him what’s wrong, Levi turns on his heel and disappears into the crowd, taking all the warmth of the room with him.
No. This is dangerous territory. Since that night, the two of you had constructed an unspoken agreement to pretend nothing had ever happened. Levi had never made any impression that it was anything other than a drunken lapse in professionalism. For a while, you wondered if he even remembered that moment, or if it had all been in your head, a result of you projecting your own desires onto him.
Regardless, he had never brought it up. You’d been content to do the same. It was—and still is—impossible to fathom that Levi would ever want you.
“Tell me,” he says hoarsely, “that I wasn’t imagining things that night, and every day since. Tell me I’m not imagining that you’ve been looking at me like…”
Your breath hitches in your throat. “Like what?”
“Like that!” He snaps. His hands tremble in a way you’ve never seen before as he gestures towards you, voice tinged with desperation. “Like how you’re looking at me right now. I-I don’t know how I didn’t see it sooner. Because if I had… maybe I would’ve…”
The staggering realisation of what he’s trying to say sinks in.
Choking back a sob of relief, you reach out for his hands, and he offers them to you with no resistance. A light blush sweeps across his face as he stares at your interlocking fingers with something akin to wonder.
Breathlessly, you dare to ask. “Do you mean it? That if you had known how I felt, you… you would’ve kissed me?”
“Yes. I would’ve. I wanted to, more than anything.” With that, Levi finally looks up from your joined hands. The burning look he’s been giving you all throughout today—you recognise it, now, plain and simple.
His earlier words ring in your mind. I don’t know how I didn’t see it sooner.
“Oh, Levi,” you whisper.
He continues on. “And if I had known how you felt, I wouldn’t have upped and left you like that. I was being a shitty coward, for running away and pretending it never happened, and never giving you an explanation when you deserved one. I was scared, I think, of ruining what we already had. You didn’t imagine anything on my part, it happened, and you didn’t do anything wrong that night… I’m sorry.”
Smiling, you squeeze his hands; warm, steady, safe. “You aren’t imagining things on my end either. I’m in love with you, and have been for a while now.” You don’t need him to say those precious words back for now—Levi’s endearingly clumsy attempt at confessing means more to you than he’ll ever know. “And I forgive you for running out on me that night. We both thought it didn’t mean anything to the other person. For so long, I thought that even if you did, things would never work out, that today would be goodbye, because I have a new contract on the other side of the country, and you’ll be going back to stunt work, a-and…” Your voice trembles, so you force yourself to stop, and breathe.
“It will work. I swear it, I’m not saying goodbye to you. I don’t care what’s coming next, we can make it work.” He seems to muster his resolve, tugging you closer. “No more dancing around this like idiots. We have enough lost time to make up for.”
Smiling so widely your cheeks ache, you playfully poke his cheek. “Well, you can always begin with the kiss you owe me, yeah?”
“You smart-arse.” Levi chuckles, before gently cupping the back of your head with his hand. In a swift movement, he leans in and captures your lips with his.
It’s nothing short of divine.
Levi kisses you with years worth of yearning behind it. His other hand moves to cradle your face, thumb brushing against the curve of your cheek, wiping away a stray tear of happiness.
Eyes fluttering shut, you deepen the kiss. Tongues move in tandem, and it isn’t long before hands begin to roam, exploring the terrains of each other’s bodies with an almost innocent curiosity. Heat simmers underneath your skin, a carnal flame yearning to be stoked, to devour.
For now, though, you’ll have to temper it.
Coming up for air, you close your eyes, resting your forehead against his. As much as you desperately want him, you don’t want your first time having sex with Levi to be in a trailer on set, with multiple crew members still milling around outside and packing up for the day. You tell him as such, and he murmurs his agreement after kissing you once more.
“Glad we’re on the same page about that, so…” Realising what you’re about to say next, you choke back a grin at your own cheesiness. “You wanna go back to your place or mine?”
Levi rests his forehead on your shoulder and chokes back a laugh. “Fuck, that’s such a cliché line.”
You roll your eyes good-naturedly. “Yeah, yeah, laugh all you want, but the question still stands.”
He looks up at you, mirth dancing in his eyes. “Yours, then.”
The time spent packing up and driving back to your home crawls by agonisingly slowly. The moment the two of you cross the threshold onto your home, he’s closing the gap between the two of you, kissing you breathless, thoughtless, until only your longing for him remains. So much so that you almost forget to stop and get a condom out from your drawer—in fact, Levi has to remind you.
The rare few times you had allowed yourself to think about it, you’d pictured Levi as a tender lover, gentle despite his coarseness. He is all this and more. At his fingertips, you come alive. As he makes love to you, laughs and sweet nothings fill the air between the deep kisses you share. You should’ve expected just how generous he can be in bed, but it still takes you by surprise, the way he worships your body with a deep-rooted reverence, determined to pleasure you over and over. In turn, you reciprocate eagerly, honoured that Levi trusts you to take care of him in return, that he is so readily vulnerable with you.
Once the two of you are finally, utterly spent, Levi nudges you awake before you can fully slip into a deep doze, cosy and comfortable in his embrace. “Hey. Gotta clean ourselves up, sleepyhead.”
You chuckle drowsily, and miraculously muster up the strength to crawl out of his arms, out of the warm sheets. “The bathroom is just down the hall,” you yawn, trudging towards a cupboard not the other side of your room. “You can shower first whilst I change the sheets and find you a towel and some spare clothes, ‘kay?”
“Or,” Levi says, voice hoarse with the same kind of contented exhaustion that makes you yearn to curl up beneath the sheets in his arms, “you could come with me.” He pulls you back in, peppering gentle kisses along your neck and shoulder, which tickle slightly.
Euphoric, you close your eyes and laugh. “Okay.”
Showering together is an incredibly sweet, domestic affair. Long after you’ve rinsed off all the lather, you’re both hesitant to leave the warmth of the running water, content to cling onto each other and relish in the feeling of skin against skin.
After the two of you dry off and change the sheets, you climb into bed. Half awake and basking in each other’s presence, you pull him close, nestling your head on his chest. When was the last time you had felt so cherished, so happy?
Sleep claims you swiftly, but not before Levi kisses the top of your head and tells you what you already know:
“I’m in love with you, too.”
———
Several weeks later
The wrap party is well underway by the time you and Levi arrive.
The lights are dim, and the music reverberates through your bones. Levi’s hand finds a home in the curve of your waist as he guides you through the crowd of drunken cast and crew members. His touch anchors you, and you find yourself smiling giddily.
After helping yourself to a cocktail, the hours fly by. Apparently, the entire cast plus half of the crew (including all of the makeup assistants under your command) had been rooting for you and Levi to get together. Tonight when you finally revealed you were in a relationship with him to your juniors, you were subjected to an intense barrage of questions. This, however, paled in comparison to Hange’s reaction when Levi held your hand in front of their very eyes—they’d launched an interrogation so brutal you wonder why they didn’t enter law enforcement instead.
Soon after escaping Hange’s interrogation, you two both get another drink. “Everybody seems far too invested in this development than they should be,” you sigh, still frazzled. “How long do you reckon they’ve been shipping us?”
A look of exasperation flits across Levi’s face. “I don’t know, and I hate that I even know what ‘shipping’ means in this context. Also, I saw Zeke give Erwin money when Hange was drilling us. Fuckers had some kind of bet running on us. Don’t even wanna know how long that had gone on for.”
You tip your head back and laugh. “Colour me unsurprised. That sounds very on-brand for Zeke and Erwin. You know, I think I saw Armin and Connie do the same. Guess Armin’s not as angelic as he looks.”
“That’s been known, sweetheart. The kid’s a menace in disguise.” He kisses your cheek. “Just like you, actually, now that I think about it.”
Playfully, you swat him away. “Hey, who are you calling a menace?”
Eventually, the two of you find yourselves catching some air outside, needing a moment to sober up and recalibrate after a whirlwind of social interaction. Levi’s hand returns to your waist and tugs you closer to him, seeking out your warmth. Melting into his touch, you do you best to commit the feeling of his embrace to memory. Soon, you’ll move away for a few months for your next contract, but you no longer fear it. Levi had sworn to you that this would work out, and there is nobody’s word you trust more than his.
Your love for each other has endured for years in the past. A handful more months is nothing.
Levi shifts slightly to get a better look at you, and cups your cheek. Meeting his gaze, your heart stops; his eyes are a breathtaking silver in the moonlight. Easily the most expressive feature he has, you could get lost in them for hours.
Caught in his orbit, your face tilts towards his.
This time, Levi meets you halfway.
Do not repost, modify or claim as your own work.
Masterlist
#levi ackerman#levi ackerman x reader#levi x reader#levi ackerman x you#levi x you#levi ackerman x y/n#levi x y/n#aot x reader#attack on titan x reader#snk x reader#shingeki no kyojin x reader#reader insert#x reader#gender neutral reader#aot actor au#actor levi x makeup artist reader
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“Scared of me?” Eren Jaeger x Fem!Reader
Kinktober — Week Four: Stalker, mask, car sex, choking, DC
You had always wanted to go to Horror Nights, and finally tonight was the night. You and your friends had all saved up to get the fast passes to beat the two hour lines, gotten cute outfits to take a bunch of pictures in, and all met up early at the theme park to get the full experience.
Excitement ran through your veins as you entered the park. The decorations were amazing and the sets for the mazes were really thought out.
The best part though were the scare actors prowling around through the crowds. The costumes ranged from people with scary makeup, to people walking on stilts.
The whole thing left you in awe.
Your friends you decided to go through some of the mazes, and your group clung together as you guys screamed through each one.
After a couple of the scary mazes, you guys went to look for something to eat. Navigating through the large crowds was difficult, especially with the scare actors going around.
Finding a food stand you all could agree on, your friends went to order while you looked for a place to sit. You found a place nearby pretty quickly and made your way over to claim it.
Just as you made it to the picnic table you suddenly felt a presence behind you.
“Boo,” An extremely deep, unnatural voice said behind you, causing you to jump and turn around.
It was a scare actor, obviously. A man, shirtless and smeared with fake blood, wearing a mask with glowing green eyes.
You gasped and stepped backwards from him, startled by how ominous his presence was. He seemed different than the other actors, for example he was the first one you’d seen that was completely topless.
His mask was different too. It looked like a humanoid creature with exaggerated pointed features, the expression set in a permanent scowl. ( I’m going for erens titan as a mask )
It’s glowing LED lights for eyes really made the whole look though. They were haunting.
The two of you just stood there for a moment, staring at each other. The actor tilted his head to the side, as if questioning you, and you watched his long brown hair fall over his shoulder.
“I-I,” You stumbled over your words, feeling very confused.
The scare actors have been doing a great job so far at making you feel what you’re supposed to feel, scared.
Until now, until him.
You can feel yourself blushing under his watchful eyes, and you want nothing more than to rub your thighs together to elevate the sudden ache you feel between them.
The actor tilts his head the other way, and this time you notice the way his bare torso moves. This man is cut, and the fake blood covering him only helps to accentuate that.
“Yes?” That deep voice asked, and you suddenly realize that he has a voice changer in his mask as well.
You clear your throat, “I- I like your mask.”
Another moment of just staring passes between the two of you, and now you suddenly hate his mask because you can’t see anything going behind it. But then, the actor takes a step closer to you and this time, you don’t step away from him.
His tall frame is extremely close to you now, and you suck in a breath when he leans down to press the nose of his mask to yours, “Thank you.”
You blink at him and open your mouth to say something else when you hear your friends call out for you.
It’s like a spell was broken. You gasp, eyes widening and you take a step back, bumping into the table in the process. A deep chuckle comes from the actors mask, sending a chill down your spine as you watch him stand back up to his full height.
The man then just walks away, moving back to prowl around through the crowd of people.
You watch him disappear, a feeling of disappointment filling your chest.
When you’re friends make it over to you, hands full of food, they ask you if you’re okay. You nod and sit down with them after turning to try and find those glowing eyes again.
After you guys finish eating you continue making your way through the park. You go through more mazes, look through the shops, get some snacks and drinks, and laugh every time one of your friends gets scared.
It was just as fun as you thought it would be.
Except, you couldn’t shake the feeling that someone was watching you, following you.
You couldn’t tell if it was just the atmosphere of Horror Nights or if you were really being stalked, but whenever you would check your surroundings when the feeling got to be too much, you could’ve sworn you saw those familiar glowing green eyes.
Was that scare actor following you?
You should’ve said something, told one of your friends or gone to an employee. Instead you waited, sitting with your anticipation and wondering what the wanted.
It was late by the time your friends decided to call it a night, and you guys walked to the exit together before saying goodbye and splitting off to head to your cars.
The feeling that you were being watched intensified once you were alone. The hairs on the back of your neck stood up, and you picked up your pace the closer you got to your car.
You could feel his presence behind you now, trailing behind you toward your car, and once you rounded the side of your car to get in the driver’s seat, he was on you.
Two hands suddenly grabbed your waist, roughly spinning you around to look into the same LED green lights from earlier.
The masked man pressed you against the car as you stared at him and whispered, “So you were following me.”
He nodded, not seeming even a little ashamed, and leaned into you. His hands immediately began exploring, roaming across your body over your clothes, making you shudder and close your eyes.
“Not even going to say anything?” You mutter, hating how much control this stranger had over you.
How much control you were letting him have.
The man pushed himself closer, leaning down to put the mouth of the mask next to your ear, and you felt him squeeze your ass as the deep voice asked, “Yes or no?”
You whimpered as his hands continued to squeeze you, and nodded.
“Say it.” He demanded.
You moaned as you said, “Yes.”
“Good,” Was all he said before unbuttoning your jeans and sliding his hand inside both them and your panties.
A gasp fell out of your mouth at the suddenness, but it melted into another moan at the feeling of two of his fingers slipping between your folds and sliding against your clit. Your hips bucked involuntarily against his hand, and you gripped onto his arms for dear life as pleasure engulfed you.
“So easily undone by someone you know literally nothing about,” The man teased you, causing you to whine, “Don’t even know what my actual voice sounds like and here you are, letting me finger you in a parking lot.”
“Take off the mask then,” You groaned, your eyes rolling back as you feel him slip his middle finger inside of you.
He pushes another finger inside of your aching pussy before you can even fully adjust to the feeling of the first one.
You cry out, too lost in the feeling of his fingers inside of you and the heel of his hand rubbing your clit to notice how loud you were.
The strangers free hand wrapping around your throat and squeezing made you open your eyes and gasp out a surprised breath, “Shhhh.”
“P-please,” You mumbled, feeling so close to the edge.
The man pressed the nose of his mask against yours, just like before, and said, “If you want to see my face, then earn it.”
Right as you were about to cum, he pulled his hand out from inside your pants. You groan in frustration, tears prickling your eyes, “Why-“
“Get on your knees,” He ordered, taking a step back to give you room. You watch him completely stunned as he lifts the bottom of his mask, and slides his fingers still covered in your slick in his mouth.
You still can’t see anything but when he moans as he tastes you, it’s him. The sound doesn’t come out of the voice changer, deepening and distorting it, you only hear him.
And the sound makes you drop to your knees, eager to please him enough to take the mask off.
“Good girl,” he says after pulling the mask back down, “Taste fucking good too, just like I thought.”
You make quick work of unzipping his pants and pulling him out, and your eyes widen at the sheer size of him.
You don’t know if he’ll fit inside your cunt, let alone your throat.
“You can take it,” The man grunts, apparently reading your mind, before grabbing a fistful of your hair and bringing your face closer to his cock.
Frowning, you glare up at him, “Can I at least know your name?”
You watch him tilt his head, “It’s Eren. Now suck my cock, Yn.”
Your eyes widen at his use of your name, knowing full well that you never told him it. Then again, he has been following you, he probably heard it from your friends throughout the night.
Throwing another bratty glare at him, you bring your hand up to wrap around the base of Eren’s cock as you wrap your lips around his head.
A breathy sound comes out of Eren’s mask, encouraging you to take more of him. It doesn’t take long for you to begin sucking him off in earnest, causing his hand to tighten in your hair almost painfully.
“Fuck, keep going baby,” Eren groaned, rocking his hips and gently fucking your mouth. You moan around his length and gag a little when he thrusts in to far.
With a strangled sound Eren pulls you off of him suddenly, saliva and precum connecting you before he lifts you off the pavement, “Backseat. Now.”
You quickly open the car door and he pushes you inside on your back, already tugging your jeans and panties down your legs.
The door slams shut and he on top of you, spreading your legs and lining himself up with your now exposed entrance.
“Eren please!” You whine, feeling him tease you with the head of his cock.
“You want me to fuck you? Huh?” He taunts, rubbing his tip through your folds, “Need me inside of your pussy?”
“Yes, gods please fuck me Eren.” You beg, tears pricking your eyes again.
He pushes his length inside of you without warning, bottoming out and making your eyes snap shut at the feeling of being stretched out. Eren feels so big inside of you, filling you up so much that he’s kissing your cervix.
It feels amazing.
“Look at me,” Eren grunts and you falter at the unfamiliar voice.
You open your eyes and look up Eren in the dark of your car, to realize he took the mask off. His eyes were green, but unlike his mask they weren’t blinding yet haunting. They looked at you with hunger and amusement.
“Hi, princess.” Eren smirked at you and began thrusting his hips at a bruising pace.
Moaning loudly you squeezed your legs around him, arching your back at the intense pleasure resurfacing through your body.
He immediately found your sweet spot, exploiting it and making your body shake, “You feel so fucking good wrapped around my cock, fuck.”
With the edge from earlier you could already feel your climax approaching, so you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him into a kiss. Finally feeling his mouth on yours was exhilarating and you moaned, “Don’t stop, fuck I’m so close.”
Eren smirked again your mouth and muttered, “Come on, cum on my cock and show me how good I make you feel.”
Slipping his hand between your bodies, Eren started rubbing your clit, making you fall apart. You came with a long moan, clinging onto the man on top of you and clenching around him.
“S-shit,” Eren groaned before quickly pulling out and fisting his dick, spilling his cum all across your stomach.
You lay on your backseats, panting as you desperately try to catch your breath. Looking up at Eren, you find him staring at you, a satisfied smile lighting up his face.
“What?” You ask, suddenly feeling self conscious and very aware that you don’t know this man.
But Eren just shoots you a cocky smirk and says, “I just knew you’d look good covered in my cum, that’s all.”
Kinktober is FINISHED
#eren yeager x reader#eren jaeger x reader#eren jaeger smut#eren jeager x reader#eren x you#eren aot#eren x reader#eren jaeger#eren jeager x y/n#eren yaegar#aot x female reader#aot x reader#attack on titan#attack on titan x reader#eren jeager smut#aot smut#stuckinthesun kinktober#kinktober 2023#kinktober
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“i told you, you better stay prayed up. you never thought the universe would be looking for…revenge”
alexis | twenty | black | nov scorpio | eren and abby’s pretty gf
before clicking any further my blog is 18+ and all my writing is nsfw!!! any minors or blank blogs that interact will be blocked with quickness <33 now that that’s out of the way pls enjoy my writing!!! also this is not a democracy any comment i don’t like will simply be deleted as well any hate in my inbox xoxo
attack on titan ଘ(੭ˊ꒳ˋ)੭✧
eren yeager
peaches and coconut + peaches and coconut pt 2 ft jean kirstein
peaches and coconut drabble #1 (eren teaches reader how to masturbate)
peaches and coconut drabble #2 (eren and reader have sex in the bathroom during a church service)
peaches and coconut drabble #3 (eren and reader have high sex in his car)
basketball player!eren x chubby!reader fic
basketball player!eren x chubby!reader pt 2
plug eren hc’s #1, #2
plug!eren drabble #1 (eren fucks readers mouth w his glock)
plug!eren drabble #2 (eren pulls his glock out on someone while he’s w reader)
plug!eren drabble #3 (reader sucks eren off while his glock is pointed at her head + reiner cameo)
plug!eren #4 (eren and reader discuss his hair length before having nasty sex)
plug!eren drabble #5 (reader is craving skin to skin contact and eren helps)
aftercare w plug!eren
nerd!reader x eren drabble #1
nerd!reader x eren drabble #2
jailbird!eren drabble
toxic baby daddy eren fic
mma fighter!eren drabble
childhood best friend eren fic
aot boys squirting hc’s
rough sex w eren drabble
ceo!eren fic
nerd!eren x nerd!reader fic
eren eating pussy w grills in
sex w toxic bf!eren
nerd!eren drabble #1 (eren has a big dick)
nerd!eren drabble #2 (eren’s first bj)
nerd!eren drabble #3 (eren cums a lot and loves to be overstimulated)
nerd!eren hc’s
oral fixation drabble
incubus!eren drabble
actor!eren x playmate!reader
jean kirstein
raw
aot boys squirting hc’s
oral fixation drabble
armin arlert
pervert!armin hc’s
pervert!armin fic
aot boys squirting hc’s
connie springer
plug!connie drabble (lil intro to plug!connie)
plug!connie hc’s
levi ackerman
plug!levi hc’s
semi sub!levi drabble
aot boys squirting hc’s
reiner braun
aot boys squirting hc’s
oral fixation drabble
househusband!reiner hc’s
mikasa ackerman
sub!mikasa drabble
jujutsu kaisen ଘ(੭ˊ꒳ˋ)੭✧
toji fushiguro
the girl next door
gojo satoru
hide n’ seek
tokyo revengers ଘ(੭ˊ꒳ˋ)੭✧
draken
big dick kenny drabble
ran haitani
drabble about getting slutted out by ran and rindou
rindou haitani
drabble about getting slutted out by ran and rindou
kazutora hanemiya
drabble about kazutora being a bitch boy for you
demon slayer ଘ(੭ˊ꒳ˋ)੭✧
tengen uzui
lights, camera, action!
our favorite girl ft makio, hinatsuru, n suma
#everything i’ve ever written is in here so pls enjoy!!!#can u tell that i’m biased by the amount of eren fics
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Do you have any eremika age gap au recs?? It’s my favorite trope and there’s nearly not enough fics out there😭😭😭
*rubs hands* I took my time with this because I am not the most avid fic reader unfortunately, but I do have a few recs and some more on my tbr. I think what you're looking for is not just an age difference but where the age gap is the focus? i've marked those in pink. definitely check the tags on these before proceeding!!
gonna start with mine just for completeness, and also because i love it *blush*
boy next door: For sixteen years, Mikasa has watched the boy next door. First: through the eyes of a child, hand in his during family trips, his hand on her first bike when she learned how to ride. Then: through the eyes of a teenager, peeking behind her blinds into his room on hot summer months when he didn't wear a shirt, eyes lingering on his lips when he pulled away his cigarette. Now, she is so much older, but he is older still, and the gap between them feels ever widening. But her desire to close it only feels more desperate.
i'm certain you've checked out @herblacktights 's ao3, but here are my favs of hers with that age gap sauce:
degausser: After a deadly flu pandemic that devastates Paradis Island and the rest of the world, Eren is all Mikasa has. After she turns sixteen, that gets complicated. -> the plot is entirely the age gap, lol!
comfort me: “Mikasa,” Eren drawled, fake scolding edging into his voice as he held the basement door open and led her outside. “Does Aunt Carla know what a bad girl you are?” For a moment, she looked stunned. A sliver of a second, a wink of an eye. Looking every inch the little girl he watched grow up, who he knew deserved better than him. But before it could take root in her and make him regret what he said, Mikasa gave him a terrible, sweet smile. “Aunt Carla says I deserve to do whatever I want after the year I’ve had,” she said and from the way that she was looking at him, he should’ve known it was a threat. cw: mild daddy kink!
love dog : this one is a bit different! teacher mikasa x student eren, and mikasa is the older one. cw: it doesn't exactly have a super happy ending. but it is one of my favs from hannah!!
Butterfly effect by @sunlightandsuffering : Sugar baby AU - older hobo eren x younger mikasa. how can i say this... it's the OG, the most delicious, lys-brand chaotic eremika but age gap flavour! i love it, i'm sure if you've been around this block you've read it lol, but it's simply amazing, read it again!!
You, me and our sins by @loneghostss : Eren is married and Mikasa has a boyfriend. But the fact that they both have someone doesn't stop them from sinfully falling in love with each other. (it is about eremika having an affair with each other and it is so sensual and hot, age gap is not central here but it definitely brings heat!!) you could also check out lost saints by the same author, there's also some age difference and great smut.
@dead-dolphins is a connoisseur of the age gap trope, defs check out all the aus on her pinned post!! ro is a master of drama and worldbuilding so her fics are always a treat. she's got some on ao3 that are all about that sweet age gap <3
chemical hype boy : idol mikasa x actor eren!! and eren is definitely playing into the older established actor mold!
i apologise if you feel something: Goth mikasa gets involved with older Eren, lead vocalist of a metal band.
the promised princess: a medieval fantasy au inspired by got. age difference is not the central theme, but it's a stellar fic regardless.
straight/edge by @sinigangsta-ao3: Mikasa Ackerman is prim, proper, and perfect. As the golden child of the Ackerman family, her academic achievements set her up for a bright future and atone for her older brother’s past mistakes. When the spring semester of her junior year arrives, she crosses paths with a local boy toward whom she’d typically never give the time of day — and they begin a whirlwind relationship that unlocks parts of herself that she didn’t know she kept hidden. this fic is more about the good girl x bad boy trope but with that delicious 3-4 year age gap sauce!! cw: NOT a hea
devilish lovers by softwinter: “I wanna be your friend, Mikasa,” he told her one day when she got home from school not able to feign a less distressed expression on her face, too many sixteen-year-old problems going on in her life. He had the habit of commenting that she was always sad, that he didn’t like how that transpired on her gray eyes.
“I thought you wanted to be my daddy,” something flashed in his eyes right then, like she’d said something forbidden, a kind of thing that could make her a bad girl in his eyes. cw: step dad kink!! definitely check the tags before proceeding.
heaven knows by @joannaofarkham: priest au where priest eren is mikasa's teacher in a catholic school. it is unfinished but the first chapter reads pretty well standalone!
eternally yours by @cxcassii: reincarnation au + age gap. It's been 2,000 years since Eren Jaeger was a titan shifter and unleashed the blood drenched madness of the rumbling upon the world. Now, in the year 2023, he's a twenty-four year old who lives with his best friend Armin. He goes about his days working as a pharmacy technician all while attempting to cope and come to terms with the loss of the loved ones he still remembers with clarity from his previous life. The atrocious sins of his past life he can never ever truly atone for. But most of all, there's one person he simply can't forget: His former love of his life, Mikasa. It's when he's not actively searching for her that they cross paths once again, and their love will once again be on trial when Eren learns that Mikasa not only doesn't remember their past life together, but is also seventeen years old. this one is still on my tbr but whatever i've read so far looks extremely delicious!!!
enjoy!! if anyone wants to add more please feel free to reblog and improve this list!! <3
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