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#aot fluff
mishimaontheflipside · 2 days ago
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Make My Mind: A Halloween fluff
a halloween reiner x f!reader modern au
It's Shocktober fest, autumn is in the the air and reader invites a self-conscious Reiner Braun along for a spooky evening of fun at a Horror Farm. She's always liked him but never known where their friendship stands. When things don't go according to plan, she tries to see the positives, hoping to get Reiner out of his shell and not read too hard into his glances.
Suggestive themes, swearing, angst and pining; mostly just fluff, flirting... tension . My attempt at some cute Reiner interactions, or I hope they are. He sure needs them. A lil early for Halloween...Inspired by the song Make My Mind by Screaming Trees
7.0k words
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“You sure about this?” Reiner muttered hands buried deep in his pockets as he took in the prying eyes of the demon before him. It was rather hammy. Barely grazing his pectorals with its yellowed latex talon, hissing in what was more likely delight; setting off a rather involuntary eye twitch on Reiner’s otherwise reserved face. Carved in marble, all of him; maybe that was what the demon had noticed.
I had.
Snorting, I ushered the ridiculous costumed being off and shook Reiner’s shoulder, my fingers brushing the wool of his collar, fighting the urge to squeeze the taught muscle under my grip that was swathed in the flattering dark denim of his jacket, “We only just got in. You want to deprive me of a Halloween Horror Farm? Me?”
He glanced down at me, his spell (or stare off) with the demon-thing broken at my touch. His mouth pressed into a firm line, towering over me and striking a broad, intimidating figure. Yet I spied a softening around the eyes.
They were such warm eyes; made the whole evening really hard to keep platonic. I had promised myself that much. This wasn’t a date. We had never used the term. Just two friends hanging out, behind their other friends back at a Shocktober Festival on a functioning farm.
For some reason it felt like we were up to no good when we hung out alone like this. Or I did anyway. If Reiner thought of me more than friends, he wasn’t explicit about it. Certainly not in comparison to my stupidly obvious vibes… we liked each other’s company. That should have been enough.
And the others could be so loud. So rare as the occasion was, I had to bask in it, never pushed for more.
Reiner’s eyes were a colour worthy of being ignited, even now as I witnessed the caution in his gentle gaze. I wanted to be the spark; it was just that I didn’t know if he was after one.
“Maybe you’ll regret wanting that. Here’s your chance to run.” Reiner nodded behind us, to the gate.
I wished he was joking. I knew that as lightly as he tried to pass it off, he meant spending time with him; fucking moron. I asked him, “From you?”
He rubbed the back of his neck, watching as a Michael Myers-esque character sidled by to annoy an oblivious flirting couple.
“Thought so,” I tugged at his sleeve until he dropped his arm down, “You said ‘yes’.”
“Because you asked.” He said it so plainly, a matter of fact.
My heart skipped a beat but I battered down that delight, “Funny that; it’s almost as if I wanted to come here with you.”
Now my heart was going to explode – goddamn Reiner was smiling. It never failed to knock the wind from me when he did that, even more so when I was the source.
Reiner nodded, “Well, I thought everyone else had said ‘no’.”
I feigned outrage, “To me?”
His chuckle rumbled; I could feel it in the air between us, in the ground beneath our feet. Shit, he was quaking my world, and it took all my power to hold on to it, not to miss a moment.
“Boo!”
That was the hockey-masked face that had appeared before me, catching me before I could blurt out how beautiful Reiner was.
I screamed.
Reiner’s arm shot out in front of me, a thick guard against the assailant.
This was no play actor however. Otherwise it would have been highly unprofessional for them to be joining in the raucous laughter of the group of college students behind them, also in hockey-masks. Out of character too; I was pretty sure that they weren’t supposed to be collaborating with the customers.
“Hey!” Fear quickly shifted to rage and Reiner’s defence of me was more from me, forced to keep his arm steady, even as I clawed at it, “You little shits. Why don’t you drown in some lake? Huh? Or maybe Mama will do it for you-”
“Okay,” Reiner grumbled, resisting me with some struggle, “Very specific with the threats.”
The laughter rippled louder and the hockey-masked fiend patted his arse for me to kiss it. It was embarrassing really, that I could recognise him when he turned around; the long-long on top, clipped on the sides hairstyle, arrogant wiggle of his great, yet unbearable, arse.
“Porco?” I squeaked.
This just set them off louder.
Reiner dropped his arm, stumbling away from me a little, “Porco? Oh shit, what are you doing here?”
Even as he said it, as Porco pushed the mask off his face to reveal that dreadfully smug smile, he was followed by the rest of the group. The others, who were loud and annoying and totally invasive, were now all there. We should have suspected.
Bertholdt towered above everyone, and removed his mask rather sheepishly mouthing an apology in Reiner’s direction. Colt was there too, grinning, just happy to be a part of the fun. Totally shameless. Pieck flung her hair out as she removed hers, coming up behind Porco to squeeze his still dancing, obnoxious butt – it wasn’t official that they were boning, but no one voluntarily did that to him, so it had to be true.
When Zeke shook free of his own mask, he handed it to a passing girl, ruffling his hair and beard into shape before they had a grip on it. Then he lit a cigarette.
Reiner blinked, “Should I be running?” This he said to no one in particular.
“You didn’t invite us?” Porco smirked, grabbing hold of Pieck’s wrist playfully, chiding her bullying – the squeezes had turned into pummels of his cheeks - directing the question our way, “Can’t remember the last time I saw you outside of the classroom, Braun.”
Reiner blushed, shrinking in his large way. To those who didn’t know him, they would not suspect such recoil. It was a rather subtle change, yet he seemed to be disappearing inwardly. He ignored Porco.
Bertholdt was shifting uncomfortably still, locked in some silent admonishment from Reiner. So I answered, “Didn’t think this was your scene, Porco? I mean, you live each day like a horror show, right? What’s new here?”
He guffawed, “Rich coming from you. You don’t usually piss yourself when you see me.”
“Not that you know of,” I snorted.
Pieck jabbed at us both with her free index, “You know you both just admitted some questionable stuff just then.”
I buried my head in the crook of my arm, and suppressed a scream. They were so freaking annoying. When I peeked from behind it, Reiner was looking at me, half amused, half baffled. And there were his soft eyes… The little creases. I could swear that he warmed just for me, hoped it was the case.
“Where’s Annie?” he asked, breaking eye contact with a shake of his head, pointing his question towards Pieck.
“I’m not her keeper.” She huffed.
Colt chimed in, “She’s at her dad’s for the weekend.”
“Her dad’s?” Reiner’s brow furrowed, “I thought he lived overseas now-”
“Deflection,” Porco shook his head. At that, Reiner feigned a little backhand, a why-you-little kind of gesture.
Zeke clapped his hands, cigarette dangling from his mouth “Well, it’s not about where we start, but where we go from here,” He wrapped an arm around both me and Reiner, pulling us close to him; a strong whiff of Reiner’s cologne disturbed in the motion leaving me a little light-headed, “The night is young and full of terrors.” He squeezed my shoulders, “Or lacklustre whimpers.”
When I scrunched my face up, he blew a little puff of smoke out of the corner of his mouth like a tea kettle and mock-pouted back.
“You guys are tagging along?” Reiner sighed. I couldn’t give him the stink eye, what with Zeke’s luscious locks and magnificent height blocking my view, but I’m sure he felt my psychic protests.
“How very kind of you to ask.” Zeke patted us both and released, leading the way towards Chainsaw Maze. Well, I knew it was by the punctuated metallic clang of a chainsaw and the ripple of screams beyond that followed.
Porco puffed his chest out, slinging an arm around Colt and Pieck, mimicking and not quiet nailing the effortless alpha-ism of Zeke before him, “After this, I want candy apples.”
She grinned, tugging at his finger, “With extra razor blades for you.”
Colt frowned, looking between the two, “You wouldn’t, would you?”
Bertholdt still hadn’t said anything. Reiner prodded at his arm, “You hate horror parks.”
“I tried to stop them, but they already bought the masks…” He pleaded, glancing at me, “I’m sorry.”
I shook my head, “Not your fault?”
Reiner and Bertholdt exchanged another look. What was going on with them?
“And we don’t own the place, do we Reiner. Glad to have you along.” I patted Bertholdt’s elbow, and side-by-side, we pursued the others. Until I felt a little resistance, on the end of my coat. Turning, I saw Reiner gripping the hem.
Not that he said anything, simply fell into step with me and, a little behind Bertholdt, we followed the rest, united in our disturbance of the evening ahead of us.
I felt high as a kite still. What Reiner could do to me.
The Chainsaw Maze was a success, I guess. It conquered us as intended. Halfway through we had somehow split up, just as the maniac herding us through had wanted all along. In panic, it was Zeke who I found myself clinging to in pure terror, his swagger exchanged for knee-buckling. But, I distinctly recalled linking frightened arms with both Bertholdt and Reiner. Pieck was counting us off, having made it out first unfazed, puzzled by Porco’s sudden absence, having crept in eagerly together.
“Hmm, I wonder how much motor oil they must get through with that thing.” Colt pondered, offering a visibly shaken Bertholdt a sip from his water bottle.
Of course, the last to emerge were none other than Porco, illicitly spent and breathless, hanging from Reiner, pale to look upon as they stumbled free. 
I covered my mouth to disguise my bubbling snickers. Reiner was shoving Porco aside, but when he met my gaze his frown cracked open. He laughed. It was only soft, and he dipped his head, inspecting his feet, utterly self-conscious, hiding the momentary shine from his face.
They did not let us rest. Caught before I made to reach out for him, forgot that I had never been so frank like that, I was glad I suppose that I was hindered from exposing my gravitational pull towards his frame.  Yet I couldn’t help but resent, even just a little, the way they tumbled on him as they considered the next amusement. As though they were frightened he would recede. Their clutches keeping him in place. But there I stood, keeping my distance, for the same reasons.
Next up was the Horror Hay Barn ride. It was just a tractor, pulling a sheep wagon kitted out with seats; for sheep did not perch like us. Yet funny how bestial and base I felt rounded on board. When I sat down, Zeke was opposite me. But before the tractor pulled off, spotting the free seat beside me instead, Pieck on my other, he slunk into that.
“Eww, who said?” I frowned.
He nodded, “This way I don’t have to look at you.”
I giggled, shoving him.
Reiner had been beside him, but with little hesitation, shuffled up so he was opposite me. Hands clasped in his lap at first, he smiled. It faltered as the monstrous vehicle shuddered into action. Bertholdt grabbed Reiner for support.
As we ploughed over the uneven dirt roads, pale-garbed figures snuck about the treelines, popped out from behind the shrubbery. The story was that there was a secret lab in the basement of the old farmhouse, with long-forgotten failed experiments haunting the dilapidated land. The professor, thought long dead, had been rumoured to still work on his devious creations. I didn’t know why we needed to be on a tractor for it.
The themes were all over the place.
A figure, one of the test subjects, scurried alongside the wagon, trying to grab on. I reeled away, as Pieck tried to push me further out.
Reiner kicked my boot after the ordeal was done, arms crossed firmly across his wide chest, when Pieck had found something to pick at Porco over – if I was mistaken, I could have sworn that she was comparing him to one of the more nervous, lacklustre monsters peeking around the tree.
Zeke almost looked like he was dozing.
Colt was forcing Bertholdt to watch, laughing all the while.
“You okay?” He mouthed.
I nodded.
He looked tired himself, drained by the attention of the others. I pointed at him, my own question.
He simply smiled. It wasn’t an answer.
I was certain I felt Reiner’s hand brush the back of mine at the stage. A time warp was being recreated with a crew of pumpkin dancers, strange gyrating rather uncomfortable to endure in their bright orange costumes and toothy, bulbous-headed gleams.
Maybe it was that the audience couldn’t comprehend what they were seeing; many looked as though they had been there all evening throwing back the local brewed cider, vibing with the spooky atmosphere. Just going with the flow, accepting the trip; for me, much of the dance was gurtehr proof that themes were a creatively restrictive construct. That had to be why...
I glanced down at my hand, the contact brief but scorching against the chilled skin. His hand was right there, hanging beside my own, his other holding a paper cup of cider. I bit my lip when I noted that his cheeks were little flushed. He’d only had a sip.
Colt swayed to the music with Pieck, holding their cups up like lighters at a rock concert, Porco mimed grinding the air behind her, imitating the dance up on stage. Even Zeke was tapping his foot.
I stepped closer to Reiner, not that there as much distance to fill. The heat of his large body radiated from his frame.
All I did was glance up, but he was already looking down at me. I wriggled my head in a little groove. He shook his head, taking a sip of his drink. Bertholdt and myself had ordered hot – lukewarm - chocolates, not quite seeing the appeal of what may have been a rather potent moonshine.
And then he offered me a sip.
I could still smell his cologne; it clung to him even as his own masculine smell lingered beneath it. The smell of his soap, the fresh detergent on his clothes, the bitter tang of the alcohol; I was practically pressed up against him, as platonically as I could be, inhaling it all in. I pretended it was the crowd, sparse though it was, convinced myself that I was not bold at all, only cautious of others. Knowing what I did, that I could feel the shape of him through my clothes, it meant that he would feel me too. I was already drunk on him.
Still, I took the cup. His long, thick fingers grazed my own, and I allowed my imagination to run wild as I drank from it, staring up at him as he watched. Waiting for my opinion.
“Good?” he smiled, eyes dropping to the cup and then back to my own. He didn’t just look at me. The way he saw me, with caution, waiting for something. Maybe rejection, but brimming with hope? My chest ached. Some people were always waiting to be hurt. If could make that go away…
I nodded. Tart on my tongue, I disguised my expression as he took the cup back.
It was his hand that snaked up my arm, the one I was certain had brushed my own. It traced lightly the shape of forearm, my fleshy tricep before the wide expanse of his palm pressed between my shoulder blades, absently rubbing the spot. Yet I could feel the tug. The one that was pulling me closer to him.
From this angle, the whiskers of his facial hair looked darker. I wanted to run my hands though his fair hair, pull his face down to mine, feel the bristle of his scruff on my skin. The cider was really strong.
“Ugh!” Pieck cried, covering her eyes.
We jumped apart.
“In public?” Colt shook his head, half-hearted though the statement was.
My heart pounded in my chest, I had to avoid looking at Reiner. I was sure he was doing the same.
They weren’t looking at us.
A few others in the crowd were tutting, stepping aside from a couple locked in some manic embrace on one of the picnic tables.
“Zeke, do something about your brother,” Porco shook his head in disapproval, but failed to stop his own sexy dancing.
He was the only one who could do anything and even then Eren, his brother, was a lot to handle. Mikasa was totally into that right now. They were moments away from full contact.
Zeke said nothing, threw back the rest of his cider and handed the empty cup to Bertholdt before lighting another cigarette. Then he made his way over.
Reiner and I exchanged glances. He covered his mouth and turned away, the tips of his ears a bright red. I could feel my own cheeks sting with the flush of heat, patted them with my cold hands to drain the colour out of my face. The cider couldn’t have been that strong.
Eren was yelling at Zeke. They were all hands and gestures.
We moved on once Zeke relinquished the keys of his car to Eren, apparently a trade; if they left before they got kicked out, sober though they were, they could use his car for whatever… brothers were a breed of their own.
We went to other amusements; the arcade was horror themed too. Pieck and Porco were too large for the helter-skelter yet went down together. They did almost get us kicked out. And Colt was far too violent with whack-a-zombie.
A VR of the Demon Barber of Fleet Street in the twenty-first century followed that, and a bonfire in which we witnessed a witch’s coven summon the dark spirits. The demons from before made a reappearance and Reiner and myself both rolled our eyes. They chose one person from the crowd to ‘sacrifice’, which happened to be the most frightened and hard to miss; Bertholdt. He was ready to piss himself.
“Serves him right,” Reiner muttered.
In the gift shop, the others had been lured with the promise of all sorts of sweet treats. This was where they had bought those masks; other than food, there were breakable toys and elaborate costumes and accessories on sale at reasonable prices. I rummaged through the masks, irrationally excited by a pretty authentic Freddy Kreuger get up when I noticed Reiner and Bertholdt, heads bowed close muttering amongst themselves. Bertholdt tapped Reiner’s shoulder, as he shook his head.
Typically, they were interrupted. It was Colt first, holding up a bag of chocolate honeycomb with ghost faces painted on them to Reiner. Then Porco sidled over, sucking on Pumpkin shaped lollipops, gesturing at the checkout, the empty wrapper and finally his emptier pockets with a dramatic shrug. Was he the one who maxed out on the masks? It seemed plausible. Pieck waved a basket of treats and that was all she had to do to make her point.
They pleaded, like kids. And Reiner caved so fast, bemoaning each of them, raising his voice when Pieck went to add pinwheels to the already heavy load. He herded them to the checkout, rubbing his furrowed brow, his other hand on his hip altogether looking like a troubled doting father. He wasn’t mad, I could tell.
I bit the inside of my cheek when he caught me watching. Reiner grinned at me.
That night they had turned up and thrown off whatever it was we had planned. But I could see it. They wanted him there, to be there with him. This was no harassment or extortion in jest; I think they had missed him more than they could say. Were they exploiting his wallet? A little. But one thing I knew about them, they would do a lot for him.
Reiner kept to himself a lot, even in groups. Had for a long time. This strange routine, the smothering of attention and love, the demands and the clinging; it was all to be seen, to be felt. Beyond that, they wanted Reiner to know that he was all of those things. It was what I had hoped for, what I couldn’t alone give, didn’t believe I could.
I was relieved.
And a little lonely.
Zeke shuffled beside me, rattling a bag of jelly eyeballs beneath my nose. When I turned to him, acutely aware that I had been staring at Reiner too long, he was smirking. With a wriggle of his eyebrows he handed one sweet to me and strolled out of the shop.
There was one event we had put off. Porco had said it was best the later we did it, when less people would be going in and the real ghosts would come out; the Ghost Hunt through the pumpkin patch. I reminded him that if ghosts were real, they wouldn’t stick to his schedule
“You think we’re gonna see real ghosts?” Pieck asked, regret fogging her expression at who she had chosen to hook up with on the sly. Or so I guessed.
“I can’t do this anymore, please let me go home.” Bertholdt whined.
The queue wasn’t all that long but it was harrowing for the poor guy. His requests were denied, and we were rushed through by weary workers, checking their watches, then a mock greenhouse where we were handed cheap flashlights and regular goggles – Zeke tutted about hygiene - and out into the actual vegetable patch owned by the farm.
Bloody bold of them considering how potent the cider had been earlier. They were strewn about the place, magnificent large pumpkins and squash flourishing amongst their vines and disturbed soil.
Colt kicked one of the pumpkins Reiner had crouched beside to inspect (I hid a giggle at that too, he looked so serious), lightly with the side of his foot, “They’re fake!”
Pieck cheered, “We solved the mystery.”
A whistle blew, “Hands off the props!” It was the crew, a girl younger than all of us but far more done with life.
Porco pointed an accusational finger back at them, “You’re hiding something! Is it an ancient burial ground under these props?” How much had he drunk?
She waved her walkie-talkie at us to warn us to settle down, or she would call for our removal. We had made it so far, it was not worth it to throw it all away over a plastic seasonal vegetable. Back to the path we were.
Bertholdt had found a little comfort with Colt, who had no interest in the ghost hunting aspect of the evening. Leading them away from the cast hiding behind various garden ornaments in pasty makeup and fade-out rags to look at the other faux foods, he was the antithesis of fear. Pieck and Porco were making Zeke walk ahead of them. They weren’t scared, they kept saying, only making a human shield.
That left me and Reiner. Again.
There was no more cider to make us heady, or music to sway to, no promise of a night to unfold, no privacy at all really. But I could feel him fill the space beside me.
“Here,” He held out his arm like it was change, or a bottle of water I‘d asked for, and not the muscular limb that I wanted to grab every day and hang from like some wild being “If you need to hold onto something. Could get spooky.”
I eyed it sceptically. In the lowlight, Reiner’s angles were daunting. That marble, Adonis thing was really working for him even as his ghost-hunting goggles were bushed back at his hairline, messing with his do. I was seconds away from mussing it all up. Mine had been hanging around my neck, too tight to wear, clattering against my necklace. “I thought you wanted me to run from you earlier,” I said.
He sighed, pressing back the smile he wanted with the hard purse of his lips, “The grounds uneven.”
“I’m not scared of falling.” For him I was.
“Maybe you’ll get cold.”
“Hmm, a multi-purpose arm. What more can it do?” I grasped his arm and held it up like I was inspecting the sturdiness of a footstool, “Do tell.”
The corner of his mouth curved up and he sniffed, “I suppose it can do a fair bit more.”
I wanted him to show me what more it could do.
Even as he said it, he dropped his arm, regret flooding his brief easy-going mood; like he had gone too far. Like he stopped before he felt caught.
Earlier, it had been easy. Before they had gate-crashed and reminded me of everything beyond the two of us, platonic though we were; now I could not forget every reason why it was best I never crossed the line with Reiner. His heart was big and aching; so little could knock him back. I wanted him to come back out, not force him to expose his soul anymore.
“Having you with me, I’m sure it will keep the ghosts away.” I nudged his side with my elbow. Disappointed though I was, I forced myself to keep it light.
A white, flowing cast member scurried from one corner to the next and we both shone our light on it, “Was this worth waiting for?” Reiner groaned, unimpressed.
“Porco seems to think so.”
They were having fun, I could see them creeping and peeping behind the scarecrows, pointing with excitement at ‘ectoplasm’ which was 100% duck poop; even as Bertholdt was ripping his hair out, clutching his chest, having a breakdown on the spot. The screams of delight from them were unusually wholesome.
“Is this enough horror farm for you?” Reiner whispered, leaning down, his arms crossed.
The only thing scary was how jealous I was. That the others were so candid with their affection with him. That he was right there but I didn’t know what to do. Was frightened of his recoils. The others made it easy, made me wonder that if Reiner really, genuinely thought of me as someone he could… like, that they would be okay with it.
Watching the way that the unofficial Pieck and Porco clung on each other, playfully teased as though it was nothing, the way Eren and Mikasa were so shamelessly into each other, the way Annie and Armin walked hand in hand with such ease towards the corn field-
Wait.
I wasn’t the only one who saw it. Reiner’s mouth formed a little ‘O’, like a guppy.
And she spotted us too, because Annie was about to make a dash for it. Porco yelled, making all those (including the ghosts) jump in the surrounding clearing, “You’re dad got shorter, huh Annie?”
“Armin? Of all the…” Pieck trailed off, marching after them.
“Shame on her!” Colt grinned, following in her direction, Bertholdt hanging on as his flashlight trembled in his hand, barely comprehending the latest unfolding event, on his heels. Zeke pulled up the rear and in no real rush. A plume of smoke billowed above his head as he lit yet another cigarette.
I wrapped my coat closer to me, tucking my hands under my arms, like a straight-jacket. We were left alone (bar the staff) and now something hung on to us, an ellipses from earlier. I wanted to say a whole lot of different things, but all I could think of was, “Should we follow them?”
“I don’t want to.” He sighed.
I shook my head, “The peace and quiet is kind of nice.”
“That’s it,” Sheepishly, he glanced down at me, “I always find that when I’m with you.”
What could I say to that? He stared me down for as long as he could before dropping his head again. The ground was very interesting, had been all night. With a scuff, he kicked at some loose dirt with his toe.
My heart was dropkicking my ribs, my head was telling me not to read into it and yet Reiner had a way of pleading for me to accept him. I was so ready to hold on with all might. But what was I accepting? What way could I and not get hurt or hurt him? What was on the table?
And he was looking again. Forcing himself to, “I mean it.” He said.
Fucking hell.
Beyond, the cornfield was rustling again. Porco’s loud voice bemoaned that they couldn’t catch up to them.
Reiner didn’t say anything. I heard a sharp intake of breath from him, was about to turn to see if he was okay but was grabbed, his strong hand wrapped around my wrist. Before I could blink, he was dragging me into the towering corn in the opposite direction, just as the others were emerging; they didn’t notice our departure.
Reiner followed the guide of his torch, and I trailed behind, finding the burst of adrenaline pumping through my veins propelling me through some rather embarrassing ragged breathing.
When we slowed down, we were flanked on all sides by stalks, forced into a pocket, our bodies once again moulding in the air between us. I shifted awkwardly, bent double, clutching my knees wheezing but grinning like an idiot, almost smothered by the large leaves cocooning the corn. He barely broke a sweat. Yet his chest heaved, rising and falling in what some would have found almost pornographic. I was some.
“What was that about?” I giggled, giddy and dopey and terribly unsure if I had any right to feel those things.
His fingers laced behind the back of his head, arms up and biceps flexing beneath his sleeves. Lower than that, a peak of skin flashed as his shirt lifted; of course that would have been incredibly revealing too, some heel-knocking kind of miracle teasing through.
And then he said, “I’ve wanted to do that all night.” He pounded the air on the last words, sucking in the night air.
I swayed on the spot.
Still all breath, he was holding back a smile again, turning a little from me to hide his face, “Was that okay?”
“To drag me into bushes?” I snorted.
He faltered, “I guess this wasn’t what you were hoping for when you invited me here. Look, I should have said something sooner, maybe I’m jumping the gun- After all this- I shouldn’t have said anything- I’m messing this up.” He was deflating quickly, his own adrenaline was receding. I could see him thinking, the cogs clunking around his pretty head; it needed to be stopped.
“Yo, Reiner.” I pressed my palm to his heart, “I got to spend time with you and I think I got to see you happy.  I miss- we miss you when you’re hiding away but today all I saw was you being here with us, present. That was all I wanted today.”
He stared at my hand.
Yep, I knew it. I had overstepped. Not very platonic…
“I was glad when you only asked me.” He murmured, covering my fingers with his own, skin burning mine. “Those guys are such morons. Without you, maybe I would have dipped early… In the end, I was glad that I had you- I mean, that you were here… Thank you”
I gnawed on my lip, considering the little facts I was hauling together. Presumptions were my enemy. “You and me,” I flapped the minor gap between us, “So, do you ever think about it? About more?”
His shoulders slumped “Yeah, all the time… And it scares the hell out of me.”
I shuffled closer, contemplating once again, “More than the Chainsaw Maze?”
He flashed his teeth in a wide grin, shaking his head, “For sure.”
“Can I show you something that scares me?”
The air was still, we could not hear the staff or our friends, the rows of maize stifling all sound, engulfing us deeper in whatever this was. I trembled; the temperature was dropping on this autumn night, yet the heat from his body hit me in rhythmic waves. His breaths were deep. Sultry even as his Adams apple bobbed.
The nod was minute.
I dared to touch his skin, my fingers trailed up his neck, whispering along his stubble, tracing his broad jaw before cupping his cheeks. On my tip toes, I strained just a little.
And I kissed him. Catching his full lip between my own, it was just a caress. Velvet smooth and better than I could have imagined the shape of him with my own was a perfect fit. His jaw twitched as he relinquished beneath my gentle touch.
I kept it brief. When I pulled back, I examined his face. We were holding our breath; I was still.
When he kissed me, it was firmer. With his whole body. Wrapping me tight in his embrace, large hands pressed firm against my shoulders and spine, his lips were hungry, I could feel the power all the way in my toes. His rock solid abs, his firm hips, strong arms robbed me of strength and I let him hold me.
My hands had found a way into his hair, pushed the goggles off his head. Our breaths were so heavy, the wet sound of our kiss filling my ears, I never heard it’s gentle thud on the earth beneath us, joining the torches we had abandoned some time ago.
Teasing, his tongue brushed my lips. A moan escaped me.
Reiner drew back. Swollen and wet, I couldn’t take my eyes off his lips, even as they hesitated to form words, “This…”
“Exposure therapy?” I murmured, “I don’t think I’m fully cured though.”
He chuckled, “I don’t think I ever will be.” He dipped his mouth to mine again, “I’ve been waiting for this too.” This time our tongues did meet. His teeth nibbled on my lip
Hands began to roam, following the curve of my waist, firm on my hips. His had never felt so large until they cupped my arse. Of course, I had untangled from his roots, snaked my fingers beneath his jacket and revelled in the heat of his skin through his shirt, warming my hands, feeling the impressive form beyond. I was yet to brave his butt; I had enjoyed it plenty of times as one would an impressive sculpture,  but I would just about keel over if I finally got my fill of it.
Besides, the groan that rumbled from him shuddered through me. I’d made him do that… I wanted to hear more of his noises.
Reiner pulled back again, “This okay, then?”
I whined, “Christ. You think it isn’t?”
“I’m just checking.” He nipped on my cheek, the corner of my mouth, my jaw, my chin. His tongue snuck out when he placed a kiss on my throat. Lower down, his fingers were teasing the hem of my t-shirt, could feel the rough pads of his finger tips on the bare skin. “Do you think we would have done this if the others hadn’t turned up?”
I was practically purring, his kisses were so sweet, “Probably not. I’m not too sure how this even happened.”
“About time though.” His hands returned to my waist and he leant back. It was a little like being shoved off the magic carpet ride. Eyes roaming my dishevelled clothes, taking in my face; it must have looked different. I felt like I had engorged, that every part of me throbbed beneath his touch. His inquisitive eyes, the way he stared at me, I may as well have been naked “I’m gonna wake up tomorrow, and still think I’m dreaming.” His fingers, idly, squeezed the flesh of my middle, “I like you a lot.” He crooned.
“I should hope so.” I traced the hollow of his collar bone, “Let’s do this.”
Reiner nodded. It was probably the biggest smile I had seen that evening, the first he let out full-throttle. I wanted to see it every day.
“I love when you do that.” I said.
“What?” His brow furrowed.
“Beam.” I placed a kiss on the dimple in cheek,
“I’m not sure I can keep it up.” He was blushing, one of his hands shooting up to rub at his face, masking my discovery.
“Not asking you to. I’m not asking you to be anything other than you, Reiner. Good, bad, moody or hyper… sensible or stupid. I want all of it; I’ll take whatever you’re offering.” I took the hand and grazed the knuckles against my lips. “You’re okay Reiner. You know that? Don’t change.”
He was on the brink of protest; his eyes were darting sideways, even as he held me in his arms. Freeing the hand, I held his face again, caught him in my stare, “Please? I like you so much. Believe me. Otherwise I would be saying all of this to someone else.”
This time when he kissed me, it was soft and restrained. Each brush of his lips slow, savouring, an inch from bruising; I could taste him all day; “Let me be yours, If you’ll have me.” He said against my lips.
I nodded.
“MAYBE THE GHOSTS GOT THEM!” Porco was yelling somewhere not too far away. More and more I was associating him with those ridiculous dogs that bark at the window when postal workers walked by.
“I’m sorry about them. I really am.” Reiner grumbled, resting his forehead on my mine, “I can’t tell if their timing is impeccable or dreadfully off.”
“Why? We can’t control what they do.” I shrugged, reluctant as I wriggled free of him. He huffed as I did. In the end he held my hands in his, swinging my arms. “You know though, it was kind of weird how they knew where to find us earlier.”
“About that…” He took great interest in the motion he made.
I quirked a brow, “What?”
“Bertholdt dropped the ball there.”
“But he only tried to stop the prank right? How would he know about us meeting up?”
“I told him.”
I pressed my lips together. I didn’t expect Bertholdt to have loose lips but his resolve was on the weaker side. All they could have done was ask where Reiner was and he would have spilled the beans rather than lie. His sweat could have screamed the truth to be fair.
“He kept telling me to tell you how I felt.” He said. Well, he’d also confided in him too. Poor Bertie wasn’t really one for secrets. I could barely hide my glee at the thought of Reiner talking about me, though. Bertholdt suffering was not in vain, if just for this brief delight.
“-but what if they have? Then who do we call?” Porco’s grating voice was booming ever closer.
Zeke replied, “Whatever they’re doing, it’s not paranormal.”
I held my hands up, guilty. “Hell, I can’t scold you for that. I should have said something, too. Who am I to talk?” I snorted, just as Pieck began the opening lines the Good Witch sang to the Munchkins.
Reiner squeezed my hand, “They’re so annoying.”
I agreed. “They miss you.”
“I know.” He chewed on his lip, thinking to himself.
I tugged him along, behind me, my turn to lead the next steps, “Come on, let’s really shock them.”
He glanced at our joined hands, and smiled a wicked smile. Before he let me go anywhere, however, he tugged me back. Cradling my jaw in his delicate grasp, he kissed me, sucking briefly on my bottom lip. His thumb brushed my chin before he let go again.
The peace was officially ruptured by Colt and Porco carrying on the chorus to the rest of the Munchkinland song. Bertholdt was protesting, not loud enough to hear much. I was certain I even heard Zeke tell them to pack it in.
We gathered the torches and Reiner’s goggles and weaved through the corn, making a complicated way around their approach.
Were they shocked when they found us hand-in-hand? Not really. But they were crapping themselves as we finally jumped out. We had darted about, relishing in teasing them, rattling stalks and throwing pebbles; recreating the menace of our favourite horror films. Reiner even managed an impressive gurgling noise.
Porco had to wipe tears from his cheeks, soothed by Bertholdt who for once wasn’t frightened; he stared to the sky above and thanked some silent entity, the burden free from him at last. Nothing would scare him again; he had no more secrets to keep. Screw the ghosts.
Pieck was crouched; head buried in her arms, muttering about how unnecessary it was of us to get them like we did and Colt… well he patted his chest, “Phew! No missing persons reports for us!”
That was some good payback.
Zeke smirked, noticing as our fingers quickly entwined with one another’s when our hysterical laughter subsided, “Called it.”
“It’s where we go from here, right?” Reiner shrugged, tugging me closer. Zeke rolled his eyes and I stuck my tongue out.
For disturbing other customers, recklessness, and ruining the attractions… we did get kicked out, eventually.
......
Hope you enjoyed <3
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vonnez · 19 hours ago
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SHY CONFESSIONS
jean x reader. gender neutral. modern au. fluff.
thinking about jean getting shy and awkward when confessing his love to you; his long-term best friend <3.. (wrote this while i was going to bed, i apologize if it isn't that good and/or confusing </3)
link page.
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Both of you sat upon the grassy hill. Jean next to you, proping himself up with one of his elbows. As you sit next to him, staring up at the night sky as well, he couldn't help but stare at you. You were always so beautiful. He didn't realize how much he'd fallen for you until months ago. When you looked over to him, noticing his gaze, you smiled warmly.
His cheeks were tinted pink with blush at your notice, his eyes darting back to the sky without a word. To say he loved you was an understatement, he was beyond in love. All he could wish for was that you felt just as strongly as him. To hope that you'd accept his feelings with passion.
Though you hadn't even begun dating, and he still felt the butterflies fluttering in his stomach every time he thought of what it would be like to kiss you. To hold you in his arms and tell you he loved you. That you're his. And he'll have forever to prove that he loves you, even after death.
He'd always wanted you to know his feelings, however, he had no idea where to start. It was nerve wracking having to ask you out, or even asking if you wanted to go on a date. He was terrified. Of rejection, of making things awkward or confusing, and of messing your years of friendship up. Even though he knew there was no possible way of ruining his life without actually trying, he still felt the weight of anxiety and uncertainty. But he had to try, and see if it worked out. If not, then he was truly alone.
Even though he was scared of what the outcome could be, he still pushed forward, hoping for the best. He took a deep breath as his gaze fell from the sky, moving back to view your relaxed figure, "(Y/n).."
You turned to look at him, tilting your head slightly as you studied his face. Your gaze fell onto his chest, where his blue shirt was hanging off one shoulder. Your fingers gently ran across the material before resting on top of it. The fabric was soft and cool against your skin, causing goosebumps to rise on your arm.
His heart pounded harder against his chest as he noticed you caressing his shirt. He swallowed hard before taking your hand from atop the shirt, pulling it towards himself and intertwining his fingers with yours. He gave your hands a squeeze before he lifted them up, placing a soft kiss on your knuckles.
Your face grew red with surprise as his gaze remained locked with your own. A soft giggle escaped your mouth, causing him to blush, "What is it, Jean?" You whispered, leaning in close to him. Your forehead rested against his, feeling his warm breath against your cheeks and lips.
Without another word shared, he slowly closed his eyes, before leaning down, pressing his lips firmly against yours. He felt your body tense, then slowly relax. Your lips moving in sync. You could feel your heart race faster as his lips pressed against yours. They were soft and smooth, and felt wonderful against yours. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to you as he leaned further in.
The two of you pulled away from each other after some time, gazing into each other's eyes as you both caught your breath. Jean saw your flushed face, feeling his heart skip a beat once again. He could tell your heartbeat was beating fast too, and he felt his nervousness bubble and mix with excitement.
"That was.. That was nice." You murmured. Jean nodded slowly as he brought his free hand up to cup your face. "I've been wanting to do that for months now." He half-whispered, giving you a small smile. He could feel his cheeks grow hotter as he looked into your eyes. He was glad you didn't push him away and yell out "ew", he felt so relieved that you weren't disgusted with him. You returned the smile as he removed his hands from your face, bringing one up to play with the ends of your hair.
It was silent between the two of you, neither knowing how to continue from here. However, the atmosphere wasn't awkward as Jean thought it would be, rather... It was nice. Comforting, almost. The only sound that filled the air was the wind rustling the trees surrounding the two of you.
He broke the silence, chuckling nervously as he leaned down once more for another short kiss. He smiled, staring with hope in his eyes as he trailed his hands to your waist, "(Y/n).. I got a question... Do you-" He sighed as he stopped talking mid-way, resting his head against your shoulder with sudden overwhelming difficulty to spout the words. You smiled, rubbing your fingers through his hair and down his scalp, "I know what you're going to ask." You cupped his face with your hands, smiling as you kissed his forehead, "I love you, Jean. I've loved you for a long time. Was the kiss not enough to prove it?"
He shook his head, chuckling at your remark. "It was. I just.. wanted to hear you say it," he paused, "I love you too. Much more than you can imagine, (Y/n). I love you.. so fucking much."
He chuckled quietly, resting his head on your shoulder once more. The silence fell between the two of you once more as you both moved to lay side by side and in each other's arms, watching as dark clouds passed above the two of you. After a while, Jean broke the silence again, glancing up towards the sky, "What are we supposed to do now?" He questioned, turning his head to meet your gaze.
You smiled softly as you snuggled further into Jean's embrace, "I think I want to stay here longer.. Just in your arms.. And looking at the sky." You yawned, resting your head against his chest. "As long as we're together, nothing else matters." Jean smiled and laid his head beside your own, looking back up at the sky with a blushing grin on his face, "Sounds perfect.."
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pplanetkeyah · 2 days ago
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⸺ 𝒃𝒂𝒃𝒚, 𝒚𝒐𝒖’𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒂𝒅𝒅𝒆𝒔𝒕
synopsis: eren thinks you’re the prettiest girl in the world
↳ fluff, black fem!reader, excessive use of pet names (baby, princess, mamas, etc.), and suggestive themes
based on Les by Childish Gambino
• ₊°✧︡ ˗ ˏ ˋ ♡ ˎˊ ˗
you were getting ready to go on a date with your boyfriend, eren, and you couldn't decide on which dress would look better.
on one hand you had a silver satin midi dress that flowed beautifully, it had thin straps and complimented your skin but then you had a black off the shoulder that you just bought - it was gorgeous, the straps had diamonds on them and they shined in the light. it was a hard decision, honestly.
you eventually made your choice (whichever dress you want) and you headed to your vanity to do your hair and makeup before getting dressed, freshly showered and your hair still damp from washing it. you quickly blow dried your hair and curled it.
as you started to do your makeup, eren came in and watched you from the doorway, "hey baby!" you smiled over to him.
"damn, you're so fucking pretty" eren said, leaving his spot by the door and walking over to you, kissing you passionately.
"rennn, i have to get ready,"
" haven't even started anything yet, mama." you rolled your eyes and continued to do your makeup, eren kept distracting you with kisses on your neck. you giggled when he kissed the ticklish spot on your neck.
"ren, go get ready. i'm almost done
he groaned and rolled his eyes with a smile, "fine, i'll be back to spoil the prettiest girl in the world."
you blow him a kiss and finished your makeup, you set it with a setting spray and walked over to your bed where your outfit laid, you put on your stockings and then your dress. you went over to the mirror to admire how the dress fit on you, it hugged every curve and you were satisfied.
you walked back to your vanity and decided on which perfume to put on. you sprayed your versace perfume - you smelled amazing, you strapped on your heels and walked to your mirror analyzing your look, trying to figure out what it was missing.
fuck, baby, you're so- i have no words." eren walked over to you, pulling you from behind and hugging tightly. "you smell good, this the versace i got you?"
"yeah."
you turned to look at him, he didn't look bad himself. he had on a black button up and black slacks and his prada loafers with silver rings residing on his fingers. "you don't look too bad yourself, baby."
eren smiled, "not better than you, i'm so lucky to bag the sexiest girl in the universe,"
you walked away with a smile and put on jewelry, grabbing your purse and holding your hand for eren to grab it.
"i can't believe i'm letting you out the house looking like this. we should've just stayed home so i could have a different full course meal."
"eren let's go. the quicker we get there, the quicker we get home and i give you head."
he rushed you out the house.
➽───────────────❥
author's note, i think eren deserves good things fr. this was my first ever (character) x reader fic and i hope you guys liked it!
© 𝙥𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙣𝙚𝙩𝙠𝙚𝙮𝙖𝙝 | do not steal or repost to other websites such as wattpad, tiktok or ao3. reblogs are fine
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ficsforeren · 3 months ago
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Falling
Pairing: Eren Jaeger X Female Reader
Genre: College Boyfriend AU, Smut, Fluff, Angst, Hurt/Comfort
Summary: In the absence of your warmth, Eren Jaeger begins to reminisce the loving memories he’s shared with you in the past three years, regretting how your first fight turned into something that ended it all.
Lyrics are taken from this beautiful song: Harry Style’s Falling.
Warnings: unprotected sex, oral sex, alcohol consumption, swearing
Word Count: 15k+
Poster Art by @_sonagee on Twitter
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I’m in my bed
And you’re not here
The small, barely prominent crack on the ceiling of his bedroom has always gone unnoticeable. It stands only as a silent witness of the meeting between a pair of plump lips to redder ones, the breathless sounds of frantic moans, and the sacred exchange of loving words. But not tonight. Tonight, as he lays on his bed, sheets all crumpled but with the absence of your warmth, Eren notices everything.
He notices how quiet his room—his entire apartment—feels when it’s only the sound of his own soft breathing that fills the air. His black shirt is fully unbuttoned, his skin a golden canvas missing your marks. The tattoos that painted his rib cages are no longer coated by the shade of your lipstick. 
His pillow, no longer smelling like your favorite shampoo, is covered by his long chestnut hair, now all tousled and unkempt. He misses the way you threaded your fingers through them, the way you lulled him to sleep with your little hum, his head a comforting weight on your lap. The walls, the carpet, the bedsheets, the framed photographs that remind him of the joy that used to bloom on his face—everything feels monochromatic. Empty. Shallow. Because ever since you walked out of his life, you’ve taken all the colors with you, leaving him solely in black and white.
And now, Eren doesn’t know what to do anymore. Or to feel. He’s a puppet missing his puppeteer.
And there’s no one to blame
But the drink in my wandering hands
With the bitter taste of vodka sitting on his tongue, he closes his eyes, allowing himself to remember but not forgive the words he once said to you. 
With your name echoing through the labyrinth of his mind, regret starts to suffocate him at once.
Forget what I said
It’s not what I meant
And I can’t take it back
I can’t unpack the baggage you left
What hurts from a break-up is not the parting of two hearts, but the memories that had been drawn deep within them. It’s not the kiss that he misses, it’s the taste of your lips—the faint scent of cherry that sits pale in comparison to your natural flavor. It’s the way they move against his own, timid at first then consuming all at once. And how there will be no other girl that will taste the same, feel the same, or be able to draw out the same kind of feelings from him.
It’s funny, Eren thinks, how he can only see your smile behind his closed eyelids these days, but he doesn’t find himself laughing. He can’t even remember the last time he found a reason to smile, now that you’re gone.
The moon was hiding behind thick clouds, he remembers, that night when fate walked in and introduced you to one another.
***
Eren’s eyes were glued to the silver screen, adrenaline pumping through his veins as he witnessed the battle between the villain and the protagonist grow deadly. It had been a while since he last saw a movie in a theater, and the experience was certainly different. The thrill of it soon perished, however, when the sweet scent of your shampoo fleeted through his nose.
Your head was falling onto his shoulder as you waned into slumber. Unbeknownst to you, you had been leaning your weight entirely to a stranger whose bergamot perfume compelled you to focus on anything besides the movie. It was as pleasant as it was distracting. But after being sleep-deprived for three days, exhaustion finally took over and you fell asleep so deeply that you didn’t even have the strength to dream.
Your weight on his body was unfamiliar but it wasn’t uncomfortable for twenty-year-old Eren Jaeger. As he took a glance at your face, it wasn’t your beauty that kept him frozen. It was how peaceful you looked, almost like an enervated child curling up after spending her time chasing butterflies on the field.
Eren shifted carefully on his seat, attempting his best to give you comfort by providing more space for you to lean your weight on. Then he stayed still, his lips bowed and his smile never faltered away. The movie was long forgotten. He didn’t spare a glance at the screen even when people were gasping at the sight of the protagonist dying in his lover’s arms. He felt intrigued by the thought of your name, wondering whether it would sound as nice as the soft breathing that flowed past your lips.
When the credits rolled, Eren told Armin and Jean in hushed whispers to leave without him, throwing icy glares at them when they grinned devilishly at the sight of you sleeping on his shoulder. He went as far as kicking Jean on the shin when his voice rose too loudly, afraid that he’d wake you up, which made the other man complain because certainly, the background music was louder than anything else in the room. Nevertheless, you were still deep in your sleep.
Eren begged for more time when one of the concessions workers asked him to leave. Refused and left with no other solution, he sighed and turned his head toward you.
“Hey,” he murmured, his heart palpitating in anticipation of finally hearing your voice. “Sorry, but uhh… We need to go.”
His voice was foreign to your ears but it was so deep, so soothing, almost like a lullaby, that you snuggled closer, wanting nothing more than to listen to it forever. It took Eren three times more with his cheeks reddening to call upon you until you finally found the power to detach yourself from your stupor.
“Hey there.” A boy—a beautiful boy—with glowing, sun-kissed skin and a pair of sharp green, enticing eyes with a gaze intense enough to kiss your skin with fire, greeted you as you blinked yourself awake. His voice was as deep as the ocean, as sweet as honey. His hair was tied up in a messy bun, making him seem juvenile, matching the little twinkle in his eyes. He beamed at you with a smile so warm that it nearly melted your heart, and you decided ah, I don’t ever want to wake up from this dream.
It was when the usher popped into your vision, stating, “I’m sorry, Ma’am, but we’re closing,” that you internally screamed oh God, no, this isn’t a dream, what have I done?
“So that’s what he said.” Eren’s smile was sheepish with a hint of teasing, and your heart moved on its own, yearning for him to display you another one. “But if you still have time to spare, we can go get some coffee or something. I can fill you in on the details.”
“D-details?” Your voice was hoarse from sleep, embarrassingly so. “About what?”
“About the movie you just missed.” The grin he showcased grew wider and this time, it was so utterly mischievous that you had to break your gaze before heat rushed to your face. “The fact that you’re here watching a movie by yourself must mean you’re interested to see how the trilogy ends. I can help you with that.”
“Umm—” You rummaged your purse, pretending like you were searching for something when it was only a poor excuse for you to not be captivated by his eyes longer than you already were. “It’s fine, I can look it up online.”
“But then what should I do with this?” He brought his right hand in the air, pursing his lips. “My arm’s falling asleep. Shouldn’t you take responsibility for it?”
The horrified look on your face made him laugh, and his laughter became the reason why you decided to throw all common sense away and just went with what felt right. “I-I’ll pay for the coffee.”
“Well, then, I’ll make sure to go somewhere expensive.” He threw a wink before he rose to his feet, offering you a hand to help you stand from your seat. “I’m Eren, by the way.” When your skin met, his palm was scorching against your icy one. You told him your name, stammering as you did it and he chuckled. 
You turned flustered. “W-why are you laughing?”
You’re just so cute, he thought. “Nothing. I just thought your name fit you so well.” 
You frowned, not sure if you should take it as a compliment but Eren didn’t give you much time to think. “Umm…” He tarries, looking down to see the way you’re still clutching onto his hand. You were too enticed by his charm, too comfortable with his warmth that you failed to notice anything else.
You followed his gaze, panicking before you released your hold. “I’m sorry, I–”
But he retrieved it again, gripping it tighter than before. “I don’t mind,” he grinned. “It’s too dark to see and I don’t want you to fall down the stairs. But you’re gonna have to treat me to some bagels too. I don’t do this for free.” 
Your jaw dropped but you could only follow after him without a word, your body being tugged forward as he led the way.
You had expected that he would let go once you were out of the theater, knowing how weird it was for strangers to hold hands as lovers do. But when he did, you were still left surprised, not because of his action but the way your heart shriveled in disappointment at the absence of his warmth.
You didn’t realize that you wanted him to hold it longer.
***
Awkward conversations made you anxious but they died before you could finish your coffee. Like a phoenix, they were reborn into something that was supposed to only be shared between friends instead of strangers. With Eren, everything felt so natural, you didn’t even find the will to question it. Stories after stories, you talked to him like he was the most interesting book you’d ever read. His affable, carefree attitude was almost inspiring, breaking through your facade as easy as counting his fingers.
“So, how come you went to the movies by yourself?” Eren asked, his coffee long abandoned on the table as he was more drawn to you and the little smile you retained on your lips. “Boyfriend too busy to come along?”
A bit embarrassed, you brought your head down, hiding your eyes behind your fringe. “I don’t… have a boyfriend.”
Eren raised an eyebrow, lying his chin on his palm as he rested his elbow on the table. The way he stared at you made your stomach flip, and he reciprocated with nothing but a hum, tapping a finger to his cheek. His tiny smile held a thousand meanings.
You hurriedly took a sip of your coffee. “I, uh, I had some free time today and it’s my favorite movie franchise so I just had to see how it ended. But all my friends have seen it, so…”
“They didn’t invite you?”
“They did. I was just busy with work.”
His voice dropped an octave lower. “And they didn’t wait for you.”
“It’s—” Your chest tightened. “It’s fine, really. I mean, it would only make me feel bad if they waited for me. My schedule is crazy. I haven’t been sleeping properly for three days because of my deadlines.”
“Yeah, I noticed that.” He chuckled and you noticed how his teeth were a little jagged. “I could still smell your drool on my shirt, actually.”
“Oh, God,” you spluttered. “I’m—Please let me wash it for you.”
“And you expect me to walk home half-naked?” His naughty eyebrow raise made your skin tingle. “Or are you inviting me to stay over?” Seeing you part your mouth but lost for words, Eren tittered. “I’m kidding. I would’ve waited for you, though. To see that movie together, I mean. No matter how busy you were, I would. And even if I had watched it first, I wouldn’t mind watching it with you again.”
You shook your head, both in an attempt to disagree with his words and to erase your bashfulness away. “But that would be a waste of money—”
“That wouldn’t be a waste, and you know why?” He leaned closer, body almost halfway through the table. “Because for me, it’s never about the movie. It’s about watching it together with you. About us complaining about the plot holes, talking about the bad acting, laughing at each other when something reminds us of one of our inside jokes. That’s what makes it worth it.” As Eren realized how your eyes were locked with his, your breath hitching in your throat with the sudden proximity, he quickly plummeted back to his seat, flushed. “I mean, it applies to everyone—not you, specifically.”
So he could be shy, you concluded in your mind. And what else could he be? Maybe buried underneath those impish grins, laid a caring heart. Maybe he could be the one who’d understand when you missed three of his calls as you tried to survive your deadlines. Maybe he would cook you breakfast instead of just reminding you to take one. Maybe he could taste sweeter than any boy you’d ever kissed.
So when his curiosity for you matched the intensity you had towards him, you let your walls crumble, welcoming him with open arms.
***
“It’s going to rain,” Eren mentioned, eyes observing the night sky. Dark clouds rumbled deeply as they hovered above you, giving an ominous feeling. You were walking next to him, knuckles nearly grazing one another from how near you were though none of you was brave enough to close the distance.
Although obvious, you decided to humor him. “Yeah? How can you tell?”
“‘Cause I’m psychic.” The added wink at the end was a bonus but to you, it became the main reason why you had to drag your gaze to your feet. Funny how for the past three hours, your smile never faded away–almost to the point that your cheekbones began to hurt–when you could barely remember the last time you found amusement in anything.
“Are you cold?” he asked, and you promptly shook your head no. Unfortunately for you, your body betrayed you. Eren chuckled softly when he noticed the shivers that ran through your spine. “Want me to lend you my jacket?”
“Oh—no, it’s fine, I’m—”
“It was a rhetorical question, dummy.” The body heat that was imprinted on his black leather jacket made you feel well aware of just how warm he actually was. The scent of his bergamot perfume was overwhelmingly delightful, but there was another scent underneath it; something that reminded you of summer, sunlight, and sandalwood which made you wonder, maybe, if he wasn’t wearing this perfume, he’d smell just like this.
He pushed your hair away from your collar, straightening the jacket until it enveloped you entirely with its warmth. “Better?”  
You eventually managed to snap yourself out of your reverie. “Were you always this smooth with women?”
“No, I just practiced in front of my mirror a lot.”
“Practiced what?”
He wiggled his eyebrows. “The art of seduction.”
“Is that so?” Your cheeks began to warm but it was probably because of the jacket. “Guess I should try that sometimes,” you joked.
“I don’t think you need it,” he cooed, bending himself down a little so you were eye-to-eye. “You already have me wrapped around your fingers from the second I laid my eyes on you.” When you turned petrified by his words, his laughter reverberated through the air. “Now, that’s an example. How did I do?”
Ignoring your racing heart, you retorted, “Terrible.”
“Then will you let me practice on you so I can get better?”
Just like that, you found yourself sporting another smile. “Now, that was smooth.”
Life had been dull, with you repeating the same routines over and over again. Your job had taken up most of your precious hours. Being with Eren was a breath of fresh air. A stranger who was attentive to every little gesture you made, every little word that escaped your mouth, as much as he easily stole your attention away. His confidence was inspiring, his laughter was contagious, and you adored every little bit of his quirkiness. Once you opened yourself to him, Eren burst in like fireworks, painting a million shades of colors on your monochromatic world.
“This feels like a date,” he said, smiling diffidently to himself. “Would it be okay for me to think of it as a date?”
Suddenly, your vocabulary had diminished into nothing but his name. You nodded, and surprisingly enough for you, Eren snickered, hand reaching out to playfully—almost childishly—ruffle your strands. “Thanks. Then a date it is.”
You wished time could go slower so you could savor the moment, memorizing the heart shape of his lips when he grinned.
You stopped in front of your apartment building, a breeze of cold night wind caressing your cheeks. “Umm, this is me,” you announced stiffly, dismantling his jacket from your body. “Thank you… for this.”
Eren’s fingertips grazed against your knuckles and it took longer than necessary for him to retrieve it from your hand. “You’re welcome.”
“And also…” Your mind strayed away from forming the right words as you watched him wear back his jacket, how it fitted him so perfectly, how effortlessly handsome he looked in a simple white tee and a pair of dark jeans. “Umm, thank you for walking me home.”
“Thank you for giving me the chance.” His smile reminded you of spring, your favorite season, the way it blossomed on his face, so warm and beautiful. “I could’ve been a serial killer, you know. Showing me where you live isn’t too smart.”
“You don’t look like a serial killer to me.”
“Yeah?” The same angelic smile turned devilish. “Then, how do I look like to you?”
You were fast to pivot on your heels. “It’s late. I should go.”
His laughter filled the air. “Wait, you haven’t said good night yet.”
“Then good ni—“ Your word died on your tongue when a pair of plump lips found their way to your cheek. They only lightly brushed against your skin but they stole your entire breath away as if he was tasting your mouth. He retraced his steps before you could respond properly, biting the corner of his lip as uncertainty filled his eyes. 
“Sorry if that’s—“ Eren cleared his throat. He was visibly worried, afraid that he might have gone too fast and too far. “Umm, good night.”
You felt lightheaded, and you shortly blamed it on the amount of espresso you’d gulped too much during the day. “Good night…”
Eren was too timorous to meet your eyes, which was why you were brave enough to sneak a glimpse at his face. You decided that his sly, confident grin looked alluring on his face, but they were nothing compared to how adorable he seemed when he evinced that nervous, shy look on his face.
It took a few seconds before he gave you a meek nod and walked away, taking the same direction from where you came. Something queasy grew inside your stomach, your grip around your purse tightened. Is it all there is? Am I never going to see him again? With a heavy sigh, you walked toward your building.
Maybe he doesn’t like me that much, you continued to ponder. But what do I do now? I still want to see him. I don’t want to let him go without knowing whether I could see him again.
God, for once, just do something for yourself. You clenched your jaw, reprimanding yourself. Do something that makes you happy! Be brave!
Taking a deep breath, you chose to gamble.
At the same time you turned on your heels, shouting his name, Eren was calling upon yours and you both met each other halfway, breathless when it didn’t even take you more than twenty steps to reach one another.
“H-hi,” you greeted, voice quivering but not as much as the fingers you curled around the hem of your blouse.
“Hey.” Eren’s gaze softened. “I was wondering—”
“Can we meet again?” You didn’t intend to cut him off so abruptly, but the anxiety within you nearly made your heart burst that you ended up asking the question without waiting for him to finish his. “I—I mean—I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt—”
“Yes, a thousand times yes,” he answered in one breath, with his sentence ending in chuckles. “God, you’re so adorable, do you know that?”
Your heart was still about to burst but for an entirely different reason. “That’s…” You tucked a loose strand of your hair behind your ear—a habit that seemed to appear whenever you were too embarrassed to function. “That’s great. I mean, the fact that you want to see me again, not about you calling me adorable, I—” Oh, God, okay, stop. “I guess I should leave now…”
He concealed his grin. “Aren’t you going to ask for my number or something?”
You mentally slapped yourself. “Y-yes, that would make it easier.”
The way Eren was gazing at you made you feel like you were about to fall from the edge of your seat. He must think I’m an idiot. But had you been brave enough to see the gleam in his eyes, you would’ve noticed how he was staring at you so adoringly. “Give me your phone then.” When you just stood still, too busy trying to comprehend that a cute boy was really going to give you his number, Eren added, “To add my numbers, Sweetheart. What, do I look like someone who flirts with pretty girls just to steal their phones away?”
“I wasn’t—” You quickly handed him your phone. “Here.”
Eren’s smile grew playful again. “Care to make it interesting?”
“What?”
“I’ll add my numbers except for the last digit. You gotta guess it.”
“What? Why—”
“Because you’re cute,” he repeated, cocking his head as he returned your phone. “And it makes me want to tease you even more.” You unconsciously began to pout and he nearly whimpered at the sight. “Don’t do that, that’s not fair.”
You mumbled quietly, “I don’t like being made fun of.”
“I’m not making fun of you, I’m teasing you. There’s a difference.” He sighed, fingertips aching to reach out and swat your bangs away from your eyes. “A huge difference.”
You jutted out your bottom lip. “Feels the same to me.”
Eren leaned in, his calloused palm finding its way to cup your cheek, lifting your face so the streetlight could illuminate your features. “You need to wash that pout away,” he whispered, eyes slowly drifting down to your lips that you had to remind yourself to breathe. “Or else I won’t be able to hold myself back.”
It was supposed to be just another attempt at teasing you. You knew he only meant it that way. But all traces of playfulness quickly vanished from his face when he noticed your eyes shifting to his lips—just for a split second—but that was enough. He saw the sign, he felt the chemistry, and there was no way he was going to let it pass just like that. Not when he had been thinking the same thing repeatedly for the last three hours you’d spent together.
It wasn’t your first kiss—nor your second or third—but it was the kiss that mattered and you weren’t sure why. Three hours ago, he was a stranger. Now, he sent a trickle of electricity coursing through your bloodstream, as if he was your first love. As if you had been wanting him for years.
A gentle rain began to pour over your heads, tiny droplets staining your cheeks but all you could think about was the way his thumb was caressing your cheekbone, how his lips were warmer and softer than anything you could have imagined, yet fierce and powerful at the same time.
“Am I going too fast?” He asked in a broken whisper, parting away just enough to murmur the question but close enough that you could still feel his words grazing your lips.
“Yes.” But you curled your fingers on the front of his shirt, tugging him closer. Eren sighed into your mouth, eyebrows furrowing as he let himself drown deeper in passion. What started as a chaste kiss became ardent, and you allowed him to taste you enough so that he would fall asleep thinking about your lips. Eren took a hold of your wrist, detaching your grip from his fabric, and moved it up, silently telling you to wind your arms around his neck instead. The second you did it, he melded his lips with yours in a passion that matched the blazing sun, entangling his long arms around your waist, nearly lifting you off your feet as he embraced you tighter.
You wanted to preserve this moment. Right here, kissing fervidly under the soft rain in the arms of a stranger, drowned in the feelings of excitement. Because if you were oxygen, then Eren was dying to breathe.
When it ended, you wished it didn’t have to. Eren’s eyes were heavy and intense as they peered into yours, growing a bit half-lidded when he shifted them back to your lips. “Hey…”
You mirrored his gentle smile, forehead pressing against his. “Hi…”
“I don’t know about you,” he chuckled deeply. “But as far as first kisses go, I think that was the best one the world has ever known.”
You tried to suppress your laughter but failed instantly. “Ren?”
He loved how you were bold enough to call him that way. The way his name rolled off your tongue… It was like you were playing on his heartstrings. “Yeah?”
“Judging from that line, I think you need to practice harder on your art of seduction.”
He pulled you in again, exchanging muffled giggles between playful kisses. “Let’s just go back to kissing for now. I like kissing.”
And if happiness had a form, it would’ve had his smile.
***
It’s almost laughable that the memories that once sparked so much joy in his heart have taken the shape of a javelin, striking him deep in his chest, right where he ached for you the most. It tasted like summer when he kissed you in the rain, and the pain that swells in Eren’s heart whenever the memory of it resurfaces is harder than the storm. And now, it’s the silence of the room—the absence of your presence—that pierces like a dagger through his skin.
But what am I now? What am I now?
What if I’m someone I don’t want around?
I’m falling again. I’m falling again.
I’m falling.
It was easy for him to fall in love with you. So easy, it frightened him at first. After his first relationship, the way his first love shed his heart to pieces, he thought he wouldn’t be able to love someone ever again. Wouldn’t have the courage to even try. But when you came into the picture, Eren didn’t even have the strength to resist. You were everything he ever wanted, an epitome of the woman that graced his dreams. And he was a prisoner, trapped under your spell.
So, why does everything have to end like this?
Now that he’s falling without you catching him, what is he going to do?
He hates who he’s become. He loathes the fact that he can no longer smile as easily as he used to. He despises how grimly he envisions the world these days. As if you were his entire future, and now that you’re gone, his whole world collapses. Eren no longer knows himself as you were the one who defines him. The one who gave meaning to his life. The one who mended his broken heart.
What if I’m down? What if I’m out?
What if I’m someone you won’t talk about?
I’m falling again. I’m falling again.
I’m falling.
You must hate me now, Eren muses, bringing his arm over his face, nibbling at the corner of his lip. The things I said… How I let you go without even giving us a chance… I must have hurt you…
“I’m sorry.”
***
It all began that night, on the day of your twenty-sixth birthday. Two years had passed since you shared your first kiss. Little fights over your differences couldn’t be avoided, but they helped nurture the bond you had with him, making it stronger. And each forgiveness was sincere and rich in kisses. Eren always made sure of that.
As you were fond of movies, your perfect date must involve watching a movie together with him so Eren, dressed unusually handsomely in a white button-down shirt, a pair of black khakis, and a matching black blazer that caught you off guard, took you out to the movie theater—the place where fate once meddled in and brought you to one another.
Knowing your taste, he paid two tickets to see the latest romantic movie, two buckets of salt caramel popcorns, and a coke for him but iced green tea for you, realizing full well how soda had become one of your biggest enemies ever since your diet started. He made sure that your seats were located on the corner top of the theater, private enough for him to snuggle close to you or steal kisses whenever he felt like doing it. You didn’t mind because Eren would only kiss you when you seemed bored, never wanting to bother you when you were too immersed in the movie. He simply kept his hand laced with yours the whole time to make up for the loss.
Complaining about the plot holes and making jokes that only you two could understand had become his habit to keep you entertained during the movie and it was something you always looked forward to. But that night, he was quiet, his eyebrows creasing in irritation but because of what, you were clueless.
“Are you okay?” You asked as you exited the building, this time being the one who reached out for his hand first. Eren stiffened but his shoulders soon relaxed as he intertwined your fingers together.
“I’m fine,” he assured, though his grin never reached his eyes. “Why, do I not look fine?”
You weakly smiled back, uncertain. “You just seem awfully quiet, that’s all.”
He rubbed his nape, somehow looking a bit perturbed. “I just… It made me remember something I’ve been trying my best to forget.”
“You mean the movie?”
“Yeah.” He sighed into the night, puffs of hot air erupting from his slightly chapped lips. “I don’t know about you, but I think the way the movie depicted their long-distance relationship is just bullshit.”
There was so much bitterness in his words that it nearly made you stop walking. Suddenly, there was a thick tension shrouding you, one that made you feel aware that it would be wiser to drop the conversation. But curiosity was eating you from the inside, gnawing like a starving wolf. He looked so crushed, so angry, and Eren was turning into a whole other person before you.
You asked him what happened.
“I don’t think I want to talk about my past relationship when I’m celebrating a special night with my girlfriend.” He forced himself to laugh about it, but it sounded hollow.
You unconsciously tightened your grip around his hand. “I just wanted to understand you better.”
“Hey.” He pulled you toward him so abruptly that you ended up falling on his chest. His smile was warmer when he looked at you. “Even without knowing about my past, you already understand me better than anyone.”
You were still unsettled when Eren kissed your lips to divert your attention, softly biting your lower one just to joke around to ease the tension. “Ah, I can’t wait until we’re home,” he whispered when all laughter had receded, his fingers tucking your loose strands behind your ear. “I want to make love to you.”
Your heart beat thunderously inside your chest. “You’re—you’re just gonna say it so blatantly like that?” He used to be so shy about it, asking you to join him in bed by pressing open-mouthed kisses down your neck instead of using words.
“Just wanted you to know my plans beforehand,” he simpered. “Or do you not want to?”
Face aflame, you hurriedly took a couple of strides forward, leading the way with your hand clamping his wrist. “Where are we going?” Eren frowned but followed you nonetheless. “The restaurant is right there. Our reservation is in ten minutes.”
“We can have dinner after.” You threw a look over your shoulder, too nervous to smile, but you hoped your words would deliver. “We’re going to make love, aren't we?”
His astonished look soon turned delicate. Eren’s smiles were always beautiful, but the ones that were caused by you were the brightest. 
As soon as the door clicked open, Eren half-pushed, half-carried you inside his apartment that smelled pleasantly like him. He didn’t wait until it was properly closed before he latched his parted lips on your softer ones, fusing perfectly in the way no one ever could. You tore your own coat away before you pushed his blazer off his shoulders, and he let it slide down to the floor as you struggled with his buttons. He kicked off his shoes, his giggles muffled by your lips when he almost tripped from taking off his socks.
With his shirt now pooling around his elbows, Eren drove you to the wall. A stinging pain erupted from the back of your head as he did it too hard, not knowing his own strength, but when you groaned against his mouth, it was solely because you needed him as much as he needed you.
“I love you,” he breathlessly said against your neck, fingers dancing up your thigh and slipping underneath your dress. “I love you so much, it’s insane.”
It had been a few months since you first exchanged the sacred three words, but no matter how much Eren had whispered them in your ears and painted them to your skin with his lips, it still felt like it was the first time you heard him say the words. It wasn’t just because of how many promises he held underneath them, it was the way he said them—so sincerely, so desperately, as if you were running out of time and he needed you to hear them before you disappeared from his life.
“I—” You flinched, pulling him for another kiss again when Eren hooked his fingers on the side of your lingerie, hastily pushing it down your legs. “I love you too.”
The bed was not more than twenty steps away but it was long forgotten when Eren, still with his teeth ghosting across your lower lip, hastily unzipped himself and pushed his pants and briefs lower enough for your hand to find and stroke him to life. “God, baby,” he hissed when you curled your fingers around him, hot breath caressing your jawline. “I want—I need to be inside you—just—Ah, now, please, I need it.”
No one had ever wanted you the way he did. Every kiss was nearly bruising, every hug was almost suffocating, the thrill of it all was overwhelming. 
It was almost a whine that escaped his lips when he vocalized your name. As soon as his desperate gasp and pleading moan reached your ears, the butterflies came alive in your stomach. Your skin tingled even with the lightest brush of his lips. Your fingers found home in his hair when he kissed the valley between your breasts, tugging at his soft strands and earning a low grunt in response.
You gave him a sign, affirming that it was okay for him to continue and Eren wasted no time. He lifted you up the wall, your shocked yelp cut short by his lips on yours. His hand slid along your thigh as your legs circled his waist, his hips pressing firmly into yours to pin you harder. “Ah, Ren—” Your gasp turned louder when he adjusted you higher, angling so that his hardness pressed right against the wetness of your folds, the friction setting your nerves alight. 
Pushing the fabric of your dress as much as he could until it pooled around your waist, he shifted one hand to prop up your thigh, the other one aligning his tip against your entrance. He teased the head of his cock against your lips, the glide coursing waves of bliss through both of you. “Wet…” He spoke sotto voce, his breathing tattered at the sensation of your slick coating his tip. He repeatedly pressed it into your clit at an even, steady pace that had you floating and whining.
“You want me?” He asked breathlessly, his eyes having the hardest time tearing themselves away from your lips but they managed. “Tell me you want me…”
Eren needed confirmation. It wasn’t to feed his ego, nor to build on his self-esteem. He needed you to say it so he knew it was real. That someone as perfect as you were wanted him just as much as he wanted you. That he wasn’t the only one with his sanity deteriorating. That your feelings were just as intense.
“I want you,” you breathed out. Winding your arms around his neck, your fingers carded through his hair, accidentally unfastening his hair tie before they scratched his nape. “I want no one else but you—Ah!”
The friction made you moan, both in pain and passion, as Eren slid himself in one swift motion. The second he was sheathed deep inside, waiting for you to adjust to his size, he drew out a long sigh, eyes shut close as he relished the sensation. But when your gaze met, his half-lidded eyes were gentler than they had been the entire day. 
Careful fingers framed your face, his thumb rubbing comforting circles along your cheekbone. “You okay?”
You weakly nodded, smiling sheepishly. “Are you?”
His chuckles were light and bashful. “I’m feeling great,” he said. He moved his hips without warning, just a little, not too fast, not too deep, but the sensation was enough to make you whimper and Eren swallowed every little noise you made directly with his lips. For every movement, he shoved you up and down the wall, your hair mussing and clumping against the surface. The fabric of his shirt slid down his shoulders in languid fragments, slowly revealing his lean back muscles into which you dig your fingertips. 
A certain thrust made you squeeze around him and he drowned out his moan by mouthing against your shoulder, teeth prickling against the skin. “Fuck, do that again, baby, please.” And as he continued hitting the same spot, it was a given that you provided him with the same reaction.
Eren was insanely good at making you feel good, and in return, you wanted to give him everything that he desired. “I love how you feel around me,” he confessed under his breath as if he was talking to himself. “Perfect—you’re so perfect for me—”
Your arms were frantically clutching around his neck, trying to maintain stability as you fought against gravity. He buried himself deeper, snapped his hips into you with isolated precision, fucking you harder, and kissed you with the desperation of a dying man.
You tried to hold back but you couldn’t. It was too much. His breathless moans in your ear, the frantic sway of his hips, the closeness of your bodies—everything was overwhelming and you came hard on his length, legs wrapping tightly around his waist as Eren chased after your lips. 
“Fuck,” he breathed heavily, his jaw hung low. The way you quivered and clenched around him sent fire through his veins. “Did you just come?” he whispered and you bit your lip in shame. The tiny laugh that broke free from his lips was both playful and filled with tenderness. “Already? That was fast.”
Flustered but not given the chance to react, you inhaled sharply when he picked up the pace. He was almost growling when his lips grazed against the shell of your ear. “Actually, me too,” he moaned, “Baby—fuck–can I come inside?”
“Yes.” You embraced him tighter. “Please, come inside me–ah, Ren–” 
“Shit, I’m coming–” He buried his head in the crook of your neck, hips stuttering as he came.
When he let you slide down to your feet, your knees gave out under your weight and you stumbled back to his chest. He held you close, chortling as he kissed the top of your head. “I’m sorry, come here.” Bending down slightly, Eren hooked one arm under your knees and another one behind your back. He carried you in his arms, teasing, “Fucked you so good, you could barely stand, huh?”
Unable to deny it, you playfully slapped his chest. “Shut up.”
But all of his mischievousness dissipated as soon as you both slipped under the duvet, his bedsheets felt silky smooth under your spine. He cleaned the stain that dripped down your thighs with a warm towel, but dipped his head down to taste you directly with his tongue the second he was finished with it. Eren’s eyes never left yours, placing gentle kisses on the inner sides of your thighs and two more on your clit before he slid his tongue along your folds, slowly, as if he had the whole time in the world to please you.
He was always gentler the second time, slower with more feelings instead of sheer passion. So when he slid himself into you again, his forehead was pressed against yours, lips curving up into an innocent smile. “I never want to let you go,” he confessed between faint moans. “I want to stay just like this with you, forever.”
“I don’t think that’s physically possible,” you giggled, raking your nails down his spine and he arched his back in response. 
“Wouldn’t it be great if we could stay connected like this all the time, though?” Eren broke away, sitting on his heels as he rested one of your legs on his shoulder. His fingers were kneading the skin of your thigh, hugging your leg close to his chest as he rocked his hips slowly, savoring every moment. “I mean—ah, God, baby—doesn’t this feel good?”
You nibbled at your lip, sighing. Good was an understatement but you weren’t sure you could find a term to perfectly define how amazing he felt around you. “It feels like you’re made just for me,” Eren said and you couldn’t have phrased it better.
From where you laid on the bed, you could take a good look at Eren’s viridian eyes—the way they drooped slightly, clouded with both affection and infatuation every time they met yours. How the muscles in his abs were flexing with every movement. The sinful, obscene sway of his hips. The little smirk that broke on his face when you accidentally moaned his name too loud—Eren was… Beautiful. Irresistible. Sensual. 
“Baby?” Eren called, chuckling softly as he peppered open-mouthed kisses to your ankle that made you stare in a haze. “You okay down there?”
You pursed your lips. “Just enjoying the view.”
“Yeah?” He brought your leg down so he could fall back into your arms, his mouth meeting your jawline before he landed a peck on the tip of your nose. “Well, I’ve got something else you could also enjoy.”
You hummed, trying your best to contain your whimper when he suddenly brought his fingers down to rub against your clit. “And what’s that?” Though the way he slammed his hips harder against yours served as an obvious answer.
“Some caramel puddings,” he replied, nipping against your neck as he grinned, careful enough not to leave any marks as you had an important meeting with your executives tomorrow. “They’re in the fridge. You’ll love them.”
It was hard to focus when he kept hitting the spot that made you curl your toes. “Eren…” You pushed a stray lock of his long hair behind his ear before you caressed his cheek. “I love you.”
His movements stopped. You both might have exchanged the same words three or four times today, but he was always the one who uttered them first. Eren melted into a smile, one that was softer than the breath of summer. “I love you too.” His lips never left yours as they spoke each loving word with more sentimentality and less urgency. “Happy birthday, baby…”
You closed your eyes, indulging in the soft sense of his warmth, and during that moment, your heart, your soul, and your mind, they formed the same words. 
Ah, so this is what happiness feels like.
***
“Ren?”
“Hmm?”
Both of you no longer had the strength to do anything but cuddle in each other’s arms. As Eren wallowed in the sweet moment of silence where your breath sounded like a soothing lullaby in his ears, you gathered the courage to ask once more. “I still want to know, after all. About what happened to you earlier, I mean. You looked so distraught… I can’t rest before I know what upset you.”
He stiffened, his fingers stopped momentarily from stroking your strands. With a sense of weariness filling his eyes, he surrendered.
It was his first relationship with his first love, back when he was fifteen. They were together for four years but knew each other for ten. She was a close friend that grew into something more. Even loving words didn’t need to be exchanged as they could practically finish each other’s thoughts. You felt a pang of jealousy gnawing at you from the inside, at the thought of him having someone so important in his life—someone who had stayed with him longer than you’d met him—someone whose name couldn’t be spoken as it triggered too many emotions.
But for the sake of understanding him, you cast your jealousy aside, no matter how much it lit your body on fire.
Eren’s voice had lost its usual cheeriness when he reminisced about his past. By the time they graduated high school, she decided to continue her study in another country. Eren let her go, supporting her plans and dreams like the perfect boyfriend that he was. They were committed to each other, faithful to one another. Eren never doubted her, not even once.
Until one day, during the summer break of their first year of separation, he decided to pay her a visit. He bought airplane tickets with the money he’d saved up for months, along with a thoughtful gift for her birthday. But the second he saw her opening the door to her apartment, he realized that she wasn’t alone.
She was never alone. He was.
“Why are you here?” She asked as if his presence was a bother. Him, the man whom she claimed she’d loved with her entire soul for the last four years. The man whom she had made love to on his bed just six months earlier. Eren would never forget the look she had on her face that day.
“It’s funny how you’ve been with this person your whole life,” Eren said, his words laced with venom as he kept his gaze fixated on the ceiling. “And you thought you knew them like the back of your hand and then one day, they betrayed you in the way you thought they were incapable of doing.”
You couldn’t find your voice, blending in with the silence of the room.
But he didn’t hate her, Eren confessed. He hated himself. He hated how stupid—how innocent and gullible he was. He hated how easily he had let someone else carry his heart around and let them do whatever they wanted with it. He knew that she wouldn’t have the power to destroy him if he had never given her the chance. Maybe, if his thoughts weren’t as clouded by his feelings, he would’ve noticed the little sighs she made whenever he told her he loved her. He would’ve noticed the way she sounded much brighter when she talked about her life instead of their lives together during their late-night calls. He would’ve noticed how distant she sounded whenever she spoke his name as if it was just another meaningless word and not the one that she used to murmur in short gasps near his ear.
And maybe if I hadn’t fallen in love…
Eren fell mute for a few seconds as if he was being drifted to another time and space. The hurting look on his face was so vivid that it broke you apart just by seeing it. Attempting to wash the pain away, you placed a hand on his cheek and Eren grew rigid before he discovered the strength to smile.
“I had to stay for a whole week in a country I didn’t know because I couldn’t refund my ticket,” he said, leaning into your touch. “All alone, since my girlfriend cheated on me and didn’t even care to apologize about it.” He snorted, still sounding bitter but his taut muscles had grown loose. “So yeah, I probably have some trust issues now because of that.” He tried to conceal the pain behind his laughter. “But it’s all right. I don’t care. I have you now, right?” He laid on his side, facing you with a boyish smile that made your heart race just a little bit faster. “I’m starting on a new page with you. And as long as you’re here with me, I’m the happiest man in the world.”
You reflected his smile though your heart was still left unsettled. “You’re lame.”
“Excuse me, I’m in love,” he corrected, pouting. But when his hand found yours, his expression grew tender again. Kissing each of your fingertips, he murmured, “We’ll always be together, right? Promise you won’t do that to me.”
“I will never cheat on you, Ren.”
“No, it’s not just that.” He gazed deep into your eyes. “Promise me you won’t leave me. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
He knew what loving you could cost him, but you were different. And he was different. He wouldn’t fall into the same trap. He knew how to protect himself this time. So he allowed himself to love you just as much, if not more, moving on but never forgetting.
Your eyes were focusing on the way he brought your index finger between his lips, your digit pressing against his hot tongue. “Yes,” you softly whispered, hooking a finger around his silver necklace, and pulling him in for a kiss. “We’ll always be together.”
“Forever?”
“Forever.”
***
Your forever did not last long.
When you received a job promotion a year later, you didn’t know what to say to him. It was your dream job, finally achieving that position after practically hanging on for dear life for five years working in the company. The salary exceeded your expectation, and you would be working under a senior that you admired. The company would pay for all your living expenses and give you your own flat to live in with a balcony where you could see the sun rising behind the skyscrapers. It all sounded so perfect. Too perfect.
Except for the part where you had to move to another country that stood three thousand miles away from where he was.
You knew you should’ve said something to Eren the first time your director broke the news to you. But you couldn’t as you didn’t know how. During the three years of your relationship, both of you had avoided talking about matters that could lead to fights, only allowing yourselves to discuss trivial, mundane things that would make the other pout in annoyance but not fury. The first time you noticed this happened was when both of you became too busy dealing with your own lives. You had your job to think about, while Eren had his thesis to work on and there wasn’t much time to focus on each other even when you were staying in the same apartment.
Eren often released his stress by nuzzling his nose against the side of your neck, pulling you into his lap, whispering, “I miss you,” and you reciprocated each time with a kiss. But you always stopped before it got too much with you patting his cheek, apologizing to him using both your words and your gaze. “I’m sorry, Ren, but I have a Zoom meeting in an hour. I really need to get my presentation done.”
He just sighed, pressing a tiny kiss between your eyebrows. “Well then, I’m gonna go catch some sleep. Don’t work too hard.”
And as he walked to the bedroom, closing the door behind him and leaving you alone in his living room, you realized the distance that grew between you. He used to look back, peek his head through the door, saying, “Would it really kill you to just join me for, like, fifteen minutes? I’ll be fast, I swear,” which you would answer with a laugh, assuming he was joking. “Why are you laughing? I’m serious!”
But now, he doesn’t even stop to say good night.
You knew you could fix it. He knew he could fix it too. But none of you ever said anything about it, afraid that it would trigger something bigger that neither of you would be able to mend.
It didn’t mean that you didn’t try. Every weekend, you would commit yourself fully to him and Eren would accept your unspoken apology with all his heart. You once attempted to drop some clues about your promotion during dinner when he made you your favorite dish, grinning from ear-to-ear as he waited for your reaction. Eren’s Spaghetti Aglio e Olio never disappointed you, but you know your words would. So when he was smiling at you, his thumb gliding along your knuckles as he took your hand in his, how could you tell him? 
I just need more time to prepare myself. To find a better way to explain.
But before you could find your words, Eren found your promotion letter.
“What is this?” He asked to your horror, body leaning against the doorframe, your letter in his hand.
The maroon dress you were trying to fold fell from your lap as you stood up abruptly, eyes widening in shock. “That’s—where did you get—”
“What is this?”
You turned rigid. The weight in his tone was terrifying. “It’s… My promotion letter.”
“Are you planning to tell me about it?” He wasn’t shouting, didn’t even raise his voice, but to your ears, his voice was thunderous.  
You fidgeted, fingers fisting the hemline of your shirt, desperate for comfort. “Of course, I—” But there were no words. Your brain was too jumbled to find a proper excuse because you knew, he didn’t wish to hear one. 
Eren didn’t want to repeat himself. His heart was already breaking. He just lowered his gaze, emerald eyes turning darker and colder. Then he left the room without a word. 
“Eren.” You followed after him, legs turning frail underneath your weight. “Eren, please, can we talk?”
He only stopped in his tracks when you grasped his wrist. “Did you say yes to this?” He turned around to face you, raising the letter he gripped so tightly in his hand. His voice was quiet, eerily so, that it sent shivers down your spine.
Your heart was somewhere in your stomach. “I was—”
“Yes or no?”
He only allowed you to choose, not explain. With a deep breath, you mumbled out, “Yes.”
There was a moment of silence where you could only hear your stuttered breathing but none of his. “Three months,” he murmured, voice deep and hoarse that you barely recognized. “The letter is three months old. You had all this time to tell me.”
Panic rose quickly in your chest. “I know. I was going to tell you but—”
The rest of your words died instantly the second Eren slammed the letter on the dining table. Your breath caught in your throat at the sound. Had his fist met porcelains, he would’ve shattered everything to pieces with how forceful he was. 
Without another word, he stomped off to the front door, grabbing his coat with him.
“Wait!” You chased after his trails, knees wobbling. “Where are you—”
The door was shut with a bang.
No matter how many times you tried to call him, he never answered. The only thing you could do was stay in his apartment and wait until he came back to his senses. Now that you were alone in the living room, you began to notice just how many of your belongings were positioned in every corner of his apartment. Your toothbrush was next to his, your clothes were hanging inside his wardrobe, your favorite books were on his shelf, and the walls were painted with more photographs of you than his own. In every picture, you could see yourself smiling in his arms, laughing at something he did or said because that was it, wasn’t it? Eren was the source of your happiness. He was the only one who could make you smile so freely without a care in the world.
So why are we in this position now?
It was your first big fight and you had no one else to blame but yourself. Hours had passed by and tears began to well from how frustrated you were with yourself, but the front door flung open before they could outline your cheeks.
“Ren,” you called out, your heart ruptured at the sound of his name. Eren’s hair was ruffled by the wind, his bun turning messier than ever. His nose and cheeks were bitten by the cold night air, turning scarlet. His hands were inside the pockets of his coat, his eyes glazed by his temper as he kicked his shoes away. He walked past you as if you weren’t there, heading straight to the bedroom.
Judging from the scent and his slightly unfocused eyes, you knew he had been drinking. “Are you okay?”
No answer. He took his coat off, throwing it on the bed along with his phone which was clearly functional as always. You had expected him to dismiss your calls, but it still hurt being ignored.
With your eyebrows knitted in concern, you went to the kitchen to make him a cup of coffee, hoping that a little caffeine would ease the tension as it was something you were both fond of. You stopped to catch your breath, noticing that it was already two in the morning.
What should I do?
“Eren…” You carefully began, voice quieter than usual as you walked into the bedroom and closed the door behind you. “I’ve made you some coffee. It’ll help warm you up.”
Your lover was sitting at the edge of the bed, his phone between his hands, blatantly ignoring you.
“Can we…” You hesitated, fingers curling into tiny balls of fists. “Can we talk?”
The silence was deafening.
“Ren—”
“What?!” He suddenly roared, making you take a step back, flinching. “What do you want to talk about?”
“I…” You swallowed your breath, your voice is as shaky as your fingers were. “I know you’re upset about me leaving and I’m sorry—”
“Oh, so now you want to talk about this? After I found out about your letter?” Eren didn’t wait for your response. “I can’t believe you’ve been keeping this a secret from me! What else are you not telling me?”
Heart plummeting to the ground, you timorously replied, “Nothing, just… I was going to tell you—”
“Yeah? When, exactly?” Eren stood up, throwing his phone to the bed. “When you’re about to go? When you’re about to disappear from my life just like her?”
Being put in the same position as the person who tore his heart to pieces was both sickening and infuriating. “Of course not, I won’t do that to you!” Your voice gradually turned louder, more frantic. “I won’t leave you—”
“But that’s all everybody fucking said!” He threw his hands in the air, eyes blazing with fury. “That’s what she said when—”
“Well, I’m not her!” The booming sound of your voice startled you both, but it grew weak in comparison when the eerie silence followed. “Eren, you can’t blame me for what she did. I’m not her. I’m not her replacement. Don’t compare me with her.”
For a moment, Eren’s lips were pressed tightly until they grew white. “I never compared you with her,” he said through gritted teeth, his husky voice thundered like a rainstorm. “Not until now when you’re doing the same thing, saying the exact same thing she said to me.”
You cowered slightly under his gaze. The sound of the ticking clock had never felt so loud when you fought for words to say. “I’m sorry for not telling you about this sooner.”
“I don’t need your apology,” he snapped back. “I don’t care.”
“It’s my dream job, Ren…” Your posture drooped, grave sadness written on your face. “I’ve been waiting my whole life to get this position–”
“Congratulations,” he scoffed, clenching his jaw. “I’m so glad you got what you wanted.”
You bit the inside of your cheek. His words hurt more than you thought they would. “You don’t have to force yourself to say words you don’t mean.”
He clicked his tongue in vexation. “Yeah, well, I would’ve meant them, if you had told me about this.”
“I wasn’t able to tell you because I thought you’d be upset about it—”
"I suppose postponing it until we’re counting days till your leave is going to make me feel fucking elated, isn’t that right, Sweetheart?” There had never been a day where you thought his adorable, warm laughter could turn into something so spiteful. “Let me guess. You’re leaving in like, what, a month?”
You rubbed your tears away before they fell. “Six weeks.”
“Oh, that makes everything so much better! Six weeks!” He cynically laughed, throwing his head back. “You know what? You’re right. I’m so happy. Never been this fucking happy in my whole goddamn life—”
“What do you want me to do?!” The frustration that welled inside your chest finally broke through your lips. “You want me to turn back time so I could tell you right after I heard the news three months ago?”
Eren averted his gaze, his hand going to his head, pulling at his hair roots. “I just don’t understand why if this is so important to you—and if I’m so important to you—why didn’t you talk this out with me? Don’t you care about what I think? About how I’d feel?”
Tears were running faster than you could wipe them off your cheeks. “I couldn’t find the right time to tell you.” You choked out. “ And you were so busy working on your final thesis too. I didn’t want to bother you—”
“That’s your excuse?!” he gasped in disbelief. “I don’t fucking care about my thesis. I care about you! And you knew how I felt about being in a long-distance relationship—"
“That was the reason why I was waiting for the right time until—“
“Until you can tell me that you’re leaving.” He sighed, massaging the bridge of his nose. “Look, I’m tired and we’re going in circles. Why are we even discussing this when you’ve made the decision all by yourself? This is pointless.”
Embittered, you asked, “Do you want me to choose between you and my career?”
“No. I don’t.” He finally looked into your eyes, and you could see how there was not as much anger as sadness that emerged behind his lenses. “But I’m making my own decision.” When you frowned in confusion, Eren looked away, staring at the wall that was filled with memories as he spoke. “I don’t think we should see each other anymore.”
“What?” It felt like the world was swallowing you whole. “What did you say?”
Exchanging stares with you, Eren appeared more weary than furious. “I just don’t see how this is going to work.”
For a moment, every cherished memory you shared with him fleeted across your eyes. Eren was standing before you, wearing the same clothes as he did on the night he spent embracing you on his bed, and yet right now, he felt like a stranger. He sounded like one, looking at you like you just betrayed him and drove a knife into his back.
“You’re drunk.” You reasoned out, both to calm him down and to wash the fear away from your chest. “You won’t be saying any of this if you were sober.”
“If that’s what helps you sleep at night, sure.” Both his eyes and his tone were glacial. “Go ahead and think that way. I don’t care.”
Dread was running through your veins, making you feel anxious about what was coming. “Wait,” you almost pleaded. “We need to talk about this.”
“I think we’ve talked enough.”
“Can’t we at least try—”
“I can’t.” The confession escaped his lips, and your facade shattered. Tears pooled in your eyes and his heart twisted as sadness washed over him too. His eyes finally spoke the true shape of his heart—how it was smashed apart, broken with neither of you being able to collect the pieces. He gazed at you as if it was you who was breaking up with him and not the other way around. “You know I can’t do this,” he said. “I don’t want to repeat the same mistakes. I don’t want to be that guy who constantly gets suspicious or overly protective of you because of my past. It won’t be fair to you.”
“I don’t care if you’re being unfair,” you replied shakily, “I just don’t want us to end what we have now.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.” His voice grew softer. “If we continue this, I know I’ll end up saying things I never meant to say. With three thousand miles between us, how often do you think we can see each other? With you being so busy with your new job, how often can we speak?” But the bitterness in his voice came alive when he added, “We could barely do that even when we were in the same room before.”
“It’s about that..?” Realization washed over you like a wave. “Why didn’t you say anything before?”
“Same reason as you,” he replied, “To keep our relationship the way it was. That’s what we always do, isn’t it? Pretending everything is fine when it’s not?”
A fresh swell of turmoil rose within you. “Eren, I’ve tried my best to spend time with you… I thought you’d understand that I have a job—”
“You’re right, but unlike you, I don’t.” Eren weakly smiled. “I don’t have anything going on with my life except you. I don’t even know if I can graduate college in time. But you’ve achieved so much. You’re only a few years older than me and yet you’ve already had everything figured out, and I admire you for that.” His words sounded sincere but they only tore your heart open even more. Eren walked closer, his fingers pushing the bangs out of your eyes like the way he used to do but it didn’t feel the same. Instead of giving you the comfort you needed, he only inflicted more pain. “You’re already perfect the way you are now. You don’t need me in your life.”
“No.” The desperation was so thick in your voice, that it made you wince but not in regret. “You’re wrong, you—There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t need you, Ren. I want you to stay with me. Come with me. We still have time.”
You don’t mean that. Eren brought his head down, unable to meet your eyes. If you did, you would’ve told me about this sooner. “And then what?” he sighed, sounding so tired. “What am I going to do if I come with you? I haven’t even finished my study yet, let alone have a job.”
“You can find one in—”
“In a country where I can’t even speak the language? I doubt it. I’m not gonna let you pay for my needs—”
“Then, I’ll make some time for you, I promise. Better this time.” Your fingernails were sinking into your palms from how tightly you curled them. “No matter how far we are from each other, I’ll call you every day.”
“I don’t want that.” His words were laced with frustration. “I don’t want you to force yourself to do something for me. And I don’t want to spend my nights imagining whether you’re spending yours with someone else.”
“You…” You were so quiet, you wondered if he could hear you properly. “You don’t trust me?”
But Eren shook his head, gaze softening. “I do. I just don’t trust myself.”
Your mind turned into a blank slate, unable to form a word. Eren’s breathing tattered a little when he exhaled, walking to his wardrobe to pick out some clothes. “I’m gonna go stay at Armin’s place for the weekend. Feel free to take out your stuff. Just drop the keys at the lobby when you’re finished.”
You stood still, icebound to the ground. It almost felt like a heart attack from the way your heart was hammering against your rib cages. “I don’t want to lose you,” you quietly professed, “I thought we could work this out…”
Eren’s movements were put to a halt just for a couple of seconds before he continued shoving his clothes down his bag. You stood on the side as he walked past you, his natural sandalwood scent had disappeared, buried under the amount of alcohol he’d consumed. 
“So, this is it…?” You fretted. “For us..?”
Eren stopped taking another stride, glancing at you from over his shoulder. “It’s better for both of us, don’t you think?”
But he didn’t wait to hear your answer.
***
When you dared to appear at his front door six weeks later, it was on the night before your departure. He hadn’t called, hadn’t sent you a single text. He was a ghost, living solely in your imagination. But knowing it was your last chance to see him, you gathered your courage and took the first step.
Eren was wearing the same navy blue knitted sweater that he wore the first time you told him you loved him. You remembered how startled he was back then, unsure of what to say as he was afraid to love someone else after knowing how it felt like to have his heart shattered to pieces. The words I love you were merely reciprocated with a small “Thank you” and an awkward hug to serve as a bandaid. As you laid in his arms later that night, you spent every second with your eyes closed but your thoughts awake, trying to figure out why won’t he say it back? 
You left for work early the next morning, your mind so distraught that you forgot to put some cream in your coffee. With one arm holding an umbrella over your head to protect you from the morning showers, you stepped outside with an anchor for a heart, bidding him farewell without having your smile reach your eyes.
Was it a mistake? You pondered. Should I have not told him? He didn’t look so happy about it…
Does he not… love me?
Before your eyes were misted with your tears, you heard your name being called. Turning around, you saw Eren chasing after you in the same knitted sweater, his hair still messy from sleep but soon to be drenched by the rain.
“Wait!” he shouted, breathlessly, both from running and the rush of adrenaline that pumped through his veins.
Your eyes turned wide in astonishment even when you failed to catch his words. “What—” You were about to run so you could shelter him from the rain, but he reached your spot faster than you could reach him. “Eren, what are you doing? Why didn’t you take an umbrella with you?” You dropped your handbag to the ground, not caring if it got wet from the rain as you focused more on the man who was shivering before you. You rubbed his arm up and down, providing him with warmth before you cupped his face. “Go back inside. You’re shivering.”
“I’m fine. I just have something to say before you go.” He broke into a tender smile, pressing his palm against the back of your hand. “I’m sorry I didn’t say it back last night. I was… I was afraid,” he admitted. “Being in love with someone means you’re giving your heart for them to hold or to crush and I didn’t want to go through that pain ever again but—” He stepped closer, his temple nearly touching yours as he brought his head down. “I love you. I want you to know that I love you too. I don’t want to lie to myself anymore. I don’t care what’s gonna happen in the future. I just love you, so much, that both my heart and my head feel like they’re going to burst.”
For a moment, you could only stare back, dumbstruck and in awe. Eren’s eyes shook as they searched yours, growing frantic when he couldn’t understand the feelings that churned inside you. “Say something, please?” He begged, cold fingers caressing your cheek. “Otherwise, I might have to crawl into a hole and die from shame.”
You chuckled lightly, overwhelmed by the sheer happiness that washed over you. “I love you too.”
He seemed so relieved, almost as much as you were, and he twisted his fingers around your strands, chasing after your lips. The kiss was sweeter than honey but knowing him, even the sweetest kiss emitted so much passion, it left you breathless.
“I’m sorry, I know you have to go to work,” he said, pushing you away just for a couple of seconds before his emotions defeated him once more. Your mouths collided yet again, a frenzied kiss that left your skin burning. “God, I know you have to go,” he whispered between needy kisses. “But just—one more—”
You let him. You let him kiss you as much as he wanted. You let him steal you away from the world as much as he pleased. After all, you were his. Body, mind, and soul, you offered everything to him.
When he finally had the strength to break apart from you, his eyes were conflicted. “Must you go?” His thumb caressed your cheek, and Eren wetted his already glistened lip as he stared at yours. “I want to be with you today.”
It didn’t matter that the two of you just spent the entire weekend together. No amount of time would be enough to satisfy your needs for each other’s touch. So you answered him with your lips meeting him in a frantic kiss, casting your umbrella aside. You didn’t care that it was cold, with big droplets of rain easily drenching you from head to toe because Eren was always ready to warm you up. 
“Then take me home, Ren.”
But you realized as he tugged you back into his arms, soft lips pressing against your temple, you were already home.
Now… That memory felt like a fantasy, one that you could only dream of having.
“I…” Standing right before him after six weeks of separation was so nerve-racking that you found yourself unable to meet his eyes. “I just wanted to get the books I left on your shelf.”
He didn’t say a word, only stepping to the side to give you some space to enter. His apartment still smelled delightfully like him, so familiar that it felt like you were coming home, but instead of suffusing your chest with joy, it only broke your heart even harder.  
“They’re in my room,” he said, all stern with no warmth like he used to have. Not our room anymore, only his. You nodded, making your way inside. When you closed the bedroom door behind you, hot tears were about to spill and you tried your best not to be suffocated with the memories of the nights you shared your feelings with him, bodies tangled underneath the sheets, lips carving marks on each other’s skins.
You couldn’t breathe.
By the time you managed to collect yourself, you came out of his room with two of your books in your hands while you left ten more on his shelf. You didn’t need any of them. It was only a poor excuse for you to see his face once more before you bid your final farewell.
“I made you some coffee,” he said, leaning against the kitchen counter. “It’s cold outside so…”
You timidly smiled. “Thank you.”
You used to spend hours chattering behind a few cups of coffee, talking about the things that mattered and things that didn’t because everything felt special when you shared them with someone you loved. But today, every sip of your coffee sounded louder than your voice as no words were shared.
You said you care
And you missed me too
And I’m well aware I write too many songs about you
“How are you?”
“I’m doing great,” he answered formally. It’s funny how he didn’t need spiteful words to hurt you. The absence of his affection in his sentences was more than enough to smother you.
“That’s good…” You tapped your fingers against the side of your mug. “Are you still writing lyrics for Armin’s songs these days?”
“No. I’ve been busy.”
“Oh… With your thesis?”
“Sure.”
Eren didn’t tell you the truth. He didn’t tell you how many notes had been written, scratched, and discarded just so he could deal with the thoughts of you. Didn’t tell you the words he wrote about your pretty eyes, your pretty smiles, your kindness, your passion, your everything. And how, despite his choice of leaving you, he still longed for them. Still loved them with all his heart.
The reason why he let you go was that he knew you would probably stay with him if he’d asked you to. He didn’t want you to have any regrets. Didn’t want you to choose him because you felt like you had no other way. Because when you love someone, truly, you’re ready to be cast aside for them to attain their happiness. You just happen to be walking on a different path, and Eren is not strong, nor fast enough, to walk with you just yet. Rather than wishing for you to stop, he wants you to walk faster even if it means he won’t be able to chase after you.
And Eren still couldn’t forget the pain. It felt like you betrayed him when you kept it a secret for months.
What else will you keep from me, if you can’t even tell me you’re leaving? Will you keep it a secret when you no longer love me the way you used to? Will you keep it a secret when you find someone new, someone better, someone who can stay to wipe your tears and hold you in their arms while I’m three thousand miles away from you? Will you pretend like everything is fine when we’re straying further away from each other every day?
In Eren’s mind, he thought you’d be better on your own. At such a young age, you had already managed to chase after your dreams while he was still unsure of what he wanted to have in the future. To him, you were always a step ahead. And tomorrow, you’d be taking your first step to another place where he wouldn’t have the strength to follow. 
His thoughts about you were never-ending. And he wrote so much, pouring every feeling down on papers, that now as you stood before him in person, there were no more words left to be said and he could only reply to your sentences with silence.
And the coffee’s out
At the Beachwood Cafe
And it kills me ‘cause I know we’ve run out of things we can say
“I’m leaving tomorrow,” you eventually said and Eren glanced at you from underneath his eyelashes, but he never let his gaze stay for a second longer.
He knew. Of course, he did. He had been counting the days, dreading every second of it. “Take care of yourself,” he responded in a way a stranger would say to another stranger at the end of their brief meeting. “Good luck with your job. I’m sure you’ll be fine.”
There were no pet names at the end of his sentence, no sweet terms he’d once associated with you. He even refrained himself from calling your name out loud as he was afraid it would shatter the walls he’d built around him. The walls he created to protect himself from hurting even more. You were truly strangers now.
“Thanks.” You forced yourself to smile, nails sinking into your thighs as you brought your hands to your lap. “You too. Don’t forget to eat your breakfast every day. You always skip it.”
It was your job to remind him, who used to serve fried eggs and toasts on his plate while Eren was the one who cooked dinner. Perhaps he remembered that too because as soon as the words departed from your lips, Eren brought his head down, simply replying with a hum so you wouldn’t notice the tremble in his voice.
When you took your leave, you handed him a note to your new address. “Just… Come and visit me whenever you’re in the country. I’d love to show you around.” It sickened you how formal you sounded, but you couldn’t say it any other way.
When Eren took the note, your fingers brushed against his, it almost seemed like time stopped, just for a little, and he wanted to pull you into his embrace, to tell you how much he’d been missing you the same way you’d been missing him. To tell you how much he wanted to be selfish, to have you choose him over everything else in your life because that was how you meant to him. You were everything to him.
Just like how you are to me.
So when he dropped his hand, tucking it inside his pocket, you knew it was really over. Finally, the word goodbye took its true form.
And I get the feeling that you’ll never need me again.
***
Three years passed by like eternity. Time progresses so slowly that your mind can only recall the taste of euphoria just like how your lips remember the softness of his kiss. But you don’t feel them, not anymore. The joy, the thrill of being in love, the burning desire of wanting someone and being wanted. You remember everything but your body starts to forget. And when your mind decides to abandon those memories too, what’s going to be left of you then?
Birthday parties had the taste of farewells. Love confessions, even when they came from a gentleman you respected, would never be able to fill the void in your chest. Ardent kisses only felt nice on your lips but they always left a bitter taste on your tongue. And your body felt incomplete, cold as if you had been standing in the snow for hours, missing the warmth he used to give you on the passenger seat of his car.
I wonder what you are doing now, Ren…
Have you met someone new? Have you ever thought about me?
Did you ever miss me?
“Because I do,” you heard yourself murmur one day in the darkness of your apartment, your mind intoxicated as you had drunk more alcohol than you intended. “I never stopped thinking about you… I miss you…”
I miss you so much.
Three years. Three years and he is still the only man your heart yearns for, so desperately, it hurts. You have his phone number memorized in your head but you can’t lift your finger to punch down the buttons. Three years and you never found the courage to do it, so scared of the thoughts of him dismissing your call, or worse, answering only to tell you to leave him alone. And you know he has your number too, but the fact that your phone never rang with his name flashing on your screen only meant one thing.
Eren no longer wants to have anything to do with you. Not anymore.
The four walls of your apartment are the only witnesses of the tears you cried and the ones that dried on your cheeks as you sobbed yourself to sleep. Some nights could feel exceptionally lonely that you had to drown yourself in sleeping pills to forget the sound of his laughter that once felt like music to your ears. Days, especially like today, feel longer when you have to stay home and you don’t have your job to distract you from him. 
And when you start imagining him there, breathing the same air that you breathe, your heart constricts like you’re trapped inside a box, buried ten feet under the ground. The human mind is a powerful thing. As your eyes turn vacant, it runs on its own, playing scenes after scenes like an old movie. You can see Eren walking around your apartment in nothing but his plaid pajama pants, his top missing as you’d stolen it away, draping it over your own body while wearing nothing more underneath. You can see him hugging the old version of yourself in the kitchen, his chest completing the dip of your spine, his nose nuzzling against your neck.
“Morning,” you can hear him say, his voice hoarse from sleep. “You woke up early.”
Your giggle echoes in your ears. “Eren, it’s two in the afternoon.”
“Yeah, that’s early. Let’s go back to bed.”
“Wait, let me make you some food. You must be hungry.”
But Eren doesn’t listen, he never did. You see him lifting your body off the ground, throwing you over his shoulder with one hand wrapped around the back of your thighs. “It can wait. I want to cuddle,” he insists as you laugh. “You’re going to be the big spoon now.”
“Aren’t I always the big spoon?”
“That’s right, so you better spoon me right.”
“What does that even mean?”
Funny how a conversation like this is what you miss the most. You can never find and share a moment like this with anyone else. Or maybe you just don’t allow yourself to?
I want to see him, you confess deep within your thoughts as you lay your cheek on the coffee table. Your fingers are still wrapped against an empty can of beer, the taste of alcohol sitting thickly on your tongue. You just realize that you’re wearing Eren’s old hoodie again, its color fading from scarlet to salmon pink from how many times you’ve washed it. It was the only thing that’s left of him, something that you forgot to return and Eren didn’t care enough to ask for it back. You nuzzle your nose against its long sleeve, still trying to catch a hint of his scent lingering on its fabric even when you’ve failed so many times. There’s nothing left of him that lingers near. With your legs stretched out on the carpeted floor, skin sliding against polyester, you feel tears brimming in your eyes. 
Eren…
Your doorbell rings, breaking the smothering silence. You attempt to ignore it, just wanting to be swallowed by the earth for now and never resurface. But when it keeps resounding through your hallway, you have no choice but to groan and return to your feet.
You wipe your tears away, your eyes still puffy and red as you take long strides toward your front door. Your hair is a tangled mess, your clothes rumpled and worn-out. You’ve never really cared about your appearance these days. You haven’t really cared about anything else.
You turn around your doorknob. “I’m sorry, but I don’t feel well today, so if you… can…”
Your eyes grow wide, incapable of blinking as Eren Jaeger, the same man whose face has been haunting you night and day for the last three years, stands before you with his hand stopping mid-air, about to ring your doorbell once more before you suddenly swang your door open.
“H-hi…” He says, in the same husky voice that trickles down like honey. It feels so surreal to hear him again—to see him again. You’ve been imagining him standing on the other side of your door like this countless times before but you never allowed yourself to see what happened past that, knowing that it would only hurt you even more.
And now that he’s here…
What am I supposed to say? 
He looks exactly the same, not a day older. He’s still the most handsome man you’ve ever seen, with smooth golden skin kissed by the sun. He still owns the same high cheekbones, the same inviting plump lips, and the same beautiful long brown hair that’s cascading down to his shoulders. It’s as if not a second has passed by since the day you bid each other farewell with your hearts being trampled to the ground. 
You can’t speak. It’s already a miracle that you can still suck air into your lungs.
Just like you, his mind turns blank as his eyes grow twice their size. You’re wearing his hoodie. Three years after your break-up, and you still wear it as if you had never stopped being his lover. Something claws against the walls of his stomach as the memories of those morning kisses you shared with him are revived in his head. You look just as adorable, just as beautiful, and God, it hurts him. Seeing you wear his clothes used to be his favorite thing to wake up to and now it just feels like God is playing the vilest joke on him.
You’ve lost weight. That’s the other thing he can tell once he’s calmed himself down. Even when half of your body is hidden underneath his oversized hoodie, he can still tell by the dip of your collarbones and the little protruding bones on your wrists. You seem pale with dark circles under your eyes, but none of them shocks him as much as the fact that you’ve been crying. He hates it. He always hates it when you cry, even when you look beautiful when you do. Tears don’t belong in your eyes. He wants you to have a smile written on your lips and nothing more. And he wants to be the reason for that smile. And yet, just standing before you like this, he becomes the reason behind your tears.
It takes everything within him not to reach out a hand and stroke your cheek, wanting to provide comfort with every fiber of his being. “It’s been a while,” he says, a delicate smile gracing his lips. “How are you?”
You feel layers of unsettling emotion, a sob threatening to rise fast to your lips. “Umm… Yeah… I’m—” Your words are strangled in your throat. “I’m doing well.”
“I’m glad.” Eren is wearing a denim jacket over a white tee, his bag slinging on one shoulder. His grip tightens around the strap as he tries to sort out his words. “Sorry for showing up so suddenly like this. I’m in the country for the next two weeks. I’ve got, umm… I’ve got a gig.”
“Oh…” You swallow. “So you’ve… graduated, huh?”
“Yeah, finally,” he chuckles, still sounding a bit tense but he’s doing much better than you do in masking his emotions. “I thought I was going to get expelled for taking too long. But I graduated two years ago, actually. And I got myself a job as a photojournalist. It sucks. I hate it. But it pays well and I get to travel for free so...”
You hear his words but you can’t seem to let them sink in. He’s like a ghost, materializing out of thin air, and your brain can’t differentiate between your dream and reality. “Congratulations,” you can only say.
“Thanks.”
Silence is like a pair of invisible hands that strangulate you by the throat and Eren can feel it too. Casting his gaze downward, he shifts his weight from one foot to another. “So, umm…” He clears his throat. “I just… I just thought I’d swing by to say hi since I’m in the country. I’m glad to see you’re doing well.”
You’re not. And he can tell that you’re not. He’s just not sure if you would allow him to get close enough to you to ask the questions he’s itching to say. He’s afraid that you’d reject him. After what he’s done to you in the past, choosing to end your relationship without giving you a proper chance to explain, it’s only right for you to distance yourself away from him. Because that’s the reason why you hadn’t called, right? You were angry with him. Maybe you still are. But that’s where he’s wrong. You didn’t call because you were angry. You never called because you thought he was.
To Eren, the thought of you walking away from him isn’t as terrifying as the thought of you having another man’s name on your tongue. You don’t know how nerve-racking it was for him to press a finger against your doorbell. How every ring made his blood curdle, his brain creating a string of mental images of you sharing kisses with a new lover on the other side of your door. 
What if I’m too late? Eren’s fear echoes through the maze of his mind. What if she’s moved on to someone else? 
What if she doesn’t want to see me again?
What if this is a mistake?
His thoughts turn clamorous by the second that he has to curl his fingers against the side of his black jeans to stop him from acting irrationally. “Sorry,” he says, the rush of adrenaline that filled his system before dissipating fast. “I shouldn’t have come here. I—I’m gonna go—”
A hand finds his wrist before he could escape. You keep your head low, your bangs the perfect curtain to conceal your reddened eyes and the tears that mist over them. 
“Coffee,” you say, your lower lip trembling as you form your next sentence. “Would you… stay for a cup of coffee?”
Eren’s gaze shifts down to where your hands are connected, fire dancing on his skin. Just how many nights has he spent thinking about feeling your touch again?
With his heart in his throat, he answers, “I would love to.”
***
The clock on the wall is a better conversationalist than you are as it constantly replies to Eren's words with a steady, monotonous rhythm, while you are drowning further in silence with nothing but your heartbeat ringing vehemently in your ears. 
“Your apartment looks nice.”
“I think I understand why you like living in this country. It’s beautiful.” 
“Armin is doing well. He asks about you from time to time. Said he missed arguing with you about Breaking Bad.” 
You answer his every line almost with a nod or a shake of your head and nothing more. You’re afraid to use your words. Afraid that he’ll notice the crack in your voice. Afraid that that little crack would trigger the rest of your feelings to burst and explode like a broken dam.
Eren, despite his successful attempts at moving from one topic to another, feels like he’s been stalling and repeating himself. He doesn’t want to talk about the country you’re in, or Armin, or your apartment–he doesn’t care about any of those. Why are you still wearing my clothes? Do you still think about me? Do you still see me in everything you do? Is there another person in your life or are you still wishing for me to come back just as much as I’m dying to tell you how much I’m still in love with you now? These are the questions he’s yearning to say. He just needs to part his lips and form the words, but fear is a vicious murderer. It crushes his hope to dust before he can let it spread to his nerves. So he waits for you to say them, waits for you to be the stronger one.
But you don’t say anything.
Eternity seems to pass by in reticence–both of you sitting on the dining table with your mugs between your hands and your shoulders slumped forward. The coffee you made him tasted like nostalgia. The sweetness of your first kiss, the bitterness of your last goodbye. Funny how your coffee would usually be left cold and forgotten as you were both too caught up in conversation. But right now, you let it burn your tongue, wishing that it would give you an excuse to remain silent. 
Eren’s phone rings and both of your bodies jolt in surprise. “Excuse me,” he says a moment before he picks up the call. “Yes? Oh, no, it’s okay. I’m at my friend’s place right now.”
His friend, you chew on your lip, feeling your heart drop. Of course. I should be thankful that at least he still regards me as a friend. And yet, your eyes grow hot, your fingers clawing against the coffee mug that’s been resting between your hands.
The call ends and Eren comes back to you with his bottom lip caught between his teeth. “I, uhh… I have to go,” Eren says as he returns his phone inside the pocket of his jeans. “That was my director calling. There’s a sudden change in tomorrow’s schedule so I have to meet up and reshape our plans.”
He’s leaving. You panic. He’s going to leave me again. Am I just going to let him go like this? What if this is truly going to be the last time I’ll ever be able to see him? I still have so many questions I want him to answer. I still want to hear your voice. 
Eren…
I still want to see you, so, please…
Please don’t go.
But your body betrays you in the end, your lips only moving to say, “Okay.”
“Okay.” He feigns another smile, just like what he’s been doing for the past half an hour. When he rises back to his feet, you mimic his action. “Thank you for the coffee,” he says, so politely that it feels unsettling. “It was really nice to see you again.”
You sink your nails into your palms, hard enough to make yourself bleed. You give him a nod and nothing else.
Shackles bound your feet together as you walk him to your front door. The doorknob feels cold underneath your quivering fingers but it feels like you’re sinking into a frozen lake with ice daggers piercing through your skin the moment Eren walks past you without stopping to offer you a last embrace. He keeps his hand tight around the strap of his bag, turning around just to say, “Please take care of yourself,” while he keeps the rest of his line to himself. 
I wish you can be happy without me, I really do, he says only for the demons in his head to hear. But if you wish for me to stay… If there’s even a fragment of you that still wants me, I pray that you will act on it now.
Because I can’t live without you.
I don’t want to go.
I want to be with you. 
I want you to love me again.
Please…
Please say that you love me.
But when you say nothing, he has to face reality. The reality where he’s nothing more but a memory, maybe even one that you wish to forget. And so, there’s only one thing left to say.
“Goodbye.”
When he walks away, Eren feels like walking barefoot on top of broken shards. He’s bleeding. He can feel his heart is, but you’re not there anymore to mend his wound. He smiles brokenly to himself.
I'm an idiot.
I shouldn't have come here.
But then he feels your hand grabbing the edge of his jacket’s sleeve and he turns around, radiant jade green eyes growing wide at the sight of you staring at him with your lips parted in a silent call of his name, your glassy eyes shaking. 
For a second, the earth stands still.
“I’m…” You retract your hand, your stomach churning that you feel you’re on the verge of collapsing. You couldn’t stop your body from moving, only realizing once it did. It was a mistake. You shouldn’t have done it. You’re only going to make things even more unbearable than it is now. If you tell him the truth, if you wish for him not to go, then you can’t even be his friend anymore. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I… I’m sorry.”
But a moment of weakness is a moment of honesty. And Eren sees it. He understands it.
And that’s enough for him to abandon everything.
“Fuck this.”
Eren traps your jaw between his long fingers and smashes your lips together. You fall back, almost losing your balance as he pushes you inside your apartment and uses your body to slam the front door closed. He tosses his bag to the ground, driving you further up the door with his mouth scorching hot against yours. You’re doing everything at once—calling his name between short gasps, fingers clawing against the front of his shirt, tears lining down your cheeks. 
Eren, Eren, Eren. 
He kisses you with a degree of passion that can’t be found in anyone else. He plays music with your heartstrings and dances with your body in the way no one else ever did. You have found him again, your puppeteer, and he feels the same way. It’s easy for you to let loose, to let him take control and own you like he did before. This feels right.
If he’s being honest, Eren feels like he wants to cry. The taste of your lips, even if it’s layered by the saltiness of your tears, this is what he’s yearned during your years of separation—craved it until his whole body feels like it was burning to ashes. You’re here. You’re finally here in his arms again. The amount of happiness that surges through him paralyzes him, but your fingers sliding against his chest keep him alive.
“I love you,” he says between a string of heavy kisses, his voice muted by your lips. “I’m still in love with you.” He takes a hold of your wrist before he laces his fingers with yours, bringing your hand over your head and pinning it against the door. “Fuck, I can never love anyone else but you.”
You whimper against his mouth, struggling to return the words as you’re choked by your own sobs and submerged in his kisses. But Eren can tell and that’s enough. He will let your body speak for you.
Eren lifts your body enough for you to tangle your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist. He makes his way to the bedroom, two bodies meshed together in a queen-size bed. Clothes are shed in an instant, fabrics being pulled and tugged so harshly, you almost tear holes on his shirt. But once your bare skin grazes him, the softness of your belly plastered against the ridges of his abdomen, time seems to slow down. And it’s only when Eren’s lips are carving delicate strokes on the skin that covers your heart, that you can finally express the words you’ve been dying to say. 
“Me too,” you breathe out, cradling his head in your arms, fingers weaving through his long strands. “I’m still in love with you, Ren…”
Eren feels his heart tremble. “You are..?”
You nod, capturing his lips in a chaste kiss. “I’ve never stopped loving you. I think about you every day. You don’t know how happy I am to see you–to be with you like this. Honestly, I–” A peal of laughter escapes your lips, just as soft and heartwarming as your smile. “It still feels like a dream to me.”
He feels tears prickling in the corner of his eyes. “It’s not a dream,” he says, nuzzling his nose into your neck. “I’m here with you now.” 
And I’ll never let you go again.
Eren tries to avoid meeting your gaze as he knows he will break apart if he does. There’s just too much happiness for him to bear. He crawls down your body, each kiss he paints on your skin is a form of praise and affection on its own. He closes his eyes, his eyelashes damp with the tears he doesn’t allow to fall.
“I’ve missed you,” he says, mouthing the words against your thigh as he settles himself between your legs. “I’ve missed you so much, baby…”
He takes his time, and you’re thankful that he does. Burned by his passion is a great way to cure your longing, but the pang in your chest can only be healed if you’re smothered by his love. And Eren is ready to give it to you. He’s ready to do anything, give you everything, even if it means destroying himself in the process.
But you’ll never destroy his heart, will you? After all, even when you left him, your heart remained where it was. With him. Right now, he can truly believe it.
His lips carve love marks on your thighs, his beautiful eyes making their way to yours. He moves to your center, mouth moving agonizingly slow. He kisses the spot he’s kissed million times before and you almost close your legs around his head. He smiles. Your reaction is still the same. No matter how many times he’s done this to you, it always feels like the first time. And when he hasn’t done this in three years, it’s only natural for your body to scream with every bit of his touch.
“Ren…” you sigh in bliss, pushing back his hair. He moans at the sound of his name rolling off your tongue, clamping his lips around your clit as his gaze turns hazy. You’re beautiful. So fucking beautiful. Even without your make-up, even when your eyes are still glassy and puffy from all the tears you shed, even when he can still taste the alcohol on your tongue, you’re the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen. It’s your heart that makes you different. It’s your love for him that turns you into a goddess in his eyes. And it’s his love for you that makes you beautiful—makes you feel beautiful. 
Eren can spend hours pleasuring you like this, with his stomach pressed against the sheets, his arms hooked around your thighs, and his tongue savoring your taste from your slit. But you gently tug on his hair, putting a halt to his movement. One look at your face and he knows you can’t wait. Neither of you can.
He climbs up your body, his lips returning to where they belong. You circle your legs around his waist, lifting your hips as he presses down, two souls moaning in pleasure at the sensation.
“I didn’t bring a condom with me,” he says against your neck, almost deliriously.
“It’s okay–ah–” you gasp out, arching your back when he draws your nipple between his mouth, rolling the bud between his teeth before he sucks hard enough to paint purplish blooms on your chest. “I want you so please, just–just hold me, Ren…”
The desperation in your voice causes his desire to cloud his senses. He wants to take this slow, savoring every moment, but you’re making it harder by the second. He kisses you in the way he knows you adore, and that’s anywhere, everywhere, so long as it’s his lips on your skin. “Say it again.” He frames your cheek, thumb sliding against your bruised bottom lip. “Tell me you want me.”
He’s grinding against your folds, the underside of his length rubbing over your clit. “I want you.” You tangle your fingers around his necklace, pulling him down even further until his lips are just a breath away. “I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything else.” Satisfied with your answer, he melds his lips over yours in a way that bonds you to him, and you lose all semblance of reality. In his arms, you feel safe. At this moment, you feel infinite.
Eren aligns himself, his forehead pressing against yours as you taste each other’s breath. “Baby…” He gradually presses in, eyebrows furrowed and his gaze intent. He fills you up in the best way possible, his cock velvety hot, pulsing inside you. “God, you’re perfect.” 
The corner of his lower lip is tucked between his teeth as he tries to hold himself back but you urge him to move, digging your fingertips into his shoulders as you ride the thrill he gives you. After spending years in the absence of his warmth, every slide of your skin against his evokes raw emotions that leave your mind dysfunctional. “I want to be with you, Ren.” You hold him close, letting him bury his head into your neck. “In all sense of meaning. I made a mistake and I regret it every single day. You’re the only man I’ve ever loved, the only man I will ever love, so please…” You quietly sob. “Don’t leave me again…”
His tear falls to your cheek, unable to put a lid on his emotions when you told him the words he didn’t know he had been wishing to hear. And despite your tears, you smile like it’s the only thing you know how. Contentment fills your heart as you kiss his tears away, and he laughs quietly, sheepishly, ashamed that he’s showing this vulnerable side of him in front of you. But that’s the whole point, isn’t it? He can only be like this—shedding every layer of his facade, tearing down every wall he has built—when he’s with you. You give him the freedom to do whatever he wants, and in return, he’ll grant you your every wish.
And if you wish for him to stay, then he will. Right here in your arms where you both feel complete. “I won’t,” he promises, his lips brushing against your temple. “I’ll stay with you. As long as you want me to.”
The contact and drag of his body flow in waves as he pushes in and out with fluid thrusts, and you match his movement, swaying to the rhythm that he sets. “I want to stay just like this with you, forever.”
It feels like Deja Vu when you hear the words you spoke and Eren feels it too. He plants a brief kiss on your lips before he says, “I don’t think it’s physically possible.” He offers you the same answer you gave him that night, his voice laced with mirth even when it still trembles. 
You hear yourself giggling at his words, something that you thought you’d forgotten how to do. You tangle your limbs around his body, your lips forming his name as they graze the shell of his ear. Eren’s heart swells twice its size in his chest. He’s spurred on by the idea of you loving him, completely out of your mind, body twisting in his grasp.
“Baby,” he calls breathlessly, groaning at the feeling of your walls clenching tight around him. “I won’t last long if–ah–if you keep doing that–” 
You catch his lips again, drowning in every bit of the sweet sounds he makes. “It’s okay.” Because you’re just the same, feeling like you’re about to explode in ecstasy. ​​You melt together, effortless and flowing, whole and light, and so filled with love. It’s terrifying how good this feels. How every thrust, every kiss, and every moan, they satisfy you not only physically, but soulfully and eternally too.
Your fingers are buried in his strands, twirling and pulling at the tufts, earning a soft hum from him that’s lost on your lips as he leans into you. “Eren, I’m–I’m close–”
“Me too–ah–baby, you gotta let go or I'll–”
“It's okay.” Your legs are shaking as you wrap them tighter around his waist, pulling him lower until there’s not an inch of space between your chests. “Come inside me.”
I never want to let you go.
Your hair musses against the covers as your head tilts askew, tension wound tight, and Eren kisses you deep and hard as you crash over with a cry of his name. Hearing and feeling you come apart around him has his hips stuttering and his voice caught. He follows soon after, his fingers clawing against the sheets as he rides the rush of pleasure. The erratic movements of his hips turn lazy, uncoordinated, and he lets out the softest of giggles when he kisses you again. “I’m so happy I could die,” you hear him say and they match the words you’ve been saying in the back of your mind.
“Me too.” You pull his hair off his forehead and tilt his face toward you to view him as best as you can in the dimness of your room. He’s trapped in a haze, lost himself even more in the depth of your eyes. He’s about to taste your lips again when you whisper, “Welcome home, Ren…”
Eren pauses, his blush smearing fast from his cheeks to the tip of his ears. His face contorts as though he’s struggling not to cry again. “I’m home,” he murmurs back, his lips beautifully dawning into a smile. He gently swats your hair out of your face, his gaze softens as he rakes his eyes all over your features. There are so many things to say, and he wonders if he has the time to say them all. Even if he does, will words suffice? Will they be enough to describe the things you make him feel? How complete, how infinite, how every bit of his soul is burned with a fierce joy that he’s never felt before–will his words ever be enough?
No, they won’t. 
“Eren?” You incline your head, frowning. “Is there something wrong?”
Maybe someday, he’ll find them. The words that are beautiful enough to elucidate your divine grace and this profound happiness that you shroud him with. And when he says them, they won’t just be sentences to sway your heart. They will be a string of vows, and he wants the world to hear them. He wants his Lord to stand as his witness.
Until then…
“I have a question I’ve been wanting to ask you for years,” Eren says, intertwining your fingers together. “Even after we broke up, I kept thinking about it. In my head, there was only you. I would never be able–no, I would never want to ask anyone else. It has to be you. And maybe this isn’t the perfect time to do this but I just–I feel like my heart is about to burst if I don’t ask you now.” 
You search his eyes, wanting to catch a clue and when you fail, you turn tense. “What is it?”
Truthfully, he feels just as nervous as you are. If you are anxious by the thought of his question, he’s terrified of how your answer would be. Even so, he decides to risk it all.
His lips dance on your knuckles before he pulls away to call upon your name. He peppers the sweetest of kisses slowly, deliberately to your cheeks, your nose, and finally your lips. And when he speaks, you can feel his words and his smile blooming on your skin.
“Will you marry me?”
***
AN: Finally, it's out! Sorry for the long wait, I was having the hardest time trying to finish this one. I'm not really proud of this but I really hope you enjoyed it! Thank you so much for reading and let me know what you think ❤️ Massive thanks to Sandra who beta-ed this for me, you're the real MVP, babe, I love you!
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@l6ffys @vivi-et @halparkebitch @fwess @littlemochi @thebeardedmoon @didiyogo @coyloves @erenbean @tehehebri @justasketch @infnteen @naiomiwinchester @spiderlingh @doyochii @ahornyenby @aengelren @sakurashell @princess-jaeger @resonancesoul @blrqt @cacapeepee @persyhange @jaegersdiary @erentoes @trashygremlin04 @meed18 @j0livi0ni @snowflake-201 @jaymihawk @eva-gates @claudevonstrukesblog @sofijaeger @rinsie @blanccofiie @ereninbunu @natanialora @khinjito @jaegeriess @watermelon-online @tropicsoda @damselofblueroses @alexackrman @bblgumz @jurrasicpork @erenjaegercult @holycandypizza
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httperen · 13 days ago
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eren twitter posts!!!
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allm1ghtslovech1ld · 29 days ago
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*mdni*
takes your hand to his chest
"you feel my heart? it only beats for you"
hq: daichi, sugawara, shoyo, kenma, yamaguchi, asahi, ennoshita, tanaka, iwaizumi, akaashi, bokuto, sakusa, komori, kita, aran, osamu, ushijima, semi, yaku, lev, yamamoto
jjk: yuuji, nanami, megumi, choso, inumaki
mha: izuku, shoto, kirishima, amajiki, mirio
aot: armin, reiner, bertoholololodo, erwin, zeke
takes your hand to his dick
"you feel my dick? it only gets hard for you"
hq: kuroo, atsumu, suna, oikawa, tsukishima, mattsun, makki, kyotani, nishinoya, konoha, tendou, terushima, daishou
jjk: gojo, geto, toji, sukuna
mha: bakugou, shinso, denki, sero, hawks, dabi, aizawa
aot: eren, jean, porco
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snake-titan · 26 days ago
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۪۪۫۫ ༄ؘ ˑ ᴀ ʀᴜɴ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ᴍᴏɴᴇʏ — ᴀᴛᴛᴀᴄᴋ ᴏɴ ᴛɪᴛᴀɴ
ft armin, erwin, eren, jean
contains: rich boys, country club au, reader works there, afab!blackcoded!reader, petnames, semi-public sex (storage cupboards, cars etc), armin being kinda mean and possessive, degradation, impact play, daddy kink if you squint, vaginal sex, creampie, fingering, cunnilingus, sugar daddy behaviour
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༄ؘ ARMIN ARLERT
is the most entitled brat you’ve ever encountered. apparently his favourite thing to do is torment you. that, and not so subtly peek at your underwear.
“whoops! my bad.” he says after hitting the ball entirely out of range. “guess tennis isn’t my strong suit. go fetch it for me, will you?” you’re glowering, eyes flicking between the abundant basket of balls loaded into the tennis ball machine next to you and his stupid, perfect, smiling face. “of course.” you grit, stomping off in the direction of his swing.
you shriek as the ice cold lemonade makes contact with your shirt. the fabric sticks to your skin as the ice cubes leave wet trails across your collar bone. “oh i’m so sorry!” the heads that have turned to witness the commotion probably eat up his fake apology. but you know better, watching his eyes trace the outline of your nipples as he shoves napkins into your cleavage, not-so-accidentally squeezing the tops of your tits. he leans in close, whispering for only you to hear. “let me help you, bunny. don’t want you walking around all wet now, do we?”
the feeling of his blunt nails grazing your scalp makes you shiver, but it’s quickly replaced by a yelp when he grabs a fistful of hair and yanks you back to face him. the force of his thrusts is rattling the shelves of the storage cupboard, the wet sound of his skin slapping against yours filling the space around you. he’s sucking deep purple bruises into your neck, snarling into your ear as he presses you further into the wall. “you like being fucked like a slut? or just acting like one?” you can only moan in response, lost in the feeling of his pretty cock pistoning into you and mildly annoyed that your cunt clenches at his words. “yeah, you like—shit—you liked parading around half naked for those guys?” that isn’t exactly how you’d describe giving a group of boys directions to the snack bar in your lifeguard uniform, but the shoving of his fingers past your lips makes you think he didn’t really expect an answer anyway. he cums without warning, spills inside of you and sinks his canines into your throat as you whimper against him. once he’s pulled out, he tugs your panties back in place to stop his seed from trickling down your thighs. he kisses the marks on your neck gently, though his tone is anything but. “don’t let it happen again, bunny. you’re mine.”
༄ؘ ERWIN SMITH
he’s a romantic at heart, can’t help but shamelessly flirt to try and sweep you off your feet. you’ve told him to stop his extravagant tipping, but he insists. you do provide excellent service after all.
“would you be a dear and grab the 7-iron?” he asks, surveying the lushness of the course from behind his sunglasses. you smile and nod enthusiastically, trotting off to retrieve the club while he admires the sway of your hips in your cute little tennis skirt. you hold it out to him, expecting him to take it and swiftly begin his game. instead, he places his large palms over your hands, “do you play?” you try not to crumble under the weight of the ocean held in his eyes, “me? i—no. never.” he hums, gesturing to the tee, “allow me.” your breath hitches when he presses up behind you, his broad frame surrounding you as his hands come to rest on top of your own, gently coaxing you to swing.
“ah, there she is!” he spots you just as you’re exiting the back room back onto the floor, and his heart swells at the sight of the little diamond sitting in the centre of your clavicle. his little diamond. “why don’t you come and join me, darling? i could use a little luck it seems.” you practically skip over to him, perching yourself in his lap while looking over the hand he was dealt and the cards scattered across the table. you end up more focused on the game than him; he’s far more occupied with brushing the curls away from your neck, admiring the contrast of your skin to the pale silver of the chain and pressing a kiss to your nape.
“i told you, ‘s not fair on—oh fuck—on the others! y-you needa stop tipping like that, erwin.” you try and sound firm, but it fails miserably when your voice raises an octave on the last syllable of his name. the heat from your skin and your hurried breaths have fogged up the windows of his ridiculously expensive car as erwin eats your pussy like it’s what he was fucking born to do. he raises his head from between your legs, thick brows furrowed and chin dripping with your essence, his mouth opening to protest before you cut him off. “i’m serious.” you say, reaching down to brush the blonde locks from his forehead. he sighs, absentmindedly peppering kisses to your inner thigh. “fine. if you let me take you to dinner when i’m done here.” you open your mouth to answer, but it morphs into a groan in your throat when he presses the flat of his tongue to your clit. “y-yes! yeah fine, fine just—oh god—touch me please.” and he’s more than happy to oblige, sucking your swollen clit into his mouth and selfishly slipping a finger past your entrance in the hopes that your date could come just a little faster.
༄ؘ EREN JAEGER
isn’t exactly… the county clubs demographic. still, it doesn’t seem to stop him from walking around like he owns the place (which might be half true, you’re pretty sure his father has shares in the company).
your first thought is that the cherry red paint job and rumbling engine of his vintage mustang is more than a little obnoxious. it’s also your second thought when you take in his outfit as he steps out of the car: faded jeans and a leather jacket, with thick silver rings and shoulder length hair that’s haphazardly pulled up. your stuck up colleague frowns and addresses him, “uh, excuse me sir but i’m afraid there’s a fairly strict dress code.” you roll your eyes from your place at the valet stand, but don’t interfere. eren barely looks up from his phone, fishing a wad of notes from his back pocket. “how ‘bout i pay you to shut up and mind your fuckin’ business?” the snort that escapes you is involuntary, and you try desperately to cover it with a cough that neither men are convinced by. erens sharp eyes snap up to you, winking as he tosses you his keys and strolls inside.
“help! help i’m drowning! can’t—can’t swim—” you’re standing by the edge of the pool looking down at him completely unimpressed as he flails about in the shallow end. you quirk a brow and he stills, pouting. “what kind of lifeguard are you? i coulda really been dying…” scoffing, you turn to leave when his fingers wrap around your ankle and your heart drops. water rushes pash your ears as you’re dragged into the pool, kicking to the surface and hacking out your lungs. “what the fuck?!” you’re seething, screaming about your hair and scowling at him while he laughs until his sides hurt. once he starts to feel a little guilty, he cuts off your words, kissing away the chlorine from your lips and promising to make it up to you.
“that’s it, baby.” he groans, grip tightening on your hips to slam you down onto his cock. you’re still not used to his thickness, his blunt tip pressing against your soft cluster of nerves with no effort at all. “fuuck you look so pretty riding my dick. should take t’day off so you can sit on it all fuckin’ day.” he mutters into your sternum, busy trailing wet kisses to your tits and delivering harsh slaps to the meat of your ass. the sting from the cool metal of his rings has you reeling, pinpricks of pain melting into pleasure with each thrust of his hips. “or better yet,” he continues, “quit altogether so i can fuck you whenever i want.” you laugh breathlessly, nails digging into his chest as you bounce on his cock in the drivers seat of his mustang. “you already do that anyway. besides, c-can’t all live off of daddy’s money can we?” he loves that you’re still so sharp, even when you’re starting to drool from gushing around his cock. “that so? you want daddy to pay your shift, pretty girl? or you like fuckin’ me on the clock?” he gets distracted with the sloppy press of your mouth to his, by the lewd sounds of your perfect fucking cunt squelching with the final few lifts of his hips. but once he regains his focus he deposits 100 into your account (more than what you earn per shift, you berate) and tells you to call in sick. “i’m nowhere near done with you.”
༄ؘ JEAN KIRSTEIN
bless his heart he is a babbling, blushing mess around you :( he’s so easy to tease, but you mean well because he really is adorable.
he knows you’re busy when you’re working, so he tries not to hover or pester you too much (you wouldn’t mind in the slightest). but he sends things over to you all throughout your shift. you look a little flustered? he’ll send a drink over. lunch break still hours away? maybe you could use some snacks. “jean, you know i get snack privileges, right? and…unlimited drinks? like all day?” he did not know that. “of course i know that. you’re just… busy is all. less stress if i get them for you.” you hum, pretending not to see the pink that spreads across his cheeks.
“hey, so..wouldyouwannagettogetherafterworksometime?” you stop in your tracks, freezing your motions of putting your bag over your shoulder and dramatically sucking in air through your teeth. “that’s kinda an abuse of power don’t you think?” his dreamy hazel eyes are wide and you instantly have to bite your lip to stop laughter bursting out of you. “oh—oh my god, i’m so sorry i—i didn’t—” you’re grinning as you slink next to him, “i mean what’s an innocent employee of this fine establishment to do?” you drawl, boldly linking your hands together. “you’re— you’re joking.” he breaths, the fear trickling down his spine quickly replaced with relief. “yes. and i’d love to. if the offers still on the table after that.”
jean’s counting the number of paddle boards in the dim light of the pool supply shed when you come bustling through the door, breathless and gorgeous and his. his lips are on yours before words can manifest, running his hands down to your waist and pulling you close. “only have… 15 minutes.” you manage between heated kisses, and he hums, breaking the string of saliva that tethers your mouths when he drops to his knees. he’s sliding your shorts and panties down your legs and already looking at your centre greedily, but still you feel guilty. “wait, wait what about you? are you sure?” he looks up at you incredulously, already palming his erection at the lusty scent of your arousal. “are you kidding? gimme 10.” and when he plunges his tongue into the silky depths of your cunt, you can’t find it in you to protest. (he manages to tear the thin line of tissue under his tongue in his eagerness, but he seems perfectly content when you cum in 8 minutes).
a/n: this is a cry for help, sugar daddies hmu
#: @i4sgwr
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215-luv · a month ago
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“oh, honey.” your fave coos, eyeing you with so much longing as worry begins to fill him when he sees your teary eyes. he cups your cheeks on both of his hands, pulling you close to his face that leaves your noses touching. a sniffles comes out from you and he swears he feels his heart dropping down to his stomach. he feels so bad, terribly bad, feeling as if he’s at fault for not taking care of you better that he could no longer hold himself back when he lets his arms circle around your figure to pull you close to him. “i’m sorry. i’m so sorry.” he murmurs against the top of your head as if he’s at fault. he continues to gently rub his hand against your back, giving you lingering kisses on the side of your head. “i’m sorry honey. don’t you worry. i’m here. i’m right here. i’ll fight your fears away.”
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weluvsosa · a month ago
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imagine dating popular! eren and everyone thinks that your relationship is toxic and that he’s cheating because of how many girls want him but in reality, he’s a huge simp for you. eren will randomly slip little lover letters that he’s written or poems that remind him of you in your locker when you least expect it, he’s constantly texting you throughout the day to see how your classes are going and if you’re doing okay (and if you say no he’s quick to swoop you out of class and go take you to get your favorite food and vent to him)
when everyone else think that he’s going to some raging party tonight he’ll actually be at his house cuddled up with you on the couch as you both eat a bunch of snacks and scary movies movies together. when you finally go to sleep he’ll carry you up to his bed and gently lay you down before wrapping your hair up for you and cleaning off your face with the wipes he knows you use (that he stocked up on at his house for nights you stayed over) before laying down next to you and bringing you closer as he held you in his arms.
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sorecupid · 7 months ago
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you wipe his kiss off
⤷ eren, armin, jean, connie, reiner, porco
genre | fluff, a little suggestive 
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—  eren jaeger
lol this mf turns it into a game
when he kisses you and sees you wipe it off he knows exactly what you’re up to
he’s like “lets have a bet, and see who can last without touching/kissing each other longer” bc he’s a lil shit
and obviously you say ok!! bc this is much better than playing that lil joke on him
you two are very competitive with one another so this lasts a long time
after a few hours though, he plays SO dirty though
catch him wearing nothing but grey sweatpants that are hanging so low on him
and he KNOWS you’re so affected by it, he’s sending you teasing looks
you wanna touch him so badly but you don’t want to give him the satisfaction of winning !! so you hold it off as best as you can
which works until you’re both getting ready for bed
he’s just laying next to you, one hand tucked behind his head and the other scrolling on his phone
he’s literally doing the most mundane thing ever but he looks so sexc
so you just,, toss his phone out of his hands and lay on him and give him the longest kiss of your life because you feel so deprived of this man
and at the end,, ugh he just looks so smug and is like “ur so obsessed with me,, can’t even go a day without a kiss” and “next time you wipe it off ill torture u like this again”
—  armin arlert
armin is lowkey mean
if he gives you a kiss and you wipe it off, he will make you feel so bad about it
he knows you’re joking but he can’t help but milk it and get some affection from you
so he uses his pretty face to his advantage
will pull out his pouty face and glossy eyes
“did I do something wrong y/n?”
he literally makes you feel like you’ve kicked a puppy or something
so you, feeling bad, just deny that he did anything wrong and blame it all on yourself
he’ll definitely ask for a kiss to help him feel better and you just can’t refuse when he’s looking at you like that
he’ll make you dote and pamper him all day, cuddling and kissing until he feels content
—  jean kirschtein
frustration, complete frustration
“hey,, stop that”
you look at him and feign ignorance, “stop what???”
he kisses you again and you wipe it immediately
he goes “that!! Stop that!!!”
and you’re literally like bro, idk what you’re talking abt!!!
it’s a continuous cycle of him yelling that out, and kissing you with high hopes, only for them to be crushed as you wipe it away
soon enough you’re play fighting as he tries to kiss you but you just begin to outright refuse his kisses
“stop rejecting my love!!”
poor baby is trying so hard to land a kiss on your lips but you’re literally pushing his face away
once he gets dejected and stops, thats when you go to land a big fat kiss on his lips
he’ll just tug you to sit in his lap and wrap his arms around you
and honestly, he just forgets about all the struggle he went through and just enjoys it lol
—  connie springer
connie is so cute
honestly he’s the biggest ball of sunshine and he thinks you’re so cute no matter what you do
you wipe his kiss off??
it’s fine with him, he’s just happy he got to kiss you in the first place
but it doesn’t mean he’s going to stop
he doesn’t let your action bug him at all, he’ll just continue showering you with his love
will probably grab your face and leave smooches everywhere
if you laugh or giggle at all, it spurs him to kiss you even more
if you tell him to stop he’ll start whining
“whyyy~~ I just want to give my cutie some kisses~”
in the end you both forget about the whole thing and it turns into a kissing party
—  reiner braun
reiner is so cute and pure
so if you wipe his kiss off, immediately he thinks he’s done something to hurt you
baby feels so bad :(
let’s say you’re both sitting on the couch while this happens
he’ll get up from from the couch and kneel in front of you so he can look up at you
kinda like this 🧎‍♂️
and hold your hands gently with his
“i’m sorry if I’ve done something wrong” he’ll say while squeezing your hands
“i love you and never want to hurt you”
so when you tell him it’s all a joke, he gets so relieved !!
he holds so much affection for you and would beat himself up if he did something that hurt you
he won’t move from his kneeling position but he’ll lay his head in your lap and cuddle into you
play with his hair and apologize 😠
—  porco galliard 
yeah it won’t really work on him
he’s not a one smooch typa guy !
if you go in to kiss him you better be prepared to have your lips assaulted by his own
so if you try to kiss him and wipe it off he will not be the least bit phased
probably wouldn’t even notice it to be honest
because the moment you separate from him his eyes are just too fixated on your lips to notice you wiping it off
he’s just staring at your kips,,, thinking about kissing them again
and thats what he does!
he just cups your face in his hands and places a flurry of cute small kisses,, kinda pauses to stare into your eyes,,, and gives you a very,, deep kiss
BUT on the off chance that he does notice, he’s just like “no<3″
if you kiss him n wipe it off, he will repeatedly kiss you until your arm is too tired from continuously wiping it off
gets so smug after you don’t wipe it like “hehe i win”
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bunnys-babies · 7 months ago
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Relationship HC’s
headcannons
AOT x gn!reader
warning(s): none :)
a/n: I got so excited when I got this request LOL - here’s some random sfw relationship hcs for these folks! I love hearing from you guys and if you’d like more or for a different show I write for lemme know :))))
characters: armin, eren, connie, & jean
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Armin
Angry sleep talker LMAOOO
he falls asleep on the couch a lot in the living room and whenever you wake him up he’s got the biggest attitude ever and he won’t remember it at all
Sometimes it’s not even words he’ll just sleepily look at you like 😒 and then shuffle into the bedroom
But in the morning he’s waking you up all sweet
“G’morning, angel. Want some coffee?”
On that note, he has the cutest morning voice literally ever. It’s kind of raspy and whiny sounding, little voice cracks here and there, too.
He has to clear his throat a lot in the morning until he has some water cause he can’t help how dry his throat is
And when he talks in his actual sleep it’s always angry?? Like he’ll be laying next to you and just suddenly mumble something like “I’m begging you to shut the fuck up.” LMAOOO
You recorded and showed him once and he was BAFFLED. Anyways, maybe bedtime tea would do him some good 😭
OK MOVING ON
At the end of the day, Eren is his best friend, which means he can be just as annoying as Eren ASJDKSKDFN
But he thinks he’s slick and he’ll act like he “doesn’t know what he’s doing”
Until you tell him to knock it off and he’s got this small little smile saying, “knock what off, babe?”
He can’t help it he loves pushing your buttons and then kissing your cheeks after and giggling, and he thinks it’s so cute the way you try to stay grumpy with him when he knows you can’t resist him
Smh men </3
He always compliments at least one thing about you when he sees you every single time
And they’re specific, too! Even if it’s just a “oh my goshhhh you look so cute today!” It’s followed up by complimenting something specific about you
Has an amazing memory and will constantly check up on you about the smallest things that maybe even you forgot about
“Isn’t” the jealous type yet whenever someone seems to be flirting with you he just stands next to you like 😐🧍
And he keeps it up too until the other person gets the hint
In the nicest way possible - he has chihuahua energy
He gets a little overexcited when he sees you sometimes, especially if it’s been a little while since he’s been able to be with you
And he’s got an attitude like no other
Never at you but he’s always poppin his mouth off at somebody I stg
This might seem a little ooc for him but AGAIN - he’s been Eren’s friend for literal years and you can’t tell me he doesn’t act up ever 🤨
Especially if you’re involved, it doesn’t matter if he thinks he’ll win, he’s starting something (it’s funny cause it just so happens that Mikasa is right behind him the whole time too whenever he decides to get a lil mouthy LOL)
Anywayssss - he’s a lil cheeky but you’re his everything <333
Eren
So annoying so annoying so so annoying
Stg it’s his favorite hobby
But it’s fine cause he’s cute ig 😪
He’s constantly doting on you
Moving hair out of your eyes when you’re together, fixing your sleeve for you, he’s even wiped the corners of your mouth with a napkin while y’all were out eating once like it was nothing 😭
But he won’t tell you when your fly is down until he teases you about it first, sorry :/
More socially awkward than he seems, like asking you out took him a good while and he needed lots of convincing and encouragement from his entourage of friends
And if someone only you know were to run into the two of you, he’d be standing behind you awkwardly like 🙂 while you two talked and he’s probably making noises with his mouth and fucking with his sleeves
He also will text you nonsense if he’s anxious or waiting somewhere cause he wants to look busy so no one will bother him
He gets to his class first? Hell no it’s fucking awkward to sit in silence with your professor like that, he’s texting you so they won’t talk to him
Sometimes it’s just the word “hi” over and over again in a single message, but he always goes “don’t worry about my message I’m about to send” LMAO
BUT he’s also super bubbly and nice when people talk to him, like if the professor were to still spark conversation he’d be all smiles and politeness like 😁 that’s great! How was your weekend?
And internally he’s screaming and crying like LEAVE ME TF ALONE
Epitome of a “golden boy”
It also takes him a good while to realize you’re being ~flirty with him in the beginning, but he catches onto it pretty quickly the farther you guys get into your relationship
Actually pretty big on chivalry, but not in an obnoxious or try hard way. It’s pretty natural for him
Always pays the bill, no exceptions, the type to pull your seat out on instinct, tries to get out quick enough to open the door for you (his little jog to get around is really cute too), and sometimes he’ll even order the second dish you were debating between so you can have a bite or two
That last one works out really well too cause he’s not a picky eater at ALL lol
He’ll also hold your bag(s) for you when you guys go out
He even asked you blatantly if it was okay to kiss you for your guys’ first kiss, and officially asked you if he could be your boyfriend in person cause all that stuff matters to him
True definition of a gentleman
You can thank his mama for all that 🥰
He likes when you baby him a little in private though
Like if he’s sick and you take care of him - even a little - he’s like wow I’m marrying them. This is pure domestic love right here.
He is obsessed when you take his clothes and he catches you wearing them, he won’t tease you about it too often but it’s mainly because his heart always does a little flutter when he sees you wearing anything of his. It could even be jewelry lol
He’s pretty forgetful when it comes to important dates, but it’s not in a neglectful way, he’s just really bad at it 😭 he’s even forgotten his moms birthday once and nearly cried about it
He’ll even put reminders on his phone but that doesn’t help either, he just swipes the notification away like ?? And then forgets
This is why he totally has a nerdy little physical calendar in his kitchen AND his room and he writes EVERYTHING down on them too
And a little planner he takes to class! They are not color coded or cute though, just black chicken scratch but hey - if it works it works LOL
Your contact name and photo also changes on a nearly weekly basis depending on something you did or how he’s feeling
Connie
A GREAT kisser, and his lips are always soft
Let’s just get that out of the way now LOL
It doesn’t matter if it’s a quick peck, or full blown making out, it takes your breath away every time
He’ll have you bent in half laughing your ass off with him one moment, and then he’s kissing you and smiling the next and your heart can barely take it
He’s very naturally flirty with you too
He doesn’t try too hard or think too much about it, like he’s just being him around you and acting with no shame and it works very well in his favor
You can always tell when he wants to kiss you
One way is he keeps amazing eye contact with you when you talk, unless he’s thinking about kissing you. Then he’ll rest his chin on his palm and start giving you this look; his eyes get a little dreamy and half lidded, he starts to flip between your eyes and your lips, his responses become less animated and more of a collection of hums to let you know he’s still “listening”.
That and of course he’ll say “I want to kiss you so bad right now” LOL
He also is not afraid of PDA
And he loves holding your hand when you guys walk together
linking arms & having his arm slung around you are good options too
He surprisingly doesn’t tease you often, especially compared to how often him and Sasha get into it
He might gently pick on you here and there but never to the point where it’s ridiculously common with him
Even if you were friends first, you always noticed how he’d leave you untouched when he was starting shit (most definitely cause he had a crush on you)
It’s mainly because you’re a romantic partner for him, and the last thing he’d want to do is make you accidentally insecure about something or hurt your feelings
Truly scared of doing it
Anyways :)
He is very transparent about how serious he is about you since the beginning
Is not shy to tell you how much he likes you, and when he falls in love with you, he tells you that too
He doesn’t see the point in hiding things like that or being too “scared” to talk about his feelings once you two are in a relationship
It only leads to miscommunication, and why tf would he wanna do that??
That being said, he also tells you every time he has to shit LMAOOO
There are no secrets with him 🥴
Really likes squeezing your sides, arms, legs, cheeks, anything. Especially if he gives you a hug
HES SO SO TICKLISH
and it makes him so mad
You tickle him ONCE and he’s all “nah babe stop. 😐” LMAOOOO
He gets so mad because it like paralyzes him
He laughs so hard his stomach hurts and he can’t move 😭
He says it’s his only weakness 🙄
He’s not shy about much, even when you compliment him about his outfit or how he looks, he’s actually very good at receiving compliments.
HOWEVER
On a rare occasion, once every blue moon, you can make him very bashful
If you catch him right when he wakes up, and I mean like you’re already awake as he’s coming to, and touch his face all gently and call him pretty, he’s melting and snuggling into you like “babe stoppp”
He loves to rant and gossip with you, like it’s fr one of his biggest hobbies at this point LMAO
Getting coffee and just talking with you makes him so happy
He’s a very simple man who just has a lot of love for you it’s insane :)
Jean
When I say this man is whipped for you, I mean whipped
His baby can do no wrong honestly
A teensy bit jealous but it never crosses any lines or boundaries, but he can be a bit pouty sometimes if he gets a little jealous
Will randomly buy you things but not tell you he’s bought them LOL
You’ll just get a package one day and you’re like ??? Until he’s like yeah that’s for you open it :)
By now you just know if a random package appears at your doorstep it has to be Jean
He has the definition of heart eyes for you at all times
Yk in cartoons where they float behind the person they’re in love with and they look like 😍 bc yeah ^ that’s him LMAO
If he sees you he’s jogging up to you like 😁 hey baby!
He’s always so so so excited to see you
Tail wagging and everything 😩
At this point his Instagram is basically just you, to the point where if someone saw it they might think it’s YOUR insta
Honestly just obsessed with you in the healthiest way possible
He texts you random thoughts he has throughout the day and they don’t even always make sense 😭 he just likes talking to you that much
Sometimes he writes little important things about you in a journal so he won’t forget them
Like the colors you wore when he first asked you to be his, so when he gets you flowers on your anniversary they can match
VERY sappy shit like that
Talks to his mom about you so much
When he first saw you he texted his mom immediately just saying “omg mom I think I just fell in love”
She replied with “😳😮🥰☺️👏🏼🥶🥳🤩😎❣️❣️ WHO 😆☺️?”
She loves you just as much as he does and gets so excited when you come over for dinner
Also does the cliche mom thing where she shows you baby pictures of Jean and embarrasses the fuck outta him cause she can’t help herself
Will match with you whenever you ask, it doesn’t matter what either or how cheesy it is
Could be nails, shirts, accessories, a whole outfit it don’t matter - he’s doing it, and he actually gets really excited when you ask
His only exception is his hair :/ do not ask him to dye it or cut it, he’ll have to say no LOL
Speaking of hair, that mf sheds and you find his hair EVERYWHERE
On your clothes, in your bag, in your bed, in your mf underwear 😭
You tell him this and he just giggles like he’s soooo cute
He’s also so easy to make mad it’s very funny, you know just how to get under his skin
You’re lucky he loves you
——————
taglist: @d1lfluvr @plutowrites @carmillous @pretty-pop-princess-hs @alonezz @venusackerman @cupcakkesinflatedwetbussy @classyunknownlover @mossygreys (if you’d like to be added jus lemme know!)
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shawtuzi · 2 months ago
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“My position couldn’t stop, You were hittin’ it”
a/n: this is my most favorite thing i have ever written and was super self indulgent but i hope y’all love it just as much as i do <333
this is 18+ cw warning include: basketball player!eren, black coded reader, chubby reader, a good amount of fluff, SMUT!!!, unprotected sex, slight mean dom!eren but mostly service dom, oral both receiving, eren jerks himself off while he fucks readers throat, body praise, rough sex, slight manhandling, size kink, squirting, eren is wearing a chain in this (yes i believe that deserves a warning)///wc: 4.8k
One of the best parts of dating Eren was he had his own room. You don’t know how or know why but never complain because it does come with some pretty good perks. The biggest one being all the alone time you could possibly have.
“C’mon baby pleaseee” Eren whined flopping on the bed dramatically, “it’ll only be for an hour or two and I really want you to watch me play” he pouted resting his head on your soft stomach. “I don’t know Eren, it's really hot out and you know I just got my hair done” you spoke softly running your freshly manicured nails through his hair. For the past twenty minutes Eren had been bugging you to go to the park by your campus to watch him play basketball, but the insufferable heat the past week had you feeling skeptical.
“Baby the humidity is way down today it won’t be as bad…c’mon don’t you wanna be my lil cheerleader” he pouted once more giving you those oh so hard to resist puppy dog eyes. You sighed, staring up at the ceiling trying to avoid his hard stare on you. Suddenly you felt a weight drop on you nearly knocking all the breath out of your lungs. “Please Y/N pleaseee I want you to be there. I’ll even stop by that boba place you like so much before we go, yeah?” Eren pleaded, nuzzling his face into your neck. “Fine, fine! Now get off me you weigh a ton” you giggled attempting to push the 6’7 man off your body. Eren was up in a flash soon pulling your body off the bed with ease, “you’re the best” he smiled cupping your cheeks in his massive hands before planting a big sloppy kiss on your lips.
“I know I know lemme get dressed real quick” you giggled rummaging through the bag of clothes you leave there until you finally settled on a white tank top with Eren’s gray Nike shorts and the fuzzy slides you showed up in to show off your freshly painted white toes. “You ready love?” you asked, securing your hair up with a clip. “You look good” Eren whispered, wrapping his arms around your smaller form pressing a kiss to the crown of your head. “Even though I’ve been looking for these damn shorts for days” he chuckled pinching your side. You rolled your eyes shoving his body off you, “you don’t need to be wearing these shorts around anybody you can see your dick clear as day through them!”
Eren gasped, bringing his hand to his chest, “well if that’s the case I should steal your shirt! Your boobs are damn near about to pop out” he huffed pulling your tank top up to cover your cleavage. You rolled your eyes once more before slinging your purse over your shoulder, “you wanted a thick woman this is what you asked for baby” you giggled making a smirk grace Eren’s face. “Yeah you’re right and I couldn’t ask for a better woman. Now let’s get going, we're burning daylight.” Before the two of you could even make it out of the building you were begging Eren for a piggyback ride which he of course couldn't say no to. Eren set you down when you two made it to his car and raced to your side to open the door for you, “m’lady” he said with a cheeky smile. “Why thank you kind sir” you smiled back giving his cheek a small peck.
As promised Eren stopped to buy you some boba tea insisting he didn’t want any even though he was steady drinking all of it on the way to the park. “You were right it is beautiful out” you sighed dreamily breathing in the fresh air. “I would never lie to my lady. My beautiful, smart, sexy lady” he chuckled, wrapping his arm around you. As you got closer you could see Connie, Armin, and Reiner playing basketball while Mikasa and Annie were sitting on a bench nearby talking. “About time you two got here” Connie shouted, throwing the ball Eren’s way. You gasped, avoiding the hit from the ball in Eren’s side but of course Eren caught it giving you a teasing smile “scaredy cat.”
“Shut up and go play” you grumbled walking away but Eren stayed in his place his brows furrowed, “no kiss?” You tried hiding your smile as you walked back over getting on the tips of your toes to try and give him a kiss but it was no use he was just too fucking tall. “Erennn c’mon help me out here” you whined and finally after a few more failed attempts he met you halfway giving you a sweet kiss. “You ready to get your ass beat Jaeger?” Reiner asked with a devious smile on his face. Eren scoffed joining the rest of them on the court, “you kidding me? With my girl here to cheer me on I’m fucking invicible!” he shouted the last part making your cheeks heat up. He was too damn cute for his own good.
While the boys played you spent the time talking to Annie and Mikasa losing your train of thought every once in a while when you caught a glance of Eren playing. He looked so good it was criminal and it didn’t make things better when he wiped his face with the hem of his shirt constantly. “So how are things with you two?” Annie asked, poking your side. A small smile made its way to your face when you thought about the memories you and Eren have made together. Ever since that night the two of you had become inseparable, your relationship with Jean now a distant thought. “It’s been perfect…he’s perfect. He makes me so happy and makes me feel so beautiful” you spoke softly, your smile growing wider seeing how concentrated Eren was on the game. “And the sex?” Mikasa giggled the question, making heat rise to your cheeks.
Sex with Eren was something unworldly to keep it simple. He could either be slow and sensual or fuck you till you’re shaking and begging him for a break. Either way it was the best sex of your life. “Let’s just say I haven’t been able to properly walk since I’ve gotten with him” you laughed covering your face with your hands. “Look at you our little sex addict” Annie squealed wrapping her arm around you pulling you close. “Let’s change the subject before one of them hears” you whispered, trying not to think of all the things you and Eren are gonna do once you leave. His sex drive increases tenfold after a win and his stamina….chile.
“That’s game we win!” Eren cheered, running over to you and picking you up with ease, “see baby you’re my good luck charm” he smiled pressing multiple kisses all over your face. “Only because you’re a fucking giant” Connie hissed shooting the ball into the basket. Eren rolled his eyes, setting you down gently, “yeah yeah whatever we’ll see you guys later” he chuckled dapping them up before starting your guys’ walk back to the car. When you approached the car Eren turned your body towards his pushing you gently against the passenger door, “see ma that wasn’t so bad” he whispered, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. You tugged on the waistband of his shorts pulling him closer, “yeah you were right it was pretty fun, but it was kinda hard to concentrate when you were showing your abs every 5 minutes” you giggled trailing your fingers down his hard chest.
Feeling the ridges of his abs had your thighs clenching and it didn’t go unnoticed by Eren. “I was a little sweatier than usual, sue me” he chuckled, bringing one of his hands up to grip your chin softly, “now give me my victory kiss.” Instead of giving a snappy remark you gave into his wishes giving him a sweet kiss. Eren groaned into the kiss pushing his body harder against yours, his hard on becoming more prominent by the minute. “Eren not right here” you whispered breathlessly trying to put some kind of distance between the two of you. “Fine… but when we get back to my dorm I’m gonna pound your pussy till you’re crying” Eren moved you aside and opened the door for you chuckling when he saw your shocked face. Even after a couple of weeks of being together his foul mouth never failed to shock you and he loved it. “You’re disgusting” you mumbled gasping when you felt a harsh smack on your ass. “I hate when you do that” you hissed rubbing your stinging behind before plopping into the passenger seat. “You love it now, buckle up gorgeous.”
The ride back to campus was eerily quiet besides the radio playing quietly and you decided to have a little fun with Eren before he manhandled into multiple positions till you fainted. You set your hand on his painfully hard dick squeezing softy earning a groan from Eren, “fuck are you doing?” he growled, gripping the steering wheel tightly. “Oh nothin’” you smiled, rubbing his cock slowly over his shorts. You felt his dick twitch and it had your mouth watering the need to put it in your mouth growing stronger by the second. “Baby please we’re just- fuck five minutes away don’t do this to me” he groaned bucking his hips up. Eren wanted more than anything to fuck your mouth in that moment but he didn’t trust himself enough to multitask between the two. “I’m telling you Y/N you better knock that shit off” but his requests were falling on deaf ears.
Unfortunately for Eren your teasing didn’t stop until he parked in front of the dorm building and unfortunately for you Eren was at his limit. He gripped your chin roughly sending you an icy glare, “you think that shit was funny huh?” the confidence you once had crushed once you saw the look in his eye. “No…m’sorry babe” you mumbled, squeezing your thighs together. Eren let out a long sigh through his nose before gaining his composure, “how sorry are you?” his grip on your chin tightened causing your lips to pucker. “Really really sorry Eren” you whimpered, feeling incredibly small under his hard stare. “Yeah we’ll see how sorry you really are. Get out of the car.”
The walk back to Eren’s room was silent and you should’ve been nervous for what he had in store for you but you couldn’t help the excitement that coursed through your veins. “That wasn’t very nice of you to do back there Y/N” Eren said, finally breaking the silence. “I-I know but-” “Let me finish baby” he abruptly cut you off, shutting the door behind him once you two entered his room. “You see how fucking hard I am now?” he growled gripping his dick over his shorts, “god and I feel so full too looks like you’re gonna be putting in a lot of work tonight aren’t you baby?” he smiled wickedly walking closer to you like a wolf ready to pounce on a lamb. You whimpered giving him a small nod but that wasn’t enough for Eren. “C’mon ma need you to use your words for me. You gonna suck my dick till you’re a drooling mess? Gonna let me fuck those pretty thick thighs hm? Or how ‘bout these?” he chuckled, gripping both of your tits in his large hands squeezing them roughly.
Your mouth was opened but no words were able to escape giving Eren the perfect opportunity to shove two fingers in your mouth, the sudden intrusion making you gag. “Well since you can’t use your words let’s put that mouth to better use” he grunted pressing his fingers down on your tongue. While Eren fucked your mouth with his fingers he used his other hand to tug down your shorts chuckling when he saw the small wet patch you made. “Look at you making a mess in my clothes, you really have the sluttiest pussy don’t you?” he smirked, adding a third finger into your drooling mouth. All you could do was let out a pathetic moan praying Eren would soon switch out his fingers for his dick and your prayers were answered when you felt him shove you to the floor but not before putting a pillow down so you didn’t hurt your knees <3 Your hands were quick to tug on the waistband of his shorts but he just smacked your hands away, “keep your hands behind your back or you get nothing.” You shakily put your hands under your knees bringing a sickeningly sweet smile to Eren’s face, “there’s my girl…my good girl.”
Eren tugged his shorts down slowly and after what felt like an eternity his dick finally sprung out slapping against his stomach. He wrapped a hand around his cock pumping it slowly, his eyes fluttering shut every time he ran his thumb over the sensitive tip. You leant forward just to get a small taste of the pre that was dribbling from the slit but instead were met with a rough smack on your cheek, “did I say you could suck my dick? Huh?” he growled not once stopping his movements on his dick. “N-no” you whispered, bowing your head in shame. You looked fucking adorable. “Then why would you try that shit with me? Do you want to get punished even more? How ‘bout I open the door so everyone can see you getting your throat fucked.”
You shook your head quickly trying to find any composure you had to form a sentence, “No! I just- I just wanted a taste…” you pouted looking up at him with the cutest doe eyes. “Oh? Pretty baby just wanted a taste huh? Well here” he smiled tapping his dick against your pouting lips. As soon as he pulled his dick away you licked your lips moaning at the salty yet sweet taste of him. “M-more Eren please” you whined the itch to touch him growing even more. Deciding to test the waters you leaned forward pressing light kisses up the length of his cock leaving an especially long kiss to the tip. Eren hummed in content, giving you a small nod as a silent way of telling you to continue and you happily obliged, switching out the soft kisses for more sloppier ones even going as far as suckling on his tip.
Without warning Eren gripped your hair and pushed your head down until your nose was touching his pelvis, nearly crushing the clip that was keeping your hair up. “Ngh fuck don’t worry baby I won’t be too rough I know you just got your hair done yesterday. I would know since I paid for it” he chuckled breathlessly, his head tipping back when he felt your throat tighten around his cock. You gargled around his dick breathing harshly through your nose and relaxing your jaw to accommodate his size but it was basically useless. You’d never get used to how big Eren’s dick was, no amount of prep could prepare you for him.
Eren slowly slid your head back and forth on his dick relishing in your gags and moans. “Love this color on you princess so damn pretty” he rasped twirling the slightly dark ginger hair with his free hand. You were tuning in and out, your attention focused directly on making him feel good. You hadn’t even realized you were rocking your hips back and forth on the pillow until you felt multiple slaps on your cheek stopping your movements altogether. “What do you think you’re doing?” Eren snapped removing his dick from your mouth with a lewd pop. “I- I was-” suddenly you were yanked up by your arm, your body now beginning to tremble from how bad you needed him.
Eren leant down resting his forehead against yours the smell of his cologne and sweat making you dizzy. “Lay down on the bed with your head hanging off the end.” You have never moved faster in your life hopping onto his bed and laying back until your head was hanging off the edge. Eren slowly walked over tapping the tip of his dick against your swollen lips before pushing it in, the bulge of his dick in your throat making him let out a guttural groan. “Fuck baby” he huffed taking both of your hands in his much bigger one while the other wrapped around your throat. “Yeah that’s it ma take that shit” he moved his hands up and down your throat, his head lolling back and toes curling at the immense pleasure he was receiving (i saw a vid of a guy jacking himself off while fucking a girls throat and couldn’t resist but anyways).
“How you doing down there baby?” he grunted, loosening his grip on your hands. You hummed in content bringing one of his hands down to your panties, the material soaked with your arousal. Eren decided to give into your silent plea rubbing your clit over your panties making your back arch slightly. It was becoming increasingly hard to focus on your breathing while Eren was toying with your pussy but you pulled through knowing he was minutes away from cumming. You stuck your tongue out as much as you could running it over his balls and that’s what finally did it. “F-fuck shit I’m cumming baby” he removed his hand from your throat and yanked your tank top down exposing your full breasts bouncing ever so softly with each thrust of his hips.
Just as he was about to cum Eren pinched your nose blocking out any way of breathing you had, “agh shit” he let a loud almost pornographic moan when he felt your throat tighten around his dick. Seconds later you felt his cum shoot down your throat load after load. “Fuuuck” he sighed, pulling his softening dick out of your mouth when your gagging became more aggressive. “Did so good baby” he smiled, bending down to give your forehead a kiss and then your lips shoving his tongue in your mouth to get a taste of himself. “Erennn” you whimpered, sitting up to face him. He was now standing at his full height looking more intimidating than ever, “what is it princess what do you need?”
Instead of speaking you just spread your legs pulling your panties to the side giving him a mouthwatering view of your slicked pussy and thighs. Eren couldn’t help but fall to his knees at the sight, you truly had the prettiest pussy he’s ever seen. If he had to have one last meal it would be you. He ran his hands over the underside of your thick thighs hooking them over his broad shoulders. “So fucking pretty” he groaned giving your thighs sloppy kisses all the down to where you needed him most. “C’mon Ren don’t tease m- hah!” you squealed when you felt him lick a fat stripe up your pussy. Your thighs immediately wrapped around his head when you felt him suckle on your clit. “Shit Ren” you were practically humping his face and he gladly accepted it tongue fucking your pussy with everything he had.
You were just on the brink of cumming when you heard harsh knocks on the door, your heart dropping at the sound. Eren lifted his head up, his eyes narrowing at the door, “keep rubbing that pretty pussy for me but don’t make a sound and don’t cum either, got it?” he asked his annoyance only growing more when he heard more knocks. You silently nodded, bringing your hand down to rub slowly at your clit. “Good girl. This’ll be quick” he grunted standing up, slipping his shorts on and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Eren swung open the door just as the person was about to knock again, “can I help you?” he snapped his grip on the doorknob becoming iron tight. He knew this boy all too well, always making complaints about how noisy it was to the other guys in the dorm and now Eren. “Yeah actually I was wondering if you could tell your girlfriend if she could shut her fat… mouth” he trailed off once he saw the severely annoyed look on Eren’s face.
You couldn’t tell who it was Eren’s huge body blocking your view but you didn’t care knowing he’d take care of it. He always did. Eren breathed in through his nose trying to compose himself, “you have ten seconds to get the fuck away from my door before break your nose if you got a problem with it put on some damn headphones.” The boy was utterly speechless just like any other boy that tried to step up to Eren, “and if I ever hear the words fat and my girlfriends name come out of your mouth at the same time I will beat the living shit out of you, you wish you could pull someone like her. Now get the fuck out my face” he snapped slamming the door.
Eren sighed, running a hand through his hair before tying it up walking back over to you. “Sorry that took so long, gorgeous hope you didn’t miss me too much” he smiled taking in your trembling form. He yanked your panties off, tossing them aside before getting on knees tossing your legs over his shoulders once more. He dug in without another word licking and sucking at your pussy like his life depended on it. “W-who was that Ren? Was I- shit being too loud?” you whimpered tilting your head to look at the door. Eren brought a hand up to force you to look back at him, “no baby you were fine don’t worry about that just focus on me” he purred pressing a kiss to your clit. “Are you sure- aah” your hips jolted up when you felt a slap on your pussy, “yes it’s fine I promise and if anyone ever says otherwise you just let me know mkay?” he inserted two fingers in your cunt curling them slightly once he felt that spongy spot that had your toes curling.
Your so called ‘punishment’ was a forgotten thought Eren now only focused on making you feel good. “You’re so pretty Y/N” he whispered, leaving sloppy kisses on your trembling thighs. It was a true mystery to him how you could’ve ever been unhappy with the way you looked, you were a walking goddess to him and he made sure to remind you every time he saw you. “Erennn” you slung your arm over your face to cover your smile which made his smile grow wider. He added a third finger when he heard the squelching from your pussy get louder. “M’serious babe you’re so beautiful. Got the prettiest eyes and the prettiest lips” he brought his free hand up to your chest tweaking your nipple, “and the prettiest tits.” His hand slowly slid down your body lifting your tank top slightly above your naval, his fingers softly drifting over the stretch marks that he adored and the hip dips he found incredibly sexy.
“Eren I’m gonna cum s’gonna be messy” you whined, grabbing his hand in yours, lacing your fingers together. “That’s it princess cum for me make a fucking mess” he growled increasing the pace of his fingers. By the time you finished cumming Eren’s hand and wrist were glistening in the light from the sunset. “That’s my good girl” he grinned, slurping at your pussy the obscene sound making heat rise to your cheeks. “You ready for me?” he asked, giving your clit one final kiss. You nodded quickly removing your tank top fully giving him the perfect view of your body. Eren stood up removing his shorts before lifting your calves over his shoulder. He tapped his tip against your clit a few times then slowly slid his cock in your soaked pussy. The both of you moaned in unison once he was fully in, his forehead pressed snuggly against yours.
He pulled out till only the tip was in before slamming in you again, his cock kissing your cervix with every hard thrust. “Ah shit so fucking tight” he buried his head in your neck inhaling the sweet scent of shea butter, the smell was like a drug to him he just couldn’t get enough. “Fuck Ren!” you cried wrapping your legs around his waist pulling him even closer. It was a silent sign you wanted him to finish inside you and he was more than happy to oblige. By now any attempt you had to control the volume of your voice was gone. You were now reduced to a fucked out drooling mess completely braindead from from his cock bullying into your weeping pussy. The new chain you had bought him dangled in your face brushing against your lips so you took it upon yourself to take the tiny cross in your mouth suckling at it. “You’re gonna kill me Y/N Jesus Christ” he whined squeezing his eyes shut.
“Shit-” Eren pulled out rubbing the head of cock against your clit until you were squirting all over his flexing thighs. “F-fuck put it back in please put it back it in” your thighs were shaking uncontrollably and your pussy was so sore but you wanted more- no you needed more. Eren listened to your desperate pleas standing at his full height, gripping onto your hips before snapping his hips forward splitting you open again once more. “Shiiit that’s right baby lemme feel you” his head fell back the only thing consuming his thoughts was your pussy and how deliciously tight it was. You didn’t even notice Eren had slowly been lifting your body up until you no longer felt the mattress under your head. With shaky arms you pushed yourself up admiring the fuck out look on Eren’s face.
The chain bouncing against his toned chest had you drooling. Literally. A line of spit had trailed from your lips down your chin and onto your chest. “E-Eren I’m gonna-!” you squealed, arching your back. Eren didn’t care to pull out this time, keeping his rough pace as you covered his stomach in your cum. “Jesus Y/N” he growled stilling his movements as he came deep in your pussy. “Think you can go one more time for me baby? You feel so good ‘nd I want you to cum wit’ me.” His voice was beginning to slur and his thighs were shaking but he had to cum with you one more time. Poor baby just had to.
You could tell he was tired but wanted to push himself so you gave in but only if he agreed to let you ride. Which he did. Eren was now on his back, one hand glued to your side while the other toyed with your nipple as you rode him. The slaps of your ass against his thighs were becoming louder by the minute your drooling cunt soaking his thighs and pelvis. “Lean forward I wanna put ‘em in my mouth” he rasped referring to your bouncing tits. You obliged switching out your bounces for slow grinds allowing Eren to latch onto one of your nipples.
He wrapped his arms around your waist and bent his knees before fucking into, his headboard beginning to obnoxiously hit the wall leaving a very visible dent. “I’m right there baby, you close?” his thrust were becoming sloppier by the second his dick nearly slipping out of you, but with the way you were sucking him in it wasn’t a problem. “Y-yes I-I’m there I’m cumming!” you let out the most pornographic moan of your life going limp in Eren’s arms as his brutal pace continued. The shiny circle of white around his cock was enough to put him over the edge filling you up with every drop he had.
“Shit you good ma?” he laughed wrapping his arms around your shaking form pressing multiple kisses to the crown of your head. “Mhm” you mumbled, finding zero energy to open your eyes. Eren reached to the side and grabbed the matching Kuromi & My Melody blanket you gave to him as a gift, covering your body with the soft material. “You get some sleep. I’ll wake you up in a bit and we’ll get sum to eat” he whispered stroking your messy hair that he promised but failed to keep intact. “Sleep good I love y-” he cut himself off, covering the last part with a cough. “You good?” you slurred on the brink of falling asleep.
“Yep I’m all good, go to sleep babe.”
<3
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slttygeto · 8 months ago
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𝗠𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗿𝘆—he likes it not because he's vanilla which there's nothing wrong with, but because he's obsessed with your facial expressions when he slides his cock in. you always give him the same ego boost, his chest and cock swelling with pride when your face turns a bit red, eyes unfocusing before throwing your head back with a whine, gripping his shoulders to tell him how big he is. he will immediately pin your knees to your chest and fuck your brains out, can't have his pretty baby wait for too long<3
toji fushiguro, reiner braun, colt grice, kuroo tetsuro, mitsuya takashi, matsukawa issei, nanami kento, levi ackerman.
𝗗𝗼𝗴𝗴𝘆—he's obsessed with your ass, nothing more nothing less but he's also obsessed with the curve of your back, with the way you rest your cheek on the pillow as you try to catch your breath while he's blowing your back, eyebrows furrowed and eyes teary as you beg him for more, to reach deeper spots and fill you with him. he could never get enough of you or the sounds that you make for him, you're so gorgeous.
gojo satoru, ran haitani, ryuuguji ken, shinichiro sano, meian shugo, zeke jaeger, atsumu miya, suna rintarou.
𝗖𝗼𝘄𝗴𝗶𝗿𝗹—bounce on his cock pretty, dont you look so cute when you're eagerly trying to make him feel good? you ask him to relax and let you take the lead but halfway through, your pretty thighs start shaking and he can't help but coo at the way you hold his shoulders for support, almost begging him to help you. don't worry about it pretty, he will thrust up into you so hard that you'll have to hold onto him and let him take over. hug him and cry into his shoulder, he will fuck you extra good for it.
porco galliard, aizawa shouta, iwaizumi hajime, manjiro sano, geto suguru, bokuto koutarou, eren jaeger, jean kirschtein.
2022 © all works belong to slttygeto. do not repost my work anywhere else.
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suukee · 23 days ago
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a part of me
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⊹ levi cannot stop touching you in the most innocent way.
content › soft levi x (fem) reader, canon, death (not about reader/levi) and insecurities but this is fluffy!
my notes › reposting from my main blog :D some differences but still unedited though. wow it’s almost 3 am zzz…
word count › 660
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Levi can’t stop touching you, in the most innocent way.
He has lost nearly everyone he once treasured. His mother passed away when he was still too young to be on his own. His caretaker abandoned him when he was barely a teenager, later dying in front of him after learning that this was his uncle all along. Furlan and Isabel, the first two people he considered his family in his adult years, devoured on their first expedition outside the walls. His first squad laid their lives down after a mission went south, being unable to protect them as they always had for him. Then his commander, who led a great sacrifice for the sake of humanity. A choice Levi had made that caused the lives of new recruits to end so soon.
Gone. Just like that. A bittersweet memory is all that’s left behind. A nightmare that taunts him when he thinks he’s got it wrapped around his head.
But through such hardships, there is you. The person who has survived countless of battles along his side. The only person in the entire world to who he will cry to, vent to, and lean on when he needs to. His comfort, his best friend — it’s always been you.
Anyone who spots the captain holding your hand or kissing your cheek would find it strange. He doesn’t want to be touched by anyone or let alone touch someone himself. He’s damn intimidating. And while it took some time to get to the point he could freely be himself, this thought that he doesn’t deserve you still eats at him.
You look at him as a living person, not Humanities Strongest. You have gone through hell and back just to get to know him, to understand him — why he acts and feels the way he does. Your devotion and love is so innocent and pure, he knows you’d do it all over again just for him.
He had tried to push you away in hopes of the day that when he does lose you, it wouldn’t hurt so much. But as his calloused hands find its place on the soft skin of your face, noses brushing against each other, your giggles echoing in his ears, he understands. You’re one to protect — to lay his life down for, to keep close, a reason to look ahead.
During meetings or meals, there are times where Levi sits across from you and rests the tip of his boot atop yours lightly. Just his way of keeping contact with you. If he decides to sit next to you, he’ll be close enough where your knees or legs press against his. It did take him some time to kiss you — not that he does it often in public, anyway — but he came to terms on holding your hand or keeping a grip around your waist whenever you’re out together.
Behind closed doors, he holds you so close, hugging you tightly like you’ll disappear if he lets go. He loves it when you come to office late at night, settling yourself on his lap as he completes his work — writing with one hand and holding you against him with the other. During his most tired times, Levi loves to rest his head on your shoulder, keeping a hand on your thigh and gently caressing it. His body weight is all on you when he’s knocked out cuddling, not that you’ve ever complained about it. Not that you ever will.
Who would’ve guessed the stoic captain had such a soft side?
God, he needs you in the night. Whether it’s your chest or your lap, that becomes his favorite pillow. Your fingers playing with his hair or rubbing his back boosts his melatonin. Your arms are the safest place in such an unforgiving world. You’re this calming piece of his life he does not dare to lose. He can’t.
Who was he without you? He doesn’t want to remember.
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back to masterlist
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ficsforeren · 7 months ago
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Keep It Between Us
Pairing: Eren Jaeger X Female Reader X Jean Kirstein
Genre: Idol AU, Smut, Fluff, Humor
Summary: Eren and Jean are one of the hottest male idols working in the industry right now, but honestly? You’re tired of their antics. You’ve been working as their personal assistant for three months and your patience is about to snap. One night, with cocky smirks and leering eyes, they invite you over for a drink. You smile. It’s time for your revenge.
Warnings: threesome, rough and unprotected sex, food play, daddy kink, degradation kink, humiliation, cream pie, slapping, spanking, spitting, choking, use of a leash, oral sex (blow jobs and cunnilingus), fingering, hand job, praising, hard dom Eren, switch reader (but more of a dom) and sub Jean with EreJean being chaotic bisexuals.
Word Count: 20K+ (I'm so sorry, I need to include plot to make their threesome believable)
AN: Dedicating this fic to my most favorite person in the world, Sandra (@smfics), who's having her birthday today! 🎉🎉🎉This is part of her Reader's in Charge collab too. Thank you for giving me the opportunity, babe! I had so much fun writing this one, this is probably my filthiest fic so far lmao. Idol Ren will also show up in her fic called A Little Too Personal so if you want to see some seggsy times between him and CEO Ren, don't miss that one too!
Poster art by the talented @viii0_8 on Twitter (use with permission)
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“You want us to do what?”
“Suck each other off.”
It’s their first time witnessing a filthy smirk written on your face. Taking a seat on the edge of the bed, you’re dressed in nothing but your lacy lingerie, your breasts fully exposed. You have your legs crossed with your palms settled on the sheets, leaning back with your chin tilted up in vanity. You’re exuding confidence; a thick layer of enticement fogging your enchanting eyes.
Eren Jaeger and Jean Kirstein, two talented idols from an infamous four-member group named AXIS, eye you up and down, almost gawking at the sight. A hungry look flits through their faces, wanting nothing more but to wipe that conceited smile off your lips. They’re so used to being wanted, of having their names screamed by their fans, that they are left stupefied when the girl they want seems to stay unfazed under their lustful stare.
You meet the intensity of their gazes with your mischievous one, loving the way they’re dancing in the palm of your hand. You’re done acting as their silly little doll. The strings have been cut off and now it’s time for you to become their puppeteer.
“I don’t know if you’ve ever been in a threesome,” Jean says, “But this is not how it works, Sweetheart.” His usual cocky smirk remains intact but with the plans you have in mind, it won’t stay there for long.
“It’s either his cock in your mouth and my cock in your cunt,” Eren joins in. Unlike Jean, his smirk is impish. Boyish. Bratty. “Or the other way around.”
“Oh, stop being so predictable.” You roll your eyes, but it’s playful. Combined with your little crooked grin? Seductive. “Let’s have fun.”
“If by fun, you mean having this asshole’s cock in my mouth,” Jean snorts. “Then, no thanks.”
Eren chortles cynically. “Yeah, it wouldn’t fit anyway.”
“What did you say, Jaeger?”
“I’m saying my cock is bigger than your ego and that’s saying something. What, you got a problem with that, Horseface?”
“You fucking—” Jean stops short when he notices you’re shifting in your seat.
Both men’s attention instantly lands on the way you’re spreading your legs, giving them enough glimpse of your bright red embroidered thong panty. Your lingerie looks amazing on you, the color complimenting your skin so much, it makes their throbbing lengths strain against their jeans. It doesn’t leave much room for their imagination to wander, but that’s exactly what they want to see. They don’t want to just imagine holding you. They want to fuck your brains out.
“When I said fun,” you coo, running your tongue across your lower lip, making it glisten beautifully under the dim, yellowish light of their hotel room. “I meant…” Tarrying, you slide your fingers down your stomach. Making their way to settle between your thighs, you rub your clothed heat, letting out a low, “Mmm,” as you keep your gazes locked. “Having you both fuck me at the same time.” You let your jaw drop slightly, enough to let them take a peek at your tongue. “And I wasn’t talking about having you in my mouth.”
You, right now, are sexier than any girl—than any porn they’ve ever seen. Eren, especially, after going through weeks of wanting to know how fucking sweet you would taste on his tongue, is about to lose it.
There are two seconds of silence where you can practically hear their thoughts running a thousand miles per hour, then—
“Wait!” Jean’s face nearly bursts into flames when his bandmate turns to face him, hasty hands working on his belt. “No—stop—” Eren harshly yanks his belt out of his loops, tossing it to the floor before his fingers work on Jean’s zipper. “Eren—What the fuck are you doing?!”
The brunette grabs a fistful of the other man’s shirt, yanking him down by the collar. “Improvising,” Eren states, a moment before their mouths collide.
But let’s stop there for a second.
Now, you must be wondering, how the hell did I get myself into this situation? How did you manage to get the two hottest idols working in the industry wrapped around your fingers? How did you get the world’s two straightest men to toss their sexuality aside under your command?
Let’s go back in time, shall we?
***
Three months ago, you were just a normal college student—just as broke, just as tired, just as single. And frustrated. In more ways than one—no, perhaps even in every way. You were doing okay with your grades but other than that? You were screwed. You barely had any friends, you had family issues just like any other teen out there, and what’s worse was that you needed money to pay for your college tuition fee, otherwise you couldn’t graduate. And you didn’t just spend three years in that shithole just to not graduate in the end.
So, obviously, you started looking for a job. You were ready to take a late-night shift at a local diner when your phone rang. It was truly a blessing, you thought, when your aunt’s name showed up on the screen. “Are you free this summer?” She queried with nothing but weariness in her voice. You felt sorry, sure, but her being that exhausted only meant one thing: money. “I could really use your help.”
Your aunt was a manager, hired by CMN Entertainment. What did she manage? Idols.
Ever since three years ago, she had been working together with CMN’s latest rising star—a talented group called AXIS. You’d seen them enough on TV, though you wouldn’t call yourself a fan, at least not a hardcore one. You felt like it was too old for you to drool over cute boys dancing to electronic pop music. And their merchandises were also expensive as fuck. You weren’t ready to live the hard life of being a fangirl.
“My body literally can’t take it anymore,” she sighed. “I got offers from a lot of people, begging the boys to do interviews with them, or perform on their shows, or drink some questionable sodas for these damn summer commercials. I need to deal with all the meetings. Not to mention I have to arrange their schedules too. Every member has their own gigs now and I am losing my mind.”
You smiled, seemingly sweet but utterly wicked. “And how may I help you?”
“Can you be my assistant? I need you to take care of the boys, just for three months. Once the summer ends, they won’t be as busy as they are now so you can leave if you want to. It’s really simple. You just have to get their coffees, order food for them, deliver their costumes, and drive them places. And just, you know, do what they ask you to do.”
Now, that didn’t sound so bad at all, did it? The payment was good, and you’d get to return to your dorm by the end of summer. Three months with four cute boys who wore sexy outfits on the stage. This should be fun, you giggled, almost evilly in your head. They seemed so kind and adorable when you saw them on TV, always smiling during their concerts, treating their fans like they were friends during fan meetings. Out of all the boy bands that were working in the industry right now, AXIS was one of the very few groups that seemed genuinely humble.
So when you strolled inside the building of CMN Entertainment, you had the biggest smile plastered on your face. You were so excited to begin your friendship with four young celebrities whose popularity was escalating quickly not just within the country, but overseas too. You felt proud and lucky, but mostly proud. By the end of this job, you would totally brag about it non-stop to your friends. Hell, you’d probably even gloat about it to the next stranger you met on the street. “Guess who’s the lucky bitch who gets to see AXIS’ bare faces in the morning? Me.” It may sound a bit creepy, but it would be a great conversation starter, nonetheless.
Within a matter of three days, however, you realized that fun was not the right term. Torture was more like it.
Eren Jaeger, Jean Kirstein, Armin Arlert, Marco Bodt. You weren’t sure why the hell did they choose the word AXIS to be their group name, but it was clearly not an acronym for their names. They were the boys you had to assist for about ninety days from now. But you weren’t their assistant. You were their fucking slave.
Now, to be fair, Armin and Marco—these two were truly sweethearts. They greeted you with a smile the second you were introduced to them by your aunt—who left hurriedly to take a call after saying literally three lines. When you offered Armin your hand, he took it and reciprocated with the warmest, teddy bear hug you had ever received from a boy. Marco had the cutest freckles on his face, and he laughed wholeheartedly when you told him that you thought those were just make-up to make him seem unique. “You’re brutally honest, aren’t you?” he spoke fondly. He bent his head down so you could take a closer look, even let you poke his cheek if you wanted to.
They whipped out their phones, typing down your numbers in their emergency contact list. You saw Armin adding a smiley emoji after your name and when he saw you noticing, he blushed a little. “I do that to all my friends’ names,” he explained diffidently. “It makes me feel less awkward whenever I have to call them. Is it weird?”
You mirrored his smile. “I do the same thing. But instead of adding emojis, I just create nicknames for them.”
“Oh, then create one for me!” His cerulean eyes lit up beautifully. You were the same age as the boys, but Armin seemed five years younger.
Marco slung his arm around his shoulders, chiming in, “Me too, me too.”
“Sure.” You beamed. “Then Armin will be Bambi, ‘cause you’re literally a sweet, gentle baby deer in human form, I won’t even argue about it. And you,” you gestured toward the other boy, “You will be Freckles.”
Marco scrunched his nose cutely. “Why do I always get the most obvious, boring nickname out there?”
“Fine, then you’ll be Mini Santa.”
Not soon after, you proceeded to do your first job: bring them their coffees. When you asked about their orders, Armin and Marco simply answered with, “Iced Americano, please?” and “A mochaccino would be great, thank you.” They made their requests politely with a smile, genuinely thanking you for the inconvenience. You felt warmth spreading in your chest. They were angels.
But the other two boys. Now, they were the devils. No, they are the most atrocious, vile, infuriating little cacodemons who, somehow, managed to crawl their ways up from the deepest pit of hell. Eren Jaeger and Jean Kirstein. Honest to God, there had been no men—or women—in your life that had ever tested your patience this much over the course of thirty minutes.
Their looks were out-worldly, that was the initial thought that entered your mind when you saw them in person for the first time. You had always thought that they were handsome, but when you saw them in real life, they were ethereal. Eren had the greenest, prettiest eyes you had ever seen in a man. Not that you had seen a lot of men, but your point still stood. His dark brown hair looked so soft—probably softer than a baby’s ass, for the lack of a better metaphor—and his eyelashes were long, beautifully so. If it wasn’t because of his strong, masculine jawlines, his high cheekbones, and obviously, the thing hanging between his legs, he could’ve passed as a woman. He could’ve passed as a woman and could be prettier than you.
You remembered that his hair used to be long enough to cascade down to his shoulders, but his hair stylist recently did something new. They have trimmed his strands just a little so that the ends of his locks fall just a couple of inches below his jawlines. He still wore it in a bun, every now and then, as it was his iconic look. People even started calling it “The Jaeger'' when they went to the barbershop, hoping to copy his style but ended up looking like acorns in the end. None of them could sport a bun as hot as he did.
He was the Visual of The Group, their fans called him as if that was a real position. He was AXIS' lead dancer, talented enough for his skills to be praised by popular choreographers around the world. The company made him the center of attention, always dressing him in the sexiest, questionable outfits on stage—sometimes, even more revealing than what Beyonce would wear. One time, he wore a crop top with a leash wrapped around his neck and silver chains circling his waist and he broke the internet. His name trended on Twitter for three consecutive days with hundreds of thirst tweets popping up every hour. Now, with the new haircut and the simple, black hoodie he was wearing, he seemed more boyish than sexy, which was a nice, fresh change. There was no way you’d think someone who looked as sweet as Eren Jaeger would turn out to be incarnate of Lucifer himself.
Let’s move on to the other fiend: Jean Kirstein. He was tall. You’d never seen an asshole this gigantic in your twenty-one years of living. He was stunning, all of them were, but Jean reeked with so much masculinity, he was basically a walking version of Kouros by Yves Saint Laurent—the manliest fragrance out there, no doubt. He had a mullet, which you thought was a fashion disaster at first but this man… Damn. He rocked that hairstyle like Elvis Presley had rocked his. You could tell that he could grow a beard if he wanted to, but he shaved his stubbles every day to make him look younger on the screen (because if he had sported a beard, he'd probably look like Armin's dad and no one wanted to be mistaken dancing to sexy routines on the stage with their son).
Armin and Marco were the lead and main vocals of the group, while Jean was their leader. He was the one in charge during interviews and press conferences, but that was not all. What he was truly in charge of was being sexy. It felt dumb if you said it out loud as there was no such position, but he was. The company designed him to be that way. Eren seduced his audience with his sexy expressions—or his dangerous hip thrusts—on the stage, but he had never taken his shirt off for fanservice (as he was already barely wearing any, to begin with, but that was not the point). The point was, Jean did that every fucking time. If he was wearing a button-up shirt, he would rip it open by the end of the song. If he was wearing a normal shirt, he would still rip it open by the end of the song—maybe even from the start if he was having a good day. You read once on the internet that a thirteen-year-old girl brought her mother to see their concert, and she was dragged home by her ear as soon as Jean turned the show into his personal strip club. You weren’t even remotely surprised. You just hoped you were there to see it live.
Eren and Jean didn’t even bother to remember your name. When you introduced yourself, the brunette yawned, slouching on his swivel chair. Jean, who sat on his opposite, was busy smirking at his phone, probably looking at the nudes his groupies sent him. But it was okay. You didn’t think too much about it. You were shocked, sure, especially after the cordial treatment you had received from Armin and Marco, but you wouldn't hold a grudge against them.
“I’m heading to the coffee shop, do you guys need anything?” You asked them with a smile. Back then on your first day, you hadn’t known any better. You thought they were going to give their answers as simple as Armin and Marco did. So when Eren sank further into his chair, crossed his legs, and propped his cheek on his knuckles as he stared flatly at you, you didn’t think his answer would be, “An iced Ristretto, ten shot, venti, with breve, five pump vanilla, seven pump caramel, four Splenda, and poured, not shaken.”
You blinked your eyes, staring dumbly. “Sorry, what?”
He sighed, looking like giving out his order was the most exhausting job a man had ever had to do. “If you still need me to repeat this one more time, I’m gonna have to tell the manager to get me another assistant because you suck at your job.”
You staggered, swallowing thickly. “I’m sorry.”
“Eren,” Armin scolded him. You noticed that whenever Armin was upset, he looked like an angry toy poodle. “That’s not nice.” Eren returned his chastise with a groan, while the blonde-haired boy sent you an apologetic smile. “Sorry. Eren has severe mood swings in the morning. You’ll get used to it, I hope?”
“Or you can just quit,” Jean offered, giving you a once-over. “I mean, you’re pretty, but so do hundreds of other girls who would die to get this job. If you can’t even get our coffees right, then maybe you should walk away.” Without giving you a chance to debate his words, he rose from his chair. He walked closer, towering above you as he stood before you. Fuck, you thought, he does smell like Kouros by Yves Saint Laurent. Only ten times better. He trapped your chin between his thumb and index finger, angling your face upward as he raked his eyes over your features. “Unless,” he murmured, his lips curving up in a waggish grin, his eyes ricocheting to your lips. “There’s something else you’re good at?”
His breath fanned your skin, and you knew just how many of your friends would turn to puddles if they were in your shoes. But you were not one of them. No matter how attractive he was, or how good he smelled (like camphorous eucalyptus and tart bergamot, spreading out in cool waves on the skin, goddamn) you would never allow a man to talk to you like that.
You swatted his hand away, not too harshly—‘cause, unfortunately, your life literally depended on this job—but enough to leave him dumbfounded. “I’ll get them right,” you said through gritted teeth. “May I have your order, Mr. Kirstein?”
Jean loved it. He loved the fire in you. “Iced venti caramel macchiato,” he said, and you hurriedly rummaged through your bag, searching for your phone to type down his order. “Fifteen pumps of vanilla syrup, made with heavy whipping cream, barely any ice, one shot, add whip, and extra caramel drizzle.”
Your thumbs were running like wildfire on the screen, trying to keep up with him. There must have been something you missed but you knew if you asked him to reiterate his order, he would mock you non-stop about it. So, you didn’t.
You turned your head to Eren. “And you, Mr. Jaeger?”
Eren’s eyes were half-lidded, filled with boredom. “Venti vanilla latte, nonfat milk—”
“Wait, that doesn’t sound like what you ordered before. I thought you were ordering Ri… stretto…” Your voice faltered, noticing that he was this close at snapping at you again. “Right, sorry. It’s your drink, you can order whatever you want to—anyway, what was it again?”
You returned twenty-six minutes later carrying four tall cups of coffee in one hand, and a bag of sandwiches and blueberry muffins in the other. They didn’t ask for the food but you thought their show was going to start in an hour and you weren’t sure if they had breakfast yet (yes, despite your cheeky attitude, you did have a soft heart for these boys Armin and Marco). You hurriedly marched back into their waiting room, a thin layer of sweat coating your temple. “Okay, so one mochaccino for Bambi.” You handed Armin his cup with a smile, still somewhat breathless after all the running you did. “One iced americano for Freckles.”
“I thought it was Mini Santa.”
“Right. Mini Santa. Sorry.” You grinned, giving him his drink. Marco and Armin exchanged silent messages as they locked their stares, making you frown. “W-what is it? Did I do something wrong?”
They switched their drinks. “Nothing,” they both said and you smacked yourself on the forehead.
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry,” you grimaced. “You ordered the simplest thing and I still mixed up your names.”
But these boys just simply laughed it off. “Please, it’s just coffee,” Armin tittered, “And believe me, a lot of people got it wrong too. I think it’s partially because I look like this that they’d expect me to favor something sweeter.”
“And I look mature enough to not have a sweet tooth, but I do.” Marco patted your head like how a big brother would do. “Take it easy, shorty. No need to apologize.”
“Okay,” you breathed out in relief. “I swear, I’ll be better next time.” You focused back on the last two drinks. “All right. Venti vanilla latte, nonfat milk, whipped cream, seven Splendas; six mixed in, one sprinkled on top of the whipped cream—” You stopped to take a breath. “—to make it crunchy.” Just reading his order out loud almost left you wheezing. You didn’t want to remember the funny look the barista gave you when you described it to them. “For Mr. Eren Jaeger.” You offered him his cup with two hands, dramatically bowing your head as low as possible as you did it. “Here you go, My Lord.”
Armin giggled at your antic but Eren took his drink without a word, and unlike Marco who immediately took a sip of his coffee to show his gratitude, Eren left it abandoned on his desk, simply returning to his phone, yawning again.
You let out a harsh breath, reminding yourself to be patient. You read Jean’s order next, but before you could finish, you found him snickering at you. You stopped, almost throwing ice daggers at him with your eyes if you hadn't been careful. “Is there something funny, Mr. Kirstein?”
Jean stood up from the couch, placing his phone in the back pocket of his jeans as he made his way toward the door. When he walked past you, he laid a hand on your head, “I don’t drink coffee, Sweetheart. Might want to do some research before you take the job.” And he left.
You thought the Lord was testing you, but He hadn’t even begun.
The first month was absolute torment. You thought it was because you were still adjusting to your new work environment and their personalities, but no, you were certain that it was because Eren and Jean did not understand the difference between your office hours and your leave-me-the-fuck-alone time. Your working hours were inconsistent, fluctuating based on their schedule and that was okay as you had been informed from the start. But you were paid to assist them for only forty hours a week. And with the way it was going, that was not the case.
It was two in the fucking morning when your phone vibrated under your pillow. With bleary eyes and the biggest scowl your face had ever formed in your life, you checked on your screen. Devil Incarnate #2 was calling you.
“Hey, Sweetheart,” Jean’s gravelly voice echoed from the other line. He still hadn’t remembered your name, alternating to calling you with endearing terms—like Sweetheart or Darling—but always in a slightly degrading way. Sometimes, like right now, he did it flirtatiously, which felt kind of icky to you. But most of the time, he was just downright irritating. “I’m glad you picked up. Were you sleeping?”
“Oh, no, I was chatting with your mom. She’s awfully close with Eren, don’t you think? Might be a little too close, if you know what I mean.”
The smirk in his voice vanished almost instantly. “That’s not funny.”
“Please tell me this is not a booty call. I don't plan on castrating someone this early in the morning."
He chuckled. “There’s no need for that, I already have one sucking on my dick right now. Literally.” You could hear him turning away slightly from the phone, praising, “Yes, darling, you’re doing such a great job. Close your mouth around the tip for Daddy? Mmm, yeah, just like that.” He returned to his phone. “You’re still there?”
“Only physically.” If you weren’t too tired, you would’ve made a thorough plan on how to dump his dead body in the sewer. “Why are you calling again?”
“I need you to run to the store and grab me some condoms.”
“You gotta be fucking kidding me, Jean.”
“Is that the way to speak to your employer?”
“Oh, I’m sorry. You gotta be fucking kidding me, Mr. Kirstein.”
“Yeah, ah, that’s more like it,” he moaned. You frowned, vomit rising to your throat when Jean quickly added, “I wasn’t talking to you.”
“Oh, thank God. Never been so scared in my life before.”
“I don’t even know if you’re amusing or annoying.”
“Well, I do have my charm.”
You could imagine him rolling his eyes. “Anyway, I’m gonna need two condoms. No, three. Actually, four, you can’t be too careful. You know what, why don’t you just grab me a dozen of those. Oh, also, try different flavors too. They dig it.”
“They?”
“Yeah, I got another one coming over in about ten min—Hey, there you are! You’re early. Wait, baby girl, Daddy’s on the phone. Why don’t you get yourself all ready and wet for me, yeah?” The seduction and thrill in his voice returned to his previous grumble when he spoke to you. “You’re still there?”
“Honestly, I don’t know if I am. Feel like my soul just left my body.”
“You can do that after you get my condoms. You know which one to buy, right?”
“Glyde Slimfit? Tiny condom for tiny dick?”
“For your boyfriend, maybe,” he sneered. “No, darling. Durex XXL.”
“Bullshit.” You snorted loudly. “What are you, a horse? There’s no way you have a cock that huge.”
“Would you like to see for yourself, Sweetheart?”
“Jesus—” You ended the call, so tempted at throwing your phone against the wall but you remembered that you were broke. The digital clock on your nightstand showed it was 02.24 am, and the building they were staying in was fifteen minutes drive away from your apartment, but that was not the problem. How did the line, “And just, you know, do what they ask you to do,” turn into you, a single girl who hadn’t had sex in such a long time, running to Seven Eleven to buy a dozen of extra-large condoms at two in the morning?
So that was Devil Incarnate number 2. Let’s go to Devil Incarnate number 1.
Within the first week of working, you soon realized that Eren liked to call you with the most random nicknames he could come up with, and it’d always differ from time to time. If he had something sweet during breakfast, he’d call you Pancake or Muffin. If he had seen a bird flying near his window that day, he’d call you Tweety. He’d called you Fluffy during your fifth day of work, and you thought he was referring to your hair—you did style it that way that day. But when you asked him about it, he just scoffed and said, “No. I just thought you look like my dog. Her name’s Fluffy.”
“Oh, so you own a Shih Tzu?”
“No. A pug.”
Armin wasn’t kidding when he told you Eren had severe mood swings. He could be cold and bitter in the morning, and all bright and smiley by lunch. But happy Eren did not always mean pleasant-to-be-around Eren, you learned. When he was stressed out, he'd always turn into his broody-vampire mode, just basically seething and glaring at everyone around him. You literally could just breathe a little louder than usual and he would tell you to shut the fuck up, people in China could hear you. But as Armin said, you had to get used to it and you did. You had the patience of a saint, it turned out. What you couldn’t get used to was when he was happy.
Because happy Eren meant flirty Eren and flirty Eren meant danger.
It wasn’t like you were attracted to bad boys—or what’s the term people use these days? Fuck boys? Anyway, no, you were twenty-one years old. You were a mature woman. You weren’t looking for a boyfriend; you wanted to find someone you could settle down with. But when Eren showed up out of nowhere, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind and landing his chin on your shoulder as he whispered, “Hey, Muffin,” right next to your fucking ear, what the hell were you supposed to do?
Not blushing, that was for sure. “Please don’t touch me, ” you uttered, keeping your voice—and your everything else—composed.
This wasn’t the first time he flirted with you but it was the first time he touched you. A month had passed and he had never even shaken your hand once—not even during your first meeting. And then here he was, embracing you from behind like a boyfriend you hadn’t had for months. You couldn’t deny the way your heart was racing, but at least you kept your face controlled.
“Hmm…” He purred. His husky voice was so pleasing to hear, not that you would admit it out loud. “Why not?”
“Because we’re in public and this is highly inappropriate.” Saying the word public might be an exaggeration as there were only two of you in the dressing room at the moment. The door was open, though, so if anyone was passing the hallway, they would notice. The other boys had left to wait near the backstage, doing a final check on their microphones before the show started.
“So, you’re saying it’s okay to do this,” he hugged you just a little bit tighter. “If we were alone?”
“Keep your hands off me or I swear to God, I’ll punch your pretty face.”
“Ah, so you think I’m pretty. Why am I not surprised?”
You really did throw a punch. He was just fast enough to dodge it. Eren giggled, breaking away from you. At this point, he was well-adjusted to the snarkiness in your attitude, or your little—but deadly—punches. He moved to lean his back against the wall, observing you with natural temptation in his eyes, hands buried in the pocket of his pants. He was dressed handsomely in his stage outfit. They were doing a James Bond concept for their new comeback single, so he no longer had to wear revealing clothes on the stage at least for a month from now. But somehow, the sight of him wearing a three-piece black suit and matching leather gloves, made you feel even more… arou—
Okay, let’s not go there, you mentally slapped yourself. “Why aren’t you backstage?”
“I was but then I noticed you weren’t there. So, I came here to check on you.” He tilted up his chin, smirking. “Wouldn’t want my favorite assistant to get hurt. Or seduced by another man.”
“Hmm, how very chivalrous of you,” you muttered blankly, keeping yourself busy with your phone. It wasn't just a way to avoid him, though. You had to learn their schedules for the rest of the week to avoid making mistakes. “Well, Mr. Jaeger, I can assure you that no one in this building would find me attractive so you can run along and return to the stage now. You need to perform in twenty minutes.” You sighed wearily when you realized that you hadn’t picked up their outfits for tomorrow’s photoshoot. “I need to make a call.” You made your way to the door, about to exit the room when Eren clamped his fingers around your wrist, stopping you.
“I think you’re wrong,” he said.
“Excuse me?”
“When you said no man would find you attractive, I think you’re wrong.” His lips twitched up in a delicate smile, and he seemed so innocent, like a little boy facing his first crush. “I think you’re smart. You’re adorably annoying and annoyingly adorable at the same time.” When he chuckled, it sounded sheepish. His hand slid down from your wrist to your fingers, gently playing with them with his own. He watched the way they brushed, his face was unguarded. “And I think you’re beautiful.” He looked up at you from behind his bangs. “Especially your eyes, they’re… They’re breathtaking.”
You swallowed. Okay, what the fuck is going on? “That is the most cliche pick-up line I’ve ever heard.”
He tipped his head cutely to the side. “I was just being honest, though?”
Your eyes glanced briefly at the part where your skin touched his. You had become way more conscious of it than you were supposed to. You exhaled heavily. “What did I say about keeping your hands away from me?”
“Listen, I want to apologize,” he voiced, sounding unfamiliarly solemn. “For the way I’ve been behaving these last few weeks. I’ve been… I haven’t been in a very good mood lately.”
“Yeah.” You noticed how he still hadn’t let you go, but you let him be. “You've got the emotional range of a pregnant woman. No offense to any preggos out there.”
He laughed quietly, slowly releasing his hold from you. He seemed… pensive. Uncertain. Distraught. “Is something the matter?” You asked, unconsciously rubbing your skin right at the part where he touched you before.
Eren didn’t reply right away, contemplating his answers. “Do you want to, um…” He rubbed his nape, not meeting your gaze. “I don’t know, like, go somewhere together tonight? We can go get some coffee or something.”
“And I have to stand right next to you as you make the world’s most vexing order at Starbucks? No, thanks.”
“Hey, come on.” He pouted, batting his eyelashes at you. Eren took a step forward and you moved back in response, stopping only when you had your backside pressed against the wall. “I’m trying to make it up to you here,” he said, taking another stride until his body was standing only an arms reach away from you. “Can you at least give me a chance?” He was going with that so-called puppy look. You knew its power and you would not let yourself succumb to it.
You averted your gaze. “Actually, now that I thought about it,” you replied, “It would’ve been less embarrassing to stand next to you as you tell them your order compared to having me tell them your order.”
He grinned, his crooked teeth showing. “So, is that a yes?”
“No.” You snorted, but who were you kidding? “I mean, yes. Whatever. I’ll swing by your building at seven. I have to give you your outfits for tomorrow anyway.”
“Perfect.” He leaned in and pecked your cheek before you could even register his actions. “I’ll see you at seven, Muffin.”
When he left, taking hasty steps as he headed toward backstage, you found yourself staring at his back. He tossed you a look over his shoulder, grinning when he realized you were staring and you felt your cheeks burn.
Fuck.
***
Okay, so remember when Eren asked you to “get some coffees” to “make it up to you” six hours ago? That was bullshit.
“I think we’re cool,” he told you, sitting right next to you in the car, checking on his surroundings using the rearview mirror. He wore his hair down, wearing all black from head to toe in an attempt to not stick out like a sore thumb. “Seems like we’re not being followed.”
You were perched on your driver’s seat, hands on the steering wheel, feeling absolutely humiliated. “Jaeger.”
“Yeah, Bunny?”
“Bunny?”
“What, it’s the year of the rabbit.”
You punched him hard on the shoulder. Once, twice, three times until he groaned and caught your fist with one hand. “Hey, easy on the hands there. I’m not a punching bag!”
“You’re a trash bag, that’s what you are!” You beat him again with your other hand, right on his chest. “I can’t believe you tricked me into driving you to a bar so you can just hook up with some chick!”
“Bunny,” he chortled, seemingly having the time of his life, that asshole. “You didn’t think I was actually asking you on a date, did you?”
Yeah, okay, that sounds fair. It was all your fault. See, this? This is the power of his puppy eyes. “You’re a dick.”
“A dick who’s about to dick a pretty chick.” He had the audacity to throw a wink at you. “I won’t be long, I promise. I’m not that evil.”
You scoffed loudly. “Yeah, sure.”
“No, I promise.” He landed a kiss on your knuckles before he released your hand. “I’ll behave tonight. For you.” You didn’t want to say it felt like your heart just skip a beat because you’d rather die than admit it, but yes, it certainly felt that way.
“Oh, shut up, Jaeger, you’re about to sleep with a girl on my watch. This thing you’re doing—this—” You gesticulated. “That smirk, those puppy eyes, and that little kiss you just did on my hand—none of them worked on me, okay? None.”
"Yeah, sure." He imitated your earlier response, only flirtatiously.
“Step out of my car. I’m leaving.”
“You can’t leave.”
“Yes, I can. It's my car.”
“And what do you think the press is going to say when they find Eren Jaeger, the handsome lead dancer of AXIS, leaving a questionable pub at one in the morning, taking a cab alone?”
You stared back, blatantly judging him. “Did you seriously just call yourself handsome?”
“Am I wrong?”
Lord— “Fine. I’ll give you ten minutes.”
“Thirty.”
“Fifteen.”
“Forty-five.”
“Why are you increasing your—that is not how bargaining works!”
“Give me forty-five minutes and I’ll make a minute-long special video for your birthday,” he offered, followed shortly by that godforsaken smirk. “Think about it. You’ll get Eren Jaeger of AXIS congratulating you on your birthday. Think about the power you’re going to have over your friends.”
You bit the inside of your cheeks, couldn't help but feel tempted. “You’re literally Lucifer.”
“Lucifer as in that DILF from the TV show Lucifer? Why, thank you.”
“Oh my God, just get out!” You shoved him away harshly by the shoulders. Cackling, Eren wore his black baseball cap and his mask, stepping out of your car with his hands sticking inside the pockets of his jacket. “Thirty minutes, Jaeger!”
“See you in fifty, Bunny.”
***
You waited for a whole. damn. hour.
Funny how despite all of that bargaining you did, you still waited for him inside your car at two in the morning, parked on the side of the road in front of a sleazy bar called Swanky Bubbles. But you know what was funnier? The fact that you had to barge in inside this sleazy bar (which literally smelled like sex, smoke, and—oh my God, is that a used condom on the table?!), wearing your favorite red dress and slingback heels (you still couldn’t believe you thought you were going on a romantic date with this fleabag. Have you been single for so long that you became that desperate?), and went to the men’s bathroom (because if he was going to fuck a girl, that would be the spot, right? Not that you’d ever done it or anything) only to find out:
“Ah, fuck, look at that dripping fucking cunt, you naughty little—”
Eren stopped mid-sentence, his green eyes were almost black when they met yours in the mirror. As expected, he was getting his dick wet. What you weren’t really expecting was the way he was fucking his girl from behind, her hands gripping tightly against the edge of the sink as she watched the way he thrust deep inside her through the mirror. Eren had his jeans hanging low on his hips, his belt unbuckled. His black shirt was pushed up, revealing a glimpse of six-pack abs—probably eight, how would you know, you never counted. You spotted his handprints on the girl’s ass, leaving angry red bruises on her milky skin. You could tell that he had been rough with her, which caused your thoughts to wander.
They both froze, the blonde girl’s face caught fire while Eren simply grinned. “Hey, Bunny,” he crooned. “Sorry, the bathroom’s occupied. I hope you’re not on the verge of doing number two.”
The fact that he could still run his mouth was beyond you. “Disappointed,” you told him, crossing your arms in front of your chest as you leaned against the doorframe. “But not surprised.”
The girl he was with tried to break away, but Eren took a hold of her wrist and pinned it behind her back. “Now, now, baby, I’m not finished with you yet,” he chuckled, his posture dominating. His voice was a mix between a sultry whisper and a growl. It was kind of… Hot.
Okay, you did not just think that.
Returning his gaze to the mirror, he smirked at you. “As you can see, I’m a little bit busy right now so I'd appreciate it if you just walk away. Unless you want to join us?”
“I gave you thirty minutes, Jaeger.”
“Aww, I thought we’d agreed that you’d wait for fifty.”
“IT’S ALREADY AN HOUR!” Great, now you were screaming at him. You needed to schedule a date with your therapist after this.
Eren sighed. “Look, as much as I enjoy being watched as I fuck, I can’t cum with you yapping your mouth. So, why don't you be a good girl and wait in the car, yeah? I’ll be with you in ten minutes.”
“Five.”
“Fifteen.”
You couldn’t. You literally couldn’t handle him. Your head would explode.
You went back into your car and you waited. You made a mental note to erase your browsing history after this because, in the last fifteen minutes, all you had been doing was searching how to sneak into a top-security apartment to strangle a fucking brat in his sleep.
When Eren stepped out of the car, his face was full of bliss. You turned the engine but he didn’t climb inside right away. Instead, he placed both palms on the hood of your car, smirking at you from underneath his cap.
“So, Bunny, about that coffee—”
You tried to run him over.
***
“Hey, can you put some music on?” Jean said, sitting on the second row of the van, right next to Eren who was sleeping soundly with his arms folded on his chest, his chin tucked. “It’s too quiet here.”
You were driving them to a five-star hotel for their next photoshoot. Armin and Marco had different schedules for the day so they took a different route, leaving you to your own devices along with these two demons who apparently found it impossible to even give you a minute of peace to yourself. Well, at least Devil Incarnate #1 was asleep. Hopefully, forever.
“Go to sleep, Jean. We still have an hour to go.”
“You want me to nag about it for an hour? Because I’ll do it.”
You took a deep breath. “Your mother never loved you, did she?”
“Why, are you trying to make it up by loving me harder than you already are?”
“Fuck you.”
“Now, you know I won’t say no to that, but—” He sighed dramatically. “All you women just keep taking advantage of me and my body. Am I really too pretty for the world?”
Yeah, he was right. Better put on some music before I lose your mind. “There.” You told him, switching on the radio and listening to whatever the DJ was playing. “Now shut up and let me drive.”
“I want to hear Nicki Minaj.”
“Well, I want to hear silence, but we can’t always get what we want now, can we?”
“I have her whole album on my phone. Turn on the Bluetooth.”
“Jean, I’m fucking driving.”
“And not really good at it. Turn it on.”
“Lord—” Trying to keep your attention on the road, you reached out your hand blindly to swipe your fingers on the screen, switching on the Bluetooth. Jean chuckled to himself, mirroring his phone to the screen. You could see his wallpaper. It was a naked picture of a girl. “Dude, what the hell?”
“Keep your eyes on the road, Sweetheart.”
Wait, now that you looked at it, it was a photo of the same person—a beautiful, Asian girl with a little scar on her right cheek—that you caught sucking on his dick before his concert a week ago. “You're still going out with Miss Sloppy? That's new.”
“Yeah, we’ve been going strong these days.” He went through his playlist, running his eyes from one track through another.
“And using her naked boobs as your wallpaper is a token of your appreciation, I suppose?”
“In the highest form.”
"You should've just given her flowers."
He snorted. "No one wants flowers these days, darling."
"I do," you told him and he spared you a glance. "Call me old school, but I think the traditional way of showing your love through flowers, or poems, or love songs—I think that's romantic." Jean simply remained silent, which made you feel uncomfortable since it felt like you just shared something personal you rarely shared with anyone else before.
The song played and you wished Jean would sing along to it so you didn't have to endure the silence—which was ironic considering how much you yearned for it a few minutes ago—but he didn’t. He didn’t even say a word when the song ended and another track played. Frowning, you took a glance of him through the rear-view mirror. You could see how Jean was leaning his back against his seat, his face turning toward the window. He was in a ruminative mood, which was the first time you had ever seen him in. His eyes had lost their usual puckish glow, growing vacant.
You called out his name, your voice unusually soothing that you were surprised with yourself. “You can take a nap if you want to. I’ll wake you up when we get there.”
“I’m not sleepy.”
“I think it’s best to catch some rest.”
“Stop sounding like my mother,” he said, a little bit firmer than usual. Unlike Eren, Jean rarely snapped at you. His voice, though rough, was always melodious when he talked to you, as if he was flirting, even though you knew it was just his way to irk you up. He sounded a bit tense now, maybe even upset.
You paused, giving into silence and he noticed the tension that stretched in the air. Releasing a heavy breath, he ran a hand through his hair. “Sorry,” he said, keeping his eyes on the scenery outside his window. “I just…” He never finished.
There hadn’t been enough chances for you and Jean to know each other better. It wasn’t like you didn’t want to. You just thought it would make things awkward to suddenly converse about personal matters, especially when the only interaction you two had was him making fun of you on a daily basis. But seeing him looking so unsettled like this didn’t feel right. He seemed like he could use a friend.
“Are you okay?” You asked him.
Jean knitted his eyebrows together. “What?”
“I’m asking you how you’re feeling.”
“Uh... Why?”
“Because you look like you’re about to cry and I don’t feel like having a grown-ass man crying in the backseat.” You rolled your eyes, but when your gazes met in the mirror, you could see him smiling a little to himself. You did the same, even grinning. “Look, I know we’ve been treating each other like shit—well,” you corrected yourself. “You treated me like shit. I was just trying to respond to you being a giant ass by—”
“You’re not very good at this, are you?” He simpered. “Comforting other people?”
“Yeah," you chuckled awkwardly. "I don’t have that many friends.”
“Hmm, figured.” But his posture was more relaxed with no venom in his voice. “Well, at least you tried. It’s been a while since I heard someone asking me that question.”
You stole peeks at him through the mirror as you drove. There it was again. That weary, dispirited look on his face. “Is it hard being the leader? Or an idol in general?”
“Sometimes." He shrugged. "I mean, with more popularity coming your way, you’re bound to have your freedom taken away from you too. It's funny, isn't it? How you can have a thousand people cheering your name but at the same time, you feel like no one understands you. Feel like no one really cares about you. They just like the persona you show them on the stage. They don't give a fuck if you're an empty shell inside. And it makes you feel like you're…” He dawdled, unsure of what to say.
“Like you’re alone,” you finished for him. Jean blinked, his eyes drifting toward the mirror and you smiled softly at him when you locked gazes.
“Yeah,” he exhaled, long and heavy. Admitting it out loud felt like he had half the weight off his chest. “Like you’re alone.”
You were chewing on the inside of your cheek, swerving your car to the right. “Do you miss your mother?”
Jean was unfamiliar with the gentleness in your tone, but he liked it. “I do.”
“When was the last time you saw her? In person, I mean.”
“Three years ago.”
You almost hit the brakes a little too hard than intended. “Wow…” As you waited for the red light to turn green, you kept your gaze fixated on the mirror, examining his every expression. “Well, that sucks.”
He laughed dryly. “Yeah.”
“Is it because of your tight schedules?”
“Partially, yeah. But it was more because…” He clicked on his tongue. “She just didn’t want me to be in show business. She felt like I could’ve done so much better than just taking off my shirt on stage like a fucking stripper.” But there was no anger in his voice, only… disappointment, directed toward no one else but himself.
And you understood. Jean—the leader of AXIS who was always drenched in confidence whenever he took the stage—was insecure about his talent. In some ways, he felt like his body was all that was worthy of him. “Can I tell you a secret?” You asked him and he lifted his face. There was a slight curiosity buried underneath the dismal look in his eyes. Right before the light turned green, you tossed him a smile. “Eren is my bias in AXIS.”
He must have expected some heartwarming words to escape your mouth because he was visibly upset once your sentence rang through his ears. “Ah, yeah," he responded emotionlessly. "Not sure how that's supposed to make me feel better but good to know.”
"Who says I'm trying to make you feel better?"
He scrunched up his nose and you beamed back mischievously.
“Kidding. I’m not finished yet." You tried to ease the tension with a peal of airy laughter. “Well, to be fair, I don’t think I can call myself a fan because now I know how evil you guys are in real life,” Jean grunted at that. “But back when I didn’t know any better, I listened to your songs almost every day. I downloaded them illegally, true, but if I had the money, I would've bought your albums because you guys were that good. And I used my campus' free wi-fi to watch your performances every time I got the chance."
"Just how broke are you exactly?"
"Let's not talk about that." Jean's mood seemed to lighten at the way you retold your story. "I think I've watched you guys more times than I’d like to admit. You know how fangirls are.”
“Did you touch yourself while watching our fancams?” He sniggered.
“Congratulations, you just ruined our first heart-to-heart moment.” The glower you sent him was quickly reciprocated with a wink. “Anyway, as I said, Eren was my bias. I just thought he always looked amazing on stage. I still think so. No matter how big of an asshole he is, I’ve never seen someone having that much talent and passion when it comes to dancing. His expression, the way his body moves—it’s like he was born to dance, you know?”
“Thanks.”
You froze, eyes shooting upright to the mirror. Eren, who just thanked you with his voice heavy with sleep, turned to lay on his side. “I’m going back to sleep but don’t let that stop you from fangirling over me,” he mumbled and it took literally everything in your body to stop the blood from pooling in your face. You were about to say something smart—hopefully—when his soft snores echoed to your ears again.
This is so bad for my heart. “Anyway, umm—” You cleared your throat, trying to return your focus to Jean. “W-where was I?”
“Eren is your bias.”
Fuck. “Was,” you immediately corrected, ignoring the flames that bit your cheeks. “Was my bias, but that’s beside the point. What I’m trying to say is that you, Jean, you were my bias wrecker.”
"The hell is a bias wrecker?"
"Someone who unexpectedly caught my attention and made me rethink my original bias."
It was then that his eyes lit up in surprise. “I... I was?”
“Yeah.” You didn't want to use the word cute to describe him but Jean was exactly that at the moment. “There were a lot of times when I saw your performances and I found myself looking at you the entire video. Hell, I think I even spent a good hour watching your fancams back in the days. Can you imagine? Me, actually looking for your videos on Youtube. Crazy, right?”
“No shit. Seriously?” He was almost like a child, the way he was so enthusiastic about it.
“Yeah. There’s something in the way you perform. Honestly, I didn’t even care if you took off your shirt or not. I even wondered why you had to do that so often. Like I get that you’re hot, but you are so much more than just your looks and your body, you know? I feel like even if you were dressed as a school teacher, people would've still found you captivating. At least, I would. Eren has all the moves but your charisma is on another level. You can literally just stand on the stage, and all eyes would turn to you. And if that’s not talent, then I don’t know what that is.”
Jean’s cheeks reddened in a beautiful shade of crimson. You caught a glimpse of it before he averted his gaze, awkwardly scratching his cheek with his index finger. It made you feel happy and sad at the same time. It seemed like there really hadn’t been a lot of people appreciating him for his talent.
Smiling, you kept yourself muted, letting him take a moment for the words to sink in. It was then that Eren groaned.
“Ugh, gross,” he said sluggishly. “Go back to talking about me again.”
Five seconds later, he went back to sleep.
“Is he always like that?” You asked Jean, your heart palpitating.
“Yeah. Annoying, isn’t he?”
“Not as much as you are.” But you shared smiles with him, his gaze softening when he met yours. Even without him forming the words, you could detect a sense of gratitude radiating from him. You were just as grateful. It made you feel content that you understood him a little better now. Maybe, by the end of this job, you two could actually become friends.
“Hey,” Jean called.
“Yeah?”
“Do you want to, uhh…” His voice wavered. You could see how his face changed from musing to frowning, to blushing before he finally gave up and said, “Never mind.”
“What?”
“I said, never mind.”
“What, you want us to grab some coffee together? Like on a date?”
He choked, ears turning pink. “N-no.”
He can’t lie to save his life, you thought in amusement. “Okay, Mr. Kirstein, whatever you say.”
Now that the atmosphere was not as heavy, you started listening to the song he was playing on speakers. That was when you noticed something.
“Bitch, this is Cardi B.”
“Aren’t they the same person?”
***
“Here you go, milady.” Armin handed you a bottle of iced strawberry milkshake; his smile was just as sweet and refreshing. With a white towel hanging around his shoulders, he took a seat on the hardwood flooring right next to you. His forehead was glistening with sweat, his shirt was also soaked with it. But the fact that this man still somehow smelled like Johnson’s baby powder was beyond you.
You were sitting cross-legged with your back leaning against the wall, waiting for the boys to finish their dance practice before you had to drive them back to their building. It was ten pm, your body was just as exhausted as theirs were, even when you hadn’t been dancing to the same track for two hours straight. But it was okay. Tomorrow was your day off. You just needed to grab some takeouts for the boys, drop them back to their flat, and then you could spend the rest of your day lounging in your bathtub with a glass of wine in hand, probably listening to Michael Bublé's Christmas album. This, of course, only happened in your imagination as you were so broke you couldn’t even afford a water heater, but a girl could dream, right?
“Well,” you sighed, thanking Armin for the drink. “I’ve only been thinking about murdering your teammates fourteen times this week. So that’s an improvement, I guess.”
“So, like, twice a day?”
“Yeah.”
“And it went down from…?”
“About one hundred and thirty-six times a day.”
“Yikes.” He chuckled, sipping on his sports drink.
Marco was absent from practice that day. He went with your aunt to do a radio interview to promote the new TV show he was in. It was his first acting gig and it was so cute the way he was so thrilled about it.
Jean was still caught up on another photoshoot. He was going to be on the cover of Men’s Health magazine, which would be out sometime early next month. And yes, you indeed told him that you didn’t care whether he was shirtless or not but that was a lie, wasn’t it? Of course, you cared. It would be stupid—and abnormal—not to.
Eren was still practicing the latest choreography, scrutinizing himself in the mirror as he followed his instructor’s steps, imitating his posture and movement. “He always works so hard,” Armin said, admiring him with a little smile of affection. “People always praise his talent, but it’s very rare to see them appreciating the blood and sweat he shed to get to this point. I’ve been friends with him since we were kids. He always worked himself to the limit. I often found him dancing alone in the studio till morning.” His sapphire eyes drooped in concern. “I feel bad that he has to learn much more complicated routines compared to the rest of us. I mean, he is our lead dancer so he has his solo stage, dance break, and everything but… I just feel like our company is working him too hard.”
You followed Armin’s gaze, landing your eyes on the shape of Eren’s biceps that somehow rippled every time he moved his arms. He was wearing a sleeveless white shirt and a pair of black track pants, his high-top sneakers creating squeaky sounds as they rubbed against the floor. The shirt was glued to his skin, the shape of his chiseled abdomen showing underneath the fabric. Eren took off his cap, running his fingers through his hair—his soft, soft hair that still looked fluffy even though his bangs were drenched with sweat—before he placed it back on. ���The hell he’s so hot for,” you mumbled.
“What?”
“Nothing.” You cleared your throat, loosening your collar. “I mean, yeah. I agree with you. Actually, I just wish the company will give you guys a break. All of you deserve it.” Armin thanked you with his eyes and that reminded you. “Oh, right, I haven’t gotten the chance to say thank you for the cheesecake you sent me. How did you know that green tea is my favorite flavor?”
“Huh?” He blinked, frowning in confusion before— “Oh! Oh yeah, right. Cheesecake. How could I forget about that?” He slapped himself on the forehead. “Yeah, that was, um—that was from me.”
You squinted your eyes at him. “If little Prince Arlert is lying to me, I don't know who else to believe.”
“Wha—I don’t—” He was sweating for an entirely different reason. When he gave up, he almost curled himself up in a ball. “Yeah, it wasn’t from me. I’m sorry, I lied.”
“Was it from Marco?”
“Uh…” His eyes were shaking. “Umm, yeah, sure.”
“Did you just lie to me again?”
He shuddered. “It wasn’t from Marco.”
Great, you were running out of options. Surely, it wasn’t from Devil Incarnate #1 and #2 seeing how they couldn’t even find the time to buy their own condoms. “Was it from my aunt? Seems very unlikely.”
“No. It was, uhh…” Armin darted his eyes away from yours, mumbling under his breath. He seemed to be in agony when he finally confessed with a grimace, “It was from Eren.”
“What?!” You shrieked, and he was so frightened, he almost jumped out of his skin. There was a reason why you called him Bambi. “Devil Incarnate number one?!”
“I’m legally not allowed to say,” he winced. “But, yeah, Devil Incarnate number one.”
“Why would—” you gasped, eyes widening in horror. “Oh, shit, what if it was poisonous? I just finished the whole cake this morning. What if it’s gonna give me explosive diarrhea or something—oh my God—”
At that point, Armin began to laugh. “Why is it so hard for you to believe that he’s just trying to apologize to you for acting like a douchebag?”
“Because—” You were speechless. After what Eren had done to you, there was no way he would suddenly be so kind and send you presents without any ulterior motive behind it. “Because… I don’t know, it’s just… It feels weird.”
“It feels weird that he’s nice?”
“Eren and the word nice do not belong together. Try to use the words narcissistic bitch, then I’ll agree with you.”
You were Armin's favorite entertainment. Almost everything you did and said never failed to paint a smile on his face. “Yeah, can’t argue with that.”
“But you were the one who told him about my favorite flavor, right?”
“Nope. I honestly thought strawberry was your favorite flavor.” He gestured toward the bottle in your hand. “Hence, the drink.”
“Oh…” You held the bottle close to your chest, grinning at him. “Well, this is my second favorite flavor.”
“Sure.” He bumped his shoulder playfully against yours and you did the same. Whenever you were with Armin, it felt like you were two best friends from high school watching a football game from the bleachers. "Wait, the red roses from last week," you recalled, your forehead creasing again. "Those weren't from the company, were they?"
He chuckled once. "Why did you think they were from the company?"
"I don't know, I just thought they were thanking me for working hard, that's all."
"You're cute."
"Hey, I worked my ass off for you guys."
Armin raised both hands in the air. "Never said you didn't."
You lightly punched him on the chest. "I can't believe Eren sent me flowers."
"Um, no, those were from Jean, actually."
Your heart, once again, dropped to your stomach. "What?!"
“Which I'm also legally not allowed to say!" Armin stood up in a hurry. "I gotta go practice some more. Talk to you later.” He left before you could snatch his hand to keep him in place, half-running to his previous spot.
“Armin, get back here!”
Clasping both hands to his ears, he shouted back with, “La la la, I can't hear you!”
***
Eren was in the middle of swallowing big gulps of mineral water when you tapped his shoulder. “Eren—”
“Jesus Christ—” Startled enough to have his heart in his throat, he pivoted on his heels and accidentally bumped his back against the vending machine. He gripped onto his plastic bottle too hard, spilling water all over the floor. “You scared me!” He exclaimed with one hand clutching onto his chest, his breathing labored. “Can’t you just show up like a normal person?”
“Oh, I’m sorry, didn’t mean to scare your panties off, Princess.” You fake an accent, trying to make yourself sound even more obnoxious to his ears. “Shall I write a note for you next time? Give you a friendly warning before I normally walk up to you and normally call out your name like a normal person?”
He exhaled sharply. “You and your sarcasm.”
“You and your—” stupid, stupid washboard abs, “—ugly hair.”
And just like that, his mouth curved up in a smirk. “We both know that’s not true, Muffin.”
“Whatever.” You tilted up your chin, crossing your arms on your chest. “So, when are you planning to tell me that you sent me a cake yesterday?”
He raised his bottle to his lips, ready to take a sip. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Armin told me.”
He choked, spilling water to his shirt. “Damn it, Armin!” Eren hissed under his breath. With his usual scowl returning to his face, he tried to look unperturbed, even when his nostrils were flaring. “Well, you weren’t supposed to find out about that.”
“What was the point in giving me a cake if you didn't want me to know about it?”
“It’s just…” He dragged his gaze away, mumbling in a subdued tone, “It just makes me feel less guilty about it.”
“Speak louder, Jaeger. Who are you talking to—an ant?”
You were clearly testing on his patience and you loved it. He repeated his words, loud enough to be considered as a shout.
“Ah, okay.” You nodded, playing nonchalantly as usual. “I don’t know if this ever occurs to you, but saying the words I’m sorry would’ve been so much easier to do. And, it won’t cost you anything. Well, your dignity, probably, but you’ll get to keep your wallet.”
Eren flatly stared back. "The last time I apologized to you, you mocked me by saying I had the emotional range of a teaspoon."
"A pregnant woman," you corrected. "Oh yeah, right, you did that. Which was bullshit because then you asked me to come with you to a shady bar where I had to freeze my ass outside, waiting for some girl to finish giving you a sloppy toppy."
"Oh, stop being so dramatic. It's summer. It was literally like forty degrees outside." When you opened your mouth to protest, Eren raised a finger in the air to stop you. You, of course, tried to bite it off. "Look, either way, I didn't want to apologize to you directly so I thought I could just send you a cake."
"But you sent it anonymously." You exaggerated a nod, mouth turning upside-down. "All right. No logic can be found there, but okay, man, whatever keeps you sleeping at night, I guess."
"Jesus—" The more he grew frustrated talking to you, the bigger the joy that swelled inside your chest. His jawlines and cheekbones were too sharp and masculine for him to be sporting a pout, but he still nailed it. "I did what I did because I know you’ll just make fun of me for it.”
True, that is true. “I wouldn’t make fun of you.”
He searched your eyes, his jaw clenching as he contemplated. He was sure that you’d laugh at him but after what he did to you at the bar, he knew that he owed you a proper apology. Fuming and abashed, he threw his hands in the air. “Fine, you want to hear me say it? I’m sorry. There, satisfied?”
There was a moment where you tried to be a better person and keep the promise you made him. But then again, you weren’t that kind of girl so what did you do? You cackled.
“See!” He complained, almost whining, with the tips of his ears matching the shade of your lipstick. “You fucking laughed at me!”
“Sorry, it’s just—” You were tearing up, literally. Swiping a thumb over your lid, you tried to tone down your maniacal laughter into a grin. “God, you can be so adorable sometimes.”
And the line shocked you just as much as it shocked him. Adorable? You went with the word adorable? Out of all the things you could have said? This was Devil Incarnate #1 you were talking about. Adorable was for babies, or puppies—or Armin. Adorable was literally the last word you could use to describe him.
“I mean, you’re annoying as hell,” you quickly added. “But, yeah, adorable.” No need to clarify, you idiot, I think he got that the first time.
And there he was, standing before you with unblinking eyes. You wondered if you broke him—maybe he was a robot designed to piss off humanity, with a self-destruct option activated by the word adorable. You certainly hoped so, as that would give you a reason not to see his face ever again.
But then the robot spoke and the second he did, your fist wanted to make contact with his face again. It was just a natural reaction at this point. “So,” he crossed his arms, leaning one shoulder against the vending machine, showcasing that goddamn smirk as if he wasn't just blushing like a schoolgirl. “Is that the reason why I’m your bias?”
“Was my bias,” you rectified through clenched jaws. “And no, we’re not talking about this.” His grin almost reached his ears now. “Bring up this topic again and I will try to run you over with my car, I swear to God, I will.”
His smile slipped. “You did.”
“Yeah, well, just like that, but harder.”
He sighed, looking so weary, he had to rub his temple with his fingers. “So, did you like it?”
“Running you over with my car? Loved it.”
“I meant the cake.”
“Oh.” You giggled, mocking the way his nose flared in anger. “I’ve tasted better.” He’d already expected that answer but he rolled his eyes anyway. “But, umm…” You dawdled. Trying to vocalize your gratitude to him was as hard as acing your algebra test. “Thank you, I guess.”
He gave you a weird look, astonished but also judging the way you said it. Once he detected the genuineness behind it, a coy smile graced his lips. “You’re welcome.”
“I’ve called my mother and let her know that if I die within a few hours from now, she’ll know who’s responsible.”
“Will you ever stop yapping?”
“Will you ever stop being annoying?”
“It’s part of my charm, Muffin.”
“It’s part of mine too, Ren.” You mirrored his glare, but also the little smile that followed right after.
Despite your constant banter with him, the atmosphere was light, like a feeling that shrouded two friends having friendly arguments over a movie. “No, seriously,” you asked him softly this time, wanting him to be honest with you for once. “Why did you suddenly feel like you wanted to make it up to me?”
He pondered, seeming utterly conflicted between telling you the truth and losing his dignity in the process or lying about it even more. He knew the latter would only piss you off so with his eyes looking anywhere else but yours, he mumbled out, “I just—I realized that you weren’t…” It looked like it physically hurt him to say the words. “… as bad as I thought you would be.”
Now you couldn’t deny the slight jolt your heart did when you heard his line (which was dumb because this was Devil Incarnate #1 for God's sake). But it wasn’t just his words that did that to you, it was his tone, the expression on his face, his body language when he said it. Eren was being… sincere.
You stuck out your tongue, acting disgusted. “Why does it sound so gross coming out of your mouth?”
“Oh my God, you’re so—”
Before he could finish his sentence, a female voice came to your hearing zone. Eren’s eyes widened and he pushed you against the wall, his bottle falling to the floor with a dull thud. Your chests were plastered against one another, warm skin meeting warmer one. He had both hands on the wall, placing each one on each side of your head, hiding both of your frames beside the vending machine.
“What are you doing—”
“Pretending to make out with you,” he said before he bent his head down. You could feel his breath on your neck, hear every time he inhaled your scent.
Two females were passing through the hallway, chattering as they walked past you. “Eww, gross, get a room already,” one of them muttered. “Come on, we should go.” They quickened their steps, their heels clicking as they took fast strides, heading toward the stairs.
Eren, with his face buried in the crook of your neck, murmured, "Hold still until they're gone." You knew he was referring to your pose, but you were also holding your breath. Once their voices turned faint, he slightly widened the gap. He still had one hand propping himself against the wall, his other one trapping your jaw underneath his lean fingers. You could feel his breath fanning your lips, the tip of his nose almost brushing against yours. And you wondered whether you wished he had distanced himself further or leaned even closer.
He smelled like sweat, as expected, but underneath that, you could also smell him—pelargonium, warm cinnamon, and cloves. It might just be his perfume but— “Sorry,” he expressed, a bit timidly, “I don’t wear perfume for practice. I must smell like sweat, huh?”
So you’re telling me this is your natural scent?! “Yeah," you snorted. "You stink. Remind me why are we in this position again?”
“Psychotic ex-girlfriend,” he casually explained as if your faces weren’t hanging two inches away from each other. “Just didn’t feel like being spat on again.”
You were both talking in whispers. “I thought…” There was this tension surrounding you, heavy but not displeasing. Suffocating in the best way. “You don’t date.”
When he chuckled, you could almost feel the vibrations on your skin. His fingertips felt scorching and yet delicate when they traced your jawline, gently guiding your face upward to meet his eyes. You expected to see a smirk, but what he gave you was a light, mysterious smile that pricked on your curiosity. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me, baby.”
You almost shivered at the nickname. “Liar. She's probably just someone you had a quickie with before the show.”
Eren’s eyes turned half-lidded, gazing at you like he was appreciating a beautiful painting. “Maybe.” He glided his thumb over your lips, biting the corner of his lower one to resist the temptation. “What about you? Do you date?”
None of you bothered to keep your eyes on each other anymore. You just let them wander, tracing the shape of his mouth as he did yours with his. “I don’t have quickies with random men, that’s for sure.”
His lips bowed. “It’s literally just a yes or no question.”
“Well, I don’t—”
He kissed you, tentatively but firm. Your bodies were meshed, his hand framing your face but it only felt different when your lips moved against one another. He caught you off guard but it was as startling as the fact that you felt disappointed when he broke away.
“You…” You wetted your lip, and he almost groaned at the sight of your tongue peeking out, wanting to have it tangled around his. “You just kissed me…”
The desire in his eyes matched the one that rose quickly in your chest. "Did you like it?"
"Well, I'm—" He cut you off again, only this time, he didn't just kiss you to have a taste. He did it to devour your lips. It was like something snapped within him when he saw the look in your eyes, and you were glad that you didn’t have to voice your thoughts out loud.
You were reaching out to grab him by the nape when he took a fistful of your hair. Two parted mouths consuming one another as if you were fighting for air. Your hands landed on his chest, contemplating between pushing him away or keeping him close as the voice inside your head kept telling you that it was a bad idea to keep this going. Eren didn’t give you the chance to decide, however, as he clamped his hands tightly around your wrists, pinning them against the wall.
"You gotta let me…” you tried to vocalize between heavy kisses, body arching to complete his like a perfect set of a puzzle. “…talk…”
Eren's brain was shut down, his body moving solely on instinct. On lust. He grunted against your mouth as a form of response, teeth gnawing at your supple flesh. He could taste the rest of your strawberry milkshake that coated your tongue, and you could taste yourself in his mouth. The zest of his kiss made your legs buckle, and you slid down the wall for only a few centimeters but he was quick to notice. Eren slipped his leg between yours, his thigh pressing against the zipper of your jeans, and your breath hitched in your throat. There was this little growl that erupted from the back of his throat—one that sounded so sensual—when he felt you nipping at his lower lip, teasing it between your teeth. “Fuck,” he breathed out but he swallowed the praise that was about to follow. The kiss was raw and bruising but the thrill was unlike any other. It was addicting as it was... dangerous.
“Eren!” Armin’s voice was like a ball smashing against the window, shattering whatever it was that clouded you and him. You both broke away, just right in time before the blonde boy stepped into the hallway, noticing your presence. “Oh, there you are! Your phone’s ringing. I think it’s our manager.”
“I’ll be there,” Eren said, noticeably flustered and you wondered why. It wasn’t like him to feel all over the place over a kiss. “I, uh, I’m gonna go.”
“Yeah, okay.” You played nonchalant, smoothening down your shirt. “Break a leg.”
It was awkward when he left, but it would’ve been more awkward if he stayed. So, he did, with his thoughts jumbled and his chest feeling like it was about to explode. Before he disappeared into the studio, he stepped back to catch one more look. “Hey, Muffin.”
You card your fingers through your hair—a messy piece of art designed by his hand. “What?”
He hesitated. The words were sitting heavily on his tongue but he couldn’t move the muscle. Giving up with a defeated sigh, he alternated with, “Break a leg is what you say to actors. You should’ve said merde.”
“Pretty sure merde is French for poop.”
“No, it’s not.”
“Yes, it is.”
“And how would you know?”
You smiled, one corner of your lips rising higher than the other. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me, baby.”
***
You and Eren didn’t share a word on your way back to their flat, probably because Armin was present. The blue-eyed boy felt the tension but he didn’t comment on it. Eren, for once, felt too indecisive to state out his thoughts. You stole glances at the brunette from the rear-view mirror, his attractive face illuminated by the headlights of passing cars. He was on the edge of his seat, both literally and figuratively and you wondered why. Surely, it was just a kiss?
When you stopped your van in front of their apartment building, Armin climbed out first, followed by Eren who seemed to have his body glued to his seat. You rolled down your window, keeping your engine running. “It’s my day off tomorrow so I won’t be around, but you can call me if you need anything, Bambi.”
“You won’t be around?” Armin sulked like a child. “Oh, man… I wish we could hang but I've got a variety show I need to film tomorrow.”
“I’ll see you again on Monday. Maybe we can take a short trip to the bookstore before your interview?”
He beamed. “You’re the best, honestly.” Bidding his farewell with a warm wave of his hand, the boy turned to the other man. “Come on, Eren, let’s go.”
“You go ahead. I need to talk to her.”
“O… kay…” Armin observed him with a deep furrow on his temple, noticing the tension but decided not to speak up. “All right, I’ll see you guys later, then.”
“Bye, Bambi.” Exchanging smiles with you, Armin left, stepping inside the building and disappearing inside an elevator.
Eren shifted toward you, tautening his hold around the sling of his sports bag. “We need to talk.”
“Okay.”
“You don’t want to shut down the engine first?”
“Why, would it take a while?” You smiled at him, acting as if you were drained to your bones—which was true, but not this much. “I’m a bit tired.”
His eyes darkened. Clearly, he did not approve of your attitude. “Fine, let’s cut to the chase then,” he bitterly countered. “Why did you kiss me back?”
“I didn’t.” The way you kept your smile intact throughout the conversation sparked his temper. “You kissed me. I just happened to let you do it.”
His eyes were almost sinister as they perceived you. "Seriously?”
You pouted, blinking your eyes cutely just to rile him up even more. “Was that not what happened?”
“You—” Vexation quickened his blood, painting angry red to his cheeks. “I can’t believe you’re playing hard to get after you stuck your tongue in my mouth!”
“Excuse me?” You retorted, feigning disbelief. “Why are you acting like I just took advantage of you? You kissed me without my permission.”
“Yeah, but—” He exhaled sharply, threading a hand through his hair. “You know what? Yeah. Let’s just pretend that you weren’t rubbing yourself against my thigh two hours ago.”
“Oh no, I’m devastated.” You sniggered. “Might cry myself to sleep tonight.”
“Fuck you.”
“Unfortunately, you can’t, Muffin.” You cast a wink and before he could say anything else, you stepped on your gas and drove away.
Through your window mirror, you could see him standing frozen on the pavement, scowling at you as if he could magically engulf you in flames by his stare. You chuckled to yourself.
Revenge had never tasted so sweet.
***
“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” you lamented against your phone, “You promised that I’d get my day off today. I’ve already told my friend that I'd go to her party!”
“I know, I’m so sorry.” Your aunt was even whinier than you were. “I promise I’ll pay you for your time. I don’t have anyone else to ask for help, honey, I’m desperate!”
You took a glance at the digital clock sitting on your nightstand. It was almost eight-thirty pm, which meant you still had an hour to spare before the party started. You huffed in defeat, blowing out your cheeks. “Fine, but I’ll hold you to your word.”
“I promise. Look, I’ll even transfer the money to you right now.”
“Perfect. Give me the address then.”
It already took you almost an hour just to get into CMN’s building because of the traffic. Grumbling under your breath, you quickly fetched the invitation letters from the lobby—the same ones that your aunt told you to deliver to the boys. By boys, she meant Eren and Jean who were now staying in a five-star hotel where they would be attending a music award event tomorrow.
“Thirty-two minutes?!” You gasped, glowering at your GPS. You didn’t realize the hotel would be that far away. You were going to miss the party for sure. Oh, God, I was looking forward to it too. Clicking your tongue in irritation, you started your engine and drove away.
About fifty minutes later—damn traffic—you found yourself walking into the lobby of the Eastin Hotel. You weren’t sure you were going to get permission to go up to their room but after showing the receptionist your business card, they let you through.
“I can’t believe I’m seeing them again on my day off,” you groused, jabbing your finger against the doorbell of room 1802. You waited, your patience running thin as you logged back into your Instagram account. Your friends were already having fun at the pool, sipping margaritas and dancing to the upbeat music, while you were there, sweating and breathless from all the running, with anger bubbling up quickly on your chest.
Then, the door slid open.
“Well, hello, darling,” Jean cooed with his usual seductive smirk. “Eren, our room service is here. Think we got ourselves lucky tonight.”
“Shut it.” You pointed your finger at him. You were seething, and usually, you would hold back your anger, but with all the traffic, the sudden change in your plans, and his pesky attitude, you were way past your limit. “I am this close at murdering you with my bare hands, Jean Kirstein. I can’t believe you forgot to bring your invitation letter! That’s literally the only thing you have to bring!”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, calm down.” He grinned, leaning his back against the doorframe. “You’re gonna wake up the neighbors.” You could feel his eyes wander your body, stopping momentarily to see how perfectly your black dress hugged your waist. “Why are you all dressed up?”
“Because I was supposed to be at a party an hour ago.”
“You look nice.”
“You look disgusting. As always.” Which was a lie, obviously, because Jean was dressed so handsomely in a pair of black trousers and a white button-down shirt with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, showcasing veiny arms and large palms. Knowing the boys’ schedule, you were sure that he and Eren were dressed in expensive suits before. It was only right to dress up when you had dinner together with the executives of CMN. Staying unfazed, however, you slapped his letter—and Eren’s—to his chest. “Here. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go kill myself before you boys do.”
You rotated on your heels, about to stomp away when Jean took you by the wrist. “Or you can just stay?” He offered, his smile seemed a lot more innocent than it was twenty seconds ago. “We’re having some wine. You look like you could use a drink.”
Wine? The word echoed wonderfully in your ears. It had been a while since you had some (poor college students couldn’t drink wine for fun). Sighing, you took a peek at your phone screen. It was almost eleven pm. The party was still going on, of course, but it would take you another one-hour drive—even without traffic—and you didn’t really feel like going anymore.
“I hate you,” you muttered but you walked past him anyway. Jean chortled to himself, following after you as you stepped further into the suite.
As a broke college student who couldn’t even pay your rent on time, this suite you were in looked like a fucking castle—one that was futuristically designed, of course. It featured two separate bedrooms, with a living room that was probably bigger than your entire apartment. Plush sofas and a chaise longue were placed in front of a full-set home cinema system. The walls that separated the room with the balcony were fully made of glass, giving way to skyline views of the city.
“It isn’t bad, is it?” Jean questioned, walking past you with his hands tucked inside the pocket of his pants.
“Not bad at all,” you mumbled, still a little bit dazed with the scenery. You followed him further into the living room, marveling over the paintings that were plastered on the wall. You only stopped once you spotted Eren—the same Eren Jaeger who kissed you yesterday—still dressed perfectly in his black suit and a matching tie, lounging on the couch with his legs stretched out on the coffee table. His hair was tied up in a bun, nothing unusual, with a few of his baby hairs falling to his temple. He had a cigarette resting between his fingers and a phone in his other hand. There were two tall glasses nearby—both of them were half-empty—and a bottle of Jordan Cabernet Sauvignon. You weren’t knowledgeable when it came to winery, but you could tell that bottle cost more than your entire outfit including what was inside your purse.
Seeing him elevated your mood, knowing that you’d get to tease him again. “Hey, handsome.”
Eren, about to take a drag, drifted his eyes toward you. “Fuck,” was the only thing that came out of his mouth, the cigarette in his hand left forgotten. You wondered if he cursed because he was annoyed at your presence, but it seemed unlikely with the way he was gazing at you. Just like Jean, Eren sized you up and down, being even more blatant with his stare, undressing you with his eyes. And you thought Jean was obvious.
“Take a picture, baby,” you sneered at him. “It will last longer.”
The stupefied look quickly morphed into a scowl. “What are you doing here?”
“Delivering our letters,” Jean answered on your behalf, taking a seat right next to him. “Better not bring it up again if you don’t want to have your balls cut off.” The ash-brown-haired man snatched a cigarette from its package, placing it between his lips. “Where’s the lighter?”
“Somewhere on the couch.” Eren was still glaring at you, watching you take a seat on the other side of the sofa with narrowed eyes.
“Yeah, keep staring at me like that,” you challenged him. “That would make me want to kiss you again.”
“Did something happen?” Jean asked before Eren could form his retort, moving his eyes back and forth between you and the brunette.
“Oh, Eren kissed me without permission and he’s butthurt because he thinks I took advantage of him.”
“What—I don’t—” Eren’s face caught fire before he hissed, “Oh, shut up.”
He’s so transparent, you giggled.
“I can’t find the lighter,” Jean complained, not really paying attention to your words. Eren groaned, his mood was all over the place because of you. Grabbing Jean by the collar, he closed the distance between their faces. The taller male staggered but he kept his body still, knowing what Eren was intending to do. While holding his own in his mouth, Jean touched the end of Eren’s lit cigarette to his. Then, he inhaled.
“There you go, buddy,” Eren said once his cigarette was lit properly, releasing his hold from him.
With a muffled, “Thanks,” Jean reclined on the couch, the fabric around his collar crumpled from Eren’s grip. He returned his gaze toward you. “Why are you sitting over there? Come here.”
“I didn’t want to interrupt,” you uttered slyly, standing up from your seat. “I thought you guys were having a moment.”
Jean snorted. “He wishes.”
“Not as much as you do, Horseface.”
You held back your amusement from showing. Jean took you by the hand, guiding you to settle between them. The couch was probably big enough for eight people to sit on, but your shoulders were almost grazing theirs from how close they were to you. You didn’t mind.
“I didn’t expect you guys to be this close to each other in real life,” you commented, silently thanking Jean when he handed you a glass. He poured you some red wine, and as you took a sip, you were shortly impressed by the perfect balance between beautiful fruit, silky tannins, and a lingering finish. You took another big gulp and asked Jean for more. “I mean, you did a lot of fanservice together on stage, but I thought it was just a setup to make yourself more popular.”
“Well, there’s that too, of course.” To your surprise, Eren was the one who answered. You thought he would ignore your existence for the rest of the night, but that didn’t seem like the case. There was still a bitter undertone in his voice but his anger was dissipating. “Want a drag?” He raised his cigarette in the air.
With a smile, too innocent to be alluring, you curled your fingers around his wrist, bringing it closer to your face. Eren watched with hazy eyes, loving the way your lips closed seductively around the same spot he had his mouth on earlier. You inhaled, filling smoke into your lungs before you tilted up your chin and released it in the air. The column of your throat was exposed, allowing his gaze to shift down to your neckline that hung too low. It reveals enough of your cleavage to tease his eyes, but Eren was voracious for more.
It wasn’t just him who was staring. Jean's eyes lingered just as intensely, although he was focusing more on the way your dress rode up your thighs. It felt electrifying, to be heavily gazed at with lust like you were a prey ready to be ravished. You knew that it was only a matter of time before one of you made the first move, and then—
The doorbell rang, surprising all three of you at once. Jean let out a harsh breath. “Must be room service,” he muttered as he returned to his feet. When he left to unlock the door, you returned your attention to Eren.
You just had your lips parted, ready to form his name when he reached out a hand. His fingers skimmed over your cheek, a bit warmer than usual. You had expected him to kiss you and if he did, you wouldn’t be surprised. But he didn’t. He only swatted some loose strands from your face, gently tucking your hair behind your ear. It made you feel weird in such a pleasant way.
"You're still angry with me?" You queried with a juvenile smile breaking on your lips, peering into his eyes.
"What do you think?" His voice was dulcet, almost felt like it didn't belong to him. His eyes drifted down to your lips again, and you were reminded of the passion he burned on your skin a night ago. “You’re gorgeous,” he whispered.
You grinned, sweet and innocent, just the way he liked it. “You don’t look so bad yourself.”
Jean returned to the living room with a trolley that was filled with ice buckets and a huge plate of blueberry pancakes. The sight made you stitch your eyebrows together. The ice buckets you could understand, but pancakes?
“What?” Eren shrugged when both you and Jean sent him a judging look. “I have midnight cravings, sue me.”
“Sorry, dude, I didn’t realize you were pregnant,” Jean mocked but a grin broke upon his lips when he snatched a bottle of whiskey from the bucket. Holding it in his hands, he showcased his signature smirk. “Let’s have some fun, shall we?”
***
Two hours, half a bottle of wine and one bottle of whiskey later, you found yourself resting your head on Eren’s lap, your legs on Jean’s. Eren’s suit has been shucked off, but he still kept his tie hanging loosely around his neck. Jean’s white shirt was unbuttoned to his chest, enough for you to admire his sculpted muscles if you wanted to.
You were chuckling at the stupid joke Jean was making about a princess and a horse. You didn’t get it. You just giggled because you caught Eren smiling at the joke, and he laughed because you laughed. Jean was so impressed with himself, he went to tell you another anecdote. None of you really cared. It just felt comforting hearing Jean’s voice and Eren’s little chuckles. You were just simply enjoying the moment.
That moment started to change, however, when the alcohol began to kick in. You were tipsy, but not that much. You were still aware of your surroundings, still aware of how Eren’s fingers were resting dangerously close to your breasts, still aware of how Jean’s calloused palms were sliding up and down your legs. The alcohol didn’t make you foolish, it just made you feel… brazen.
You knew what started it. It began with Eren’s hand framing the underpart of your jaw, his thumb tracing the shape of your mouth. His eyes drooped low, enchanted by the view. “What are you staring at, Muffin?” you teased him. He snorted at the nickname, but the alcohol fogged his thoughts, thick enough to make him frank.
“Your lips,” he answered, his thumb gliding from the corner of your mouth to stop in the middle.
“And what about my lips?” You slightly parted them, enough to let your breath caress his fingertip.
“They’re pretty.” He said it in a sigh as if it was a secret he’d been wanting to tell for so long. “Look even prettier like this.”
“Like what?” Eren swore he saw your eyes gleam a split second before you enveloped his thumb with your lips, cheeks hollowing to provide gentle suction before you twirled your tongue around the tip. Eren’s breath caught in his throat but he didn’t lay his emotions on the table. You released his finger with an obscene pop, tongue sweeping over your bottom lip to break the string of saliva. “Like that?”
Knowing the last time he kissed you, you pretended like it was only him who wanted it to happen, Eren didn’t want to repeat the same mistake. But, God, you were so pretty—so goddamn alluring, you left him weak. So he lowered his head, and you permitted him to pull your face toward his, letting his lips consume yours again.
Jean, who had been playing with his phone, froze at the sight. But when you split away from the kiss, your lips glistening with Eren’s spit, you invited him over with a sultry smile. “There's room for one more if you want.”
Then everything went so fast, it felt like a blur.
Your body was perched on the couch, trapped between the two. Eren brought a blueberry to your lips and you caught it between your front teeth. He leaned in to close the bridge between your mouths, his expert tongue curling around yours, thieving the fruit and your breath away at the same time. You felt Jean’s fingers pressed against your jawline, turning you over to him so you could taste the rest of the whipped cream that blanketed his lips.
“You’re a goddamn beauty,” Jean breathed, placing a wet kiss on your nape.
“Your lips taste fucking amazing,” Eren groaned, a moment before your tongues danced.
They were giving you all the attention, dousing you with all the compliments you deserve. Every touch made you feel wanted. Every kiss was a form of desire. And they drowned you in it. In rapture. In ecstasy.
Eren snatched the bottle of wine from the table, too drunk to care about using glass. He took a few drinks, red wine dripping to his chin, staining the collar of his shirt that was now unbuttoned to his chest. With Jean’s lips still sucking bruises on your neck, you twirled Eren’s tie around your hand, tugging it slightly to return his attention to you. “I want some,” you told him and he reciprocated with a smirk.
Instead of handing the bottle over to you, Eren took another sip and kissed you roughly. His strong hand held you by your jaw, his thumb pressing against the corner of your mouth, forcing it open. You obeyed, drinking the wine directly from his mouth.
Jean’s lips peppered kisses down your spine, his hand settled on your breast, gently massaging it before he squeezed you a little harder. You whimpered in pleasure against Eren’s mouth, both from the sensation of Jean’s touches and the way the brunette’s tongue was flicking over yours. Eren licked a stripe up from your chin to your lips, wiping the rest of the wine that dribbled down your skin. “How did it taste?” He asked you, loving the way your tongue peeked out to trace your lip.
You purred when he smooched you again, a bit lazily this time, which made it feel even more sensual. “You mean the wine?” You closed your eyes, choosing to focus solely on the little sounds he made as he suckled on your earlobe. “Or you?” Eren’s mouth was pressing hotly against your neck, and you were sure he was going to leave bruises but you didn’t care.
It was Jean who spoke. “What about me?” His lips were thinner than Eren’s, softer too. He kissed you with a hint of romance, which served as a fresh change to Eren’s burning passion. You moaned against his mouth and Jean took the chance to slip his tongue past your teeth.
“You kiss by the book, Kirstein,” you praised breathily as he nipped on your lower lip. You could feel his mouth curve into a smile, deepening the kiss with his soft moan painting the little space between you.
Eren was jealous, you could tell with the way he suddenly grabbed you by the chin, almost growling when your mouths collided. Jean was a little bit more mature than he was, letting him steal your kiss but it didn’t mean that he was patient. He worked on your zipped, tugging it down, while Eren slipped his hand between your legs. You could feel the material of your dress slipping off your shoulders, Eren’s tongue delving inside your clavicle, Jean’s fingers playing with the hook of your bra.
“I want to fuck your mouth,” Eren whispered, stroking two fingers against your lips and when you parted them, he pressed his digits flat on your tongue.
Jean’s raspy groan was right next to your ear. “I want to taste your cunt.”
You shut your lids, your blood boiling under your skin. Fingers were rubbing against your lingerie, and hands were placed on your thighs to spread your legs wide open. Jean tore your bra away, tossing it over his shoulder. He suddenly lifted you by the waist, laying you down on the round marble table.
“Is this your idea of fun?” You teased him when he took off your dress, throwing it haphazardly on the floor.
“What, is this not fun for you?” Jean pushed your legs forward, keeping his palms at the back of your thighs as he rubbed himself against your clothed heat. You could feel him, could feel how huge he was, throbbing cock aching to be released from its confinement. The friction he gave you stole your attention away that when Eren suddenly moved to the other side of the table, his palm pressing against the underside of your chin to lift your face, you gasped against his mouth.
Eren kissed you upside down, giving you a different sensation and leaving you dazed when he broke away. Looming tall above you, he let his fingers work on his tie. “You better not forget about me, baby girl,” he purred, yanking it away from his collar with one swift movement of his hand. He then toyed with the buttons of his shirt, his smirk was devilish. He knew you were watching him, lascivious eyes wanting to see more of his body. He could’ve torn his shirt open with one hand but he didn’t. He wanted to tease you. Wanted to make you suffer. “All this time pretending you don’t want me,” Eren sneered. “Who’s your daddy now?”
His palm hit your cheek, leaving a burning, tingling sensation on your skin. It was hard enough to toss your face to the side but barely enough to send pain coursing through your veins. It was only to tease, to slightly humiliate you, and it did its job. You’d always loved to find a little bit of pain in pleasure.
You poked your tongue against the inside of your cheek, lips curving upwards in a cocky smile. “You think you can control me, Daddy?”
“Let’s see about that.” You were both smiling into the kiss before you felt his tongue exploring your mouth, his nails raking up from your stomach to the front of your throat. You felt something sticky being dribbled onto your bare chest, trickling down to your navel.
“Something sweet for the sweetest girl,” Jean commented, impressed and satisfied as he smeared the maple syrup all over your skin. You could feel his mouth on your abdomen, tongue tracing along your hip bone, licking the substance off your skin.
Eren, keeping his feet on the ground, leaned forward to latch his mouth on your breast. You mewled in content, kissing the taut muscles of his abs, your hand moving past your head to cup his hardness that was straining against the silky fabric of his pants. “Fuck, baby,” Eren moaned, squeezing hard on your breast, sucking on your nipple none too gently. He was rougher than Jean, more ardent as if he wasn’t afraid to hurt you. He did the same thing to your other breast, the vibration of his grunts felt perilous on your sensitive skin.
Your body jolted when you felt Jean's tongue teasing over the fabric of your lingerie. Your thighs closed around his head in reflex but he spread them open again, keeping your legs pinned to the table with his hands. "Didn't I tell you, Sweetheart?" he murmured, softly kissing the inner parts of your thigh. "I want to taste you." His breath felt hot on your skin, but you shivered in response. He pushed your lingerie to the side, licking a stripe up from your entrance to your clit. It had been so long since you had someone pleasuring you like this, that even a single flick of his tongue sent tremors all over your body.
Jean chuckled, loving your reaction just as much as he loved your taste. "Think I'll have you for dessert," he said, wet tongue swirling around your clit before he played it between his lips. “Such a pretty fucking pussy.”
“Wait,” you gasped out, fingers clawing against Eren's biceps. “Wait…”
They stopped, breaking away to give you space. “You all right?” Jean asked you from between your legs. He hadn’t gotten enough taste of you yet, but your consent was his priority.
Tossing him a reassuring smile, you told him to let you go for a minute. You returned to your feet, sliding your lingerie off your legs. Their eyes traversed down your body, enchanted by the way you swayed your hips, wondering how it would feel to have their nails sinking into your skin as they fucked you from behind.
You whirled around, your skin felt like it was on fire underneath the intensity of their gazes. “If we’re gonna do this,” you tempted them with seduction, both on your lips and in your eyes. “Let’s do this right.”
You took them both by their hands, leading the way to the master bedroom. You were their queen, stepping into your throne. Taking a seat at the edge of the bed, you crossed your legs and rested your palms on the sheets as you leaned back.
“Boys,” you called. “Why don’t we start with you two sucking each other off?”
“You want us to do what?”
There. Now you’re all caught up.
***
Jean has a secret he hasn’t told you. Or anyone else for that matter. And the truth is…
Fuck, he tastes so good.
Eren’s lips are nothing like a girl’s. They don’t feel as soft, they don’t taste as sweet. But it’s precisely because they’re so different, that when their mouths clash, it feels ten times better. Jean doesn’t have to hold himself back. He doesn’t have to be careful or gentle. Eren kisses like he wants to tear him apart and he can kiss him back just as rough, just as demanding.
The brunette pulls away, a string of saliva connecting their lips. Jean sees the way his viridian eyes move back and forth, drifting from his eyes to his lips as if he’s trying to figure out why the fuck does this feel so good?—the same question that Jean has been asking himself. But that’s where he's wrong.
Because Eren already knows how good it feels to kiss boys. Or to fuck boys. What he doesn’t know—yet—is how good it would feel to have his cock hitting the back of Jean’s throat, and he can’t wait to find out. The shorter male wets his lips—they’re bruised and red, and if Jean kisses him again, just a tad harder, maybe they’ll look even prettier.
Jean is done denying himself. He’s done contradicting the fact that his eyes always lingered a little too long on Eren’s hips during dance practices. And he’s done—he’s so fucking done—pretending like those dirty thoughts he had about him at night don’t exist. He’s thought about him a lot, thought about how pretty Eren’s lips would look around his cock. Thought about those striking green eyes looking up at him as he fucks his mouth. Thought about how his cum would look so good on his sun-kissed skin. And he'd thought about all of that as he fucked his own fist, biting his lip to refrain Eren’s name from escaping his mouth.
“Fuck this.” Jean tugs him back by his key-shaped pendant, sharing grunts and groans when their teeth nip at each other’s lips. Eren’s fingers scratched against his nape, messing up his mullet like how Jean does with his bun. Their jaws clench with every movement, hairs being tugged harshly at the roots.
“You taste fucking disgusting, Jaeger,” Jean snarls before he sucks on his tongue.
Eren sinks his nails on his chest, painting angry half-moons on his skin. “You’re gonna make me vomit,” he counters but their kisses are more teeth than anything else, and if Eren can make him bleed, good.
Jean isn’t given enough time to think about anything else when the other man suddenly descends to his knees. The taller male tenses, his eyes shaking in anticipation. Eren pushes his trousers down to his mid-thighs, frees Jean’s cock, and lets it slap against his stomach. Eren glowers at the sight. He hates to admit just how fucking huge he is. He hates it even more that it only makes him want him better. “Relax, Horseface,” he says. “I’ve done this before.”
“What do you mean you’ve done—fuck—” Jean chokes the second Eren takes him into his mouth, his body slightly bending forward with his fingers fisting his bun. His mouth is warmer than he thought it would be, his teeth dangerously gliding against the pulsating vein on his cock. Ah, shit, Jean laments in his head, I’m so fucking turned on.
Giving in to his desire, he moves his hips, thrusting his cock inside Eren’s mouth. The shorter male growls back, jade eyes sending daggers to him. Eren places both hands on each side of Jean’s hips, holding him in place. He pulls away, Jean’s cock sliding heavily out of his mouth. “I get to suck your cock,” Eren lowly says, gripping tightly on his length, “But you don’t get to fuck my mouth. You got that?”
Jean swallows thickly. The dominating tone in Eren’s voice is something he hasn’t heard before. “Uh… Yeah.”
Eren bobs his head down again, trying to take as much as he can until Jean can feel his head hitting the back of his throat. He whimpers, his hold tensing around Eren’s hair, his thighs trembling.
You giggle at the sight. “You guys are turning me on.”
You step down the bed, taking a couple of strides to reach their spot. Jean’s eyes are half-lidded, hazy with lust when your hand slides up from the middle of his chest to his shoulder. You play with the end of his hair that’s plastered against his nape, damp with sweat. “Does it feel good, Sweetheart?” You ask him, using the nickname he gave you. Your other hand goes down to slip between Eren’s strands, pushing his head forward to take more of Jean’s twitching member.
Eren lets out an involuntary moan, tears prickling on the corners of his eyes. “Mmph!” He chokes, gagging around his length.
“Ssshh,” you shush him down with a smile, stroking the back of his head. “Hold it in. You’re a big boy, aren’t you, Ren? I’m sure you can handle a cock in your mouth.” Eren breathes sharply through his nose, glaring at you but it only makes you smirk wider. “If you can make him cum, I’ll give you a reward.”
Eren breaks away, gasping between coughs. “I’m gonna make you cry after this.”
“Mmm, I can’t wait.” You fasten your hold around his locks, shoving his head forward and backward. Eren lets his jaw hang loose, tasting the saltiness of Jean’s pre-cum, the tip of his nose grazing the hairs that covered his pelvis.
Your tongue is parting Jean’s thin lips when the man shudders, “Fuck, fuck,” he gasps against your mouth. “I’m gonna—”
“Cum, baby,” you whisper, taking his earlobe between your teeth. “Cum in his mouth, I wanna see it. Wanna see him lap at your cock like a slut that he is.”
Eren snarls back but he has no other choice but to sit still with how tightly you’re holding him in his place. Tears mist his hazy eyes, and you wish Jean could hold it in just a little bit longer so you can see Eren cry on his cock. But this is good enough. If Jean can’t make him cry, you’ll do it yourself later.
Jean’s hips stutter when he cums, his jaw turning slack, a long, guttural moan escaping his throat. Eren breathes heavily from his nose, feeling his warm seeds filling his mouth but before he can do anything about it, you yank harshly on his hair, forcing him to face the ceilings. “Open up,” you command him, and he does, letting you take a good look at the thick cum that pools in his mouth. You giggle, satisfied by the sight. “Keep your mouth open for me.” You bend yourself forward, your face hovering above his. You spit into his mouth, startling him. Eren sinks his nails into his thighs, emerald eyes piercing yours as he thinks of ways to make you pay for what you did. Undaunted, you swipe two of your fingers on his chin to collect the cum that trickles down the skin. Jean, still dazed after his orgasm, moans when you shove your fingers inside his mouth, letting him get a taste of himself. Forcing Jean to suck on your fingers, you turn your head toward the boy who’s still waiting obediently on his knees. Smirking, you say, “Now, swallow.”
Eren keeps his eyes on you as he does, trying not to grimace because he knows you’re going to use it as another reason for you to ridicule him. Jean’s seeds leave a bitter aftertaste and he loathes it, but it’s okay. Eren will make Jean pay for that.
And you. He’s going to make you pay for that.
You’re about to land your fingers on his cheek when Eren harshly slaps your hand away. Returning to his feet, he grabs you by the neck, his palm pressing against the front of your throat, fingers curling against the sides. He kisses you roughly, hungrily, taking your breath away but you’re unsure if it’s solely because of his lips or his leans fingers that threaten to crush your windpipes. When he pulls away, your lips are parted in desperate need to refill the air in your lungs. Eren spits in your mouth, just like you did to him a minute ago, only harshly. “How do you like that?” He questions with a smirk.
You chuckle. “I love it, Daddy.” Because even if you don’t, you’re not going to give him the satisfaction of having his power over you.
Eren sweeps your feet off the floor, carrying you with one hand wrapped around your back as you tangle your legs around his waist. Right before he brings you over to the bed, you hook your fingers around Jean’s necklace, tugging him forward with you. Jean, with his legs still wobbling under his weight, nearly trips over his feet before he follows you both.
Eren throws your body onto the sheets, making you bounce once from how careless he’s being. “You’re gonna give me my reward, Sweetheart?” He asks, looking down at you with a degrading stare as he takes his leather belt out of the loops. He ties it around your throat, treating it as a leash. Yanking it forward, he forces you to sit upon the bed until you have your lips hovering a few inches below his. “Gonna be my fucking bitch for the night?”
Eren burns you with his gaze, with his kiss, with his fire. “I’ll be whatever you want, Daddy.”
“What will you offer me then?”
“Everything.” With a nudge of your head, Jean discards the rest of his clothes and joins you on the side of the bed. You tilt your head to the side as an invitation for Jean to praise your body. He eagerly latches his lips on the pulsating vein on your neck, giving kitten licks on the spot under your ear. “Do you want to fuck my mouth?” You ask him, spreading your legs and pushing the fabric of your lingerie to the side so Eren can take a good look at your protruding clit. “Or would Daddy like a taste?”
It’s fucking ridiculous just how much Eren wants you. You’re asking him this question with another man’s hands roaming your body as if you don’t care whether he exists in the room or not. Your lips might form the words that he wants to hear—that you are there to please him for the night—but the rest of your body expresses that Eren doesn’t own even the slightest part of you. God, it’s like the more you’re playing hard to get, the more he wants you. You give him the thrill he’s been looking for. Unlike other girls, you don’t succumb to him, and he’s running out of tricks trying to beat you into submission. Even when it’s obvious just how wet you are for him right now, your arrogant smirk never falters from your face.
“What?” You croon, every tone and gesture is seduction at its finest. You arch your back, making a lewd expression when Jean traps your nipple between his teeth. “Cat got your tongue, Daddy?”
Eren scoffs. “You want me to eat you out?”
“Only if Daddy wants to.”
“Yeah, you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Eren slaps his hand against your cunt, making you giggle with your legs closing in reflex.
“Don’t be so mean to me, Daddy.” You bat your eyelashes at him. “Otherwise, you wouldn’t get to fuck me.”
“Do you think I’m waiting for your permission?”
“Of course you are.” You run a tongue over your lower lip, knowing how much it drives him insane. “Cause you like me, don’t you, Ren? You’re not gonna hurt me, not in that way. Go ahead and tell me I’m wrong.”
He grits his teeth behind tight lips. You’re a witch. You must be a goddamn witch to be playing with his mind like that.
“That’s right,” you snicker. “You just can’t wait to shut me up with your cock, can you? Though I don’t think you can even if you try.”
Eren snorts, the corner of his mouth quirking up. “Jean,” he calls out and the other man lifts his head from the curve of your neck. “Give us a moment, will ya? I need to teach her a lesson.”
If he was still as turned on as he was a few minutes ago, Jean would’ve formed a protest. But with all the alcohol in his system, his cock still flaccid between his legs, he would actually be thankful to just lean back and watch the show. “She’s all yours.”
“Aaw,” you send a pout in Jean's direction. “You’re gonna leave me with him? Just like that? What a bummer.” You spin your face toward the green-eyed boy again, a naughty twinkle in your eyes. “His cock isn’t even as huge as yours.”
That flips the switch. “Come here,” Eren growls, forcefully pulling you to the edge of the bed by the belt that circles your neck. You’re giggling, squealing in anticipation. This is your game, and he’s making all of this too easy. Standing right next to the edge of the bed, Eren orders you to sit on your heels like the obedient little girl he wants you to behave. And for once, you do as he says, looking up at him through your eyelashes.
His hand finds his belt again, twisting it around his palm to guide your face closer to him. “Stick out your tongue.” You follow his words, loosening your jaw and Eren dips his head to suck on it before he encloses his lips around yours. “Now let’s see what that pretty fucking mouth can do.” His voice trickles smoothly like honey.
Eren skims his hand over your throat before he reaches up. His thumb glides along your lips while his other four hold you firmly by the jaw. You dart out your tongue, swirling it around his tip before you close your lips prettily around it.
“That’s it,” he murmurs, “Treat it like how you’re gonna treat my fucking cock.”
You moan around his thumb, sucking it a few times before you let it slide out of your mouth. Eren slaps you again, and you titter even when it stings. He plunges his third and fourth fingers into your mouth, pushing them as deep as he can until his knuckles graze your upper lip.
“Don’t choke.” He tilts up his chin haughtily. “Hold it in. You’re a big girl, aren’t you, baby?”
He’s throwing your words back at you. You almost laugh. This fucking bitch.
He’s thrusting his fingers inside your mouth so strongly, it’s almost impossible not to gag but you try your best not to. Your breathing rags when he has his other hand pulling on his belt again, its leather constricting around your throat.
“Keep your eyes on me,” Eren says, smiling both coquettishly and condescendingly when he sees your eyes start to water. “You’re gonna cry, Sweetheart?”
He snatches his fingers away, a thick string of drool dripping down your chin. Your chest is heaving up and down as you cough, which makes Eren simper at the sight. You’re beginning to look wrecked with your lipstick smeared to your cheek and he loves it.
Not wanting to lose, you slide your hand down his chest to the bulge inside his pants. “Why don’t you close your damn mouth for a second, and use this on me instead?”
“I’m glad you asked.”
He unzips his pants, pushing them low enough until he can free himself. Eren, just like Jean, is above normal size. He might be an inch shorter than him, but he has more girth, more pretty veins on the side. It’s already leaking pre-cum from all your teasing, twitching when he feels your warm breath caressing his head. He skims his tip against your lips, tracing the shape of your conceited smile.
“Well, well, well,” you snicker, taking him in your hand and giving him slow, lazy pumps. “Guess you’re not as small as I thought you were.” You reward him with a kiss on his tip. “Still not as long as Jean’s though, which is disappointing.”
Eren has had enough. He can handle your teasing, he can handle the temptation in your gaze, but he can only do it for so long. Without warning, he flips you over, bringing you down until your spine is pressed flat against the sheets, your head dangling over the edge. He slaps the side of his cock against your mouth. “Let’s see if you can still use your mouth after this.” And he pushes in, sliding past your lips and teeth, aiming to hit the back of your throat without waiting for you to adjust. You gag around his length and he can see the way your throat is contracting. It’s beautiful. He doesn't have to imagine—he can vividly see where he is inside your mouth, how far he is down your throat.
“Gonna fuck your mouth now, Princess,” he warns, his tone filled with nothing but mockery. “You better watch your teeth.”
He thrusts forward, one hand still gripping tightly around the belt while his other one takes possession of your breast. You try to relax your jaw as much as you can, eyes shut close with a frown breaking on your temple. Your nose flares as you try to breathe, his testicles smacking against your face with every thrust. It’s the first time someone has ever face-fucked you upside down, and although it frightens you, it also sparks thrill on your skin.
Eren releases you only when he feels you tapping your hands against his thigh, unable to breathe. Coughing, you turn back to your stomach, panting frantically for air. He goes down to his knees, bringing two fingers under your chin to lift your face. Now that your faces are on the same level, he can see hot tears painting your eyes, smudging your mascara. His fingertips are delicate on your cheek, nothing like the way he moved his hips earlier. "You okay?" he asks.
Your vision is too blurry to see the genuinely concerned look on his face. Catching your breath, you try to keep your cocky demeanor in check. “That's all you got, Daddy?”
Your remark stuns him but then his eyes darken. Smiling too innocently to be real, Eren rises back to his feet. He tosses the rest of his clothes to the floor, pitching his voice a little louder when he says, "You're ready for more, Horseface?”
Of course, he is. Jean has been dying to take part in the game again. He's been watching you all the time, observing the way your body jerk with almost every thrust of Eren’s sinful hips. But Jean has always been the more mature one, hasn't he? Kinder, too. “Don’t you need to take a break?” He asks you, and Eren scoffs at the question. You answer with, “No, I don’t,” at the same time as he replies, “No, she doesn’t.”
And that settles it.
Seven minutes later, you have Jean lying underneath you with his cock pulsating deep inside you. You’re bouncing on his lap, your breasts mimicking the motion when they're not caught under Jean's hands. Eren is kneeling right beside his head, stuffing his mouth with his cock. You can feel Jean’s hold around your hips tighten when Eren slides his hand to the back of his skull, taking a handful of his ash-brown hair. “How do you like my cock in your mouth, Leader?” He husks. “Every time you open those pretty lips of yours all I can think about is making you gag around my cock.”
You can feel Jean jolting inside you. Mirroring the expression Eren has on his face, you ask the taller male a question. “Oh, so you like it?” You chime in with a lopsided smile. “You like being talked down like this, don’t you? How very surprising. The charismatic leader of AXIS likes to be degraded in bed.”
Jean blushes, about to move his face away but Eren keeps him still. “I knew those lips would look pretty around my dick," he breathes out, "Look at you taking it in like a fucking whore.” He emphasizes his last words with a string of hard thrusts, making Jean moan harder around his length. Eren throws his head back, drowning in bliss. “Oh, fuck—your mouth feels so good—wanna fill you up with my fucking cum, Jean.”
“What about me?” you shoot him an impish grin, garnering Eren’s attention back to you.
“Don’t worry, Sweetheart, you’ll get your turn,” he promises you with a wink. Wrapping the belt around his hand again, he pulls you close. You lean forward in reflex with your hands resting on Jean’s chest, lips meeting Eren’s halfway as he circles his other hand around your throat. “I’m gonna stuff your mouth with my cock again right after we’re finished with him.” Eren takes your lower lip between his teeth. “Gonna cum down your throat so hard, you’re gonna remember how I taste for weeks.”
“Mmm, yes, Daddy.” You grind your hips, biting back a moan when Jean’s pelvis rubs against your clit. Your walls flutter around his cock, robbing a low groan from his throat.
Jean suddenly lifts you by your waist, raising you as high as he can in the air so he can slide himself out of you. Orgasm hits him like the storm and he reaches his high with thick white strings splattering all over his stomach. You blink in surprise, exchanging stares with Eren who is just as startled. Then you both laugh.
Releasing himself from Jean’s mouth, Eren chuckles, “That’s the second time you’ve cummed tonight, Horseface,” he mocks, perceiving the way Jean drapes his arm over his face, hoping that it would be enough to conceal his rosy cheeks.
“Shut up,” he hisses back, deeply mortified.
“What, you can’t even hold it in for ten minutes?” Eren taunts, trading giggles with you. “Have you ever satisfied your women in bed? Seems like to me you don't know how to fuck—”
“Oh my fucking God—” Jean abruptly sits on the bed, almost making you stumble off his lap. You’re still laughing quietly when you try to soothe him down with a kiss.
Eren swipes two fingers across Jean’s stomach, coating his pads with his essence. "Come on," he invites you. "It's only fair."
Rolling your eyes, you bring your face closer to his, darting out your tongue. Eren smears Jean's cum all over your lips and tongue but he smashes his lips against yours so he can share the taste. Jean watches with his face flushed, unprepared to see what's happening before him.
Eren, even though he was so harsh with him before, kneels behind the taller male and wraps his arms around his shoulders from behind.
“It’s okay, Horseface,” he whispers right next to his ear, taking his earlobe between his teeth. “Perhaps you just need some practice. Now sit tight and watch.” Eren’s eyes seem to glow as they catch yours. “I’m gonna teach you how to fuck your woman.”
“Am I your woman, Mr. Jaeger?” You tease him as he meets you in the middle of the bed. You share a kiss, a little too sweet than intended, but you know it’s only a taste of what’s coming.
“For the night.” Eren slides his hand between your legs, talented fingers playing with your clit. “You know, for the little devil that you are, you do have a pretty cunt.” You spread your thighs to let him probe his fingers over your entrance. He rubs his digits around your hole, coating them with your juices before he retracts his hand. Keeping his eyes on yours, he sucks on his fingers. He hums in content, sending shivers down your spine with how sensual he’s being. “Taste fucking sweet too.”
You’re at your limit. This sexual tension between you and him needs to be released. You hate to admit it, but you’ve been wanting him for much longer than you thought. Even way before you started this job. You clamp your fingers around his wrist, stopping him. “No more foreplay.”
His eyes glint in desire. “Then, say it. Say that you want me.”
You take a deep breath, your patience thinning. “I want you.”
The satisfaction in his smile has never been this crystal clear. “All right.” He kisses you softly, tongue slowly pushed in and plundered. “Let’s give him a show he won’t forget, shall we?”
But his next move is anything but soft. He turns you over, slamming your body down to the bed, and keeping your face pressed against the sheets as he rests the heel of his palm between your shoulder blades. He smacks your behind—once, twice—leaving burning handprints on your skin. “Ass in the air, baby girl.”
You hiss in both pain and excitement as you get into position. He’s being as rough as always as if the sweet kisses you just shared with him a few seconds ago were nothing but your imagination. You follow his order, lift your hips, and Eren positions himself behind you. He spits into his palm, lathering his cock before he lets his tip glide against your folds. “I think I’ve made you cry twice before.” He bends forward, murmuring the words against the skin that covers your spine. “But you keep denying that you didn’t.”
“Because that’s the truth,” you heckle him.
“Well then,” he pushes in, burying himself inside you right to the hilt. You almost mewl, taken aback by the friction. You can feel the smirk in his voice when he says, “I’m just gonna have to fuck you hard until you sob out my name, aren’t I?”
When he starts to move, he leaves you gasping. He’s not as big as Jean but he stretches you and fills you in a way that makes you twist your fingers against the sheets. He pumps into you, furiously, groaning in rapture, and building on the shockwaves that already coursed through your body ever since your encounter with Jean. But Eren takes you higher, letting you experience something new—this emotional wrenching, this surge of pleasure and passion, all wrapped into one writhing mess of bodies slick with heat.
“Fuck!” you cry out. Have you ever been fucked this hard before? You don't think you have. If you had, you sure as hell would've remembered it.
Eren steals your hand away from holding you up on the bed. He pins your wrist against your spine, driving himself harder into you. He’s rubbing against your insides so perfectly, that even if he’s not hitting your G-spot just right, it feels like he is even with the slightest sway of his hips.
“That’s right, baby,” he chuckles between heavy breaths, hearing you keen. “That’s more like it.”
The fact that you still feel so fucking tight after taking Jean’s cock inside you makes him ferocious. He leans forward to sink his teeth in the juncture of your neck, making your muscles taut from the pain. With a filthy smile, Eren straightens his back, grabs your other hand, and pins them together behind your back. He keeps them that way, his hand large enough to hold your wrists together. You're whimpering with your forehead planted on the bed, but not for long.
Wanting to take a step further, Eren launches his other hand forward, finding home in your strands before he yanks harshly on the roots. “Ah—” Your eyes are fixated on the ceiling, your hands restrained against your back as Eren propels forward in one hard slam of his hips, hitting your deepest part. He doesn’t give you a chance to breathe—a chance to do anything. He just keeps fucking you like he owns you. And maybe he does, for the night, at least.
You’re close. You’re so close, your body is shaking. “Eren—”
“I know, baby, I know,” he chuckles, picking up his pace. His thrust turns shallow but it’s precisely because of that, that you feel the knots inside your stomach tightening. “God, you feel so fucking good—”
“Ren, I’m gonna cum—”
“Yeah?” He breaks away, flipping you over to your back. You’re whining from the loss. Just a few more thrusts and you would’ve cummed all over his cock. But Eren knew that, that’s why he didn’t.
“I fucking hate you,” you mutter harshly, watching him glide his cock over your folds, slapping it against your clit. It’s so sensitive that your whole body jerk at the sensation.
Eren titters. “How do you like being edged, baby?”
“Eren—damn it—just fuck me.”
“Only if you beg.” His grin was devilish, which suited him so well. “You know how to beg, don’t you, baby girl?”
You almost snarl. He has you right where he wants you. If you had more patience, you would tease him a little more, giving him the taste of his own medicine. But it’s been over an hour—probably two or three, you've lost count—since you started touching each other and you’ve never felt your body aching this much for a release. “Please,” you whisper through gritted teeth.
“What was that, love?” He heard you. You know he did. He just wanted to see your dignity breaking to pieces.
“Please!”
“Please what?”
“Please let me cum—ah!” Eren rams himself back in before you can finish, throwing your legs over his shoulders, folding your body in half. His thumb finds your clit, rubbing his digit vigorously around your sensitive nub. The stimulation is too much and you find yourself sobbing out his name, just like he wants you to.
"Eren, fuck, please, please, please, I want to cum."
It’s beautiful the way you moan it, better than anything he'd imagined, making him feel a thousand things at once. “Ah,” he rasps, releasing a breath as his half-lidded eyes gleam in satisfaction. “Finally.”
And he lets you cum on his cock, lets you clench and unclench your walls around him, lets you surrender in his arms. Your entire body convulses, not accustomed to the intensity of pleasure that hit you at once. Eren doesn’t stop—he won’t, not yet. Your mind reels from the overstimulation, your body still quivering.
You expect him to not care and continuously fuck you hard until he finds his own release. But Eren slows down his pace, sliding your legs down from his shoulders and letting them ensnare his waist. When you part your lips to him, he touches you with his tongue and he moans your name, softly like a soulmate would do. His lips, for the first time, feel real. Honest. Sweet.
Maybe it’s because you’re still drowning in delirium that your mind starts to build fantasies on its own. Because right now, you’re imagining that this would be how he would kiss you if you were his lover. The way your bodies complete each other, the way he whispers your name with his lips brushing against your ear, the way he calls you, "Beautiful. You're so beautiful. I want you to belong to me. Want to make you mine.”
Or maybe it's simply because you've just been denying yourself for so long. This attraction between you, this tension, and the electricity that zaps through your body—what if they all mean something more?
Eren keeps your mouths attached as he slowly regains his pace. “I’m close,” he grunts, sinking his face in the crook of your neck. “Fuck, baby, I want to cum inside you.”
That’s maybe why you find yourself sighing out his name, winding your arms around his shoulders, and taking the shell of his ears between your lips. “Then, do it. I want to feel you inside me, Eren. I want to feel all of you.”
And he does, his low groan painting the side of your neck, his fingers lacing around yours as he drags your hand over your head. He’s panting hard, his hips losing their rhythm. You wrap your legs tighter around his waist, your free hand slipping between his strands, accidentally unfastening his hair tie as you card your fingers through them. His locks fall to frame his cheeks and he presses his temple against yours as he catches his breath. When your hand rests on his upper arm, you can feel the quivers that run through his muscles.
“Did it feel good?” You ask him, and for the first time that night—or perhaps, ever since you met him—your smile is heartfelt, glazed with affection, tender with adoration.
He returns it with his own lips curving upwards, just as sweet, just as soft. He kisses you once, languid and chaste. “It felt amazing. You?”
“Don’t get cocky, but…” You wind your arms around his neck, playing with the baby hair on his nape. “That’s probably one of the best orgasms I’ve ever had.”
Eren beams back with a smile that is just as youthful as his face. “I’m glad.” He bends his head down, nuzzling the tip of his nose against yours. “Hey, what if we go get—”
“Yo, asswipe!”
Jean’s voice strikes like thunder, snapping you both awake from whatever it was that shrouded you. You’ve completely forgotten that he was there, watching you the whole time.
Eren breaks away from you, turning his head over toward the man who’s leaning his back against the headboard, lounging. Jean throws his hand in the air. “What the fuck was that?”
The shorter male clears his throat. Maybe Jean can’t see it from where he is, but being this close to you, you can see the flush that blooms on Eren’s cheeks. “And that,” Eren says, trying his best to display his arrogant smirk but he’s not fooling anyone in the room. “—is how you fuck your women.”
“No,” Jean snorts. “That’s how you made sweet, sweet love to your girlfriend, you pretentious asshole.”
Your face bursts in flames. Eren probably does too. “Shut up, Jean, you want me to fuck you instead? Maybe that’ll teach you a lesson.”
“I think I’ve had enough of your dick, thank you,” Jean grimaces, sticking out his tongue. His eyes drift toward you, frowning when he sees you unfastening the belt from around your throat, unwinding it in the air as you shift closer to him. “What are you doing?”
“Considering Eren is a bad teacher.” You’re much better than the brunette in concealing your emotions. “I’m thinking about teaching you a lesson myself.” Eren blinks in confusion before his realization sinks in. Then, he smiles. Wicked and smug.
Jean shudders, both in horror and excitement, as you spread the belt between your hands. Eren drapes his arm around your shoulder. Both of you look casual, but the question you’re asking is anything but.
“So how do you feel about being tied up, Leader?”
***
Smokes fill the air as you're lying down on the bed. Your body is still bare from head to toe, skin glistening with sweat. You're savoring the aftertaste of your orgasm, nestled between the two men with your bedcover draping over the bottom half of your bodies.
Eren, just like Jean, is lying on his back, his key-shaped pendant rests above his heart. He takes a drag of his cigarette before he passes it to you and lets you do the same. You mirror his action before you hand it over to Jean.
"So that was wild," Eren comments, breaking the silence.
Jean inhales around his cigar, blowing puffs of smoke to paint the air. “I've had wilder nights.”
“Shut the fuck up, bro, you cummed, like, four times.”
Jean's long arm stretches past you, smacking Eren hard on his chest. "Three!"
You giggle, the sound feels like music to their ears and a couple of seconds later, they share your laughter. “Man, I’m glad they hired you,” Jean says, staring fondly at you.
You scrunch your nose cutely at him. “You certainly didn’t think that way when we first met.”
“Well, I’ve changed my mind.”
“Great. I’m only gonna be your assistant for another week, though.”
“What?” It's Eren who replies, turning around to face you with his body props by his elbow. “Why?”
“Cause I’m tired of your shits." He pouts at your answer. Stifling a laugh, you retrieve the cigarette back from Jean's hand. “Come on now, Eren, we both know you aren’t a pleasure to work with." Jean snickers at your comment but you quickly silence him with, "Neither are you, Genius.”
"Not a pleasure?" Eren, despite his age and the attitude he showcased a few minutes ago, only pouts harder. “Didn’t I just make you cum, though? Like, four times?”
You wish you could correct him like Jean did but no, that's about right. "S-shut up."
When silence comes to sit like an old friend, the three of you are musing over the same thoughts in a slightly different way. “Well, then..." Jean pauses. "What’s gonna happen now?”
“Keep it between us and move on, what else?” You voice out, handing over the cigarette to the brunette. Eren sulks, even in a more childish way than Armin does. Somehow, after what happened, he becomes much more expressive. And you wonder if he had always been like this from the start but you hadn't been able to notice this side of him until now. “Now, now, boys," you say. "No need to look so upset. You’ll find another set of boobs tomorrow, I’m sure.”
"Yeah, okay," Jean snorts, brooding in his own way.
“A week,” Eren states, startling you both. “We still got a week, right? There’s still a lot amount of sex we can do until then.”
You're left dumbfounded before you titter, “That’s true, I guess. No strings attached?”
Eren, chewing on his lip, slides his hand underneath the cover, moving it closer to yours. You feel his pinky grazing tentatively against your own before you lay out your palm and he intertwines your fingers with his. Smiling sheepishly to himself, he says, "No strings attached."
You feel your heart warmed by the sight. Averting your gaze to see the other man, you toss him the same question. "What about you, Mr. Kirstein? Are you in?"
He dramatically sighs, shrugging. “Well, I mean, if you insist."
And when you laugh, Eren can taste it with his lips. When you drift away to sleep, Jean protects you with his arms.
And tomorrow...
Well, let's see what happens next.
***
This was long as fuck I'm so sorry, but hey HC time!
imagine idol ren dancing like this:
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His outfits on the stage:
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This video right here is literally how I imagine idol!ren to look like (the hair, the outfit, the way he dances, his expressions, his BODY ROLLS)
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Idol!Jean's solo stage be like (is this magic mike LMAO):
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The kind of fanservice EreJean do on stage:
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Giving my biggest thanks and kisses to Sandra, Joli, Coi and Ben for reading this for me beforehand and giving me input/feedback as always. I love you girls ❤️❤️❤️
Tagging:
@l6ffys @vivi-et @halparkebitch @fwess @littlemochi @thebeardedmoon @didiyogo @coyloves @erenbean @tehehebri @justasketch @infnteen @naiomiwinchester @spiderlingh @doyochii @ahornyenby @aengelren @sakurashell @the-princess-button @resonancesoul @blrqt @cacapeepee @persyhange @jaegersdiary @erentoes @trashgremlin36 @meed18 @j0livi0ni @snowflake-201 @jaymihawk @eva-gates @claudevonstrukesblog @sofijaeger @rinsie @blanccofiie @ereninbunu @natanialora @khinjito @ackersune @watermelon-online @tropicsoda @claudevonstrukesblog @damselofblueroses @alexackrman @bblgumz @jurrasicpork @erenjaegercult Thanks for reading, lovelies ❤️
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httperen · 2 months ago
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𝐒𝐄𝐗, 𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐘, 𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒, 𝐃𝐈𝐄.
rich!ceo! eren x reader texts.
warnings: suggestive (nsfw), black coded reader, fem! reader, eren’s an asshole but we love him
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have a good day/night!!! hope u enjoyed 💕
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darlingdaph · 2 months ago
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. . . [ METAL CONCERT WITH EREN ]
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warnings: gn! reader, mentions of eating, pet names – sfw.
notes: a bit random, but the idea of bf eren taking care of you at a concert is just so <333. he’s smitten. comments and reblogs are especially appreciated (ᵒ̴̶̷᷄ ᵕ ᵒ̴̶̷᷅ )
wk: 0.7k | m.list | header @/thisuserisalive on instagram |
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going to a concert with eren would be so fun :(
you surprised him with two tickets to his favorite band as a birthday gift. it cost you an arm and a leg after waiting hours in the queue line but was all worth it to see your big n “scary” boyfriend giddy with disbelief.
“no fucking way! oh my god– c'mere! i love you, i love you, i love you-“
fully expected him to bring one of his metalhead friends along -that is why you bought two tickets after all- though eren never even considers asking zeke or mikasa to join him, for he's far too adamant on taking you instead.
“what d'ya mean ‘am I sure’? ‘course I’m taking you, babe.”
the most prepared concertgoer there is. eren is a music fanatic and has frequented concerts since his early teens thanks to zeke. with a fair share of experience under his belt, he knows exactly how to make the downside of concerts more manageable. it might be his favorite band, but he wants you to have fun too! :(
brings noise-canceling headphones to protect your ears. eren knows the music can get fucking loud, especially when on the floor close to the speakers. while his eardrums are already partial to damage from prior years of concert-going, he doesn't want to chance you developing tinnitus or hearing loss.
buys those ridiculously overpriced water bottles despite protests that you're fine, reasoning – “can’t have my pretty baby suffering dehydration under my watch.”
keeps you in front of him the entire show. eren takes advantage of his broad height and practically forms a wall around you, tugging you back into his chest while snug arms anchor around your waist. the poor boy is so anxious about losing sight of you, it's pathetic. even if you assure him you weren't planning on wandering around anytime soon, eren just prefers to hold you close to him, okay? :(  
stands at the outer edges of the pit to watch the show, away from any tight crowds and potential shoving. you ask if he wants to go mosh when his favorite song comes on, promising you’ll be fine where you are, but he declines with a scrunched face and a shake of his head. “where’s the fun in that? I’d rather be with you.”
will take swaying you in his arms over moshing with a group of sweaty strangers any day.
offers to leave early toward the end of the show to beat the crowd. “I don’t need to see the last song, it’s okay if you want to dip.” you argue something about getting your money's worth and eren spends the last few songs with his big ol' head hooked over your shoulder to watch with you :((
gives you a piggyback ride back to the car. as fun as it was, standing on your feet for 4 hours at a time is never without consequences, and eren is far too happy for any opportunity to show off his strength.
stops at a drive-through on the way home. it’s past midnight and nothing is open beside the 24/7 fast food joints. gets fries to share and nearly shoots soda out his nose when he catches you shoveling a generous handful into your mouth.
 “what? stop laughing at me 'ren! I'm hungry–“ “I know, I know, you just looked like a chipmunk, that’s all.”
turns the music down to pleasant background noise once the food is finished and put away and your eyes start to droop watching the street lights pass out the window. 
“thank you for tonight, baby.”
you hum a drowsy “you're welcome”, compelling eren to spare the passenger seat a glance as you slowly lose the fight against sleep.
before you completely slip away, a warm and familiar hand finds purchase at the nape of your neck, giving a soft squeeze whilst a kiss is pressed to the side of your head. “love you, sweetheart.”
 you hope eren can understand the garbled “love you too” in return but aren't offered the chance to check before you’re fast asleep. 
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-ˋˏ ➴ ♡ ˎˊ-
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