jason: i'm too drunk to drive

dick: you were the one to get me drunk, so i can't drive

tim: man i am high as a kite right now, i don't think I'm fit to drive unless it's to the wendy's drive-thru, its the only route i know by heart

jason, dick, and tim looking over to 12 year old damian:

damian: i shall be your designated driver just this once

i love the idea of the batfam wearing each other's merch cause like. i know they'd be petty about it. usually they'd wear their siblings merch in (kinda) equal rotations, but they'd change it up depending on sibling squabbles or sibling favours. Tim, walking into the kitchen in a Red Hood shirt: Dick: TIM!? Tim: what Dick: it's Tuesday. you always wear Nightwing merch on Tuesdays. Tim: oh. Tim: you stole my last granola bar, last week. Steph, looking for something in Jason's room: JASON WHY DO YOU HAVE EVERYONE'S MERCH BUT MINE?! Jason, peeking into the room: i have your merch. in the trash. Steph: WHY Jason: you hit me with a blue shell in mario kart last game night. i'm never forgiving you. Damian, sporting a full-on Red Robin hoodie: Tim: woah. what brought this on? you usually only exclusively wear Batman or Nightwing merch Damian: you helped me take that splinter out of Alfred's paw yesterday. Richard on the other hand has recently messed up my painting palette. Dick, from the other room: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! Damian: he'll get over it. Cass, wearing Nightwing merch for the 5th day in a row: Jason: goddamn. what did Dickie do to get in your good graces like this? Cass, smiling: he made me a flower crown Jason: ... that's it? Cass: it was a very nice flower crown. Dick, buying seven Signal shirts: One for everyone. Duke, behind him: Dick, you really don't-- Dick: shhhh, sunshine. everyone will love your new merch. (they all wore exclusively Signal merch for a week straight) Bruce isn't allowed to change up his rotation or not wear someone's merch because he immediately gets accused of playing favourites. He'd rather keep some of his sanity, thank you.

HEEHEEHEE….

Part 2 👇

[Jason panic searching his room]

Jason: "WHERE IS IT?!"

Tim : "what is *it*?

Jason: "You would know if saw it! Just help me look!"

Dick: "Hey, let's just calm down. What are we looking for?"

Jason: "I bought home an injured snake yesterday on patrol and I was planning on dropping it off at the vet today."

Dick: "that's not so bad."

Jason: "If Damian finds it we're going to have a pet snake. And you're the only one he would trust to feed it."

[Jason, Dick and Tim frantically searching the manor.]

Meanwhile

[Damian in the cave full Robin costume with snake around his shoulders - Maniacal laughter.]

Bruce suddenly sits straight up in his seat in the watch tower, a full body shiver taking over him.

Bruce: "Somethings wrong"

I know I posted some of these but here a version without text.

Further explanation: here

no, jason did not have a fun patrol, and no he will not stop ranting about it, and yes he does want some comfort cookies, shut up!

inspired by a comedy bit! (timestamp 17:45)

Jason [after a rough patrol with Damian]: Huh, that was fun! Wanna go for a drink?

Damian: Akhi, I’m 16

Jason: Wait, seriously?

Jason: Damn, I was convinced you were 12

dick: Hey guys, what are you watching? damian: Kitten Football. dick: Why? damian: It’s randomly came on and now I’m invested. And then jason came in and got into it too. Aw, look Snuggles fell asleep- jason: SNUGGLES, WAKE THE HELL UP AND GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME, DAMNIT! dick:?! damian: jason sees the show differently than I do.

Dick and Jason are the type of siblings to have a literal fucken fist fight, and then the next day they’ll be like:

Dick, showing up to Jason’s apartment and handing him a book he borrowed: hey so I finished it. Can I borrow the next one in the series?

Jason, going to get the next book: yeah, word. What’d you think by the way

And then not even a week later, they’re back to fighting again.

Like this is their version of sending tiktoks or texting a fucken game of 8-ball immediately after a spat.

I drew a guest art for finch's artbook

Batfam + co headcanons

- Jason dyes his hair black, but can’t seem to dye back the white streak

- His eyes use to be more brown, but after his dip in the Lazarus pit, they are a dark green

- The Al Ghul’s are similar in that aspect - Ra’s and Talia both have naturally brown eyes and Damian’s blue, but they’re now a vibrant green, reflecting the amount of time they’ve spent in the pit

- Ra’s eyes are the most unsettling, they’re the exact color of the pit water

- Damian has an accent

- Dick does too, but it’s much harder to pinpoint because of how much he’s traveled

- Damian calls Bruce ‘Baba’, but only after he disappeared. Before that it was just ‘Father’

- Tim is supposed to wear glasses, but he tends to forget them and his contacts so his mask is built to compensate. However, he is forever squinting during board meetings at Wayne Enterprises

- Jason and Bruce have the same thinking face but nobody would willingly call it out

- Alfred could definitely kill any of the rogue gallery, but he doesn’t out of respect of Bruce’s values

- Initially, Bruce would get annoyed when Tim would bring YJ into the batcave/manor, but he’s slowly begun to expect it

- He did get tired of finding Bart in his good chair though, so now he has a special one beside it (everyone knows it’s for Bart, but Bruce would rather be caught dead than admit that)

- Duke gets along really well with Bart and Wally, and Bruce feels a headache forming every time they’re together

- Cass is Wally’s favorite out of Dick’s siblings. More often than not, he talks way too fast for her to catch more than a few words, but she’s such an attentive listener that he forgets

- Stephanie and Jason aren’t allowed to be in a room together without supervision because they kept getting into fistfights (she antagonizes him as a hobby)

- When Damian needs time to think, he goes down to the barn to sit with Batcow because nobody ever checks for him there. They always assume he’s off training

- Duke brings out Damian’s childish nature in the best ways, and they’re almost as close as Damian is with Dick

- They pester each other a lot, but then fall asleep watching movies together (true brothers fr)

- The entirety of the batfam refuses to watch superhero movies because they’re “inaccurate”

- Jason and Diana have a genuine bond, and it only grows stronger when he comes back, even if she does get disappointed with his actions. She’s like the mom he never had

- Clark always says he doesn’t have favorites out of the younger generation, but it’s secretly Tim. He appreciates all that he does for Kon (Dick is still his favorite Robin tho)

- Alfred doesn’t make certain recipes anymore because they were something he used to make with Jason, and it upsets him to make them without his assistant

- Tim cannot for the life of him match his clothes, like Adam Sandler type of style

PART 4!

Part 5 👇

Part 3 👇

Jason: *wondering how he got suckered into taking these hooligans for lunch*

Damian: *mad as hell Tim beat him to the front seat*

Tim: *smug as hell knowing Damian is fuming in the back seat right now*

Dick: “MCDONALDS MCDONALDS MCDONALDS”

Bro I slayed frfr, I'm actually in love with that drawing of Tim he's so pretty, also I really need a new signature cause that one is awful:D