ditzybat
(๑•ૅㅁ•๑)
cleo, she/her, 16just a silly lil dude who’s brain is rotting with dc headcanons and incorrect quotes
110 posts
Last active 2 hours ago
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Last Seen Blogs
coughcoughkafka
My Dog Ate My Talent
ibc-irinterior
Untitled
ships-francais
Les ships Français
universallycollectorblr-blog
Untitled
kimyoonkwon
kimyoonkwon
Text
bernard: ooh is that your portfolio for your photography class? can i see?
tim: yeah sure
bernard: …
bernard: dude, this just a selfie of robin, how did you get this?
tim, who got artist block and ran out of ideas (aka was benched and wasn’t allowed to take candids of the rest of the bats for his final): uhhhhhhhhh
272 notes
·
View notes
Text
hc that jason had the worlds worst smokers cough, popcorn lung wheeze, and lawnmower dad snore known to man before he died, and when he came back from the pits his lungs healed and begins the cycle of smoking a pack a day for no other reason than that he truly believes that if the joker can’t take him out a plant rolled in paper wont either.
#i know that helmet smells rank from his cigarette breath#alfred and cass team up and give him disappointed looks and all of a sudden he eats dum dums like its the worlds best thing#dc#jason todd#robin#red hood#batman#batfam
154 notes
·
View notes
Text
the lego batman movie reads like it was written by jason and tim mocking bruce and dick, like you can’t tell me the batjokes isnt there to piss bruce off, courtesy of tim, or the whole scaly panties thing isn’t jason making fun of the robin uniform
#dc#lego batman#jason todd#tim drake#robin#red robin#red hood#bruce wayne#dick grayson#batman#batjokes#batfam
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
jason unironically listens to jojo siwas new song as a pre patrol hype song, can’t convince me otherwise, so imagine you’re getting your shit rocked by the red hood and all of a sudden he’s just humming karmas a bitch while putting a bullet in your kneecap.
202 notes
·
View notes
Text
tim hosting a DARE assembly at school: i will avoid peer pressure and drugs and try my best to prevent others from ruining my happiness. i am and will continue to be drug-free.
bernard: i saw you hit a blinker in the bathroom before this.
tim: shhhhh, bear i'll let you hit my cart if you keep your trap shut…
tim: sweet dog you got there.
gordon: yes, this is our new drug-sniffing dog.
tim: still training huh?
gordon: red robin.. what do you mean?
tim: ...
tim: nevermind...
7K notes
·
View notes
Text
I want less of "the Drakes were terrible people and parents and Bruce rescues poor sad Timmy" (not knocking the trope it just got old for me)
And more of Bruce suffering a hell of his own creation as he tries to figure out how to parent Timothy "latchkey kid" Drake, who doesn't respect the concept of having parental supervision in general and more specifically Bruce's authority as his new guardian at all, because Tim was basically his caretaker for the entire beginning of his tenure as Robin
Any kind of Parental Action would have Bruce choking in his own hypocrisy. Like... imagine trying to get your teenage son to go to bed when he's been putting your ass down for naps for like, years, by that point. Imagine telling him to eat healthier when at 13 years old he was helping your butler with designing your meal plan 'cause you were too depressed to eat
Bruce gently tries to get him to stop working on a case to take a break, and Tim raises a single withering eyebrow (he learned this from Alfred) and Bruce immediately shuts up. Tim only listens to Bruce when he wants to and being legally adopted by the man hasn't changed that
(And I want fics of the rest of the batfam reacting to this dynamic soooooooo bad)
8K notes
·
View notes
Text
damian: you bumbling bafoon! never in my life have i met such a -
jason: big words considering i fucked your mom.
dick: YOU DID WHAT?!
jason: oops
#tim: huh - like father like son ig#dc#damian wayne#jason todd#dick grayson#tim drake#robin#red hood#nightwing#red robin#talia al ghul
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
tim: sweet dog you got there.
gordon: yes, this is our new drug-sniffing dog.
tim: still training huh?
gordon: red robin.. what do you mean?
tim: ...
tim: nevermind...
#he has a blunt in his utility belt he plans to share with spoiler later#and a cart#and perhaps a guava ice lost mary that he hits whenever bruce isnt looking - its like a game#stoner tim drake my beloved#dc#tim drake#james gordon#robin#red robin#batman#batfam#bruce wayne#spoiler#stephanie brown
7K notes
·
View notes
Text
REVERSE TROPE WRITING PROMPTS
Too many beds
Accidentally kidnapping a mafia boss
Really nice guy who hates only you
Academic rivals except it’s two teachers who compete to have the best class
Divorce of convenience
Too much communication
True hate’s kiss (only kissing your enemy can break a curse)
Dating your enemy’s sibling
Lovers to enemies
Hate at first sight
Love triangle where the two love interests get together instead
Fake amnesia
Soulmates who are fated to kill each other
Strangers to enemies
Instead of fake dating, everyone is convinced that you aren’t actually dating
Too hot to cuddle
Love interest CEO is a himbo/bimbo who runs their company into the ground
Nursing home au
43K notes
·
View notes
Text
one day I’ll finally write that ridiculously elaborate fanfiction that I’ve been carefully constructing in my daydreams for months and then you’ll be sorry. you’ll all be sorry.
66K notes
·
View notes
Text
bernard: i just love true crime, don't you?
tim, trying to impress him: i may or may not be a war criminal with a hypothetical body count in the triple digits who's trained under multiple trained assassins as their apprentice
bernard: ???
#hypothetical because no one addresses the fact that blowing up all those LoA bases meant blowing up all those people inside too#tim: i'm non-lethal by choice don't worry#bernard: i love you but that doesn't sound like non-lethal babe#dc#tim drake#bernard dowd#timbern#robin#red robin#league of assassins
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
jason: so what did i miss while i was dead? besides the whole replacement thing
tim: … jay, i don’t how to tell you this, but jenni rivera died
jason: NOT JENNI NOOO
#he sobbed for an hour#jason: all good music dies with her#tim: well i actually quite enjoy —#jason: ALL good music dies with her.#dc#mexican jason todd#tim drake#jason todd#robin#red robin#red hood
286 notes
·
View notes
Text
i honestly didn’t realize that someone else did a skit like this 😭 this spurred off of a convo i had with friends over YJ cartoon clark and bruce discussing Kon, so any similarities are purely coincidenal
clark, discussing what to do about kon with bruce: you know what this means right?
bruce, nodding: yeah, you owe luthor a buttload of child support
clark: what - i - no??
bruce: i mean, it sucks that he baby trapped you but you don’t want to be a deadbeat
clark: he did not - i am not his father, luthor stole my DNA and put that [pointing at kon] into a tube
bruce: i want you to take one good look on how damian came to be
clark: … oh my rao… i am dead beat aren’t i?
7K notes
·
View notes
Text
jason: at least i don’t have a ducks ass on the back of my head!
dick: my hair is not the problem
tim: unless you’re a lesbian or david bowie, it is
#they hated dicks mullet era#dc#jason todd#tim drake#dick grayson#robin#red hood#nightwing#red robin#batman#batfam#batbros
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
damian: i can excuse murder, but i draw the line at animal cruelty!
dick: you can excuse murder??
985 notes
·
View notes
Text
kon: ugh who died and left you in charge??
tim: there’s actually no way you just said that …
#jason sneezing while chopping a guys head off across the country: hmm#dc#kon el kent#tim drake#robin#red robin#superboy
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
jason: seriously grave robber —
tim: memorial case.
jason: i - hm?
tim: i robbed your memorial case, not your grave silly, you weren’t even in your grave for me to rob it!
jason: wait… did you check??
#tim: perhaps#jason: and you didn’t tell anybody???#tim: didn’t seem relevant#dc#tim drake#jason todd#robin#red robin#red hood#batfam#batman#batbros
8K notes
·
View notes