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qcomicsy · 1 year

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Phrases I bet were said on the Batcave without context.

Duke: So you had enough time to put a dinosaur here but not to cover the endless pit of death?

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Babs (To Dick in the Batman suit): Do not kiss me wearing that it freaks me out.

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Jason: Okay. Got it you have a plan. Great. But before we all follow it I have to ask– is that a fucking cow?

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Damian: I admit. I haven't misplanned how to get Batcow out of the cave.

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Alfred: Master Bruce there's a lot of courage in trying to tell me how to take care of the kid you won't clean up after.

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Tim (to the Jason's memorial): Stop looking at me like that.

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Jason (to the Jason's memorial): Stop looking at me like that.

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Superman (first time there): You know I'm not surprised.

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Bruce (In the middle of a video call with the Justice league and hearing the loudest argument from upstairs): Give me a second.

Bruce: DO NOT MAKE ME GO UP THERE

Silence.

Bruce: As I was saying–

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13 year old Tim: Okay, hear me out– That might sound a little crazy. But what about. . . pants. Same thing, same suit, but with pants

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Bruce (being paranoid): I'm not being paranoid.

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Jason, looking at the Batcomputer: Ever tried to run GTA on this thing?

Tim: You are a danger to society,

Tim: And a coward. Try Skyrim.

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20 something Nightwing visiting: Why are you awake?

15 year old Jason: Why are you dressed as the lost member of the village people?

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Batman: I thought you were on a family vacation.

13 year old Tim: So did my parents– Look at what I found on the Two-Face case.

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dragonpyre · 2 months

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Jason: foster care is just government sanctioned kidnapping

Dick: wait no, you’re right

Tim: that’s why I made a fake uncle

Bruce, tired: no

#Batman #dc #Jason Todd #dick Grayson #Tim Drake #Bruce Wayne #batfamily #batkids #batbros #batsiblings #batfam #text post #incorrect quotes

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yooooodude · 1 month

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Art credit @purble-sarah

#batman #dc comics #dc robin #nightwing #red hood #jason todd #dick grayson #batfam #reductress #incorrect quotes #text post

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superbat-love · 3 months

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Dick: So how has domestic life been for you?

Bruce: Clark and I do not have a domestic life.

Dick: Oh? What about all the times Clark did the laundry?

Bruce: Our suits were contaminated with radioactive or toxic materials.

Dick: Or when you helped to sew his torn clothes?

Bruce: I doubt the local tailor would have Kryptonian-strength needle and thread for his cloak.

Dick: Or that time when he helped you move your stuff?

Bruce: It’s a hassle to send movers to outer space.

Clark: Hey B, I’m home! I’d hug you, but I’m covered in metal swarf from blasting Luthor’s robots today. Hi Dick!

Bruce: Hn, go shower and get changed. Your dinner is on the table.

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bruciemilf · 5 months

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no I'm not biased abt Bruce. Where'd you get that idea

#had an anxiety attack at my pre work training today so that was slay #anyway content!!!!#bruce wayne #dc #dc comics #jason todd #text post #batfamily #dick grayson #alfred pennyworth #damian wayne #tim drake #harley quinn #batfam #incorrect dc quotes

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canigohomenoow · 9 months

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Batfam on Twitter (3)

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fanaticalthings · 2 years

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local billionaire gets cyberbullied by his 15 children

<- Prev

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greenapplebling · 2 months

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Jason: What's up?

Bruce: My blood pressure

Jason: That shit's ever down?

#dc #jason todd #batman #bruce wayne #red hood #batfam #batfamily #incorrect batfamily quotes #batfam incorrect quotes #batkids #batdad #source: inspired by a pukicho post #text #shitpost

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shyjusticewarrior · 1 month

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Tim: "Do you think seahorses write fpreg” and the many other riveting things Bernard texts me right before I go on patrol.

Duke: Do they write it? No. Seahorses are notoriously illiterate. Do they fantasise about it? Perhaps.

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incorrectbatfam · 11 months

Conversation

[texting]

Tim: What if the "g" in "gif" is silent?

Jason: Go the fuck to sleep.

Tim: What gif I don't want to?

Jason: Fuck you.

#source: texts from last night #tim drake #red robin #jason todd #red hood #batfamily #incorrect batfamily quotes #batfam #batboys #batbros #batkids #batsiblings #batman family #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #dc comics #tw swearing

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qcomicsy · 1 year

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Jason: You're Kent's kid right?

Jon Kent, visiting: Yeah? How did you know?

Jason: You look like you were hugged as a child. We don't have a lot of that in here.

Dick: Jon! :D

Jason: Except for him.

#jason todd #dick grayson #batfam incorrect texts

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dragonpyre · 9 months

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Dick: so wait, most of us have died at some point. How come we don’t have white streaks in our hair like Jason?

Tim: maybe it has to do with the Lazarus Pit

Damian: false. Neither Mother nor Grandfather have streaks born of unnatural causes

Steph: maybe it’s cuz he was dead longer

Cass: that doesn’t make sense

Steph: do you have a better idea!?

Jason:

Jason: I have vitiligo, you fucks

#the mystery of Jason’s semi present white streak #dc #DCU #batfamily #batfam #Jason Todd #dick grayson #Damian Wayne #Tim Drake #Stephanie brown #Cassandra Cain #text post #incorrect quotes

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confused-wanderer · 3 months

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Incorrect batfam quotes as things I’ve heard as a college student that definitely fit them:

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Dick: Stop copying me!

Jason: StOp CoPyInG mE!

Dick: Oh my god you’re so annoying

Jason: oh my god you’re so annoying

Dick: I love you

Jason:

Dick: Say it bro

Jason: *booking it to the door*

Dick : SAY IT BACK MOTHERFUCK-

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Barbara: .. wait I’m lost now

Stephanie: Girl I’ve been lost a long time ago

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*while the batboys are doing laundry*

Dick: .. hey Jason?

Jason: yeah?

Dick: I put money and my clothes in the washing machine but it won’t start. Could you try?

Jason *stares at it and gently pries the door open before slamming it shut with such force that it swings open again*

Dick: DONT BREAK IT I PAID FOR THIS MAN

Jason: Hold on lemme try some- *swings harder*

Tim: WHAT ARE YOU DOING IDIOT ??

Washer *beeps and starts washing*

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Duke: ah.. such a peaceful day and gorgeous vie-

*hears screaming in the distance*

Duke: Aaand we’re walking-

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Tim: I’m sorry but could you tell me how to spell your name? I’m trying to save your contact.

Damian: It doesn’t matter.

Tim: Of course it does! I just want to make sure I spell it right.

Damian: No, seriously. It doesn’t matter how you spell it. That’s not even my real name.

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Jason and Damian having breakfast in silence at a restaurant

Damian: so I have a knife in my room.

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Bruce: And there’s this girl in the bathroom who’s been crying there for hours! And I don’t even know who it is, I can just see her shoes

Selina : Wait let’s check it out

Bruce: .. isn’t that an invasion of her privacy?

Selina: you’re no fun… I wonder what’s going on

Bruce: well she was talking to her friend about *insert very oddly specific rant about every microscopic detail*

Selina:

Bruce: ? What?

Selina: ..and youre trashing me for tryna find out who it is.

Bruce: Hey I was debating if I should call out and ask her if she was okay

Selina: Mhmm. Nosy. Imma go check-

Bruce: I have to fill my bottle anyways so I guess I’ll join..

— later —

Harley: and then what happened?

Selina: This mf was waiting for me outside while I found out and then I shooed him away to fill his bottle. And then we both watched as he placed it under the tap only for it to immediately start overflowing

Harley *howling with laughter*

Bruce: IT WAS HALF- EMPTY

Selina: It was FULL

Bruce: ..you’re exaggerating

Selina: Girl be for real you’re just as nosy as I am, that’s why we get along so well~

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superbat-love · 3 months

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Bruce: Why are you kids making such a ruckus this early in the morning?

Damian: Father, the alien is taking too long in the bathroom!

Clark: [singing in the bathroom]

Tim: You’re jumping the queue, demon brat! Get back in line!

Bruce: There are over 20 bathrooms in this house. Why are you all fighting over this one?

Tim: The wifi signal is the strongest here.

Steph: The natural lighting is the best here!

Dick: This one has a jacuzzi!

Damian: I’m your son!

Jason: Because Tim and Damian are here.

Duke: This bathroom’s the least haunted.

Cass: [finishes tying Jason’s and Damian’s shoelaces together]

Bruce: Well this is my bathroom. Go get your own. If you start fighting, no, when you start fighting outside this door, I’m getting Alfred to bring out the water hose. [enters the bathroom and shuts the door behind him]

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bruciemilf · 1 year

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Bruce is painfully Mom coded in a very specific aspect

Bruce: It's a dangerous mission, you're not going. End of discussion.

The bat kids: Or what.

Bruce:

Bruce: ... What?

The Bat Kids: ...Um.

Damian, literally inventing 10 prayers on the spot for them bc he's the youngest and doesn't get in trouble:

#bruce wayne #batdad #incorrect quotes #incorrect batfam quotes #bruce simply smiles and gets quiet when hes angry and it literally makes ppl cry #text

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canigohomenoow · 11 months

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#these are texts taken from conversations i’ve had in real life #i love them your honor #they fight over who’s color is red #i love their bickering #they actually hate each other #they’re all just complex little blorbos to me #they’re so older sister younger brother #batfam incorrect quotes #jason todd #batfam #tim drake #batfamily #dc #red robin #red hood #batkids

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