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#dad shenanigans
diana-daphne · 19 days
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My dad: who would buy something just because a celebrity is in the commercial that’s so stupid
Also my dad when Steve Martin and Martin short are in the commercial:
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✰ about me ✰ ao3 ✰ fic masterpost ✰ send me zosan fic requests<3 ✰ spotify ✰ goodreads ✰
small very tiny intro: Navya, she/her (they/them is chill too) adult, in name if not game fair warning: there are a Lot of spoilers on here (especially one piece since im on my rewatch) a more expansive intro's here
Tagging system was so far non existent, but i'm trying to be a Little bit more organised so here's some tags:
#my beloved - for things i like- art, fanart, some beautiful post etc
#one piece rewatch 2024- the tag im using to tag one piece posts bc im rewatching it
#toe & aftg hell yeah
#things im so fucking grateful for - self explanatory
#letters - for asks
#imp - for things that are important
#save- for. stuff? interchangeable w imp
#whoa (for whoa)
#nav shenanigans- a tag i will be using when ive done something (it could be funny or horrible or something im proud of, def one of those)
#later- for stuff i need to read/ watch later
#avi shenanigans- for stuff my brother does
#cute
#nav rants lowkey- for tiny rants
#nav rants highkey- for major ones (there will be colourful hindi cussing involved in both most times)
#art ref
#achievements
#writing ideas
Links I find important under the cut >:]
Daily click for palestine
Fundraiser masterpost
Resources for palestine, sudan etc
Dealing with executive dysfunction
important reminder wrt creating
Hacks to feel better physically quickly
basic cooking
A bunch of very very important links
Life advice??
expressing frustration
Pain scale, Fatigue scale, mental health pain scale
cute little VERY important writing post
essay writing
i. dont know how to explain this. cat and writing
writing advice
writing fight scenes
more writing advice (imp)
something (writing)
ao3 filter guide more ao3 filtering
how to google effectively
commenting on ao3 when you dont know what to say
murder strut
dealing with worst case scenarios
this blew my mind. multiplying kudos on ao3!!!!!
you can leave FAN ART in the COMMENTS of a fic on ao3
becoming an adult cheatsheet
interesting games to play improv
what to do when you see reposted art without credit
FREE online courses
things to eat when u dont have a lot of food at home
cute pokemon reminder stickers
WRITING NEEDS this looks very promising
stuck on a writing scene
kudos crab for when you need it (to bless ur writing endeavours)
how to format your story, a crash course
bongo cat
resources? for artists i think
cat candleholder
dialogue tags
for writer's block
colour thesaurus!!!!!
writing skin
southern accent
gemstones
CRACK PROMPTS SNDXWS D
how to navigate web pages having paywalls etc
documented historic names
search engine alternatives
pro tip for trans ppl that kinda changed my life
disney + pirating
things u can do on ao3!!!!
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anxiousangerball · 11 months
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Barbie story time
That time I got into trouble because of Barbie:
When I was a little girl - when I was turning maybe 5...maybe 6? Somewhere around then...in the early 1980's. On my birthday, I was given My First Barbie.
She looked something like this:
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Her top is actually like a leotard or one piece swim suit, and she came with a couple of options for her bottoms, so one could mix and match.
The swimsuit, though, had a bit of a trick to finagle it off of her. After I unwrapped my doll and was trying to change her entire outfit, I got stuck trying to get the swimsuit off.
My older sister tired, but couldn't figure it out.
My mom tried, but couldn't figure it out.
My day, who had been watching us struggle, asked if he could try.
He, too, couldn't figure it out.
His biggest mistake was trying to be funny and clown about it. After fiddling with the doll and her outfit, he joked "maybe I should tear her head off."
My dad wouldn't have done that. He wouldn't have. I know that now. But back then, I was a kid and I didn't always clock when he was trying to be funny.
So, I hauled off and kicked him in the shin as hard as I possible could before grabbing my doll back and booking it from the room.
My mom followed me, confiscated my Barbie and wouldn't give her back until after I had apologized to my father.
I am mostly over it, but I resent the fuck out of the fact that *I* had the be the one to apologize, but I heard zero-fuck-all apologies from my dad at the time for his inappropriately timed humor. I'm not sorry I kicked him, and I'd do it again.
So, yeah, I apologized and got my doll back. But I've held on to this story for all of my life and still feel a grim sort of "that wasn't fair, and my dad got exactly what he deserved" attitude about it.
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MY DAD WALKED IN AND SAID IN A HIGH PITCHED VOICE "HI" WHILE STANDING AT MY DOOR WITH TWO WATERMELONS IN HIS SHIRT AS BOOBS
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Bruce being so done with life because none of his kids treat their medical files on the batcomputer with the importance it deserves. And the worst part is, he can't tell if it's on purpose or if they're all Just Like That.
Dick:
He loves his eldest son but for some reason, he refuses to do anything but put down estimated recovery times in his injuries folder. It's usually in the range of "2 weeks" to "48 hours" but that just leaves Bruce worrying about what happened.
One time, he put down 3 months and he nearly had a heart attack till his son called and told him Kor'i had dumped him and that this was how long he was going to be wallowing.
Jason:
Is nice enough to tell him what happened but doesn't add the degree of injury.
So he'll put down "stabbed" but won't elaborate on whether it was a flesh wound or worse. Bruce goes grey very, very early after Jason is on the field.
Tim:
Gives him just the location of the injury and leaves him to guess what happened.
Could say "arm" or "back of the head" or, on one memorable occasion, "spleen", but won't say what the heck happened to any of those parts.
Was he stabbed?? Shot at?? Who knows. Certainly not Bruce.
Damian:
Only mentions the retribution he got for any injuries he received.
"It's been handled", "he'll never be able to get the drop on me again" and more often than not, just the word "avenged".
Bruce is surprised he has any of his original hair colour left at all.
Duke:
By far the worst one. He writes down injuries in terms of his own pain scale.
Could write "OW!" or "Not Gucci" or "Better than that time Jason hit me in the face with a TV remote".
Once wrote "Non-fatal" which sent Bruce into a spiral because "holy shit Duke?? What do you mean non-fatal?? Yeah I sure hope your injuries weren't lethal?!"
Cass:
Has never been injured on patrol. Often leaves him question marks in her file which...yeah, fair enough.
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alienzil · 7 months
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Okay so I saw this post and you know the types of fics where adult Danny moves to Gotham and winds up emotionally adopting one or more of bat kids or accidentally coparenting with Bruce (with or without a relationship between them)? I had the thought, what if Danny parented the bat kids but he started doing it out of spite?
Like, Danny moves to Gotham and runs into Batman and Robin one night while out for a late night flight and drops down to the rooftop to say hi.
Bruce sees this 5'6" twink that looks like a stiff breeze could knock him over and is so obviously new in town and thinks Gotham is going to eat him alive, he needs to leave before he gets killed.
Batman: Looming menacingly and in his deepest scariest Batman voice, "Leave. Metas aren't allowed in Gotham."
Danny: Offend! Excuse?! Who does this guy think he is?! 😡 Danny was trying to be polite here! "First of all, I'm not a meta. Second of all, rude much?!"
Batman: Does scariest bat glare. "Leave." Swoops off into the night.
Robin (Damian): "My father is correct. You should leave the city for your own safety."
Danny sees this tiny vigilante child with fierce expression and a sword and is just like awww, so cute! 😍 Then he noticed Robin had a small cut on his arm and his inner gremlin activates. If the rude flying furry can't take care of his own kid properly, Danny will do it better!
He bandages up Damian's arm, gives him a cookie and teaches him a neat sword trick before sending him on his way with a hug telling him he needs his sleep.
Danny goes out of his way to run into the bat kids and be the absolute best dad.
He takes Nightwing flying and throws him in the air so Nightwing can do all the fanciest acrobatic tricks.
He tracks down Red Hood and starts a book club with him (Danny may or may not have used his connection with Ghost Writer to get ahold of some rare books).
He eats waffles with Spoiler and trys out weird topping combinations that make them both make faces and laugh.
He makes new gadgets for Red Robin but carefully breaks them just a little bit and takes them to the teen so they can fix them together (it's enrichment!). He always insists RR keep them as a reward.
He follows Signal around during the day invisibly, making faces and doing tricks only Signal can see (he made him laugh in front of the police at a crime scene twice!).
All of the kids get his attention and love and Danny smugly thinks how Batman must be absolutely seething about his kids bonding with Danny and Batman missing out on all of it.
Danny started it out of spite but he does wind up genuinely loving the bat kids.
Batman definetly hates it when the kids are bonding with Danny and is extremely jealous (sulky Batman brooding in his cave about it).
Bruce's repeated attempts to intimidate Danny into leaving Gotham don't work and him telling his kids to stay away from Danny had zero effect (the terrible children don't listen to him at all).
So Bruce starts spending more time with the kids to compete against Danny. The bat kids love it and (little gremlins that they are) use the two of them against each other constantly.
Bruce:"Sorry Tim, I can't make it to your photography exhibit this weekend, there's a meeting with the Justice League."
Tim:"Oh that's fine... I'll just ask Danny to come." 😏
Bruce: Narrows his eyes and grits his teeth, "Actually, the Justice League needs to have contingencies in place to manage without my input. This would be a good time to test their capabilities. I'll skip the meeting and come to your exhibit."
With both of them competing to spend more time with the kids it leads to the two of them spending time with each other to be around the kids more.
After Damian catches a terrible flu bug, Danny spends an entire weekend at the manor babying him. This is when Bruce finds out Danny has known their secret identities for months and tries to get mad about it but Alfred puts his foot down, raises a judgmental eyebrow in Bruce's direction that puts a stop to that nonsense and sets up Danny with his own room in the family wing.
Eventually, Danny gets to the point where he spends most of his nights at the manor and he and Bruce consult each other on all major household decisions.
The whole family is at the manor one morning including Danny. Bruce has a meeting at WE and he and Danny are absently discussing their plans for the day at the breakfast table.
Bruce: " The meeting should take most of the morning and then I have paperwork this afternoon and a scheduled walk through on one of the new engineering projects. I probably won't be done by the time school let's out. Can you pick up Damian today?"
Danny: "That shouldn't be a problem. Would you mind swinging by the bookstore on the way home and getting my preorder? Jay and I just finished rereading the first book and we were wanting to start the second tonight before you all go on patrol. I'd rather not try to make it to the bookstore in school rush hour traffic"
Bruce: "Sure."
Stephanie watches Danny reach out and absently straighten Bruce's tie as they both get up to leave. Bruce grabs Danny's coffee thermos and hands it to him while they walk out the door.
Stephanie: "Sooo, bets on how long until they realize they're basically married?"
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undertheredhood · 9 months
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any dc character: *confessing something about their past they kept hidden out of fear/shame*
their batfam bff who had already known for a while and is now desperately trying to hide that they knew the truth this entire time: “oh, wow! that is so crazy, i am so sorry you had to go through that.”
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haveihitanerve · 2 months
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The batkids taking shit from each other- the intimacy of knowing where the other persons weapons/gadgets/things are
The most commonly “pickpocketed” person is bruce, and he gets so used to it/they get so good at it that sometimes he forgets to take it back or replace it. 
Batman and Red Hood are staking out a new villains headquarters and jason is bored so he reaches over to bruces side and pulls out three lollipops, working through them one at a time. Bruce doesn't even flinch, even as jason's hand digs deep into his side to reach the last one. Then later he has to calm down this little girl, reaches for the pocket, and finds he has no more lollipops to comfort this child with. So he reaches over to Nightwing, who is currently in deep discussion with a police officer, and tugs some sweets out from his shoulder pocket and hands it to the kid. Accidentally, he also takes a replacement grappling hook wire with it, since dick is a mess and has all sorts of shut crammed in every pocket thats not supposed to be there, but he just shrugs and tucks it into his own replacement wire pocket. Then dicks line breaks a few days later and he reaches for his pocket- and its empty. So he does a double backflip off the building, lands on top of a swinging red robin, snatches some replacement wire from his boot pocket, recharges his gun and is gone within a few seconds. Tim continues on like nothing has happened. When he lands on the next roof, Spoiler is waiting for him, and he gives her a quick kiss, reaching to the back of her waist band to grab a small knife and throw it at the goon coming up the stairs. A few days later steph is hanging upside down with cass and reaches for her knife, only to come up empty handed, so she just grabs the one cass has strapped to her thigh and peels her orange with that instead. Cass shrugs, drops from the ceiling on bruces shoulders, pecks his cheek and takes one of his daggers from his chest pocket. Three days later damian yeets his katana at Riddler(it misses but the villain is traumatized) but now the young robin is out of a weapon, so he ducks under cass’s legs and takes the dagger, sending it flying into a nearby goons gut. Bruce is both horrified and proud of his children and instates a weekly meeting to double check that every has all of their things. A very startling amount of gadgets and knicknacks are passed from hand to hand at these meetings, returned to their rightful owner. Bruce, naturally, has the largest pile that he has to put away. The kids all snicker into their hands as he glowers, shoving the weapons and pepper spray and gum pieces(“why did you take them if you weren't even going to chew them!!!”) back into his suit as they all finish up an hour before him and just watch. 
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ghostbsuter · 9 months
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There was a teen in the cave.
A teen no one knows and looks like he could be a wayne, stands in the cave.
"Actually, I'm a wayne." He says with a shrug.
Bruce, Batman, carefully thinks of the implication.
"Not yet," The teen, Danny, doesn't say anything. Simple smiles. "You're not a wayne, yet. You will be. But not yet."
Then Bruce sighs, dropping the batman mask in order to take in the teen.
"Does future me know of the time travel?"
Dannys smile grows into a grin, deciding to take pity on the man. "You, grandbat, have..." He makes a vague gesture. "Theories, which none of your children ever confirmed."
The bat's mind short-circuits at the choice of words
Dick is sputtering incomprehensibly, there are Baffled expression all around.
Because.
Because that child isn't Bruce's, but one of theirs.
"Who is it?" Jason demands, hand clenching his gun uselessly.
Danny continues to smile, a hint of mischief now peeking out.
The cave is filled with theories, some yell, some sob, yet all eyes leave danny.
All but one pair.
She had known the moment his body language switched just enough for her to read.
She had known the moment he disappeared before the clan.
Had known when his hand found hers, shoulders bumping.
Her heart clenches, throat dry and memories of her childhood flooding to mind.
So she asks, voice soft and hesitant.
"Am I a good mother?"
And danny looks up at cass, adoration and pride laid out plain for her to see and accept.
"You're the best."
And so they both watch the clan together, silent and comfortable.
(Cass doesn't question when she finds him, how and why. All she knows is that she's more attentive when out on patrol, looking and waiting.)
(This is how Cassandra Cain-Wayne returns one night from patrol, a child, barely out of toddler stage and clinging to her form.)
(This is how the Batclan officially meets one Daniel James Cain-Wayne, freshly washed and clothed, a cookie in hand and hiding shyly behind Cass.)
(When they meet, all they say is "Welcome home, danny," and "Good to see you again.", Danny doesn't necessarily get it, but that's okay. Maybe his new mom will explain it one day when he's bigger.)
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rad-batson · 9 months
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AU where after 12yo Billy’s identity gets revealed to the JL, Bruce Wayne gives his number to Billy for emergencies or any other situation where he might need an adult (like a get-out-of-jail free card, covering rent, signing a permission slip, advice, anything.) No strings attached. He won’t act controlling. Just in case, you know?
And for a while it’s never used because Billy would rather take his own eye out than ask an adult for help. Until Billy realizes there are a lot more benefits to this than he thought. Now whenever Uncle Dudley is at work and Constantine is too busy running from the magical authorities or (more importantly) he doesn’t want either to know what he’s doing, Bruce is the adult he calls.
-
Cap, over comms: Hey Bruce, I need advice.
Bruce, already in the zeta tube: Which villain is it?
Cap: You have style, right? What should I wear to the school dance? Because Dudley said a ruffled tuxedo shirt is “a classic” but it sounds ugly and-
Bruce:
Bruce: Oh, it’s that kind of advice.
-
Bruce: *posing as Billy’s guardian for class registration day*
PTA Mom: Hello sir, is this your son?
Bruce: *looks at Billy*
Billy: *nodding his head*
Bruce: Yes
-
Billy: Hey Bruce, can you buy something for me?
Bruce: What is it?
Billy: *slowly hands Bruce a copy of The Conjuring*
Bruce:
Bruce: Billy, I don’t think you should—
Billy: You promised :(
Bruce: *whispering* fuck
-
Cap, over comms: Uhh, Bruce? Do you know Sanskrit?
Bruce: Yeah, why? Is it for a school assignment?
Cap: …Don’t tell Constantine.
Bruce:
Cap: I got kidnapped by an ancient cult, and I need you to help me escape.
Bruce: *crushes the mug of coffee he’s holding*
Bruce: Oh?
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superbat-love · 10 months
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Bruce: So? What are they doing now?
Clark: They’re sitting on the bench and eating ice cream.
Bruce: How close?
Clark: [squints] Umm, pretty close.
Bruce: How. Close.
Clark: [sighs exasperatedly] There’s a 12 inch gap between them. Bruce, did you call me here to the Batcave to spy on Cass and her date?
Bruce: Cass told me not to follow her, tag her with any recording devices or spy on her using drones or hidden cameras. I haven’t done any of that.
Clark: So I’m your tiny little loophole.
Bruce: Trust me, there’s nothing tiny or little about you, Clark. Now, what flavor are their ice-creams?
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papa just said 'i have lost my list'
i was like 'what list'
he was like 'so now i am listless'
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ryemiffie · 12 days
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I love imagining the scenario where one of Bruce's kids is getting married but no one knows Bruce's identity and it creates shenanigans. Like for example, Dick is marrying Starfire and she doesn't know Bruce's identity.
And they of course want Bruce at the wedding since he's Dick's dad, but they also want a hero as security due to the nature of the wedding, not only as a wedding between two heroes but also a Wayne wedding (not to mention holding a wedding like that in gotham is never easy) which is a pretty big deal in both respects and garners a lot of attention to be the perfect opportunity for a villian attack. So Starfire and Dick decide to request a justice league member there as security. Some heroes are eliminated due to them already being meant to attend as guests who are meant to be able to enjoy the wedding and some already have missions that need their attention, like Wonder Woman, Aquaman, and the Martian Manhunter are busy off-world, Shazam and HawkGirl are busy with a villian who's been on the run, and Superman is supposed to be doing press for the wedding as Clark, so they decide to give the task to Batman seeing as he's more than qualified and is already accustomed to the area (gotham), he can't figure out a way to decline the mission without risking his identity being leaked since he really has no reason to not be able to do it, except of course saying he has civilian business, on the day of the wedding, at the exact time of the wedding.. yeah hell no, Batman is way to paranoid to say something like that! So he agrees to do security as Batman for the wedding while also agreeing to attend the wedding as Bruce, ya' know, so people don't suspect anything about his identity due to the situation.
And before you ask yes Dick has realised the situation but no he is not helping Bruce out of it because its fucking funny to him, and none of the other batkids agree to where the suit for the day since they're also guests and they also find the situation funny as hell. So cue Bruce trying to constantly switch between making appearances as Bruce and doing security as Batman, like the classic sitcom episode where the person has to constantly switch between one date to the next, but it's Batman just trying to enjoy his kid's wedding.
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l3viat8an · 7 months
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Solomon: *T-posing in the kitchen doorway at the demon lords castle* Greetings, Barbatos!
Barbatos:*Not looking up from his morning tea* Good morning, problem child.
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Alfred knows Danny from long ago during his secret service days. He always found the other odd, but his company was enjoyable enough to overlook. They were friends for a short while. Danny even saved his life once or twice. However, despite their trust in each other, they didn’t keep in touch. It was like Danny disappeared and he never heard from the jolly man again. That is until Danny showed up at the Wayne manor decades later looking the same as when they parted ways carrying the daughter he talked so much about.
Danny stood on the front porch with a toddler Ellie in his arms. She’s been behaving wonderfully. The new environment gave her curious self something to look at and distract her from a tantrum.
He rings the doorbell awkwardly with her in one arm and a bag of supplies resting on his shoulder.
If things were any different he wouldn’t be here, but he’s got to do what he’s got to do even if it’s the last scenario.
Footsteps can be heard on the other side before it opens to reveal a boy in sweatpants and a hoodie. It’s a little warm for the summer and Danny expects they have an expensive electric bill for this large place.
The kid, Damian Wayne he remembers, scowls. He gives Danny a once over with narrowed eyes.
“How’d you get through the gate?” Damian demands.
Danny blinks and adjusts Ellie on his hip.
“I walked of course.” Damian grows even more suspicious and Danny decides to change the subject. “I’m Danny. Danny Fenton. And this little monster is Ellie. Want to say hello, Ells?”
Ellie looks at Damian for all of three seconds before losing interest.
“No.”
Danny sighs. Yea, he was expecting that answer. It’s her favorite word at the moment.
“Why are you here?” Damian asks.
Straight to the point then.
“I’m looking for Alfred Pennyworth. Is he around? It’s urgent.”
“What is it concerning?” Damian straightens his spine to appear taller but it doesn’t change the head difference.
Danny sets Ellie down on the brick when she won’t stop squirming to be let down. She doesn’t waste a moment wandering away to investigate her surroundings. Damian raises a brow while watching her.
“I’m cashing in that favor he owns me.”
That got the boy’s attention. He studies the adult for a moment before opening the door wider for the both of them to enter.
Danny manages to wrangle Ellie into the house with Damian’s judgmental gaze following them. The bag had slid down to his elbow when he bends down to hold Ellie’s hand to steady her.
It’s as Damian is closing the front door that a man comes around the corner in a butler uniform. The same man he was looking for.
Alfred freezes after registering who was in front of him. The older of the two sighs heavily. Shoulders back and chin high, as expected he approaches this situation with a level head and posh dignity.
“Daniel,” addresses Alfred. “I wasn’t expecting you.”
Danny cringes. He really should have called with a warning but there wasn’t time. He also always hated it when Alfred refused to use Danny’s preferred nickname, a sort of teasing that was consistent. If Alfred was anything, he’s stubborn enough to do what he wants and get away with it.
“Sorry, Alf. Next time for sure.” Danny sends a cheeky grin that doesn’t impress anyone. He glances over at his daughter to see her trying to touch the expensive looking vase on a side table.
“Ellie!” He dashes over to pull her away which immediately starts a struggle war and fussing. He knows if he lets this continue it will turn into a full blown tantrum.
“That’s not ours, we can’t touch it without permission.” She whines in frustration. “Do you want to ask if it’s okay to touch? Gently?”
Ellie thinks about it a second before looking up at him. Danny nods in understanding and turns her a bit to look at the two spectators.
“Toush?” She asks with an adorable chubby arm raised to point at the vase.
“Are you going to break it?” Damian asks with folded arms.
“Master Damian, I’m sure that’s not her intention.” Alfred turns with a smile back to Ellie. “That vase is fragile. Can you be very careful?”
Obviously her answer is a confident nod of the head and immediately trying to reach out again. Danny helps to lift her and hold her wrist steady.
She pets the vase like a kitten, feeling the raised edges of the design with her little hand. After a few long moments Danny pulls her away to set her on his hip like before, earning an annoyed huff in his direction for his efforts.
“Very good, Ellie. I knew you could do it.”
She hides her face in his shoulder and he takes the opportunity to send a look at Alfred. The older man understands immediately and inclines his head before turning to walk further into the house.
“It was nice meeting you,” Danny shoots Damian before following Alfred to what appears to be a parlor a few rooms away.
“I shall fetch some tea.”
Danny shakes his head as he sits.
“No time. I’m in a rush.”
Alfred eyes him up and down before gingerly sitting in the armchair across from him.
“Yes, so I have noticed.”
In other words, spill your guts for abruptly intruding like you have.
“Something…urgent has come up-“
“I assumed as much.”
“-and I know how good you are with kids-“
“Daniel, you cannot expect me to-“
“You owe me,” Danny says firmly. Alfred leans back at the reminder. He knows Danny would never hold that over his head without a good reason. “I have no one else to go to, to look after her. I normally would just take her with me, but I- it’s gotten dangerous. Too dangerous for her.”
He looks to Alfred with desperate eyes. Ellie tries to squirm out of his arms, which reflexively tighten securely around her middle. He can see the dark bags under the younger eyes.
Alfred sighs.
“How long?”
Danny sags and Ellie slips out of her father’s arms as soon as the chance presented itself. Alfred would need to keep a close eye on her in the future.
“A week, two, three tops.”
Alfred sends an unimpressed look and Danny cringes but doesn’t redact his statement.
“Anything I need to know?”
Danny looks down at the hastily packed diaper bag like it had all the answers.
“We’re kind of in the middle of potty training so I threw in some pull ups but those will go quick. She hates carrots. Won’t go to sleep without a bedtime story. Don’t give her any sugar after four or she’ll turn into a monster. Oh, and her powers are coming in so I packed a shield for at night.”
Alfred raises a single eyebrow.
“Could you be more specific?”
Danny waves it off like it was no big deal.
“Just the normal stuff. Invisibility, intangibility, and flight. It’s all very weak and sporadic right now. Keep calm until she figures it out on her own. She’s just learning.”
“So you are leaving a child in my care for an unknown amount of time, a child that can disappear, walk through walls, and fly. Anything else?”
Danny rubs the back of his neck guiltily.
“Why do you always have to make everything sound so…” He sighs heavily, glancing over at Ellie who has managed to take every blanket out of the basket in the corner and crawled in to make a nest out of the materials. He smiles fondly.
“I’ve probably forgotten something, but I know you can handle it. You can take care of her.”
Danny then stands and pulls out a piece of paper, handing it over.
“My number is at the top in case of emergencies. Her favorite stuffy is in the bag, she won’t sleep without it. Her favorite word right now is ‘no’. I wrote down anything I could think of, which you probably can’t even read my chicken scratch…”
Alfred gently takes the paper from his hand and Danny slowly makes his way to the messy corner.
“Hey, Elles,” he says softly, far softer than anything Alfred has heard from him. Usually he was a rambunctious, jovial loudmouth, but right now he was hesitant. Prolonging the farewell they both know needs to happen with how urgent this mysterious problem was.
Ellie looks up for a moment before going back to maneuvering her fort.
“I gotta go away for a while. Alfred here will be watching over you while I’m gone, okay?”
That got her attention. For a child that young, she knew something was wrong, but didn’t know what. And now her dad, her protector, was leaving.
“No.”
Danny folds his lips together, expecting the response but still not ready to go through the hard part of leaving.
“I’m so sorry, baby girl. I am, but I have to go. I’ll be back when I’m finished.”
“No!”
Danny sighs and reaches in to pull her into his arms. She fights him valiantly, but he was stronger and bigger.
“I know. I know. I’m sorry. I’ll be back as soon as I can. I promise.”
They might as well have been empty words for the lack of effect it had on the struggling toddler. Danny sways with her for a few beats until he gets an idea.
“Danielle, look.”
He makes sure she’s watching as he creates a loop of ice, infused with his ectoplasm and therefore, his signature.
“Hold out your hand,” he coax.
She does so with a sniffle and he gently moves the glowing green ghost ice around her wrist to make an indestructible, unmeltable bracelet. He shrinks it until he’s sure it won’t fall off and won’t be too tight either.
“There. Now you have a piece of me wherever you go. Even when we’re far apart.”
She pointedly doesn’t look at him.
“I love you, Ellie. I’ll be back soon.”
He kisses her forehead, breathes in her soft scent, and turns to Alfred. The older man is watching carefully and makes his arms available for a new passenger.
With a deep breath Danny hands her over, Ellie immediately starts whining and tears fall from her eyes.
“Hey, you’ll be okay. Alfred here is a mighty warrior. He’ll keep you safe. I trust him.”
He does his best to wipe away her tears but he has to physically step away when she reaches for him. Instead he looks to Alfred.
Alfred holds her securely and nods in assurance.
“Not to worry. Danielle and I will be too busy to notice your absence.”
Danny smiles at the effort but it doesn’t reach his eyes. He can’t resist petting her head one last time, her pigtails in disarray, and wiping her tears from her cheeks.
“I’ll be back before you know it,” he promises, marking it with another kiss to her head before backing away again. He looks at Alfred sending his gratitude without words. Alfred accepts it with a slight incline of the head. Danny nods once and leaves before he can’t.
The door opens and the young boy from earlier stumbles back with a glare to hide his embarrassment.
“Master Damian-“
Danny holds up a hand to stop Alfred. Of course the boy would eavesdrop, what did either of them expect?
The young father leans down to get eye level with Damian, looking him straight in the eye with seriousness. Damian straightens at the attention.
“It’s very important Ellie is safe and occupied while I’m away. It would mean a lot to me if you would help Alfred do that.”
Damian folds his arms.
“What would I get out of that useless goal?”
“What would you want?”
“Daniel, Master Bruce would not-“
“A knife,” Damian interrupts. “Not just any knife though. It has to be special.”
Danny hums in thought, studying Damian for a moment, almost making the boy squirm.
“Deal.”
He holds out his hand and Damian shakes it after a second of hesitation. Danny nods to the boy, then nods to Alfred, and he’s finally out the door making a portal as he walks from the gentle breeze of outside to the chill of ectoplasm, transforming into his kingly attire as he crosses the threshold.
The GIW had a lot to answer for and he couldn’t hold his subjects back any longer. The United States had declared war against the Infinite Realms and he would be the one to answer.
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Text
"I've Got This!"
The Batkids are often heard uttering this phrase. Bruce has made a chart that explains how much confidence you can have in the speaker
Dick: He's lying
Jason: He's lying
Tim: He's lying
Damian: He's lying
Duke: He's lying
Cass: She's lying
Steph: She's lying
Barbara: The only one you can trust
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