#obey me incorrect quotes
hopeluna · 2 days ago
Mammon, up to his shit again: Are you religious? I'd like to introduce you to my religion
Lucifer: What are you-
Mammon, showing a picture of MC: this is my religion
Lucifer: .....I'm interested.
The brothers: we are interested
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tsukii0002 · 2 days ago
Solomon: so... Why are you guys in detention?
Mc: well, Satan gave Lucifer a cursed book.
Solomon: I see
Mc: his uniform turned all pink and glitter everywhere.
Satan: I'll do it again
Solomon: yes you will... And Belphie?
Mc: oh, he was the one who bought the book and he took pictures.
Belphie: *sleeping* he he...
Solomon: and what about you Mc? What did you do?
Mc: *sighs* I burst out laughing while everyone was dead silent...
Satan: it was epic
Mc: and what about you? What bring ypu here?
Solomon: I'm not sure, I just offered some homemade cookies to the teacher.
Mammon: yeah, it makes perfect sense.
Solomon: ...
Mc: ...
Satan: ...
Mammon: what?
Mc: what are you doing here?
Mammon: Lucifer said that it's better to bring me here before I have time to do something.
Solomon: yeah, it makes perfect sense
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morningstaravatar · 2 days ago
MC, during play: Help! We’re being attacked!
Diavolo, jumping infront of them: Have no fear because my tiddies are here!
Choir, singing: CAPTAIN TIDDIES! 🎶
*Uses it as a shield*
Lucifer, in demon form: Stop the show.
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therainningtown · 2 days ago
Your Family Reminds Me Of A Greek God!!
(I Fucking Hate Kronos)
You: You know what.
You: Your family reminds me of a certain god?
Belphegor: It better not be-
Lucifer: Kronos?
You: Yeah! The planet Saturn who gutted Uranus.
Lucifer: How does that remind you of us?
Asmo: Yeah? I wouldn’t gut anyone in my family.
Satan: I would.
You: It’s because Kronos got scared that his children would over throw him since it was a prophecy, so he ate them alive and continued to rule. Zeus was saved and soon came back to gut him alive and finally released his brothers and sisters from his stomach.
The brothers:….
Lucifer: I did want to gut father….
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a-local-idiots-shitpost · 2 days ago
Mc: (holding a piece of cake)
Beel: (puppy dog eyes)
Mc: I already gave you the rest of the cake
Beel: (looking sad)
Mc: this won't work this time
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gr8mammon · 2 days ago
Levi: At least try to sound slightly sophisticated when you threaten someone?
Mammon: Dost thou wish to engage in a duel, my good bITCH?!
MC: Somehow that is so much worse.
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the-fab-fox · 2 days ago
Satan, holding Mammon by the shirt: Tell me one good reason why I shouldn't end you where you stand!
Mammon, visibly afraid: U-uh... MC told me to have a good day!!
Satan, lowering his fist: You make a good point...
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rubystarpoet · 2 days ago
Asmodeus: Y/n, I've noticed you wear very little makeup.
Y/n: I don't wear any makeup.
Asmodeus: *calmly pulls out his phone to text someone*
Y/n: ...?
Solomon: I'm here. What was so dire that I needed to rush over here right now?
Y/n: It really isn't?
Asmodeus: *cue another over dramatic gasp and he just dramatically falls backwards into Solomon's arms*
Solomon: ...Can I ask what exactly is making him act like this?
Y/n: I just told him I don't wear any makeup at all.
Asmodeus: *cue fake crying*
Solomon: Ah. Not even lotion?
Y/n: Nah. Water is enough.
Y/n: Simple...I'm doing it right now.
Solomon: ...Pff
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luxthestrange · 6 hours ago
Incorrect quotes#657 Humans @ it again
In the purgatory hall
Solo: wHAT??
Mc: What if soy milk is just milk introducing itself in Spanish?
Solo*inhales like you revealed the secrets in the universe*
Simeon, in another room with Luke: Why can I hear screeching?
You and Solomon going bonkers with the new revelation about to tell the masses
Tumblr media
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karumashadowchicken · 2 days ago
Random Obey Me! Headcanons pt.002
I have more random Obey Me! Headcanons, if you'd like random Headcanons for a character in specific let me know! :)
-Beelzebub likes to watch Bumble Bees, like when he's outside, or cooling down after sports he often finds himself watch the really floofy Bumble Bees bump into things and get stuck in flowers.
Like it just happens and it's really relaxing for him.
-Satan brings stray cats in the house of lamentation as a way to annoy Lucifer. Like, okay there's one stray cat that he had to put outside... that's fine wonder who let them in.
Suddenly it's every 15 minutes because Satan keeps bringing them back in while putting cat food out.
-Levi have the Devildom version of Tumblr and has a cringy fanfic blog- like me-
but like for Ruri-chan themed stuff and poems about his love for certain characters.
-Satan also has a Tumblr account but it's a cat blog. If people have questions about how to take care of cats, he's on it. Also just cute picture of stray cats, and what brands are best for different type sof cats, how to raise a stray kitten.
and all sorts of cute stuff like that. He thinks that no one knows it's him running the blog- but Lucifer knows. He just doesn't want to ruin it because he thinks it's cute. and also something to distract him from tormenting him.
-Belphie builds pillow forts, and sometimes Mammon helps him. Then they just chill in the forts.
Asmo also sometimes goes in the pillow forts after there already built, but every once in a while he too helps build them!
-Mammon is the least demon like of the group and often resists the urge to gamble because he wants to get his brother or Mc a gift.
And it upsets him a little when they say he's greedy, but he's just glad he can protect them and keep 'em happy.
-Asmo and Satan go out a feed stray cats together, and Asmo sometimes takes Satan to cat cafes to get cute orders and to take picture of themselves with the cute food!
Fun Fact: I have a grey Kitten that's named after Satan, their name is Tan-Tan.
I've also accidently referred to Satan as Stan. It's auto correct getting me into bad habits-
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kpop-otome-yandere-here · a month ago
Mc is late
Lucifer: You’re late.
Mc: You’re handsome.
Lucifer: You’re forgiven.
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etcrow · a month ago
MC: "I love you, MC" said the evil demon who smashed me to death with a hug
Belphie: I already tell you I am sorry
MC: said the evil hug serial killer
Belphie: *exasperated noises*
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tsukii0002 · a day ago
Imagine Mc being fascinated by the demon form of the brothers. For this reason, they usually collect the feathers, the scales of tails and wings or the bits of dead skin of the horns that the brothers leave around the house. And finally, they keep this things carefully in a little box in their room.
When the brothers find out, I imagine the different posibles scenarios. Maybe, this seems gross to the demons, like wtf human? Who keeps those things? Or maybe this is like courtship behavior between demon, like the ones that birds and other animals have. In this last situation the brother are like "oh". And then, one of them be like:
"wait, which of us is they courting?... They are trying to form an harem??!!!!"
Meanwhile Mc is happily observing their treasures: "wow this scale looks like a hexagon"
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morningstaravatar · 2 days ago
MC: Hey Solomon can I borrow your eyes?
Solomon: what why?
MC: So I can see exactly what the fuck you see when you cook.
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alyssatjuhhh · a month ago
Barbatos: "..."
Barbatos: "young-"
Mc *using a watergun on barbs*: "No! Bad demon."
Barbatos: "but-"
Mc: "Your on vacation."
Barbatos: "Yes I know but-"
Mc: "Your not gonna move a muscle closer to Dia."
*Barbatos giving puppy eyes*
Mc *using the watergun again*: "RELAX!"
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a-local-idiots-shitpost · 2 days ago
Mc: I have to leave
Mammon: you mean WE have to leave Mc, right?
Mc: Mammon I have to go to the bathroom
Mammon: (embarrassed) I'll stay with what I said
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gr8mammon · 2 days ago
Luke, walking into Purgatory Hall: Hello, demons who don’t live here.
Levi: Hey.
Satan: Hi.
Asmo: Hello.
Beel: Hey, buddy!
Luke: I gave you the key to here for emergencies only!
Mammon: What? We were out of Doritos!
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