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slutifer · 3 days

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Solomon: mc isn’t feeling well, so how ‘bout i take over their cooking duty tonight?

Lucifer: is that a fuckin’ threat

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tsukii0002 · 3 days

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Back to the present time after the events of nightbringer.

Solomon: Mc cooked for me every day, *blushing* we looked like a newlywed couple.

The brothers: *looking at Mc with disbelief*

Mc: What? we lived together, either I cooked or I died of food intoxication.

Mammon: Oh well- What do you mean living together?

Solomon: Te he, tremendous lovebirds we are.

.

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treasureofmammon · 3 days

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💙💛🧡 A crush on the seven 💚🩷❤️💜

👥️Characters: Lucifer x gn!reader, Mammon x gn!reader, Leviathan x gn!reader, Satan x gn!reader, Asmodeus x gn!reader, Beelzebub x gn!reader, Belphegor x gn!reader, Solomon.

⚠️Warnings: Multiple crushes, polygamous. Funny stuff.

📝 Note: Incorrect quote. Dialogue made by me.

✨️💖💛✨️💖💛✨️💖💛✨️💖💛✨️💖💛✨️💖💛✨️

Solomon: So, MC... who out of these seven do you have a crush on?

MC: Mammon...

Mamms: Ha! Hell yeah!

MC: ... and Lucifer...

Luci: What?

Mamms: WHAT?!

MC: ... and Levi...

Levi: Wh-What?!

Mamms: WHAT?!!

MC: ... and Satan...

Satan: ... I don't know how to feel about this.

Mamms: Hold up!! HOLD UP!!

MC: ... and Beel...

Beel: I have a crush on you, too, MC.

Belphie: I'm glad for you, Beel.

Mamms: STOP! Ya're not gonna name all of my brothers, are ya?! MC?!

MC: ... and Belphie...

Belphie: I have a crush on you as well, MC.

Beel: I'm glad they have a crush on you too, Belphie.

Mamms: STOOOOP!! STOP! STOP!! Ya're killin' me.

MC: ... and obviously, Asmo.

Mamms: I'm dead, ya just killed me.

Asmo: OH! MC! I have a huge crush on you, too! Although... I totally get you, MC. How could you choose?

MC: Exactly.

...

Solomon: Doesn't anyone else think it's weird Asmo said that about his brothers?

✨️💖💛✨️💖💛✨️💖💛✨️💖💛✨️💖💛✨️💖💛✨️

[Notes: The character(s) depicted here belong to the mobile game "Obey me: shall we date" and are owned by Solmare Corporation. The text here was made by me: Treasure of Mammon, meaning these are fan-made. | GN!Reader | English is not my first language, so there might be orthographic and syntax errors. I urge you all to interact kindly with this post].

📌 Masterlist

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overheardbyvarioustherapists · 3 days

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Diavolo: Welcome to the cap store. We have baseball caps, bucket caps, capsized canoes, and sun caps for when you tell lies too close to the sun.

Leviathan:

Leviathan: Lord Diavolo really out here giving fanfiction commenters a run for their money.

#incorrect quotes #obey me memes #obey me shall we date #obey me incorrect quote #obey me incorrect quotes #obey me nightbringer #obey me diavolo #obey me leviathan

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helpiamlostsomewhereinthegarden · 5 hours

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MC: Don't kill me! I have friends!

Some Random witches: You think we care about that?

MC: No, this isn't a plea for mercy. It's a warning.

Witches: What?

The brothers + Purgatory Hall + Diavolo and Barbaros, kicking down the door: Where is our Human?!

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l3viat8an · 9 hours

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Leviathan: Have we always called you MC?

MC: Yeah...?

Mammon: Wait what?

Asmo: Seriously?

Satan: Wow I just noticed that...

Leviathan: What if... our life is just a simulation?

(Everyone stares at you irl)

Beel: Who's that?

MC: That's me!

Mammon: But ya right here?

Belphie: I don't really care...

MC: That's me in real life!

Barbatos: Why would you tell them now?

MC: HEY I DIDN'T TELL THEM THEY JUST ASKED!!!

Barbatos: See now I gotta alter the time and erase memories, then I have to find ways to avoid this outcome...

MC: Awww cmon Barb!

Barbatos: It must be done, I'm sorry...

MC: Okay then, do what you must...

Omg i did not mean for that to get angsty, i just thought abt this. It was inspired by another post but i forgot it😭 I LOVE YOUUU❤️❤️

“Wow I just noticed that….” NAHHHH

And why are they breaking the forth wall??! nosy ass demons, can’t mind their business smh 😒 this is why they have so many problems!!! And why MC has to fix them helpsjks

and the end??? Barbatos and MC have to fix another timeline that’s like their part-time job now jsksjsk

#I LOVE YOU TOO SUGAR <333 #also this idea is soooo cool!!!#it could get even more angsty if (somehow) the brothers don’t completely forget-#like they just have a vague feeling you’ve looked or sounded different at some point….#ANYWAYZ!!!!-#I’ll shut up now 🚶🏼‍♀️#moot mail!#obey me!#ro rambles #obey me incorrect quotes #om!#om! incorrect quotes #obey me

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hxneyydew222 · 18 hours

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imagine mc is going around HoL just ironically singing karma by jojo siwa.

Mc: KARMAS A BITCH! I SHOULDA KNOWN BETTER-

Lucifer: Mc! will you please stop singing that infuriating song.

Mc: IF I HAD A WISH, I WOULD HAVE NEVER EFFED AROUND

Satan: I hate to agree with Lucifer, but please stop.

Mc: *shrugs* WHEN I SAW THE PICS OF YOU AND HER-

Belphie: Mc...I'm trying to sleep...

Mc: I FELT THE KNIFE TWIST..

Asmo: where is this song even from?

Beel: I'm not sure.

Mammon: Wherever it's from, it's catchy. maybe I should make a catchy song...I'd make bank.

Levi: then you could finally pay me back all the money you owe me.

Mammon: that's a great idea- *teleports out of the room*

Mc: KARMAS A BITTCCHHHH

The brothers: *all sighing*

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me swd #obey me fandom #obey me nightbringer #obey me nb #obey me incorrect quotes #obey me brothers #karmas a bitch #obey me mc #obey me imagines

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kpop-otome-yandere-here · 5 months

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Mc: Hey, dumb slut, get over here.

Mammon, sighing: Okay-

Asmo: I'm coming!

Mammon, confused: I thought... I was dumb slut...

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anintrovertedechoe · 11 months

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Lucifer: who the fuck took my demonus i just wanna talk

the brothers knowing that whoever did is fucking dead:

MC: it was me.

Lucifer: what.

MC: it was me.

Lucifer: why??? you literally can’t even get drunk off it????

MC: it tastes like capri sun and i miss it you whore

Lucifer: what the fuck is a capri sun

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cosmicstarlatte · 1 year

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Diavolo: Do you have representation?

Mammon: I call upon my lawyer MC!

MC: My client is innocent!

Diavolo (pinching MCs cheek): Of course he is, case dismissed!

Lucifer: Lord Diavolo there's crisp clean video of Mammon stealing from-

Diavolo (petting & cuddling MC): MC said he's not guilty, so he's not. What's so hard about that?

Lucifer: MC do you handle murder cases?

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me lucifer #obey me diavolo #obey me mc #obey me incorrect quotes #obey me humor #obey me crack #obey me shitpost #obey me imagines #obey me mammon #Devildom Court #◇˖・ﾟ— › cosmic obey me . ⊹#shitpostcifer

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tsukii0002 · 5 months

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Mammon: Demons do not feel guilt, that is only for humans and angels.

Solomon: ... *grinning* Remember that cake you ate the other day?

Mammon: Yeah.

Beel: It was delicious

Levi: An Ur+ ranked cake.

Solomon: It was Mc's

Mammon: ...

Beel: ...

Levi: ...

Solomon: They had been working for two weeks to be able to buy it because it was an ultra-exclusive promotion.

Mammon: What-

Solomon: They came home tired every day from work and attending to your selfish needs… all so they could share that cake with everyone *falsely tearing*

Mammon: *crying* I'm a monster!!!

Beel: *sobing* WE are monster!

Levi: *balled up in a corner*

Mc enters the room and sees the brothers crying.

Mc: What have you done?

Solomon: Me? nothing :D

Mc: Don't tell me you are surprised when people tell you that you are more demon than human.

.

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authormars · 18 days

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MC: How do angels reproduce?

Simeon: Well, it's a very complicated process and the Father-

Lucifer: Mitosis

MC:

Simeon:

Lucifer, pointing to Satan: Mitosis

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me lucifer #obey me shitpost #obey me satan #obey me simeon #obey me mc #obey me incorrect quotes #i think i'm funny

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hopeluna · 3 months

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Belphie at Diavolo's parties: this place is so fancy, I don't know which fork to kill myself with

Asmo: the fork on your right.

#this was way funnier when i thought of it in my head #obey me #obey me x reader #obey me incorrect quotes #obey me asmodeus #obey me belphegor #obey me belphie #omswd #obey me shall we date #obey me shitpost #obey me crack #om! belphegor #om! asmodeus

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overheardbyvarioustherapists · 17 hours

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Kalim: A hollow tummy makes for hollow thoughts, you see. Kalim: Why don't you join us for a banquet? Beelzebub: Really? Jamil, internally: FUCK!

#incorrect quotes #twisted wonderland incorrect quotes #twisted wonderland #twst incorrect quote #twst incorrect quotes #twisted wonderland incorrect quote #twst memes #obey me incorrect quotes #obey me shall we date #obey me nightbringer #obey me incorrect quote #obey me memes #obey me beelzebub #obey me beel #kalim al asim #jamil viper #crossover #crossover special

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saturncodedstarlette · 7 days

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Solomon, encouraging MC : —and you’re clearly very powerful now, starlight. You managed to take down a legion of monsters all by yourself without my help.

MC, still doubtful : Do you really think I’m powerful?

Solomon, cradling your face in his palms : I, for one, find you terrifying

#Obey me #Obey me x reader #obey me incorrect quotes #obey me mc #obey me x you #obey me Solomon #obey me Solomon x reader #obey me Solomon x you #Solomon #Solomon x reader #obey me nightbringer #Solomon x you #om! solomon #obey me nb #om! Solomon x reader #obey me shall we date #Original prompt : Lore Olympus #1k notes

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l3viat8an · 6 hours

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MC: A baby’s laugh is literally the most adorable thing you’ll ever hear!

Belphie: Unless it’s 2 am….and you don’t have a baby…

MC:…

#yes I got this from TikTok but it’s funnyyy #to me- funny to me #surprise it’s queue!#ro’s dumb stuff tag!#obey me!#obey me incorrect quotes #obey me mc #obey me belphegor #obey me belphie #om!#obey me shenanigans #obey me crack #obey me shitpost #om! incorrect quotes #om! shenanigans #om! mc #om! belphie

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