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#and i would do this on the computer but i'd have to learn how to do that too and i'd have to get up out of my warm chair
slippery-minghus · 5 days
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gods, why didn't i get a college degree in anything useful?
#i've known since the day it unceremoniously came in the mail that my degree is worth less than the paper it's printed on#yeah i needed to college experience for social and lersonal growth#but why couldn't i have gotten something out of it that can help me find a damn job?#what was the fucking point of going through all that?#(the social and personal growth obviously)#ahgggggg#i'm too broke and disabled to go back to school NOW#(the way i'm coping with the anxiety of waiting to hear back about the internal job i just interviewed for#is to have Officially Decided That I'll Be Rejected Out Of Hand. So What Do I Do Next?#it hurts but at least i can move forward if the worst come to pass#and it gives me something to do while i'm Waiting#ughhhhh#why couldn't i have sold my damn soul and gotten the shitty computer science degree my school had??#i remember visiting a house a friend was pet-sitting for and seeing the couple's gaming setup#and just seeing dollar signs. they both worked in computer science and made $$$#but at the time it sounded like the worst thing in the world#and i'd already changed my major once... loved what i was studying... and had my dad breathing down my neck about how much my education cost#i'm so lucky i don't have debt. thanks to my grampa. but holy hell did my dad lord that inheritance over me and make me dance for it#i don't think he ever got over grampa pulling *his* college funding bc he spent college fucking around and dropped out#couldn't wrap his head around that the narrow thing he'd trained me to be would never follow in his 'rebelious' footsteps#i beat myself up over A-'s there was no way i'd do anything other than take my grades seriously#but that was the problem. i was worried about grades and what sounded bearable to learn. not what was realistic to do with it#i wanted to get a fucking phd! with what fucking money!!!!#of course not that i had the support or the maturity to understand what it meant to choose an education that could grant me a career#but who can i blame if not myself?#dad always said i had to Go To College. there was no choice in not going. but as soon as college came he shoved me out the door#and slammed shut. how was i supposed to know what to do without him there to make me do things all of a sudden?#that took nearly a decade to learn dammit#personal
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Behold my shitty edit of Danny over my profile pic!
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Made using the least sketchy free tool I could find online: pinetools.com ...which wouldn't even let me move his face up slightly (or at least I couldn't figure out how to) but hey! At least it's not tracking my data! ...much
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running-in-the-dark · 2 years
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I was gonna go to bed earlier tonight. I wanna fix my completely fucked up sleep schedule etc. (not that that ever works but whatever)
except...
I drank a 500 ml energy drink (at like 22:00)
I started playing RimWorld
then I also started listening to music
AND then I also started downloading music
sooo now it's 5:30 and I just looked at a clock for the first time in 5 hours and I'm not even the least bit tired 🙃
#I've got the brain fog and everything. but I'm not tired.#and I just took my antidepressant now because I completely forgot. so I won't be tired for another hour 🙃#this is going soooo well lol#also - trying to find random albums from the 70s is too difficult#everything should be available online even if no one has listened to it in 40 years okay?? I need my music 😔 (I'm trying to download some#albums that I bought on vinyl and it's more difficult than I had hoped)#(so I guess the next step will be learning how to digitally record them lol because I cannot have records that aren't also in my digital#collection. it's unacceptable so I must fix this problem immediately (not immediately immediately. like tomorrow. it's so late))#maybe my brain is already asleep actually#that would explain a lot#also lol my friend saw that I have three monitors and she was like I don't understand what you'd use those for#I mean... musicbee on one. rimworld on two. and all the downloading stuff on three 🤷 I'd probably find uses for like 3 more tbh (but my#computer might die soo I probably won't do that)#oh my god just shut up already#personal#and also - yes i need to say more - I spilled iced tea on my mechanical keyboard a few days ago. my partner tried to fix it and it does#work again. but not well. all the keys are kinda stuck. so that makes everything really fucking annoying lol.#(I found the same one pretty cheap because its used so I hope that'll arrive soon but until then I will be annoyed lol. I love this stupid#keyboard so much. 😭)
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nekos · 3 months
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tumblr wouldn't let me reblog it for some reason, but I saw a post earlier today that was basically a writing prompt for what if there was a Jewish vampire trying increasingly weird foodstuffs to try to find a kosher replacement for drinking blood and I have not written anything based on the writing prompt but I have been doing an excessive amount of math and research to try to formulate a Nutritionally Complete Vampire Formula that replicates the nutritional properties of blood without using any non-kosher ingredients and this is definitely a productive use of my time (there are so many things I should be doing instead help)
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ros3ybabe · 2 months
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🎀 Hobbies 🎀
I feel as tho I don't have much time to do things besides school, work, some chores, and survive right now, but I've been thinking about some hobbies I enjoy and would like to incorporate into my life when I decide to make the time without burning out!
Reading - I used to be big on reading just about any books I could get my hands on. Then I was really focused on reading self help, and now that I haven't been reading at all, I've been thinking about getting back into reading. Always looking for book recommendations, and I do have my eye on some books I'd like to purchase.
Gardening - if I had the time and space, I'd love to have a flower garden or a vegetable garden. It always makes me happy when the fruits of my efforts come to life, so tending to plants and gardening sounds super fun and relaxing.
Video Games - I used to play video games on and off, but I wouldn't mind owning a PS4 or a Switch and spending some time playing video games whenever I'd want time to wind down.
Cooking/Baking - I love learning things, and the sense of pride I've gotten in the past when receiving praise for things I've cooked or baked has really driven me to want to increase my skill. I've only baked something from scratch once in my life, but I'd really like to expand my skills in making desserts.
Exercise - I'm talking all forms of it! Dancing, martial arts/kickboxing type activities, yoga, pilates, running, swimming, spin/cycling, weight lifting (again), calisthenics, all of it! I don't currently look like the exercise type but I find various forms of movement to be so fun! If I had more time, I'd be trying new things all the time!
Volunteer work - This is something I used to do all the time, and it's a hobby that I enjoyed that kept me humble. Not only that, but I thoroughly enjoy showing kindness and compassion to others. Making a difference in anuwau brings me so much joy, and I love meeting new people and learning their stories. I also would love to volunteer with animals, because they deserve so much love and affection too!
Drawing/Art - I used to draw for fun but when I started college, I didn't have the time to devote to continuously increasing my art skills. I still own a sketch kit, coloring materials, and several sketchbooks so it really is a matter of having time.
Crochet - The thought of making things that I can gift to others seriously makes me so excited!! Crochet seems like such a fun, crafty, relaxing activity and the added fun of gifting those crafts to others would make it so fun!!
Scrapbooking - I don't know if I'd ever do this one, but I do Ike the idea of keeping my memories in a physical space, and not just in like pictures on my phone.
Learning - if school wasn't crazy busy, I'd spend all my time learning languages (ASL, Japanese, Spanish, Korean, Mandarin, Italian, etc), computer coding skills, how to make and do certain things, just anything I can do to keep my mind enriched.
Upcycling/Altering Clothes - I would love to upcycle or alter articles of clothes into more personalized pieces for myself. The thought of having a personalized, hand made closet full of clothes makes me really want to buy a sewing machine and learn how to use it to my advantage!
That's all I can think of for now that I'd like to someday incorporate into my life. Having hobbies is always so fun, but I've been so busy and tired that I don't mess with any of the hobbies I'd want to do. If anyone has any tips for time management, or resources for beginning new hobbies, please let me know!!
til next time lovelies 🩷
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just-ornstein · 5 days
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[JK]  My first job was as an Assistant Producer for a video game company called Interplay in Irvine, CA. I had recently graduated from Boston University's School of Fine Arts with an MFA in Directing (I started out as a theatre nerd), but also had some limited coding experience and a passion for computers. It didn't look like I'd be able to make a living directing plays, so I decided to combine entertainment and technology (before it was cool!) and pitched myself to Brian Fargo, Interplay's CEO. He gave me my first break. I packed up and moved out west, and I've been producing games ever since.
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[JK] I loved my time at EA. I was there for almost a full decade, and learned a tremendous amount about game-making, and met the most talented and driven people, who I remain in touch with today. EA gave me many opportunities, and never stopped betting on me. I worked on The Sims for nearly 5 years, and then afterwards, I worked on console action games as part of the Visceral studio. I was the Creative Director for the 2007 game "The Simpsons", and was the Executive Producer and Creative Director for the 2009 game "Dante's Inferno".
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[JK] I haven't played in a long while, but I do recall that after the game shipped, my wife and I played the retail version for some time -- we created ourselves, and experimented with having a baby ahead of the actual birth of our son (in 2007). Even though I'd been part of the development team, and understood deeply how the simulation worked, I was still continually surprised at how "real" our Sims felt, and how accurate their responses were to having a baby in the house. It really felt like "us"!
Now for some of the development and lore related questions:
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[JK] So I ended up in the incredibly fortunate position of creating the shipping neighborhoods for The Sims 2, and recruiting a few teammates to help me as we went along. 
Around the same time, we started using the Buy/Build tools to make houses we could save, and also bring them into each new build of the game (correcting for any bugs and incompatibilities). With the import tool, we could load Sims into these houses. In time, this "vanguard QA" process turned into a creative endeavor to define the "saved state" of the neighborhoods we would actually end up shipping with the game.
On playtesting & the leftover sims data on various lots:
Basically, we were in the late stages of development, and the Save Game functionality wasn't quite working. In order to test the game properly, you really needed to have a lot of assets, and a lot of Sims with histories (as if you'd been playing them for weeks) to test out everything the game had to offer. So I started defining a set of characters in a spreadsheet, with all their tuning variables, and worked with engineering to create an importer, so that with each new build, I could essentially "load" a kind of massive saved game, and quickly start playing and testing. 
It was fairly organic, and as the game's functionality improved, so did our starter houses and families. 
The thought process behind the creation of the iconic three neighborhoods:
I would not say it was particularly planned out ahead of time. We knew we needed a few saved houses to ship with the game; Sims 1, after all, had the Goth house, and Bob Newbie's house. But there wasn't necessarily a clear direction for what the neighborhood would be for Sims 2. We needed the game to be far enough along, so that the neighborhood could be a proper showcase for all the features in the game. With each new feature that turned alpha, I had a new tool in my toolbox, and I could expand the houses and families I was working on. Once we had the multi-neighborhood functionality, I decided we would not just have 1 starter neighborhood, but 3. With the Aging feature, Memories, a few wacky objects, plus a huge catalog of architectural and decorative content, I felt we had enough material for 3 truly distinct neighborhoods. And we added a couple of people to what became the "Neighborhood Team" around that time.
Later, when we created Strangetown, and eventually Veronaville, I believe we went back and changed Pleasantville to Pleasantview... because I liked the alliteration of "Verona-Ville", and there was no sense in having two "villes". (To this day, by the way, I still don't know whether to capitalize the "V" -- this was hotly debated at the time!)
Pleasantview:
Anyway, to answer your question, we of course started with Pleasantview. As I recall, we were not quite committed to multiple neighborhoods at first, and I think it was called Pleasantville initially, which was kind of a nod to Simsville... but without calling it Simsville, which was a little too on the nose. (There had also been an ill-fated game in development at Maxis at the time, called SimsVille, which was cancelled.) It's been suggested that Pleasantville referred to the movie, but I don't think I ever saw that movie, and we just felt that Pleasantville kind of captured the feeling of the game, and the relaxing, simple, idyllic world of the Sims.
Pleasantview started as a place to capture the aging feature, which was all new to The Sims 2. We knew we had toddlers, teens, and elders to play with, so we started making families that reflected the various stages of family life: the single mom with 3 young kids, the parents with two teens, the old rich guy with two young gold-diggers, etc. We also had a much greater variety of ethnicity to play with than Sims 1, and we had all new variables like sexual orientation and memories. All these things made for rich fodder for a great diversity of families. Then, once we had family trees, and tombstones that carried the actual data for the dead Sims, the doors really blew open. We started asking ourselves, "What if Bella and Mortimer Goth could be characters in Sims 2, but aged 25 years? And what if Cassandra is grown up? And what if Bella is actually missing, and that could be a fun mystery hanging over the whole game?" And then finally the "Big Life Moments" went into the game -- like weddings and birthdays -- and we could sort of tee these up in the Save Game, so that they would happen within the first few minutes of playing the families. This served both as a tutorial for the features, but also a great story-telling device.
Anyway, it all just flowed from there, as we started creating connections between families, relationships, histories, family trees, and stories that we could weave into the game, using only the simulation features that were available to us. It was a really fun and creative time, and we wrote all of the lore of Sims 2 within a couple of months, and then just brought it to life in the game.
Strangetown:
Strangetown was kind of a no-brainer. We needed an alternate neighborhood for all the paranormal stuff the Sims was known for: alien abduction, male pregnancy, science experiments, ghosts, etc. We had the desert terrain, which created a nice contrast to the lush Pleasantville, and gave it an obvious Area 51 vibe.
The fact that Veronaville is the oldest file probably reflects the fact that it was finished first, not that it was started first. That's my guess anyway. It was the simplest neighborhood, in many ways, and didn't have as much complexity in terms of features like staged big life moments, getting the abduction timing right, the alien DNA thing (which I think was somewhat buggy up until the end), etc.  So it's possible that we simply had Veronaville "in the can", while we put the last polish on Pleasantville (which was the first and most important neighborhood, in terms of making a good impression) and Strangeville (which was tricky technically).
Veronaville:
But my personal favorite was Veronaville. We had this cool Tudor style collection in the Build mode catalog, and I wanted to ship some houses that showed off those assets. We also had the teen thing going on in the aging game, plus a lot of romance features, as well as enemies. I have always been a Shakespeare buff since graduate school, so putting all that together, I got the idea that our third neighborhood should be a modern-day telling of the Romeo and Juliet story. It was Montys and Capps (instead of Montagues and Capulets), and it just kind of wrote itself. We had fun creating the past family trees, where everyone had died young because they kept killing each other off in the ongoing vendetta.
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[JK] You know, I have never seen The Lone Gunmen, and I don't remember making any kind of direct references with the Strangetown Sims, other than the general Area 51 theme, as you point out. Charles London helped out a lot with naming Sims, and I'm pretty sure we owe "Vidcund" and "Lazlo" to him ... though many team members pitched in creatively. He may have had something in mind, but for me, I largely went off of very generic and stereotypical ideas when crafting these neighborhoods. I kind of wanted them to be almost "groaners" ... they were meant to be tropes in every sense of the word. And then we snuck in some easter eggs. But largely, we were trying to create a completely original lore.
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[JK] Well, I think we kind of pushed it with The Sims 2, to be honest, and I remember getting a little blow-back about Bunny Broke, for example. Bunny Broke was the original name for Brandi Broke. Not everyone found that funny, as I recall, and I can understand that. It must have been changed before we shipped.
We also almost shipped the first outwardly gay Sims in those neighborhoods, which was bold for EA back in 2004. My recollection was that we had set up the Dreamers to be gay (Dirk and Darren), but I'm looking back now and see that's not the case. So I'm either remembering incorrectly (probably) or something changed during development.
In general we just did things that we found funny and clever, and we just pulled from all the tropes of American life.
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[JK] The alien abduction started in Sims 1, with a telescope object that was introduced in the "Livin' Large" expansion pack. That's when some of the wackier ideas got introduced into the Sims lore. That pack shipped just before I joined Maxis in 2001; when I got there, the team had shipped "House Party" and was underway on "Hot Date". So I couldn't tell you how the original idea came about, but The Sims had this 50's Americana vibe from the beginning, and UFOs kind of played right into that. So the alien abduction telescope was a no-brainer to bring back in Sims 2. The male pregnancy was a new twist on the Sims 1 telescope thing. It must have been that the new version (Sims 2) gave us the tech and flexibility to have male Sims become pregnant, so while this was turned "off" for the core game, we decided to take advantage of this and make a storyline out of it. I think this really grew out of the fact that we had aliens, and alien DNA, and so it was not complicated to pre-bake a baby that would come out as an alien when born. The idea of a bunch of guys living together, and then one gets abducted, impregnated, and then gives birth to an alien baby ... I mean, I think we just all thought that was hilarious, in a sit-com kind of way. Not sure there was much more to it than that. Everything usually came from the designers discovering ways to tweak and play with the tech, to get to funny outcomes.
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[JK] Possibly we were just testing the functionality of the Wants/Fears and Memories systems throughout development, and some stuff got left over.
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[JK] I can't remember, but that sounds like something we would have done! I'm pretty sure we laid the groundwork for more stories that we ended up delivering :) But The Sims 2 was a great foundation for a lot of continued lore that followed.
--
I once again want to thank Jonathan Knight for granting me this opportunity and taking the time from his busy schedule to answer my questions.
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colleendoran · 1 year
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How Do I Do Stuff
The question was phrased a little strangely, and I don't want to embarrass the person by posting exactly what was said, but I'll answer it and hope this clears everything up.
I do almost all of my drawing by hand. No, I don't trace in Photoshop. Not a judgment on those who do, but I come from a generation of artists who did not use Poser programs or other digital tools. We learned to draw using a technique called the Sight Size method. I know a lot of people assume everyone - including the old masters - traced everything using optical tools, but while it is true some people did, it is just as true that most didn't, and you can draw with great accuracy if you learned how to draw the old fashioned way.
Sight Size breaks everything down into its barest components of geometric shapes and you build from there. Once you learn it, you never forget, and it applies to everything you will ever draw.
I learned it using a set of Famous Artist Course books my mom had since she was a kid, and they are still the gold standard. They're often on ebay. If I were you, I'd buy them.
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I actually find using figure reference really annoying because I like exaggerations and modifications from reality in my final work.
This page from Neil Gaiman's Chivalry was drawn and painted without figure reference of any kind.
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I don't know why people assume I trace all the time. If you were to try to use photographs to replicate these figures, you would find they are slightly off. There is no tracing here.
This is not to say I never use reference. This page, for example, was referenced from a photo of my mother. Isn't she pretty.
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But this page of Sir Galaad was drawn and painted without reference.
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He's pretty, too.
If he were real, I'm sure a lot of people would be very happy about it. But he's not. And had I reference, the art would have gone a lot faster. I had a time trying to nail this face that is very alive in my head but doesn't really exist.
Back in the ancient days, all cartoonists had to learn to draw and paint extemporaneously because reference was limited and digital tools didn't exist. While some high end artists had photography studios and professional models with costume and sets on hand, small fry like me were limited to what was in the house or available at my small local library, which was no bigger than a few rooms of my current house.
Artists kept extensive "morgue files" or "swipe files" which were collected from magazine clippings and photographs so we would have as much of what we might need on hand for quick reference. These ephemera collections could get unwieldy. I have thousands of photographs I've simply never sorted. I finally dumped most of my files this past year.
Have I ever traced anything? Of course, especially if I have to re-use a shot or setting over and over. Making extra work for myself is just silly. It's my job to make pictures, not to perform magical feats, like copying one shot after another over and over without making a mistake.
However, for almost 15 years of my career, I refused to copy or trace anything, and did not even own a lightbox. On the one hand, that forced me to learn to carefully examine what I saw. On the other hand, it was a stupid hill on which many deadlines died.
Only after I realized many professional artists had lightboxes and overhead projectors did I finally break down and get one.
The one thing I use my lightbox for more than anything is for tracing my thumbnail sketches to the final drawing paper. Instead of trying to capture the liveliness of the original sketch by copying what I see - only bigger - I blow the thumbnail up to the size I want the final art to be, then I trace over the thumbnail using a lightbox onto the final drawing paper.
Here's a look at thumbnails from the graphic novel Neil Gaiman's Snow, Glass, Apples.
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I enlarged these on my computer to fit onto 11"x14" paper, and traced the thumbs before finishing the art which was drawn in pen and ink and colored in Photoshop.
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While I obviously made some changes, the essence of the thumbs is there in the final work. Tracing my thumbs retains some of the looseness of the original sketches, which is often lost otherwise.
So, there is a valid purpose to tracing at times, though in my opinion, too much tracing can weaken drawing ability, substitute for developing skills, and make the work kind of stiff.
If you want to, I'm not your judge. But it's weird to me that people think I must be faking my skills in some way.
Ironically, the word cartoon comes from the Italian word cartone, which is a large heavy sheet of paper - also, the origin of the word carton.
Preparatory sketches were made on this paper which was then transferred to the final work surface via either tracing or by stamping little holes in the paper through which dust was sprinkled, recreating the contours of the drawing for the artist to follow.
So the origin of the word cartoon comes from a process often used...for tracing.
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infamous-if · 10 months
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✮ CH. 2 PART I ✮ 92k (+86k) -> 178k ✮
PLAY CHAPTER 2: PART I
It's here! First, sorry for the long wait. Chapter 2 has proven to be a behemoth, and I'd gotten sick this past week, my computer broke, my documents went kaput and I had to do some Frankensteining for the last few pages of this part. I'm not too worried, as Part II update can help smooth out all the kinks. I will definitely be looking for beta testers once chapter 2 is complete ha
Anywho! Enough about my problems. This demo update adds 86k words (86, 818 to be exact) and is the first part of a two part chapter. Which means the narrative in this chapter is not complete, but I kind of closed it off at a pretty satisfying place. As with every Infamous chapter, this is very character driven. So have fun!
What to expect in Chapter Two PART I:
get on the bus & deal with the consequences of your actions lol
arrive to your first tour stop and do your first gig...which might get messy (both literally and figuratively)
hang with a familiar father and daughter duo
have some heart to hearts/ some cheeky little POV passages
meet more BOTB crew and learn exactly what's in store for you this season
get roped in some ValenReign mess !
Maintenance:
this chapter has a lot of flavor text, or at least, more than the demo did, so if there are any errors or if there are lines that don't correspond with your choices, please let me know so i can fix that!
you will no longer be forced to write your own lyrics and the update will offer you pre-written lyrics by yours truly. im not t swift so i would advise you not to expect professional level songwriting, but they work well enough lolol
lyrics page is up as well as stats, but i don't really like the system i used to balance it, mostly because new...stat things will be added as the story goes on, so that's still getting reworked. still, good enough for now, as there are some personality stat checks!
Prologue and Chapter 1 errors/typos/grammatical bits fixed. (Wouldn't be surprised if I missed some though...) + variables updated.
Scenes not showing up fixed. hopefully, that huge error in which it throws you back to the fight after returning to the house is fixed (It was a bit wonky for me, hopefully it works for everyone else)
Stat and relationship pages updated ( + lyric page to look back at all your lyrics).
Can choose to be asexual and any sexual scenes will be skipped or replaced with romantic scenes. Flavor text in which MC displays any sort of sexual desire will be skipped. (This option comes up during Dakota's party scene. If not, it will show up when it presents itself again.) (Nothing sexual has come up yet, but if there are any scenes or even lines/ internal thoughts that should be skipped or changed for Asexual MCs, please let me know!)
If there are errors or anything, im always open. I've play tested but you girl is always prone to errors. As always, thank you for your love and enthusiasm! It makes me really happy and motivates me to keep writing ! <3
(Also, if you're thinking "omg amy how did you go from 65k to 86k?!" i don't want to talk about it /j)
See you on tour!
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saeist · 9 months
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"how many times do i have to say it? no" nagi breathes out, barely even acknowledging your presence as he continues to play on his computer in his dorm room
with a loud huff, loud enough for him to hear even with his headphones on, you flop down at his bed, sprawling your arms around as you stare up at his ceiling
"c'mon sei! i'm literally almost legal but yet i still don't even have a first boyfriend, let alone a first kiss!" you complained, throwing your hands over you face
you see nagi shrug before retorting something along the lines of 'what does that have to do with me'
"nagiiiiii" you drag out, hoping to get a reaction from him. to which, you do get a reaction from him! his signature look of boredom.
"fine. i'll help you"
"yay" you clapped your hands
"only if you buy me 5 battlepasses and whatever i want on the nightmarket" nagi bargains
with a deep sigh, you agree "fine!"
after a bit of more complaining to nagi that you were infact bitchless for most of your life and you're getting a little desperate to get some action as you are a junior in college and two, most of your other friends that isn't nagi are in relationships which makes you a tad bit jealous that you are gonna die alone anyway without getting some any action
you don't know how you even got to this point of the conversation where whether or not nagi has or had been in relationships but here you are now
"so wait, let me get this straight.." you pause, holding your palm out as a way of making nagi pause whatever he's mumbling about, "you already kissed someone?"
nagi shrugs again, "it was only because of some spin the bottle shit reo made me play at some party we went to"
"so that makes you experienced then?"
"not really"
"but you already have your first kiss?"
"i guess?"
"then you are experienced!"
nagi gives you a puzzled look as he lies down next to you. "what do you want me to do then?" he asked, just so he can be done with it
"i want you to teach me how to kiss" you turn to look at him with a glint of your eyes that basically screams "i am determined to get the perfect first kiss with someone i will pursue"
nagi looks dumbfounded at your completely bizarre request. he looked at you like you just grew a second head
"what the fuck"
in the end nagi does eventually give in (not because you totally bribed him again into buying him an entire collection worth of items at his nightmarket and some battlepasses that could easily be around 3 months worthwhile)
so now here you were, seated across from nagi, ready to learn how to kiss and what better way to learn than to ask your best (and only) friend at your college!
"so do i just close my eyes or..?" you start, beginning to feel self aware at the situation that you brought yourself onto
"i'd prefer that" nagi retorts, making you giggle a bit because of how funny he sounded
"okay.. okay" you breathe, closing your eyes as you slowly start leaning in.
"... my eyes are now closed"
for the record, nagi didn't really mind nor care if you opted to opening your eyes while doing this whole thing but he just doesn't want to see you see him all worked up
"i'm leaning in" nagi warns you, so that you won't feel like he's being invasive or all that funky shit. basically he just didn't want you to get the wrong idea
and so, your lips meet.
"congrats, you got your first kiss" nagi casually says as not even a millisecond later, he pulls away and moves to the other side of his bed
"nagi! that was barely even a kiss!"
"how would you know if you never had it before this?" he retorts, making you heat up in partial embarrassment because it was true that you didn't have your first kiss yet and the other reason being which that he was technically your first kiss
"i-i just know, okay damn it!" you stammered, "let's do it again!"
"if you want to kiss me that badly just say so" nagi attempts to make a joke to lighten up the dampen mood but from what you think, he just worsened the whole situation
"haha very funny nag–" before you could even finish your sentence, nagi crashes his lips against yours.
instinctively you placed your hands over his chest to which he places them over his neck, giving him more room to suck your face off.
you may or may not have accidentally moaned in the midst of this activity you two were doing which prompted into something more
you were now laying flat at his bed with him hovering you. still not breaking the kiss whatsoever. his shirt long gone, now at the floor. everything was going smooth
that is until reo decides it would be the most perfect time to barge in to tell nagi about how he just got a new pair of soccer shoes that were issued at the latest soccer magazine
"nagi! you'll never believe what i just got! it's the one messi just wore at the cover of– JESUS CHRIST"
reo basically shrieked, shielding his eyes with said magazine.
you and nagi basically separated. your eyes dart to nagi's shirtless body and to reo who was looking between you and nagi. just in time for a hypothetical light bulb to pop up at the top of his head
"oh.. i'm just gonna" reo throws his thumb back at nagi's door and dashes out before yelling "be safe you two!"
when the door closes, you and nagi both sigh in relief that he was gone but the damage was done
"well.."
"uhh.." you fiddled with your fingers, unable to look at nagi in the eye.
"how was that then as your first lesson?" as always, nagi just seems to find a way to try and cut the atmosphere although this time, it worked.
"it was a splendid demonstration. i'll rate it a 8/10" you applaud
nagi crawls over to you with a small mischievous glint in his eyes. he traps you in between his arms as he stares down at you.
"just an 8?"
feeling a little frisky, and obviously enjoying what was going on earlier right before reo interrupted, you decide that maybe learning from nagi wouldn't hurt a thing or two
you throw your hands over nagi's neck before responding to him
"could you show me how you did that thing earlier with your tongue again? i couldn't quite get that" you say in a fake curious tone making nagi chuckle
"okay. let me demonstrate it to you again. thoroughly" nagi whispers before catching your lips with his.
you went to school with nagi's hoodie the next day and people (and reo) could only guess why
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equalseleventhirds · 1 year
Text
"I don't understand how I'm losing," Reigen said, his hands flying over his keyboard. It was so late now—too late, maybe—if only he'd used the same technique as with the Player Killer from the beginning, he might have stood a chance, but he hadn't seriously thought he'd lose—
"Shishou," Mob said, "why is this so important? You already have second place from Twitter."
Reigen laughed, not at all nervously, and splayed a hand across his forehead. "You don't understand, Mob. The publicity from something like this, even a rematch, would do wonders for Spirits and Such. This is about business."
(He would never admit to his pride being on the line.)
"And anyway, who is this guy? A radio host? I've been on TV, you know."
Mob carefully did not bring up what had actually happened when Reigen made his television debut.
Ritsu had no such qualms. "When they exposed you as a fraud? That was publicity too, right?"
"Hey—!"
Serizawa leaned over Reigen's shoulder to see the computer screen, careful not to spill the tea he placed on the desk. "Oh, Cecil from Welcome to Night Vale? It's been a while since I listened to that, maybe I should catch up."
Reigen stared at him. "You? What? Serizawa?"
"Ah... yeah." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Back when I was... well, when I didn't leave my room much, the podcast was popular. I guess it gave a sense of... community? Feeling less alone, even when you are." He shrugged. "Plus, hearing another gay man in a show like that was comforting."
"He's gay? Canonically?" Why can't I be gay canonically?
"Sure, he got married in episode 100. It was very emotional."
"I nearly died in our chapter 100—"
-- -- -- -- --
Well, listeners, there's still a few hours left on the poll, but I'm now leading at 56%! I must say, I did not expect this, especially after Twitter users so clearly forgot—or perhaps never knew—about my Tumblr Sexyman Origins.
But, that's neither here nor there. I certainly am grateful, if a bit bemused, about all of this, but let us not forget that this is all a friendly competition. Unlike the annual War On Christmas—and let us all take a moment to remember our fallen allies against that terrible holiday foe—this is a battle of kindness. Love, even. The love we feel for Tumblr, for our favorite sexy men, for pressing a button on a meaningless internet poll. The love we feel, listeners, for each other.
And in the spirit of that love and friendliness, I figured I'd get to know my opponent a little better! A bit of googling, which of course you know means searching via every search engine but Google, what with the Town Council imposing the Google Search Tax and getting all Night Vale IP addresses shadowbanned, has led me to... oh my, listeners. I do not know who made this, but Reigen Arataka has the single most beautiful professional web page I have ever encountered. It's... words do not do it justice. I am tearing up. This... I could not make anything better myself.
A-hem. Listeners, now that I've wiped away the tears such beauty inspired in me, I can now see that Reigen's website advertises his business, one Spirits and Such Consulting. Well! We may be rivals in this moment, but I am overjoyed to learn that Reigen runs such an innovative and important business! I am nearly ashamed that, while my opponent works to make the world a better place, I, a mere community radio host, am winning the sexyman contest.
Nevertheless, we must respect the polls. Not respecting polls could get us in hot water with the Town Council, or with the demigods of numbers who lurk in the sharp edges of percentages. So since I can't hand my victory over to him, I think I'll do what I can as a community radio host, and promote Reigen Arataka's important business!
So if you're a spirit in need of counseling, a ghost in need of therapy, or an eldritch beast in need of a shoulder to cry on, head on over to Seasoning City and pay our good friend Reigen a visit! I'm sure he'll be pleased as anything to see you.
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matrixbearer2024 · 3 months
Note
not a request but i just wanna get an idea that i absolutely MUST get out of my brain before it consumes my entire being. So, your “get off my screen series”. You know that trend where ppl put that one vox vid of his face on their tv and put like hus hat and/or body attached to the tv. Imagine vox somehow finds a way to do that and y/n just does this.
THATS IT LMAO ABSOLUTELY LOVE AND ADORE YOUR SERIES. ANYTIME I SEE IT’S UPDATED IT MAKES MY DAY<3
TikTok Trending, Posts and Memes
Vox x CollegeStudent!Reader
A/N: With how many ideas you guys have at this point I might just continue to write short scenarios for this AU with all the ideas you guys are giving me- it's absolutely amazing seeing what y'all come up with and I'm just living for it hahahaha! Thank you guys so much!
The week you had was... interesting to say the least.
Vox had challenged you to at least take up basic programming, claiming you were too impatient to learn.
So you, being the persistent and stubborn you-
Decided to prove him wrong.
Besides, it can't be that bad if he knows how to do it.
You wouldn't tell him because it'd probably make him butthurt-
But you were sure Vox was 1000% more impatient than you.
You took up computer science for extra credit, quickly learning the ins and outs of basic coding.
It was just a world of syntax and numbers but you definitely found it fun.
And useful too-
Especially when you wanted to explicitly screw with others.
Vox may or may not have slightly taught you how to hack.
But you weren't using it for anything bad!
Just to change the final grade of some asshole students so they'd have to repeat the class.
That's what they get for just randomly tripping you in the hall the other day.
Vox was slightly proud but also kind of concerned-
You'd definitely end up where he was at this rate.
Thankfully though, you decided not to do anything too crazy since.
Instead you've been messing around on your devices alongside the tech overlord.
From practicing how to send him encrypted messages-
To straight up just shitposting all over his monitors.
It's not so fun now is it Voxxy?
You would sometimes try to transfer him around to other devices that weren't your own to see if he could actually do anything.
Well, he could- but it only worked if he was directly connected to it.
Meaning he had to be plugged in.
How he was able to connect to all your devices wirelessly without limitation?
Neither of you had a clue.
You both first tested it on your best friend's phone, only for Vox to immediately go back to your computer and blow up your notifications.
"Nope nope nope nope, that's the last time I let you plug me into some random fucking phone-"
"What?? What happened??? And it's not random, it's (Friend Name)'s Phone."
"Dollface, you know Valentino right? The one I told you about?"
"The pornstar? What about?"
You didn't exactly like where this conversation was going.
You had an inkling where it would end and you were already cringing.
"Yeeaaaah, I've known him for quite some time so I would think I've seen nearly everything."
"Get to the point Vox-"
"And yet I am somehow utterly disgusted by your friend's search history."
"Yeah, uh... I'd rather you don't tell me."
"I figured. Though it makes me curious about what yours looks like."
That gave you pause, given how Vox had practically invaded your entire computer-
Hell, he even gave your files a new sorting system-
You were surprised he hadn't gone through your search history.
Of all the things you'd think that was what he'd ransack first.
"You haven't checked my search history yet?"
"Why would I? It's not like I'm trying to find your secret porn stash or something."
"Bruh, why would I even have that."
"Your friend had one, I just guessed."
"Touché."
You were a little touched that Vox cared about you enough not to really dig into your secrets.
Or well, the things you wanted to keep secret.
For a big bad overlord, he was kind of a sweetheart.
"Okay now I definitely wanna see what you've got hidden in there-"
"FUCK OFF YOU STUPID OLD PICTUREBOX-"
"YOU CAN'T STOP ME BITCH-"
You know what, you retracted your previous statement.
He's a fucking jerk.
Vox quickly dug through your search history while the tiny desktop companion in his likeness refused to give you control over the cursor.
You couldn't stop him even if you tried.
His phone blew up from notifications with you cursing at him or just calling him names.
He just laughed at your dismay and continued to dig through.
Okay- wow.
While he didn't initially expect it from you, Vox reckoned he probably should've.
Much like how people had celebrity crushes, he figured you would have your own.
It just so happened that it wasn't a celebrity and it was a fictional character instead.
He kind of felt like someone slapped him in the face actually, even if he didn't know why.
"Soooooo- (Favorite Character Name) huh?"
"Shaddup-"
"This? This is your type???"
"IT'S A FICTIONAL CRUSH GET OVER IT-"
While you were practically steaming from the ears in embarrassment, Vox was just laughing and dealing with his mixed feelings.
On one hand, he found your reactions absolutely entertaining and hilarious.
On the other hand, he didn't even know who or what this character was and he already disliked them.
Just a gut feeling.
He continued to tease you for it though, bringing up more cringe parts of your search history much to your chagrin.
It wasn't really anything bad that you couldn't take, it was just so embarrassing that you'd rather he didn't dig any of it up.
So in the heat of the moment, wanting to get Vox off your computer- you plugged it into the only other active device he wasn't connected.
Your TV.
It was nearly instant, he went from teasing and texting to you to a befuddled face on the larger screen.
But what was more surprising, was he could actually see you this time.
It wasn't filtered over with static like when he'd first met you.
The live feed even had audio, which was just entirely unexpected too.
Who knew, plug a TV demon into his specific medium and he could actually operate properly?
But that's how you guys ended up figuring out how to connect his digital presence to your TV.
By entire surprise and from just fucking around.
"Oh my god that worked-"
"(Y/N)? Holy hell! I can actually see you!"
"I did not think that would work-"
"Wow, are you really that short or is your TV just perched up that high?"
You just flipped him the bird and Vox laughed at you again.
Though, you couldn't help but smile because of it.
Well, at least now he could converse with you "properly" like he'd wanted to for a while.
Even if it did mean he'd need to take up your entire TV.
"Oh- OH WAIT- I've got an idea!"
Vox couldn't even question what you were doing before you ran out of the room and out of his sight.
So while waiting, he took a gander at the room you left him in.
It became abundantly clear that this was your living space too.
From the colors to the patterns, Vox smiled fondly as he recalled your old conversations where you would just tell him things about the things you liked.
Yeah, he could definitely see your touch in how the room was designed.
He raised an eyebrow when you giddily came back into the room with some colored paper, scissors and tape.
What-?
"Okay Doll, just what are you planning?"
"You'll see~!"
Your excitement kept him curious.
What were you drawing over there?
Weird timing for an arts and crafts project if you asked him.
It was only until you approached him and taped something to the screen did he actually grow confused.
He couldn't see what you did despite you doubling over in laughter.
What could've possibly been so funny that had you keeling from it?
By the time you could finally look at Vox without laughing your ass off, you used your phone to take a picture of how he looked.
Approaching the TV to show him just so he could see the photo as well.
Ah.
So that's what you found so funny.
You'd fashioned his outfit-
Poorly made but still recognizable-
Out of paper and taped it to the screen.
His hat on top and his suit dangling off the bottom.
Admittedly, it looked downright silly.
Especially with the proportions being so off thanks to the size of the TV screen.
"Haha, very funny (Y/N). Very funny."
"I'm making this shit my wallpaper, you look so goofy."
Vox just playfully rolled his eyes at you with a smile.
If that was seriously all it took to make you laugh?
He'd do it again no questions asked.
Taking a peek at his internal clock though, he held back his disappointment that he had to leave when you were on such an elated high.
"Sorry to cut this short doll, but I need to disconnect. I've got a meeting in a few minutes."
"Hm? Then go and do what you need to do, I can always just plug you back in later. Good luck!"
The overlord chuckled when you raised a hand to pat the screen, he couldn't feel it but he wished he did.
"I don't need luck, but... thanks. See you."
"See you."
And just like that the screen fizzled out and returned to the smart TV homepage.
You'd sent the picture to Vox through your chats and he replied with a TV emoticon.
You giggled, course he would do that.
At least he didn't take offense to what you did-
Despite your poor art skills-
Maybe he found it as entertaining as you did?
Whatever, you switched the wallpaper on your phone to the new photo you had of Vox and laughed.
His confused expression really sealed the deal with how silly the picture was.
But imagine your surprise come morning when you realized he didn't switch the wallpaper back to his trademark grin.
You sort of expected him to, especially given that he'd done so with all your past attempts to change your wallpaper.
The fact he left it alone made you smile.
And as the day began and Vox left you a morning greeting-
You just shot him one back and got up to prepare for the day.
You figured the day would be just fine.
Yeah, you guys would be just fine.
A/N: Ooough this was a long one but I had a lot of fun writing it! I'll post the masterlist afterwards when I grab all the links to the posts and I'll just be continuing the other interludes before I post the chapter with Reader's death. Either way, I hope you guys enjoyed this one!
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neil-gaiman · 1 year
Note
Hi Mr Gaiman. I wanted to ask a very mundane question, how do you physically write /what do you write with?
Right now my PC is broken and I wrote a really good first chapter (without saving, rookie mistake I know, my own silly fault) and it was deleted. It really disheartened me and my story is mostly just scribbles on about 20 scraps of a4 paper now. I have Dyspraxia so writing coherent sentence structures is a struggle and using Word or something like that really helps. I hate to sound like the gen Z I am but how did you keep all your ideas together and write them so well before stuff like word was commonplace?
I'd handwrite first drafts, then type out the next draft single-spaced on scrap paper (so I couldn't submit it and also to save money on paper), fix that draft up and then type it out again, this time double-spaced on good paper.
Then I went onto computers and I learned both to save everything AND to always assume the computer would be struck by lightning or something. I once had to reconstruct the second half of a novel from inspecting the drive manually with Norton Utilities and chunks of novel I'd emailed to friends...
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writingstoraes · 1 year
Text
total swiftie 🎶
pairing: charles leclerc/fem!reader
type: instagram imagine/social media au
notes: this was requested but somehow i cant find it in my inbox :(( anyway i hope u like this, anon! happy the eras tour 🤍 sorry this took so long lol
about: it's your life mission to convert charles into a total swiftie.
yourusername
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liked by pierregasly, isahernaez, carlossainz55, and 234,592 others
yourusername i once believed love would be burning red — but it's golden, like daylight 🌅
appreciation post for the personification of the lover album, songs and the entire english vocabulary are not enough to express how much i adore u 🤍
(ps. pls join me in being a swiftie baby)
tagged: charles_leclerc
charles_leclerc As much as I want to, I just can't grasp the folklore love triangle, amoúr
f1swift LMAO NOT THE FOLKLORE LOVE TRIANGLE??? Y/N SO REAL FOR THIS
lecsmidnight absolutely right queen charles is such a lover album
sainzz55 more like 1989???
pierregasly I caught Charles today watching the Bejeweled music video if it helps 😅
charles_leclerc MATE
yourusername awwww baby :((
charles_leclerc
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liked by pierregasly, arthurleclerc, lorenzotl, and 1,329,112 others
charles_leclerc Spontaneous adventure around the city at night + my passenger princess ❤️ (She races me for the AUX and blasts Taylor songs the whole ride in her efforts to convert me into a swiftie)
tagged: yourusername
yourusername anddd how am i doing so far?
charles_leclerc Getting close 😘
leclercs13 y/n converting charles into a swiftie is just so real of her
carlossainz55 Just be a swiftie Charles, Midnights is so good 😁
yourusername SEE YOU GET IT CARLOS
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charles_leclerc
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liked by carlossainz55, leclerc_pascale, lorenzotl, and 1,892,330 others
charles_leclerc How I masterminded my way into catching my girlfriend by surprise with the fact that I actually am a Swiftie:
1. Adore how passionate she becomes when talking about her favorite artist
2. Let her rant about album theories, which "Taylor's version" we get next, and finally listen properly when she explains the folklore love triangle
3. Learn Taylor Swift's entire discography, from debut until now
4. Pester the whole grid in helping me get The Eras front row tour tickets
5. Surprise her with the concert tickets and just watch her have the time of her life (surprised that I know the lyrics to the songs)
6. Just when she thinks the night ends at the concert, take her to a magnificent dinner and propose using a "Paper Rings" reference.
isahernaez Oh my god the big surprise is finally here! Congratulations, you two 🥂
lecs13 WHAT THE FUCK WAS THE LAST STEP IM GONNA RIP MY HAIR OUT
sainzzhero charles proposing what the actual FUCK I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING
danielricciardo ...I am so honored to be the one who got the tickets (me and my fast typing skills)
landonorris You only got those cause my computer lagged 😒
carlossainz55 You two arguing I was literally the first one on the website
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yourusername
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liked by lilymhe, alex_albon23, pierregasly, and 507,991 others
yourusername i like shiny things, but i'd marry you with paper rings, charles_leclerc 💍
except you actually got me a real ring, but i would have said yes as long as it's you. je tàime, my love 🤍
charles_leclerc Excited to spend the rest of my life screaming Taylor Swift songs in the car with you, baby 😚
c2legends such goals im going to cry
charles1655 GOD ME WHEN
lewishamilton Congratulations, Y/N and Charles 🥂 Swiftie Charles is a refreshing new side of him hahaha
carlossainz55 Best wishes, you two! Please remember: I was the first on the ticket website. Don't believe whatever Daniel says 😁
arthur_leclerc Welcome to the family, Y/N! I also want tour tickets 🙏
--------
tagging: @slytherheign
notes: this took some time to make lol ANYWAYYYY thank you so much for reading and lmk what u guys think! 🤍 tumblr is giving me a hard time right now apparently the formatting is weird in ios devices 🥹 like the bold texts are all off n shit and it wont let me fix it 😭
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mummydommythe3rd · 1 month
Text
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BLACKMAILED PART 1/3
I watched the latest video you sent me and laughed as I typed out my response.
"Good! That's enough practice! Now altogether! Do a curtsey, showing the bulk of your diaper, say 'Oh, I have to make poopies!', crouch down, and then smile into the camera and say 'Making Poopies make me so horny!' Then you can release your enema. God it? Go!"
A few minutes later I got the perfect video back. I had to hold back a laugh as I watched you humiliate yourself.
I hadn't even meant for it to go this far, but you were so gullible and easy to convince. When I first saw your profile on that kink site, and saw that one of your listed kinks was 'blackmail'...the plan had been growing and taking shape in my mind.
I messaged you and you informed me that you wanted to be blackmailed into doing all kinds of sexy things, whatever I wanted. Luckily for me 'sexy' is a very broad term that can describe many things to lots of people...including diapers.
The first thing I did was ask you your address and the numbers of a few people close to you. After all, is it even a blackmail kink if there's no danger?
After that, the tasks started easily enough. 'go suck your dildo and send me the video.' then it was 'wear a pair of panties'. It was somewhat of a challenge since you were still living at home, but soon I had you jerking off in your 'borrowed' panties, and fucking yourself with increasingly larger dildos.
Then I sent you your first package of diapers. You tried to rebel, you said this was too far...but I just responded with: "lol, stop fussing and go put on your diaper... Unless you want your mom to watch a fun video of you licking your jizz from her panties." You, of course, crumbled like a ball of dry sand.
From there it only got worse and worse for you. DIapers, latex dresses, all kinds of gags and restraints. I could just picture you panicking and rushing to beat your family to snatch away a package and sequester it away in your room before anyone else could notice the many packages you were receiving.
Last week though, I got drunk and decided to message you something I would have never sent sober.
"Blackmailing you under social pressure is getting kind of old. Wouldn't legal pressure be so much more fun? Why don't you go do a crime for me. That way I know you'll always be mine."
"WHAT?! I CAN'T DO THAT!" you responded immediately.
"You have 48 hours to get me ten grand from your work or I'll send all your videos to your parents, your friends, and everyone else you've ever met."
the three dots showed you typing something, but I just turned off my computer and went to bed. To be honest I completely forgot about it. I was so drunk that my memories of the night were pretty hazy. The app we used didn't allow screenshots, and the texts were automatically deleted within an hour, so how was I supposed to remember? The only evidence of any of our interactions was the large folder of videos and pictures you'd sent me.
My memory only came back when you texted me again "I have the money. Management is pissed AF but they have no idea who did it. Please don't make me do that again!"
I immediately remembered everything and why I wanted you to get that money. I was just shocked that you'd actually gotten it!
"That's great baby! Now send me a video admitting to the theft. Tell the camera how you stole it because you were thinking of all the pretty diapers and dildos that much money could buy. Be cute! Girly! Bubbly!"
You left the message on read for a while. I could picture you anxiously pacing your room, freaking out at how far this had all gone.
"You have two minutes for a convincing confession...or your family and friends are going to learn a lot about you very quickly."
The video came soon after. As I'd trained you, you burbled and smiled like a ditzy baby-bimbo, describing the sizes and pretty colors of diapers you could get, and how you could now get all the dildos you could ever want. More crucially, you admitted to the theft, and even showed the money you'd taken.
All of that had led up to now. I smiled as I watched your latest video with the volume muted. your face was childishly wrinkled as you filled your diaper with the massive enema.
I almost didn't send the next message. It was almost too mean, but I couldn't resist. I had to see how far this could go.
"Good girl! Now, dressed just as you are, I want you to walk into whatever room your family is in right now."
"BUT I'VE DONE EVERYTHING YOU ASKED!!" you screamed via text.
"I'm not sending them anything!" I stated.
"WHY! PLEASE! I'LL DO ANYTHING!"
"You sure will! 😂 you're going to walk in there and admit to being a pathetic little baby, and you're going to beg on your hands and knees that they convert your bedroom into a nursery."
"I CAN'T DO THAT!"
"Sure you can. Beg, cry, and scream like a toddler if you have to...I have a feeling you'll be crying anyway, so you might as well use it to get your nursery."
You started to type something multiple times, but there was nothing to say, so I sent another message.
"You're going to show them that money. You're going to tell them you saved up all of it just for this nursery. Show them pictures of other adult baby nurseries. Babble excitedly about cribs, changing tables, high chairs, dresses, dollies, stuffies...THE WORKS! You're to insist on 24/7 diapers and chastity because you just can't resist blowing your little loads into your pampers. Maybe later when you're desperate you can beg your sister-in-law to hook you up with a bull and let a real man fuck you."
"PLEASE NO! PLEASE I'M BEGGING YOU!"
"You're going to do it all, or everyone gets everything. In addition to being outed as a Huggies-humping little pervert, you'll be a felon. There's really no choice at all for you, is there?"
"WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!"
"I believe everyone should live their honest true lives. You're a pathetic baby-dicked little pervert, and now you get to live like it!"
"I CAN'T!"
"Start a video recording on your phone, then put it in your pocket. Walk into the living room and tell them everything about the life you need. after you send that video tonight, I'll break contact with you for a while.
"You'll be done with me? Really?
"For a bit. Just to give you and your family some time. In a month I'll give you a call. If your phone is disconnected, I'll call your mom and pretend to be an old school friend."
"Why?!"
"To make sure you did your job. If you're not living full-time in a nursery as I've already described, I'll release everything, and you can be a baby in prison instead of a baby with your family."
There was no way out. You knew it. I knew it. There was nothing you could do or say. Even if you only asked for some of the babyish things, I'd eventually be told the truth. Your life was starting over right now, and you had to come to terms with it.
"They'll kick me out of the house! They won't do any of that stuff you want!" You whined.
"You'd be surprised. I bet at least one family member will take great interest in aiding with your transformation."
"My step-sister, maybe, but she hates me! She'll make my life an utter nightmare! Please! What if I do something else even MORE Embarrassing?!?" You begged.
"Good luck. Make sure you ask for hormones too. Time for you to upgrade from those cheap breast forms." I responded curtly, and then turned off my laptop.
I knew what you were doing. You were toddling back and forth in your soiled diaper, cursing me, cursing yourself, wondering how you could have been so stupid, trying to find the nonexistent way out of your literal and figurative mess.
I watched the movie playing on the living room TV and waited.
You walked into the room. Immediately, Mom and my Step-dad looked at you and burst into laughter. I joined them. You didn't notice that my laugh was borne from victory as much as amusement. My mom and your dad both thought this was some prank or joke...some dare that you'd lost. My mom laughed until she was crying while you just stood there, fidgeting and looking at the floor.
You squished forward wincing as the dress squeaked and rustled with your every move.
"Hey step-bro, you've never looked better! It fits you!" I laughed.
You shot me a dirty hate-filled look, then turned to the parents. Your face was bright cherry-red; far redder than I'd ever seen before.
"D-dad....Mom....There's, um, well. Something I need to tell you."
You looked at me with a dagger-laden glance before adding "In private!"
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incorrectbatfam · 1 year
Note
The batfam as teacher comment section in report card.
Dick: Mr. Grayson brings a contagious energy to the class and his enthusiasm is well-appreciated. However, he tends to channel that energy very physically and while that may benefit his learning, it's a disruption to other students. This is a frequently recurring issue that I would like to discuss with a parent or guardian.
Translation – Is this kid ADHD because he won't sit the FUCK down
Jason: Mr. Todd has displayed remarkable attention to detail and a love of literature that I can only attribute to positive reinforcement at home, and he's always a pleasure to have in class. As much as I appreciate seeing him apply his lessons outside of school hours, I believe there are more productive avenues of discussing Shakespearean playwriting with his peers than what he has been reportedly doing. 
Translation – Stop biting your thumb at people
Tim: Mr. Drake continues to exceed expectations in his schoolwork, but his attendance and participation may become a detriment to his overall grades if unaddressed. I have caught him sleeping in class on multiple occasions but he has yet to provide me a reason why he is so tired. Additionally, last month one of our monitors caught him loitering in the bathroom with a note that I did not recall writing. 
Translation – Get some sleep and also you can't make your own hall passes
Damian: I have had the privilege of teaching the Wayne family through my decades at this institution and I believe that Damian takes after his father the most in more ways than expected. His grades are stellar and he is well-organized, but I'm noticing familiar and concerning traits in his attitude and social interactions. I am requesting a meeting with his parent to understand the full context so I can devise a plan for out how to best support him. 
Translation – Forget falling, the apple is still on the damn tree
Duke: Mr. Thomas has been a pleasure to have in my chemistry lab and is always willing to help classmates who are struggling. However, after last week's minor combustion reaction mishap, I think it would be worthwhile to review the lab safety packet that all students received at the beginning of the year. 
Translation – How did you set water on fire
Cullen: Mr. Row displays a passion for transformative literature and demonstrates a clear understanding of modern media culture that has helped him synthesize a lot of our complex readings. However, I'm concerned about his laptop being a distraction, especially with numerous incidences of him looking at non-academic material.  
Translation – Quit reading fanfics in class
Stephanie: You should be pleased to know that Miss Brown consistently keeps the well-being of her peers in mind. This semester, she launched a meal initiative for students whose needs could not be met by the school cafeteria. While we value her good intentions, she has been causing hallway obstructions and there are some regulatory concerns that we need to discuss. 
Translation – She sold pancakes in the halls without a permit
Cassandra: Although Miss Cain is relatively quiet in class, she continues to blow me away with her breadth of knowledge not just on class materials, but also interpersonal details. While this is a good skill to cultivate, we ask that she dial it back especially with our faculty. Additionally, please remember that the teacher's lounge is a staff-only space and students should remain in the common areas. 
Translation – She knows too much
Barbara: Miss Gordon is easily one of the best AP Computer Science students I've seen in my twenty years of teaching. She even went above and beyond the scope of our class to apply what we've learned to a greater school context. While that is deserving of credit, I'd also like to remind her that, in the future, certain ideas should be subjected to careful consideration before actions are taken. 
Translation – She hacked the lunch menu to make every day French Fry Friday 
Harper: Miss Row has a remarkable aptitude for the engineering process that exceeds beyond what students her age can typically grasp, and she is very inventive in her own right. That being said, I would appreciate it if she followed our lesson plans more closely and reviewed our guidelines for woodshop safety so everyone can continue to have a positive experience.
Translation – She made a working crossbow out of popsicle sticks
Carrie: Miss Kelley is a bright student who brings positive energy that is very much needed, especially in morning classes. However, she's been falling behind with several missing assignments at this point, and her explanations for why she cannot finish her work don't seem to be sufficient. 
Translation – "Killer Croc ate my homework" Yeah and I'm Batman
Kate: Miss Kane seems to be very eager to move forward to the next stage of her life, as evidenced by her Career Day presentation. While I believe young people should be free to explore their passions, I also think that Kate would benefit from some workshops outlining more feasible options. 
Translation – "Get bitches" isn't a career goal
Alfred: Mr. Pennyworth is easily one of the best students this institution has seen, both in his academic record and extracurricular activities. He recently expressed interest in the sharpshooting team, which I will not discourage him from, seeing how highly accurate he is. As of this year, I will be retiring as the coach for the team, but I wish him all the best.
Translation – I'm not about to get on his bad side
Selina: Miss Kyle's resourcefulness continues to astound me. Earlier in the semester, she forgot her locker combination and quickly improvised a mechanism to safely unlock it using only the materials around her. The speed and accuracy with which she did that will surely benefit her in the future. 
Translation – Did... did she just pick a lock with another lock?
Bruce: No further comments. 
Translation – whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck—
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hikari-ni-naritai · 3 months
Text
Saw a post a while back that pissed me off but I didn't want to complain about it bc my beloved mutuals were gleefully rbing it and I didn't want to offend op but it's been long enough and I'm done holding my tongue. The post was like "everyone says they'd hyperfixate on learning magic if it was real but I know u wouldn't bc it would be too much math for you and you don't care about math". I have many problems with this.
One, and perhaps the most obvious, if doing math would let me hurl lightning from my fingertips, I would be doing math. The main reason I am not doing math right now is bc it does not let me conjure lightning and doing math for its own sake does not interest me. The idea that the addition of a reward for one's effort could not possibly make anyone interested in putting forth effort goes against the entire history of human behavior.
Two, why is it assumed that magic would be math based? Because computers are math based and that's the closest thing we have to magic? Because technology is math based, and sufficiently advanced technology is indiscernible from magic? Foolish. Magic is a thing that, crucially, is not real. There are depictions of magic in art that depict a mathematical process, but this is not the only depiction of magic! There's component-based magic, chemistry-based magic, geometry-based magic, emotional-based magic, magic granted by higher powers, magic borrowed from the earth itself, spirit magic, inborn magic, somatic magic, verbal magic, programming magic, and frankly many others! The idea that any real application of magic would necessarily be math-based is nothing more than reckless guesswork by a mathematician.
AND THIRD, and this is important, even if it IS math based, the human brain is optimized for doing extremely complex math for basically everything we do. Consider the math involved in determining distance via parallax. If you showed me two pictures taken from slightly different angles, I couldn't tell you what equations I'd need to run to determine how far away the thing in the image is, but our eyes do that every single day without even thinking about it. Consider the physics involved with just walking down an empty hallway. We can't walk when we're born, but we learn to walk without any knowledge of physics or math. Consider the lightning fast calculations a baseball player must make to hit a pitch flying faster than a car. Do you think mickey mantle was doing equations in his head at bat? The human brain evolved to do applied mathematics by feel. Yes, it would probably take very advanced math skills to discover and create complex spells, but learning a simple cantrip? You could teach your 3 year old niece at the family barbecue as a prank on your brother who now has to deal with a toddler who can cast shocking grasp at will.
Anyway the point is that I would fucking learn to do magic nobody would be able to stop me.
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