#keyboard so much. 😭)
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found out while putting together matthias's oc page that his name has the exact same etymology and meaning as theo's name...
i’m sure this is information matthias is very normal about…
#theo is in fact a gift from god so jot that down !#river dipping#i've been throwing myself into oc stuff bc i'm not doing hot mentally which is... tbh when i do my best writing 😭#none of this is new tho i wrote the bios and 'at a glance' intros months and months ago when i first made an oc page#which is why i do plan on rewriting them but for now i'm leaving them like this... so i guess the echthroi page is done?#obviously echthroi has more characters than this but i haven't taken new screenshots of everyone yet...#i put the gray cas bg back in my game a few days ago only to completely forget i wanted to take new headshots for the oc page 😭#like these are just placeholders... i want the backgrounds to match the oc page. oh... or maybe i could just do transparent pics?#i think i remember vyx made a post abt how to do that... will look into that when i open the game again. rn i'm at my keyboard 🧑💻#like i am writing new things! started a google doc for theo yesterday and have been writing on it here and there since then#i've already cried in there... lmaooo. i like oc pages for sure but i think a huge google doc is what i really need to keep track of things#i drop so much lore in tags on here and it's like! river write that down somewhere else or you'll lose it 😭#like i fr have never actually written down any of the info i've shared on here. i've just had all this oc knowledge stored in my brain.#so i went through and copied over a tonnn of tags and posts i've made into google docs but i just know i'm missing things i've probably#said in the tags of their core tagged posts... 🧍 if my blog didn't have so many posts i'd have an easier time going through it but 🤷#and on top of that i've been making a bunch of posts about theo and matthias on my main acc. which is like 🧍 well great now there's more#i'm gonna lose track of...... i fr have gottt to get into the habit of actually putting things down in theo's google doc!!!#i'm just trying to figure out the best way to format it all but i've downloaded a few templates that i've been messing with.#...anyway. if it isn't obvious i'm trying to get back to posting on here. i'm opening my inbox now with the intent to just.#sit here in my inbox until i can get myself to reply. lads... avpd is actually so torturous i'm not kidding.#i feel like i'm dying trying to get myself to interact with people sometimes even despite how badly i want!!!! to interact!!!#theo and me and our avoidant trauma responses holding hands and skipping around together
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✨1,000 Followers Celebration!!✨
I can't describe how much being part of this community has meant to me. The first fic I posted here was in November in the middle of some major health and life crises (which I talk about in my about me post if you'd like to know), and I honestly don't know how I would have gotten through it without all of your support and encouragement, as well as all the laughs and good times that y'all have shared with me.
It blows my mind that there are 1,000 of you here 🤯🤯🤯 I'm so grateful for all the love, it means the world to me! 🖤🙏🏼
Here's what I've got going on:
I wanted to plan something extra special for this milestone, but y'all have been following me faster than I can write! For the 900 milestone I decided to circle back around to Numbers Game since it was the most requested fic, and I'm so happy that the bad men of the Cross Guild seem to be hitting the spot 😅
WIP Updates
I keep my current and upcoming wips + announcements listed on my pinned Masterlist post, and here's what I've got at the moment:
Numbers Game ~ Part 13 will be out later today!
Current WIPS: Numbers Game 14, and We've All Got Needs 28
Upcoming WIPS: Misty Eyes 6, 1 request, Wrong Side of the Bars 2, a few WAGN extra scenes, and 4 requests that came in while they were closed)
Announcements: Requests will remain closed until I complete the next batch of Numbers Game, as well as the requests on my list. I'm sorry for the delay, I keep turning them into multi-chaptered fics! If you've submitted a request, know that it is on my list, and I've already started outlining!
New Fic Rec Masterlist
I have been reading some amazing fics lately, please check out my new Fic Rec Masterlist, and show the authors some love!!
Fic & Personal Playlists
I never made playlists for writing until I was tagged in an ask game, and it was so fun! Typically my brain will only let me listen to the same 1-10 songs over and over for a month or more, lol. So in addition to the fic playlists I'm starting, I've made a playlist of my current hyperfixation songs if you'd like to check in on the sounds looping through my head that week 😅 Plus a dump playlist where I'm slowly adding all the past hyperfixation songs I can remember because sometimes I need to pull one back in when there's a void, lol.
I love getting song recs too! This reminds me of hooking up my dingy little ipod nano (that I still have, his name is Desmond 🥰) to all of my friend's computers to steal their music since I couldn't afford to buy my own 😅
TurtleTaub Current Hyperfixation Playlist
TurtleTaub All the Fixation's Playlist
Misty Eyes ~ Law x Reader Playlist
Bend Until You Break ~ Playlist
More to come, and feel free to send me song recs, they make me so happy 🥰🎶
Next Fic Poll
To celebrate this milestone I'm going to write one of the requests/wips of your choice that I've got on the books next.
| masterlist | about me | rules | ao3 | ko-fi |
#thank you so much!!! 🙏🏼😭#i'll keep on tapping on this keyboard#i'm sending you all love & hugs & cookies & beverages of your choice#y'all have made my year 🖤🖤🖤#turtletaub talks#follower appreciation#followers celebration#fic poll#one piece x reader
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Sunset Overdrive!
#sunset overdrive#the game is so much fun living out my dreams of skateboarding everywhere since i dont have time to do it anymore#the controls on the keyboard are atrocious tho 😭 and i dont have a working controller#myedit#dont talk to me or my spiderpunk at home:
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i seriously want to hug piepoe so tightly she deserves all the swilly swirl cotton candy sticks ,,, very srkunkly,,
i imagine piepoe as pusheen and anons/users as stormy,,
#you are SO RIGHT HONESTY!!!!#and thank you soo much for this very soft message...#you can always hug piepoe!!#make sure to eat and rest and drink water... sending lots of love!!!!#💖💘💖💓💓💖💓💖💖💓💘‼️‼️‼️‼️😭#*honestly... my keyboard is a lil weird rn so apologies for the errors!!!#Piepoe arts
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uhhhh why am i getting writing ideas ehrm.
#is it finally time... to pick up the keyboard and type 🧍🏻♀️🧍🏻♀️🧍🏻♀️💥💥💥#and the idea involves dawn and meleanor too!!😭😭😭 so its never going to be written by anyone since they're..... perishable side charas☠️💔#(no matter how much i deny that😭😭)
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To the people that sent in things for deco my tree I am so eternally grateful, heartwarming messages that really touched me and I’m happy to end the year on the note that you guys actually enjoy what I write—it’s a reminder honestly worth more than any feeling I’d get from numbers 😭
#and to everyone who consistently reblogs my works with their thoughts#shout out to you#I notice when its a regular thing#and makes me incredibly fond#love you all 🫶🏼#i dont have the time to respond to feedback as much as i’d like but honestly i would say it a thousand times but any time#i see even just a word in tags attached to a reblog#it genuinely means a lot#every single time#like even a spam of keyboards i get excited over 😭#so thank you guys for making this year extra fun lol#i know people say this all the time but i genuinely did not expect to receive this much support#so thank you x3000
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uh oh i think my laptop's officially dead
#i really hope not. but. the keyboard stopped working suddenly 😭#idk maybe i turned smth off accidentally?? idk if that's even possible#I'm trying to restart it now but it's going. very slowly. which is also worrying#even holding the off button isn't doing anything. shit#it was so sudden too??? it was actually still working like i could use the mouse and it was playing music#this is so weird I'm so scared 😭😭😭😭😭😭#it's like 5 years old man don't do this to me 😐😐😐😐😐😐😐#update: well it's not turning off so i took the charger out and hope it dies from a lack of battery power soon#and then I'll plug it back in and see if it helps 😔#i THINK it happened before?? like that it didn't turn off and i had to wait for the battery to drain first#I'm so worried i really hope it doesn't die 😔 it'll break me mentally i fear.#(yes it's an object but like. i need it man. and it has a lot of my stuff there. and a lot of distractions from the fact I'm alive)#bro why is this taking so long#usually when i use my laptop and it's not actively being charged it dies within 5 minutes#it's been over 10 now and it's still going?? now?? when i actually WANT it to die??#:/ think I'm gonna leave it alone for now hhhhh whatever. I'm very anxious but there's not much i can do besides waiting anyway
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My heart skipped a beat when I saw all that text anjelufuskgus
when you draw something for me you HAVE to prepare yourself for an atomic bomb (i'm the atomic bomb) (i explode immediately)
#asks#NAH BUT FR I LITERALLY JUST DIE /POS#WHEN I SEE STUFF MADE FOR ME LIKE THANK YOU SO MUCH??????? YOU DID THIS FOR ME???😭😭#i simply have no human words to describe my feelings so i just destroy my keyboard
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On this day in 1965 - the New Musical Express Poll Winner's Concert!!
Here's the Animals' performance of "Talkin' 'bout You/Shout" - lookit 'em go!!! 💞🐾
#THEIR ENTIRE SET HERE MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME!!! THEY ARE HAVING SO MUCH FUN AND PLAYING THEIR HEARTS OUT!!#sometimes i can forget that alan left less than a month later............ sometimes 😭😭😭😭😭#their energy in this song especially.. aAAA IT'S SO WONDERFUL!!!#especially when eric and hilton do that little dance in front of alan's keyboard aAAAAAAA#anyway yes i am going to watch this another ten times tonight#the animals#eric burdon#hilton valentine#chas chandler#john steel#alan price#nme#new musical express#1965#british invasion#60's rock#classic rock#the girl can't help it#eric tossing off his jacket right in front of alan's face 🤨
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wwomen . girls . 🥺💖 . starting to think i may be . more than just a faggot . at times
#wwhat if that musical machine was a ggirl and i was in love with her .#wwhat if . what if that industrial machine that plays an important part in paper making factories was . my wife . spiritually#hwat if everyone was a girl forever what if women . whaat if that fictional man i like . was a girl. actually. 😭😭😭😭#ahaahaa twirls my hair around my finger#the universe looks me in the eye and says 'gender and sexuality are both fluid' and tthen makes me go oohg women#i like it when gender is weird and fun and ivve been thinking about weird woman genders sooo much lately .ive been like 'erm. transfems'#and now look at me . surrounded by wives . im glitter popping my keyboard (MUSICAL) im helping her transition 😭💖💖💖#im so faggot . what if my doctor pepper was a fellow transsexual and we were t4t for the brief moments we share on this earth together#spiritually we were both formed by cosmic dust and found eachother in a world where we are both dull metal husks wrapped in colors#attempting to make ourself look appealing and lovable . her for the purpose of appeasing our overlords. me for the sake of appeasing mine#(human desperation. ofcourse.) we both find ourselves on this planet. some part of us knows we were once cosmic dust.#we once were indistinguishable from eachother. everyone was.#but her and me now.. its rare that two gems should meet who formed so similarly.#were both metal canisters who want to spill our contents out. and isnt that beautiful.#um . anyways . peace and love on planet earth. lawl
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my toxic trait is i write all my fanfic on my phone using swipe text
#it's hell. don't do it kids#i connected my usb keyboard up for the first time in months yesterday and wrote that punk caster snippet and it was so much easier#i'd forgot how much of a gamechanger a keyboard is 😭
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*looking at that photo dump post of Vessel’s hands*
Yes yes, I am now aware of my hand kink, and yes I think of those hands doing things no one needs to know about, BUT I think about just holding them more. And the mount of times I just think about him holding my face in his hands?? Sickening. Even more sickening then the above mentioned gross things.
#very much so#this is technically#spicy#but not really…. this is about other things#honestly this could also be about anyone with nice hands now fuck… if someone tucked my hair behind my ear I’d faint at this point#I am that cheeta meme. where it looks like it starts crying when the handler holds its head😭 das me#NOW NOT NOT phone whyyyyy#I don’t like this keyboard tbh I have.. the worst time with typeing fast on it lmao#edit: vessel made me aware of the hand kink. Im not just attracted to Vessel’s hands lmao
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listen i may not understand 99% of music theory but oh boy am i literally frothing at the mouth over chords rn
#resisting the urge to go balls to the wall rambling about the chord choices in Liftoff is PAINFUL guys#i literally love this shit so fucking much#even tho the musicians in the phandom are few and far between 😭#i just rlly am proud that im able to make conscious decisions now about the chords i choose#and it sorta makes sense???? mostly????#well in my head it does anyway#ok now back to me hovering over my keyboard like someone waking up at 2am and seeing a glass of water
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throwback to when i said i write most effectively at work. i literally wrote 2k words at work this week
#i say this week but it was all on wednesday and today i cant 💀#i think its cause i have a very noisy keyboard and that motivates me to write more. and also cause i am bored at work. and cant be on my#phone that much. and the laptop is just there. so i write lol#or im not bored all the time. just when things are going slow#also. the thing yesterday was not worth it. i didnt get to do shit. literally edited me completely out they didnt even write my name#on it 😭😭 but yk. its fine. im okay. its cool. i got my thing on wednesday and im cool with that. im having some serious identity issues#when it comes to work. like. i love my job. when its fun. but its also super competitive. and i do have a lot of experience (for an intern)#but its like. so ignored sometimes. and that annoys me. and idk if i have the mental capacity to always be competing for work the rest of m#life yk? cause the work life balance here SUCKS ahahaha#anyways. im gonna stop ranting and pick a song to make an amv for the destiversary <3
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I don't think you'll enjoy American Psycho if you're unable to handle gore, but I lowkey hope you do enjoy it because I would really love to see your dynamic with Patrick. I want to see you draw yourself with him and I want him to treat you so right. He'd be so devoted and protective over you that he'd literally kill for you and it's what you deserve after you've been hurting for so long. You deserve characters who make you feel safe and Patrick isn't any exception.
anon this is the nicest thing in the world??? im so sorry im too sleep deprived to give you a longer reply im so sorry but god i appreciate you so much. that last sentence made me get teary-eyed oohgh what the fuck thank you so much 😭😭😭😭😭 i always need to hear that kind of reassurance that my F/Os love me and wouldnt want to hurt me. im incredibly hesitant to watch anything regarding y'know a fictional serial killer because it would probably be harder to convince myself I wouldn't be one of his targets lmao but that is what self shipping is all about!! I need to practice more self love and firmly believing that even the most horrible wicked awful villain F/Os would never lay a hand on me. I have to spend so much time unlearning shit that was drilled into my brain for months and months but god damn it I'm gonna do it........ working this muscle, as they say. or is that what they say? when you're working a muscle in your brain that exercises self love or something. im sorry im so tired oh my god sdlfkjf
i will draw myself with patrick whether i watch the movie or not, i will draw myself kissing patrick very sweetly just because. idk i think it's so funny he keeps getting recommended to me when he's so awful. he's on my kiss list. keri kisses. everyone gets keri kisses!!!!! i am going to transform him in my drawings he is going to be the fluffiest most sappiest most lovestruck fool in this entire universe he's going to be shaking with how In Love he is he's goign to be the most gentle and soft spoken thing in this universe Just For Me. and then im going to probably drop him and never think about him ever again once i get it out of my system <3
#but hey you never know#anonymous#asks#keepsake#im fucking crying at this what the fuck. thank you so much#that last sentence has me openly weeping over my keyboard 😭#i miss feeling safe with F/Os what the fuck i fucking mss it#i miss my starlight it hurts real bad i miss my honeybee. miss my fixit#i wanna feel good around characters again. it shouldnt be this hard#if Patrick is a stepping stone to that. if imagining an insane murderer would love me is gonna help. then okay let's fucking go!!!!
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may i just say seeing you show up in my notifications with keyboard smashes makes my day.
its not even on my own stuff but just seeing your reactions to the things i reblog makes me happy.
Hope you have a wonderful day dear, Take Care!
ANON, YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH YOU'VE JUST BRIGHTENED UP MY DAY 🥺✨✨💖
#Asks that aren't asks#My beloved anons#I thought my keyboard smashes we're getting annoying ngl- 😭#IM SMILING LIKE AN IDIOT DANGIT#THIS IS SO SWEET- I CAN'T-#RNDNFLWJFT#ANON- I LOVE YOU SO MUCH 🥺😭✨✨💖
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