Increased awareness of the importance of mental health is no bad thing, especially in the aftermath of a punishing pandemic. But in many cases, the prevalence of what The New Yorker’s Katy Waldman has termed “Instagram therapy” has exacerbated a broader cultural trend toward solipsism, masquerading as “self-care.” The idea of self-care, in turn, has been largely divorced from its links to activism and is now often used to frame individual pleasurable actions, like taking a bubble bath or canceling plans, as morally worthy, even necessary. The exhortation to take care of ourselves, to protect our mental well-being at any cost, has become a mantra for a newly dominant ideology.
It’s not just that this Instagram therapy gives its adherents a convenient excuse to bail on dinner parties or silence our phones when friends text us in tears. Rather, it’s that according to this newly prevalent gospel of self-actualization, the pursuit of private happiness has increasingly become culturally celebrated as the ultimate goal. The “authentic” self — to use another common buzzword — is characterized by personal desires and individual longings. Conversely, obligations, including obligations to imperfect and often downright difficult people, are often framed as mere unpleasant circumstance, inimical to the solitary pursuit of our best life. Feelings have become the authoritative guide to what we ought to do, at the expense of our sense of communal obligations.
Yet it is precisely that rejection of our communal lives that makes therapy culture — at least the version of it on social media and in wellness advertisements — such an imperfect substitute. The idea that we are “authentic” only insofar as we cut ourselves off from one another, that the truest or most fundamental parts of our humanity can be found in our desires and not our obligations, risks cutting us off from one of the most important truths about being human: We are social animals. And while the call to cut off the “toxic” or to pursue the mantra of “live your best life,” or “you are enough” may well serve some of us in individual cases, the normalization of narratives of personal liberation threaten to further weaken our already frayed social bonds. “We are a relational species,” Dr. Cohen noted, adding that we need connection “to really thrive and survive.”
Hello there, friends!
It’s Wednesday. Either we’re somehow halfway through the week, or we’re only halfway through the week?! Either way, there’s simply no better time to settle down to show yourself a little midweek love and practice some self-care. So join us on this communal check-in!
This year, we are tackling seasonal affective disorder (aka holiday blues) with the help of the wonderful people at @kokobot. They have made a mood-boosting interactive quiz that’s rooted in science. Best of all? It’s just for you. 🤲🎁 Et voila!
We also have our feel-good playlist with enough tunes to keep your mind happy and healthy 🎶 you can find it right here.
👇👇Check out the upcoming classes 👇👇
It's ok to be angry and frustrated about the limitations your disabilities put on you, but don't believe for a second you're less valuable because of it
set goals for yourself
believe in yourself
wake up early
learn a new activity or skill
start a new routine
focus on the positive
learn a new language
clean your space regularly
have compassion for yourself and others
start a journal
don’t compare yourself
Law of Attraction: Manifest while you sleep
Before you go to bed think or write out :
3 things you are grateful for in life
3 things you are grateful of today
3 things you love about yourself
Listen to a sound bath while…
Visualizing what you want to manifest as if it’s happing NOW
Create an affirmation. Repeat “I AM so grateful now that “…”.
Release and let go
Fall asleep knowing that it will all manifest. YOU must believe that it will happen.
Trust and let go. Think about other things that make you happy until you fall asleep.
Learning to be compassionate and understanding with myself. Learning to understand that taking moments of rest doesn't make me lazy or unproductive. Learning to extend grace to me whenever I make a mistake and to not internalize the abuse others may try to inflict on me. Learning to be happy and satisfied with who I am and who God designed me to be, I'm perfectly and wonderfully made. Learning to not worry about impressing others and living up to their expectations but only focus on reaching personal milestones for my own satisfaction. I'm learning to love myself and to unlearn any internal toxic monologue that conditions me to be harsh on myself because I'm the only one responsible for ensuring my well-being and loving myself is a duty, not an option.
An easy way to accomplish your goals
First, there is no easy way out! You will have to put in the work to see results. There is a more intentional and less strenuous way of achieving these goals.
Set micro goals: This is has worked so well for me, I break down intimidating goals to easy goals. It is not enough to say you want to finish a book in a week - how will you go about that? if it is a 200-paged book, then you'd have to read 28-29 pages per day to finish the book in a week. If you have 2500 words essay due in 2 weeks, you can break it down to writing 250 words each day for the next 10 days, then use the extra four days to edit. This system makes me feel prepared and less overwhelmed.
Remind yourself of your goals: I made goals in January that I totally forgot about. I wrote it on my journal and I never opened it again. Some will say if you wanted it so bad, you'd have remembered, but the truth is there are so many things competing with our memory and time. The most visible and accessible ones are tHE most remembered and that leads to action.
Use the SMART method: I could write an entire book on how having deadlines helps me accomplish my goals. If I need to get something done giving myself a due date pushes me to do so and it builds self-trust because who else will do it? So make your goals Specific (well-detailed), Measurable (quantify your outcome), Achievable (be realistic), Relevant (significant to you), and Timely (give yourself. a timeline).
Ain’t nothing worth more than my peace of mind.