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lovifie · 3 months

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Lift Me Off My Feet

Chapter 8: Training Session

Masterlist

Original Thought - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12

W: Price x Reader, just a filthy act of love, Price gets a bit intense sometimes, but thats okay, we love him that way.

The next morning, you wake up when you feel Price's arm press you against him. You hum, twisting to get comfy, resting your head on his chest; and you feel it rumble when he says: “I was scared of waking up alone again…” You feel his lips against your hair, and you hug him back as an answer. You raise your head to look at him when he cups your face, caressing your jaw. “I'm sorry, John.”

“It's okey. I understand, love” He says, again hugging you tightly against him and kissing your forehead. “Just don't do it again, please.”

You quickly shake your head, hiding your face on his neck and breathing in his smell; a mix of tobacco and aftershave. Makes you want to bite down thinking of last night's events.

“But it wasn't okay.” You mumble. “Was an absolute dick move” He chuckles, caressing your back, but not disagreeing with you. “I didn't even left a note, a phone number, anything… I'm sorry.”

“It's okay, doll, really.” He says cupping your face with his other hand. “It just made me worry, I thought I had pushed you to do it; that I didn't read you correctly.”

You quickly shake your head. “It wasn't that, I promised. It was just…” you sigh, looking for the right words. “Fuck, I have been in years long relationships before and I have never felt as loved as that night with you, I felt… stupid when it hit me.”

“Stupid?” He asks, brows furrowed in confusion.

“Yeah, that I was reading feelings that were not there. When I woke up I thought that you were going to kick me out the moment you woke up, and I wanted to save myself the embarrassment.” You admit, noticing the way he hugs you tighter as you talk.

“What? Who in their right mind would do such a thing? Who kind of person kicks someone out after doing it?” He asks looking at your face, and just with your eyes you try to make him understand that there are people who would and that there are people who had already. It dawns on him, confusion no longer on his face, instead there is outrage clear as day. “Who?”

“What?” You ask, sceptical of his intentions.

“Tell me their names, love.” He says keeping your face locked, focusing on you. “If they are the reason why I woke up empty handed… I'll take care of them.”

You raise your eyebrow at him, instead of answering you get close and kiss him on the lips. “Calm down, Cap. I'm here now, and I'm not going anywhere.”

There is pure and unaltered devotion pouring out of the captain's eyes, and something tells you to be careful who you badmouth in front of him.

The two of you exchange more sweet kisses and comforting words, before he speaks again. “I have something planned for today.” He says, and laughs when you look at him with a brow raise. “It's not that, you insatiable girl. We are teaching you some self defense moves.”

“We?”

“Yeah, the four of us. Since we are all here, there is no point in taking you back home. So the boys and I are training you today, if you are not already sore from yesterday; you'll be tomorrow.”

You groan making him laugh, and he turns you around so he can get up. He's still naked from last night, and your mouth waters at the sight. He catches you staring at him up and down and chuckles. “You have no shame.”

“Says the one with his dick out. Plus, why should I be ashamed?” You ask turning to lay on your side, head resting on your hand as you continue to look at him.

He sighs, trying to keep his mind clear but his hardening dicks betrays his look. “The boys are waiting…”

You smile mischievously. “I'm sure they will understand, Captain. And it is not proper to meet your team with a raging boner, now is it?” You ask, using the hand your are not resting your head on to pull his hand softly, he could pull back easily but he doesn't, instead he lets you win as if you were an unmovable force.

“That is true, doll.” He groans. “Such a good girl, aren't you? Offering your help to your naughty captain.”

He sits back down on the bed, moving your head to rest on his lap as his hand find his way to your hip. You are face to face with his dick, too heavy to stand on his own but hard enough to dribble precum out of its tip.

You stick your tongue out, licking the tip humming at the taste; so turned on for pleasuring the man to even feel embarrassed. Price groans as well, his hips bucking the smallest bit from the sensation and petting your head.

You continue to give wet kisses all the way to the base, latching as his heavy balls when you reach them, making Price moan loudly as he throws his head back, a droplet of precum falling on your cheek as you do.

Price moves his hand from your head to your crotch, lifting your leg and leaving you, still on your side, exposed to him. He shoves his fingers inside of your mouth when you open your mouth again, pressing down your throat harshly to make you gag and smearing the new spit on you mouth around your lips groaning at the sight.

His hand goes back to you cunt, caressing around the area, teasing you and not quite giving you the attention that you crave. So you try to focus on the formidable piece of meat in front of your face, opening your mouth and sucking his tip in making him hiss. His finger finally starting to rub against your clit, slowly, awakening it.

You bob your head up and down, taking more and more as you go. Moaning against his length when his finger find his way inside your cunt, slowly thrusting in an out on tandem with your head. He then pulls your head, peeling you away from his dick. He smiles at you hungry, like a wolf who just catched his prey, he gets a second finger inside of you making you moan; and the second you slightly open your mouth his other hand catches your jaw keeping it open right under his face. He spits into your mouth, just before crashing his lips against you. It has to be the filthiest kiss you have ever gotten, still you can hear the wet sounds of your arousal being fucked in and out of you pussy with Price's fingers.

He pulls back from the kiss just an inch before saying. “I wanna hear you gag on my cock, babygirl. I wanna feel your throat strangle my cock, get your mouth stuffed, cum all over your face, mark you mine, sweet girl. My sweet, sweet girl.” You can only moan back, unable to talk back with the way his hand is fucking you, the flat of his hand clapping against your clit, your juices wetting his hand and dripping down your tight.

He lets go of you jaw, and you quickly go back to drowning on his dick. It is such a filthy act, there is drool falling down his dick, soaking his balls. At some point his hand stops moving willingly, just twitching, unable to focus on pleasuring you when be is so close to finish himself. He is thrusting up into your mouth, head back moaning as he feels your throat spasms around his dick. He never expected himself to be this rough, even less with you, but the moment you lay a touch on him he loses every bit of common sense, the urge to feel you being to hard to ignore and needing to fuck you like an animal.

He pulls the hand from your crotch back, using it to fist his dick while he uses the other the keep your head press against his thick thigh. He moans your name shamelessly when he pulls himself over the edge, the first spur of his cum falling on your face before he pushes his red tip back between your plush lips to cum inside your mouth, groaning again when you open your mouth to show him how you swallow it all.

He takes just a second to collect himself, pupils still blown by lust, before he picks you up sitting you on his lap with your back pressed against his chest, his softening dick wetting your ass and he plants your feet on his knees letting you spread-legged for him. An arm grabs you by your middle, supporting you as his hand plays with you nipple making you squirm and the other hand quickly find his way back to your pussy making you moan his name.

He hides his face on your neck, getting high on the smell of sex pouring out of you. His fingers piston in an out of your pussy so fast it is just a blurred image making you moan his name, and Price may have come already but his mind is still going, pouring filth into your ear. “Such a good fucking pussy, always ready to take it. I bet when I was fucking Kyle in you, you were hoping I would slip inside along, hm? Feel the two of us inside this tight pussy.” You clench around him, the mental image too filthy not to

“Who would you like to fuck you with me, him? Simon?” He asks, and you clench bitting your lip. The thought of getting sandwiches between the two broad men, unable to do anything but to get fuck. The dirty talk between the two of them would turn you into a puddle in mere seconds, and Price can tell how exited that gets you. He chuckles behind you, seeing the fading mark from his bite last night and he bites you again, making sure the mark stays visible for the rest of the day.

The stinging pain from the bite in comparison to the pleasure of his fingers stuffing you and his palm constantly slapping agains your clit being enough to drive you over the edge. But Price doesn't relent, instead he gets his fingers out and starts to rub rapidly against your clit making you cry out and to try and unsuccessfully close your legs.

“I can't” You cry out, a laugh the only thing you get in return. “I can't, John, I can't again.”

And Price smiles, teeth still bitting down on your shoulder, he can hear your cries but he can also feel your hips grind his hand back. It only takes him another minute before you are coming undone again, his hand getting soaked and your juices dripping down to the floor.

You legs shake as he finally let you close them, his hand still against you pussy moving slowly letting you ride out your orgasms. He stops bitting, licking the reddening skin and kissing it softly. “See? I knew you could do it. My good girl, him?”

You mumble back, unable to even think let alone talk back. He chuckles looking at you and says. “Better get you cleaned up, you still need to have breakfast to have energy to fight the guys, hm?”

You look back at him like he is crazy, because there is no way in hell he can expect you to move when you don't even feel your legs anymore.

“Again!” He shouts, after Soap has you pinned to the floor again.

You groan, using your hands to get back on your feet. You know is only going to take Soap a second to have you flat on the floor again, but you still follow Price's orders. You stand how they explained to you, Price nodding with approval while Gaz and Ghost look invested on the “fight”.

“It's not fair.” You say between heavy breathes.

“What's not fair?” Ghost asks, amused with the situation.

“I'm exhausted, and the four of you keep switching whenever you get tired. I'm going against four!” You exclaim, stepping back when Soap steps forward.

“Hm, but you can take the four of us.” Gaz says, laughing to himself.

“In a fight, right, Gaz?” Ghost ask, indulging his joke and patting his back.

“Sure, that too.” He says, before busting laughing.

You get distracted just for a second, but time enough for Soap to have you lying flat on the mat with him sitting down on your chest not letting his whole weight in, his crotch mere centimetres from your face.

You are annoyed at this point, the line between frustration and just plain anger blurry from half an hour ago. And when Soap flaunts you, trying to get a rise from you he gets it. In the shape and form of a headbutt to his dick with as much momentum as you can manage.

He grabs his crotch fast after the hit, hitting you on the face by accident and Price calls an end to the fight with an exasperated groan. Soap rolls off of you, kneeling down and pressing his forehead to the ground as he grabs his crotch to help with the pain, meanwhile you roll on your stomach, grabbing your mouth in pain as well.

You can hear Ghost and Gaz laughing loudly at the stupidity of the situation. Price enters the ring, picking you up to sit you down straight and crouches down to look at your face. "Are you fine?" You nod quickly, even though you taste blood of your mouth; Soap's cries of pain making you feel bad to complain.

“Good hit, birdie.” Ghost says stepping close, giving you his hand to high five which you do, feeling like it is the biggest compliment.

Gaz goes to check on Soap, struggling not to laugh at him. And after a minute, Soap manages to sit down, taking deep breath to calm down.

“Let's all take a break, seems somebody is getting a little irritated” Price says trying to look serious, but a devilish smirk appears on his face side eyeing you.

“A little irritated?!” You exclaim, completely falling on his trap. He gets on position, just to tease you because you are not standing up, and you do the unbreakable, unbeatable and unstoppable hit that is taking off your shoe and throwing it full force at his crotch, so fast he is quickly on the floor just like Soap was a second before.

The other burst out laughing at his captain, half impressed with your sped, and Ghost sits you on his lap; immobilising you with a leg over yours.

“I don't know why we are training you, you seem to be able to defend yourself quite nicely, birdie.” He chuckles behind you.

“Yeah, until I run out of shoes.” You admit, moving your feet making him chuckle.

After a moment, each men find their way on a different corner of the rink, Ghost taking you along and you using his bend knee as an arm rest.

“We look like the Hungry Hippos game thing, you know what I mean?” Soap ask chuckling, exhausted still.

Gaz snorts, and you already know he is about to say something stupid. “Yeah, but birdie is the only one who get balls on her mouth.”

You immediately take your shoe off, Ghost only chuckling not even thinking of stopping you when Gaz starts to scream, the kind of scream of when a sibling is following you with a knife. The shoe hit Gaz on the head, luckily covered by his hand; for some reason these men at the top of the military chain that could stop a bullet with their teeth seems to be unable to grab a shoe.

“See? Now I'm defenseless.” You tell Ghost, moving your feet again.

He cups your jaw, making you look up to him. “How's your mouth?”

“Haven't had any complaints jet.” You say smiling, teeth pink with the slightly bloody spit. “Right, Cap?”

He laughs back, Ghost and Soap smiling in mutual understanding and it makes Gaz frown. “Wait a minute… am I the only one you haven't… That's not fair!”

“That's what you get for breaking the truce.” Price answers simply.

“She's started!” Gaz complains, trying to defend himself.

“I don't know what you are talking about, I have never done nothing wrong on my life.” You say, raising your chin and turning to cuddle against Ghost's chest.

“I believe her, sorry Gaz.” Ghost says, his chest rumbling as he does. You turn your head when you hear Gaz complain and you show him your middle finger.

He immediately starts to trash again, snitching to Price about your antics, the Captain completely ignoring the Sergeant just for the sake of annoying him.

Ghost chuckles behind you making you look up to him, and he meets your gaze. “Are you sure you wanna be a part of this, birdie? You still can run.”

You laugh back, and raise yourself a bit to kiss him over the mask. “I'm more and more glad each day, Ghostie.”

“Hey, bonnie.” Soap calls you, walking up to you once you are all done tidying up the gym. “You're free this weekend, right?”

“Yes I am.” You smile at him. “Why? Got any good plans for me?”

“Yeah, I had an idea.” He hugs you, keeping his hand at the small of your back. “Do you like camping?”

“Camping?” You ask a bit surprised, resting your hands on his shoulders. “I don't know, I have never gone camping.”

“Bullshit!” He says, compley shocked by the fact you never been. “Then that's it, we going camping. I'll pack everything, make some food, find blankets, get you warm clothes, we'll make a little fireplace. I'll be fun!”

You laughs softly, contagious with his cheeriness. “Sure, Johnny boy. When?” You ask

“Tomorrow, I'll pick you up. It's a date then?” He asks, and smile widely when you nod. “Come with me.”

He takes your hand in his and walks you outside of the gym, seeing the training camp and the mountain behind it.

“You see the little ledge on the cliff?” Soap asks you, pointing with his finger, and when you nod he adds. “That's where I'm fucking your ass tomorrow, bonnie.”

Hii~ 🩷🩷

How are you guys? Got any plans for the weekend?

Not a date on this chapter, it was originally a bit different, but then it turned really horny and I'm sorry I'm not.

If there are any asks you would like to send I would love to read, I got one this morning and I'm already working on it hehehe. I LOVE IT 🩷

Love your guys 🩷🩷

Lovi-

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berryzxx · 8 days

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To Have And To Hold...Till Death Do Us Part

Azriel x reader

Summary: Azriel has spent decades centuries on trying to find his mate. A mate is supposed to be that one constant person in you're life. But as we all know Azriel was damned to an unlucky fate

Note: FIRST TIME WRITING ANGST be nice<3. also yes i will be reverting to fluff again. its my little cosy corner :) Also ty so so so much to @sarawritestories, literally an angel and helped me with this idea GO READ HER FICS BITCHES. @thelov3lybookworm, @fell-in-luvs @sweetorangeblossom @throneofsmut

@riddlesb1tch @milswrites TYSM for the help ily all. I'm never writing angst again <3

The dry, bland taste of the oats coated Azriel's tongue and he fought to swallow it down. A fight similar to his will to get out of bed every morning. Also similar to the fight of carrying on each day.

Mindlessly stirring his food which had now gotten cold he thought about what he would do for Star fall next week. Maybe he would get drunk so he wouldn't remember the night. Or maybe he would go up to the balcony to get the "best view" but in fact sulk in a corner because he didn't have a special someone to share the night with.

Pulling himself back to reality and berating himself for being ungrateful and forgetting about how much his family had done for him, Azriel watched one of his shadows depart and slowly move across the table until it had reached the open French doors. He tried calling it back but to no avail. Taking a deep breath Azriel continued eating, his shadows were always up to something. Maybe it was bringing back important information. Like maybe who his mate was.

His heart became heavy again at the thought. Still no mate. Azriel had seen so many things, lived through so much and sometimes he thought he deserved a mate. Sometimes when he wasn't so absorbed in self hate he thought to himself maybe he did deserve a mate like Rhys had Feyre or Cassian had Nesta. The thought left him as soon as it had appeared. He shook his head, he didn't deserve a mate. He would ruin her. He wasn't good enough. No where near good enough.

Scoffing at himself for even going down the path of thinking he out of all people could have a mate, he carried on eating his oats, finishing them in record time to get to training with the Valkyries and the priestesses.

***

"Isn't that your shadow?" Nesta asked pointing toward a lone shadow which was making it's way back in to the house, moving across the training ring floor and the edges of the walls before it disappeared completely. She was laying down on the mat, sweat dripping down her face. It had been an intense training session, Nesta having started to channel her anger into physical exercise resulted in Azriel having to hold the punching pads tighter than usual. He was happy for her. Glad she was better now and getting used to her fae body.

"It is" Azriel replied, his confusion increasing slightly. They were acting extremely strange. And the one that had left this morning still hadn't come back. Not to mention the shadows still with him were dancing around as if they were waiting for something. He shrugged it off. It was probably a new bakery or some drama from Velaris they had picked up on. Nosy pricks.

Nesta's silver eyes held concern, "Are you okay?" She bit her lip there was something like recognition in her eyes, as if she once held the same vacant stare that he did. "Are they usually like this?" Nesta questioned again, sitting up and trying to read his expression. He shook his head, flipping his water flask upside down to realise it was empty "They'll come back eventually"

She stood up and brushed her clothes down "You could get it checked. I heard Madja's working late today"

Azriel tried not to get angry. It wasn't as if she would know how it was basically impossible for any healer to ever help him.

"We'll see" He replied instead, already brushing the idea away. All he'd get was an afternoon wasted and a whole lot of poking at his back and wings. It wasn't that big of a deal. Well...that's what he hoped.

***

Flipping the dagger in his hand he began to sharpen the other side, making sure it was as sharp as possible so it would make a clean cut. He didn't need more blood on his hands. Well more than usual anyway. Looking to his right he saw Cassian stretching out his wings and yawning "I'm off to bed. Don't stay up past your bedtime" He grinned. Azriel shook his head a smile on his face even though the joke wasn't funny.

"I won't" Azriel lied. Cassian looked at him for longer than usual as if trying to figure something out. Of course he didn't. Azriel's secrets were too well hidden.

"I'm here if you ever need to talk" Cassian said resting a hand on his shoulder. Azriel gave him a rare smile and patted his hand "I know brother"

Leaving him to sit peacefully on the roof Azriel looked up at the sky. Automatically his eyes searched for the one star constellation he loved. Lyra it's name was. His mother had pointed it out to him when he was young. Said it was one of the constellations that would never leave him. Sometimes it felt like this constellation was the only stable thing in his life. Something that would never leave him and so far it was living up to it's reputation.

***

All fucking night his shadows had been restless, moving about and not letting him get one minute of sleep. Yes he ran on 4 hours of sleep perfectly fine but his shadows didn't even let him close his eyes for one minute without being irritating. Not to mention his shadows from previously hadn't come back. What the fuck was their problem?

Finally giving up he went down to the kitchen, drank a glass of water and stomped upstairs on to the balcony. His shadows were still making incessant noises and moving around too much for this early in the morning. Azriel walked over to the edge of the roof, standing on the edge and freefell down down down.

The air hit him at the perfect angle and gods did he wish he could keep falling. If he hadn't opened his wings at the right time he would have died but who really cared? It was just him after all.

He flew over Velaris, the sun barely visible resulting in a still and quieter city at this time. Not to mention it was Saturday, most of the fae probably nursing their hangovers right now. He veered left toward the Sidra, going past Feyre's bright and cosy artists corner, following his shadow at a leisurely pace as it stopped in front of what seemed to be a row of houses. They were bright and colourful, pale pinks and bright blue's, pleasing to look at. Settling on the roof of a house opposite them he watched the sun rise, his shadows finally calm. It felt like his heart was calm too.

A few minutes of sitting led to one of the rooftop doors opening and......and Azriel couldn't describe what and who stepped out.

She was a goddess.

She was the fulfilment of his dreams.

She was the most ethereal fae he had seen.

She was...gods words couldn't describe her never ending beauty. Moving toward her flowers towards the right of the roof she began to water them, her soft brown hair falling forward and covering her face slightly. His heart hurt. He didn't know why.

He could stare at her for an eternity. Her green eyes sparkled in the sunlight, her pink lips looked like they could say the sweetest words. Like they could soothe any pain he had from one whisper of her sweet voice. He swallowed.

He wanted to talk to her. Enjoy her company. Make her smile. Make her laugh. Watch as her eyes brightened because of him.

He could change. For her he could, he thought to himself as she stood up from watering the roses and looked at the sun rise too.

Her cheeks held a slight blush, hair dishevelled as though she had just gotten out of bed. Azriel was cataloguing each and every thing about her, storing it into his memory to cherish.

Clenching his fists and readying himself, memorising what he would say to this oh so gorgeous female he extended his wings.

Softly landing behind her, he felt like his tongue was twisted. Her hair fell in waves down her back, her arms wrapped around herself.

Taking a deep breath he cleared his throat. She whipped round and it felt like time stopped.

Her hand rested on her chest and her eyes were wide with surprise. Beautiful. That was all that went through his mind as he drank her in, looking at each and every perfect feature.

"Who are you?" His heart felt like it would burst from happiness. Her voice was music to his ears. She had straightened up slightly, her shocked expression gone as she patiently waited for Azriel to speak. He didn't want to. What if he messed it up?

"Azriel. Sorry I....I didn't mean to invade your privacy I-" He cleared his throat cursing under his breath for his stupid twisted tongue. Her lips turned up in a small smile as if she was encouraging him, waiting for him to finish. Like she actually cared for what he had to say.

"I just saw you watching the sunset- not that I was watching you...I meant I just saw you here-" A small laugh escaped her as she watched him struggle. He knew one thing. It was that his heart was no longer his. It was hers. His soul belonged to her. His broken and bloody soul was hers however much it had gone through.

Falling in love was impossible he used to think but looking at her now, he thought it possible.

He was so busy in trying to memorise her face he didn't realise his shadows from earlier swirling around her wrists and waist as if they had found their home.

"It's alright. Lets watch the sunset together, the view's gorgeous from here" Her soft voice beckoned him closer and as she turned back around her arm knocked one of the vases. She turned around trying to grab it and in that split second, she fell.

Over the roof and down to where Azriel couldn't see her.

His heart raced as he ran to the edge and jumped down onto the concrete floor, using his wings to slow his descent.

He had heard the sickening thud when she had fallen but he refused to believe it.

He watched as her lifeless body lay there.

Still.

The life in her completely gone. Silence rang in his ears, his throat closed up, he wanted to rip out his heart. Why?

Why?

Why was all he could think about it as he looked at her broken form. Blood pooled from her head, a puddle of deep red gathering around her hair. His shadows swarming around her, frantically trying to do something.

Maybe if he weren't so useless. Maybe if he had any dignity or shame he wouldn't have stared on and could have helped her. It felt like his voice was lost.

He looked at her dead eyes and when he did it snapped. The golden thread sparkling between the two of them, connecting them, before dying out again. The moment of completeness vanished in a split second.

Mate.

She was his mate.

He let out a tortured scream, his own voice ringing in his ears. His legs weakened as he dropped to the ground next to her, his energy depleted.

Tears slipped down his face and for the first time he didn't wipe them away. Didn't berate himself for crying because this....this was a tragedy everyone should have cried over. But instead it was only him watching her once smiling face lay face down on the concrete.

Why was it him? He hadn't even gotten to see her smile properly because of him. Hadn't been able to hear her speak completely. Hadn't heard the sweet words she was sure to voice if he ever got the chance to get to know her.

His eyes wouldn't leave her body as he choked out sobs, eyes blurry and wanting to look away from her limp body at the same time. His....His mate.

The word left him feeling empty. All he wanted was right in front of him except she was gone. She was dead and it was because of him.

His hands shook, his control slipping away as time passed, slowly reaching for her. He gently touched her hair ever so softly as if maybe she were sleeping and she would wake up. Slowly moving it to the side, he could finally see her beautiful beautiful face. A face which had been removed of all colour and life.

A strangled sound escaped him as he looked on unable to tear his eyes away. His heart fractured into so many pieces he didn't know what he'd do anymore. How could he live without her? Life wasn't worth living without her.

His mate.

Tears made his vision blurry as he tried to memorise her perfect features. She was a poem he would never be able to memorise. She was the dream he was always so far from reaching. She was his except she wasn't. Not anymore. Because she was gone.

He wished he could take her place. Wished he had died after seeing his mate. He would have died happy. Finally would know what true happiness was before dying.

Any alternate way of living his heart didn't know how to. Without her in his life he couldn't search for any reason for continuing on.

Gods he didn't even know her name. At the thought of this his lips pressed together trying to stop the heart wrenching scream he wanted to release. He didn't even know her damn name.

His mate.

His mate who was lying dead in front of him. Looking down at his hands he saw they were shaking, so was his body. He didn't deserve to live. This perfect female in front of him wasn't able to live her life so why should he, a broken and unlovable torturer?

The glint of his dagger beckoned to him. It would be oh so easy to end things now. Stab himself through the heart and lay down, lifeless just like his mate. At least they would die together. Taking out his dagger he looked at. Really looked at it.

The fates had known.

This was why he had sharpened his dagger. For this exact reason.

If his mate didn't deserve to live neither did he. He lifted the dagger, tears streaming down his face, his heart broken in too many places to fix, no one left for him in this world. Looking at his mates face for the last time he pushed the dagger straight into his heart.

Fitting ending he supposed. After all the killing he had done, he had ended his own life. Blood seeped from the stab wound but he didn't care. He tried to touch her face one last time, extending his hand, but he couldn't. Because he had collapsed onto the cold floor next to her, unable to touch her for the first and last time.

He was damned. His fate was unlucky.

He was a bastard who didn't deserve anything.

Without even realising his shadows had left him too.

"LYRA" A heart wrenching scream echoed in his ears as the blood emptied out his body. That was his mate's name.

Lyra

If he were still alive he would have smiled and cried at the irony of it all but he wasn't. His eyes now stared straight up as his heart no longer pumped blood.

A fae walking past would see it as a tragedy but it was more than that. It was a man who would never get a happily ever after no matter how much he wished for it. It would be a story passed down to generations. A story with no happy ending.

***

If only Azriel had known that he was in fact loved. That he did have people that held him close to their heart

If only he had known.

Rhys who was waiting in his meeting room for their debrief.

Cassian who had set up a game of chess for him and Azriel to play.

Nesta who thought up new techniques for fighting that she would show him the next morning.

Feyre who was painting his portrait in her art studio.

Nyx who was waiting for his favourite uncle to come home so they could fly together.

Little did they know Azriel would never come home again.

....first and last time writing angst :) if u can even call it that

->Masterlist <-

tagging: @hijabi-desi-bookworm @lilah-asteria @fxckmiup @minnieoo

@kennedy-brooke @daycourtofficial

#berrywrites #azriel angst #azriel #azriel shadowsinger #azriel x oc #azriel x reader angst #azriel x reader #azriel x you #azriel acotar #acotar series #azriel fanart #acotar azriel #azriel shadowsinger x reader #azriel shadow singer x y/n #azriel spymaster #acosf #acotar fanfiction #acotar fic #acotar x reader

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stuckinapril · 7 months

Note

You are so productive and living your best life I admire it so much! I don't understand how you do it... do you have any advice for forcing yourself to do the things you know are good for you even when you are feeling sad and not up to it? Have a lovely day ❣️❣️❣️

Plan your day hour by hour. This actually revolutionized my life. Plan when you’ll wake up, plan what you’ll do every hour of the day, and make it as realistic as possible to stick to your goals. Start with simple things and gradually ramp it up. Don’t overwhelm your day with 60 different goals. I’d pair one passive goal (be on your phone less, for example) with one active goal (study more, take more walks, read more) and go from there. It’s better to start small and be consistent than to start big and quit one day in.

Lower the resistance necessary to accomplish tasks. If you have somewhere to be early tomorrow, plan your outfit the night before. If you have studying to do, have your textbooks/notebooks/notes on your desk by the time you wake up. If you have an overwhelming task, break it into smaller subtasks and focus on them one at a time. If you don’t want to be on your phone in the morning, charge it somewhere you won’t be able to see the moment you open your eyes. I’m trying to overcome the phone issue right now, so instead of setting an alarm on my phone I just bought a digital alarm clock bc I know I’m way less likely to get on my phone that way. I’m lowering the effort needed to actually get started on a task.

Have motivational things handy for when you’re down!! I’m a highly visual person, so it actually really helps me to make moodboards. I have moodboards for things I wanna accomplish, moodboards for things I’ve already accomplished, a Pinterest board for affirmations etc etc. I have a list on my notes app for all the reasons why it’s important to me to accomplish my goals. I have another notes app page dedicated to pasting all the motivational quotes that help me whenever I’m in a funk. You could even print them and hang them up on your wall if you want. In times where instant gratification overshadows getting things done, make it very accessible to remember why they’re important to you to begin with.

Romanticize your tasks. I make silly to-do lists, I make sure I’m always in cute outfits when I’m running errands, I put on perfume and mascara and lip gloss even if I’m literally all on my own in my bedroom about to do a 3 hour study session. I love getting manicures bc there’s nothing more satisfying than studying with pretty dark red fall nails. This may sound extra but I go through my notes pretending I’m Elle Woods or something bc it makes it so much fun. A huge part of why I’m consistent with going to the gym is bc I buy pretty workout fits that just make me feel good. I wear lingerie under my clothes wherever I am bc it makes me feel like a bad bitch even if no one sees it. I don’t start a task with the thought in mind that I want to get it done already—I try to make the act of doing it in and of itself as engaging as possible.

To piggyback off that point, switch your environment if your current one isn’t serving you. Don’t just default to quitting if one approach isn’t working. If studying in your bedroom isn’t doing it, go to the nearest coffee shop. If the coffee shop isn’t working, do the library. Study indoors. Study outdoors. Study in nature. Hell study at a beach if you want to. It doesn’t matter where you are if you’re getting things done. Exhaust all your alternatives before calling it quits.

Set firm boundaries with yourself. This is so big. Self-care is absolutely treating yourself, but it’s also being your own parent and disciplining yourself if you feel like you’re not putting your all into something. In a world where it’s very easy to go “just a few more minutes on my phone” “I’ll do it tomorrow” “I can skip working out today” it’s really important to be able to parent yourself and exercise some tough love and do some things even if you don’t feel like you want to. I really struggle with this as a gen z girl bc this is THE era of instant gratification. But my goals are just more important to me than momentary comfort.

No zero days. Just bc you’re not being your 100% on one day doesn’t mean you should just lie down and do nothing. Being at 50% performance is better than being at 0%. I try to make sure I get some light tasks done on days where I don’t feel like going all in. It helps me not feel like I’ve just derailed my whole life, which consequently helps me move on from my ruts faster.

Look ahead. Can not emphasize this enough. Death motivates me like nothing else. You do not have an infinite time on this earth. You don’t want to be at the same place you’ve been at a year from now. Resist the “I’ll do it tomorrow” mentality as much as possible. Change happens in small increments & there’s no better time for it than the present. What may seem like little things you can skip out on now can quickly snowball into the very things that are preventing you from being where you want to be.

Acknowledge your limits. Someone with two full-time jobs and school should not be comparing themself to the progress of someone with one part-time job and like nothing else. I’m currently studying full-time and also trying to maintain a consistent workout routine, so I don’t expect myself to recreationally read more than 30 minutes a day, even if ideally I’d like that time to be way higher. I know it’s pointless to compare myself to someone who reads 70 books a month but has much less workload than I do. Comparison is inherently flawed bc no one else has been the dealt the cards you’ve been dealt. Tailor your schedule to your own unique situation. Make a list of your priorities and assign them to your hours accordingly.

Listen to your needs!! Mental health is the most important thing. You need to be in tune with yourself to know when you could be pushing yourself a little harder, and when it’s necessary to give yourself time off. If I’m in an actual burnout, I go out with friends. I go see a movie. I give myself the grace of being human and step back for a little bit. It’s completely okay to have those days, and acknowledging them helps you recover quicker. Take care of yourself <3

#i hope this helps <33 a girl rly loves her bullet point lists #also thank u for this ask bc now I get to look back at these whenever I’m in a funk 😈#ask #study tips

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mvybanks · 9 months

Text

THE DEAL — chapter five

a/n: back again! i hate myself for waiting so long to write this because it literally took me two days, i don’t know why i kept postponing it🧍🏼‍♀️ but now we’re back and i really hope that you guys like this (and that you’re still here lmao). let me know what you think! <3

warnings: heavy make out session, allusions to sex but nothing explicit!

word count: 3.4k

pairing: frat!rafe x innocent friend!reader

nav the deal masterlist

add yourself to my taglist <3

add yourself to my rafe taglist <3 (if you want to be added only to the taglist of series you can specify it in the end note of the form!)

One thing you weren’t expecting that morning was to wake up to an empty bed, although Rafe’s scent was still lingering in the air, along the memories of the previous night. You hadn’t slept so peacefully in a long time and all because he had lulled you into his arms and had made you feel safe.

Oh, so safe. That was how you always felt when you were with Rafe, and the more time passed, the more you got closer to the realization of your real feelings for him. However, you had to push them away for you knew that he wasn’t boyfriend material. He was a great friend, but you were sure that was all he was willing to be.

What you were unaware of was that it had been torture for Rafe to leave you that morning. Your half naked body was resting on his torso, lazily wrapped around him while your soft breaths were the only sounds that filled the room. He had stayed there, watching you sleep for a while and fantasizing about that becoming a new routine for him, and god, wouldn’t he had loved to get used to that. Unfortunately, he couldn’t, which was why he had to leave in a rush, grateful that you hadn’t woken up as he had left a soft kiss on your temple.

It was torture for him, knowing that you weren’t his and never would be was like a punch in the stomach, and it absolutely killed him. Oh, what he wouldn’t have done for you to leave that jerk and run into his arms, but yet again, was he really worthy of you, the greatest gift the universe had ever given to him?

Watching you step inside the Cocoa Corner was another kind of torment though. The big sweatshirt that seemed to swallow you whole along with that pair of jeans that hugged your thighs just right. It seemed as if you were attempting to rise a reaction out of him, which you so obviously did, but he realized that you weren’t doing absolutely anything except being your perfect self, and that was always going to be enough to short circuit his brain. His gaze never left your figure as you stepped behind the counter and sent him a weak smile, followed by a whispered ‘good morning’, before you began to get to work.

That was a big contrast with the way you had acted the previous night, and Rafe had wished his mind hadn’t gone there because he was sure he was about to get hard only from thinking about it. He cleared his throat, “Good morning.”

For the rest of the morning, you worked side by side, pretending like nothing had happened and that neither of you wished to be back in your bed, limbs intertwined and bodies pressed together — pretending that his eyes didn’t fall on the ring on your hand from time to time and that his pulse didn’t pick up when he realized that it was the one that he had handed to you.

As a dark blue replaced the sunny sky, you and Rafe were still cleaning the kitchen, and for the first time since you had met him, the silence between you didn’t feel comfortable, but it had never been so loud. How had it ended that way?

It seemed like the universe wanted you to talk because as you gave him your back, you heard the sound of sputtering coming from behind you and a string of curses coming from Rafe, which made you turn around with confusion written all over you, that slowly faded into shock and then a veil of amusement fell on your features.

“What the hell did you do?!” You all but yelled as you tried to help the dumbass next to you who was covered in, thankfully, lukewarm coffee that kept spraying from the machine and began to cover you as well.

“I was just trying to clean it! I didn’t do anything!”

Two pair of hands were stopping the coffee from spilling everywhere, your palms touching and your fingers brushing against each other. A warmth licked down your spine at the feeling of his touch and your eyes flickered to him for a second, only to find his gaze already on you, causing you to shudder before you reminded yourself about the task ahead of you.

“Pull the plug of the machine!” You instructed him and he immediately followed your orders.

Finally, coffee stopped leaking out and you put your hands down in relief. Lowering your head, you noticed the mess that you were covered in and then you decided to take a look at him as well, and you wanted to burst out laughing. His head was leaking coffee and it was hilarious, you could barely keep your laughter in as you bit down on your bottom lip, unsuccessfully stopping yourself from snickering at him.

He attempted to hide a smile, “What you laughing at?”

That was the tip of the iceberg and you were suddenly bent in two as you laughed loudly and freely, his chest exploding at the sight. He swore he had never heard a more beautiful sound in his whole life and if he could’ve replayed it in his head over and over again forever, he would’ve.

“I love the new look.” You tried to choke out.

“You done?” And he really wished you weren’t.

You picked up a clean towel from the drawer, took a step closer to him and began to dry his forehead with it, a faint chuckle still coming from your lips — the same ones his eyes were focusing on.

“Two years I’ve been working here and this never happened.”

“Can’t ever say life with me is boring, can you, doll?” He smirked.

You smiled up at him, easily causing his pulse to speed up and his palms to get clammy. He couldn’t help himself but admire you, adoration swimming in the blue orbits of his eyes as you tried to clean his damp skin, a task that became harder than it should’ve thanks to the way he was making you nervous just by looking at you.

“Yeah,” you breathed out, “It sure isn’t.” Your hand fell on his chest, his heart beating like crazy beneath your palm, and you stopped your motions at the realization that he was fighting against himself just as much as you were.

“Fuck it.” He whispered before pressing his lips on yours, taking you by surprise, but you didn’t stop him.

How could you have stopped him? His hands held your body against his so close that one might’ve thought you were his lifeline, and perhaps you were. Your palms slowly run up his neck, then the back of his head, until your fingers were playing with the shorthair of his buzzcut, giving him the green light to thrust his tongue inside your mouth. He massaged your tongue as you moaned, and he had to stop himself from throwing you on the first surface he could’ve found and rip your clothes off.

Rafe knew that he was losing it, that his sanity was slipping from his fingers, but god, the taste of your goddamn cherry lips was more than enough for him to throw everything he believed in away and keep you close to him. He ached to have you and he didn’t want to share you with anyone else, that much he knew when he gave in to his desires and picked you up to place you on the counter. Your legs wrapped around his midsection on their own and your fingers didn’t hesitate to close his shirt in a fist and pull him impossibly closer. The strong smell of coffee was engulfing the two of you and you were sure you were going to always think about this moment whenever you would’ve encountered that smell.

Whenever you thought about ending things, the guilt eating you alive, Rafe pulled you right back in and, like a moth to a flame, you let him every time. In that moment, he realized where your heart truly lied, and it wasn’t with Matt — it was with him, right then and since the moment his eyes had laid on you. He only wished for you to get to the same conclusion, but were you ever going to trust him with your heart? He didn’t want to ruin your happiness with Matthew, however, he knew that he didn’t feel the same way as he did, his chest didn’t ache for you the same way his did and he sure as hell couldn’t have loved you as much as Rafe did.

“Rafe,” you came back to your senses and pushed him away, “This is wrong. I shouldn’t —“

“How is this any different from what we’ve been doing?”

You shook your head, tears already welling up in your eyes, “I should go.” You quickly jumped off the counter you were sitting on and began to gather your things.

“Baby, wait —“

“Just —“ you interrupted him, ignoring the way your heart had skipped a beat at the new nickname, and took a deep breath before continuing, “Just pretend this never happened, okay?”

And it was as if you had just ripped his heart right out of his chest. He tried to swallow the lump in his throat as he watched you leave in a hurry. He felt petrified, he didn’t know what to do or how to react, and the feeling of your skin beneath his touch still fresh in his memory didn’t help him come back to reality.

—

Breathe in. Breathe out.

That was what you kept telling yourself as you stood outside the Delta Mu house. The intimidating building wasn’t scary to you anymore, what was really terrifying and made your insides churn was what you were about to do. It was time and it was the right thing to do. Emma knew it way before and she had been correct, you just didn’t want her to be, but it was time that you faced the reality: you had to cut it out with Rafe.

You entered the building with a weight on your chest, insurmountable and incredibly heavy, and yet your brain kept screaming at you that you had to do it, however, your heart didn’t seem to be on the same page. What you felt for Rafe couldn’t be compared to anything you had ever felt with anyone else before in your life, including Matt, but your feelings weren’t reciprocated, you were convinced that he only wanted one thing from you and it wasn’t a relationship for sure. You had brainwashed yourself into thinking that he didn’t want you in any way except under his bedsheet, and that had been your biggest mistake.

Staring at the wooden door of his dorm room, you finally got the courage to knock on it, however, it opened on its own, not having realized that it hadn’t been locked.

“Rafe?” You questioned as you stepped inside only to find a blonde woman sitting on his bed. Your throat closed up and your eyes began to sting, but you attempted at maintaining that last bit of dignity that you still had. “Oh hi, I’m sorry, I didn’t know Rafe had…uhm, company.”

She grinned and cocked her head to the side as her eyes looked you up and down, and you felt small. You had been right; he was only player, that was what he— “You must be the girl.” She said, amused.

“Excuse me?”

She raised from the bed and approached you, her hand reached out to silently ask you to shake it. “I’m Sarah.” Sarah, Sarah, Sarah…why did that name sound so familiar? “I’m Rafe’s sister.” His sister. Of course. You finally decided to shake her hand and shyly showed her a smile. “And you’re the girl.”

You let out a faint chuckle, “I’m sorry, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m Y/n.”

“Oh, I know my brother, and I know that there’s only one girl right now that would come to his room.”

You could feel heat creeping up your cheeks. “It’s not what you think! I didn’t come here to—“

“I know. Which is why i said that you’re the girl, I mean the girl that he’s been head over heels for a while now. You must be a special one.”

“It’s not like that…”

“Oh, it is.” As she sweetly smiled at you, you could see the resemblance with her brother and it reminded you of the reason why you were there.

You cleared your throat, “Is he…here?”

“He’s in the shower, he’ll be out in a bit.”

“Okay, thanks. I can wait for him outside—“

“Nonsense! Are you kidding me? Someone finally turned Rafe into a sap and you think I’ll let you get off the hook so easily? I need to know what kind of sorcery you used.” She exclaimed as she grabbed your arm and pulled you further inside the room.

“Listen, that’s not what’s going on, maybe you have me confused with someone else?” Although the thought of another woman winning his heart made a dreadful feeling crawl up inside you.

“You work with him, don’t you?” Sarah asked and you only nodded at her question. “Yeah, it’s definitely you. No other person he would’ve rejected our dad’s money for. I told you, you’re a special one.”

Your eyes were about to pop out of your skull. “He what?”

“Hey Sarah, did you bring me—“ Rafe’s question got cut off by the sight of you talking to his younger sister. He was drying his hair with a towel, his torso naked while only a pair of sweatpants was hanging from his hips when his arm had been frozen in the air. “Y/n,” he breathed, “What are you doing here?” He took big steps to get closer to you, unsaid words that wanted to spill out almost threatening to come out right at that moment.

“Is that true? Did you reject your dad’s money?” You asked breathless as you tried to read his expression and ignored his question.

He looked at Sarah and then back at you before he gently grabbed your forearm and began to lead you outside, “Not here,” was all he said while you two walked down the hallway.

“I need to know, Rafe.”

He sighed, “Let it go, Y/n. It’s not important.”

You shrugged his hand off of you and turned around to face him. “But it is. Why are you still working? The deal was to help you out, too, but you don’t need that anymore.”

Shaking his head and scoffing at your words, he walked down the stairs to go into the common kitchen of the fraternity house, with you hot on his heels. “The deal, right…” He chuckled humorlessly, “You don’t know what I need. I said let it go.”

“For God’s sake, just tell me!” You frustratedly yelled, catching some people’s attention.

Rafe walked with you outside because he didn’t want any other unwanted listeners, only to realize that it was pouring down rain, therefore you stood in the porch as you calmed down from your previous outburst.

Unsuccessfully.

“That was dumb, Rafe! You could’ve gone back to your normal life.” ‘You could’ve avoided to make me fall in love with you’ was what you were really thinking, but was scared to say out loud. What good would’ve made?

“Who said that I wanted to go back?!” He was the one who sounded angry then, a million emotions swimming through the ocean of those eyes that you had desperately tried to forget about, but failed.

“Oh, c’mon!” You threw your hands in the air. “Even your friends can’t see you working there, hell, you know you don’t like working there, that’s not the life for you. You don’t want this job. You needed the money and—“

“It’s not about the job, Y/n! It was never about the goddamn job!” He interrupted you, yelling while he now found himself soaked from the rain after having taken a couple of steps to get some air.

You stared at him, and you were almost unsure to ask the next question. “Then why did you do all this? Why did you let me teach you about it? And why didn’t you break the deal sooner?”

“Because I fell in love with you!” He finally admitted, raising his voice once again as a single tear spilled out from his eye. He was surprised with his own statement and placed his hands on his face, running them down in exasperation before he whispered, “Shit.”

Your feet felt like they were glued to the ground, your hands were shaking and you didn’t know how you were still standing on your own two feet. “W-what?” Was all you mustered to get out.

He shook his head and took a step to walk on the porch and stand next to you once again as he began to say, “Y/n, listen—“ But you stopped him right in his tracks because you wanted to get out of there as soon as possible, which was why you were also being soaked by the rain, but you didn’t care, not when your heart was pounding in your chest and salty tears were about to run down your cheeks.

“You don’t love me, Rafe. Don’t bullshit me.” You walked towards the gate of the house, ready to go home and avoid the conversation.

“What?!”

Turning back around to look at him, you gave him an answer, “When have you ever been in love? We’re not doing this, it’s crazy. Stop playing with me.”

He quickly ran to you and an indecipherable expression had casted upon him. “I’m not playing with you.” He rasped for he was now close enough for you to hear him without yelling over the storm.

“You love that I’m always at your beck and call, you don’t love me.” You admit the last words bitterly, avoiding his eyes.

“Oh but he does, right?” His words brought your gaze back on him, your eyebrows squeezing together, “You’ll always believe that he’s better than me.”

You shook your head, “That’s not what I said.”

Rafe swallowed and finally decided to speak his mind. His heart seemed to want to crawl out of his throat, it being completely on the line as he said, “Then you gotta choose, right here, right now. It’s either him or me.”

A million bricks fell on you; was he really doing what you thought he was? You felt trapped, confused and doomed all at once. “Rafe-“

“No!” He interrupted you, “I’m tired, Y/n. You can’t expect me to kiss you like that and then watch you leave with someone else. So make a choice.”

Tears threatened to spill out as you gazed into his eyes and you swore you could tell the desperation in them, but your head kept reminding you that he wasn’t a relationship guy and he wouldn’t have changed his mind for you. “I - I can’t do that, Rafe! It’s different. He’s my boyfriend and you’re - you’re my…friend.”

If you had twisted a knife in his chest, it would’ve hurt much less. “Right. Of course. What we do is something I always do with my friends, you know?”

“You’re being unfair.” You pointed a finger at him and poked his chest in an accusatory manner. “You knew what this was from the start.”

He walked even closer to you, bending his head and making you stare into his eyes. Your breaths were mixing and your fingers ached to touch him. “Then look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t feel anything for me. Tell me you feel nothing.” He whispered.

“Rafe…”

“Tell me that you’ve never felt anything for me.” You could feel his lips almost brushing yours, “Tell me you feel nothing right now.” He finally mumbled.

The rain had already soaked the both of you, your clothes were stuck to your skin and you could sense your feet getting ice cold from your shoes being drowned, and yet, what bothered you the most was that his mouth wasn’t on yours. Placing one hand on his chest, you gently, and reluctantly, pushed him away.

“I can’t.”

Putting some distance between you, he nodded his head in disappointment. “Let me know when you’ve made up your mind.” And with that, he was gone.

taglist:

@gemofthenight @vigilanteshitposting @m-indkiller @buckysdogtagss @yoonabeo @iruzias @babypoguelife @poppet05 @earth2starkey @illicitfixations @palmwinemami @marzipaanz @wildflwrdarlin @sweetestdesire @guililove @colbysbrocks @magnificantmermaid @chaostudee @rafesmoon @mistalli @fangirl-madz @canarysposts @screan @fishingirl12 @darleneslane @mattyskies @rafecluver @pedrosprincess @jjmaybankisbae @em-dee @rentaldarling @houseofperfecttaste @3in1shampooconditionerbodywash @michelle-26 @imawhoreforu @pankowperfection @pedrosprincess @buckyhad @kliness @sugarcoatedstarkey @starkeybae @lexi1sblog @starxsluv @wickedlovely121 @softlies @outerbankspov @littlefreaksatellite @aris-void @maybankslover @dogmomalsop @savage-aespa @hallecarey1 @emery-333 @camelliaflow3r @midnightsgetawaycar @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles @wpdailyminimeta + in the comments!

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antimatterz · 11 months

Note

haiiii!!! so ur recent post abt how hsr characters would take it if u didnt log in for a while got me kind of thinking,,,, me personally i always log in at the most ungodly hours. 2 in the morning farming planar ornaments for jing yuan....,, i have never played hsr at a regular time. this is not a flex this is a cry for help. what do you think abt hsr characters having to rise and grind at hours that no man should be awake at ? :3 every single day ? :3

late-night game sessions

dan heng, gepard, blade, sampo, jing yuan x gn!reader

summary: you have a habit of grinding and farming and just being online at the most ungodly hours of the night. how do they react?

cw: fluff, humor, self-aware au

enyo's note: okay i absolutely loved this idea. also it's such a mood? i used to log in at the strangest hours in genshin hehe. with honkai i try to keep it normal but it was still so funny to imagine their reactions ^^ i might do a part two with the girlies !

content under the cut | masterlist

dan heng

it's been a few months since you started playing honkai star rail and nothing has changed about your habit of logging in late at night – or early in the morning. yet, dan heng has a hard time getting used to it. every time you awake him at four o'clock he gazes at you, dazed and confused, before he realizes it's that time again. "y/n, this isn't healthy for you," he mumbles every time, but he still gets up and accompanies you with no further complaints. give him a few minutes to adjust and he will be the sharp warrior he is by daylight! but as soon as you're done and log out, he'll pass out too lol.

gepard landau

he's definitely the most concerned out of everyone. and the most sleepy, too. he has a hard time waking up, and as soon as his eyes are open, they gaze at you with worry. "y/n, you should be asleep, don't you know what time it is?" he asks groggily, but he gets up regardless and readies himself to go out with you. i sincerely hope you're not at full 180 trailblaze power because this guy struggles to stay awake and provide shields, but he tries so so so hard for you and it's adorable. and he manages, just barely so, as he's super sleepy. please promise him that you'll go to sleep when you log out, or else he will remain worried.

blade

he might not show it, but you habit of skipping sleep and logging in at night to farm planar ornaments kinda worries him. he himself might not need much sleep so he isn't too bothered by having to work with you late at night, but he clearly sees the darkening bags under your eyes as you lead him through the simulated universe. but again, he doesn't really show it and silently does what you ask him to do. only when you're finished farming and are about to log out for the night, he makes you look at him. "go to sleep now, okay?" he sternly demands, but his eyes are softer than usual.

sampo koski

out of everyone, he would be the least bothered. he's practically nocturnal himself so it's not much out of the ordinary for him if you log in at three in the morning and ask him to join you on another farming trip to grind for relics and ascension materials. okay, maybe he slightly realizes that the two of you should be asleep but does he care? not really. he doesn't complain, is happy to spend time with you, and does everything you ask him to without spilling as much as a yawn or complaint. if any, he enjoys your nightly adventures!

jing yuan

well, this is an interesting combination. a sleepy general and a nocturnal being who asks him to grind at night, meaning jing yuan has to skip on his precious sleep. don't get me wrong, he doesn't complain and accompanies you without hesitation, but he isn't a night owl and it shows. he's waaay more quiet and not as smooth, yawns a lot and is pretty droswy in general. he's still a skilled warrior who clears the caverns of corrosion with ease but you can tell he is a tad bit out of it. please let him rest as soon as you're out of trailblaze power lol.

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ros3ybabe · 18 days

Text

Daily Check-in: May 9, 2024 🎀

Thursday was a good day that ended on a sour note, but that happens sometimes, especially ok days when my therapy sessions go a little deeper. But it's all a part of the healing process.

🩷 What I Accomplished:

read 10 pages of a book

studied Spanish for 23 minutes

booked an italki lesson for the 21st

had an hour long therapy session

did my full night skincare

planned out some stuff

rescheduled my plans with my friend for Friday since she had stuff she had forgotten about

talked to my dad

zoomed with my boyfriend

re evaluated some of my health goals and action step

💞 Good Things That Happened:

I passed psyc with an A and all my grades are currently passing

I bought a watermelon!!!

took a 45 minute nap

my roommates washed some of my dishes (they've been petty for jo reason lately and have not been very nice so seeing that they did some of my dishes was nice. despite them throwing away my full, barely opened bag of spinach. but oh well)

💗 Stuff For Friday

cleaning final for restaurant class 1030am to 130pm

study spanish

read my daily minimum of a book

re plan my workouts for next week

sort out getting back to my morning routine

do my night time skincare

finish my very last assignment for the semester

go shopping and grab coffee with my friend

Thursday reminded me that I don't like staying in my room/in my bed like that because it just brings me down. My goals for this summer before I head to Colorado are to take walks, stay active, sit at my desk, keep my step count up, and just take care of myself. I deserve all the self-love and self care <3

💕 Song of The Day: aespa - Spicy

this feels like a summer vibe type of song.

til next time lovelies 🩷

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baddiesofluxury · 9 months

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Sunday Reset Routine for Busy 9-5 Working Baddies

This routine is designed to help you recharge and prepare for the upcoming week:

Step 1: Wake Up and Hydrate

Start your day by waking up at a consistent time to maintain your sleep schedule.

Drink a glass of water to hydrate your body and kickstart your metabolism.

Step 2: Morning Movement

Engage in a short workout, such as a brisk walk, yoga session, or quick home workout routine.

Exercise can boost your energy levels and improve your mood for the day.

Step 3: Healthy Breakfast

Prepare a nutritious breakfast that includes a balance of protein, whole grains, and fruits or veggies.

A healthy breakfast fuels your body and brain for the day ahead.

Step 4: Review and Plan

Take a few minutes to review your schedule for the upcoming week.

Create a to-do list or set priorities to help you stay organized and focused.

Step 5: Cleaning and Organizing

Spend 15-20 minutes tidying up your living space. Decluttering can help create a calming environment.

Organize your workbag, prepare your outfit for Monday, and gather any essentials you'll need.

Step 6: Meal Prep

Plan and prep some meals or snacks for the week ahead. Chop veggies, cook some proteins, or assemble easy-to-grab options.

This saves time during busy weekdays and encourages healthier eating.

Step 7: Self-Care Break

Take a break to engage in a self-care activity you enjoy. This could be reading, taking a bath, or practicing mindfulness.

Step 8: Digital Detox

Consider taking a break from screens for a couple of hours. Disconnecting helps reduce stress and improves sleep quality.

Step 9: Reflect and Journal

Spend a few minutes reflecting on the past week. Note your accomplishments, challenges, and lessons learned.

Write down any thoughts or intentions for the upcoming week.

Step 10: Relaxing Evening

Wind down with a calming activity, like watching a movie, reading a book, or spending quality time with loved ones.

Step 11: Pre-Bedtime Routine

Prepare for a good night's sleep by following a consistent pre-bedtime routine.

Avoid screens, dim the lights, and engage in relaxation techniques like deep breathing.

Step 12: Get Ready for Monday

Lay out your clothes for Monday, gather work essentials, and pack your lunch if needed.

Having everything ready reduces morning stress and helps you start the week smoothly.

Step 13: Early Bedtime

Aim for an early bedtime to ensure you get enough rest for the week ahead.

Establishing a consistent sleep routine supports your overall well-being.

Remember, the key is to adapt this routine to your preferences and needs. Each step doesn't have to take a lot of time, but collectively, they can help you feel more organized, relaxed, and ready to tackle the work week ahead.

#black femininity #black luxury #leveling up #femininity #blackwomen #selflovemovement #pretty privilege #self care #self love #black girl luxury #hyperfemininity #hyper feminine #hypergamous #self care sunday #sunday reset

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digitalgirlguide · 3 months

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Beyond Bubble Baths: A Realistic Guide to Wellness, Hygiene Hacks, Energy Cleansing, and the Art of Setting Healthy Boundaries

self-care as we know it has been reduced to retail therapy and splurging on skincare and the the essence of true well-being often gets lost in the noise of buying stuff.

you're not alone, i'm guilty of this too.if i'm sad i buy thing. i'm happy? i buy things.

and not saying that self care can't be buying yourself things because you feel like it but that's not a true reflection of self care.

self-care is a disciplined commitment to becoming the best version of yourself while tuning into your body's needs.

so what does realistic self care look like?

Take a few minutes each morning to set intentions for the day ahead.

practice gratitude by writing 3 things you're grateful for or using some of these prompts:

What are three things you are thankful for as you start your day? Consider the small details that often go unnoticed.

Recall a specific moment from today that brought a smile to your face or warmed your heart. Describe it in detail and express gratitude for that experience.

Think about any unexpected surprises or acts of kindness that came your way. How did they make you feel, and why are you grateful for them?

Before your next meal, reflect on the journey of your food from its source to your plate. Express gratitude for the nourishment it provides your body.

Organizing your day/week:

Plan with Purpose: Start your week with a glance at your calendar or planner. Note any upcoming deadlines, appointments, or social events. (A little prep goes a long way!)

Prioritize with Intent: Identify your top priorities for the week and break them down into manageable tasks. Tackling the most crucial items first ensures a sense of accomplishment. (Check off those big to-dos, and watch the momentum build!)

Time Blocking: Allocate specific time blocks for various activities. This technique helps maintain focus and prevents the day from slipping away in a blur. (Time blocking = your new productivity bestie.)

Flexibility is Key: While planning is essential, leave room for flexibility. Life throws curveballs, and being adaptable ensures you can navigate unexpected changes with grace. (Embrace the spontaneity – it's the spice of life!)

Self-Care Slots: Intentionally carve out moments for self-care throughout the week. Whether it's a short walk, a cozy reading break, or a meditation session, these are non-negotiable appointments with yourself. (Because self-love is a crucial part of productivity.)

Schedule regular social activities to stay connected: Meaningful connections are the backbone of a healthy support system. (Humans need socialization – it's science!)

Hygiene tips for mind and body

Begin your day with a cleansing ritual that extends beyond the physical. Consider practices like meditation (Remember, a cluttered mind can be just as burdensome as a cluttered space.)

Incorporate energy cleansing techniques into your routine, such as using crystals (clear quartz, black tourmaline, amethyst, rose quartz, selenite) to clear negative energy from your surroundings. (Just as we dust and declutter our physical spaces, it's important to cleanse the energetic residue that accumulates throughout our day-to-day lives.)

Recognize the importance of setting boundaries and restricting access to yourself when necessary. (You're not obligated to be constantly available to others, and it's okay to prioritize your own needs and well-being.) Surround yourself with people who uplift and inspire you, who make you feel good and encourage you to be your best self. (Life is too short to waste time on relationships that drain your energy and diminish your spirit.)

Embrace a straightforward yet consistent skincare routine. Cleanse, moisturize, and shield your skin from the sun – simplicity meets effectiveness.

Practice regular handwashing to ward off germs, especially before meals and after restroom visits. (Your hands will thank you, and so will your immune system.)

Simple ways to show up for yourself everyday

Practice self-compassion and forgiveness, recognizing that perfection is an illusion and mistakes are opportunities for growth. (We're all human, and it's okay to stumble along the way.)

Listen to your body's signals and honor its needs, whether that means nourishing yourself with wholesome food, getting regular exercise, or allowing yourself time to rest and recharge. (Your body is your greatest ally and deserves to be treated with kindness and respect.)

Embrace moments of joy and playfulness, indulging in activities that bring you laughter and delight. (Life is meant to be savored, not endured.)

let's reshape the narrative of self-care into a journey of discipline, mindfulness, and attunement to our inner voices.

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klausysworld · 11 months

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Hii, I love your work <3, it's so good

I was wondering if you could do a Klaus x reader when Klaus is reader's psychologist or therapist and he knows all her shit and falls in love with her (I'd even like to see some jealousy from Klaus because reader always chooses men who treat her horrible and he tries to be professional about it but in the end he can't, he kind of thinks he would treat her better (even in the sexual part))

Which would hurt more?

Klaus had been seeing his client Y/n L/Y/N for a few weeks now, once on a Sunday and again on a Thursday for an hour or so each time depending on his schedule and if he could push other clients back to hear her.

He knew he probably shouldn’t have a favourite patient but despite most of their conversations being on rather traumatic or emotional topics, he looked forward to seeing her and listening to everything happening in her day to day life as well as her past.

He enjoyed seeing her progress and helping her to understand her own feelings. Even if he mostly listened and offered advice that he knew she wouldn’t actually use.

So there he was already waiting on his chair with the door open for her to come in while he got the past session notes out. His lips turned up as he heard her voice ring from the hall

“I’m so sorry I’m late Dr Mikaelson, I got caught up” she explained, through heavy breathing as she rushed in and closed the door before going to her usual choice of seating opposite him.

“Not an issue y/n, and please call me Klaus” he smiled at her and she quickly mirrored it as she dropped her bag and brushed the hair out of her face. “So, how was your morning?” He questioned while clicking his pen

“Well- okay so last night I was out with this guy right? Whatever, stayed the night at his but then woke up and I was like shit. I’m on the other side of town, no car, lost my keys, the dick took my cash from my purse and disappeared before I woke up and I couldn’t find my phone anywhere so I had to find my own way here without any money. Ergo I ran cuz I woke late and I’m just behind on everything, you?” She rushed out in one long breath leaving him speechless for a moment before glancing to his empty page.

And then began a long session about her decisions, how she got to them, how she would do them differently and why she thinks she chooses then more often than she’d like.

See Y/n seemed to do this a lot. From what Klaus could tell, she frequently allowed random men to use her body only to feel awful about herself after. He assumed it to be her own version of self harm, abusing her body to try feel better for a moment.

Problem was she didn’t see it that way, and he knew she planned to keep doing it. And although he had many suggestions, he couldn’t exactly tell her what she can and can’t do.

But he could be there for her and try to help her find a better way to her future.

And over time, he managed to see some change in her behaviour. She got more self aware and was able to move past some of her childhood trauma.

The problem with her being self aware was that she knew what she was doing and it was only upsetting her more each time she had to tell him that she’d done it again.

And although he hasn’t ever hugged a patient in the past, he couldn’t help but comfort her as she cried for nearly the entire session. It was his main mistake.

Having her in his arms felt too good for her to be just a client. Being able to smell her hair as her face nuzzled his neck was delightful and in that moment he wished they were stood in his their own house, under entirely different circumstances and together.

Of course once she pulled away and sniffled her ‘thank you’ back to him, he snapped out of it and cleared his throat to try and push away his thoughts.

And from then it only got worse.

One hug became many over the weeks, until she was greeting him and leaving him with a cuddle each time.

And then the dreams kicked in, he knew he could treat her so much better than any other and he loathed every man who took advantage of her vulnerable state. He just wanted to have her as his, to hold and love her like she deserved.

Of course he tried to shove his thoughts away when he actually saw her but then she began wearing more intriguing outfits. Revealing and suggestive clothing that surely drove his mind mad.

His eyes would shut and his lips would part as her breasts pushed right up against him and she hummed with her lips by his ear. Klaus couldn’t help his mind wondering to the idea of having his face between said breasts, hands squeezing and fingers pinching. He couldn’t help glance down for a second as they pulled away to get a peek at her cleavage and when he looked back to her eyes he knew she knew and that made it harder.

Months went by and he found himself waking up with her name fresh on his lips, cock up and solid, sweat coating his body as he groaned aloud and pulled the blanket off his body only to sigh in defeat at the cum that already covered his abs.

She made it difficult to concentrate on anything she was saying now that such a rich red lipstick painted her lips each day, his note book became more and more blank each session and he seemed to find himself picturing her in all sorts of positions as she told him about another imbecile she slept with. God he just wanted to have her beneath him, head back as she screamed his name and forgot about every fool she had ever been with before.

And when she kept coming to him upset or hurt both physically and/or emotionally by another boy…he couldn’t stop himself from snapping and telling her she needed to stop abusing herself which caused a heavy silence to hang over them.

She had cleared her throat and pulled at her jacket to hide her breasts that she had originally wanted on display for him.

And that’s when he realised that he was another person who she though would use her and leave her. She wanted him to hurt her.

He stood up slowly and moved to sit beside her on the couch she were on, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to him, he rest his chin on top her head and sighed through his nose

“I shouldn’t have said that, I’m sorry y/n” he told her

“It’s fine, you’re right” she whispered but he could hear the crack in her voice and it hurt his heart.

He kissed her temple tenderly and helped her onto his lap which probably wasn’t his finest idea but he did so nevertheless. His hand gently rubbed up and down her arm as she bit the inside of her cheek in an attempt to not cry again in front of him even though it was what he was there for.

“I never mean to upset you sweetheart” he murmured, tucking some of her hand behind her ear

“I’m sorry” she whispered and he frowned

“No lovely, never be sorry, it’s my job to listen to you. I was very out of line…” he thought for a moment before his brain gave him a brilliant idea “how about we do something to cheer you up? You like sweet things don’t you y/n, how about we go to the cafe just down the street?” He offered

“Is that allowed?” She asked quietly, of course she wanted to spend time with him and she had purple been trying to get his attention but now she was getting it, she worried that it would hurt his career. He was a highly recommended psychologist and she wouldn’t ever want to ruin his reputation.

He hesitated for a moment before sighing “probably not no…but I’ll go get you something and bring it back okay? You happy to wait here?” He leaned back to see her face as she turned to him.

“Are you sure? I’ll grab my purse so-“

“Nonsense love, It’s my version of an apology” he hushed her as he stood “just stay here, snoop if you must and I’ll be back shortly” he kissed her forehead before leaving.

It was an odd situation to be in, her psychologist holding and kissing her and buying her things to make her feel better.

She thought she’d seduce him, fuck him and then he’d have to let her go as a client and she’d be on her own again. But he didn’t take her against his desk and then throw her out, he kept looking out for her, taking care of her and being kind. It was bizarre and everything in her argued on whether she should run or stay.

She wasn’t sure which would hurt more. Staying, falling completely in love with someone she knew she wasn’t allowed or running away from the only good thing in her life at the moment.

She was never great at decisions and Klaus knew that.

Which is why he wasn’t overly surprised when he got back with the cakes in his hands only to find that she had left only a note as a sign she had once been there.

He placed the food down and sighed, he shouldn’t have left her alone. He didn’t know what he was thinking anymore. He just knew that she was important to him now and he needed to find her, sooner rather than later.

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femmefatalevibe · 2 years

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Femme Fatale Playbook: How To Cultivate Self-Regard (In Every Area Of Life)

How to live with self-respect in every aspect of life. Here's your ultimate guide to living in your dark feminine energy.

Living with self-regard (or self-respect) means understanding that you cannot pour from an empty cup and the importance of making yourself your #1 priority. Feeling your best also has a domino effect. You become a better friend, boss, sibling, parent, child, lover, etc. when you feel comfortable with yourself and content in your own skin. Of course, some of these practices will apply to more than one area of life (ex. Sleep improves your physical and mental health and a good night’s rest can also be considered an act of self-care), but these principles/examples are divided up to streamline these tips. Enjoy xx

Areas of Life:

Career

Self-Care/Self-Development

Finances

Physical Health

Mental Health/Emotional Well-Being

Sexual Health/Sexuality & Sensuality

Relationships (All Types - Friends, Family, Work, Intimate)

Career:

Discover what you love: Find the subject matters, industries, and a way of adding value that lights you up inside. Take a job or get creative in your methodology to make this area of interest into your career.

Set clear goals: Do I want to work at a particular company? What position/title? Do I want to go out on my own – who are my dream clients, work volume, lifestyle, business structure, income? Write all these details down and strategize small, practical daily tasks/habits to reach your goal.

Build an indispensable skillset: Research, case-building, copywriting, strategic planning, computer programming, sales, data analytics, etc. Learn transferable skills to guarantee you'll always have something valuable to bring to the table in our ever-changing world/work culture. Start with one and accumulate more as you work towards self-mastery.

Know your worth: Negotiate – your salary, rates, workday structure, corporate benefits, PTO, etc. Never let someone have you begging for breadcrumbs or the bare minimum.

Speak up (when necessary): Communicate – clearly, directly, and assertively. Don't let someone walk all over you. Finish your sentences with certainty even if someone tries to interrupt you while you're speaking. Advocate for yourself, whether you're trying to secure a promotion, a new project, a proposed solution for a client, or taking a necessary break. Also, know when it's in your best interest to stay silent. Ensure your integrity remains intact. The truth of a matter speaks volumes.

Organize your day (Prioritize!): Set yourself up to win by outlining your priorities first before others' tasks and projects consume your mind and calendar. List your top 3 to-dos for the day that are non-negotiables for you and will inch you closer to your goals. I recommend the Productivity Planner for daily use.

Keep records: Have email records and call notes regarding every interaction and decision written down. This practice enables you to stand your ground when necessary and saves you a lot of trouble.

Set boundaries: Proudly affirm your 'no' to a project, any disrespectful comment, or too many nights of overtime work. Schedule and stick to your breaks and the time you clock out (within reason, of course). Never allow a company or endeavor to run you into the ground at the expense of your mental or physical health.

Make connections: Cultivating a network of mentors, colleagues, and peers in the same or adjacent fields is priceless. These connections can lead to new opportunities, provide a healthy and productive space to explore ideas, or generally vent and exchange advice. Strike up that conversation at lunch or an event. Follow up with a LinkedIn request or thoughtful email. You never know what this conversation might lead to and the opportunities it can bring.

Self-Care/Self-Development:

Create daily/weekly rituals: Establish ones that add a little joy and streamline your day. These habits can range from a 10-minute yoga or meditation session every morning, to practicing morning pages or a daily shadow work prompt, reading 10 pages daily, getting your steps in, and planning your tasks, lunch, and outfit for the next day the night before to creating a weekly house-cleaning schedule or meal planning. Discover systems that allow you to put yourself first and set you up to win the day.

Find ways to feel beautiful: Create luscious skincare, shower, and hair/makeup/nail routines that make you feel like a queen. Invest in well-fitting, high-quality wardrobe staples. Make your favorite cup of coffee or tea daily. Keep your signature scent on hand. Exfoliate. Invest in matching pajama sets.

Indulge all of your senses: Light a candle. Put on a moody playlist to relax, focus, unwind, or turn you on – any melody that suits the occasion and gets you in the zone. Take a bubble bath or do a face mask. Relish in a warm beverage or a healthful, comforting meal. Use silk pillowcases, hair ties, and bed sheets. Pamper yourself with small everyday luxuries.

Expand your knowledge: Make it a priority to read a few articles and 10 pages of a book daily. Being educated on different topics and the world provides you with personal fulfillment and enables you to enter into a wider pool of conversations. This practice also strengthens your mind, sharpens focus, and helps your brain relax.

Explore your interests: Learn what subjects and activities light you up inside. Whether it's painting, dancing, tennis, spin classes, learning about ancient world history, politics, fashion, science, etc. Take time to study and practice in these areas of interest.

Embrace your creative side: Write, read, draw, create a mood board, explore Pinterest or Tumblr, style outfits, organize a section of your room, cook a new recipe, make a playlist – any fun activity that ignites creativity.

Plan dates for yourself: Take yourself out for coffee, lunch, a shopping date, or even a mini vacation. You deserve to enjoy experiences and derive pleasure from enjoying these life moments without worrying about anyone but yourself.

Remember to rest: Getting 7-8 hours of sleep nightly and taking breaks is essential for productivity and overall well-being. Never feel guilty for allowing your body and mind to recover. Neglecting rest only backfires if you're playing the long-term game.

Finances:

Know your income/expense ratio: Ensure you know exactly how much money is coming in and going out every month. Create a personal balance sheet to audit your financial well-being.

Track everything: Keep a record of every stream of income and where every dollar is going – expenses, savings, estimated taxes, investments, charity, etc.

Have a set emergency fund: Between 3-12 months of expenses should be ready in a high-yield savings account at all times. If you have a family or are self-employed, aim for 6-12 months of necessary savings to stay sane. Saving this amount of money takes time. Be patient, and cut back on frivolous expenses if needed for the short term. It's an act of self-care.

Invest (especially in a Roth IRA or backdoor Roth IRA): Set one up through Vanguard or Fidelity ASAP if you have not already. Don't underestimate the importance of compound interest on your financial future and security.

Automatically pay yourself first: Automate a portion of your paycheck to savings and your investments, so you never see this money. Pay yourself first before spending (on anything but necessities).

Always max out your 401K employer-matching: Make sure you know what percentage your employer will match and always meet this investment requirement. Do yourself the favor. It's literally free money.

Only spend on your essentials & what you actually enjoy: Invest in pleasurable items and activities strategically. Only spend on additional experiences and products that add value to your life. Cut unfulfilling expenses.

Read about personal finance/speak with your brokerage firm: Take time to read about these topics and learn everything your parents didn't teach you or were not taught at school. Use licensed professionals (CPAs, brokerage firms, etc.) as a resource, too, for your personal goals.

Use savings plug-ins/discount codes

Physical Health:

Cook/eat healthy meals: At least 80% of the time. Focus on eating whole foods and a (mainly) plant-based diet. I've been vegan for 10 years and it's done wonders for my body, skin, and mental clarity.

Drink plenty of water daily: Set a target of ounces = to your weight in pounds. Incorporate lemon, lime, orange wedges, or frozen berries if necessary to keep this habit interesting.

Find workouts you love: Whether that's low-impact like pilates, yoga, walking or dance classes, spin classes, weight-lifting, etc. The best exercise routine is the one you can gladly maintain.

Make daily movement a priority: At least 15-30 minutes daily. I aim for 10-12K steps at least 5 days a week.

Limit processed foods, alcohol, cigarettes

Step outside: Get at least 10 minutes of sun daily, weather permitting. Always wear sunscreen.

Sleep Well: Aim for 7-8 hours (Create a sleep hygiene routine!)

Maintain proper hygiene: Shower daily, moisturize, wash your hair on your necessary schedule, brush your body from head to toe, etc.

Do pelvic floor exercises: It does wonders for your bladder and helps to satisfy your libidinal energy.

Go to your annual appointments: Primary doctor/Obgyn/Dentist/Dermatologist

Mental Health/Emotional Well-Being:

Meditate: Some of my favorite ones are linked HERE (for anxiety), HERE, (focus/productivity), and HERE (feminine/sexual energy).

Journal: Do a daily shadow work prompt, gratitude journal exercise, or practice morning pages (stream of consciousness journaling for 3 pages every morning).

Read: 10 pages of a self-development/psychology book, at least 3-5 articles, or a chapter of a fiction or non-fiction book. Daily.

Take breaks: A 10-minute walk, a real lunch break, listening to music, making coffee. Something pleasurable to recenter your focus and energy.

Discover movement you love: Walking and dancing are your best friends.

Keep your space clean: Wipe off all surfaces and put things away daily. Keep your desk organized. Clean and put away the dishes before bed. Stick to a house cleaning schedule.

Make to-do/bullet-point lists: For every area of life – work, chores, groceries, other items you need, wishlists, activities, and hobbies you want to pursue

Schedule and plan out your week: House cleaning, laundry, work project management, email time blocking, appointments, beauty routines, workouts, etc.

Create non-negotiables: Sleep, daily walks, a healthy dinner, your skincare routine, a 15-minute shower – whatever must-do rituals you need to look and feel your best every day.

Connect with your inner circle: Make a deliberate effort to stay in touch and catch up with those who are loyal and have your best interest at heart. Make time to chat on the phone, send a text, or better yet –get coffee, lunch, drinks, or dinner weekly with at least one person who you know makes your life richer in some type of way.

Put restrictions on social media/screen time: Use your settings to limit your time on certain apps (Instagram, Twitter, Tik Tok, Facebook, etc.). I set mine for 2 hours a day. Stop checking email right before bed and first thing in the morning (at least try really hard not to –I'm so guilty of this one!).

Give freely: Be generous with those who you love, mentors, and mentees. Everyone appreciates when you put a little effort into giving someone a small thoughtful gift, doing a kind gesture, or lending an ear. It makes you feel good and can make someone's day, week, month, or year.

Set boundaries: Take time for yourself – to recharge, indulge in solo activities, have some fresh air, breathe, or sit in silence. Give freely with no expectations, but never overextend yourself. When seeking to know whether you're striking the right balance between giving and gatekeeping your energy ask yourself: Am I being kind, or do I feel like I'm losing a piece of myself when engaging with this person/attending this event? Be honest with yourself. Listen to and follow your initial gut reaction.

Go to therapy: If you can afford it, weekly (or bi-weekly, monthly) sessions are a game-changer for self-discovery, emotional regulation, and general happiness/life fulfillment.

Sexual Health/Sexuality & Sensuality:

Let go of shame: Internalize your right to pleasure. Claim ownership over this aspect of your life. It gives you confidence in and outside of the bedroom, so you move through the world with a magnetic aura and powerfully feminine energy.

Own your sexuality and preferences: Embrace who and what you're attracted to. This principle extends from your sexual orientation to your libido, turn-ons (fantasies, adult content, steamy memories, etc.), preferred positions, kinks, and devices. Sexuality and arousal are so personal. Allow yourself to be free of stigmas for the things you do in private. No one needs to know how you derive pleasure behind closed doors (unless it's a partner who's involved, of course).

Make time for self-pleasure and exploration (at least weekly): Understanding that you're in control of your own pleasure is empowering. Learning what you like is essential for sexual gratification – whether you're alone or sharing the experience with a partner.

Allow the mind-body connection to be your friend, not your enemy: Sex starts in the mind, so this point is important for climaxing. Get out of your head and into your body. Learning to enjoy your own body is a sign of self-respect.

Keep everything clean & hygienic: Only wash inside with water (no steaming!), clean any toys, and use protection. Safety and self-regard go hand-in-hand.

Find products & habits that make you feel beautiful: Invest in lingerie, sheets, perfume, body lotions, candles, wine, etc. that make you feel confident while in the mood.

Engage in playful & creative activities: Don't be shy about (safe and consensual) experimentation (I'll leave this to your imagination) and activities to build up tension, like a romantic dinner or a dancing session beforehand to make this area of your life more exciting and fulfilling.

Relationships:

Communicate expectations: Clearly and often with any individual in your life. Listen and respond. Don't react. Validate emotions when necessary. If someone cannot do the same, understand that it's almost always a sign of projection. Remain calm and confident in yourself. Always command and show up to others with the highest level of respect.

Have empathy, but not at your own expense: Live with respect and consideration for others, but remember your life is for YOU. Beware of guilt-trippers. Don't take the bait.

Set boundaries: Uphold them unapologetically. Seek to understand others' needs and boundaries, so you can be considerate of their needs too. Empathy and kindness come from a place of self-respect. They are not the same people-pleasing.

Be generous (but don’t overextend yourself): See above in the mental health section.

Be true to yourself: Authenticity is essential to personal fulfillment. Live in your uniqueness. Remember: trying to be someone else doesn't work, she's already taken. You have so much value to offer this world. Let your queen energy shine through. Live your truth. Remain self-assured. Be unapologetically you.

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minnie--verse · 5 months

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Love Bomb pt. 1 (Kim Seungmin X Reader)

I love this photo of minnie<3

summary: Two geniuses butting heads for that top student spot at their university.... the question is how far will one go to secure it?

pairing: Kim Seungmin x f!reader

genre: rivals to lovers, non idol au, crack, mostly fluff, suggestive, later chapters to include: slight angst/comfort, slow burn.

general warnings: college student!mc and college student!skz, slow burn, cursing, adult themes including but not limited to: suggestive content, cursing, mentions of death.

word count: ~3.2k

chapter content: mentions of drinking, roommate!Jeongin, average college day, nonidol!skz

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

Seungmin's alarm blared sharply in the silent darkness, jolting him awake. He fumbled for his phone on the bedside table, swiping the screen to silence the intrusive noise. The room remained shrouded in the quiet of predawn, the only illumination coming from the dim glow of streetlights filtering through the curtains.

Rubbing his eyes, Seungmin swung his legs over the edge of the bed and sat up, his mind slowly but surely taking off the rembrandt of sleep. His roommate, Jeongin, was steadily snoring and it echoed from the neighboring bed, undisturbed by the ungodly hour of the morning.

As he stood, Seungmin glanced at the clock-- 4:00 am. Most of his fellow students were likely still lost in dreams and hopefully, he thought, you would be asleep too. Seungmin had a different agenda than to slumber away the precious hours when today was packed with lectures, study sessions, more lectures, labs, and more studying so he had to have a head start.

The floor was cold beneath his feet as he padded to the bathroom, careful not to wake Jeongin. The harsh light above the mirror flickered to life, revealing a face that still carried the wariness of sleep. Seungmin studied himself in the mirror for a moment, wondering if the early mornings were finally starting to reveal themselves into the lines of his face. He shook his head, turning on the shower and letting it run hot before the water brought a welcome shock to his system. The minutes passed in a blur as he went through the motions of his morning routine-- scrubbing away drowsiness, and brushing away the taste of sleep.

As the water droplets dripped from his hair, Seungmin surveyed his reflection again. The mirror seemed to reflect not just his physical self, but the weight he was carrying of the responsibilities and expectations he’d made for himself. He had to be the best at what he does, and he wasn’t going to let someone else achieve that goal. He was determined to succeed, to make the most of every opportunity he had.

He dressed in the stillness of his room, the fabric of his clothes a quiet rustle in the dimly lit room. Seungmin softly carried himself around the dorm, gathering his books, laptop, notes, and jacket. Each item was carefully organized and packed into his bag, a silent ritual done every weekday morning.

It was GOAT student life. Seungmin had perfected it by this point, and he wasn't about to change that for anything. He shuffled around the kitchen as he cleaned up from the night before when Jeongin came out of the room, standing in the walkway of the kitchen as he watched Sungmin clean.

“You going to the open night? Chan wants to know,” Jeongin spoke through a yawn while typing away on his phone.

Seungmin turned off the faucet and placed a mug on the dish rack, “Why would I go to open day, Jeongin? I have shit to do for class if I’m gonna be top of the class.”

“Min, seriously you should get out more than just when walking between classes,” Jeongin sighed as locked his phone and stared at the back of Seungmin’s head exasperatedly, taking a seat the the island, “We’re supposed to be able to drink, play around, make friends, party, maybe even love someone at our age. And you should be at open day-- make some friends outside of the old high school group--”

“That’s so low, Jeongin.” Seungmin rolled his eyes as he turned off the faucet and grabbed a towel, “We’re not freshman anymore, you know?”

“I feel like a freshman,” Jeongin grumbled, “Why are you working so hard anyway? Isn’t your family like-- decently well off?”

Seungmin hung the towel on the oven, “I want the full scholarship for this semester, and the job market is harsh. If I look good on paper then I have a guaranteed job.”

Jeongin follows Seungmin as he slings his bag over his shoulder and makes his way across the dorm to the door as Jeongin tails behind him, “You think you can outrun Y/N for top of the class?”

Seungmin unlocks the door and furrows his eyebrows, “She’s back?” he questioned, a tinge of concern in his voice.

Jeongin nodded, enjoying the suspense as they made their way out of the resident building "Yep, just got back from studying abroad. And rumor has it, she’s already the top spot this semester."

Seungmin's eyes narrowed, absorbing the information. The rivalry with you had fueled his drive for excellence, and the prospect of facing a formidable opponent once again stirred a mix of determination and anxiety within him.

"I heard she aced all her courses overseas," Jeongin continued, a teasing smile dancing on his lips. "Looks like you've got some serious competition."

Seungmin sighed, his fingers raking through his hair, “I’m not losing the top spot to her.” The weight of the news settled on his shoulders, and for the first time in a while, doubt clouded his thoughts.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

You sat in your usual spot in the college classroom, notebook open and pen in hand, eager to delve into the lecture material. It had been a while since you'd been on campus, having just returned from studying abroad. The excitement of being back in familiar surroundings filled you, and you couldn't wait to catch up on everything you had missed.

You knew that Seungmin would have taken your spot as the reigning top student, and he brooded in his seat nearby with his gaze fixed on you with a mixture of irritation and resentment. As the professor began the lecture, Seungmin's mind wasn't on the lesson. Instead, he found himself consumed by the presence of his academic rival— you.

His jaw clenched, Seungmin couldn't shake the nagging feeling that his comfortable reign as the top student was in jeopardy. Your return brought an unexpected challenge, a threat to the academic hierarchy he had carefully maintained.

Throughout the lecture, his eyes occasionally flicked toward you, analyzing your every move as if trying to uncover some weakness. Your attentive posture, the studious way you took notes, only fueled his frustration. Seungmin had grown accustomed to being unchallenged, and your return disrupted the equilibrium he had established.

The professor's words became background noise as Seungmin's thoughts spiraled into a storm of competitiveness. He resented the fact that you, seemingly unaware of the turmoil you caused, were a formidable contender for the top spot. His silent anger was palpable, radiating an intensity that bordered on hostility.

As the class progressed, Seungmin's determination solidified. The challenge you posed only fueled his desire to outshine you. The internal war between the two top students had begun, a silent battle that played out in the hallowed halls of academia.

You weren’t oblivious to the storm of rivalry, but you continued to focus on the lecture out of pure spite. Every achievement, every answer you got right, only stoked the flames of Seungmin's determination and GOD did you know it. The unspoken competition had begun, and in the confined space of the classroom, the struggle for academic supremacy unfolded silently, each note you took and each question you answered becoming a strategic move in a battle that only one could win.

The professor's gaze swept across the room, and then, unexpectedly, it landed on you. "Y/N," the professor said, a slight smile, "can you help us with the definition of quantum entanglement?"

Seungmin's eyes narrowed as he watched you, waiting for any sign of faltering. The room seemed to hold its breath for a moment as all eyes turned to you.

You, however, met the professor's question as you gently placed your pencil down, "Quantum entanglement is where two or more particles become connected to the point that the state of one particle instantaneously influences the state of the other, regardless of the distance between them.”

As you finished your response, the professor nodded approvingly. "Excellent, Y/N. It seems like your time abroad has only enhanced your understanding. Welcome back."

The ripple of nods and agreements from your classmates served as a testament to your impressive display of knowledge. Seungmin, however, sat rigid in his seat, his jaw clenched even tighter. The unspoken challenge between you two had just escalated, and your correct answer had only intensified the frustration simmering within him.

He quickly turned to Jeongin, who was seated beside him with his eyes blinking slowly, “Why is she here?! She said she would be abroad-- why isn’t she?!”

Jeongin lifted his head from his chin, not even opening his eyes, “Are you sure you aren’t going to open day?”

Seungmin’s face contorted as he harshly whispers at Jeongin, “I said I’m not going! Do you seriously think I have the time?!”

Jeongin pulls his phone out, propping up a book to hide his phone from the professor as he tilts the screen to Seungmin to see. “The old group is getting together, see look--”

Seungmin sighs as he sees the screen, everyone confirming their attendance to the bar that evening and Seungmin looks to Jeongin before speaking, “fine.”

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

“To the new semester!”

The air buzzed with anticipation as they raised their glasses in a toast, celebrating the beginning of a new semester. Jeongin, always the life of the party, suggested a round of shots to kick off the night. The clinking sound of glasses meeting echoed through the bar, a few of their friends sitting in a booth with them as they all laughed.

After swallowing the shot, their friend Chan looks at Seungmin, “By the way, Seungmin… didn’t you say you weren’t coming?”

Seungmin purses his lips in response and looks down at the glass in his hands, “The study session got canceled.”

Jeongin laughs, “You mean you canceled it,” correcting Seungmin.

Han perks up, a mouthful of food as he mumbles, “I begged Y/N to come join us for open night but it looks like they didn’t make it.”

Seungmin rolled his eyes to himself in response, taking another drink while Felix laughed in response, “As if she’d even come anyway--”

Chan, the oldest of the friend group and in his final year, glanced around the table with his brows knitted together, “Why, what’s she like?”

Han finishes his bite of food before leaning on his elbows, “Y/N is the type of student that entered at the top of the class and kept maintaining that top spot and Seungmin…” Han says, clapping a hand on Seungmin’s shoulder, “Has been second best all along.”

Seungmin grit his teeth as he smack’s Han’s hand from his shoulder, “Why do you have to say it like that? God Han--”

“If you have a problem with it, then just be the best--” Felix says warmly, “We know you can do it.”

Chan nods as he sets his drink down, agreeing with Felix, “He’s right, you can do it.”

Seungmin grumbled as he reached for a few fries from Jeongin’s plate, “I know I can do it, I don't need to be told that.”

Jeongin rolls his eyes, “Seungmin has the drive, but it’s easier said than done.”

“I said I can do it,” Seungmin repeated, shoving the fries in his mouth.

Han laughed, nudging him playfully, the alcohol making his cheeks pink, “You literally spent your summer break studying in solitude and still lost to her at the start of this year.”

“Bet I won’t?” Seungmin said confidently, his eyes widening as he turned his whole upper body to face Han.

“Bet! And if you lose, then you have to wear a ‘Forever Second Best’ shirt and you have to sing karaoke in front of Dancer Hall!” Han says excitedly, Jeongin laughing in agreement as Seungmin’s jaw drops.

“Why in God’s name would I ever agree to that?!” Seungmin shouts with furrowed brows.

Chan laughs slightly, “I mean, if you’re so sure that you’ll make the top student position then what’s the issue?”

Jeers of ‘Are you scared?’ and ‘Come on Min!’ erupted from the table and Seungmin leaned back onto his chair exasperated.

“Fine!” Seungmin shouted, “But the only one embarrassed will be you guys for not believing I’ll make the top spot in our class. And when JYP himself comes to sign me after hearing me sing.”

As the clock ticked away, and the night at the bar drew to a close, the group of boys exchanged jeers, jokes, and laughter. The celebration had been a perfect prelude to the new semester—a blend of relaxation, camaraderie, and the promise of Seungmin to out do your scores this year. And he was determined to take your place.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

Seungmin plops onto the couch, kicking his shoes off as he and Jeongin finally make it back to their dorm from open night.

“How can I make Y/N ruin her own grades?” Seungmin blurts out, his hands over his eyes.

“I didn’t know you were so conniving, Min,” Jeongin says, hanging his keys up on the wall.

Seungmin groaned as he sat up quickly and looked at his roommate, “She works two jobs and still gets straight A’s,” Seungmin sighed, frustration evident in his voice, "I just want to be the top student again. It's been bothering me ever since Y/N came back."

Jeongin crossed his arms, considering the situation. "There has to be a better way, Seungmin. Maybe focus on improving your own grades instead of trying to bring someone else down."

Seungmin, seemingly unsatisfied with that advice, continued to mull over his options. "There has to be something more... strategic. Something that doesn't involve sabotaging but still guarantees my success."

Jeongin raised an eyebrow, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Well, there is a saying that 'all is fair in love and war.' What if you, I don't know--” Jeongin playfully waved his hands around in fake thought, “--pretended to be madly in love with her? It might throw Y/N off balance, make her lose focus on academics."

Seungmin's eyes widened at the unexpected suggestion. "What? Are you serious?"

Jeongin chuckled. "Think about it. If she's busy trying to figure out why you suddenly have a crush on her, she might not be as focused on her studies. It's called a ‘Love Bomb.’ It's harmless, and who knows, you might even hate her less because you’ll be around her more.”

Seungmin stares at Jeongin blankly, rubbing his temples, a headache building at the absurdity of the suggestion. "Jeongin, this is borderline insane. I can't manipulate someone's feelings like that. Besides, what if it backfires? What if she sees through it?"

Jeongin leaned forward, his expression serious. "Look, I get it's a bit unconventional, but desperate times call for desperate measures, right? And think about it, Seungmin. This way, you're not directly sabotaging her grades. It's just a harmless distraction."

Seungmin sighed, torn between the desire to reclaim the top spot and the ethical dilemma presented by Jeongin's proposal. "I can't believe I'm even considering this. It feels wrong, like I'm playing with people's emotions."

Jeongin placed a hand on Seungmin's shoulder, attempting to reassure him. "It's just a suggestion, man. If you're not comfortable with it, we can figure something else out. The point is, you need to be strategic this semester if you want to come out on top."

Is it really that crazy? he pondered, silently weighing the potential benefits. Jeongin's proposition, though unorthodox, had a certain strategic appeal. If he managed to pull off this act convincingly, it could disrupt your focus without resorting to direct confrontation or sabotage. The more he thought about it, the more Seungmin could see the potential advantages.

Mystery and Distraction: Jeongin was right about one thing – Seungmin had always been a closed book when it came to his personal life. If he played his cards right, he could add an air of mystery, making you curious and potentially distracted. After all, a bit of intrigue could keep your mind from the books.

Unexpected Alliances: In the intricate dance of academic competition, alliances and friendships formed unexpectedly. If Seungmin and you were forced into a situation where you had to spend more time together, there was a chance he might discover common ground or even be able to have study time together, which-- was good regardless if Seungmin hated the idea of you being smarter than he was. Jeongin's crazy plan might inadvertently lead to a more cooperative dynamic.

Emotional Leverage: If Seungmin could successfully portray a façade of romantic interest, it might give him a unique form of emotional leverage. People tended to be more vulnerable when emotions were involved, and if he played his cards right, he could use this vulnerability to his advantage in the academic arena.

Seungmin stood from the couch abruptly and then made his way back to his room, leaving Jeongin on the couch. This was the way to go about things, it was still a gamble, but it was a gamble that Seungmin couldn’t afford to pass up… and he wasn’t going to lose.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

You let out a yawn, covering your mouth with your fingertips as you made your way across your apartment. Your backpack was slung over your shoulder as you slipped your headphones over your ears for the brisk walk to your early class that morning. It was no different than any other day---

Turning the key to lock your door, you noticed a small envelope pinned to it. A hint of curiosity mingled with your preoccupied thoughts as you picked it up. The envelope was simple, no return address, just your name elegantly written across the front. Tearing it open, you found a neatly folded note inside.

You look back and forth down the hallway, searching for anyone who might be nearby and could have left it but all you saw was an empty hallway. You nervously take a breath and hold it as you crouch down to look closer at the note that was left.

“Y/N, hopefully this will help you perk up a little for your presentation today. I’m rooting for you! -- anon”

Beneath the note lay a small assortment of candies, carefully arranged and wrapped with a ribbon. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, your mind racing to comprehend the unexpected gesture. The note offered encouragement, but the mystery behind the secret admirer left a knot of uncertainty in your stomach.

There was a small heart at the bottom corner after the writing, you looked around one more time as you shifted your weight but there was no one to be seen. ‘Who the fuck…?’ You thought, quickly throwing the note back into your apartment before closing the door and locking it tight.

Having an admirer was cute and all, but for someone to leave it on your doorstep was another. Hopefully it was someone you were friends with pulling a stupid prank but you haven’t mentioned anything about your presentation to them that you could remember.

Jesus christ you’re going to end up dead before graduation. Great.

#seungmin #seungmin skz #seungmin stray kids #kim seungmin #seungmin x reader #Seungmin fanfic #seungmin fic #enemies to lovers #academic rivals #stray kids fic #stray kids fanfiction #stray kids x reader #non idol au #skz fanfic #skz fanfiction #skz x reader #roommate jeongin

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five-bi-five-mind · 2 years

Note

Love! Could we get a jj x reader enemies to lovers fic😍

Pushing It

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Pairing: JJ x fem!reader

Words: 5.2k+

Genre: Fluff

Summary: JJ isn't the best at expressing how she feels and you're too competitive to notice there's something more to her actions.

Warnings: brief alcohol mentions, jealous and overprotective JJ.

A/N: I don't honestly know if this counts as enemies to lovers but I hope it does! Sorry for your wait, anon <3

(gif not mine)

It was the dead of night when you finally arrived back at your hotel room. The stillness of the air mixed with the silence of the car ride back had you on edge and it really didn’t help that your current company had spent the entire car ride stewing in rage as she drove you both. JJ was absolutely fuming and you were the cause of it. Well, at least she blamed you for it. If anyone asked you, you’d disagree and say she was overreacting, like she usually did with you.

It had only been a year since you started at the BAU as the new communications liaison and you were still learning. The whole team seemed to love you though and helped you every step of the way. The whole team, except one that is. One Jennifer Jareau to be exact. She was nice to you for maybe the first month or two, but then things started to change. She would be short with you, antagonize you, challenge you. Somehow, it always felt like you were doing something wrong.

You knew she had your job before she became a profiler, so at first you assumed she just felt a little reluctant to give up her old position. Maybe she felt some weird pride in how she did the job and was so set in her ways that she had a particular idea of how it should be done. So, however harsh she may have been, you would take her notes. But then, you started going out more with the team and any time she would be there she would be short with you and just as harsh. That made you quickly realize, it wasn’t the job you were doing that she hated, it was you.

After a few months you asked a few people on the team to help get you in shape in case you were put in a few dangerous situations. You had heard stories about how JJ had been in her old position, you knew that even if your main job wasn’t to be in the field, there would be scary moments. Even Penelope Garcia had been in a few, and she was the tech person who mainly stayed at the BAU. So, when you started training you were grateful for Morgan and Prentiss to help you out. You’d go on morning jogs with Morgan, Prentiss would help you learn self defense, and even Hotch would help you with your aim so you could get signed off to carry a gun in the field if need be. You promised that part wasn’t necessary, but Hotchner insisted on it just in case.

Months had passed after you started learning from all of the team, and training was going well. Your stamina was building from the morning jogs, your self defense skills were better, albeit you weren’t as fast, coordinated, or strong as the rest of the team, and your aim was improving. You couldn’t help, but feel a sense of pride with each passing day, but then she started joining in. It started with your morning jogs. Morgan’s excuse was that JJ asked and he insisted the more the merrier. Then it went to your self defense practice with Emily. Her excuse was that you could learn more from both of them together than just one alone. And finally, she joined you with Hotch. This time, JJ gave the excuse, saying she could use the extra practice herself. For some reason, you didn’t totally buy that.

With each session with your three fellow coworkers, suddenly, all that newfound pride went down the drain. She picked apart your every move. You couldn’t match her speed when you were supposed to be doing a light jog, you couldn’t outsmart her when practicing self defense, and your aim was just a little too off for her liking. JJ made sure to make a comment or two every single time she watched you. What seemed to irk you even more was that no one else around you noticed. She tended to have the perfect timing to criticize you when everyone else wasn’t paying attention. For a brief moment, you thought about giving up. Saying no thank you to any more training, but then you decided that meant she won. What was the competition? You didn’t seem to know, but you had a feeling you were secretly in one with her. Why else would she challenge you so much? So you didn’t give up, you made it a personal goal to prove to her that you could succeed. You’d improve your endurance, your strength, your reflexes as much as you possibly could until she had nothing left to complain about.

Unfortunately, you set that goal over four months ago. Instead of shutting her up, it seemed like she had even more to judge you for.

Fast forward to present day and you and the team had a nasty case to deal with. A small town, horrific murders, a handful of crime scenes. One thing you knew about small towns is that word traveled fast, so getting a handle on media coverage was crucial. You were in the public eye frequently, you talked to countless people, and all eyes seemed to be on you. Since that was the case, and it seemed this unsub had no problems retaliating against law enforcement when they got too close, Hotch insisted on an extra set of eyes on you. Sure, you’ve been trying to improve to be a more capable member of the team, but it’s not like you went through the training or had the field experience that all of them did, so it made sense that they worried for you. However, much to your surprise, that extra protection came in the form of none other than Jennifer Jareau.

To your surprise, when it came to protection over you she went all out. She refused to leave your side, even for a moment. That meant you spent every waking moment with her. The breaks you took from the case, the meals you had, hell she even insisted on sharing a hotel room “just in case.” You argued back and forth with her for a good hour about how a hotel room next to each other would be good enough, but there was really no arguing with her. That woman was the most stubborn person you’ve ever met. It was infuriating, but you found a small positive in having her looming over you. She was easy to piss off, and you made it a game to push her buttons.

What you didn’t expect was to thoroughly piss her off one night during the case. If you thought she was difficult to deal with when she was mildly annoyed by you, it was nothing compared to her being visibly angered by you.

The evening started out fine. The case had gone on a few days and it seemed the team was no closer to the unsub than the day you all arrived. What you all needed was to get to know the locals, get out into the community, ask around. So, you all had your tasks. You and JJ were to go to the local bar, your job was to ask around, get information, and gauge what the locals were saying about the case. However, you realized quickly not many of them wanted to budge. Not many were sharing information willingly.

After being shot down by a group of people, you returned to the bar for a break. Huffing in frustration as you sat, sipping on water (because after all you still had a job to do). JJ was on the other side of the bar, still trying to talk up a few people for information. If there was one thing about JJ that you admired, it was her determination. You were feeling like giving up on this task three failed attempts of conversation ago. Yet, there she was continuing on. If you were being honest, there was more than just one thing you admired about her. As harsh and frustrating as she could be, she was also driven and passionate. She went into everything giving 100%, no matter how small the challenge was. The way she worked, showing compassion for those she worked with, yet staying strong at the most horrifying or tragic things the team faced. You could barely keep yourself together in front of the team with some of the stuff you saw, but when you looked at JJ all you saw was unrelenting strength and bravery. Sure, she was mean to you and you were pretty sure she hated your guts, but that didn’t stop you from respecting her as a coworker and member of the team.

“Can I buy you a drink?”

The voice came from beside you, startling you out of your deep thought.

“Huh?” was all you could think to say, your brain not quite registering what was asked. You looked over to who was speaking to you, only to see a man who you had yet to talk to had placed himself right next to you. A little too close for comfort if you were being honest. There was a reason you hadn’t reached him yet too. In fact, you had hoped JJ would take care of talking to him. He had been eying you since you walked in and it didn’t take a profiler to know what he wanted from you. Unfortunately for him, you weren’t interested. But unfortunately for you, he didn’t seem to take the hint.

“Do you want a drink?” He repeated, waving over the bartender before you could even respond.

“Oh, no I’m good.”

“Come on,” he scooted closer and you visibly shrank down. “Let me buy you one.”

You were torn. On one hand you were here for a job and he was someone who was willing to come talk to you when no one else wanted you there. On the other hand, you can’t drink while working, he didn’t seem the type to let you just pretend to sip on it, and quite frankly if you did get a drink, you wouldn’t take your eyes off it or him for a second. But you also knew that on the other side of the bar JJ was way more successful talking to the locals and you felt a spark of competitiveness when you watched her effortlessly converse with the other patrons. If this man was willing to actually come to you, should you really pass up this opportunity? You watched the profilers play people like a fiddle on a regular basis for work, maybe you picked up a thing or two for this very moment.

“What do you say?” He pressed on. His hand clasping down on your shoulder.

If you felt uncomfortable before, his touch made your whole body freeze. Maybe this imaginary competition with JJ isn’t exactly worth it.

“I-“

“She’s good.” JJ interrupted you the second you opened your mouth. She came out of nowhere. You didn’t even know she was paying attention to you this whole time. Turns out she had been completely aware of you and how you were failing miserably the entire evening. She may not have been next to you, but she listened for your voice across the room, whenever you moved she would note it in the corner of her eye. So when she realized the man she clocked as inappropriately staring you down had found the guts to come approach you, she was ready to pounce.

And pounce she did. But not on him, no of course not. Her anger was turned towards you.

“Let’s go,” JJ didn’t wait for you to respond, brushing off the man’s hand on your shoulder herself before replacing it with hers. Only her grip was more firm, her fists closing around the material of your shirt as she practically hoisted you off the bar stool and dragged you towards the door.

“What about talking to the locals?” You questioned, stumbling over your feet to keep up with JJ.

“I got what we needed,” she said through gritted teeth, eyes never meeting yours as she dragged you all the way back to the car. “Get in. Now.”

Too stunned to even argue, you did exactly as she said. Your body felt like it was on autopilot, still too shocked about her behavior and reaction to even realize what you were doing when you felt yourself clip your seatbelt on.

Whether it was a blessing or a relief that the car ride was silent, you weren’t sure. JJ drove with her hands in fists on the wheel, gripping it so tight her knuckles were white. She was furious and it honestly had you a little curious as to what set her off so bad. So while the car ride was incredibly uncomfortable, at least she wasn’t screaming at you. That came the moment you both closed the door to your shared hotel room.

“It’s bad enough that I’m stuck here babysitting you,” JJ finally broke her silent fuming. “But do you really have to make it so fucking hard?”

“I don’t even know what you’re talking about!” You really didn’t. It wasn’t like you said yes to the man, you weren’t actually going to drink on the job. Is that what made her so angry?

You stomped further into your shared hotel room. Her tone and behavior already had you absolutely heated. It wasn’t like you asked for her specifically to be the extra security glued to your hip. In fact, you had hoped it would be Morgan or Emily, that way you’d at least have a friend by your side. But no. Instead, you got Jennifer Jareau, the one woman in the entirety of the BAU who absolutely despises you.

“What if he was the unsub?” JJ stalked after you. “You put yourself in danger!”

“Oh please!” you scoffed. “I may not be a profiler like you, but I have some sense of my surroundings when we’re on the job.” You spun around to face JJ and if looks could kill, hers would stop you dead in your tracks. Trying not to show defeat, you squared your shoulders and planted your feet. There was no way you were going to back down to her and let her make you feel wreckless and stupid. You weren’t. You were good at your job and only improving, who was she to make you feel less than that?

“Then did you notice he was following your every move since you got into the bar?”

“Yes.” You rolled your eyes. Of course, you noticed him staring. He wasn’t the first creepy man to try to pick you up from a dive bar.

“And you still let him get right up next to you?”

You just shrugged. If you were being honest, by the time he approached you, you had lost focus on him. But you weren’t going to admit that to the blonde currently staring you down.

“How can you just be so careless?!” JJ threw her hands up in frustration. “Just because he’s not the unsub doesn’t mean he doesn’t have bad intentions and you let him waltz right up to you. He was all over you, (Y/N)!” Okay, you were about to reach your threshold for JJ’s bullshit for the night. Yes, you had lost a little focus, but you weren’t in any danger. This was just one random man trying to pick you up at a bar. Of course, you were going to say no. JJ just didn’t give you the opportunity to even do it.

You decide you don’t want to listen to any more of this. Pushing past JJ and making sure to bump your shoulder with hers when she refuses to move, you make it to the hotel room door. Before you could even turn the knob though, you feel a hand wrapped around your wrist, stopping you in your tracks.

“Where are you going?” JJ pressed on.

“I need some air.” You tried to wrench your wrist away, but she just held it tighter. “Don’t worry, I’ll get Prentiss or Morgan to join me. I’ll talk to them, see if they can take over babysitting.” You practically hissed the last word, frustration getting the best of you finally. It was about time you were done being civil with the blonde. You had no idea what her problem was with you and you were starting to not even care. “That’s what you want, right?”

“What are you talking about? I asked to be here.” That stopped you.

“What?” You spun around so fast on JJ that if she didn’t still have such a tight hold on you, you would’ve fallen right into her. “You asked? Asked what exactly?”

“This case is serious, (Y/N). I arranged for you to have the extra security.”

“So wait wait wait,” Your brain was moving a mile a minute. What the fuck was she playing at? You couldn’t tell for the life of you. Why would she volunteer to be stuck to you when she hates every move you make? Why did she complain about it being a babysitting job, if she knew what she was getting into? You couldn’t wrap your head around this and the shift in conversation was giving you whiplash. “Not only did you ask to be my extra security… but you also were the one to suggest it in the first place?” JJ just gave you an exhausted look and nodded her head as if you should’ve expected this kind of behavior from her. But the whole idea of this went against everything you knew about her so far. This felt completely out of character.

“Why?” was all you could think to ask. Confirming the string of events had not helped you understand her actions in the slightest.

“I just told you.” JJ’s grip loosened on your wrist, but her hand still remained there.

“No, but why would you even want to be the one to do it? You said so yourself, it’s a babysitting job.”

“Well, it wouldn’t feel like babysitting if I didn’t have to worry about you wandering off all the fucking time!” Ah, there’s the attitude again. JJ’s grip around your wrist tightened yet again and her tone was just as condescending as ever. You really couldn’t follow her right now. She wanted to protect you, but she also hated you? Dots weren’t connecting here.

“Why are you always like this?” You finally cracked. It dawned on you that the only way to figure out what the fuck this woman was talking about was to put all your card out on the table and hoped she would follow suit.

“Like what?” JJ fired back.

“Treating me like I’m incapable! I was chosen to be here for a reason. I earned this job and beat out dozens of other applicants. Yet, you seem to think I can’t even do my job.” You ripped your arm away, finally breaking her grip. Whether you did that out of your own strength or she just let you, you weren’t quite sure. “You say you chose to be stuck with me for this case, but you obviously can’t stand to be next to me. Morgan or Prentiss would’ve done just as good of a job and you know it. So why didn’t you suggest them? I don’t know what your problem is with me or why you hate me, but I-”

“I don’t hate you.” She cut you off, her expression going from anger to shock in two seconds flat. Her tone had you confused. It was like a switch was flipped and suddenly JJ didn’t seem angry with you. She actually seemed just as confused as you were. “Why do you think I hate you?”

“JJ, why wouldn’t I think that?” Your defensive stance slowly dropped as you stood in front of her. No longer feeling like you wanted to win the argument. In fact, you already felt defeated. “I’m always doing something wrong in your eyes. You have something to say about everything I do. Everyone describes this version of you that’s fun and kind, but the minute I enter a room I see you physically close off. Whenever I’m doing anything related to the job you always complain. I get that you don’t like me, but I just wish I knew what I did.”

JJ just stood there for a second. Her eyes went from shock, to frustration, to understanding and then… Possibly pity? You weren’t entirely sure. What you did notice was that she finally stopped looking at you with anger or annoyance. This was a new look for her, but that didn’t make you any less uneasy.

“I wasn’t complaining,” JJ sighed. “And I don’t dislike you.”

You just stood there with your eyebrow quirked. If she didn’t dislike you, she could’ve really fooled you. You saw firsthand that she wasn’t like this with the others on the team.

“You’ve got it all wrong,” JJ’s voice was soft this time, almost hesitant.

“Then explain it to me.”

“I’m pushing you,” JJ corrected. “Because I know you can do better and because this job is dangerous, even when you’re a communications liaison for the team. When I was in your position, I was unprepared, untrained and I got into some sticky situations. It’s a miracle that I’m standing here today. I didn’t want you to have that risk. I couldn’t stand it if…” She paused for a second. You watched as her jaw clenched and unclenched. It was obvious she was struggling with some kind of internal debate, trying to find the right words to share with you. What amazed you was the lack of anger toward you. For once, you were seeing a softer side of JJ and all it took was you admitting that you thought she hated your guts.

“I can’t let you get hurt,” JJ finally said. “I push you to try hard so if I’m not there, you’d still be safe. I asked to keep an eye on you, because I thought you were being put in danger in this case. I want to be close to you, because…” She took a deep breath. “Because I don’t dislike you. It’s the opposite.”

The opposite? What does that even- OH. Oh.

“Oh.” Was all you could manage to say. Did she mean what you thought she meant? It couldn’t possibly be that she had feelings for you, right? You had to be reading into that. A moment ago you thought she couldn’t stand even sharing the same air as you, and now you’re thinking she has thing for you? No, you’re losing it. That or she’s fucking with you. But as you stare back at her, in all your confusion, you can at least recognize that she’s being completely honest. Even throughout all of your bad experiences with her, you still got to know her a little bit. JJ was serious, honest, and straightforward. So it would’ve been incredibly uncharacteristic of her to be playing mind games with you right now.

“I just never thought you felt like that?” You phrased it as a question. Still not sure how to fully understand this weird turn of events. Surely, you’re wrong. You went from two extremes: Her absolutely hating you to her having romantic feelings for you. Could you really have misread everything this whole time? If that’s the case, then you really were horrible at noticing your surroundings. “I really thought you hated me.”

“Yeah, well…” JJ sighed. “I’m not the best at expressing my feelings.”

The two of you just stared at each other for a moment, you still in disbelief and JJ looking almost guilty now. There was no sign of her being anything but genuine. Yet, you still just couldn’t believe it completely.

“Are you messing with me?” You heard yourself say it before you could even really stop it.

“What? No, of course not.” JJ almost looked hurt when you asked that and you almost felt bad about it. Almost, but then you still couldn’t shake the stress and aggravation she put you through the past year. “Look, office romances can be messy and I didn’t want to get tangled up in that, so I tried to keep my distance. But then you started spending time after work with Morgan, Hotchner, and Prentiss and told myself I was joining them to help, to protect you. That was half true. I was really just jealous.”

Wow. Okay, you really didn’t see that coming. So everything back at the bar, it wasn’t even about you being bad at your job. It was about her being jealous that some guy was trying to pick you up. That really wasn’t on your list of theories for what had JJ so pissed off. Things were slowly starting to click now, though. Her insistence to always be where you were going to be was actually planned. You really had thought all those times, it was just the universe playing a cruel joke and putting you two together when she seemed to want to be as far away from you as possible. You had also always wondered why JJ asked to be invited to your training sessions, especially if she specifically knew you’d be there and clearly didn’t need the extra practice herself, even if that was her own excuse. Now, you knew it was both to protect you and be closer to you. Never in a million years would you have thought she felt protective of you and jealous of your attention on someone else. But here you were, staring at a new version of JJ you’ve never seen before. One that’s vulnerable and insecure. One that just admitted that all her actions had been out of jealousy and her overprotectiveness towards you. Fuck… did you think that was kind of cute?

“You were jealous…” You mumbled to yourself. “And everything at the bar was also jealousy?”

“You could’ve been in danger!” JJ groaned in frustration. You only half bought it. Tapping your foot, you waited for JJ to give you the honest answer you knew would come next. “Okay, a little.” There it was.

You both stood there for a moment in silence. All of her confessions still weighing heavily on both of you and the room still feeling incredibly too tense. Suddenly, everything you knew about JJ was completely wrong. Every moment with her got rewritten. You thought back to so many instances that you just totally misread. If you weren’t so intimidated by JJ maybe you could’ve seen this earlier. You wondered if anyone else knew how she felt. They were all profilers, so surely they knew. Hell, the more you thought back to certain moments with JJ the more you wondered how you didn’t know until now.

“Listen,” JJ broke the silence finally. “I didn’t realize that you thought I hated you. If this all makes you uncomfortable then I can ask Prentiss to-”

“No!” You blurted. “I mean, no. It’s okay, I just should’ve talked to you sooner. I want you to stay.”

“Are you sure? I completely understand if not.” JJ began to fish for her phone in her pocket. “I can just call Emily for-”

Without much thought and to the surprise of both of you, it was you who snatched her wrist this time. Only, you didn’t exactly stop there. Suddenly, you found yourself propelling forward, your lips meeting JJ. What were you even doing? You really couldn’t say. All you knew was that you had been utterly oblivious to everything going on around you and the person you found incredibly attractive and incredibly infuriating was trying to tell you this whole time that she had feelings for you. So what did you do to stop her from fleeing the scene of the mess she put you in? You kissed her. You really kissed her. Your hand had a mind of its own, snaking its way to tangle in her hair.

It took JJ all of one second to realize what was happening. That your lips were smashed against hers in a hasty attempt to get her to shut up. And when she did realize you were kissing her. That you were actually the one to initiate it, she was on cloud nine. The hand that wasn’t locked in your iron grip had reached for your waist, her lips moved with yours in excitement. When you felt her use her hold on your waist to pull you forward and press you fully against her, you couldn’t stop the gasp you let out against her lips.

But that’s also what snapped you out of your impulsive actions.

“Oh fuck!” You jumped back, your hand releasing her wrist to fly to your mouth. Fuck, you actually just kissed Jennifer Jareau. “I’m so sorry.” Your brain wasn’t able to process this whole day. All you could think to do was apologize.

“Hey, I’m not complaining,” JJ gave you a smug grin, her hand tightening on your waist. You didn’t have much of a comeback to that. Turns out, you didn’t even need one as JJ had immediately leaned back in to kiss you again. This time it wasn’t awkward or rushed, it was slow and gentle. It had you melting in the arms of the woman, who moments ago you believed to be your worst enemy. But the way she was kissing you had your heart pounding and your cheeks flushed. Her lips tasted divine and when her other hand came up to cup your chin so she could hold your face closer as she kissed you, you lost yourself even more to the feeling of her.

As surprised as you were to admit it, when she broke the kiss again you didn’t want it to end. For a year, you wanted to be as far away from her as possible, but right now you never wanted her to let you go. Did you always have these feelings for her? Maybe. Maybe that’s why you pushed yourself to step up to the challenges she presented. Maybe you wanted to impress her, to give her reasons to praise you or at least to notice you. Maybe you both were pining for each other, but both of you were far too stubborn to ever admit it.

“What now?” You mumbled as JJ pressed her forehead to yours. Showing you a gentleness you’ve never seen with her.

“Hm…” JJ leaned forward one more time, brushing her lips against yours before pulling back just slightly. “We could finally take Garcia’s advice?”

“Which is?”

“We could finally stop arguing and just go out on a date?” JJ chuckled. “I had to sensor that a little.”

“Oh, I bet.” You grinned and took JJ’s hands in yours. “Okay, take me out on a date then.”

One could say the date went well, and what followed after was even better. When this case started and you were told you’d be stuck with JJ, you expected the worst. You imagined how you’d be tearing each other down the whole time, but what you didn’t, in your wildest dreams, ever expect was to be tearing off each other's clothes. What you thought was a surprise for everyone, was really just about damn time.

Taglist: @leecravesdeath @daddy-jareau @louderfortheback

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beefrobeefcal · 9 months

Text

Chubby!Frankie fic

Send in your thoughts, ask box is always open!

The Catfish & The Mouse: Part 3

Pairing: Frankie Morales x Fem!Reader

Summary: The trials and tribulations of a pregnant Mouse... and Frankie, too!

Rating: Explicit 18+ (MDNI)

Word Count: 7,089

Content Warning: Smutty smutty smut smut, oral (f receiving), fingering, pregnancy sex, p in the v - unwrapped cos she preggo (don't be silly, cover you willy, kids!), talk of eating, belly praise, self esteem, weight gain

Author's Notes: IT'S HERE! And now you have to wait for Part 4! *maniacal laugh* Thanks be to @theywhowriteandknowthings for their eyes & sound judgement in proofing. And also to @harryleatherfit for being an awesome cheerleader.

The THOT TANK is always open for y'all to make a deposit - I'll never not love writing Frankie + Mouse 💜

--------<3---------

As soon as you showed Frankie the positive pregnancy test, he wanted to scream from the rooftops that he was gonna be a dad. He was downright elated and ready to tell everyone, but respected your request to wait until it was officially confirmed by your doctor.

You booked your appointment for an afternoon later that week and both of you took the day off work.

Even though you could have slept in, you found yourself wide awake with excitement. You rolled over and snuggled into Frankie’s side causing his gentle snoring to subside. He moved his arm, allowing you to snuggle in closer.

“Morning, mama.”, he croaked.

“Morning, daddy.”, you crooned back, nuzzling your face in him.

You laid there quietly for a moment, only the sounds of your steady breaths breaking the silence. Then Frankie rolled towards you, pushing you onto your back, his hand gently rubbing circles on your stomach.

“Gonna make sure there’s a baby in there today.”, he smiled, pressing a kiss to your neck.

You smiled back, letting out a happy sigh, and out your hand on top of his. “Yup. But I’m pretty sure there is.”

You could feel Frankie’s morning wood pressing up against your thigh and you knew where he was going with this morning cuddle session. As if on cue, Frankie began sliding his hand from your stomach into your sleep shorts while planting kisses along your neck and jaw.

“You look so good, mama… love you like this… wet and ready for me…”, he cooed, dipping his fingers into your folds.

You let out a few small moans, then gasped as he plunged a finger in. “Fuck… yeah… you’re so ready for me already, princess…”, he grunted, starting to push a second in.

You were whimpering his name along with other unintelligible words while he slowly pumped in and out of you and grinded his hard on against you, grunting. As you were just starting to feel that telltale coil begin to wind up, he removed his hands, and grunted at you, “Take of your shorts… can’t wait…”

Sleepy Frankie didn’t tease or shy away from anything when he wanted you; he was to the point.

You removed your shorts as he did his, stroking his cock a few times, then he crawled on top of you, situating himself between your legs. He lined up himself with your entrance and pushed in slowly, you let out a gasp and he whispered into your ear. “That’s it, mama… there you go... fuck, feel so good…”

He started out at a slow, gentle pace, with an arm around your shoulder and the other on your thigh, pulled up to his hip. Again, the only sounds being both your breathing. As much as you loved when Frankie railed you on the various surfaces of your house, this was your favourite. This was so much more intimate, and you knew in these moments that you had his heart and he had yours.

He kissed your neck and pushed himself up on his elbow so he could see your face, his other hand still on your thigh. You smiled at him and he back at you both breathing in time with each thrust. The look he gave you asked if you were ready for him, and you nodded. He pressed his forehead to yours and picked up the pace, and your breathing turned to little whimpers and cries. Frankie loved that sound. He smiled through closed eyes and gritted teeth as you continued his favourite music.

That coil was now wound up tight, waiting for its cue to push you over the edge. Frankie could feel it and pulled the hand from you hip, two fingers going to your clit and rubbing circles. You cried out, head flung back, and Frankie watched you plummet.

Your walls squeezed him, forcing his orgasm and he came a few beats after you.

Frankie stayed on top for a moment for you both to catch your breath, then kissed you.

“I fucking love you, Mouse.”

I fucking love you, too, Frankie.”

The pregnancy was confirmed that afternoon, and you felt your eyes get glassy while Frankie openly sobbed next to you as you looked at the tiny bean on the grainy ultrasound screen.

*****

You told Benny, Will and Hannah first. You’d arrived at Will and Hannah’s house for dinner, and before you even got your coat off or could be sick from the smell of caramelized onions, Frankie blurted it out at Hannah when she went to give you a welcoming hug.

“Hey Mouse!!", she said, pulling you into a hug, noticing your swallowing a little harder as the smell hit your nose.

“Careful, Hannah. She might spew on you… her nose has been super sensitive since got preg-”, Frankie stopped himself and looked at you wide eyed.

The whole room went silent, save for the sounds of food cooking in the kitchen, and Will stared at you with a look you couldn’t quite place.

You couldn’t handle the tension and looked at Will, then said in a sheepish voice, “Surprise!”

“You’re… you’re pregnant?!”, Benny yelled, excitedly and slapping his hand on Frankie’s back. “Way to go, Fish!”

Hannah squealed and pulled you into a hug, but you could only watch Will. His eyes looked a little sad and he’d yet to say anything.

Hannah let you go and went to hug Frankie, and Benny came bounding over to you, pulling you into a hug that, for Benny, would be considered gentle.

When he finally let you go, Will walked up to you and pulled you into a big hug. You felt his breathing change and shudder a bit.

“Awe, Mouse… this is amazing, sweetie…”, he says, his voice sounding quiet, like he was trying to hold himself together.

“Will, don’t start…”, you said, your lip trembling and your eyes watering.

He pulled back and grabbed your head, pushing a kiss to your forehead. He wiped his eyes and cleared his throat, looking at Frankie.

He stuck his hand out and when Frankie went to shake it, he pulled him into a hug.

You managed to get through the night without being sick, at least until you got home.

*****

The first trimester was rough. Morning sickness hit you like a ton of bricks and was not just relegated to morning. You managed to lose weight from being so ill, but the doctor was confident that it would pass once you got to the second trimester. You kept your fluids up, and Frankie took over making food to the best of his abilities.

One issue with him being in charge of the food was... well, Frankie overseeing the food. It wasn't that he was a bad cook, but he pretty well stuck to frozen meals and quick things that he enjoyed, and given that he was stressed about you, he overindulged most nights, and whatever you didn’t eat, he did. By the time you were midway through month four, Frankie was happily eating as though he were the pregnant one.

You finally started to feel like yourself again in month four, minus the fatigue, so he’s suggested a date night. You were getting ready in your ensuite, standing in a bralette and your panties in front of your mirror, applying your eyeliner.

“Hey mama...”, Frankie said huskily, his eyes trailing down your body; he stopped at your stomach. A little bit more there than before. He smiled, “Now look at that.”

“Hmm?”, you questioned, looking at him through the mirror.

His grin was wide, and he stood behind you, his hand going to your stomach. He splayed his big hand wide on it and kissed your neck and murmured, “I see a bump.”

You leaned back into him and smiled. The whole notion of you being pregnant made Frankie soft in the best way; he was warm and gentle, and so very hands on with you. You loved it, as long as your mood swings allowed it.

“You sure you wanna take me out on that date, daddy?”, you cooed, your eyes catching his in the mirror.

“Fuck, don’t tempt me, mama…”, growls as he kisses your neck.

You didn’t make it to the restaurant, let alone out of your bedroom.

****

Your baby bump had popped finally in month five, or around the 22-week mark. Despite you having had it checked, and checked again, there was only one baby in there, although the doctor did admit it looked like a big baby. While the rest of your smaller frame stayed the same size, your belly reminded everyone and their dog that you were pregnant. You had some insecurities about how your body was changing, especially when getting weighed at the doctors, but you tried to keep yourself in check.

Frankie had told you that his family had a history of big babies. His abuela had told the story about how for each one of her pregnancies, the midwife thought she would be having twins, but each time, there was just one baby. This story, while sweet, made you feel less than confident.

But Frankie loved it; he couldn’t keep his eyes or hands off your belly. Whether in the grocery store, cooking dinner, sleeping, watching TV, he had his eyes and hands on you, and while you loved him, your insecurities and mood swings sometimes reared their ugly heads at inopportune moments.

Like today. Today was a hard day. You hadn’t slept well, and work had been particularly grueling, leaving you filled with unbridled, hormonal rage at the smallest inconvenience. That on top of the already insecure feelings you had about your changing body. Even though you were supposed to gain weight to support a healthy pregnancy, every time you weighed yourself, your old body issues would come out and cause you to cringe at the escalating number; just as you had started to have a good relationship with your body, you ended up pregnant and had no idea it would affect you so much.

He could hear you swearing and cursing at the currently cooking dinner in the kitchen; the tell-tale signs of one of your tantrums beginning, and Frankie smiled.

“Fuck… what you do to me, princess…”, he groaned, walking into the kitchen and seeing you cook dinner while he palmed his crotch.

“Jesus, Francisco! I’m making you fucking dinner!”, you snapped, frustrated by the package of pasta not opening easily. “Do I look like I want you to try and fuck me?”

You were standing in the kitchen, wearing a shirt that was fitted before you were pregnant and a pair of leggings. You were flushed and sweaty, hair up in a messy bun, belly popping out from under the shirt, while standing in front of a pot of boiling water.

“No… but you look so fucking tempting…”, he groaned again, walking towards you slowly. He knew when you were temperamental like this, he could usually coax you into a better mood by sweet talking to you, or, better yet, making you come.

“Don’t you fucking dare…”, you growled at him, turning towards him, bag of pasta in your hands.

“Oof, princess… the mouth on you today…”, Frankie purred with a grin, getting closer slowly.

You scrunched your nose and scowled at him as he got closer. “Francisco Morales! I am warning you!”

“That’s my name, princess…”, he growled with a grin, licking his lips. He loved it when you got into one of your moods – the result being far more satisfying. “Come on, baby… let daddy make mama feel good.”

You gave him a furious glare as he stood in front of you and huffed at him. He grinned, reached his hand out and took the bag of pasta from your hands then gently pulled it open. He kept his eyes on you, still grinning, and placed the pasta bag on the counter and reached over to turn off the burner for the boiling pot.

“Come here, mama…”, he cooed, one large hand splaying on your belly and the other cupping the back of your neck, pulling him towards you. “Gonna help you relax…”

Your temper was getting the best of you, and you tried to push him back with a scowl on your face, but Frankie stayed firm and pulled you into him further.

“None of that, mama... I’m trying to make you feel better, baby... let me take care of you.”, he cooed as he placed kisses on your neck and jaw.

You huffed in resignation at the fact that it really did feel good to have him lavish this attention on you after the day you’d had. You could feel your muscles relax as his hands caressed your back and sides.

“There you go, mama... just relax and let me take care of you...”

The gentle touches and the soothing vibrations of his voice nicked your heart, and you went from feeling loved to feeling guilt. You despised who you became with these mood swings and how you treated your sweet, gentle Frankie. You could feel the lump in your throat and the tears stinging your eyes.

“Do you hate me yet?”, you questioned in a whisper, burying your face in his chest.

Frankie was taken aback, and while his hands stayed on your back, they stopped moving, now almost gripping you like he was trying to stop you from slipping away.

“What? Wh – Mouse! What?”, he retorted in a surprised and almost offended tone. He pulled you back to look at him, and you kept your head low.

“I… I just…” The words you so desperately wanted to say were lost, and you made the mistake of looking up and seeing Frankie’s eye boring back into yours. Hurt and pain and confusion screaming from them.

“Why would you ever ask me that?”, he demanded in a hurt voice.

“I-I’m just so… so bad at… at this.”, you cried quietly.

“At what? I don’t understand, honey. What are you bad at, baby?” He was begging you to let him in, his voice filled with fear. Fear of the words you didn’t know how to tell him: that you didn’t love him anymore; that you wanted to break up; that you thought he would be a lousy father like his dad.

When you didn’t respond, he begged again, eyes searching yours while his tears threatened to drop. “Please. Please, baby… talk to me, Mouse.”

You shook your head, trying to find the resolve to tell him what was breaking you, but all you could muster to say in a quiet and pathetic voice was, “I’m just so bad at... at being pregnant.”

Frankie let out a relieved breath he didn’t know he was holding and couldn’t help the small, sweet smile that slowly grew on his face. He pulled you into him again. His arms held you in a warm, safe hug while he murmured soft words of love and praise to you.

He let you go so he could see your face, your belly still snuggly up against him, holding your hands. “You’re not bad at being pregnant.”

One hand went your swollen middle and he rubbed tenderly with his thumb. “It’s gotta be hard on you and I know you’re struggling, princess. You’re growing a fucking human in you, and I can see this taking it’s toll on you. I want to help you in any way that I can, but you need to talk to me, baby. I can’t do what I am supposed to do, what I need to do and what I want to do for you if you don’t talk to me.”

You nodded with your eyes cast down and stayed quiet for a moment to collect your thoughts while Frankie looked at you, silently encouraging you to speak. When you did, it was between small sobs and sniffles.

“I just don’t feel good about… about me. I feel gross and fat, and this is the time I’m supposed to feel the best and I don’t… and I feel like I’m not… good enough. I feel like because I’m so out of control with my emotions, that I’m burdening you… And I feel… I feel sad. And guilty and angry… at myself for it. It’s like a horrible cycle I can’t break out of.”

Sensing Frankie desperately wanting to interject, you continued, “And I know our priority is that the baby is healthy. I get that and I agree, and I know it’s all about the baby. Baby is number one and I just need to get over it. I know it’s stupid to feel this way… but I just want to be… good.”

You finally looked up to meet Frankie’s eyes, and what you saw startled you. No judgement or anger. Just sadness.

His eyes were glassy, and he sniffled as he nodded. “No, Mouse. Please listen to me. You’re my priority. You are. Please tell me you know that. You’re going to make me a dad – I don’t take that gift lightly. Don’t you dare say you just need to get over it like it’s nothing. It’s not nothing and you’re not nothing. You’re mine and I love you so fucking much. The baby is your number one, but you.”, he reached up and held your face in his big hands, “You’re my number one and the reason I bust my ass each day at work. The reason I am here.”

All you could do was nod while tears streamed down both your faces.

“I can’t stress it enough how much you don’t deserve the grief you’re giving yourself, Mouse. I knew you weren’t feeling great, so I wanted to help you feel better, but baby… I didn’t know it was like this for you. Baby, I’m sorry.” He wiped his eyes and continued. “You’re not gross, you’re fucking stunning and beautiful and sexy and strong… and I’m sorry that I haven’t done more to help you see that.”

You shook your head and tried to tell him it wasn’t his fault, but he cut you off.

“I’ll move fucking mountains if it means you’re happy.” He took your hands in his and kissed your knuckles, then said quietly, “I have one fucking job: Dad is supposed to make sure that Mom is happy. That’s my job and it’s a hell of a lot easier than yours. But you gotta tell me what you need, mama.”

You sighed and gave a real smile for the first time in what felt like weeks, then nodded.

“One of the pregnancy books I read said that this can happen and that sometimes hormones can make mood swings and body issues worse and…“

“Wait - you read a pregnancy book?”, you interrupted, almost amused by the admission.

“Well, yeah. I did. I didn’t know what was going on or what I could do to help. A customer was in the shop, and she asked about you… she suggested this book and I picked it up that day after work and…”

Frankie noted your stunned expression and gave a small grin. “It’s in my locker at work… I read it at lunch.”

“Oh Frankie… I’m…”, your voice cracked at you tried to speak, feeling the emotions welling up and attempting to make you feel back about his efforts going unnoticed, but you pushed them down.

“You’re so insanely sweet. Thank you.”, you smiled.

You leaned in and gave him a kiss, saying again against his mouth, “Thank you.”

That was all it took for the dam to break, for you to open up and talk to Frankie about what was going on, he in turn shared what he was feeling. That evening, you both agreed that a daily check in when you got home from work was going to be the way you moved forward.

*****

By 26 weeks, your insecurities had not abandoned you as your belly grew, but you were far more open about how felt to Frankie and he was ever ready to offer support and praise and compliments. By this time, you were able to eat and sleep better, you felt better, and it helped that Frankie had slipped back into his old habits. He had started to fill out again, with his belly, again, bearing the brunt of it. You were more than pleased.

Your second trimester was filled with food, mainly consumed by Frankie, and fucking. Your body grew, like it was supposed to, and Frankie worshipped it.

But what really took over was your insatiable libido. Your body had become so sensitive and responsive to everything Frankie did; from a goodbye kiss in the morning or him accidentally grazing his leg against you in his sleep to him knowing how to quickly get you where he wanted so he could fuck you senseless. He almost felt in over his head with your need for him.

Early Sunday morning, your body woke you to pee. After going to the washroom and climbing back into bed, Frankie rolled over and in a sleepy haze, pulled you into a spoon with him. His hand on your belly and just the feeling of him up against you set fireworks off and your body felt like it would explode if Frankie didn’t do something to make that tension release.

“Frankie…”, you cooed, involuntarily rubbing your thighs together.

“Hmmm?”, Frankie hummed, barely awake.

“Frankie… please…”, you begged, voice dripping with need.

He knew that tone; when you said his name that way he knew what you needed. And as of late, you needed it a lot.

“Really? Seriously now?”, he groaned. Frankie wasn’t a morning person, especially on weekends. Morning sex with Frankie after 9 am was sweet and wonderful. Morning sex with Frankie at this god forsaken hour – 5:26 am to be exact – was probably going to be gruff, and a little clumsy, and oh so satisfyingly to the point.

You rolled over on your back, his hand remaining on your swollen middle. “Please Frankie… I need you. Now.”, you whined, knowing you were going to get your way.

“So bossy… so fucking needy, princess.”, he cooed with eyes stilled closed, his hand moving down your belly as you opened your legs. He slid down and cupped your heat, pressing a finger into your clothed folds. You gasped and bucked your hips.

“So sensitive… god fucking damnit.”, Frankie grunted as he moved to kneel next to you. You noted his hard on in his boxers as he pulled your panties off.

“Take your top off. You wake me up for this, I get to see your tits.”, he grunted with a grin, eyes barely open.

“Where do you want me, baby?”, you keened, feeling your body aching for anything he would give you.

He let out a shaky breath at your words, pulling his boxers down the pumping his hard cock. “On your hands and knees baby.”, he says, swatting at you to get moving. Your belly was more and more in the way of your standard position, and currently, riding him was not the most comfortable for you and your body issues.

Doing as he said, you maneuvered yourself and eagerly waited for him to just push into you. But instead, he ran two fingers through your dripping, puffy cunt, then plunging them in, forcing a high-pitched whine from you.

“Good girl… fuck… your so fucking needy… Jesus… you’re sucking my fingers in…”, he crooned as he pumped in and out of you.

You could feel your orgasm hurling itself to fruition then exploding with no warning. Crying out, Frankie kept the pace, his breath increasing as his own need skyrocketed.

“Oh fuck… you’re coming already?... fuck yeah, baby… yeah, princess… come on, mama…”, Frankie panted as he worked you through your orgasm.

Just as you started to come down though, he removed his fingers then lined his hard cock with your entrance and pushed in. You thought your arms and legs were going to give out under you as Frankie began to pound into you.

You cried out, begging in nonsensical words and phrases for him to keep going.

“Oh fuck… oh fuck… so fucking warm for me, mama… fuck you’re close again… oh shit… yeah… come on baby… I got you… come on… yeah…”, he mumbled in a sleepy timber.

You felt your walls start to flutter, and a sensation you hadn’t felt in a while began to burn white hot through your lower belly.

“Fra… Frankie… fuck… I-I’m gonna… “, you cried out.

Frankie pounded into you and felt a gush of liquid come out of you, soaking him, you and the bed underneath. If he wasn’t quite awake before, he was now. His drive kicked into high gear and his thrusts became more intense while he reached around you, moving his middle finger onto your clit, rubbing circles.

“Oh fuck! Fucking soaked me…. Can you do it again? Come on, mama… give me another one... you can do it…”, he howled as his hips continued to push you further.

You couldn’t even respond as you felt another tight coil threaten to break you apart; all you could go was cry out and pant over the vulgar squelching of Frankie fucking into you.

With a shriek, your cunt clenched down on him and your body convulsed as your third orgasm of the morning ripped through you. This pushed Frankie to come in your tight, quaking heat while a growl erupted from his mouth.

He pulled you down to your side along with him and kissed your shoulders. Your breath was ragged as you let out whimpers, and your limbs shook.

“Good girl… fuck… you did so good, mama. Yeah, come back down, baby… shhhh… did so good for me…”, Frankie cooed between his own laboured breathing while his hand rested on your middle, feeling the baby moving in your belly.

Your breathing evened out, and you let out a chuckle at the movement in you. “Frankie?”, you asked quietly.

“Hmmm?”

“We woke the baby.”

You both laughed as Frankie got up to get a cloth for your clean up.

*****

At 34 weeks, you were done being pregnant. You were all belly by this point and your back ached along with every other body part that had to work harder to accommodate your girth. One highlight though was because you were truly eating for two, Frankie had begun his old habits again. At first, when you had a craving, whatever it was and no matter how strange, Frankie would make it happen for you. Now, your middle-of-the-night wants for burgers or pasta or strawberry ice cream with pickles in it, Frankie joined in. Most nights, Frankie went to sleep with a stuffed belly, out eating you at every turn.

Benny was competing in a championship tournament and Friday night was the big fight. Although Frankie had attended some fights as of late, you’d opted to stay in, not feeling good enough to stand in a loud, packed arena. But Benny had called you himself and begged you to come watch his big fight, saying that he wouldn’t have a chance at winning if you weren’t there. He also mentioned that Frankie was bragging about how beautiful and cute you were pregnant, and he wanted to see what all the fuss was about. Instead of telling Benny to come to you to see himself, you agreed with a laugh that you would attend.

On the afternoon of the fight, you’d gotten home from work and showered the day off and done your hair and make up again. You picked out a tank top and one of Frankie’s flannels to wear over a pair of leggings. You looked in the mirror and you actually felt cute. While you still felt self-conscious about your body, you were really starting to enjoy how you looked with a big baby belly. You smiled to yourself as Frankie walked back into your room from the ensuite in a towel, catching you admiring your reflection.

“There’s my girl.”, he said, coming behind you and putting his hands under your sizable bump and gently lifting, relieving your back.

“Oh, Frankie… please do this for the next month.”, you sighed and leaned back into him. “Just follow me everywhere and do this… god, I forgot what it felt like to not have a backache.”

He kissed your neck, and gently let your belly down. “You’re doing so good, Mama… soon.”, he cooed, rubbing your bump, and looking you up and down in the mirror. “You look amazing. Wait – is that my shirt?”

“Yes. I don’t have a cardigan that I can do up if I get cold. Baby’s getting too big.”, you stated, and proudly showed him how his shirt can still snap closed over your belly. Frankie just smiled.

Benny and Frankie had agreed that you didn’t need to be there until right before his fight began, so the parking lot was packed when you arrived. Frankie had arranged for Will to meet you at the door while he went to find a parking spot.

Pulling up, Will smiled and waved. You hadn’t seen him since you were around 4 months pregnant and were anxious about him seeing you now.

Will opened the truck door and offered his hand to help you get out. “Hey Mouse! How’re you doing, sweetie?”, he said, eyes bright and happy. You noted that he scanned over your body, his eyes hovering over your middle for a beat.

“Hey Will! I’m good. Tired, huge… but good!”, you laughed, posing with your hand on your belly.

“Knock it off, you’re not huge.”, Will chided while pulling you into a hug.

You stood outside and chatted while Frankie made his way back to you on foot. Frankie hand his hand on your lower back as you tried to not waddle into the arena. Hannah jumped up from her seat when she saw you, pulling you into a hug. She looked you over and squealed, “You look amazing! Oh my god, you’re adorable!”

You saw Frankie talking to Will and then saw Santi in the conversation, too. His eyes look up and he nodded to you and smiled. You nodded back as the announcer started to speak.

Benny’s fight was intense. His opponent was almost evenly matched with him and put up a hell of a fight. Even so, Benny was the victor and was the regional champion. You figured that it could be a late night, given that Frankie would probably want to celebrate with his friends.

Benny’s entourage, Will, Hannah, Santi, Frankie and you, all waiting outside the change room for Benny. Hannah and you continued your conversation from earlier and tried to cram a few months’ worth of gossip and news into a few minutes. Frankie and Santi seemed to be doing the same along with Will. All chatter stopped the moment the change room door swung open, and Benny came flying out towards you.

“Mouse! You came! You saw me win!”, he hollered, as he ran and looked like he was ready to do what he normally did – pick you up and swing you around.

“BENNY!”, Frankie and Will yelled, eyes wide with worry, as Benny got his arms around you.

Instead of him hoisting you up though, he hugged you tight and you did the same right back. Frankie sighed in relief and Will just huffed a laugh and shook his head.

Benny pulled back and looked down at you. “I know better than to fling a pregnant lady around.”, he said with a satisfied smile plastered on his face, then stood back and looked you over. “Let’s take a look at you and see what Fish has been gloating about.”

You smiled and turned in a circle and said “ta-da!” when you pulled the flannel back to show off your bump. Benny hooted and clapped in response.

“Fucking rights, Mouse!”, he hollered at you while the rest of the group laughed.

You all made your way to the same bar you’d met up at before, even finding yourself at the same table, given it was close to the bathrooms for your convenience. Hannah was also not drinking that night and had offered to make sure at least you got home safe that night; she knew corralling up the guys would probably not be easy, and decided that they would cab it if need be. You sat between Benny and Frankie, enjoying your cranberry juice and soda water. Frankie’s arm was around the back of your chair while you talked with Benny.

He was telling you the gossip he’d heard about his opponent while he drank his beer, when the baby gave a big kick to your ribs, causing you to wince.

“Whoa, you okay? What’s wrong?”, Benny asked in alarm. Frankie turned quickly away from his conversation to look at you with a questioning look.

“Baby kicked me in the ribs. I’m okay, Benny.”, you waved him to continue. “it’s fine. Happens sometimes.”

Benny looked as though his mind was trying to comprehend the meaning of existence, then finally asked in the most bewildered voice, “Your ribs get kicked? What the fuck?”

You started laughing and Frankie chuckled behind you.

“Yes, Benny. My ribs get kicked. From the inside.”

From there, Benny asked you questions about your pregnancy, some you hadn’t even thought about asking yourself.

About two hours later, Frankie, Benny, Will and Santi were drunk. One of the bar regulars who knew Frankie knew that you were pregnant and insisted he and his crew buy the guys shots to celebrate. What you didn’t anticipate was that the guy’s crew wanted to buy a round each, meaning that Frankie had four glasses of beer, two rum and coke, and seven shots of whatever hard liquor was poured in him.

Sitting at the table with Hannah, you watched and laughed as the four men enjoyed the libations.

“I’m gonna be a dad!”, Frankie hollered at Will and Benny.

Benny tried to high five him, but missed, and yelled to a fellow patron, “He’s gonna be a dad!”

The other patron, just as drunk, said something but you couldn’t quite hear it. Santi staggered over to Frankie and jumped on him for a piggyback. Then Will, wide eyed with a stupid grin, pointed towards your table. “She’s the mom!”

Frankie whipped his head towards you and smiled, waving. “There’s mama! Hey baby!”

You and Hannah burst into a fit of giggles. The four men came back to your table, Frankie plopping himself down next to you.

“Hey mama… you look hot. So fucking good. Being pregnant and shit. Fuck, I love you.”, he slurred with a grin, hand splayed on your belly. You couldn’t help but grin at the terrible attempt he did at making a pass at you.

“Thank you, honey. You’re great, too.”, you said, trying to supress the laughter.

“Yeah, Catfish. You look good pregnant, too. Fucking… Baby Daddy Fish…”, Santi crooned, wrapping his arms around Frankie’s shoulders from behind and patting his belly like it was a bongo drum while Benny danced in his chair and chanted, “Baby Daddy Fish! Baby Daddy Fish!”

Frankie and Santi started laughing again, and Will abruptly stood up with a glass in hand, startling everyone.

“I have a toast. I have words to say to toast.”, Will declared, wavering on his feet.

“Benny, you did great. Knocked the shit out of that sonofabitch and now you’re a fucking champ – no, THE fucking champion. Proud of you and shit, man.”, he drunkenly stated, then took a drink.

Before you all could join in and take a drink, Will continued loudly.

“And I also wanna say good work to Catfish for knocking Mouse up, ‘cause now I’M GONNA BE A FUCKING UNCLE!”

Will screamed the last part of his ‘toast’, causing most of the bar to look his way then cheer. Your face was red from embarrassment, but the sentiment was not lost on you. Despite the crudeness of Will’s words, you knew he meant well, and you guessed that drunken Frankie would be happy to know drunken Will wasn’t mad at how he’d gotten you pregnant in the first place.

Santi, along with other patrons and regulars at the bar, came over to offer Frankie back slaps and congratulations. You and Hannah laughed.

You knew this was your cue to leave. You and Hannah managed to wrangle Frankie and Will into her vehicle after many sappy and drunk goodbyes from Santi and Benny who wanted to stay out longer.

Once home, Frankie flopped onto your couch, mumbling something about a cactus, and you continued to your ensuite. You, of course, had to pee again.

Once finished, you washed your hands and began brushing out your hair.

“Mouse? Baby? You in here?”, Frankie called out form the bedroom.

“In the bathroom, Frankie!”, you called back.

You saw Frankie’s reflection in the mirror and were met with a very drunk Frankie, smiling like an idiot at you.

You smiled back as he came and stood behind you, eyeing you in the mirror. He leaned in and growled in your ear, “I fucking meant it, mama. You look so fucking good like this.”

One of his large hands lifted your shirt and pushed down the waistband of your leggings, exposing your swollen middle. He palmed at your belly while the other cupped your chin, his thumb running along your bottom lip.

“So fucking hot… Love your body like this…”, he growled while kissing and nipping your neck.

You let out a moan and you hand went up into his hair, knocking his hat off his head. “Oh fuck… Frankie!”, you keened, feeling the heat radiate from his body and his hardon pushing into your back.

“I wanna keep you looking like this, mama… fuck a baby in you every god damn chance I get… breed you... so fucking beautiful…”

You could only whine and pant in response to hearing those words and seeing his eyes staring back at you in the mirror.

“I just wanna worship you… fucking tell you how fucking thankful I am…”, he crooned drunkenly, his hand trailed from your belly to try and cup your heat.

“Oh fuck… yes… please baby…”, you gasped.

He plunged his hands down the front of your leggings, fingers dancing in your folds. Despite how drunk he was, Frankie maintained his ability to get you off with no issue.

He plunged two fingers into you, and you gasped and writhed in his other arm’s grip.

“Please… fuck me, baby… I need you… please!”, you panted as you grinded down on his hands.

He removed his hands after a minute or so, and when you heard him remove his belt and pants, you knew he was not going to take you to the bedroom. He was going to fuck you the way he did when he was drunk – hurried and needy and sloppy - and you loved it. Looking up into the mirror, his eyes caught yours and he reached for your leggings, pulling them down and you stepped out of them.

“I wanna watch you fall apart while I fuck you from behind, princess.”, he grunted as he pushed you to lean forward onto your hands on the sink. “I want you to see how fuckin’ gorgeous you are when I fuck you.”

He spat into his hand and pumped his cock twice before grabbing your hips and pushing into you. You clenched your eyes and gasped at the sudden and very welcome intrusion.

“Open your eyes when and watch when I’m fuckin’ you.”, Frankie panted. He couldn’t hold any composure while being both drunk and balls deep in your cunt.

You opened them, eyes catching his and nodded, needing him to start moving. He snapped his hips into you, each time a moan escaped your mouth. You watched his jaw tighten and brows furrow while he watched you. His breathing came out in huffs while he pounded into you.

“Frankie… please… I-I need…”, you whined.

“So fuckin’ pretty… Look at you… fuck, your pussy is a fucking dream… you’re just too fuckin’ much, princess…”, he pants, and you can feel his thrusts getting messy.

“Please baby… I wanna…”, you beg, but before you can finish, Frankie comes with a few big thrusts and loud grunt. He stills in you, breathing heavily into your neck, and you feel annoyed.

He doesn’t stay in you long, and as he pulls out, his hands grip your hips to turn you around.

“Up’n the counter, princess.”, he said as he tries to get you to hop up.

“Frankie, no… no, I’m not hopping up. I’m too pregnant for that.”, you state annoyed, shaking your head.

You try to push past him, but he stops you. “You didn’t come… you gotta… I need to…”, he panted against your mouth as he reached around and lifted you on the bathroom counter.

He pushes his mouth on yours and kisses you messily. Your annoyance at him melted away and his hand went to your swollen cunt and began pumping you with two fingers; you laid back against the mirror. He got on his knees and kissed your belly and then attached his lips to your aching clit.

You cried out and arched your back and grabbed his hair.

“Oh fuck... yes... Frankie... please... right there!”

He keeps the pace and grunts into your cunt as he licks and sucks on your nub. You can feel your release barreling through your body and you shudder as you come on his fingers and face.

Your body finally relaxes as Frankie pulls himself away from you and falls over on the bathroom floor. He lays back, pants around his ankles and drunker than a sailor on shore leave. You get down from the counter carefully and nudge him with your foot.

“Frankie... honey... you can’t sleep on the floor.”, you laugh as you look down at him on the cold tiles.

He mumbles something in response and opens his eyes lazily at you. He eventually got up, took off all his clothes, and flopped onto your bed. You took your shower, peed again, and crawled into bed next to a passed-out Frankie.

As you started to fall asleep, the baby began kicking, preventing you from getting comfortable. Despite this and Frankie’s snoring beside you, you were content.

--------<3---------

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jackiequick · 9 months

Text

Blonde hair, blue eyes and a pretty little smile to match | Steve Rogers Fanfic

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OC

Timeline: Phase 1 -> 2012, Pre-Avengers

Summary: The last thing the girl needed was a reminder that her life sucked right now. Broken hands, broken heart and a broken spirt. She was healing slowly but surely but last thing she needed was to see a face like his. Or maybe that’s what she needed?

Characters mentioned: Sarah Rogers, Leo Strange, Theigo Strange

Marvel AU

———

Her heart felt like it beating out of her chest. The whispers in her head bounced around like a ghost in the mist of daylight. The city streets brought nothing to brighten up her mood. She just got out a physical therapy session with her older brothers.

Two brothers! Jeez, her dad clearly was busy that he made 3 children all at once.

She loves her brothers. Thiego and Leo are her lifeline whenever she needed it. She didn’t expect to find comfort in the both of them.

But sometimes it was suffocating being surrounded by them all the time.

Magic lesson one day, physical therapy the next and a consistent basis of reminders from doctors. Looks from people and old friends that you aren’t the same after this. That accident sent you for a worldwide mess.

She didn’t feel pretty. She cried in her room last night about it. Her soft skin was now scarred. Her hands and arms were always wrapped in bandage. A cut on her forehead that result in some shitty set of bangs. She couldn’t do anything right, she felt anxious about everything.

Self-conscious.

No one looked at her like a human being anymore. More like a half inch of what she used to be.

She wasn’t the girl she worked herself to be for the media’s eyes anymore.

All the years of work, interviews, training her spirt and wishful writing was down the drain now.

The press always showing up to ask her questions. Cameras following her movements across the streets. Upper east side ladies from the night of the accident such as Liane Felton took her accident as a way to show off and pretend to feel sorry about her.

It made her sick. She would’ve stay hidden behind the curtain of her hospital room if it wasn’t for the fact that she wanted some fresh air. She was caught up in her thought that she didn’t have a moment to think about what happened.

Her favorite small size coffee was splashed onto the sidewalk. Her shaky hands didn’t allow her to keep her fingers gripping the cup and it didn’t help that the jerk who roughly bumped into her, didn’t care to say sorry.

He just smirked looking over his shoulder as he walked away. Pathetic. He said underneath his breath. But she heard.

And he was right.

She stumbled into the ground about to lose her grip and let herself just fall. She squeezed her eyes shut, her legs felt wobbly and her lips parted into a broken sob in the back of her throat. Her face hurts. Her whole body just hurts.

Suddenly she didn’t fall. She could’ve swore she let herself stumble. But instead she realized that an hand was placed gently onto her forearm and the other cautiously holding the small of her back.

Her eyes met the face. However his face was turned to face the previous jerk from beforehand with a glare and shout. He walked her over to a small open table nearby a cafe, let her sit down carefully.

Which lead her to this moment.

She caught her breath in a hitched note, her eyes wet with tears and sniffling a bit. She rubbed her nose, finally looked up at the guy. She didn’t even realize he was asking, if she was alright for the second time in a row.

“Hey. Don’t cry, things happen. A-are you alright?” He asked.

Short blonde hair fell a little out of place. Light eyes. Pretty blues like the ocean on a warm autumn day. And small yet soft smile to match. It didn’t help that he had a beauty mark on his far left cheek. He looked like an all American painting.

A charming spirted man who loves to paints, drink a single coffee every Sunday morning and take a walk underneath the lower east side.

She has been through his before.

Being looked by the pretty blonde who asked if she was alright, saving her from her sad story and two years later he left her. Dead. Alone. Caught in a mist of sorrow.

She can already picture the other relationship ending in a framed silhouette of her crying her eyes out.

Her mother just died some time back. She didn’t need another reminder of what she lost. Not today. Please god, not today. Anything but today. She was a mess.

She couldn’t even look at the man who looked concerned about her. She was left lost for words for a second there, like she couldn’t breathe exactly what he meant. Tuning out his voice before tuning it back into her ears.

No. Not today. She reminded herself. You doesn’t deserve to be saved at this moment.

“Miss? Ma’am?” He asked once again, with such honesty in his eyes.

She let out a small group of words as her response, “..y-yeah. Yes I’m alright. Just peachy..”

“Hmm.”

“Look, I’m sorry you look busy, I’m fine. Just go on with your day, sir..”

“Uh, no it’s alright. I didn’t have much planned today. But you don’t look alright, do you need anything?”

“No. I’m fine…i um, thank you for sa—helping me.”

He softly smile, “Your welcome. I’m sorry that happened to you, you seem like you’re not having the best week and that guy just made it worse. No offense..”

“None taken.” She replied half smiling back, “I’m not having a good week and i thought a cup of coffee would fix it..”

“Well that’s New York for ya. The people are tough and don’t want to waste others time. But hey, at least you didn’t get coffee on yourself. So that’s a plus right?”

This time she let out tired chuckle and shook her head, “Yeah, your right about that.”

“You see? You’re day is looking up i hope.” He replies with a matching chuckle.

“Yeah..I’m sorry. I can’t do this. I have to head home soon..”

“You sure you okay?”

“Y-yeah..i can handle this.”

The women decided to walk out of the chair, only to stumbled as her hands started to shake. Twitching and shaking out of anxiety, nervousness and a flash of heat that crawled up her back. She wasn’t okay and she knew it.

He knew it. Guiding her to sit back down as he kneeled down in front of her. He caught her fall. He can tell she was nervous, he has seen it before in plenty of men and women.

His mother hands used shake out of nervousness, leaning against the kitchen counter and holding her breath. So his father used to gently guide his somewhat safe to sit, doing breathing exercises and run his fingers across her palms to let her know she was feeling something. Concentrate on something. Sometimes he held her wrists.

So he decided to do the same thing. This was more extreme that he seen, but he willing to give it a try. He wouldn’t forgive himself if he let the poor women go uncertain of her next move.

His did some breathing exercises, telling her to hold her breath every once in a while before letting out. Coming up for air. Telling her to focus on his voice, his words. Just try and concentrate on his voice and the sounds around them.

“I-i can’t..” She said letting out a shaking breath, sounding like a whisper as she closed her eyes.

He kept a small smile on his face, running his gently fingers crossed the palms of her hands. “It’s okay. Focus on him, what do you feeling?” He asked.

“I just feel you…i-I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. Your okay. Is it okay if i hold your wrist, press them down onto your knees?”

She just nodded. Somehow she allowed him to do so. She didn’t know what it was? She didn’t want to be saved. Or maybe she did want to be saved? But she doesn’t always think she deserve it. But he didn’t see her exactly that way, he just wanted to calm her down.

In her eyes, she was the damsel in distress. He probably saw it himself.

His voice was gentle as he talked about the last time he ever done this. It was a way to distract her, she knew it. But she didn’t care. She appreciated it actually. Taking a hold of her wrist eventually pressing them down, gently onto her knees to keep her balance.

Suddenly he realized something he forgot to ask. He chuckled to himself embarrassed he didn’t ask her this, nor did she ask him. They were literally in public doing this practice with the girl and he didn’t ask her. He thanked the lord for the cafe outside being somewhat empty.

He has seen her on TV. The News. The accident, the whole center of New York City talked about her. But she wasn’t anything like he imagined her to be. He has seen films and know people lie about their namesake for the spotlight.

To keep themselves sane and not let the whole public know everything.

Still he asked.

“Hey, what’s your name?” He asked the women holding her hands, with a gentle whisper.

“You don’t know my name?” She replied with a half smile.

“Oh, I know your name. I just wanna know if you know your name.”

“S-stella.”

He raise an eyebrow at her.

“Stella. Stella Strange.” She said with a soft smile chuckling.

“Okay, okay good.” He replied with a matching smile.

She let out a small laugh, it sounded like a scoff. She heard a significant change in his voice. He looked at her confused for not understanding why she was laughing.

“W-what-what’s so funny?” He asked with a light chuckle.

“You’re from Brooklyn.” She said with a smile.

“Y-yeah. How did you…?”

“I know an accent like that when i see it.”

“You caught me.”

“What you doing outside of Brooklyn? Waiting for the big guy?”

“Ma’am?”

The polite tone with his accent slipped out once again, as she chuckled at that.

“The big man? Iron man? He flies up and around theses parts. Stark Tower is a few blocks that way.” She told him, nodding her head a direction across from that.

“Oh? Oh no!” He replies with a chuckle this time, “No, I’m not sure I’m here for him. Just wanted to hang around the city. I love the parks here.”

“So why are you here?”

“I uh, don’t know yet. I live here now, moved out of Brooklyn some time again, and today, I decided to take a walk near the park. Grab a coffee and do some grocery shopping.”

“Nice place to meet people.”

“Tell me about it.”

She noticed her hands started to stopped shaking as the time they talked. The gentle grip and movement he held on her rough scared hands calmed her down. She looked away ashamed.

Stella just met the guy, sheepishly let him hold her hands. He must’ve thought she was damaged or something with hands like that. He hasn’t even seen her arms.

She has taken out her bandages an hour ago for let her hands breathe but she hasn’t looked at them since then. Her arms still worn the bandages but her hands were exposed. The roughness, the way she couldn’t hold things correctly anymore for too long, the thick scares and the issues that came with it.

She felt ugly once again.

He noticed the look on her face and asked, “Hey..you okay?”

She nodded, “I um..yeah. Sorry, my hands aren’t the prettiest thing you seen…”

“Hey, look they aren’t that bad. They will heal soon, just takes time.”

“Yeah, i hope so too…they aren’t even the same anymore. It probably sounds weird but i hate it..”

“Everyone has cuts, bruises and scratches on their body. But that’s what makes us human.”

“..why are you so nice to me? We just met..”

“That’s right. I don’t know you and you don’t know me.”

“But..you helped me..why?”

“Yeah i know..because I believe everyone deserves a hand of kindness no matter who’s it’s from.”

“Who taught you that?”

“My mother..kindness is a strong thing. You should alway help people out, even if it’s the smallest thing.”

Those sounded like something her friend, Sam Wilson, might’ve said to her. A good solider.

Maybe she did need a bit of saving today? A small reminder of what she lost, but also what she might’ve been missing out on…?

That feeling of being helped, accepting the fact that she’s not okay and not being seen as a result of a crashing issue.

Who knows? She still thought she didn’t deserve it exactly.

However the smile on her face might’ve said otherwise.

She took a deep breath hearing that and chuckled, “What are you? The perfect man? Hercules in disguise…?”

“I’m not perfect.” He replied with a chuckle, “I’m whoever i need to be today.”

“Prince charming…”

“What?”

“Your a knight in disguise. A heroic man…like a hero?”

If she only what they said about him, he thought. He just chuckled accepting her words and shrugged, not wanting to say too much. He was just glad he could help her out, returning a smile to her face.

He helped her stand up, noticing the time and realizing he should be heading home soon. They both should.

She thanked him once again for the helpful service he gave her. Before she walk away she asked him something. She should’ve asked him beforehand but wasn’t thinking straight to bring it into conversation.

She turned around, pushing hair out her face and asked, “Uh, hey.”

He hummed in response, hands in his pockets facing the young women.

“What’s your name?” She asked, sounding silly about it.

“Steve.” He replied with a smile, “Steve Rogers.”

“Nice to have met you, Steve.”

“Nice to have met you too, Stella.”

With that last minute, they walked different directions from another, facing the other way. Stella nodded, taking a breath and thanked the universe for fact she didn’t fall. That someone was kind enough to ask if she was okay today. Even if she wasn’t, it felt good.

Crossing their paths across the streets, not without Steve looking over his shoulder at the women before entering the general storefront. He nodded, start to feel okay that he woke up 70 years later in the future. The people will need help doesn’t matter what happens. He let out a small sigh smiling to himself.

Sometimes the smallest interaction with someone can leave an impact on you..

Thank you so much for reading this! 💙

Please like, comment, share and reblog.

Tags: @gaminggirlsstuff @gcthvile @hanlueluver @msrochelleromanofffelton @mandylove1000 @eliohasmyheart @terry-perry @sherloquestea @superspookyjanelle @starkleila @whitewiccan @rooster-84 @buckysteveloki-me @blueboirick and etc

#steve rogers x oc #steve rogers x original female character #the avengers imagine #marvel x oc #mcu oc #doctor strange #the avengers 2012 #captain america the first avenger #steve rogers imagine #chris evans #anne hathaway #meet cute #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers angst #steve rogers au

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use-your-telescope · 6 months

Text

When Everything's Made to be Broken - Chapter 8: You're Just Business

Summary: Loki confronts Theo about her avoidance of the other Avengers.

Author's Notes: Fun story/trivia about this song: In an interview with the Grammy Museum, it was revealed that some of the phrases in this first verse resulted from producer Tony Berg’s mishearing of Jon Foreman’s original lyrics: “You come ‘round like a prison ship” was misheard as “pirate ship”, and “You got a fist for a lower lip” was misheard as “fish.” Ultimately, the band decided to record the song with the mondegreens as the song’s final lyrics. I like to think that Theo was aware of this little tidbit and it led to part of why she chose this particular song.

Side note, would anyone be interested if I shared more of these goofy little trivia bits/non-spoiler reasons that certain songs appear at certain times (and maybe even captions that Theo might have posted with the covers)? I’d share them on tumblr as a little “behind the scenes” sort of thing.

I’m posting this a day early because tomorrow is the last day of helping my parents move, which also means saying farewell to the house I grew up in; I’m sure I’ll be all up in my feelings and distracted, so rather than risk missing my (self-imposed) deadline, I’m doing something wild and posting early.

If you enjoy, please reblog!! I'm a lil' blog and reblogs really help me out <3

Content Warnings: None?

Word Count: 5,314

Read on AO3 | When Everything's Made to be Broken Masterlist

Song: I need you (to be wrong) - Switchfoot

You come 'round like a pirate ship You're just business You got a fish for a lower lip You're just business You're the parentless, nightmare kid You're just business You don't answer for any of this You're just business

The end of onboarding meant the return of lazy days off.

Other than the sound of a sleety-drizzle outside, it was probably quiet enough in the tower to hear a pin drop. Any reprieve from commotion could best be described as blissful, and not needing to peer around every corner so Theo didn’t run into the Avengers brought a different kind of relief.

In a normal day, Natasha and Steve were always the first to emerge, since they liked early morning training sessions. With how they timed their workouts, Theo typically had to wake up at the ass-crack of dawn just to have 30 minutes to get into the kitchen, make herself a cup of coffee, and then slink back to her corner of the tower or get the hell out, which meant going down to the hospital to get ready for work.

Then again, when Theo got back to her suite at night and heard the commotion and the raucous laughter echoing from down the hall, something painful twisted in Theo’s chest, making her miss her life before the Avengers. It didn’t help that ever since she visited Mémère, Theo caught herself weighing whether it was worth trying to make friends with anyone while she was here.

She hadn’t planned on staying with the group after her favor was done, so on the one hand she didn’t want to grow attached, then ditch them. On the other hand, now that she couldn’t see her other friends, life had become little more than work, which was a lonely way to live. And though she loathed to admit it, Loki’s visits and Julie’s perspective on the Avengers made Theo wonder if her trepidation was truly warranted.

Then again, the Avengers didn’t know the full extent of her history or her powers. Given the reactions from people who knew her sob story, she didn’t anticipate they’d like her very much if they learned the truth. That meant every social interaction felt like it required Theo to put on a show; every word, every action was a calculated risk. She’d been doing it for so long that it felt like second nature, but it didn’t mean she liked it.

However, none of her concerns around socializing mattered, at least for the time being. According to the side discussions before the most recent debrief, all of the Avengers had plans for the weekend which took them away from New York, so she had the entire tower to herself. Wanda and Vision snuck out on a weekend getaway to Maine, Tony and Bruce were presenting at some science conference in Switzerland (and Peter tagged along), the super soldiers agreed to help with an event for the US military down in DC, Natasha and Yelena decided to visit Clint and his family out at their farm, Shuri happened to be in Oakland, and Thor had gone to New Asgard for something. Theo assumed that Loki had gone with him, since he was also an Asgardian prince and all.

Regardless, Theo’s agenda for the day consisted of one thing: reading. A mountain of SHIELD reports loomed on Theo’s desk ever since she started, consisting of both recent and past missions that would hopefully provide the context she needed to offer her expertise on the shadow creatures. Even if she would have rather been marathoning Queer Eye or visiting Mémère, a rainy Saturday morning without anyone around seemed like just as good of a time as any to check the reports of her never-ending list of things to do.

But even before she dug into the stack of reports, she needed coffee.

Theo padded through the halls of the tower, relishing the echo of her footsteps and the lack of chatter filling the air. Upon entering the kitchen, Theo decided that rather than work her way through the reports in her suite, she’d indulge in a change of scenery and set up shop at the kitchen island.

After starting the coffee, Theo brought out her laptop and the pile of reports, scattering them across the breakfast bar for easy review. She placed her headphones over her ears, cranked up her music, and became so absorbed in reading about the fallout of Ultron and the Sokovia Accords that she forgot about the coffee brewing…

… She also failed to observe that she wasn’t the only one home.

A coffee mug appeared next to her out of seemingly thin air, to which Theo yelped and practically flew out of her seat.

“What the – “ she tore her headphones off and whirled around to find Loki standing there, holding his own cup of coffee. “Jesus, Loki, creep around much?”

“I was in no way creeping. Your decision to wear headphones impeded your ability to hear me.” Loki’s tone remained cool and unaffected as he took a sip of his own coffee, leaning back against the counter. “Perhaps you might demonstrate some gratitude toward me; after all, I prepared your coffee for you.”

“In my defense, I also didn’t realize I wasn’t the only one home – I thought you went back to New Asgard with Thor.” Theo protested, trying to ignore the searing heat that rose on her cheeks. She palmed the mug of coffee in one hand, glancing briefly at the swirls of steam rising from the ceramic cup.

“I’ve no reason to be in New Asgard at present.” He shrugged, before narrowing his eyes at Theo. “If you believed you were alone, why not use Stark’s audio system to listen to your music? It is not as if you would cause a disruption.”

“It’s a habit,” Theo shrugged casually, allowing her focus to travel to her new teammate. Unlike Theo, whose heart still pounded in her chest from the surprise, Loki's casual posture and amused expression left him looking cool as a cucumber, because of course he would. “Besides, high quality headphones have better sound quality than any stereo system Tony Stark could build – it’s easier to hear the nuance and little details in the recordings.”

Loki cocked a skeptical brow at her before sauntering over to the refrigerator. As he bent down to rummage through the contents, Theo took advantage of the opportunity to drink in the full sight of Loki in the mornings.

Loki’s Saturday morning attire was more relaxed than she had ever seen from him. Black joggers slung low on his hips and followed the line of his slim form, while a gray t-shirt clung to his torso and hinted at the toned muscle beneath. He pulled his black curls back into a loose bun, but left one strand hanging down to frame his face, highlighting a jawline that cut like glass.

For all the jokes Julie made, she wasn’t kidding about Loki’s attractiveness. But that was like saying the sky was blue - no one would question that a god was objectively attractive.

In comparison, he probably thought Theo looked a bit sloppy in her oversized sweatshirt and yoga pants, her own hair tossed up in what looked less like a bun and more like a rat’s nest…

Channeling her inner gremlin, as Max would say.

Loki turned around and caught Theo studying him.

“Are you enjoying the view?” He smirked.

“I’ve never seen you in anything remotely casual before,” Theo said, mirroring his expression. “Looks good on you.”

Loki hummed, something devilish twitching on his lips to match the glint in his eye. “I should hope so.”

Theo rolled her eyes. Of the many traits Loki held, humility did not seem to be high on the list. Then again, Theo knew that if she was that attractive, she wouldn’t be humble about it, so it wasn’t like she could hold that against him.

Instead of feeding Loki’s ego, Theo returned her attention to the Sokovia report. She knew herself well enough to know if she didn’t make substantial progress on the reports that day, she would never catch up.

However, Loki either did not get the hint that Theo wanted to be left to work or he chose to ignore it, positioning himself across the island from Theo. With each passing moment, Theo felt his burning stare intensify.

“Keep looking at me like that and I’ll hit you over the head with a chair.” Theo threatened, not even glancing up from her work.

“Darling, such a temper from you this morning.” Loki practically purred. “I would have expected gratitude - after all, I prepared your morning coffee for you.”

Theo rolled her eyes, but couldn’t help the hint of a smile that quirked up. Of course the prince would make a big deal out of a small gesture. “Well, thank you for the coffee, your highness, now will you leave me alone to work?”

“How are you settling in?”

Ugh.

He couldn’t have been that dense, right? He must have known Theo did not want to talk to him at that moment. No one became a renowned diplomat if they couldn’t understand basic social cues.

“Fine,” Theo drawled, “Better if you leave me to read in peace.”

“You never choose to spend time in the common areas like this. Why today?”

A loaded question, delivered with a deceptively light tone, had Theo’s hair standing on the back of her neck.

No, he wasn’t clueless or dense - Loki wanted something; information, probably.

Something unsettling lurched in Theo’s stomach.

“Because I thought I was going to be alone?” Irritation colored Theo’s response; she gritted her teeth, debating if she should try to divert the conversation or just piss him off so he’d leave her alone.

Her morals leaned towards the former, but her temper leaned towards the latter.

For the moment, she held her tongue.

“Perhaps this will surprise you, but you are allowed to venture into the common areas while others are around to spend your leisure time and… Do whatever it is that you are doing,” Loki casually gestured to the stack of papers scattered between them. “As you previously stated, you are not a princess to be locked away in a tower.”

“Currently, I��m reading reports,” Theo muttered, “And you’re proving to me exactly why I don’t do this in common areas – because you’re distracting me.”

It took a significant amount of willpower not to slam her computer closed and retreat to her suite; after all, the heavily redacted report about Budapest that was next on her list looked like an enticing read.

“See, that brings me to my next question: why, when you have a beautiful Saturday morning to relax, are you spending your time reading reports and paperwork?” A playful, lighthearted tone graced Loki’s question, but Theo’s patience wore dangerously thin. “If you wish for quality reading material, you only need to ask. I’ve plenty of recommendations.”

“Okay, since apparently you refuse to get the hint, I’m just going to be blunt: I am trying to work. I don’t want to talk right now. Quite frankly, your impromptu interrogation is pissing me off. So for the love of all that is holy, can you leave me alone?” Theo huffed, outright glowering at Loki.

“You may not be interested in speaking, but I’m certainly interested in answers to my question.” Loki arched a brow at Theo, sipping his coffee as if he could wait all day for a response.

“Because the world isn’t going to save itself and I have a lot of background knowledge to catch up on if I don’t want to fuck up one of these missions and get a bunch of people killed.” Theo’s frustration made its open debut, but amidst her ire she failed to hide the undercurrent of anxiety in her answer.

Before Theo even finished, Loki’s demeanor shifted from taunting to serious - he must have recognized that he struck a nerve.

Shit.

She let her guard down and he latched onto it instantly… Careless mistakes like that could get her killed.

“Are you aware that it is not a requirement to memorize every piece of SHIELD’s history?” Loki leaned in so he could look at Theo over her laptop, face shifting to something unreadable before he continued. “Generally speaking, we have only enough knowledge to complete the individual mission. You need not push yourself to learn everything so that you might recall it at a moment’s notice.”

It wasn’t about knowing everything - it was about assessing the risks. Theo needed to know the history in order to understand the potential risks. If she was in an emergency department, she knew the environment. She knew the variables. She had control over her situation.

But in the field? Knowing anything was a laughable thought.

“It’s not about memorizing, it’s about learning what I got myself into,” Theo flatly replied, hoping to make up for her slip. “I know Fury is fond of leaving out important details in favor of creating a narrative, so I want to make sure I know what he hasn’t told me before I’m sent out into the line of fire.”

“And you believe reports are the way to learn such information?” Skepticism dripped from Loki’s question.

“I didn’t say I liked it, but this,” Theo gestured to the mess of documents around her, refusing to let her nerves show once more, “is better than letting Fury trot me around like a prize horse or his little puppet.”

It was a half-truth; he didn’t need to know all the details, but perhaps she could spin it to take some of the pressure off.

“I do not believe you’re giving yourself enough credit.” Loki stepped around the island so he stood next to Theo, then shut her laptop so she would look him in the eye. He certainly accomplished the goal, but earned a frustrated groan from Theo in the process. “You’re an immensely sharp and powerful sorcerer – I can feel the magic pouring off you. You easily handle extreme physical duress during training, you effortlessly adapt to any social situation, and it has not escaped my attention that you’re extremely well-studied in a variety of areas.”

Sure, Loki saw Theo spar with Steve, and obviously they’d hung out a few times; they spoke at the party from the first night, and showed up to the soccer game and the bar show… But a handful of interactions wouldn’t have been enough to draw those conclusions, right?

Maybe it was a bluff, or an attempt at wooing her with his famed silver tongue so she would give him the information he wanted.

It wouldn’t be the first time someone lied to her in hopes of gaining her trust.

“First of all, I’m not sure whether I should be flattered or creeped out that you’ve been watching me so closely,” Theo retorted with a scowl. “Second of all, what’s your point?”

“If you are concerned about your ability to defend yourself on a mission, you need not fret.” Loki sounded cocky, almost arrogant – how would he know what they were up against? “You realize you are not the only one responsible for your safety in the field?”

“You really think that the others, who look at me like I’m a terror, give a shit about my safety?” “They do not believe you are a terror.”

“Cool, tell that to my grandma when she has to deal with my dead body,” Theo muttered. She attempted to snatch her laptop from Loki, but he held firm.

Loki may have been nicknamed a silvertongue, but the only thing his tongue had done was piss Theo off.

Enough was enough.

“ I don’t have time for this shit.” With a flick of her wrist, a swirl of shimmering runes encompassed the reports and her laptop, teleporting them back to her quarters. Theo snatched her coffee mug, then offered a final wave and a bratty sneer before transporting herself to her suite.

In the solitude of her suite, Theo let out a sigh.

So much for a peaceful Saturday morning.

I got a body, but I lost my mind I'm just business Placeholder with a bottom line I'm just business Please don't take this personally It's just business

Standing in the kitchen, Loki gaped at the empty seat before him and replayed the events which led to his current predicament.

In some ways, he could have foreseen such an outcome. Initial interactions with Theo had been far more successful than Loki anticipated, to the degree that he almost believed Theo might actually wish to befriend him. Thus, it was inevitable that he would ruin his progress in a truly spectacular manner.

In his defense, walking into the kitchen and finding Theo there had not been something he anticipated. The circumstances practically begged for Loki to engage; when else would he see Theo anywhere besides her workplace or mandatory Avengers engagements?

Yet, after a handful of occasions spent casually making each other’s acquaintance, Loki expected something with a bit more banter, or at least something more lighthearted. Instead, she met his questions with barbed remarks and vicious glares, culminating in another disappearing act.

The Theo that Loki encountered in the kitchen was vastly different from the Theo he first met, or the one that he spent time with in the research library; that Theo seemed confident and self-assured, sharp-witted and formidable regardless of the circumstances. But when caught off-guard, she became aggressive and downright irascible, to the extent that Loki questioned whether or not it was the same woman who he’d spoken to before.

However, deep within Loki’s chest, something uncomfortable twisted. He recognized the behavior, mostly because he had once acted in such a manner; if he was entirely honest with himself, he knew exactly what motivated such behavior:

Protecting oneself at all costs.

Seeing Theo in such a state brought to mind his mother’s gardens in Asgard. When flowers were cut and taken from the gardens, they eventually wilted and withered, unable to adapt to their new surroundings. Roses, one of his mother’s favorite flowers, eventually developed thorns all along the stem, which made cutting the blooms a much more challenging task; a defense mechanism that evolved over the course of millennia.

Like the thorns that protected the roses, Theo’s hostility served as a defense mechanism, an instinct developed to protect herself from something which previously scarred her, something which might have caused her to wither and wilt until nothing more than a shadow of her former self.

In Theo’s behavior, Loki saw himself. There was once a time where he had been so guarded that the other Avengers called him a cactus because of his prickly, sullen demeanor. Though the moniker had become a relic, the instinct remained firmly ingrained upon Loki’s psyche.

Theo was by no means a cactus, but she certainly had some thorns.

Loki sighed, smoothing calloused fingers over his hair. Ideally, he could remedy the situation with minimal lingering damage to the delicate kinship he struck with Theo; yet the manner in which he could achieve such a feat eluded him.

If he approached too soon, she would only recoil, particularly if she felt cornered. If he waited too long to speak to her, she might suspect his intentions stemmed from less than savory desires - exploitation or a means to an end.

After much dithering, Loki settled upon a plan: if he did not see Theo around lunch, he would knock on her door. If she failed to respond, he would try again at dinner time.

If he still had not heard anything, he would send her a message through his mobile, leaving the onus upon Theo - if she wished to interact she could, however he would not push further.

Any and all confidence Loki held in the plan dwindled when noon came and went with no sign of the silver shadow. Despite the aura of magic radiating from within, Loki’s knocks were met with silence, only dampening his spirits further.

To be on the receiving end of rejection brought a certain discomfort which Loki had not outright encountered in quite some time, and it remained at least as unpleasant as he remembered (if not moreso). Midgardians never outright rejected him - first, they feared him, but over time some came to lust after him. As for the Asgardians, they knew better than to disrespect a crown prince, even if his lineage brought disgrace upon the throne. The more he dwelled on the matter, the clearer it became that he could not remember the last time someone outright turned away from him in such a blatant manner.

Without any sign of Theo in the afternoon, or around the time when the others typically took their evening meal, Loki braced himself for the worst and made the trek down the corridor.

As he approached, the faint sound of music could be heard from inside Theo’s quarters, which combined with her aura confirmed she was present. After pausing for a moment to gather himself, Loki rapped his knuckles upon the door.

Much to his surprise, the music stopped. Footsteps grew louder as Theo approached the door. The noise ceased for a beat, then the lock clicked, and the door swung wide.

Theo stood before him, arms crossed and brows drawn tight as she scrutinized Loki.

“I don’t know if I should be impressed or annoyed by your stubbornness.” Theo skipped any formal greeting, leaning against the doorframe as she gave him a once-over. “Then again, I’m the one that answered the door, so maybe your strategy is effective, or I’m a glutton for punishment. Either way, are you here to continue badgering me about work, or is there something else you want?”

Loki drew in a deep breath.

“It seems I struck a nerve,” he observed. “For that, I apologize.”

“Is that all?” Theo eyed Loki warily, as if she knew other matters remained on his conscience.

Loki sighed; it seemed as good of a time as any to address what Midgardians often referred to as ‘the elephant in the room.’

“I noticed you’ve not yet made the acquaintance of the others.”

“I socialize with the other hospital staff,” Theo countered.

Loki scoffed. “I am referring to the other Avengers.”

“I know.” Theo answered as if she had no intention of continuing the conversation. Loki raised his eyebrows at her in a silent question; she rolled her eyes and sighed. “Look, I’m sure they’re fine, but I’m not really interested.”

“Dare I inquire as to why?”

“For one thing, the only reason they’re pretending to be interested in me is because Fury gave them the mission of convincing me to stay on as an Avenger.” Theo cocked an eyebrow at Loki as she slouched further into the doorframe. “So it’s not like they’re really trying to be my friend. And besides, most of them were more than quick to jump to conclusions about who, or what kind of person, I was.”

“If that is so, then why have you not shunned my company?” Loki challenged. “How do you know I am not making your acquaintance to win over the director?”

“I don’t,” she admitted, “but you don’t seem like the type of person to crave Nick Fury’s adoration, or like you’d let him make you his bitch. I suppose I could be wrong, though.”

“Such rousing praise,” Loki drawled. “Truly, the utmost of faith you place upon me—“

“Okay, fine - you really want to know why I’m willing to talk to you?” Theo interrupted, silencing Loki in the process, “Because in that first meeting, you didn’t automatically assume I was the villain.”

Something painful twisted in Loki’s stomach. Nowhere in the list of potential responses that Loki developed prior to asking the question was Theo’s answer, yet what she described was an experience he knew all too well. The memory of Barton’s initial reaction to Loki’s presence remained painfully vivid to the Asgardian, which only diminished Loki’s confidence in his argument.

Still, Theo’s perceptions of the situation were not entirely true. “I was not the only Avenger who made no assumptions about your morality—”

“Not out loud,” Theo agreed, “But you were the only one who didn’t look at me like I was some kind of terror. You actually looked at me as a person.”

If anyone could empathize with Theo’s experience, it would be Loki. Joining the Avengers, a group who he didn’t truly know or trust, and who didn’t know or trust him… For quite some time, Loki believed wholeheartedly that he made a terrible mistake.

Months passed from when he first relented to Thor’s pleas to become an Avenger to when Loki partook in a movie night, and that only happened because Thor physically dragged Loki from his quarters. He lost count of the number of times he turned Maximoff down before finally relenting to her constant requests to spend time together.

In the end, it took over a year for Loki to feel remotely comfortable simply existing in the common areas during the day, going on missions without his brother, or speaking to anyone that was not Thor. Even after so long, he still questioned whether the others valued his contributions to the team, or if they simply tolerated his presence.

“I will admit, the others are not always the most… open-minded, shall we say. Not in the beginning, at least.” Loki chose his words carefully, recognizing the delicate nature of the situation at hand. “However, I truly believe they have moved past the false assumptions, and I would highly recommend you use the opportunity to demonstrate that you are not the terror they assumed you to be.”

“And how do you know that they even want to get to know me?” Theo pressed, piercing blue eyes scrutinizing Loki’s every move.

“Because I was once in a similar position.” The answer slipped out before Loki could stop it. He carefully schooled the surprise from his features; meanwhile, Theo made no effort to hide her skepticism.

“I understand that you may not fully trust me yet – I’m the trickster god, I have a history of manipulating people. Quite frankly, it would be in your best interest not to trust me. But!” Loki admitted, then continued before Theo could get a word in edgewise: “You remind me quite a bit of myself, when I first became an Avenger. I believed the others assumed the worst in me. I held no trust in the others, and in turn they placed no trust in me. It remained as such for quite some time – too long, in hindsight.

“The change in my relationship with my colleagues came when I finally relented to my brother and Maximoff’s incessant attempts to force me to socialize with the others. If it were not them, I would still remain hidden away in my quarters at all hours.

“Honestly, at the time I desired nothing more than to kill them in a spectacular manner for their belligerent pestering and sickening optimism. But between you and I, it helped me far beyond simply becoming a part of the Avengers – it helped me move on from the past that used to define me.”

To be so genuinely forthcoming was a bold decision. Had it been anyone else, he would not have dared to reveal such information, particularly someone so new. However, Theo had a knack for drawing the unexpected from Loki, even if it often caught him by surprise. Additionally, the mystery surrounding Theo piqued his curiosity, which only grew with the reluctance to socialize with the others.

Without taking a risk, there would be no reward.

Theo narrowed her eyes at the God of Mischief, chewing the inside of her cheek as she mulled over his words.

“I remind you of… you?” Distrust clung to every word, only amplified by the doubt written across her expression in big, bold letters.

“Well, yes,” Loki replied coyly. “but you are far more charming and engaging. When I first arrived, I was simply full of spite.” He chuckled, earning a hesitant smile at Theo as a faint hint of pink rose on her cheeks from his compliment. “Had there been no consequence, Stark would have gleefully made a spectacle of launching me off the top of the tower.”

Theo’s shoulders bounced as she chuckled at Loki’s remarks. A sense of relief washed over Loki - perhaps he hadn’t made a mess of things after all.

“The winter soldier, the scarlet witch, myself - at one point or another, we were enemies of various factions of the Avengers. Romanoff is a former black widow, as is Belova. If we can be accepted into the Avengers, I’ve no doubt that you can as well.” Loki assured her, his confidence building with every passing moment. “However, you must be willing to engage.”

Before Theo could roll her eyes and offer a snarky dismissal, Loki held up a finger to silence her.

“At least humor Maximoff once,” he bargained. “I’ve listened to her prattle on endlessly about her excitement at your addition to the Avengers ever since she learned the news, and if I have to endure any more of her moping because you’ve rejected her invitations to socialize, I very well might lose my mind.”

After far too long of a pause, Theo finally answered.

“Okay, fine. I will stop turning down the invites to hang out and I’ll try to ‘play nice’ with the others,” she relented, sounding none too pleased as she straightened up. “For the record, I never agreed to any of this. I am here reluctantly, at best.”

“Yes yes, the reluctant Avenger - you’re not the first one. I wrote the book on it.” Loki ribbed, earning a real laugh from Theo. “Now come, it is far too beautiful of a day to spend it reading such dreary reports. Why not spend your time on something you might enjoy?”

“You know it’s raining outside, right?” Theo pointed to a window behind her, where an onslaught of water undoubtedly pounded against the glass.

“Of course I do;” Loki lightly scoffed. “That’s why it is such a beautiful day - it is perfect for settling in with some literature and forgetting about the tomfoolery the rest of this dreadful realm subjects us to.”

Theo didn’t argue with him, but she continued to peer at him rather suspiciously.

“You have worked non-stop ever since you started here. What is the phrase that you mortals love? All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy? I fear you might become dreadfully dull if you keep this up.”

“Good thing my name isn’t Jack.” Theo winked, her quick-wit making its blessed return.

“All work and no play makes for a rather wretched existence.” Loki amended his statement, smirking at Theo. “What you ought to do is put those reports away, find a novel that you actually enjoy, and join me in the sitting room to indulge in some reading. We might even listen to some of your music over the speakers, since you seem to be averse to silence yet easily startled when you wear your headphones.”

“I don’t know, this Budapest report looks like a great mystery to crack.” Theo shrugged, though her tone no longer held any trace of the tension or animosity that had previously dominated her replies.

Loki rolled his eyes, though he couldn’t bite back a smile.

“Okay,” Theo finally agreed, “let me put this stuff away, and then I’ll come join you.”

As she joined him in the corridor, Loki concluded that one thing was certain: he much preferred Theo’s banter to her thorns.

I need you to be wrong (All along wе both were wrong) I need you to be wrong (All along wе both were wrong)

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