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femmefatalevibe · 8 months

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25 Life Lessons I've Learned In 25 Years

In honor of turning 25 this month, here are some lessons I wish someone could've baked into my brain by 18. Hope this helps xx

Putting yourself first is not selfish, it is an act of self-care. Actively discounting others is not the same as protecting your peace.

Pay attention to who gossips and keeps to themselves amidst an interpersonal conflict. Insecure people or those in the wrong will speak the loudest and go on the longest in a fight to prove their innocence. Individuals who are self-assured and comfortable with the truth know it's better to communicate their feelings appropriately and then move past it. Confidence is assertive, tactful, and relatively silent.

If you want to know who to believe in an argument, pay attention to how both sides speak about the conflict. The perpetrator will often speak about the individuals' character/morality while the victim will explain their personal experience in the context of the relevant situation.

Display empathy and consideration, but don't live to satisfy others' emotional needs and expectations. Say farewell to anyone who dismisses or guilts you for your own needs, emotions, priorities/life goals & aspirations.

Your needs matter. No one needs to approve or validate your desires. If someone feels they have control over you or tries to persuade you to change your mind to ensure you put their emotions and needs first, cut them out of your life. They do not care about you.

Almost no one deserves insider access into your life and mind. Upholding your right to privacy – especially regarding your finances, dating life, health conditions/concerns, and long-term goals – is the simplest way to protect your peace.

A friend to all is a friend to none. Be wary of those who will not stand up for you behind closed doors. These people do not care about you, they care about what your place in their life does for them and their ego.

Be radically honest and accepting of who you are. Don't apologize for your preferences, aspirations, and values. You deserve to live in a way that makes you happy, not to appease others in hopes of their approval or future favors due to your karmic good deeds.

You deserve happiness, love, and nice things, life experiences, relationships, and opportunities in your life regardless of what others may or may not possess/ be able to experience. Dispel this scarcity mindset ASAP. Jealousy and internalized shame are destructive to your self-esteem and all your relationships.

You are worthy and offer many incredible, unique gifts to the world. Don't allow naysayers, critics, or bullies (of any age) to dim your light or sacrifice pursuing your dreams. Decide you're the leader of your own life. Then act accordingly.

Direct communication is always the way. Remain tactful, but at least when dealing with non-manipulative people, always say what you mean and mean what you say. It will save a lot of trouble and petty disagreements that could've been avoided with clearer communication.

You don't owe anyone an explanation for your feelings, emotions, and actions that don't have a direct, inescapable impact on someone else. "No" is a complete sentence.

Approach conversations as a meeting of the minds. Healthy debate or conflict is about seeking to understand the other person, not prove yourself right. Leaving your ego at the door will allow you to expand your mind and avoid many unnecessary conflicts or arguments.

If it's not a hell yes, it's a no. For a job, date, sex, attendance at a time-sucking social event, family gatherings, an informal meeting not essential for you to keep your job, a wedding, birthday party, holiday invitation, etc. Outside of your contracted hours and time necessary to keep yourself/your home clean & well-maintained, you should spend your time exactly as you please. Doing things you don't want to do will only breed resentment down the line toward yourself and others.

Detangle yourself from any who refuses to self-reflect and take accountability. This person is selfish and will never see you as fully human with emotions, needs, and a complete life/internal world of your own. Cut them out (or at least fully emotionally detach and limit contact with them) immediately.

Speak your truth, but always say a little less than you feel necessary. Overexplaning and oversharing do you no favors. At a minimum, this approach allows you to protect your peace. In the worst circumstances, this tactic can also save you from a lot of trouble in your personal or professional life.

Learn to ask for a little more than you're comfortable with, but do so with grace, tact, and confidence. Whether it's a salary/rate negotiation, flight/hotel/restaurant accommodations, get in the habit of making that slightly higher/up-leveled request like you're expecting a "yes." You can't get something you don't ask for, so speak up and show you know your worth. This habit can bring a lot of great opportunity into your life and builds up your confidence.

Everyone is on their own timeline and path. Don't compare yourself to others' credentials, job titles, relationship status, net worths, or jean sizes. Comparison is truly the thief of joy. Remaining envious of others only takes up the energy that could otherwise be used to elevate or enrich your life.

Become clear on your priorities, and remain diligent with your habits & routines. Set SMART goals. Implement healthy habits and rituals into your daily lifestyle. Be consistent with goal-supporting and wellness rituals (generous sleep schedule, healthful eating habits, daily movement/regular exercise, reading, task time-blocking, cleaning, and life/work admin schedule), so they become second nature. Help yourself by creating these default habits to ensure your brain is wired for success whether you're in an easygoing era or a stressful life season.

Stop seeing other people (especially other women) as your competition in your profession/dating life and within your platonic relationships. Use your immediate criticisms as a tool for self-reflection. Actively deconstruct the patriarchy in every aspect of your life. Other women coworkers, dating prospects, and friends are not your rivals nor individuals who should be evaluated based on their assertiveness, sexual history/appeal, relationship status, or desire to perform traditional maternal/domestic roles.

Understanding how to interact with others in a cordial, tactful manner is significantly more important than having everyone like you. Learn how to positively influence people without seeking approval. What other people think of us is none of our business. All we can do is show up as the best version of ourselves, and remain optimistic about a potential connection.

Acceptance, accountability, and consistent discipline are the holy trinity to creating a sustainable change that you can maintain for the long haul. There's no shame in starting from the bottom, but you need to be honest about where you're at, so you can create a realistic game plan/small behavior-changing habits that stack up over time to help you implement the radical change you're craving.

Let go of any internalized shame. Being the "good girl" does you no favors in life. Set a standard and expectation to be respected, not to be perceived as "innocent" or submissive – this is how you get taken advantage of in professional, platonic, and intimate relationships. Remain ravenous for respect. It's the only way to live life to the fullest.

24. Investing in your appearance is a form of self-respect. Wanting to look & feel your best and present yourself in the best light possible to others is not a superficial pursuit. Remain unwavering about your hygiene/beauty/grooming routines, deliberate styling choices, healthy eating & workout habits, and mindfulness of social graces. You're your #1 publicist, so act like it. Life is all about embracing satisfaction with a sprinkle of reputation management.

25. Be unapologetic about your financial ambitions, priorities, investments, savings goals, etc. Financial freedom IS freedom. The only way to change the system is to break it from the inside out. Leverage is everything. Allocate, and assert your (financial) power wisely.

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drakulateeth · 5 months

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#my moodboards #dark femininity #dark feminine energy #art of seduction #divine feminine #female excellence #female manipulator #anyway #hypergamy #glow up #light feminine energy

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princesssascha · 2 months

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The best thing to invest in (aka yourself)

I'm sure everyone has thought about their current or future finances many times, and I'm also sure that you'd love to make a lot of money. Sure, you can spend hours searching the internet for the best business idea or the best college majors that you are not even interested in, but how about taking the easy route? A low risk, high reward and easy way to be financially free. Isn't that just a dream?

One of the most recent as well as most popular ways to earn money is investing. Although it can be a great way to earn money, 99% of the time it will only make you a lot of money if you're already rich! But there is one thing that you can invest in that will never fail you, yet no one talks about it. YOURSELF. The most valuable thing in the universe.

Define your goals

Ask yourself: What are your goals? If you want to be a business owner, learn skills that will be helpful in that field, for example marketing, so you can advertise your products, which will increase your revenue. Once you decide what your goal is research what skills are valuable and educate yourself of those topics.

But what if I don't know what I want to do?

That's completely fine! Instead of thinking about a specific niche, think about what you want your life to look like in general. Do you want to earn a lot of money? Google some of the most paying jobs. Do you value creativity in your work field? There are jobs for that too! It's ok if you can't find something that intrigues you. It's a journey and you don't need to find something that you'll do for the rest of your life right away.

Learn about money

Something that you can do regardless of what you want to achieve in life is learning about money! Unfortunately, most people don't know much about it except that it can buy you things. I can assure you that if you spend even just one week learning about this topic, you will know more than 90% of people. Robert Kiyosaki, who wrote the best seller "rich dad poor dad", is a great author that can teach you a lot about finance. I highly recommend all of his books, I'm sure you'll find something that peaks your interest.

Courses & school

Whether you are in school or not, you need to educate yourself! Everything can be monetized. Literally everything. We live in incredible times where if you just have a phone and access to the internet EVERYTHING you could want to learn can be learned online for free. Just go on YouTube and search something along the lines of (topic) 101, (topic) masterguide, etc. the possibilities are endless and I assure you that you will find something. If you don't mind spending money for courses try skillshare to unlock all courses available on their site or Udemy, they often do 80% off sales so you can get their courses for like $5.

Learn languages

I can't stress this enough! This is probably one of the best things you can do for yourself! Learning a new language can open so many doors for you! It can help you get a higher paying job, give you countless new opportunities and help you meet incredible people who speak that language. There are no right or wrong languages to choose, but in case you have no idea what you want, here are some of the most important factors:

Amount of speakers: This will be your main factor if your main goal is to reach as many people as possible, for any reason. This includes languages such as: Spanish, French, English (duh), or if you're up for a challenge: Hindi, Mandarin or Arabic.

Enjoyment: I think this should be important to everyone. You can't learn a language if you don't enjoy it. Try to learn the basics and see if you like how it sounds and how it feels.

Travel/domicile: if you know your dream is to move to a different country, where another language is spoken, it might be a good idea to learn it. Also, if you're interested in some country's culture you might also find it to be a great reason to learn it.

Job opportunities: although, as I mentioned above, pretty much every single language will give you many opportunities, it might vary depending on where you live and what your field of work is, for example if you live in the US, the most beneficial languages for you to learn will be English and Spanish. If you work in a company that works with Japanese companies, then Japanese might be a good choice for you. Of course, the most popular languages will have benefits pretty much anywhere in the world.

Other ways to invest in urself

Honestly, it would be difficult to fit all the resources in this post since that would make it ridiculously long, and I want to include many things so that everyone can find something that they enjoy, so I will make a whole different post about all of this in the future, because of that reason I will briefly go over a few other ways to grow:

Read

Reading is incredible! It has countless health benefits and it is a great way to learn about new things or expand your vocabulary. And no, you don't need to read educational books, although it sure is even more helpful. If you want to learn new words reading any book at all could help. I can say that as someone who grew up constantly reading people are often shocked at my vocabulary (in my native language), even since I was 5 years old, so yes, it works.

Mindful scrolling

Instead of just sitting on your phone all day watching stupid videos, pay attention to what content you're consuming and how long you spend on your phone.

Self care

I'm sure you guys already know that, so treat this as a reminder. Take care of yourself! And remember, looking out together can help you a lot in life. So put that face mask on, buy that new perfume you like and most importantly - prioritize your health!

Now you know exactly what you need to set yourself up for success. No more excuses!

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toptierfemale · 2 years

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Amelia Earhart

#amelia earhart #women's history #womens history #female history #me #female excellence

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mystery-noble-blood · 1 year

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balkanradfem · 2 years

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#lyme disease #ticks #woman figures how to deal with ticks #female excellence #article #feminism

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slutl4clairo · 1 year

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i want someone to notice the freckles on my lips

not the way my chest looks when i’m bare

or the diameter of my waist

but the crinkle that appears on my nose when i tell a joke

or the inquisition in my eyes while surrounded by beautiful things

someone who will observe the dysfunction between my voice and i

and choose to lend a hand in our reconciliation

someone who can reassure me that even after the sun enters its slumber

it will again open its eyes

and wipe off the sleep of the night before,

and when i fear the day that my breasts begin to sag and my hips grow wide

reassure me that my beauty does not lie in another’s desire to fuck me

but in my inclination to smile at strangers

the openness of my heart for others

and the giving soul my mother so meticulously curated

#poetry #girlhood #yearning #female excellence

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yenyromes · 8 months

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#women #female excellence #empoweringquotes #empowerment

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ladaeliseeva · 1 year

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Ph: @gala.beauty.09

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h310 · 1 year

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official-stores-blog · 1 year

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Steve Madden Women's Maxima Sneaker

Shop now❣️

#womenfashion #women shoes #stunning #street style #beautiful #female excellence #travel

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femmefatalevibe · 8 months

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Femme Fatale Guide: Signatures To Discover For A Stronger Personal Brand

Personal brand colors (for your outfits, makeup, nails, socials, office supplies/decor, etc.)

Signature aesthetic choices (could you be identified as the woman always in a leather jacket, wearing red lipstick, always wearing crystal hair clips or full ear stacks, etc.)

Signature jewelry pieces

Go-to nail color/shape

Signature drink (alcoholic or not)

Personal sayings you're known for in your social group

Signature scent

Unique talents/hobbies/skillsets (Painting, cooking, computer skills/programming, negotiating, writing, etc.)

Your go-to restaurants, shops, etc.

Signature meals/particular food choices

Signature hostess gifts

Specific leisure priorities (she's the woman you'll always find at the Opera, contemporary art museum, dog park, watching Alfred Hitchcock movies, etc. in her free time)

Areas of life where you give the best advice

Causes/organizations you care most strongly about

Your greatest social competency (Telling the best stories, being funny, asking great questions, making everyone feel welcome and included, negotiating, planning the best trips/parties, being a social connector, etc.)

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drakulateeth · 3 months

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Reject the Level Up Parade

I have curated my feed in a very specific way where I only see pretty images and content about discipline and self-actualization. After having consumed more than enough media, I wanted to discuss the idea of “leveling up”.

We suppose that if we follow this super strict regimen, we will inevitably be better and therefore level up. Let’s just assume that levels are correlated to social class, and we want to make more money, be prettier, and healthier. In order to level up, it seems that we should:

Go to the gym (subscription/at home kits + pretty clothes and accessories)

Have a pretty room (rent + furniture + trendy lights or whatever else, these are just examples)

Aesthetic electronics (iPhones, iMacs)

Prestigious schools (5-figure tuition + relocation costs, etc.)

Self-care (nails, hair, hair removal, laser, dermatologist appointments, facials, massages, and beauty products)

Prettier clothes, accessories, pets, cars, vacations and the list goes on and on.

Obviously, all these things must also be extremely pretty in order to count towards the level-up philosophy. Is it clear how high the price tag for this level up is? Everything that is being marketed as level up is actually just more consumption. You assume that through changing your friend circle and going to uni, you will level up, which is true, but it doesn't imply that you will be a completely different person.

We are who we are, and chances of us revamping totally are very low. Even if you invest a lot of money in acquiring everything that level-up gurus swear on, you will still be you. And even journaling and therapy and whatever else will not save you from yourself. You will change and evolve and become better, but you will still be you.

I only know one person who does all of this and is actually happy, and do you know what it comes down to? A healthy family life and a shit ton of money. So, if you do not happen to have that, you need to just accept yourself as you are and make the most out of your life. You have full rights to want to make your life prettier. I’m not against that, but you should reject the sense that it will fix your life. You can buy a new phone; it looks better, it works better, it is great, but you are still you. No one cares. My nails do make me feel prettier, but do I think I am somehow better because I have them? No. I’m still the same bitch with or without them.

Was I a worse person because I did not go to the gym? Will I be better because I restarted it? I will feel different; it will affect my thoughts and my body. But I am still me. These acts of “self-care” are just a money grab.

And I’m also tired of hearing about, "Oh, but I do not have the money." You’re just not viewing yourself for what you are; you are hiding behind the fact that you do not have money to spend frivolously for nails and eyelashes and other procedures that, quite frankly, do not matter. If there are things you want to work with and improve, just set some goals and work with them. Stop being greedy by over-consuming on the next big trend. How about you try work with your reality? That’s it. Decide what you like and dislike and then decide on what you want to do about it. And even if you fuck up, tough shit.

Reject the sense that this “level up journey” will ever end and will ever be financially feasible. Let’s be real, chances are we will always have something that will stress us out. Ideally, we should aim and strive to be healthy and authentic… but let’s be real, do the systems around us support that? It will try to sell you solutions, but that’s about it.

Until next time my maneaters,

snowblack

#snow rambles #dark feminine energy #dark femininity #art of seduction #divine feminine #female excellence #female manipulator #hypergamy #glow up #light feminine energy #level up #capitalism #anyway #female empowerment #high value mindset #self improvement #spoiled girlfriend

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mimi-0007 · 9 months

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Chaka Khan

#chaka khan #black tumblr #black excellence #black community #black girl magic #female singer #black singers #beautiful voice #blackexcellence365 #american singer #70s music #70s fashion #afros #beautiful hair #70s nostalgia

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toptierfemale · 2 years

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Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss: the story of Princess Caraboo of Javasu

In 1817, a young woman showed up in a town just outside of Bristol, England. She was dressed strangely, had very few personal effects, and she spoke a strange language that no one could identify. She was taken to the town’s magistrate who gave her a place to sleep, but she rather bizarrely acted like she had no idea what a bed was.

This young woman was taken in by the magistrate’s wife, who did everything she could to find out who the woman was and where she was from. The magistrate’s wife, Elizabeth Worrall, was slightly suspicious of the young woman, but she was able to discover the young woman’s name: Caraboo.

People came from far and wide to meet Caraboo and ponder over what language she was speaking. A sailor visited her one day, and he was able to tell everyone that she was a princess from an island nation called Javasu. The sailor claimed that Princess Caraboo was kidnapped by pirates and taken to England.

Caraboo’s language was studied by many, and a few people tried to compile a. list of vocabulary words. The language seemed to have its own grammar rules, and Caraboo was incredibly consistent with it. In fact, she did not respond to anything said to her in English.

Eventually, someone came to visit the magistrate and informed him that Caraboo was no princess, but instead a servant named Mary Baker. Mary Baker was not from an island in Asia, but actually grew up not too far from where she was currently living with the magistrate’s family. It was all a con.

But what was her motive for this? Her intention was not to cause trouble or gain fame and money, but to avoid the workhouses. At this time in England, anyone who did not have a place to go was sent to the workhouses, which were terrifying places where poor people were forced to work, often in terrible conditions. Many people died there.

Things actually turned out rather well for Mary Baker after this. Despite the fact that she’d fooled everyone for a few months, Mrs. Worrall (the magistrate’s wife) was sympathetic to Mary and actually paid for her to move to the US.

What I find the most remarkable about this story is Mary’s confidence. She improvised everything, but was able to convince doctors and lawmen alike that she was from a country that did not exist. If that’s not the definition of gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss, then I don’t know what is.

#womens history #female excellence #female history #herstory #me

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brentmore · 2 years

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#close enough #female excellence

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