You gonna go snap me or keep making me wait? 🙄
Femme Fatale Guide: How To Cultivate Self-Love & Boost Self-Esteem
Acknowledging these two truths is essential:
You have inherent worth. No one can deprive or deplete you of this value – except yourself.
Only you can be the hero of your own life. It's no one's obligation to be your personal cheerleader – except you.
Understanding that only you are responsible and able to generate your sense of happiness and fulfillment sets you free.
How To Practice Self-Love:
Discover and live by your values: Unapologetically! Some of the best advice I ever got when I was in high school (the OG Tumblr era lol) was this sentiment that I still live by: It’s important to live your life with respect and consideration for others but to never live for others. Your life is for YOU, not THEM. Remember: Self-neglect has a domino effect. You don't know how to provide others with the proper emotional space and validation until you first give it yourself.
Find what gives you energy: What activities, habits, and people in your life help you feel alive and most connected? Lean into these routines. Make it a priority to spend time with these valuable people who earned a place in your inner circle. Give yourself the gift of ease whenever possible. Life is hard enough just by virtue of existing and having to engage with society daily.
How To Build Self-Esteem:
Gain confidence in your areas of mastery: Affirm your strengths. These can be character traits, skillsets, accomplishments, etc. Any truths about your personality and achievements that you can use to hype yourself up. While being delusional has its place when setting goals, I’ve found it easier to internalize naturally healthy levels of confidence and self-esteem when I can back it up with facts or experiences grounded in reality.
Perceive your past mistakes as life lessons: Understand that every decision can serve as a data point. Every action has a certain outcome – whether that’s positive or negative. Seek to understand how your behavior, actions, and reactions shaped either outcome. Lean into the patterns that created positive results and adjust those that led to negative results when encountering similar situations in the future.
Release the desire for revenge: Stop giving away your power to others. Stay in your own lane, unbothered. The ultimate revenge is personal success and fulfillment.
Acknowledge what’s outside of your control: Don’t internalize outcomes that occurred due to external factors outside of your control. Other people’s actions, reactions, mannerisms, criticisms, and praise are most often (if not always) a reflection of how they perceive themselves. Detach yourself from the outcome or approval of others. Once you gain an understanding of yourself, your values, how you want to show up in the world, and ways to feel secure in your own skin, it's easier to stay objective when dealing with a high-stakes situation, conversation, or conflict. Once you cultivate a sense of self-respect and integrity, you can be objective and have the energy to listen to and validate others as needed.
Focus on your goals and priorities: Remain laser focused on achieving your career, personal growth, health, relational, and other life goals. Make your fundamental habits and most valuable relationships in your life your utmost priority. Everything else is an outside indulgence or distraction. Choose to give into your temptations wisely. Prioritize your life to ensure you make room for pleasure, love, abundance, and joy. You have the ability to give to others freely once you’ve already filled up your own cup.
Remember everything takes time and experience: No one has it all figured out. It’s okay if you’re not where you expected to be or desire to be at this stage of your life. Stop comparing yourself – we all have our own paths. Choose to do one small thing every day to make your life better – either a step towards reaching a goal or indulging in a deep desire. Ensure there's a healthy (not necessarily equal) balance between the two. Leave your future self better than you found your past self. Express compassion towards yourself and acknowledge that you’re doing your best. Everything starts to make considerably more sense in hindsight.
Forever faking happiness. 🙃🖤🤍
Felt confident asf in my new clothing.
Could you clearly define the difference between good-mannered/kind and people-pleasing? I don’t know how to clearly define the boundaries or principles to stick by to not end up looking stupid.
People-pleasing vs kindness & manners
Being kind is you being considerate of others feelings and circumstances through your behavior. Showing empathy and care without abandoning yourself and your needs.
People pleasing is when you break your own boundaries & compromise your well being by looking for validation through going an extra mile for others. People pleasing is not genuine care; at its core it is very selfish as you're doing these things to prove yourself to the other person and in return getting a feeling that you're worthy, wanted or needed.
If you're not quite sure if you've slipped into people-pleasing look out for these indicators:
You've canceled something important to you to help this person.
You're afraid to voice your authentic opinions in a conversation for the fear of not being liked as much.
You're helping someone but feel emotionally exhausted afterwards.
Similarly, if you struggle with the feelings of guilt after saying no to someone, even when you've had legitimate reasons it's a sign you're prioritizing their acceptance of you over your well-being.
You have a low opinion of yourself & you're quick to accept fault and apologize.
Do not worry about looking stupid, authentic care for others will always be attractive and authentic care for yourself will also always be found attractive as you're demonstrating your self-worth. You can very much respectfully decline offers or disagree while still being kind and well mannered by offering to change dates/ different solutions and empathizing. A lot of people find it difficult to change this & switch to the opposite when trying to break this pattern and become unintentionally passive aggressive because of the fear of rejection and end up coming accross very stoic and cold when saying no.
The healthy way will always include validating the other person's struggles while still holding your own needs as the top priority assertively.♡
The furry commission.
write that book. publish that blog. apply for that job. dye your hair. cut your bangs. pick up that hobby that you’ve always wanted to try. wear that outfit that you loved but were too afraid to put on in public. life is way too short. be whoever you want to be, and do whatever you want. stop waiting for the right moment, because there will never be one. sometimes you just gotta say fuck it, and do it! live your life the way you want, and don’t ask for anyone’s approval.
How to be confident
Confidence can get you incredibly far in life and make everything a lot easier; I consider myself a really confident person, so here are a few tips that might help you get there! <3
Eliminate toxic people. I don't care if it's your best friend, boyfriend, or mom; if they are stopping you from being the best version of yourself, it's time to say goodbye.
Fix your posture! Confident people have good fucking posture, and sweety, I just know your posture is not it rn, so please straighten that back.
Do what makes you happy. Who cares what people have to say about it? If it's good for you, do it.
Tell yourself you're that girl. Nobody will believe it if you don't do it, so hype yourself up!
Practice eye contact. I can just tell someone is confident if they can look me in the eyes while having a conversation. It seems much harder than it actually is; pick one of their eyes and just focus on it while you talk.
Speak with tone and expression. Talking in a quiet and monotone manner doesn't necessarily make you look insecure, but talking with expression just sounds more confident.
Make your hand visible. When you hide your hands, it makes you look insecure and uncomfortable.
Mind your own business. This one is really simple; I don't think I have to explain, lmao.
Don't tell people your insecurities because 99% of the time, they didn't notice them before you pointed them out.
Accept compliments. If someone says you look good, don't be like, "oh nooo, I look AWFUL" just say thank you and accept the compliment :)
Stop over-apologizing. Only say it if you actually did something bad or feel sorry.
Visualize the person you want to be. It's pretty simple, think about who you want to be, then think about how that person acts, their routine, how they talk, etc., and slowly start adapting those habits.
Don't be nervous to ask for help. Instead, change your mindset; people want to help you!
Authenticity radiates, be true to yourself, and you will attract good people like a magnet.
No one is out of your league if you act like it. This entire 'league' thing is made up, so don't put yourself in a box.
Trust yourself. You have a bad feeling; you know it and act on it. If you feel like something is not right, it's probably not. Trust yourself.
Stay calm under pressure. It's crucial to not freak out under pressure; even if you do, try acting as if everything is under control.
When entering a room, don't be on your phone. Look around, introduce yourself, greet people, etc.
smile more :)
walk like you know where you're going, even if you don't lol.
Live for yourself. Constantly work on not caring what other people think. If you like it, you post it. If you want to go there, go. If you like that outfit, wear it. Make decisions for yourself, not for others to validate you. It's your world, and every decision you make is because you want to make it yourself!
✩‧₊*:・love ya ･:*₊‧✩
your new addiction ✨
do you need confidence? start applying these tips in your life ✨
never apologize for being too confident
put yourself first
nobody really has everything figured out, so stop worrying
it's not a competition, it's your life!
living inside our comfort zone holds you back from so much potential
you don't need everyone to like you and you don't need to prove yourself to anyone
fake it till you make it
look good, feel good
you're going to be criticized, no matter what you do, so do it anyways
I CAN DO ANYTHING
Seize the day and get creative by downloading this art to color in yourself here.
🎨 Exclusive art by Tumblr Creatr Lunares.
and here you are, in spite of all of it. in spite of every single thing that has happened to you-here you are, living.
you have made it and you will continue to make it.
using the 2H to boost your confidence
the 2H in astrology controls our perception of value, and this is true not only in material things but spiritually- more specifically, our self value. we can look at the placements here to determine what we base our self value on, and how we can use these placements to improve our self value or confidence. this post will be focused on the cusps of the 2H, but pay attention to any planets, asteroids, etc. also <3
Aries 2H: your value will come from self sufficiency. learning how to become independent physically, financially, and emotionally and learning to embrace this will give you a huge sense of empowerment. if you become too dependent on someone or something, your confidence will suffer for it and in turn make you feel insignificant. maintaining your sense of independence and embodying it every day will greatly improve and maintain your confidence.
ex: -spending more time with yourself, -learning to do things you usually need help with, -providing for yourself
Taurus 2H: your value will come from security. if you are ever in a situation where things are rocky, whether physically, financially, or emotionally, your confidence will greatly suffer for it. learning how to create a stable, safe environment for you to be in will improve and maintain your confidence level. it will also be important to learn how to cope with change and instability, since it is a natural part of life.
ex: -prioritizing your basic needs, -not doing anything that threatens your values/morals, -learning how to address change
Gemini 2H: your value will come from connections. making bonds with everyone in your life from friends and siblings to peers and mentors will greatly improve your confidence. it will be important for you to learn the most efficient way for you to communicate with others because if you deal with a lot of tension or misunderstandings socially, your confidence will suffer for it. learning to navigate the world and climb the social ladder will help tremendously.
ex: -branching out/networking more, -learning your communication style and enabling it, -figuring out how to make society work for you
Cancer 2H: your value will come from comfortability. finding a place or people to call home and embracing this home will be the best thing for your confidence. even if you don't realize you feel lonely, not having these important connections in your life will lower your confidence. you need to feel safe financially with a good home, physically in an ideal location, and emotionally with fulfilling, caring people around you.
ex: -prioritizing your loved ones, -creating a sacred safe place for yourself, -giving great care to your emotional needs
Leo 2H: your value will come from creativity. self expression is the key to your esteem and how you view yourself. if you feel as though you can't be yourself freely, your confidence will suffer for it. put yourself in environments and around people who let you express candidly. participating in any arts will help you do this and in turn raise your confidence greatly.
ex: -creating something new, -learning the best ways for you to express yourself, -getting rid of limiting people or thoughts
Virgo 2H: your value will come from satisfaction. completing tasks or projects that will benefit you or others will bring you a great deal of fulfillment and therefore raise your confidence. learning boundaries is important for you, though, because although your esteem is dependent on your service to others, if you commit to too much and become burnt out, your confidence will suffer because of it. balancing serving others while also serving yourself will be the most efficient way to raise your confidence level.
ex: -completing acts of service for yourself or for others, -establishing healthy boundaries, -knowing and taking into account your limits
Libra 2H: your value will come from others. forming intimate bonds with special people in your life and relishing in them will give you a much deeper sense of confidence. a lot of people believe "you have to love yourself before you can love others" but the almost opposite is true for you. learning to love and appreciate the close people in your life will give you a better ability to love and appreciate yourself more.
ex: -forming sacred bonds with the people you love, -learning about others, -appreciating the beauty in people and world around you
Scorpio 2H: your value will come from intimacy. developing an affinity for everything and everyone in your life will help you to raise your esteem. not connecting with the world around you can leave you feeling insignificant. establishing your place in the world and connection with it will greatly improve your confidence.
ex: -appreciating nature, -studying and contemplating philosophy, -become more emotionally intimate with humanity
Sagittarius 2H: your value will come from exploration. denying yourself the ability to investigate yourself and the world around you will only diminish your confidence level. you thrive on learning and your esteem will be dependent upon the experiences you acquire in these interactions in the world.
ex: -traveling especially to foreign countries, -learning and appreciating different people and cultures, -trying something new
Capricorn 2H: your value will come from dedication. committing to yourself or to something in your life will raise your confidence. knowing the incredible devotion and work you have presented will give you a great sense of achievement. not devoting yourself will leave you feeling useless and your confidence will suffer for it.
ex: -finding and going after your passions, -going the extra mile for yourself, -completing tasks you don't feel like doing
Aquarius 2H: your value will come from freedom. feeling trapped whether it's financially, physically, or emotionally will negatively impact your confidence severely. learning how to have flexibility in these areas and implementing it in your life will improve your self esteem greatly.
ex: -setting healthy boundaries, -working hard to give yourself the freedom you need, -not putting yourself in confining environments
Pisces 2H: your value will come from romanticism. cascading through life with the viewpoint of the rest of the world will leave you feeling insignificant. you need to learn to enjoy life in your own way and on your own terms, and in turn it will give you a confidence boost. become a rarity by just being undoubtedly yourself.
ex: -romanticizing your day to day life, -not lettings others have control over you, -following your own path
Keep your successes and self-indulgent stories close to your chest. Make moving in silence your muse. Nothing is more seductive than a woman who owns her privilege to privacy. This mysterious, magnetic allure provides you the freedom to do as you please.