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#quarter life crisis
femmefatalevibe · 7 months
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25 Life Lessons I've Learned In 25 Years
In honor of turning 25 this month, here are some lessons I wish someone could've baked into my brain by 18. Hope this helps xx
Putting yourself first is not selfish, it is an act of self-care. Actively discounting others is not the same as protecting your peace.
Pay attention to who gossips and keeps to themselves amidst an interpersonal conflict. Insecure people or those in the wrong will speak the loudest and go on the longest in a fight to prove their innocence. Individuals who are self-assured and comfortable with the truth know it's better to communicate their feelings appropriately and then move past it. Confidence is assertive, tactful, and relatively silent.
If you want to know who to believe in an argument, pay attention to how both sides speak about the conflict. The perpetrator will often speak about the individuals' character/morality while the victim will explain their personal experience in the context of the relevant situation.
Display empathy and consideration, but don't live to satisfy others' emotional needs and expectations. Say farewell to anyone who dismisses or guilts you for your own needs, emotions, priorities/life goals & aspirations.
Your needs matter. No one needs to approve or validate your desires. If someone feels they have control over you or tries to persuade you to change your mind to ensure you put their emotions and needs first, cut them out of your life. They do not care about you.
Almost no one deserves insider access into your life and mind. Upholding your right to privacy – especially regarding your finances, dating life, health conditions/concerns, and long-term goals – is the simplest way to protect your peace.
A friend to all is a friend to none. Be wary of those who will not stand up for you behind closed doors. These people do not care about you, they care about what your place in their life does for them and their ego.
Be radically honest and accepting of who you are. Don't apologize for your preferences, aspirations, and values. You deserve to live in a way that makes you happy, not to appease others in hopes of their approval or future favors due to your karmic good deeds.
You deserve happiness, love, and nice things, life experiences, relationships, and opportunities in your life regardless of what others may or may not possess/ be able to experience. Dispel this scarcity mindset ASAP. Jealousy and internalized shame are destructive to your self-esteem and all your relationships.
You are worthy and offer many incredible, unique gifts to the world. Don't allow naysayers, critics, or bullies (of any age) to dim your light or sacrifice pursuing your dreams. Decide you're the leader of your own life. Then act accordingly.
Direct communication is always the way. Remain tactful, but at least when dealing with non-manipulative people, always say what you mean and mean what you say. It will save a lot of trouble and petty disagreements that could've been avoided with clearer communication.
You don't owe anyone an explanation for your feelings, emotions, and actions that don't have a direct, inescapable impact on someone else. "No" is a complete sentence.
Approach conversations as a meeting of the minds. Healthy debate or conflict is about seeking to understand the other person, not prove yourself right. Leaving your ego at the door will allow you to expand your mind and avoid many unnecessary conflicts or arguments.
If it's not a hell yes, it's a no. For a job, date, sex, attendance at a time-sucking social event, family gatherings, an informal meeting not essential for you to keep your job, a wedding, birthday party, holiday invitation, etc. Outside of your contracted hours and time necessary to keep yourself/your home clean & well-maintained, you should spend your time exactly as you please. Doing things you don't want to do will only breed resentment down the line toward yourself and others.
Detangle yourself from any who refuses to self-reflect and take accountability. This person is selfish and will never see you as fully human with emotions, needs, and a complete life/internal world of your own. Cut them out (or at least fully emotionally detach and limit contact with them) immediately.
Speak your truth, but always say a little less than you feel necessary. Overexplaning and oversharing do you no favors. At a minimum, this approach allows you to protect your peace. In the worst circumstances, this tactic can also save you from a lot of trouble in your personal or professional life.
Learn to ask for a little more than you're comfortable with, but do so with grace, tact, and confidence. Whether it's a salary/rate negotiation, flight/hotel/restaurant accommodations, get in the habit of making that slightly higher/up-leveled request like you're expecting a "yes." You can't get something you don't ask for, so speak up and show you know your worth. This habit can bring a lot of great opportunity into your life and builds up your confidence.
Everyone is on their own timeline and path. Don't compare yourself to others' credentials, job titles, relationship status, net worths, or jean sizes. Comparison is truly the thief of joy. Remaining envious of others only takes up the energy that could otherwise be used to elevate or enrich your life.
Become clear on your priorities, and remain diligent with your habits & routines. Set SMART goals. Implement healthy habits and rituals into your daily lifestyle. Be consistent with goal-supporting and wellness rituals (generous sleep schedule, healthful eating habits, daily movement/regular exercise, reading, task time-blocking, cleaning, and life/work admin schedule), so they become second nature. Help yourself by creating these default habits to ensure your brain is wired for success whether you're in an easygoing era or a stressful life season.
Stop seeing other people (especially other women) as your competition in your profession/dating life and within your platonic relationships. Use your immediate criticisms as a tool for self-reflection. Actively deconstruct the patriarchy in every aspect of your life. Other women coworkers, dating prospects, and friends are not your rivals nor individuals who should be evaluated based on their assertiveness, sexual history/appeal, relationship status, or desire to perform traditional maternal/domestic roles.
Understanding how to interact with others in a cordial, tactful manner is significantly more important than having everyone like you. Learn how to positively influence people without seeking approval. What other people think of us is none of our business. All we can do is show up as the best version of ourselves, and remain optimistic about a potential connection.
Acceptance, accountability, and consistent discipline are the holy trinity to creating a sustainable change that you can maintain for the long haul. There's no shame in starting from the bottom, but you need to be honest about where you're at, so you can create a realistic game plan/small behavior-changing habits that stack up over time to help you implement the radical change you're craving.
Let go of any internalized shame. Being the "good girl" does you no favors in life. Set a standard and expectation to be respected, not to be perceived as "innocent" or submissive – this is how you get taken advantage of in professional, platonic, and intimate relationships. Remain ravenous for respect. It's the only way to live life to the fullest.
24. Investing in your appearance is a form of self-respect. Wanting to look & feel your best and present yourself in the best light possible to others is not a superficial pursuit. Remain unwavering about your hygiene/beauty/grooming routines, deliberate styling choices, healthy eating & workout habits, and mindfulness of social graces. You're your #1 publicist, so act like it. Life is all about embracing satisfaction with a sprinkle of reputation management.
25. Be unapologetic about your financial ambitions, priorities, investments, savings goals, etc. Financial freedom IS freedom. The only way to change the system is to break it from the inside out. Leverage is everything. Allocate, and assert your (financial) power wisely.
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thepeacefulgarden · 1 year
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If you're an adult...
You are allowed to read comic books. You are allowed to write fanfiction. You are allowed to play video games. You are allowed to collect stuffed animals, dolls, Funko Pops and whatever else. You are allowed to go to cons. You are allowed to cosplay. You are allowed to have a comfort show, even if it's not popular, or hasn't been "on the air" for decades. You are allowed to have anime crushes. You are allowed to have fun. You are allowed to pursue hobbies, even if you can't monetize them or turn them into a career or a "side hustle." You are allowed to take time out for yourself; that's not the same as totally neglecting all your responsibilities to their detriment. You are allowed to write your own life script, instead of following the one your parents and culture mapped out for you at birth. You are allowed to decide you don't want to have children, or don't want to get married. (Or that you'd like to do those things someday, but not today.) You are allowed to go at your own pace, on your own path. You're allowed to have a life that's not all bills and back pain, fatigue and drudgery. You are allowed to play, as well as work.
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when an album gets to the song thats name is just a 2 digit number you know shits about to get real
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retroness-is-fabulous · 11 months
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paniniqueen · 1 year
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Just a tired old cliche…
I’m 23 years old and just waking up to the fact that I will never achieve what I thought I would. The person I am now is so vastly different from that smart and talented 16 year old with so much potential.
tumblr user @raenprabhaker // tumblr user @ritikajyala //Alias, Regret // Taylor Swift, “this is me trying” // Comment by Pinterest user Inatoli // Taylor Bickett, “Quarter Life Crisis” // Taylor Swift, “right where you left me” // my notes app diary // tumblr user @jb-blunk // Alias, Regret // Taylor Bickett, “Quarter Life Crisis” // tumblr user @ritikajyala
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heymacy · 2 months
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Arabella Latham aka BABY QUEEN ╰┈➤ "For people that are part of the LGBTQ+ community, it’s so important for us to be around each other. People who are open about their sexuality are so brave. I used to be so scared of it. I wasn’t there yet. It’s a journey that people have been able to go on with me." (x)
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I'm having a quarter life crisis unpacking comp het. I Know I'm asexual and nonbinary. But I don't even know what romantic attraction is?! Where is the line between romance and platonic love? I want to cuddle, to feel close to another being, to watch sunrises but not "because that's what you're supposed to do" but because sunrises are calm and peaceful & I want to share that moment with someone or several someone's, to sit in silence and be without any expectations ruining it. I hate dating it feels so limiting and disingenuous with high expectations. My friendships are more fulfilling because I've only ever experienced dating as putting on a performance. I can not watch a Nicholas Sparks film without rolling my eyes or feeling insanely uncomfortable. I want to live in a house overflowing with love. The only crushes I've had have been on people who understood me, like 2 people ever, a trans boy and femme presenting girl. What am i?! Am I aromantic? Am I pansexual or panromantic?
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Cause with my mid-youth crisis all said and done I need to be youthfully felt 'cause, God, I never felt young. -Hozier
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dax9616 · 8 months
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‘...plus we were kind of going through a quarter-life crisis thing. You know you meet your heroes, and then your like, "What have I done with my life?"’
As someone in their late 20's I find this extremely relatable!
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1-up-shroom · 3 months
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#quarterlifecrisis
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People calling it a "quarter life crisis" forget that with the way life expectancy, healthcare, and food nutrient content is going these days it's probably a "third life crisis" at best.
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mayakern · 1 year
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drew the second one at 30 tho
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thepeacefulgarden · 9 months
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beingthisgayisart · 4 months
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Too young to have a quarter life crisis
Too old to be this childish
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femmefatalevibe · 3 months
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Hey! I turned 26 this November 19th and I haven't been able to enjoy a day after that. I've so far not achieved what I wanted in life though I am doing good (its not like I'm unemployed etc). I just fear leading a very ordinary life, fear not achieving satisfaction in anything I do and feel I will just keeping working and living to survive and not to live. Also I just feel like I am not good enough and whatever I plan to achieve in the future will give me mediocre results like in the past. Help me navigate through this please! I try to follow the many things you put up on your feed, but that too is so difficult for me. :(
Hi love! Happy belated birthday! <333
Well, I'm not a licensed therapist or anything like that, so my advice mid-20-something to mid-20-something here.
I believe this is a VERY normal fear for everyone in our age group (including myself). The advice I'm sharing is what I tell myself every day, so I hope it's helpful! x
Remember you're still young and laying the foundation for your life. As long as you have the basics covered (job, food, a safe place to live, healthcare, etc.), you're doing just fine.
Once these essentials are covered, it's important to create the time/space you have left in your life to figure out what you enjoy and find ways to incorporate these simple joys into your life.
Set "selfish" goals that you create purely to make you happy. What small things can you do to move the needle a bit this week, month, quarter, etc.?
Consider what you can do differently with the information you have now from past experiences to help you get the results you desire. Sounds simple but fewer people than you realize reflect like this.
Bisous xx
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rismaisnayah · 6 months
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Selamat Datang Quarter Life Crisis
Oh beginikah rasanya di fase QLC ? Nano nano ngga jelas mana rasa yang dominan. Semua bercampur aduk asin, manis, pahit, pedas, hambar. Semua hal terasa menumpuk di pikiran, gonjang ganjing masalah pekerjaan, tak jarang dan bahkan keseringan membandingkan diri dengan orang lain, merasa tidak bisa apa apa, pertemanan yang terasa tak sesehat dulu (barangkali sedang masanya seleksi circle pertemanan saja, tapi kitanya tidak sadar).
Ditambah lagi merasa belum bisa membahagiakan keluarga terutama orang tua, belum menemukan jodoh yang tepat disamping teman2 sebaya atau dibawah kita sudah pada menimang anak dan masalah-masalah lain yang dirasakan sampai di level berulangkali diri mempertanyakan apa sebenarnya tujuan hidupku ? Apa yang sebenarnya kucari ?.
Kerungsingan kerungsingan itu akan sampai di fase ketika usia kita mendekati atau mencapai quarter. Hello selamat datang quarter life crisis!! Masa masa yang hampir pasti dialami semua orang pada usia ini. Menjadi ujian pertama pendewasaan diri jika sebelumnya kita pusing dengan pencarian jati diri. Fase yang begitu memusingkan bahkan sampai stressful dan tak jarang sampai mengganggu kesehatan mental.
Mencari solusi atas apa yang saat ini dialami biasanya adalah hal yang pertama kali dilakukan. Padahal barangkali, tidak semua masalah perlu dicari solusinya. Ada hal hal yang hanya perlu dijalani saja. Ibaratnya kita tidak tau sampai dimana ujungnya tapi kita tetap terus melangkah menyusuri setapak demi setapak untuk sampai kesana.
Penerimaan diri terhadap apa yang saat ini dijalani mungkin adalah solusi terbaik. Terima bahwa kita sedang stres, marah, bingung, pusing, sedih, dan sedang tidak jelas rasa yang paling dominan yang mana. Ibarat bubur, rasa rasa itu masuk ke tim bubur diaduk jadi satu dan tidak terlihat komponen mana yang memberikan rasa terkuat. Its okay tak apa, terima bahwa kamu sedang dalam kondisi ini dan yakini bahwa sebentar lagi kamu akan baik baik saja.
Support kepusingan itu dengan banyak banyak mendekat kepadaNya. Ceritakan bahwa saat ini diri sedang dalam kondisi tidak baik baik saja dan minta agar dikuatkan hati, jiwa dan perasaan selama menghadapi proses ini. Satu prinsip yang perlu kuat kuat dipegang adalah yakin bahwa Allah tidak akan pernah menempatkan kita pada ujian yang kita tidak mampu untuk menghadapinya. Fase ini adalah fase yang bahkan Allah tidak pernah ragu bahwa kita sanggup melewati prosesnya.
Dan satu prinsip lagi yang perlu diilmui pada fase ini adalah kesadaran bahwa begitu banyak pelajaran yang kita dapatkan yang barangkali menjadi bekal kita untuk menghadapi tempaan hidup ke depan. Ingat satu hal ini dan camkan ke diri, Allah menempatkan kita pada fase ini tentu untuk suatu kebaikan. Yang saat ini barangkali kita belum tau maksudnya, dan Allah tidak akan pernah sedikitpun menyakiti hambaNya.
Its okay tepuk tepuk pundakmu dan katakan "kamu pasti bisa bertahan ada Allah sebagai sandaran". Hai diri, sekali lagi kukatakan selamat datang di fase mencintai diri sendiri :)
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