femmefatalevibe - Tumblr blog

femmefatalevibe · 4 months

Note

Best winter boots? Budget friendly and high end

Circus by Sam Edelman! These boots are my favorites from their recent collection. For more waterproof/snow boots, I would say check out Sorel or Moon Boot on sale. They're a little more pricey, but great quality.

Hope this helps xx

#femmefatalevibe #fashion trends #personal style #winter outfits #fashion advice #wardrobe staples #footwear fashion #product recommendations #style advice #style tips #style inspiration #wardrobe design #winter wardrobe #q/a

34 notes · View notes

femmefatalevibe · 4 months

Note

Hi dear! Much love as always~

My best friend and I are doing our 2024 planning and aspirations together so we can hold each other accountable during the year.

We were wondering if you have any suggestions on things to focus on that can help each of us improve as a person. It’s alright if they’re very generic. I mostly just want to know your opinion and advice. ❤️

Hi love! Thank you so much for this kind note––I'm flattered and love the purpose behind this message <3

As a starting point, I think it's great to set 1-3 goals in major categories of life:

Career

Finances

Physical Health

Emotional Health

Relationships (platonic/romantic +sexual)

Self-care

Hobbies

Self Improvement

Joy & Pleasure/Leisure

Hope this helps xx

#femmefatalevibe #2024 goals #goal setting #new year 2024 #new year resolutions #happy new year #life advice #glow up journey #personal growth #personal development #dream life #q/a

101 notes · View notes

femmefatalevibe · 4 months

Note

do u condone women cheating?

Never. Cheating is deception and a major sign of disrespect. If you both agree to keep it casual or an open relationship, that's perfectly acceptable and your business. If you don't 100% desire to commit to this person, don't lie to them to get your cake and eat it too. There are plenty of people in this world; no one deserves this type of treatment.

#femmefatalevibe #q/a

54 notes · View notes

femmefatalevibe · 4 months

Note

would u ever be in a monogamous relationship with 1 person for the rest of ur life?

I highly doubt it, but you can't predict the future!

#femmefatalevibe #q/a

7 notes · View notes

femmefatalevibe · 4 months

Note

Are you on bluesky

No, I barely know what this platform is lol. Are a lot of you on here?

#femmefatalevibe #q/a

5 notes · View notes

femmefatalevibe · 4 months

Note

I’m 24 and never been in a relationship, just one situationship, don’t sleep around or date a whole lot...people say a lot that I’m “sheltered” or don’t get it when they talk about their relationship problems which may be true but also understand what’s going on and wouldn’t put up with the things they’re going through in the relationship (cheating, mistreatment,etc) and how it’s hard for them to leave...to me, I would rather he sheltered then put through all that? But also do have some insecurity about never having a bf and just dating in general because it scares me to be honest (growing up with narcissistic dad, my parents relationship wasn’t great) but it does bother me that they say that about me, should it?

Hi love!

I'm sorry that social pressures and life scripts are causing you anxiety. Personally, I believe dating and relationships are completely optional––it should be something you want to participate in, it's not a requirement. Anyone who's that invested in your dating life needs to get there themselves or break off their unfulfilling relationship to stop projecting, honestly. Their opinion of your personal life is not your problem.

So, the most important question here is: Do you feel pressure to date despite having no desire for a partner or sexual intimacy, or is it fear from traumatic formative relationships that'scausing you to avoid dating/relationships?

If it's the former, keep living your life and pursue your other interests & goals. Letting social pressure dictate big life decisions is a fast-track way to become resentful and regretful in the not-so-distant future.

For the latter, see if your friends would be open to setting you up on low-key dates (coffee, walking around a museum, mini golf, park date, etc.) with friends of friends who they think could be someone you vibe with. If there's no chemistry, you might've made a new friend. If there's chemistry, see how it goes, and don't rigidly define/overthink every step of the journey.

Hope this helps xx

#femmefatalevibe #dating and relationships #dating advice #dating tips #interpersonal relationships #first date #dating #self care #self concept #self confidence #love and romance #life path #life lessons #q/a

27 notes · View notes

femmefatalevibe · 4 months

Note

what are your goals for 2024?

Go to bed earlier and minimize bedtime procrastination

Regain discipline over my exercise/movement routine

Become more regimental/committal with my self-care appointments

Take French classes and go up 1-2 levels before 2025

Learn the basics of graphic design

Take on more leadership initiatives at my job

Be more consistent/prioritize initiating social plans

Allow myself to relax and remember it's okay to not always be doing something/be productive

#femmefatalevibe #new year #2024 goals #goal setting #self concept #glow up journey #q/a

129 notes · View notes

femmefatalevibe · 4 months

Note

Hi Femme! I'm someone in my early 20s preparing to job-hunt. I want to ask for your thoughts... are 3 months worth of one undergrad internship worth it to head straight into entry-level jobs? It's been a dilemma of preparedness that I've been mulling over lately :') thank you if answered, and have a good day ahead

Hi love!

Yes, I believe an entry-level job should be entry-level. Share how your relevant internship/academic and extracurricular experiences have helped you acquire XYZ skillsets (hard and soft skills) and how these skills will make you a value-add if hired for XYZ role.

Also, don't underestimate the importance of showing your enthusiasm for the role, company, team, industry, and all company-related goals. Passion, adaptability, and a desire to learn/implement new skills/knowledge right away at this stage of your career can help tremendously.

Best of luck, and hope this helps xx

#femmefatalevibe #career path #career advice #entry level #job hunting #job opportunities #job search #life in your 20s #life tips #work life

15 notes · View notes

femmefatalevibe · 4 months

Note

What are some budget winter wardrobe staples?

Uniqlo HEATTECH Shirts/Tights

Express Contour Tops/Tailored Trousers

Everlane Supima Shirts

Naadam Cashmere Sweaters

GAP Button-Down Shirts/Knitwear/Jeans

Banana Republic Knitwear & Trousers, Blazers & Coats/Jackets

Everything Frankie Shop/Pixie Market/Massimo Dutti

Manière de Voir for trendy/going out clothes

Vagabond boots/footwear

Marcella NYC & JW Pei handbags

Catbird & Justine Clenquet jewelry

Hope this helps xx

#fashion advice #wardrobe staples #capsule wardrobe #winter outfits #winter wear #winter aesthetic #fashion #style advice #style tips #style guide #style inspiration #style inspo #femmefatalevibe #personal style #q/a

123 notes · View notes

femmefatalevibe · 4 months

Note

been following this blog for days and i’ve been finding it to helpful, i’ve been struggling a lot with self image and this blog has been doing wonders! i have a more alternative style, and one i deeply enjoy, so i was wondering if you had any tips on being your best self while also staying true to your personal identity?

Thanks so much, love! I'm glad to hear this <33

I believe that it is essential to remain true to your personal identity to become the best version of yourself. For example, if you're a dessert lover but want to stay healthy, find a way to incorporate this joy into your overall lifestyle (such as a dedicated little dessert every night/after meals). It is at the crux of being your best self.

With your example, on an everyday basis, I don't see why wanting to rock an alternative style would ever not help you feel like your best self. However, in certain professional situations, I can see why you might want to make certain adjustments to advance your career. In those cases, I would say to consider how you can add small alternative details to a more buttoned-up wardrobe so you can feel true to yourself while staying on track to reach your professional goals.

Hope this helps xx

#personal style #personal branding #self care #self concept #glow up #goal setting #dream life #femmefatalevibe #q/a

11 notes · View notes

femmefatalevibe · 4 months

Note

Hello! I just wanted to start by saying I love Your profile! Do You think I still have a chance at hypergamy if I dress more "alternatively"? Nothing too crazy, but a bit in a 2000s style like low-rise jeans, crop tops etc or should I let it go and dress more elegantly? I don't have a crazy hair color or piercings, it's just about the clothes. Thank You so much for answering in advance!! <3

Hi love! Thank you so much <3

I believe the quality of your relationships––romantic and otherwise––depends largely on how you carry yourself, behave, and respect yourself, whatever that means for you. It's less about what you say, more about how you say it.

Hope this helps xx

#self confidence #self care #self concept #personal branding #personal style #femmefatalevibe

6 notes · View notes

femmefatalevibe · 4 months

Text

Femme Fatale Guide: How To Manage & Overcome Fear

Ultimately, fear is born out of anxiety over some sort of distrust –whether it's grounded in logic, emotion, perception, past experiences, etc.

Fear arises from an unknown – any new experience, opportunity, failure, relationship, changes in habits/routines, etc. So, ultimately, this fear is your way of coping with not distrusting others to do what you expect or desire and/or not trusting yourself to be able to cope with a certain environment, habit, responsibilities, changes, interpersonal conflict, etc.

To depersonalize fear, recognize that it's an anxious/emotional response to either a reasonable or illogical unknown/uncertainty. Then, I see what my realistic options are on how to handle the situation and proceed with my following actions by answering these questions:

Looking back at this moment in a year's time, what do I wish I would've done?

What red or green flags are my anxieties discounting or telling me to overlook?

How many of my concerns are grounded in reality, and how many are based on assumptions or negative self-talk?

If a friend was handling this situation, how would I proceed?

Once you answer these questions, you're forcing yourself to take the emotions out of the situation and see all of the key players + moving parts more objectively to make a rational decision.

You have to calculate the best possible outcome for yourself, but ultimately, the goal of overcoming fear is to stop holding yourself back from what you want and live without regrets.

547 notes · View notes

femmefatalevibe · 4 months

Text

Femme Fatale Guide: Top "Glow Up" Tips & Habits To Become The Best Version of Yourself

Prioritize the Holy Trinity: Nutrition, Movement, & Sleep. Following a whole-foods, plant-based diet with vegetables and/or fruit at every meal and limiting processed foods is one of the simplest ways to improve your overall health. Drink plenty of water, have any necessary supplements (like vitamin B12, vitamin D, omega 3s, etc.), and reduce your consumption of sugary, alcoholic, or caffeine-loaded beverages. Try to incorporate at least 30 minutes of walking and/or a simple 15-20 workout into your everyday routine. Make getting a full night's rest (usually 7-9 hours for most people) a non-negotiable in your life.

Practice Radical Self-Acceptance. Fully embrace your personal values. Get comfortable with your authentic desires. Define and set goals for yourself in every area of your life.

Nourish Your Body, Mind, and Spirit Consistently. Eat a healthful diet (enough food without overstuffing yourself), sleep and move enough throughout the day, and continue learning and educating yourself on current events, your industry/career field, art, culture, history, world languages, etc. Practice mindfulness and self-care activities. Honoring your sexual needs. Giving yourself at least one rest/reset day per week.

Cultivate Sustainable (and Personally-Fulfilling) Routines. Your sleep schedule, work/school schedule, workout schedule throughout the week, social and self-care time, date nights, time for your hobbies, errands, cleaning, and relaxation. Make appointments with yourself to empower you to fulfill all your daily tasks and activities to ensure you can work and play without burning yourself out in the process.

Set Boundaries. With your friends, family, work-life/professional network, romantic and sexual partners, and yourself. Understand your emotional, physical, and energetic limitations. Communicate them clearly, compassionately, and unapologetically. Cut toxic people out of your life. Avoid codependency like the plague. Nurture your healthy and supportive interdependent relationships regularly.

Learn What You Enjoy. Ensure To Incorporate These Products, Routines, and Relationships Into Your Day. It can be a piece of dark chocolate and a favorite T.V. show, a long evening phone call with a loved one, a hot bubble bath, or any other small luxury that gives you genuine pleasure and adds some necessary joy to your day.

Check In With Yourself Regularly. Pivot When Necessary. Self-improvement, goal setting, relationship building, and cultivating unshakeable self-love/life satisfaction takes time, experimentation, trial and error, and tons of self-reflection before you get it right in any area of your life. Be honest with yourself on what's work, what's not, where to remain consistent, and what areas of your life would benefit from a change.

2K notes · View notes

femmefatalevibe · 4 months

Text

Femme Fatale Guide: Pleasure-Centric Sex Ed. Facts Every Woman Should Know

Some basic sex education: Decentralized from men and heteronormative perceptions of sexual pleasure.

Important for everyone AFAB with any sexual orientation: heterosexual, bisexual, lesbian, asexual, trans, non-binary, etc. Here are some ways to reclaim your sexuality from the patriarchy and heteronormative gaze.

Understand your anatomy, seriously. The clitoris is the female sex organ responsible for pleasure, not the vagina. While you may think of the bean as an isolated love button, it is actually anatomically analogous to an inverted penis and extends internally through the inside of your vaginal wall and the inner lips of your vulva. If you want to more aptly gauge your state of physical arousal, evaluate for hardness in addition to wetness (yes, it looks like a mini boner, lol).

All female (genital-induced) orgasms are clitoral orgasms. Whether they're external, internal, or both. Like its male anatomical equivalent, every clitoris has its own unique shape and size, which can be best stimulated in different ways externally and internally depending on your personal anatomy. Common pleasure zones include the external head "the clit," the "G-spot" (around 2-3 inches deep on the front of the vaginal wall), the "A-spot" (around 4-6 inches deep on the front of the vaginal wall), and anal region (stimulates clitoral legs for some AFABs).

Remember your brain is one of the most important sex organs. Sex is as (or more) mental as it is physical. According to Dr. Emily Nagoski, it is more common for AFABs to have a responsive desire style (aroused by their external environment/erotic cues that stimulate the 5 senses) versus a spontaneous desire style ("heat of the moment" sexual desire that requires minimal foreplay/build-up for pleasure and gratification).

The cervix height and density changes (and can affect how you experience sexual pleasure) throughout your cycle. If a certain position hurts sometimes and is pleasurable at others – whether alone or partnered, know this is normal. Your cervix tends to sit lower with a firmer texture from the end of your cycle and progressively raises/gets softer (thanks to rising estrogen levels) until it reaches its peak height & softness around ovulation. The cervix opens slightly during ovulation and right before/during menstruation (haven't seen a study researching the correlation between cervix opening and higher libido, but I would love to see one on this due to the correlation here for so many women). Learn what positions and techniques are most enjoyable for you during different times of the month (consider this practice as cycle syncing for your sex life).

619 notes · View notes

femmefatalevibe · 4 months

Text

Femme Fatale Guide: Mindset Shifts To Improve Your Life

Think "Practical vs. Pleasure" not "Right vs. Wrong" when evaluating your thoughts, desires, actions, and decisions. Stop moralizing your emotions, inclinations, and goals when curating your life and inner world. Shaming leads to stagnation, not self-reflection.

Design your days based on 3s. Consider the 3 most important tasks of your day that, if completed, will leave you feeling satisfied with your progress/productivity at the end of the day. Plan how and what 3 meals to incorporate into your day. Divide your day 3 parts into morning/priming, afternoon/productivity, and evening & nighttime/unwinding. Consider the 3 activities you can do/complete during these 8-hour blocks that will leave you feeling fulfilled and a step closer to your longer-time goals/overall well-being.

Consider your various needs as different buckets that require regular nourishment (physical, emotional, social, sexual, financial, and personal growth). Look beyond certain inclinations and behaviors to understand why a certain decision, action, or relationship is a value-add to your life. Many actions, goals, and relationships fall into more than one of these buckets simultaneously. If you don't sense that some practice, routine, or relationship serves any of these purposes, it's time to reevaluate why and whether it's worthwhile to keep this time & energy consumer in your life.

Perceive your life as a hub & spoke model with you as the hub and all your responsibilities, self-care activities, and relationships as the nodes. This roadmap allows you to reclaim ownership over your life and act in your own best interest. Seeing yourself as the center of a web (your personhood) helps you to organize your life while simultaneously seeing how all your interdependent relationships, responsibilities, and valued activities influence your day-to-day.

2K notes · View notes

femmefatalevibe · 4 months

Text

Femme Fatale Guide: How To Set Long-Term Goals

Consider this mind reframe when setting a long-term goal: Long-term goals are a string of short-term goals that work together to culminate in a more nuanced or lofty outcome.

In my opinion, I believe that long-term goals should be determined based on how they positively support a certain aspect of your lifestyle, rather than designed with a strict plan in mind (at least for 5-10 year goals). As we know from the past few years, our long-term plans can easily fall through due to factors out of our control.

So, with these variables in mind, I would say you need to split your long-term goals into 2 main categories:

Evergreen Goals: These goals are fairly straightforward and rely more on an input-output method to achieve them vs. many external variables or contextual success attached to them. Examples of evergreen goals would be saving for retirement or maintaining a healthy body/weight loss/getting a certain certificate training or degree (not in a specific program, but in a general field), and acquiring items like a designer bag. You're in control of whether you put a certain amount of money into an investment portfolio, how much energy you consume in a day, and how much time you spend filling out applications/studying material. While external factors play a role, the success of these goals heavily depends on your determination, consistency, and focus. You just have to play the long game vs. the short-term game to see the results you desire.

Dynamic Goals: These goals take a lot of external factors into account and can heavily rely on many different parties to ensure you succeed. These long-term goals can be to work in a certain type of position or company, graduate with a specific degree or from a specific university/program, live in your dream home, become a successful business owner/author, etc, find a specific type of partner, etc. While self-betterment paired with consistent, strategic, and focused effort play a significant (majority) factor in these goals, you still need the stars to align for these goals to actualize in the way you currently envision them in your mind.

So, when creating long-term goals (especially dynamic goals), set these 5-10-year goals with the intention to be unrelenting about the outcome and flexible about the path to achieving them. Envision the result you desire and why that would improve your life/happiness. Then, work your way backward to the smaller milestone goals you would need to achieve. Once you get to the first major "milestone" that needs to be completed, devise creative and strategic solutions to begin working on this shorter-term goal. Make your 5-year goal into a series of 5 1-year plans. Reverse engineer to embrace the endless possibilities and potential for your success.

Hope this helps xx

249 notes · View notes

femmefatalevibe · 4 months

Text

25 Life Lessons I've Learned In 25 Years

In honor of turning 25 this month, here are some lessons I wish someone could've baked into my brain by 18. Hope this helps xx

Putting yourself first is not selfish, it is an act of self-care. Actively discounting others is not the same as protecting your peace.

Pay attention to who gossips and keeps to themselves amidst an interpersonal conflict. Insecure people or those in the wrong will speak the loudest and go on the longest in a fight to prove their innocence. Individuals who are self-assured and comfortable with the truth know it's better to communicate their feelings appropriately and then move past it. Confidence is assertive, tactful, and relatively silent.

If you want to know who to believe in an argument, pay attention to how both sides speak about the conflict. The perpetrator will often speak about the individuals' character/morality while the victim will explain their personal experience in the context of the relevant situation.

Display empathy and consideration, but don't live to satisfy others' emotional needs and expectations. Say farewell to anyone who dismisses or guilts you for your own needs, emotions, priorities/life goals & aspirations.

Your needs matter. No one needs to approve or validate your desires. If someone feels they have control over you or tries to persuade you to change your mind to ensure you put their emotions and needs first, cut them out of your life. They do not care about you.

Almost no one deserves insider access into your life and mind. Upholding your right to privacy – especially regarding your finances, dating life, health conditions/concerns, and long-term goals – is the simplest way to protect your peace.

A friend to all is a friend to none. Be wary of those who will not stand up for you behind closed doors. These people do not care about you, they care about what your place in their life does for them and their ego.

Be radically honest and accepting of who you are. Don't apologize for your preferences, aspirations, and values. You deserve to live in a way that makes you happy, not to appease others in hopes of their approval or future favors due to your karmic good deeds.

You deserve happiness, love, and nice things, life experiences, relationships, and opportunities in your life regardless of what others may or may not possess/ be able to experience. Dispel this scarcity mindset ASAP. Jealousy and internalized shame are destructive to your self-esteem and all your relationships.

You are worthy and offer many incredible, unique gifts to the world. Don't allow naysayers, critics, or bullies (of any age) to dim your light or sacrifice pursuing your dreams. Decide you're the leader of your own life. Then act accordingly.

Direct communication is always the way. Remain tactful, but at least when dealing with non-manipulative people, always say what you mean and say what you mean. It will save a lot of trouble and petty disagreements that could've been avoided with clearer communication.

You don't owe anyone an explanation for your feelings, emotions, and actions that don't have a direct, inescapable impact on someone else. "No" is a complete sentence.

Approach conversations as a meeting of the minds. Healthy debate or conflict is about seeking to understand the other person, not prove yourself right. Leaving your ego at the door will allow you to expand your mind and avoid many unnecessary conflicts or arguments.

If it's not a hell yes, it's a no. For a job, date, sex, attendance at a time-sucking social event, family gatherings, an informal meeting not essential for you to keep your job, a wedding, birthday party, holiday invitation, etc. Outside of your contracted hours and time necessary to keep yourself/your home clean & well-maintained, you should spend your time exactly as you please. Doing things you don't want to do will only breed resentment down the line toward yourself and others.

Detangle yourself from any who refuses to self-reflect and take accountability. This person is selfish and will never see you as fully human with emotions, needs, and a complete life/internal world of your own. Cut them out (or at least fully emotionally detach and limit contact with them) immediately.

Speak your truth, but always say a little less than you feel necessary. Overexplaning and oversharing do you no favors. At a minimum, this approach allows you to protect your peace. In the worst circumstances, this tactic can also save you from a lot of trouble in your personal or professional life.

Learn to ask for a little more than you're comfortable with, but do so with grace, tact, and confidence. Whether it's a salary/rate negotiation, flight/hotel/restaurant accommodations, get in the habit of making that slightly higher/up-leveled request like you're expecting a "yes." You can't get something you don't ask for, so speak up and show you know your worth. This habit can bring a lot of great opportunity into your life and builds up your confidence.

Everyone is on their own timeline and path. Don't compare yourself to others' credentials, job titles, relationship status, net worths, or jean sizes. Comparison is truly the thief of joy. Remaining envious of others only takes up the energy that could otherwise be used to elevate or enrich your life.

Become clear on your priorities, and remain diligent with your habits & routines. Set SMART goals. Implement healthy habits and rituals into your daily lifestyle. Be consistent with goal-supporting and wellness rituals (generous sleep schedule, healthful eating habits, daily movement/regular exercise, reading, task time-blocking, cleaning, and life/work admin schedule), so they become second nature. Help yourself by creating these default habits to ensure your brain is wired for success whether you're in an easygoing era or a stressful life season.

Stop seeing other people (especially other women) as your competition in your profession/dating life and within your platonic relationships. Use your immediate criticisms as a tool for self-reflection. Actively deconstruct the patriarchy in every aspect of your life. Other women coworkers, dating prospects, and friends are not your rivals nor individuals who should be evaluated based on their assertiveness, sexual history/appeal, relationship status, or desire to perform traditional maternal/domestic roles.

Understanding how to interact with others in a cordial, tactful manner is significantly more important than having everyone like you. Learn how to positively influence people without seeking approval. What other people think of us is none of our business. All we can do is show up as the best version of ourselves, and remain optimistic about a potential connection.

Acceptance, accountability, and consistent discipline are the holy trinity to creating a sustainable change that you can maintain for the long haul. There's no shame in starting from the bottom, but you need to be honest about where you're at, so you can create a realistic game plan/small behavior-changing habits that stack up over time to help you implement the radical change you're craving.

Let go of any internalized shame. Being the "good girl" does you no favors in life. Set a standard and expectation to be respected, not to be perceived as "innocent" or submissive – this is how you get taken advantage of in professional, platonic, and intimate relationships. Remain ravenous for respect. It's the only way to live life to the fullest.

24. Investing in your appearance is a form of self-respect. Wanting to look & feel your best and present yourself in the best light possible to others is not a superficial pursuit. Remain unwavering about your hygiene/beauty/grooming routines, deliberate styling choices, healthy eating & workout habits, and mindfulness of social graces. You're your #1 publicist, so act like it. Life is all about embracing satisfaction with a sprinkle of reputation management.

25. Be unapologetic about your financial ambitions, priorities, investments, savings goals, etc. Financial freedom IS freedom. The only way to change the system is to break it from the inside out. Leverage is everything. Allocate, and assert your (financial) power wisely.

3K notes · View notes