hello! im quite new to tumblr so i don't know if im doing this right （っ＾▿＾）but, can i request an az x reader! basically feyre meets y/n and they hit it off, and one day feyre brings y/n to the inner circle house where everyone is chilling, and reader spots azriel and she's like "oh shit" because she's in a secret relationship with him? overall just cassian and rhysand freaking out like "YOU HAVE A GF?!" and the girls are like "wtf???" and everyone just scrambling to know more about her , just some chaotic fluff. i hope this isn't too much to ask for and i hope you have a great day (•◡•) /
a/n: i'm truly here for domestic, soft az. keep em' coming cause i love writing this side of him.
You hiked your bag over your shoulder, hesitantly raising your fist to knock on the ornate wooden door in front of you.
As if the double, triple, and quadruple takes you’ve given the ridiculously enormous estate wasn’t enough, you peeked at the large manor once again, carefully surveying the address Feyre had scrawled onto a piece of paper for you. When she invited you to come over after one of her art classes, you weren’t quite sure what to expect. In all honesty, you were just glad that you managed to make a friend during your first week in Velaris.
The move from the Day Court had been a long time coming. While you enjoyed working for Helion, the Night Court libraries required your care and expertise and the High Lord of Day was more than glad to provide help to his strongest ally. You hadn’t met Rhysand yet since you’ve been given a week to settle in before starting your work, but fate seemed to be on your side because the spontaneous painting class you’d signed up for ended up being led by the High Lady herself.
Aside from your boyfriend, you didn’t really know anyone here. Azriel planned on introducing you to his friends soon, but he’d been away on a mission for the better part of this week. Due to the long distance nature of your relationship, the opportunity to meet the people closest to your boyfriend hadn’t come up until now. Neither one of you had told anyone about each other yet, preferring to keep the budding relationship to yourselves so you could explore it further without any pressure.
For the better part of six months, you’ve been seeing the feared spymaster of the Night Court and he was nothing like what people made him out to be. Azriel was mysterious and aloof at first, but he was also extremely sweet and thoughtful once you got to know him. You met the shadowsinger during one of his trips to the Day Court. Azriel was looking for information on a particularly rare artifact that just so happened to fall under your expertise of knowledge. Helion had sent him to your library and the two of you had immediately hit it off.
Since that first meeting, Azriel found excuses to keep coming back under the guise of seeking out your advice. After the third time he showed up at the library unannounced, he finally mustered up the courage to ask you out. The first date actually turned out to be a disaster. The place you picked out ended up being closed for renovations and on the way to find another restaurant, the two of you had gotten absolutely drenched from an unexpected storm. By the end of the night, you ended up huddled together underneath the awning of a random building in the city while eating cotton candy for dinner. Despite the chaotic turn of events, it was undoubtedly the best night you’ve ever had.
Azriel was surprisingly easy to talk to and he paid attention to your mindless ramblings regarding the research that you were so passionate about. There was something about his dry humor that you found incredibly attractive and the fact that he was probably one of the most beautiful males you’ve ever seen in your immortal life didn’t hurt either. On top of that, you were extremely curious about him as a whole, but even more so about his never ending stories of his friend’s apparent meddlesome behavior when it came to his love life. Before he met you, they’d attempted to set him up on blind dates that almost always ended catastrophically. At that point in the night, you pointed out the abysmal turnout of your date. Azriel had only smiled and told you that there wasn’t a single thing he’d change about the whole ordeal.
As he dropped you off at your flat, he didn’t even bother waiting before asking if he could see you again the next day. You immediately said yes. Even then, the chemistry and connection was so clear that neither of you could deny it. For months, he’d gone back and forth visiting you in between missions. When you accepted the job at the Night Court, he was elated. He couldn’t wait to introduce you to his friends, but it seemed that you had beat him to the bush.
You turned your attention back to the door and finally mustered up the courage to knock. A few moments later, Feyre opened the door, dressed in casual overalls that were covered in paint. She wrapped you up into a hug and welcomed you into her home.
“I apologize for all of this,” she says with a flourish. “My mate tends to go overboard.”
“Well, he has exquisite taste. Your home is beautiful.”
“You hear that, Feyre darling? Our guest appreciates my excellent choice of interior design.” The High Lord of Night bounded down the steps of the onyx staircase, kissing each of your cheeks in greeting. “It’s nice to finally meet you. I have to say, you came highly recommended by Helion. My dear friend was loath to part with you, but we’re more than glad to welcome you to our court.”
“Thank you for having me.”
“My pleasure. I look forward to working side by side on updating the archives of the library, but for now, I’m afraid I’ll have to bid you goodbye. I’m running late for a meeting with my brother.”
With that, Rhysand disappears into the second floor while Feyre continues to give you a tour of their home. As you passed through the frosted glass windows, she introduced you to her sister Elain who was tending to the garden while a handsome red haired male plowed the dirt beside her. The two waved at you while Feyre led you further inside.
In the right wing of the home, the High Lady ushered you into her studio and personal office. There was an easel propped up at the corner of the room, but the canvas was covered. Lounging by the window, a female that bore a striking resemblance to Feyre looked up from her book. Another gorgeous blonde sat across from her with a tray of pastries and a cup of warm tea.
“This is my eldest sister Nesta and my friend Mor.”
Nesta offered a smile while the one called Mor embraced you into a hug.
“It’s nice to meet you both.”
The blonde gestured for you to sit at the table and the four of you settled by the window.
“Feyre has told us all about you. How are you liking Velaris so far?”
You smiled. “It’s been great. Everyone here has been really nice, especially the High Lady.”
Feyre blushed. “Please, call me Feyre. I’m glad your first week here is going well. Like Rhys said, we’re looking forward to having you join us. I think you’ll really enjoy working with Clotho and the rest of the priestesses.”
Nesta nodded. “My friend Gwyn hasn’t stopped raving about you since they received word of your arrival. She said you specialized in ancient artifacts and weapons and could identify them in your sleep. Gwyn is particularly interested in your work uncovering the weaponry of the Valkyries.”
You nodded in confirmation. “Yes, learning about the Valkyries and researching their fighting technique and weapons has become a real passion of mine.”
“You two will get along then,” Mor says. “Nesta, Gwyn, and Emerie have revived their own faction of the Valkyries along with the other priestesses in the library at the House of Wind.”
Your eyes widened. “That’s amazing! If you wouldn’t mind, I’d love to observe your training some time.”
“Come by anytime. Gwyn would love to meet you. Though my mate or his brother might have to fly you up, unless you’re feeling up to climbing ten thousand steps.”
“I think I’ll pass on the steps. However terrified of heights I might be.”
“Speaking of heights, where the hell are those Illyrian males?”
The door swung open then, revealing a tall, broad male with shoulder length raven hair and a cocky smirk. “You rang?” He peered into the room, hazel eyes settling over you. “Is this Helion’s protege?”
You rose from your seat, fully prepared to shake the male’s hand until he swept you up into a hug. He grinned at your surprised reaction. “Any friend of the High Lord of Day is a friend of mine.”
“Cas, please put our guest down. At least give her a chance to accommodate herself to your barbaric behavior,” Mor teased playfully.
Nesta shot you an apologetic look. “Excuse my mate, he has a tendency to be over eager.”
Cassian set you down, smirking at Nesta. “I’ve never heard you complain about my eagerness before, Nes.”
The female rolled her eyes, but you clocked the trace of fondness on her features. “Where is the rest of your little trio anyways?”
“At a meeting.” Cassian looked over at you again. “So Rhys tells me that you’re supposed to be an expert on artifacts and weaponry. Does your knowledge extend to real life use as well?”
You smirked. “If you’re asking if I know how to wield a sword, the answer is yes. I’m also well versed in spears, hammers, bows, and the morning star. Though I do need to work on the axe.”
Cassian’s grin was almost wolfish. “Smart and dangerous? Oh, I think I like this one.”
Feyre chuckled. “I told you. I think someone else in our little group would take a liking to her as well.”
“I like the way my High Lady thinks.” The mischievous grin on the Illyrian male’s face only grew wider. “Tell me, my lady. Are you particularly fond of the quiet, brooding type?”
Mor snapped her fingers. “He’s incredibly smart and well read like yourself. His collection of rare books would put Helion’s libraries to shame.”
Nesta sighed. “All three of you are shameless. Haven’t you learned anything from the disastrous blind dates that you helped set up months ago?”
“My brother hasn’t been on a single date for half a year. I’m starting to think he’s hiding -“
“Who’s hiding something?” Rhysand asked, popping his head in the doorway.
Behind him, a familiar figure loomed in the hallway. Your eyes met and Azriel instantly smiled, nearly pushing Rhys over the threshold to get to you. The whole room stilled as Azriel picked you up and twirled you in the air. Seemingly unaware of your audience, the shadowsinger pulled you in for a kiss. You smiled against his lips and relished in the feel of him against you.
You chuckled when Azriel pulled away, cheeks flush with the attention from his friends. “Hi, Az.”
“Hi, my love.”
“Do you want to put me down? I think your friends have gone into shock.”
Your boyfriend turned around and came face to face with five stunned faces. He shrugged, fully ignoring them.
"When you said you made a friend, you forgot to mention that it was Feyre."
"Perhaps I wanted them to like me before they knew you were my boyfriend. I would've told you sooner, but I didn't think you'd be back until later tonight."
"I may or may not have raced across the Continent to get home to you sooner."
Butterflies fluttered in your stomach. Somewhere behind you, an impatient clearing of the throat interrupted your thoughts.
"Will someone please tell me what the hell is going on?" Rhysand asked.
Azriel faced the others with a slight grimace as he beheld their expressions. “Everyone, meet my girlfriend.” He gestured proudly over to you. “My love, meet my family. Though it seems like no introduction is even needed.”
“What? How?” Cassian sputtered. “Explain yourself, brother.”
The High Lord of Night was fully gaping. “I second that. How is this the first time I’m hearing of a girlfriend?”
“Because,” Azriel stated, draping his arm over your shoulder. “You lot are the nosiest busybodies this realm has ever seen. I didn’t want to overwhelm her. I was actually planning on introducing everyone over this week’s family dinner, but it looks like my love beat me to it.”
Mor let out a sound of disbelief. “How long have you two been dating? Where did you meet? I need the full rundown, shadowsinger.” She fully stood, shaking her head. “Actually, I want to hear from the source herself. Move over, Az.”
Azriel looked down at you for a quick check in, but you only shot him an amused smile. His hand remained on the small of your back while his friends stared at you expectantly.
“Well?” Rhysand asked. “Don’t keep us in suspense.”
“We’ve been seeing each other for six months - long distance until this week. I met Azriel at the Sol library in the Day Court, where I used to work for Helion. When you asked for help with the library archives, Az and I took it as a sign.”
“Six months?” Feyre exclaimed. “You’ve been hiding this from us for six whole months?”
Azriel smiled sheepishly. “Technically, none of you ever asked so I wasn’t really hiding the relationship. Besides, we wanted time to figure things out for ourselves before we involved anyone else.”
It was the best decision you two have ever made as a couple. You were both extremely private people so the choice had come naturally. The time you spent together alone was pivotal in making sure you were both on the same page. Now that you had officially decided to move to Velaris, your relationship was more than solidified and it made it that much easier to let your friends and family know. You were hoping for a more formal introduction, but it seemed that fate had other plans.
“So what’s the verdict?” Feyre asked.
“The verdict is that I’m crazy about her. Perhaps the Mother herself knew how excited I was to introduce her to all of you given the coincidence of today’s impromptu meeting.”
Rhys snorted. “And to think, you were so against the idea of me setting you up with Feyre’s new friend. Turns out you were already dating her.”
You raised an amused brow at the High Lord. “You wanted to set me up with my own boyfriend?”
Azriel chuckled. “He wouldn’t stop going on about it during our meeting. Practically dragged me in here. I should’ve known he was talking about you as soon as he said smart and pretty.”
He pressed a kiss atop your head, earning another incredulous look out of the group. You chuckled. When you first met, neither one of you was keen on public displays of affection, but now reaching out to hold Azriel's hand or giving him a quick peck on the cheek came as naturally as breathing. If you were being completely honest, it was hard to keep your hands to yourself and Azriel wasn't in the business of denying you either. He completely enabled you by always touching you in some way, whether it was a hand on your back or his shoulder pressed against yours. You'd been spoiled with physical touch and you couldn't get enough.
“At least now they can stop trying to send you on all of those terrible blind dates.”
“Terrible?” Cassian asks indignantly. “My matches were great! Az is just extremely picky.”
Azriel shrugged. “I was just waiting for the perfect one to come along and she did.”
You blushed as Azriel swept you to his side. His right wing curved over your protectively as did his shadows. They'd taken quite a liking to you and the feeling was mutual. As the shadows twined through your hair, you nuzzled into the familiar cold touch.
“That’s pretty damn adorable,” Rhys says with a chuckle. “But don’t think that this gets you out of answering all of our questions. Expect a full on interrogation.”
Azriel rolled his eyes, grinning down at you. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you that my family is full of persistent gossips.”
You grinned. “I don’t know, Az. They’re kind of growing on me.”
“Mother save us,” Azriel muttered. “Go on then, tell them every detail that I’m sure they’re dying to know.”
At his approval, all five of them launched into a myriad of questions, talking over one another as they scrambled to get to you first. Azriel tangled his hand with yours, squeezing in warning.
“This is only the beginning.”
You smiled in return. For him, you'd gladly endure any amount of questioning.
Summary: Azriel has doubt of his empending fatherhood, given what his rough childhood was like. His mate, however, gives him some light and hope.
Warnings: Just a mix of Angst and Fluff
A/N: Another oneshot with our batboy and his thoughts of being a dad!
You never knew your baby shower was going to be as joyful as it was.
The sun rays were pouring into the small little apartment that warm summer afternoon, yet the cool Velaris breeze was making the heat less painful as your apartment was filled with the members of the Inner Circle and some of your closer friends. Various balloons of all shapes and sizes and in shades of greens and golds, bountiful snacks and food were present along the long dining table that also had endless flowing glasses of wine and champagne. Laughter and light conversation was heard throughout your home as you were perched at your own armchair, one hand holding a cup of ice cold water and the other resting on the top of your 7 month pregnant belly.
Watching your own baby shower unfold in front of you.
Both High Lord Rhysand and High Lady Feyre wanted to throw the shower at The River House, but you persuaded them to have it at your own home since only the Inner Circle and a few others would be in attendance. They then opted to have the entire party planned without either you or your mate contributing. Elaine brought all the flower arrangements and pastries as her gift, the whole home filled the scents of wildflower and daffodils, which blended in with the aroma of pastries and cookies that were to die for. Nesta and her mate Cassian helped rearrange the home for the party, Nesta making sure you always had water close by and not walking around too much since you were now waddling this late in your pregnancy.
She literally ran the entire shower, being your best friend and the Godmother of your future child.
Going into the third hour of the party, you were spent and perched in your armchair as Elaine walked over to give you a warm smile and one of her cookies on a plate. You were in a light green dress, showing your belly perfectly with the silhouette and your hair in a high messy bun, light make up was worn and your wedding ring glistened on your left ring finger.
“I came to check on the lady of the hour,” She explained, you smiling at her as you took a long drink from yoru water, “How are you feeling?”
“Happy,” You replied in a shrug, “A bit tired since my little one is already making me sit more than walk, but I’m happy. You all did so much for us, I can’t ever thank you all enough,”
“It’s our honor,” Elaine replied in her dream-like tone, patting your arm gently with her nimble fingers as she gestured to the others in the room whom were chatting with one another, “We’re all glad for you and your family,”
Rhysand was talking with Feryre, of course smiling at her as if she hung the moon with her own kind eyes. Feyre was grinning widely, laughing at something her husband and mate said as he grinned back just from making her smile. Armen was nibbling a bit at the snacks not he dining room table, golden her own glass tightly in her grip but looking content. Nesta and Cassian were chatting with little Nyx, Cassian hoisted him on his shoulders and was making him giggle in delight as Nesta was grinning with a smirk, seeing that twinkling in his eyes as Nyx was pulling at Cassian's medium length hair.
But there was one person missing, and you just noticed not too long ago.
“Where is your husband?” Elaine asked, making you look around as well with the same question in your own head. It made your worry, scanning the room and not seeing any signs of him. He was there when the party started, just as excited as you were when the others showed up at your doorsteps with presents and other decorations. But as the party went on, you lost track of him. You didn’t mean to, the ladies were all coddling over you and they were doting on your every beck and call. Yet now….now he was nowhere to be soon.
“Perhaps it was all too much for him, you know how he is,” Elaine tried to reason with you since she saw the look of concern on your face, “We can be a rambunctious bunch and…..what are you doing?”
“I’m going to walk around for a bit,” You said as you hosted herself up on your feet, letting yourself being centered from your gravity already being altered thanks to your belly. Elaine shot up, thinking she was going to help you, but you caught yourself and gave her a small smile, “Some fresh air will do me some good. I’ll only be a moment,”
“Alright, just don’t be too long since we’re going to open presents soon,” Elaine explained as you walked away from her, mostly waddled. You had some inkling as to where he would be, yet you said nothing as you moved out of the living room and into the calmer hallway. The others weren’t paying attention, which was perfect since the last thing you wanted was them to fuss over you. You would rather find your mate, your bond softly calling to you giving you the sense of worry.
Not from you, from him.
You walked to the end of the hallway, seeing one door open slightly and a small hint of light coming from inside. Pausing, you looked back one more time to make sure no one was following you. Moving with your hand, you pushed open the door into the dimly lit room, peering inside and feeling your heart sweet from the sight in front of you.
It was the nursery, already made up and ready for the baby. You remembered finishing it one week ago, getting the right color for the wall and the perfect furniture that would be used completely. The light brown wood on the dresser and on the crib, the crisp white linen of the blankets and sheets, and even some smaller wooden toys that were gifts already packed away in a wooden box box and ready for your little one to indulge in. But it was the being the was perched over the crib, reaching down to take a small stuffed teddy bear that was perched in the corner of the crib.
You knew this being far too well, not just from the massive wings that were tucked behind him and his dark locks, but the strong arms that would hold you close and yet be gentle, his scarred hands that held so much grief from his past but only brought joy to you, and the stiff stance that was always present whether he was on the job or not.
Your mate. The Spymaster himself: Azriel.
“Hello you,” You said in a soft tone. Azriel moving so quick his shadows had to catch up behind him. He held the bear in one of his hands, the scars along his skin being a contrast to the soft texture of the bear’s fur. Even in the more casual attire he wanted to wear to the party with his hair pushed to the side to show his eyes, you could see he wasn’t himself. That he was lost in his own mind, making you walk into the room and close it behind you. The noises of the party drifted away as Azriel looked at you then in concern, placing the bear back in the crib before making his way over to you.
“Are you alright? Is it the baby? Come, come sit—“ he started to rambling, reaching to take your hand in his. The rocking chair, a gift from Mor, was perched in the corner next to the crib, Azriel was attempting to take you over there. But you stood your grounded shook your head, lacing your fingers together and kissing the back of it as you locked eyes with Azriel.
“I’m perfectly fine,” You hummed in reply, “But I fear as though my own mate is not,”
Azriel said nothing as you walked over a bit more, scanning his eyes as you reached up with your other hand to cup his cheek. You didn’t want to say it, but you sensed it already from the moment you walked into the room. Long before you two were married, you and Azriel grew to know each other very well from the inside out. You both were friends long before you fell in love, let alone realizing you were mates. He considered you his better half, the half that was missing most of his life. Up until you came into the picture, Azriel mostly had to rely on his own, sometimes he would rely on Cassian and Rhysand. But most of the time, he was a solo Spymaster.
That changed when you stumbled into his life and shook it up.
“What’s going on, honey?” You asked calmly, feeling him taking in a slow exhale as you both reached each other eyes, “Is it the party?”
“Not at all,” he answered, giving you a reassuring grin, “I quite enjoyed the party,”
“It seems that way, that’s why you’re hiding out here in our baby’s nursery,” You teased lightly, seeing him give a small chuckle and look down at your belly that is between the pair of you. You watched him, not wishing to take your eyes off of him for a moment. He moved your laced hands, taking his hand from yours to place on top of your belly to feel your tight yet soft skin under the dress you were wearing. HIs hand nearly covered the while belly, almost in a protective manner while he was thinking of what to tell you.
“Az, it’s just me,” You reminded him gently, seeing his eyes on your belly with his hand there as you took another step towards him, “Nothing else matters to me than you and what’s going on in that brilliant head of yours,”
He bit his lower lip for a moment, you could see and almost feel those inner walls that were up starting to fall. You could wait all day if you could just to hear what was on his heart, you were one of the fear few that have the privilege of see all of Azriel, both the good and the bad. Cassian and Rhysand were the firsts since they grew up together, then it was Mor because they were close.
The last one was you.
“I know we are prepared to have our child within a month’s time,” Azriel explained his voice sounding so soft as he was expressing this to you, “And I can’t wait to have our child here. My own thoughts, however, are occupied with the notion of me….not being a good enough father.”
Perhaps he heard your heart breaking within your bound, not to mention how big your eyes got as you stood so still in front of him. To think of Axriel having doubts of being a father, even before your child was born, it made your feel so sad and almost broken from the inside and out. You always saw the best within him, even in the moments when he had doubt or negative thoughts that would fester his mind. Yet you saw the goodness and the gift of pure light inside of him, long before you two first got together as a couple and as mates. Bringing him out of that shell that you knew he had over him was hard at time, but it was all worth it to see all the side of Azriel open and free.
“Azriel,” You said in a low tone, moving your other hand to cradle his face to have him look at him as he was still shifting a bit on his feet, “Please look at me, please?”
He poured his eyes into you, having you give him a small smile as you touched the back of his neck near the small hairs there, a gesture of comfort you loved to give him.
“You are going to be an amazing father,” You promised him as his hands rested on your hips, “I know deep down you will be. Our baby is already beyond lucky to have you as father,…but it saddens me to think that—“
“Wait,” He said, seeing you getting a bit worked up from hearing this from him. He moved you, carefully and softly, over to the rocking chair as you kept your eyes on him, “Come sit before you get worked up, honey,”
You moved, feeling him lower you to the chair as he sighed and knelt down in front of you, searching your eyes to see you give him a stare of disbelief and pain. He kissed both of your hands carefully and with love, keeping your laced hands on your lap as he gazed lovingly and longingly at his mate.
“Don’t think for one moment I’m not excited for our child,” He said to you calmly, you sniffing and nodding your head, “I am beyond excited. Ever since you told me you were with child, it’s been the main subject on my mind for months. This is good, and this is what I’ve wanted with you, especially with you,”
“Okay,” You hummed, showing you were following.
“I’m merely worried about how good of a father I will be, if I’ll do a good enough job as a father,” Azriel explained, his eyes looking down at your belly again to make you see the wheels turning in his mind, “If I’ll be anything like…”
You knew who he was talking about. His own childhood was cruel and vicious: his step mother and step brothers were nothing but horrible to him and kept him away from his mother. HIs father was not as much help to the torment he went through, including his step brother giving him the scars along his hands. Thankfully, after being dumbed as a Illryian training camp when he was still a boy, Rhysand, his mother, and Cassian took him and brought him some love that he missed. Yet that childhood was a scar along his backside, deep and jarring like a dull pain he would feel every once in awhile. Maybe he was thinking he would never let that be shown with you when you two became mates.
And now, with a baby on the way.
“Like your father,” You ended for him, seeing him nod his head slowly as you grimaced, “I can tell you for certain you are not like your father. There is so much goodness in you, it outweighs all that you went through as a child. When I see you with Nyx, I see someone who is happy, beyond happy, and someone who loves his nephew with all his heart and soul. I know deep down you’ll be the very same with our own child,”
Azriel was drinking in all you were telling him, still looking a bit unconvinced for a moment as you both were watching one another while the party was still going on without the guests of honor.
“You can’t let the past keep haunting you, Az. Not when I know your future is so bright and waiting for you,” You reminded him, seeing him give you a reassuring smile, “I know the past can hurt, especially yours that brought you nothing but pain and darkness. But I don’t see pain and darkness with the Illryian in front of me, with my best friend and mate. You know what I see?”
He watched, waiting on bated breath for you as you grinned widely, not even hiding the singular tear down your cheek from the emotional wave of love that came in you.
“I see hope,” you whispered with confidence, “Hope that anyone can conquer the tallest of mountains and the deepest of raveens, and you have done that. Your family can see that, I see that, and our little one is going to see and learn what it means to have hope. Okay?”
Azriel nodded, leaning up to kiss you and melt into your arms. You hummed against his lips, arms around his neck while his own arms were around your hips and along your stomach. He was your safe space, from the moment you two met and became close you found peace in his presence. It took you some time to figure out that you were his, seeing his calm demeanor come out when you two spoke or were around one another. He felt at ease with you, something he confessed he never had with another for centuries.
So for you two to bringing a child into the world seemed like the last piece you both needed to be feel full and connected as one. There was no doubt in your mind that Azriel was going to be an excellent father to this child, or any others you might have in the future. Maybe you would have one more, or perhaps two to three. But for now, your one child was all you both could ever dream or wish for.
“Of all the beings to be mated to, to have a child with, I am profoundly lucky to have you to share my life with,” Azriel hummed against your lips, making you grin as he kept talking, “And our daughter is lucky too,”
You chuckled as you pulled away from his chasing lips, raising an eyebrow at him, “You’re still convinced we’re having a girl?”
“I know we are,” He replied in confident, rubbing the top of your belly with his fingertips. As if on contact and on cue, the baby kicked hard against his touch. You both looked in shock, Azriel grinned widely and pointing to the same spot where your baby kicked, “Our daughter agrees.”
The nursery door knocked, you both looked to see it was Elaine poking her head in. She was grinning from the site, You perched at the rocking chair and Azriel kneeling in front of you with his hands caressing your stomach.
“I thought I would find the pair of you in here!” She said in a light manner, “Am I interrupting?”
“Not at all,” Azriel replied to her calmly, his smile was back on his face and the feelings of fear and hesitance were gone now, “We just needed a break together.”
“That’s what I told the others!” Elaine hummed in agreement, “But Mor wants to have you two open the presents. Maybe.... maybe we can do it in here since you’re already sitting and comfortable,”
Before you could protest, Azriel got up from his spot in front of you, smoothing out his shirt and pants, “That’s a wonderful idea, Elaine. Let’s get the boys to bring the presents in here, and some water for my mate, if you don’t mind please,”
“Already on it!” Elaine was already out the door before you could protest. Azriel beamed at you when it was just the pair of you again, leaning over to kiss your cheek and run his fingers over your belly one more time. You felt it though his bond that all was well again, that his mind was back to the present and not with uneasiness or uncertainty.
“You just sit here and look ravishing as I get the presents,” He hummed against your cheek, you nuzzling into him for a brief moment before he looked at you in the eyes again. You even saw the change in his hazel eyes, the look of love and happiness was back as they should be, and your heart was full to see Azriel back to his normal self again.
“I love you,” you said to him in breath.
“I love you more,” he vowed, kissing your head and moving out of the room within moment. You leaned back in your chair, letting the moment of love and peace fill the room one again. Drinking in the notion that your family will grow from two to three within a month, the moments of having Azriel all to yourself would be out the window. But that didn’t feel you with dread, mostly with joy and the never ending sensation of hope that your family will always be filled with what Azriel never had.
And two months later, Azriel was perched in the very rocking chair with your infant daughter named Hope swaddled in his arms. He sang her an old lullaby, her dark hair seen and her nose from her father evident against the green blanket. Azriel’s heart was beyond full and overflowing, never seeing anything else just as beautiful apart from his mate.
Dinner With Friends: An Azriel Smut
Warnings: This is smut through and through. Enjoy ;)
Summary: You taunt Azriel at dinner, earning yourself a not-so-unpleasant punishment.
Azriel had been taunting me all night. He was provoking me in hopes of getting me riled up. He got off on it. Knowing that I was squirming, desperate for him made him feel incredibly satisfied with himself. But I was determined to win this game he was playing.
I got up from the table, ignoring the erupting laughter after Cassian made some incredibly inappropriate joke. I made sure to add a little more sway to my hips as I walked, feeling Azriel’s eyes burning holes in my back.
I fill my cup mindlessly with water, humming to myself. Within seconds, I feel my mate’s huge body pressing into me, hardness already evident against my backside. I smirk slightly and lean back into him.
“What game are you playing?” He growls, lips latching onto my neck, tongue swirling over my skin in a dizzying pattern. I tried to ground myself. I couldn’t let him win this game of his again.
“I don’t know what you mean, my love.” I give him a sweet smile, walking away from him and towards our friends who are back at the table. I feel him following me, his energy tense.
“You know I’m holding back from bending you over this countertop and showing our friends just how much you like how I feel,” He says, voice low and threatening. A chill runs down my spine, but I toss my hair over one shoulder and flounce back to the dining room without a word.
He sits down across from me, glaring at me from under his lashes, jaw flexing. I lift my hair off my neck, revealing my collarbones, which I knew was one of his favorite parts of my body. He’d told me many, many times.
I raised the toe of my heels, tracing a gentle line up his leg. He sucks in a breath, cold death on his face. Oh, I was going to pay for this later. But the idea of that kind of excited me if I was being honest.
Dinner passed by and we all migrated to the couches around the hearth with our wine glasses just as we do every Sunday. Feyre and Rhys giggle in the corner, some sweet moment being shared between the two of them. Azriel walks into the room, eyes twinkling with something wicked. I swallowed, heartbeat racing. I needed to control myself. I knew our family all had incredibly keen senses of smell and would smell my arousal if I didn’t calm down. Unfortunately, Azriel also knew that. Cauldron boil me, we were bound to be kicked out of the House of Wind again with a chorus of gagging noises and shouts of “GET A ROOM!”
Azriel sits dangerously close to me, his long legs spread wide. Gods. He had both hands on the wine glass between his legs, looking tense. His eyes flicked around the room, taking in everyone’s conversations and movements. His white button down had been unbuttoned a few buttons, revealing his swirling tattoos underneath. I could’ve moaned at the sight, truthfully. He was a work of art. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could play this game without taking him home and screwing his brains out.
I throw back my head and drain the rest of my wine quickly, begging for it to give me some courage. I’d need it to make it through the night. I sat my glass on the small end table beside the couch and sat back. A mischievous grin lit my face as I decided my next move.
Leaning over, I reach for Azriel’s wine glass, clutched between his legs, being sure to let my hand drag across his upper thighs as I did, looking up at him from under my lashes. He watched me with an intensity that made my bones want to turn to liquid.
Staying leaned over, I bring his wine glass to my red lips slowly, taking a sip. “Something wrong, baby?” I ask in the most innocent voice I can muster. His jaw flickers with effort to keep from saying what he really wants to. I’m surprised he hasn’t thrown me over his shoulder and carried me home already.
“I don’t care if it takes all night. You will submit.” He growls, only loud enough for me to hear. Goosebumps crawl across my skin at his words, my breath hitching as he grabs his wine glass from me and finishes it in one gulp, getting up to head to the kitchen to refill it.
I scamper to my feet, following him into the kitchen just like he’d probably planned for me to. He is leaning against the countertop, surveying me with a frustrated gaze. I walk over, dangerously close to him, reaching just behind him for a napkin we both knew I didn’t actually need, my breasts grazing his arm as I did.
“Do I look like I’m messing around? Do I look like I won’t punish you?” His words send lightning bolts up my spine, excitement and nervousness filling my gut.
“Why not tonight? I’m even wearing something pretty,” I grin, twirling in my black flowy gown, throwing him a wink. Before I can even process what’s happened, I am thrown over Azriel’s shoulder.
He stomps down the hallway, right past all of our friends still gathered by the fire. “Goodnight.” He says firmly to them all, me thrown haphazardly over his shoulder. I know better than to say anything. Our friends let out a few groans of disgust and laughs as they tell us goodnight.
Back into our bedroom, Azriel sits me down roughly, throwing me backwards onto the bed. My dress bunches up around my hips as I try to gracefully catch myself but fail, and I move to pull it back down when his words stop me cold.
“I think you know better than to do that.” It was an order. The sheer command in his voice warmed my stomach, my core aching for him. I also knew better than to expect that anytime soon.
“You really wanted to test boundaries tonight, didn’t you? Feeling a little brave, aren’t you, bunny? Let’s see how long that bravery lasts.” He sits down in the arm chair across from the bed, pouring himself a glass of bourbon and crossing one ankle across the other knee. “Take your clothes off. Now.”
I swallow, nervous in the best way. I slowly and hesitantly walked over to him, turning around in a silent request he knew very well. His hands are warm and gentle as he slowly unzips my dress, knuckles grazing the skin below as he does. The zipper ends just above my ass, and so do his hands. I shrug out of the gown, feeling his eyes on my back as I head back to crawl back onto the bed like he would’ve wanted.
I look to him, eager for direction. His eyes roam my body, eyes almost black with lust. A sly grin spreads across that wickedly beautiful face. “Touch that pretty cunt for me, princess. Show me just how bad you want me.”
I take a deep breath to steady my nerves, hand hesitantly wandering between my bare legs, down to the center of the apex of my thighs. My fingers gather the wetness there, and I let out a soft moan at the glide of my fingers as I reach up to tease my own clit, mimicking what I’ve seen and felt Azriel do a million times.
He tenses, eyes locked on my heat. I continue my motions, watching him breathing heavily. The pleasure begins to grow, stomach tightening, and breaths becoming more like desperate pants.
“Don’t come.” He demands. I whine. His brows flick up in a challenge, and I slow my motions, not allowing myself that blissful release yet. He gets up now, striding over to me in slow steps that commanded attention. My hand stilled as he neared, his hand roughly grabbing the side of my face, tilting my head up for him. Gods, he is gorgeous.
“Open your mouth for me, baby.” I oblige and he slips his ring and third fingers in my mouth gently. I moan as my tongue swirls around the pads of his fingers, showing him just how sorry I was.
He pulls his fingers out, the wetness of them glistening in the dim light as he lowers them to my most desperate places, pausing centimeters from where I needed him the most.
“Az, please,” I beg, writhing underneath his stare with need. “I need to feel you.”
He hums as he slowly parts me, fingers roaming and exploring slowly. My eyes roll back in my head at his touch, so desperate for him.
“Keep your eyes open, bunny. Look at me.” I obey, meeting his hazel eyes. Right as I do, he slowly slides both fingers into me. An ungodly moan passes through my lips, earning a groan of approval from him.
“You’re fucking drenched. Are you that desperate for my cock?” He pumps his fingers slowly, savoring the feel of me clenching around him in need. I nod, moaning again. “So fucking needy.”
“Ride my hand and make yourself come, baby. Use me to get yourself off.” Gods, he was so hot. I was going to devour him whole.
Finally having permission to ease the ache in my belly, I grind my hips against the palm of his hand as he curls his fingers inside me, helping me and encouraging me towards that edge.
My climax blindsides me, dragging desperate noises from me as Azriel watches me, mouth open and eyes hooded. He rides me through it, pumping into me slowly with his long fingers. When my body finally settles, he slides his fingers out of me and lifts them to his mouth, never breaking his stare, my eyes held hostage in his as I watch his plush pink lips part as he sucks onto his own fingers, tasting me, a groan rumbling in his chest.
“You don’t deserve a reward based on how you acted at dinner, so feel lucky that if I don’t feel you riding my face soon I might lose it.” I hum at the thought. He lays back on the bed, roughly grabbing my hips and positioning me above him.
His tongue parts me, slowly sliding up to my clit and swirling there. Gods, his mouth was so warm and wet. Giving me another long pass with his tongue, he groans and digs his fingers into my hips, yanking me down until I was firmly pressed against him. He digs his fingers in again, urging me to rock my hips against his face. I whimper at the sensation, earning a groan from him that vibrates through my core. I gasp, rocking harder against him, which only makes him more eager to devour me.
I ride his face to climax, legs shuddering with effort as my eyes roll back into my head. Gods, nothing in this world felt like Azriel. He pulled me down then, hand gripping the back of my head and dragging my mouth to his. His lips felt like velvet against mine and I can feel the wetness of me on him.
His tongue enters my mouth, fighting for dominance with my own as I grind my hips down onto his still covered erection. Why did he still have so many clothes on?
I yanked his shirt open, buttons clattering to the floor. He growls in approval, kissing me harder and rougher as we both struggle to get his pants off as quickly as possible.
“Grind against me,” he snarled, pushing my hips back down onto his. I groan, my wetness gliding against his huge length. He pants, eyes squeezing shut at the sensation, head tipping back.
I ride him with reckless abandon, savoring the closeness and desperation for each other. I didn’t think I’d ever get enough of him.
“Please fuck me,” I gasp against his mouth. He lets out a dark chuckle.
“So fucking greedy for me, aren’t you bunny? Just can’t wait to feel me inside you.” I nod desperately and he lets out another soft, sensual laugh.
“Then have me,” he says, gesturing down to the connection between the two of us. I sigh in relief, sinking down onto his cock as the two of us moan into each other's mouths.
He grips me tightly, flipping us over with ease and driving himself into me with force. He fucks me like it’s the last time he’ll ever get to. And gods does he feel good. He fills me perfectly, mouth sucking on one of my breasts. I begin to see stars, legs wrapping around him and attempting to shove him closer.
“That’s it, baby. You take me so fucking well,” he pants against my nipple, suckling again, swirling his tongue in a way that shoots lightning bolts straight to my core. That sends me over the edge, my orgasm blooming and wrapping around his cock, draining him as he comes with me.
We stay like that for a second more, him still filling me and us gasping into each other’s mouths, attempting to reground ourselves. Finally, he pulls out of me and I feel the absence of him like an ache. His cum spills out of me and onto his stomach and he watches, lips parted.
“Gods, you ruin me,” he sighs, tugging me close to his chest as he rises to take us both to the bathroom, the faucet turning on as he sits me on the cold edge of the tub. “Maybe you should push me more often,” he laughs, and I throw him a wink, forever grateful for a mate I could share such intimacy with.
🥤The Heathers: try the odd and spin the random prompts and see what you have, please specify the character, here the smutty one.
Hi, could I have this with Azriel! Thank you! And congratulation!
Your prompt: Azriel and Y/N fighting all day and fucking all night.
Author's note: Hi love! Thank you for your request! I love writing it, hope you like this. I’m sorry, I know it’s not one of my best, just it’s really late, and I’m kinda of tired :(
Requests are open I Ask I My masterlist I Join the Taglist |. Celebration
Since you joined the Inner Circle, Azriel has never been able to accept your presence. In one way or another, he has always made it a point to let you know how much he disliked you, and you have begun to do the same. For centuries no one could leave you alone in a room without being afraid that you would end up relentlessly whining until one of the gods died.
That was until Rhysand decided to play with fate, sending you on a mission alone, you and Azriel, into the Illyrian mountains. At first you both tried to change the High Lord's mind, but he was immovable on the subject.
You set out this morning, doing nothing but walking through the woods since Rhysand took you to a mountain, telling us which direction you should go.
Slowly night came, and with it the cold and the need to find a place to spend the night. As if by magic a small cabin appeared, where for a few coins they rent rooms to wayfarers. Of course since Mother is not in your favor, the only room left at the inn was the attic, where there was only one bed, which you and your greatest enemy must share. Once you enter the room silence falls, realizing perhaps truly for the first time that you were to sleep together.
After a quick shower, you both crawl into bed, close enough to feel each other's beats. The Illyrian's wings stretched beyond you, and you stood watching the veins in the alli and what scars, when suddenly you hear Azriel say "Fuck it," before attaching his lips with hers.
Suddenly years and years of pent-up sexual tension, hidden by not so veiled insults comes to the surface, and before you know it you and the Shadowsinger are rolling up in the blankets of that half-broken inn bed, in the throes of moans and pleasure, one in the other's arms. You spend the whole night having sex, as well as the next in another lcand, and the one after that. The mission lasts for a week, and when you return the others cannot help but laugh, relieved that you have not killed yourself, and that you finally understood your feelings, however much the signs of your love are very evident on you.
Azriel never pushed Feyre off a cliff during their lessons
It's not in the books
Azriel, Spy Master of Night Court: *exists*
Cassian: Gwyn has green eyes right?
Azriel: Gwyn’s eyes are blue with a hint of light blue when the light hits just right.
Cassian: And when was the last time she smiled?
Azriel: Last night at 12:03 am.
Cassian: Right, and when’s my birthday?
Cassian: When’s my birthday, Az?
I commissioned my first ever piece of fanart! Isn’t it gorgeous?!!! I found a picture online of a girl in the water and it reminded me of Gwyn and her river nymph heritage. So, I had the lovely avoccatt_art on instagram create this gorgeous peace of art. Anyways, I hope you enjoy staring at this as much as I do. That is what I’ll be doing for the next hour.
Do not repost without credit!
Azriel Shadowsinger 🦇
by tonyviento on Instagram
“just like that, baby. keep rocking back on my cock like a greedy whore.”
his hands were gripping your waist harshly, pushing you back onto his cock with each thrust into you. by now, the two of you had been in your shared room for hours, both in desperate heat for one another. it was a surprise that your cunt was still slick with your own wet arousal￼￼.
azriel’s body was masked with sweat, the shimmering liquid glistening off of his chest, illuminated by the light of the bedside lamp. he was so fucking delicious.
“oh.” you exclaimed, his cock hitting that oh so perfect spot inside of your gummy walls repeatedly—relentlessly. if it wasn’t for your increase in whines, the vice grip that your cunt had on his cock, definitely gave away that you were so close.
“gonna cum, sweetie? hm?” he teased, his voice soft and daring— as if he was testing you. testing to see if you’d cum without his permission, that is.
you nodded frantically, a series of whines leaving your lips as his hips crashed into yours rhythmically, never once failing to kiss into your g-spot.
“i need words.” he ordered, a hand offering off of your now bruised hip, and caressing your face gently, before sliding his thumb into your gasping mouth. he had to stop himself from cumming immediately from the instinctive way that you began to suck obediently on his thumb, no hesitation to be found. “that’ll do i suppose.”
No but we need dad!Az telling his son that he's going to be a big brother and then the two of them being one 100% sure that it'll be a girl. And like reader being like "don't you want a brother?", "and he's like no, want to take care of my sister how daddy is taking care of you", and then just them meeting the baby and then their son being the proudest big brother telling everyone about her. Loove you work to death!
a/n: do you think hurting me is cool? just kidding i am a simp for daddy az and i love this ask.
“Have you told him yet?” Feyre asks as the two of you watched your sons wrestle in the garden of the River House.
Malakai flapped his wings upwards, flinging dirt into Nyx’s eyes. The older boy laughed and flew a few feet off the ground.
“I’ll get you for that, Kai!”
The boys soared into the air and chased each other through the skies as you turned your attention back to your High Lady.
“Not yet, we were planning on telling him tonight when Az gets back from the Continent.”
It was weeks ago when Madja confirmed that you and your mate would be welcoming another addition to your family and you couldn’t be happier to be carrying Azriel’s child again, but you were a little worried about telling your son. For five years, Malakai had enjoyed you and Azriel’s undivided attention and while the sweet boy generally got along with other children, you knew the coming change of being an only child to becoming a big brother would require adjustment on all of your parts.
As if reading your mind, Feyre offered you a smile. Her daughter Celeste turned over in her lap, a spitting image of her mother who inherited her father’s violet eyes. Beside her, Nesta and Cassian’s daughter Ember curled up against your thigh. The cousins had tuckered themselves out from running around and playing all afternoon.
“Kai’s going to be great. Last week, Ember and Celeste were playing a little too roughly and my daughter ended up scraping her knee. Nyx went inside to ask for help, but Kai stayed with the girls and calmed Celeste down. Rhys and I found them laughing by the time we got out here.”
You smiled as a swell of pride built in your chest. Malakai was shy and quiet, opting to let his cousins take the lead, but he was also extremely sweet and caring, traits that he’d so clearly inherited from his father. Your son might have your eyes and your nose, but everything else from the way he walked, talked, and even smiled was purely Azriel.
“Az and I have no doubt that he’ll be the best big brother, but I just don’t want him to feel like our love and attention has been divided with this new baby on the way.”
Your hand rested on the barely there bump underneath your dress, sending a loving caress over the new life growing inside.
Feyre nodded in understanding. “Rhys and I worried about that too, but Nyx completely fell in love with his baby sister the second we brought her home. He’s so protective of her, always watching her and making sure she’s safe.” A fond smile finds its way onto Feyre’s face as she brushes back Celeste’s golden brown hair. A shimmer of her wings appeared as she rustled in her sleep. Like her father, Celeste could summon her wings at will. “You know how these Illyrian males can get.”
A loving tug down your bond made you perk up at the sight of your own Illyrian male striding through the back door of the house.
“Dad! Dad! Nyx taught me how to do a flip. Watch!” Kai careened through the lawn and somersaulted through the air.
Your heart nearly dropped to your stomach from the dangerous height, but Azriel sent a touch of reassurance down the bond of shadow. You knew this would only be the start of a lifetime of worrying given your son’s inclination to flying.
“Great job, bud. That’s pretty impressive.”
“We also worked on his dives, uncle Az. Kai’s pretty fast, but not faster than me!” Nyx laughed as he circled around Kai, teasing his cousin playfully.
Ember perked up from your lap, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. Her wings flared out behind her as she coaxed Celeste out of Feyre’s arms. “C’mon Cel. Let’s show the boys how it’s really done.”
The girls took off, disappearing into two dark blurs as they shot across the estate. Nyx and Kai chased after them, but barely trailed behind at their sheer speed. You couldn’t help but chuckle. You loved how close your children were and you couldn’t wait to add another into the growing mix.
Azriel walked over to you and nearly carried you into his arms as he helped you to your feet. Feyre shot you a knowing look. The rest of your friends witnessed firsthand how doting and protective your mate was when you were pregnant with Kai, barely leaving your side for the duration of the pregnancy. You had a feeling that this time around wouldn’t be any different and would probably be intensified given the fact that Azriel was convinced that you were having a baby girl.
The two of you had discussed it one night and while you and Azriel would both be happy no matter what the outcome would be, your mate had fallen in love with the possibility of having a daughter.
“Are you ready to head home, my love?”
You nod, saying goodbye to Feyre as Azriel wrangled your son away from his cousins. The High Lady kissed your cheek in parting.
Azriel squeezed your hand as the two of you watched your son sprawl out on the carpet with an open book sitting in his lap. Your mate gave you a nod of encouragement.
“Kai, honey? Can you come sit with us for a second? Daddy and I have something to tell you.”
Kai nodded and slipped a bookmark between the pages of his book before carefully returning it to the wooden bookcase in the corner of your living room. His little nose scrunched in concentration as he attempted to mimic the precise way that Azriel organized the spines of the countless books you both owned. The sight made you chuckle as Kai walked over to the sofa, settling between you and his dad.
He snuggled into your arms, looking up at you with those big brown eyes with a hint of hazel swimming in his irises. “What did you want to tell me, mama?”
You could already feel yourself getting emotional as tears welled up in your eyes. For you, extreme sensitivity was definitely a major symptom of your pregnancy. Azriel smiled, squeezing your hand again. With his free hand, he ran his fingers through Kai’s dark hair.
“Do you remember when your cousin Celeste was born? How excited Nyx was to have a baby sister?” Kai nodded up at his dad. “Well, the same thing is going to happen for us soon, bud. You’re going to be a big brother.”
Malakai looked at you then at Azriel, tilting his head in careful concentration. “Will my baby sister have wings too?” Your son didn’t give you a chance to reply before he shot out of the sofa, fingers curling underneath his chin in thought. “Because if she does, I’ll have to teach her how to fly. My cousins can help too, but they have to promise to be gentle. I don’t want her getting hurt.”
You were fully beaming, silver lining your eyes. “Well, we’re not sure if she’s going to have wings like daddy or powers like mommy.”
Either way, your child would most likely be able to conjure wings in some form or another given that you were a shapeshifter. Malakai settled back into your lap, pressing his ear against your stomach.
“I’ll make sure to protect her either way,” he murmurs softly.
You and Azriel stared at each other, marveling at the wonderful little boy that you two were blessed enough to call your son. You had no idea what you were worried about. You should’ve known that Kai would be more than thrilled at becoming a big brother. He already had so much practice with Celeste and Ember.
“We’re not sure if you’re going to have a sister just yet, bud.” Azriel says.
You nod, pulling him closer to your stomach. “Don’t you want a brother, Kai?”
Malakai shook his head and glanced up at you. “No, I want to take care of my sister the way that daddy takes care of you.”
You were barely holding back the tears as you pressed a kiss atop his head. Azriel gathered the both of you into the safety of his arms and you both relished the moment, hearts full and warm with this little family that you both created.
I love you, Azriel mouthed.
I love you, too, you respond.
The inner circle clambered into your home as Azriel led them in through the front door. Feyre, Nesta, and Mor flocked to your side while Cassian and Rhys clapped Azriel on the back, congratulating him for the new addition to your family.
Your mate radiated nothing but pure joy as he spoke with his brothers. Kai waved at his uncles and beckoned his cousins to come in, lifting a finger to his mouth and pointing at the bundle of joy in your arms to indicate that the small babe was sleeping. You grinned with amusement as Nyx, Celeste, and Ember quietly tiptoed towards you, settling into the plush carpets as Kai herded them into a single file line.
“It’s Asterin’s nap time, but she should be waking up now.” Kai peered into your arms, quietly checking in on his sister. When he saw that she was awake, your son smiled. “Can you say hi to our cousins, sissy?”
Nyx, Celeste, and Ember watched in quiet awe as Asterin cooed at them, hazel eyes blinking up at the smiling children.
Amren and Varian trailed after them, a small smile gracing the female’s face. “Looks like us females have finally outnumbered the males. Well done, you two.”
Mor grinned, clapping with delight. “I knew you’d be having a girl. I already have so many outfits planned.”
You chuckled. “My child is not even a week old and you’re already spoiling her rotten.”
Feyre pinched Asterin’s cheek. “You should see the crib Rhys got for her. It’s absolutely monstrous. I’m not even sure if it’s going to fit into your nursery.”
Not a hint of regret was evident on the High Lord’s face. “Only the best for my niece.”
Cassian knelt beside you as Nesta prompted Ember to sit in her lap. “Remember when you were that little, Emmy?”
Ember craned to look at her cousin, completely engrossed in the small babbling noises the baby was making. “She’s so small.”
Kai leaned over her shoulder. “If you give her your finger, she’ll wrap her entire hand around it. Wanna see, Em?”
Ember nodded and allowed Kai to guide her hand over to Asterin. Your daughter cooed and wrapped her fingers around Ember’s pointer finger. The little girl squealed in delight.
“He’s so good with her,” Feyre observed with a smile.
You nod, ruffling Kai’s hair. “Kai hasn’t left her side since we came home. Between him and Az, my daughter doesn’t stand a chance.”
When you were pregnant with Kai, you thought Azriel’s doting behavior was extreme, but now you had two mother hens on your hands. Both your mate and son constantly checked in on Asterin, making sure she was comfortable and always checking in at the baby’s slightest coo. You couldn’t complain though. Kai’s excitement to help feed your daughter and change her diapers was extremely endearing.
Nyx and Celeste fawned over their cousin for a few more minutes until they were itching to play. They beckoned Ember and Kai to join them outside. Your son looked reluctant to leave, tugging at his father's sleeve to grab Azriel's attention.
“Papa, can I go play?”
Azriel gave him a nod of approval, telling him to be careful. Your mate settles in beside you, taking Asterin from your arms so you could have time to catch up with your friends. You watch with a fond smile as Azriel smiled down at your daughter and spoke to her in a low, gentle voice that made your heart ache in your chest.
Kai saunters up between Azriel’s legs, placing a kiss on his sister’s forehead. “I’m gonna go outside for a little bit sissy, but don’t worry. Pretty soon, you’ll be able to play with us too.”
“Not too soon,” Azriel adds under his breath as he cradles your daughter in his arms.
You chuckled, playfully rolling your eyes. “Insufferable mother hen.”
Your mate grins. “I can’t help it. We made the perfect children.”
With a full heart and aching cheeks, you leaned over and placed a kiss on his cheek. “That we did.”
Falling Part III
Azriel x Reader
Warnings: slight discussions of trauma/depressive thoughts
A/N: This is the longest chapter so far! thank you so much to everyone who has shown this story love it makes my heart so happy when you like, reblog, and comment like I want to jump through the screen and kiss all of you. ANYWAYS my requests are open as usual so ask away and enjoy this chapter <3
Part I, Part II
Lucien was a good male. He understood my need for silence and didn’t push me to talk the entire walk back to the House of Wind. He only spoke once, gently asking me if it was alright to pick me up so he could winnow us inside the wards. I silently nodded my head, knowing that if I tried to speak my voice would come out weak and cracked. He delicately picked me up, as if the brokenness that resided within me had made its way onto my physical form, he handled me like I was cracked porcelain, and one wrong move would shatter me completely.
Lucien even went so far as to walk me directly to my bedroom. My footsteps halting at the door as I turned around to thank him for his kindness, for helping me tonight. I opened my mouth, trying to form the words when he disrupted the silence.
“Its Azriel isn’t it” he said softly, not wanting to startle me but needing confirmation of what he too saw tonight.
I slowly nodded, turning the doorknob, and stepping into the dark room illuminated only by the moon as it shone through the window, soft shadows dancing within the space. Lucien followed; and for a moment I wondered if he too needed a friend, someone to comfort him as he had me.
“And he is with Elain…” he spoke it out loud, not as a question but to speak his reality into existence. As though he needed to hear it himself to believe it.
I nodded my head again as he brought his hand up to his eyes, rubbing it down his face until it settled over his mouth. An anguished look resting along his features. He made his way across the room to sit in one of the plush chairs in the corner lowering his head into his hands, and bringing both to rest between his knees, his shoulders softly shaking. I made my way to my dressing room, wanting to give the male privacy and change out of my clothes suddenly feeling suffocated by the fabric.
I quickly strip off the dress discarding it in a pile in the corner and opt for a simple soft blue silk nightgown to sleep in. Once changed, I make my way to the bathroom, washing the makeup off my face before returning to Lucien, who is in the same position he took when I left him. I make my way over, kneeling gently in front of him and bring my hands to rest on his knees. He slowly looks up at me, the moonlight reflecting off the wetness on his cheeks, evidence enough that he had been crying. That this news was a shock to him, and he felt it as deeply as I did.
For a brief moment, I felt relieved, we may have been two broken souls alone together in the moonlight, but at least there was someone who understood the vast depths of this pain, someone who could understand the suffocating ache that resided in my chest, someone who could understand the invisible pull that I felt towards a mate who would not offer me so much as a glance. It was a strange and comforting vulnerability and although I was not glad that he was in pain, I was glad that I had someone in this world who could empathize.
“Do you want to talk about it?” I ask rubbing small comforting circles on his knees as I knelt before him.
“Not particularly” he says softly, his voice hoarse and rough.
I nod, removing my hands from his knees as he stands. “I should probably go” he says, although rather than moving towards the door his heels remain planted in front of me. His hand reaching out as a silent offering to help me from my kneeling position. I give him a look of gratitude as I take it and rise from the floor.
“Can you stay?” I ask, taking a deep breath before continuing “I just- I don’t want to be alone right now.”
He takes a long breath, my offer ringing in the air. My body tenses, hesitantly waiting for his reply. I want to open my mouth and take it back, perhaps I overstepped what he is in a position to give right now. I quickly think, but after what feels like an eternity, he looks at me and says “I don’t either”
Our eyes lock, a mutual understanding hanging in the air that there was nothing romantic in this. It was simply two broken people seeking out support in each other. “I’ll be right back” I say breaking the brief silence that had settled over the room. I turn towards the door and quickly exit the space; I was going to Cassian and Nesta’s room to borrow some sleep clothes for Lucien. I knew they wouldn’t mind being that they were all still enjoying the vibrant nightlife that Velaris had to offer. After quickly raiding Cassian’s closet I make my way through the dark halls back to my bedroom only noticed by the watchful eyes of the house itself.
I quietly entered the room, closing the door behind me and was surprised to see the room cast in a soft orange glow, the gentle sounds of a crackling fire filling the room. It appeared that while I was gone, Lucien took it upon himself to get a fire going. I was grateful for such a small act as I felt the hearth’s warmth slowly sink into my bones melting away the chill brought on by the frigid night air.
“I thought you might want something more comfortable to sleep in” I say while handing the bundle of clothing out to him and point to the door across the room “the bathroom is over there; you are welcome to anything in there”
He gives me a small nod, taking the clothing into the washroom as the door closes behind him with a soft click. Now somewhat alone, I pull the covers down on my side of the bed, climbing in and pulling them up to my waist. I adjust the pillows and lean against the headboard, my mind reflecting on the events of the night but before I can dwell further on it the door reopens, and Lucien emerges in just the soft linen pants I provided. His bare chest gleaming in the firelight as he makes his way to the opposite side of the bed.
“I don’t usually sleep in a shirt, I hope that’s alright” he says pulling the covers down and settling in, bringing the blankets to rest around his waist. I simply nod, exhaustion beginning to pull on my body.
He gently pulls me into him, my back rests against his chest as he wraps his arms around me tucking my head under his chin. “We will get through this” he murmurs into my hair pressing a soft kiss there. I can’t help the tears that spring into my eyes and Lucien simply holds me while the events of the day come flooding back, my heart aching in tandem with his own. I don’t remember when the tears stop but we lay like that until I let the sweet embrace of sleep take me.
I wake up to the delicate sounds of rain pattering against my window and roll over, stretching out my limbs. As I turn over, I am met by the sight of Lucien sitting up in my bed, his back propped against the headboard as he reads a book. “Good morning y/n” he says “I didn’t want to wake you; It seems like you were in desperate need of uninterrupted sleep”
“I don’t really sleep well these days, to be honest” I say, my mouth opening into an involuntary yawn. “This is the best I’ve gotten in weeks” I finish.
“Happy to be of service” Lucien says, slowly rising out of the bed “Do you mind if I use your bath?” he asks making his way to the washroom.
“Of course, not Vanserra” I flash him a smile “in fact I insist. because if we’re being honest, which is where I think our friendship stands after last night, you have the worst bedhead I have ever seen and your breath? horrendous” He laughs and flashes me an obscene gesture closing the door behind him.
He quickly bathes and dresses in his clothes from last night, simple pants and a green tunic adorned with gold embroidery. He sits in the chair in the corner of the room to lace up his boots and makes his way to where I was, where I had remained sitting on the bed. He sits beside me taking my hand in his.
“Y/n because I value you and our friendship” he begins “you get two days” he says firmly “two days to sulk, and cry, and lick your wounds and pity yourself and then you get up and you move past it. Do not give him” he pauses “do not give them; control over who you are. You are more than someone’s mate as am I. You are strong, and intelligent, and training to be a Valkyrie for cauldron’s sake. Channel yourself into that.” He gently squeezes me hand before rising.
“And you’ll do the same?” I question
“I wouldn’t give you advice I myself would not heed.” He makes his way to the door slowly opening it and stepping into the hall.
“Thank you for everything y/n”
I simply pull him into a tight hug “no need for that Vanserra, you were as much my savior last night as I was yours”
We pull away as soft steps sound from down the hall. The universe was a cruel place I think as Elain rounds the corner, her steps faltering as she notices the scene before her; Lucien leaving my bedroom in the morning after we had disappeared together, he was in his clothing from the night before and I only wore a nightgown. Gods only knows what assumptions she made in that moment. She quickly gives us a wave before continuing on her path, disappearing into another hall.
Lucien simply gives me a smirk as if to say let her draw her own conclusions. As he turns and walks way.
I close the door behind me, returning to my position in bed. Lucien’s advice still lingering in the air. I look out the window, the dark storm clouds casting the normally vibrant city into a perpetual state of gloom.
Two days, I can do that. I think before hurling the covers over my head drowning out the world.
Once again sleep had eluded me which is why I was currently making my way up to the roof at this ungodly hour. I had decided that instead of continuing to stare at my ceiling I would much rather gaze at the stars, I could also use the fresh air and cool nights like this tended to clear my mind.
I open the door and make my way to the edge of the roof, quickly jumping onto the thick railing and swinging my legs over to dangle them over the side. There was a lot of space, so much that I could fully lay back, bringing my hands to rest behind my head, my knees carelessly swinging my feet back and forth into the empty space below me. I don’t know how long I lay there, looking for constellations and thinking about the last few weeks.
“Can’t sleep?” a familiar voice says from the shadows
I can’t help but jump at the sudden interruption “do you make it a habit to sneak up on women in the middle of the night shadowsinger?” I slowly sit up, turning slightly to face him.
He chuckles “I made an exception for you.” He pauses “do you mind if I join you?”
“I suppose not” I say tapping the empty space beside me, Azriel’s wings flare slightly as he shifts himself down dangling his feet over the edge. His knee coming to rest against my own.
His shadows suddenly emerge, swirling like dark clouds up my forearms and around my torso, a few even coming to caress my face. I can’t help but smile at their presence as I look at them in awe. Bringing a finger to touch one as it swirls around my hand.
His eyes go wide, fear evident in his look. His hands reach out in a silent order to them to return to their master. “y/n I am so sorry, that has never happened. They have never done that before” His voice sounds rushed and panicked. “Are you alright” he asks observing me for any indication that I wouldn’t be.
“Yeah Az, I’m fine” I say “in fact, I like them”
Relief floods his features as he cocks his head to the side, taking in my words “You- you like them?”
“They are unique, and different, I’ve ever seen anything like them. I think they’re even sort of beautiful” I finally say.
Beautiful. He mouths the word “you aren’t afraid of them?” he asks
“I know they wouldn’t hurt me” I say confidently
“How can you be so sure they wouldn’t” his question lingers as I contemplate my response
“Because I know you wouldn’t hurt me - at least not intentionally” I say looking back up at the stars.
My words hang in the air as we sit in the silence. I look over at him “so what brings you up here at this time of night”
“I was working on reports earlier for Rhys and before I knew it hours had gone by. I was headed to my room but just felt like I needed to come up here instead” his gaze met mine “what about you”
“I couldn’t sleep” I said softly “I’ve had a lot on my mind recently, and I just couldn’t put a damper on my thoughts”
“Well, what’s been on your mind” he asks “maybe talking about it will help”
“I don’t know if that’s a go-”
“It’s the least I can do” he cuts me off “come on y/n”
I take a deep inhale “I guess” I trail off trying to find the words “I guess I don’t feel like I belong here…I mean everyone has someone, Cassian has Nesta, Amren has Varian, Rhys has Feyre, and you- you have Elain.” I take a deep breath “I guess these days I feel like I don’t really belong anywhere, like no one would notice if I just disappeared” I shift my gaze to look out at the distant city lights.
“I would notice” he said
I flash him a small smile “well you are the spymaster for the night court, if you failed to notice a missing person from the inner circle, I would highly doubt your abilities” he lets out a laugh, and I can’t help but think it was one of the most delightful sounds I have ever heard.
We sat in silence both looking up at the night sky.
After a while of comfortable silence, the shadowsinger rises from his position next to me. “I should head inside” he says “thanks for the chat y/n”
“Goodnight Az” I mutter softly, feeling one of his shadows gently caress my shoulder as he disappeared into the house.
Not soon after he left, I made my way back to my room and as I settle in my bed the conversation runs through my head one last time before my eyelids grow heavy and I fall asleep.
The weeks after that night on the rooftop blurred by.
I took Lucien and Nesta’s advice and threw myself into the comfort of a routine, relished in it even. I was constantly training, either by myself to build my stamina or with the Valkyries and I was spending a lot of time helping Feyre with winter solstice preparations as we were only a week away from the holiday. In fact, today after training I was going into Velaris to shop for solstice gifts with Feyre and Nyx. Once bathing the dirt and sweat off myself and dressing for the day I made my way to the sitting room, where I was meeting Rhysand to winnow to the River House.
However, when I got to the sitting room it wasn’t the high lord I came face-to-face with but rather the spymaster. We had exchanged pleasantries since the night on the rooftop and would train together and have meals together, but I still felt nervous in his presence. He slowly turned to me.
“Rhys got called away early this morning to deal with a skirmish at one of the Illyrian camps, he sent a note asking if I could drop you at the River House today”
“That’s nice of you” I said cursing myself for such an awkward response.
“It’s no trouble, I have some things to deal with there anyways” he takes a step towards me “are you ready to go?”
I nod my head and walk towards him. We had been in close proximity in training, but this somehow felt different. The air felt like it was charged with electricity, he held out his gloved hand which I took without question as he pulled me close, his scent of night-chilled mist and cedar enveloping me, his shadows swirling around us as he made that jump between spaces. When we arrived in the River House I thanked Az before slowly stepping out of his embrace as the high lady walked into the room. Feyre’s eyes glanced between us before she had me follow her through the house to retrieve Nyx.
We made our way outside to the gardens, where Elain sat with Nyx on a blanket, the little prince babbling and laughing, his dark hair gleaming in the sunlight. Feyre made her way over to him, gently scooping him in her arms and pressing a finger to his nose “are you ready to go spend time with aunt y/n my darling” she cooed quickly thanking Elain for watching him.
I offered Elain a simple smile and nod as I followed the high lady back through the house to get Nyx’s stroller and toys to keep him occupied while we shopped. I had a lot of time in the past few weeks to contemplate Elain, and my whole situation in general and I had come to the conclusion that I didn’t hate her. How could I? she was gentle and quiet; she spent her days tending to flowers and cared nothing for the conversations about what was coming. She was a human in a fae body, still clinging to what she could of her old life. I couldn’t help but think that given the choice between me and her I didn’t blame Azriel for choosing her, it would be easier to love her. Maybe that made me insane, but I wanted to be chosen because of who I was and what I made him feel, not because of this bond that told us we were meant for each other. I shook the thoughts from my head as Feyre and I made our way out of the house and onto the streets of Velaris.
Walking through the shops proved to be very successful. So far, I had picked up some stunning silver and emerald pieces for Amren, a collection of romance books for Nesta, a selection of sheet music for Gwyn, a new thigh sheath for Emerie, and a pair of satin slippers for Mor. The only people I still needed to shop for being the high lord and lady, little Nyx of course, Cassian, Lucien and Azriel.
Feyre and I had decided to pick up supplies for an impromptu picnic in one of our favorite parks, we set a large blanket down and laid Nyx with his favorite toy, which currently was a stuffed wyvern, and arranged the food for ourselves while we talked.
The conversation flowed from topic to topic, what were the new solstice plans, how was training, what was new with Nyx, the library, house renovations and general girl talk before the high lady said “when are you going to tell Azriel you’re his mate” I immediately froze, the blood draining from my face as I took in her words.
“How did you-”
“I saw your face in the study when you arrived, and I may have looked into your mind where I may have seen the bond snap into place for you” she said quickly “and before you say it, yes I know it was a huge invasion of privacy and I am sorry for that, but this is a big deal”
“I know it’s a big deal, but it also doesn’t change anything, he is in a relationship with your sister, he is happy, and I am not going to ruin that for him by telling him something he may not even want.” I huff
“y/n, I’m not trying to tell you what to do but I know how angry I was with Rhys for keeping the bond a secret from me as long as he did. He had the same reasoning; he was going to watch me marry Tamlin and suffer the rest of his life if it meant that I was happy. He had no idea I wasn’t happy there. All I am saying is you might think you are doing the right thing, but what if you are taking the choice away from him.”
“I don’t want him to choose me simply because the cauldron decided we were meant to be. I want him to choose me because it’s what he wants.” I say looking over at Nyx who is enthralled by the butterfly that has landed on his nose.
“Just think it over” Feyre says “I think he deserves to know”
“I will” I say softly
My conversation with the high lady remains in my head long after we parted. Maybe she was right, just because the mating bond existed didn’t mean it had to be acted upon. After all, Elain was mated to Lucien but that didn’t stop her from being with Az, so maybe this wouldn’t either, although a small part of me hoped it would change everything. I knew then what I was going to do.
Winter Solstice, I decided. I would tell him about the bond at the Winter Solstice party.
Next Part ->
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AZRIEL: i had to leave - part one
note : slay acotarrrrrrrr yas
part one | part two | part three
pairing : azriel x fem!archeron!reader
warnings : angst, numbness, depression, unrequited love (in the form of a mating bond), the inner circle being blind, jealousy, self-hatred, we love feyre, leaving, an ending that might elude some things.
words : 1.1k (1153)
summary : y/n archeron, the eldest sister, is mated to azriel. but azriel isn’t aware of this. this paired with the trauma of being made makes y/n make drastic decisions.
After Y/N was thrown into The Cauldron, she forced herself not to drink water for a week, and since she was now…fae, she thankfully survived.
That was until she collapsed whilst attempting to talk to Elain. She didn’t know who exactly had caught her when she fell, but she woke up with water being forced down her throat.
Not exactly the best way to combat trauma.
Was this a dream?
“Good morning,” she said to Azriel as she entered the library. She sat down by the unlit fireplace, opening her book and trying not to feel that hope as he sent a friendly greeting back.
“Good book?” he asked.
“It’s okay,” she replied. “It's a bit boring for now.”
“Hm,” he hummed. “You know, you could choose a different one.”
“I’m invested,” she joked. She watched—bewildered—as he smiled. What the fuck? Her heart was moving too fast for her body to keep up, and she feared a heart attack when he looked her straight in the eyes. “Am I amusing you?”
“It’s good that you’re regaining your humour,” he noted, and then picked up a book about gardening and left the library. To her knowledge, he wasn’t into gardening, and she felt a rip in her mood as she realised he was leaving her—his mate, though he didn’t seem to want her—to find her sister.
She didn’t want to read anymore but forced herself to read the book, because she wasn’t going to quit. She would survive this.
At least she wasn’t taking it out on the people who only tried to help them, like Nesta was. That was her only comforting thought.
She’d smile at Azriel’s quietness and Cassian’s jokes and Rhysand’s kindness. She’d try to forgive Nesta without receiving a reason to. She’d do her best to accept Elain’s new behaviour, even if she wanted to cry and ask why she was hurting her.
And when Feyre tried to fix their messy family, she’d do everything she could to make sure that she didn’t think less of Feyre just because they were both different from their human lives.
Unlike Elain, she wasn’t filled with that sadness, and unlike Nesta, she wasn’t angry. She was turning… numb. She felt empty. She hadn’t felt this numbness since she was small, and her mother was berating her.
She felt empty looking at her old clothes that were now just a harsh reminder of her old life. She felt empty watching her sister and Rhysand embracing when she returned. She felt purposeless when the threat of violence persisted over the world she was now stuck in. Fighting was futile when she felt alone, no matter how much Feyre joined her in her room, holding her cold hand as she explained the new world in great detail.
But she felt the most gone from the world as she watched Azriel, the Spymaster and Shadowsinger, chase after Elain when Y/N had felt that bond the day she was Made.
She missed her old house, no matter how run down. She missed her mother, no matter how painful loving her was. She missed her father, no matter how little he loved her. She missed struggling to survive, because then she had something to work for. Here, she could ask for her own castle, and she’d probably receive one at the end of the day.
She missed living and she missed loving.
That was one of the reasons she chose to leave.
Elain was blushing.
Azriel was smiling.
At the dinner table.
They made a joke about their food, and promptly shared it.
Y/N felt nauseous and didn’t eat.
No one noticed, too happy that Elain was leaving her sadness behind.
Elain had this carefulness about her that must’ve made Azriel comfortable around her—comfortable enough to love her even with all her broken parts. And no matter how much Y/N distorted herself, she couldn’t be Elain.
“And then!” Cassian howled with laughter as he told some story about some warrior he’d met at some point in time. “Then he passed out!”
She felt like the odd one out in the room. Elain smiled that nice smile that was so kind, Feyre grinned, holding hands with Rhysand and even Nesta lifted one side of her mouth, but dropped it when Cassian noticed. Azriel smiled both at Cassian and at the smile on Elain’s face.
Y/N didn’t deserve this. A family. Not anymore. She was selfish and wanted the one piece of happiness her sister had.
But the twinge of pain she felt when Azriel whispered something in Elain’s ear broke a part of her that her numbness had yet to reach. The line connecting them was stuck in the middle, unreciprocated and unwanted.
She longed for the feeling that was described in the books or the way that Feyre described loving Rhysand as.
They were going out tonight. Dancing, drinking and “fun”. It would usually end with Y/N hearing the drunken ramblings of Feyre, complaining of her feet aching and professing her love for her mate who would grin and help her to bed.
Y/N made an attempt to talk to Azriel that day, saying ‘hello’. He said ‘hello’ back, and his voice made her heart skip a beat.
They talked for a minute before Elain moved to the garden and Azriel followed, helping her before guiding her to get ready for tonight. Nesta and Elain were getting more used to who they were.
And even though Elain had a mate who made every attempt to deserve her love, Elain had to choose to latch herself onto the one who was supposed to care for her, not her sister. It hurt to hate her own sister. It wasn’t her fault. No one knew.
She chose not to go, because no one wanted her there. No matter how much Feyre promised they did, the pitiful looks from Mor or the sad looks from Feyre and Rhysand would be enough to make her crack. But she’d also have to watch Azriel be comfortable and happy and know that she had no part in it.
She chose to leave before they made her. She didn’t have the right to take their money or live in their house or yearn for something as selfish as love.
I want to go home.
The only entry in the notebook she received from Feyre as a way to get her feelings out.
I want my home back.
No amount of begging to the Mother could help her home. None of the money from Rhysand would grant her the happiness she wanted.
She would escape tonight.
She wouldn’t take any of the luxuries Rhysand had so kindly offered her and her sisters. She would only take the few things that had been taken from her old home. A couple of clothes and two knives.
She’d survive even this.
bloody cabin | AZRIEL X READER
A/N: why is it that every time i write fanfic its like sneezing... i have no idea whats gonna come out and im shocked by the experience GIRL IM THE ONE WRITING ITFDSJH yeah so this is messy im sorry but its kinda cute ig? shes chonky, i meant for the prompt requests to be short little headcanony things but... again i was not in control of my body lmao
ALSO this is quite adult content pls heed the warnings. I'd love to expand more into writing whumpy, gory adult stuff
request: “Azriel X reader, 8 and 10 please!!”
8.Patching up wounds, 10.Washing one's hair/helping them bathe after a long day.
WORD COUNT: 6K
warnings: uh i would probably call this 18+. Detailed description of injuries and violence. Trauma, PTSD, burns, fire, scars, anxiety, nudity, undressing, mentions of sex. bathing, fixing up, dealing with trauma, mission gone wrong.
You knew something was wrong before you actually found out. Something in your gut just wasn't right, a unnerving sense that fired the adrenaline in your body with no way to burn it off but to pace the cabin. Azriel should've been back by now. That was the agreement. You would meet at the tiny, unoccupied inbetween house, him and Cassian coming from another side of the mission miles away.
You peered out the window for what must've been the fiftieth time. The weather was biting, cold enough to chill the window panes and make it fog when you pressed a finger to it, but not enough that it should've presented a problem in their journey. Darkness had already fallen, the cover of night beginning to blanket the barren trees surrounding the cabin. The window provided answers to nothing, so you turned and made your way back to the small, crackling fire you managed. You grabbed the iron poke and stabbed at the logs, shifting them as tiny embers flared and sparked outwards.
You didn't know what would happen if something had befallen the two Illyrians. Partially because they were your ride home, and their part of the plan was crucial, but mostly because the very thought of your family being hurt made everything twist and ache within you. Especially the thought of Azriel— the spymaster who had claimed your heart. The male had been through so much already, you knew he was capable of enduring a lot but it didn't lessen the ache any. You needed to know he was okay before you ripped your hair out from the anxiety of waiting.
It was quiet in the cabin. Silent aside from the wind hitting against the walls, the crackling fire, and the occasional sound of fabric against fabric every time you shifted. It was so quiet. You had been paying the closest attention to every noise for the past several hours— on edge expecting an familiar face to turn up, or preparing yourself if something less friendly decided to show its face.
But even with the silence in the cabin, you didn't hear the footsteps outside. Only aware of a new presence when the cabin door burst open, creaking loudly and sending you shooting across the worn sofa with a hand clutched to your chest. You whirled the second the door opened, but it still took you several moments to compose yourself and process that the dark towering frame in the doorway was Azriel. You nearly gasp out of relief, but your brows draw together when he walks in. Something was wrong. The way he was walking, the way he was carrying himself, his wings... Something was wrong.
"Az," it sounded like a plea.
You rush up from the couch to where he's moved to the round dining table. The door is still open and wind blustering in when he sags against the table, weak and out of breath. In the warm, dim light of the fire and lanterns around the cabin, there's blood clearly smattered across Azriel. His face is smeared, his hair caked with it, his armor glistening and his wings dripping.
You grasp the door, preparing to shut it but waiting for the second Illyrian to appear. You didn't try to hide the concern in your voice. "Where's Cassian?"
"He's fine." Azriel rasped out like it was an effort, but one worth pushing through. He swallows and it almost seems like he's panting, the way he's so out of breath. "The orders changed, he's staying somewhere else."
With that, you shut the door, closing off the bitter winds that had poured into your solstice. That concern you felt at the possibility of Azriel being hurt was magnified ten fold at seeing it in front of you. You didn't even know what to do. It was so unlike him to be this weakened that your mind drew up blank. He'd been hurt before. Badly. But every time there'd been someone else there to help him or he'd been well enough to fix himself. This... You didn't know how to deal with this.
"What happened?" You whispered, closing in on his space. The coppery scent of blood flooded your nostrils as you moved closer and you ignored the way it made your throat tighten. Your hand hovered in his proximity, not sure where to go or what to do.
Azriel looked up at you, hazel eyes dulled with a weariness you hadn't seen him wear... Ever.
He swallowed hard and his eyelids shuttered, breaking contact with you in favor for an unfocused stare across the room. "It was bad. It went worse than we expected and they..."
You were waiting for him to finish the sentence, but something about it told you that he did. That was all he would share of it. Whatever had happened was enough to rattle him and close him off. He wasn't right and you needed to do something.
"Okay," You kept your voice soft. You look around, collecting a mental list of things you need to do, and things to help Azriel. You didn't even know how badly injured he was. "Sit down."
He moves to the couch wordlessly, though the way he limbers, careful and stiff, it was easy to tell there were several injuries for you to worry about. You grabbed him a glass of water from the poor, makeshift kitchen that was part of the main room, and once he was fixed with that, you filled a large pot of water and set it over the fire to heat.
The old feeble couch squeaked when you sat down on it beside Azriel. Your eyes met his for a long second. A weighted second of everything and nothing passing between you two. You two were in the beginning stages of you relationship... Or whatever it was. A fact that shouldn’t have made anything different, but for some reason it did. The nerves you still had around him, the way you might not have been so invested and concerned if you didn’t love him the way you did.
"Where are you hurt?" It takes an absurd amount of willpower to give you the push of confidence to lean forward and begin undoing the straps of his leathers and armors.
Azriel looks down at your hands, his own scarred one still holding the half glass of water. He watches as you unsteadily work the clasps. "I took a hit..." His voice is hoarse and gravely and you try not to think that it's likely from screaming. "I think I cracked a few ribs"
You pause and sigh through your nostrils in displeasure. Not at him, but at the fact that he'd been hurt. He was so distant, so clinical and absent. You’ve been working at undoing his holsters and straps for a few minutes, setting them on the short wooden coffee table in front of you, before you give his face another scan, searching it. Azriel’s eyes are glazed and distant, fixed on the crackling fire in front of him, unmoving aside from the slight rise and fall of his breaths. You’d seen him get that look before around fire and it made your insides twist to think why. It made them twist to see him in this state, so raw and hurt.
You pause your work on removing his armor and weapons to bring a hand up to cup his cheek, a gentle comfort. “We’re gonna get you fixed up.” You push back his caked and dirty black hair, “Okay?”
His eyelids shutter with a soft nod and you click your tongue, running your hand over his cheek once more before you continue unfastening everything. You could tell his thoughts would drift and swallow him if you didn’t at least attempt a distraction, so you talked to him. Gave him something to focus on besides the last few hours he’d endured.
“Are you hungry?”
Most of his clasps and buckles had been undone, but you knew at some point he would stop you. Azriel was sensitive about who touched his weapons, Truth Teller in particular. You waited for him to stop you in your ministrations but more and more belts and sheaths slid off and he didn’t stop you.
He shook his head once, his jaw still tense, the muscles in it sharp.
You were desperate to ask more details of what went wrong but you knew it would only make things worse. Details could wait until Azriel was stable and cared for.
He leaned forward, helping you discard his belts onto the coffee table and clutching his ribs from the movement. You gently pushed back on his shoulder and he sat back onto the couch, getting the message that you didn’t want him to try to help and worsen his injuries. Azriel hands you the half drained glass of water and you place it on the table as well,
“What do you need?” You asked, your words quieter than the wind against the side of the cabin. With all his armor and weapons shed, you’d begun to work on his leathers, but you paused, your hand resting on his chest until he answered.
“I just need to get cleaned up and rest.” He finally looks at you, his eyes softer than you’d seen them tonight. You could see it in them--- that emotion that often reflected in his eyes when he looked at you. Something gentle, almost loving, When he looked at you like that, it felt like he was taking you apart, piece by piece with only his gaze. Seeing every part of you, vulnerable and thrumming beneath him.
A scarred hand lifts to touch some of your hair that had fallen loose, almost as if he was mesmerized by it. His hands didn’t shake, though you knew they should after everything. If not from the sheer adrenaline then from the pain. But it didn’t, not as it whispered over your hair and then lowered down into his lap. You’re not sure why the attention made your throat swell with the threat of tears while your cheeks burned under his gaze, but it did.
You set back to work on his leathers, the clothing coming off easily once all the straps and holsters inhibiting it had been removed. You tugged it off, revealing tanned muscles and swirling black tattoos. You’d seen Azriel shirtless more times than you could count. Most often after training, when he’d show up with marks and bruises across his perfect body and face. Even after having him in your bed a few times, you weren’t used to it yet. He still made you nervous, his body still didn’t feel like it was yours to touch and gawk at, even if he had no problem with you doing so. The sight of him still made your heartbeat pick up so fast you knew he could hear it.
And when the corner of his lip curled up ever so slightly with amusement, you knew you’d been caught.
“Shut up.” You mumbled through a smile.
The corners of his mouth deepened at your response but you were thankful for the it, even if it was at the expense of your pride. He was distracted. Your cheeks heat under his knowing stare, watching you like a hawk, seeing every part of you.
“Didn’t know I had that kind of effect on you,” He mused simply and looked back to the fire.
“Yes, you did.” You glance up to his eyes before pulling off the rest of his leathers. His pants would be another effort, the numerous holsters and plates complicating things enough that you didn’t think they were worth removing until everything else was treated. He didn’t complain of any injuries below his waist, so it’s likely your effort would only result in flushing your cheeks and making it hard to look at him if you set about removing them.
You’re about to pull down the top of his leather and reveal any injuries, when Azriel stops you with a hand.
“I’m not badly hurt.”
Your brows furrow in confusion. Aside from the cracked ribs and dripping blood, even the way he was carrying himself and staring into nothing was enough to tell you he was in pain.
He must see the questions in your face because he adds “It was a hard mission--- I’m tired, but I’m not badly hurt.” Azriel breaks eye contact to look at his lap, pressing a hand over where his ribs must be hurt. “I just wanted to let you know.”
Yours brows are still furrowed when you look back down to his chest, peeling off the layers of leather as you go. If he wasn’t badly hurt like he claimed, then whatever was weighing on him wasn’t physical.
“Do you want to talk about what happened?” Your tone is careful, eyes flicking up to his and then back down. There’s blood smeared nearly everywhere on the inside of his leathers.
He’s guarded. Sharp, cold walls shifting into place behind his eyes. Not against you, you note, but against whatever had happened. What had he witnessed?
With the top portion of his leathers gone, though, there was nothing to hide the trauma to his body. Purple and black bruises forming across the surface of his skin, That, in addition to the blood. It was everywhere, seeping from a large scrape across his ribs. With the confines of the leather and the way his skin had been ripped off from some kind of harsh impact, blood had pooled in his armor and smeared around, leaking through any crevices it could.
“Az, this looks...” You trail, not wanting to tell him it looked bad, as that was probably poor bedside manner, but it did look bad. “You would appear to be badly hurt.” The technicality in your words a poor attempt at a joke. He smiles.
“I’m not. I’m just sore and feel really gross.” His voice is still raspy but the way it was lighter brought you some peace.
“I have a bath running now. The water’s not heated, so that’s what that’s for,” You nod to the pot of now-boiling water over the fire.
With the reminder of its existence, you pause your work on Azriel and haul the scalding pot to the washroom. With your back turned to him, you missed the way he flinched and lunged at your careless proximity to the fire. The tub in the washroom wasn’t the luxury you were used to at any of Rhy’s houses, but it would suffice for tonight. You turned off the faucet, deeming it sufficiently filled and then proceeded to dump the large pot of hot water into it. The sudden addition of boiling water into the cold hissed and steamed, the sound of the splashes echoing in the quiet room
When you returned to Az, he was standing from the couch, undoing what he could of his thigh holsters and buckles without bending over and straining his injury. It was a vain effort, more blood spreading and his ribs visibly paining him.
“Stop that,” You warned from your place at the washroom doorway, the large pot still in your hand. You walked it into the kitchen and filled it up at the sink. “I’ll do it, just let me do this first.”
He watched you, your eyes meeting as the pot quickly filled with cold water that hissed when it made contact with the hot metal.
“I can do it myself.” Azriel reassures and you have a suspicion that it’s his pride speaking more than anything else.
You turn the faucet off, pot full. “But you’re not going to.” You heft it out of the sink and carry it over to the fire, careful to not bump yourself on the metal as you do so.
As you set it on the fire, a hand lightly grasps your bicep. Az wasn’t one for casual touches, so you immediately turned to him, still trying to get the pot set up on the fire rack.
You’re even more confused now, almost pausing your effort.
“Just... be careful with that.” He forces the words out and releases your arm, turning away but not completely so.
A few more heartbeats of confusion follow before it finally clicks and you heart seems to stop with the ache that consumes it. You secure the pot and straighten up, brows curved upward. “Az,” You whisper, reaching out a hand to his arm.
He doesn’t move. He doesn’t flinch away, or lean into the touch. He’s just... Still.
Your throat constricts with emotions you can’t put names to. “Az. What happened?”
You knew about his past. You knew he was never fond of fire after that, but he’d never been like this around it. Fires warming the townhouse and the House of Wind were a constant in the cooler months and the shadowsinger had never had an issue with sitting in front of them with a drink or a book. Something must’ve happened on the mission to make him react this way. Something so sensitive to him that he refuses to speak, or acknowledge it.
Azriel’s jaw is tensed to iron and his throat bobs before he speaks. “It was n-” He stops himself before he can say what you knew was going to be nothing. It wasn’t nothing. “It was just too much to tell tonight.”
An answer you hadn’t been expecting. You nod and look down, focusing on getting off his lower buckles and straps instead of the vulnerability he’d just expressed. You’ll care for him physically now, and when he’s ready for you help him through the mental scars then you’ll do that too.
Your hands drop to his upper thigh, ignoring how close the buckles were to his center. Azriel’s eyes didn’t move from you as you tried to steady yourself and focusing only on getting the buckles off and nothing else. You didn’t know if your fingers brushing against him through his leathers had him half-hard and you didn’t look to find out. The holsters and straps come off easily enough, though it feels like they took years longer than his upper body ones had, your lingering proximity to a place you couldn’t think about right then. The knives strapped to his lower calves gave you no choice but to lower yourself to your knees to get them off. You look up to his face for a split second, the curiosity of his reaction outweighing your business mode. His brows were raised and you knew from the angle it probably looked more inappropriate than you had initially thought it would. If your eyes looked like fuck-me eyes from that angle, you rolled them at his reaction, turning them into oh-fuck-me eyes.
He snorted. “Is this why you wanted to do this? All an elaborate attempt to bed me?” You stand up, meeting him face to face. He adds in a low voice, “again.”
Your cheeks instantly flush at the reference to your previous affairs with him, your stomach flipping with the effect his voice had on you.
“If I wanted to bed you again, I wouldn’t need an elaborate plan.” You smirk and undo the laces of his pants with one swift tug, ignoring his shock at your comeback. “These come off, then get in the tub.”
“Y/N, you don’t have to do this.” Azriel says, a reminder of sorts. One that you can’t help but feel is either self-deprecating or part of his guarded pride once again.
“I’m taking care of you.” Your voice is commanding, in a low, gentle way.
When the second pot of hot water is added, heating it to comfortable temperature, and Azriel is effectively disrobed, it doesn’t take long for the clean water to turn coppery orange at his presence. He winces when his wound makes contact with the water at first, but once seated in the tub, he sighs and sags against it in exhaustion, his eyes falling closed. You wonder how long he was flying in the cold. Illyrians were pretty resiliant against the cold, but it didn’t make long winter flights soaked in blood and injuries any more enjoyable.
You found a cup, an old stained washrag in the kitchen and a bar of soap that looked like it could’ve been older than you, but all things considered you were grateful for the resources. And then you set to work cleaning your Illyrian. He put up little protest in the state that he was in. He scooted forward and you tilted his head back, cradling it in your palm and he simply relaxed into your touch. When you poured a cupful of warm water over his hair, a breath loosed from his chest. Azriel was deflating, decompressing at last. The tension still wore heavy in his shoulders and his wings were... You could tell by the way he moved them and the way he held the muscles in his back that he was still on edge. Even if just a little. His movements were twitchier than usual. Less of the smooth, practiced way he normally moved.
The water around him grew filthier as Azriel grew cleaner. Another cup of water gently poured over his head has his hair looser from the blood and dirt that had it stiff at the ends. You ran your fingers through it and he hummed, low in his throat. You couldn’t help the soft smile that danced across your features. You worked your fingers in deeper, rubbing them along his scalp and scraping your nails against him. Azriel sighed now, all tension melting off like butter.
There wasn’t a need for words to fill the steamed air between you. You knew Azriel. You knew when he was exhausted that talking was the last thing he wanted to do. He wasn’t very talkative on a good day, but it took something extra from him to communicate when he didn’t have the energy. You knew he appreciated solitude, silence, shadows, peace. But sometimes the silence would be the wrong kind of silence for him and it grated, triggering something within him. The recessed memories of being locked up, alone and surrounded by silence.
When silence fell, it was still hard for you to tell what kind of silence it was.
You lathered the bar of soap in your hands, taking an unusually long amount of time to do so due to the shriveled and neglected nature of the bar. Once there were in fact suds, you ran them through his hair, still catching on some tangles and messy spots. The wind always gave his hair the cutest mussed style that made you want to jump him where he stood, but long journeys often resulted more knots and messes than anything else.
Azriel melted beneath your hands, color slowly returning to his complexion as he healed up and relaxed. The scent of him filled the air more than that of the blood. Purely Azriel. You wondered if he could smell you too, if he was paying enough attention. You wondered what he was thinking of, glancing down to his furrowed dark brows. He was a mystery. An enigma, but gods, he was a beautiful one at that. The angle and the lighting made his jaw a sharp cut and his cheekbones... He was truly a specimen to behold. You didn’t know how you got so lucky. A thought followed by you giving him extra attention, rubbing his scalp and running a soapy hand to rub at his sore neck.
Meanwhile, Azriel was thinking the same, dissolving into the only safe place he had. The only place he’d want to be. You were all he thought of through his entire flight. Images of you, glimpses of daydreams and memories flashed in his head at any moment in which action stalled, even during the mission. You consumed his thoughts with a pure, white hot and holy burning desire to just be near you and feel the presence you bring. You were comfort, safety, patience, and something more. Perhaps it was love, but there was something that Azriel chose to not put name to, that made him crave being near you like an addict.
And so hurt and naked in a dingy bath in a busted old cabin, Azriel breathed your presence. He sighed at the feel of your fingers on his scalp, working the muscles in his neck too. He was so irreparably in love with you it made his chest hurt to even be receiving such treatment. The gash on his side, the broken ribs and innumerable bruises were dulled to a small thought in the back of his mind when you touched him with such tenderness. The cabin was silent, aside from the crackling of the fire in the other room and the tinkling and splashing of water rinsing him off. It was the kind of silence that should’ve been peaceful, especially after such a chaotic night, but it was half the chaos of the night that made the silence unbearable. Every time his fae hearing picked up the crackle and pops of the logs in the fire, Azriel stifled a flinch or attempted to keep himself level, though it felt like it might’ve been fresh sweat appearing in the place of the sweat he just rinsed. The silence was too much tonight.
He kept his voice from shaking barely. “Talk to me, my love.”
Your brows furrowed for a split second before you understood the implication behind his words. He’d never explicitly explained to you, but somehow, he had a feeling you understood.
Your hands stilled in his hair as you thought. “What about?”
Azriel made a noise between a hum and a grunt and settled down lower in the tub, leaning against the side. “I don’t care. I just want to hear your voice.”
You’re pretty sure it was part of your broken heart that was what made it so difficult to swallow. His confession, a simple one that tore out a piece of you. A raw presentation of how much he relied on you to get him through this.
“Is it okay if I sing?” You fill up the cup, glancing to meet his fogged hazel eyes. He was looking at you and despite the way he wasn’t totally clear headed, his presence was so intense on average that under these circumstances it still made you squirm to be looked at like that.
“I’d like that.” He whispered, leaning so you could rinse his hair. You did rinse it and were immediately pleased by how much cleaner and softer it was. You couldn’t wait until all of his was cleaned and patched up and you could just rest together in the small rickety double bed.
So you offered your voice, mindlessly humming whatever popped into your head and supplying lyrics when a full song would present itself. It was quiet, a lullaby in the mellow atmosphere of the bathroom. The tile was pressing roughly into your knees by the time you realized Azriel might not even have the energy to finish the rest of his bath on his own. You ran the washcloth down his back, between two dirty bat wings and along the muscles that stood out impressively on the male. You ran it along his front, along his tattooed shoulders and over his collarbone. His eyes were burning into yours now, aware of every movement of yours on his body, but with his attention entirely on you instead of himself. On a better day you might’ve taken the time to slowly feel across the surface of his body as you knew he would give you the opportunity to, but tonight you were strictly business. You’re careful around his injury and when he winced and reached for the cloth to do it himself, you offered it away with no complaint. After he was done with the area, though, he handed it back to you.
You paused your humming, holding the cloth out to him “Did you want to do your wings?”
The automatic assumption that he didn’t want anyone touching them but himself was not just a probable guess, but an obvious assumption. If not based on Illyrian tendencies, then based on Azriel tendencies. And they needed to be washed. Blood, dirt, scratches--- and something else that you’re pretty certain is cobwebs--- cover them in a way that you knew must feel icky.
His wet, scarred hand comes up from the water to push the cloth back towards you, wordlessly.
You gape back at him, unable to process the implications of his action. “Az, don’t you... Are you sure?” Convinced there must be some way you were misunderstanding.
There were so many things about the situation that made it more than just a brief, casual touch of his wing. He was trusting you with the whole surface area of both of them. You had never even been acquainted with the methods and rules of touching them casually. Like, how sensitive were they? If you rubbed the washcloth on them would that be too much? If they were so sensitive, then how could they use them with such brutal wing beats, supporting their bodyweight against winds? You were lost but your concern and all other thoughts melted away when Azriel leaned forward and spread his wings for you, erasing any doubts to whether you misunderstood.
“Tell me if I’m doing something wrong. Or if you’d like it a different way.” You mumbled, dipping the rag into the bath water and slowly bringing it up to his left wing.
Azriel hummed softly, nerves bouncing around at the idea of what he’d just given you permission to do. You were the only person he wanted to do that.
You lower the rag, squeezing it so the warm water trickles on the membranous skin first, testing how he reacted to just the feeling of water. He twitched at the first drops hit the sensitive area, but quickly became accustomed to it and then it didn’t seem to bother him much. You had stopped your gentle lullabies in exchange for focusing all your attention on the task at hand. When he didn’t react to the water, you carefully pressed the washcloth down. Azriel didn’t move, so you did, taking it as a good sign. As you cautiously swiped and dabbed across his wing, you didn’t miss the way he reacted to certain areas. Some of them were notably more sensitive than others and you weren’t entirely sure how to interpret the reactions they elicited. Soft sighs, sucking in his breath, tensing and flickering the muscles in his back despite his wings remaining still. You observed them and noted them for later, for a better time.
When you moved to wash the other wing, Azriel didn’t spread it out for you as much as he had the other. You gently took the task into your own hands, but even with your hand guiding it, he didn’t take the hint and stretch it like you expected he would. A curious observation that had you peering around to scan his face. Only to discover that your gentle ministrations and soft touches had put him to sleep. Your chest nearly caved at the trust in you Azriel had displayed in the past 30 minutes, but you continued washing him, ever so careful to not wake him until the very end when there was nothing left for you to do.
He rubbed at his eyes, a little dazed as he refocused on the world again and remembered where he was and what had happened. You turned to grab his towels and when you turned back around he had stood up, water pouring and dripping off the entirety of his body and back into the bloody bath. You bring the towel forward, only noticing up close with a quick glance that he was half hard. You didn’t know what to make of it, surprised that even in spite of his exhaustion and injuries and despite the way you hadn’t noticed his scent change.
Azriel noticed that you noticed, taking the towel to begin drying himself. “Sorry, I can’t...” He trailed, his voice groggy and gravely.
You weren’t even sure what he was going to say or what excuse he had but you dismissed it quickly regardless. “It’s okay, love.”
◈𝅒 𝅓 𝅒 𝅒 𝅓 𝅒 𝅓 𝅒 𝅓 ◈
Azriel dressed halfway with some old moth eaten pajamas you found in the wardrobe in the bedroom, leaving his top half bare for you to bandage him up. He promised you it wasn’t necessary and that the wound would be closed by the time you two woke in the morning. Despite that being the most words he’d said to you the entire night, it didn’t comfort you much. You knew he just wanted to sleep, but with cracked ribs and a weeping wound on top of them, you would rather stay up for an extra half hour than try to let him sleep with that unbound. The cabin fortunately came stocked with basic medical supplies, a result of Rhys’ priorities.
So you carefully, and as gently as you could, bound his injuries and fastened it so he wouldn’t strain his ribs. All guided by vague, yet helpful instructions from your patient. There was nothing that required stitches and though you wanted to fret over Azriel and his injuries for longer, it was late at night and both of you were exhausted, his own weariness taking precedence over your desperation to patch him up any further. So, at his request, you grabbed his knives from the coffee table and brought them to bedroom, sliding under the thick quilt and watching as Azriel slid Truth Teller beneath his stiff down pillow. You smiled faintly, watching his careful movements as to not aggravate his injuries. His right hand was still pressed over his ribs, making you wonder just how much pain he was hiding from you, though your thoughts dissolved when his eyes met your yours.
Azriel scans your face, taking in your features with a slowness--- a peace that you knew meant that you had done your job well.
“Thank you... for all this.” He whispered in the quiet of your room. His shadows swirled in the darkness. You couldn’t tell where they stopped and where the unlit bedroom began, the light from the the fireplace in the living room being the only source light.
You brought a hand up to his almost dried hair, running your hand through it lovingly. “Of course, Az.” You leaned forward and pecked his lips in a moment of boldness spurred by blind exhaustion and love. He reciprocated and leaned into your touch.
You two stayed like that for longer than you realized, just soaking in each others presence. Coming down from the anxiety and stress of the last several hours and just being with one another.
“That’s what I’m here for.” You muttered, bumping your nose against his before pulling back to settle down in bed.
Azriel does the same, scooting down and situating the pillows comfortably. “And here I thought you just wanted me for my body,” He mumbled and you were grateful for the reappearance of his sarcasm. He lifts an arm, inviting you to cuddle up against him and you immediately do so, appreciative of his warmth in the small cabin.
“I do. That’s why I gotta fix it.” With your head resting on his chest, you look up at him and find him looking down at you with the same lovesick look you know you wore. He leans down and presses a kiss to the top of your head and you shut your eyes at the contact, basking in the warmth of him, the feeling of his skin against yours, the safety in his arms. One of his hands comes up to bury in your hair and you sigh contentedly against him, drifting into sleep like the snow outside that had just begun to float down.
No but imagine Feyre being her busybody self on a night that the whole gang is out at Rita’s. Elain is away visiting Lucien and Cassian and Nesta are off on their honeymoon, so Feyre is worried Azriel won’t have anyone to hang out with.
She makes her way across the room to find him already at the bar and laughing so hard his eyes are shut.
Puzzled, she looks at who is sitting on the barstool next to him and she finds that it’s that chatty priestess from Nesta and Cassian’s ceremony. And she’s singing along to the music the live band is playing.
“Berdara, those aren’t the lyrics,” Feyre hears Azriel wheeze.
“No, I’m pretty sure they are,” insists the priestess.
“What the fuck is a ‘Lightly knife’ then?”
“A light weight knife!”
Azriel’s snorts. Snorts. And Feyre’s brows shoot up because she’s never heard him snort in a way that wasn’t derisive.
“The lyric is: a lively night. Not a ‘lightly knife’,” Azriel corrects.
The priestess waves an errant hand. “Art is open to interpretation, Shadowsinger.”
Feyre realizes that maybe Azriel doesn’t need her assistance tonight after all.
Feyre realizes that maybe it’s okay that Elain is starting to visit Lucien.
Feyre realizes it may be time she got to know Gwyneth Berdara.