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steddieas-shegoes · 1 year

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For the requests: Steve has a good relationship with his parents & when they come back from wherever & someone (Nancy/Robin) tells them about the UD & his parents react by calling out every single adult involved. Maybe he got badly hurt, & they were called in & upon finding out they call out Joyce, Hop, Owens & Murray for the way no adult inthese kids lives had any clue about what their kids were going through. Nor were their parents given notice esp bc having underaged kids sign NDAs is not legal nor legally binfing (Maybe all the parents of the party kids are there and get all the info just like the Harrington's)

MY DARLING! LIGHT OF MY LIFE! HONESTLY this one hit different. You know how much I love making Steve suffer and when he has good parents, a lot of his suffering disappears. But it was nice to branch out a bit. Also finally some common sense! KIDS SHOULD NEVER BE SIGNING AN NDA THEMS THE FACTS! Steve's parents are here to fight for everyone so WELCOME TO THE CHAOS OF STEVE'S OVERPROTECTIVE LAWYER PARENTS! - Mickala ❤️

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Steve Harrington had managed to avoid the hospital for years. Not because he shouldn’t have gone, but because he refused to go.

But this time, he was unconscious, which means he didn’t have a choice.

And now, staring at his parents’ shocked and appalled faces next to his bed, he realized he wished he’d just died, actually.

“This happens…often?” Anne Harrington asked Dr. Owens, who looked like he wished he was also dead.

“It does happen more often than we like. But it appears to be fixed now! Steven has been a wonderful asset to us, which is why we want to make sure he is comfortable and all his medical expenses are paid.”

He handled that well, Steve thought.

“And this is the first time anyone has bothered to call us?” Richard Harrington asked much too quietly.

That was his ‘I’m about to lose my shit’ voice and Steve didn’t have the energy to deal with it.

“I do apologize, we had to deal with enough NDAs as it is,” Dr. Owens replied, not realizing that he was speaking to two lawyers who were about to ruin his life.

Steve let his head rest against the pillow of the hospital bed, sighing.

“At what age did Steve sign his first NDA?”

“I believe he was 16.”

“And did he have a lawyer present?” Anne didn’t wait for a response before continuing. “I can tell you he didn’t. We’re his lawyers and we were not even called. Are you the one in charge of this shitshow?”

It wasn’t often Anne Harrington said a curse word. Steve only ever heard it a handful of times, usually after hanging up with a client who would lose their case.

“I am one of the people who is tasked with this, yes. But if you don’t mind, I need to check in with a few people before I can truly devote time to this conversation.”

“Oh, please. Continue on with your day. Don’t mind us sitting next to our son in the hospital.”

Dr. Owens sighed, knowing this fight was barely even starting, and left the room.

Steve’s parents turned to him.

“How many concussions have you had?”

“Why didn’t you call us?”

“Who else knows about this?”

“Will this happen again?”

The questions were too much, and Steve’s head was pounding. He couldn’t do this right now.

“Hopper.”

“Jim Hopper? I thought he died.”

Admittedly, his parents had been out of town for a while. They didn’t know Hopper was back as of a few months ago, and probably didn’t realize he’d taken over as chief again.

“He didn’t. He’s around here somewhere.”

“He knew about all this?”

“Mom, I love you, but my head is splitting down the middle. I need to stop talking.”

Anne slowly brushed her hand through his hair, planting a kiss on his forehead.

“Of course, honey. We’ll be back soon. Do not sign anything without us here, okay?”

“Okay.”

His dad briefly touched his shoulder before they both left the room.

Finally, some peace and quiet.

Until he was woken up by yelling.

Not just any yelling. Richard Harrington yelling.

If he wasn’t chained to the bed by an IV and blood transfusion bag, he would be up and in the hallway.

Apparently, he didn’t need to worry, though.

His mom came into the room, leaving the door open to the hallway so he could hear everything.

“I’m glad you’re awake, honey. We have a lot to talk about.”

“Who is he yelling at?”

“Every adult who didn’t bother to take care of you the way they should. Not just you, but all of these kids,” she said, tone more annoyed by the second.

“I don’t understand.”

“Honey, you’ve been protecting these kids in ways you never should have had to. All these adults who were involved never told any of us what was going on. They let you keep standing in the line of fire, getting hurt, seeing things you shouldn’t have to and never even bothered to call us. You signed NDAs with the government without parents or lawyers present. That alone is illegal, do you understand that?”

“So I’m in trouble?”

“Oh, honey, no. You’re not in trouble. Your dad’s having a few words with the chief and Dr. Owens.”

Steve tuned in to what was being said in the hall.

“I cannot fathom what you’ve done. Expecting these children to save this town, the world, and not even have their own parents know? Who are they supposed to turn to? You? And what have you done to help them? As far as I’m concerned, you should be arrested and imprisoned. If I have anything to say about it, you will!”

“Mom, can you please get him to stop? I know he’s upset, but Hop really protected us a lot, okay? And Dr. Owens was just doing his job.”

“A lot of people have just been doing their jobs instead of considering that maybe children shouldn’t be responsible for defeating actual monsters.”

Well. Yeah, she did have a point there.

“Where is everyone?”

Anne sat on the edge of his bed, holding his hand, running her thumb along the back of it.

“The Munson boy is in the room next door, he’ll be okay. Robin is home with her parents. Most of the kids are now with their parents, but that Sinclair boy is still being watched for concussion symptoms.”

Steve sighed with relief.

No one was lost. Everyone had pretty minor injuries. Maybe he was able to protect everyone.

“That Dustin boy is relentless,” Anne said with a smile. “He really looks up to you.”

“Yeah, he’s like a brother to me.”

“His mom didn’t know about any of this either, did she?”

Steve thought about it.

Honestly, she probably had some idea. Maybe not of the real details, but she had to know Dustin was involved in something he couldn’t talk about. Same with most of the parents.

But Steve’s parents were gone a lot. Their main office was in Boston, and they would often have to travel around the country for their clients. He was used to not seeing them, only getting to talk to them on the phone once or twice a week.

It’s easy to hide shit over the phone, and when they did manage to make it home, the Upside Down monsters were safely tucked away underground.

They had no way of knowing anything was wrong. He did it on purpose, just like all of the kids did.

Even without signing the NDAs, he’s pretty sure they wouldn’t have told their parents.

“I think we just thought we were protecting you guys.”

“Honey, it’s not your job to protect us. It’s our job to protect you.”

She looked so sad.

Steve didn’t want her to be sad.

“Mom, you couldn’t have done anything. And we’re all safe.”

His dad walked in the room, face red. He closed the door behind him and ran his hand over his face.

“Doctor said Steve can go when the nurse comes to disconnect him from everything soon,” he said, coming to sit in the chair by his bed.

“That’s good news. We’ll get you home and settled. We canceled our flight out so we can stick around for a while and make sure you’re okay,” Anne said with a smile.

“You guys don’t have to cancel your trip. Your clients need you.”

“Not as much as you need us, son,” Richard said, giving him a soft smile.

“I’ve handled it before, though.”

“And you shouldn’t have. Trust me, this town, the government, they’ve got a shit storm coming and I’m leading it,” his dad huffed.

A knock interrupted Steve’s response, the door opening slightly before they answered.

Eddie.

“Steve? You okay?”

Steve’s parents looked at the door, then back at Steve, who was doing his best to hide the fond smile on his face.

It wasn’t working though, not when he saw the way Eddie was trying to take inventory of his injuries from across the room.

“You can come in, Eds.”

“Who’s this, honey?” Anne asked.

“This is Eddie.”

“Oh! You poor thing. I heard all about what you’ve been through. Let me just say, if we had caught wind of it earlier and knew you were Steve’s friend, we would’ve been representing you in court,” Anne rushed to say, her hands fluttering over Eddie’s when he got next to the bed.

Eddie’s wide eyes would have been amusing if Steve didn’t worry that he might run for the hills at the care his parents showed.

“Uh. Thank you?”

“Do you need anything right now? Do your parents need anything?” Richard asked, sitting forward in his chair, business face on.

“Um, just me and my uncle, but no. I’m heading home, but wanted to check on Steve before I go.”

“Of course! You guys are close friends?”

It was an innocent question. His parents just liked to know who was in his life, that’s all. But Eddie looked at him with panic written all over his face.

Steve gave him a small smile, then turned to his parents.

“Actually, he’s my boyfriend.”

They were quiet for a moment, which Steve expected. No matter how well he thought they’d take it, he knew it would be a shock.

But his parents didn’t let him down.

“How long have you been together, Steve?”

“Since March. Four months?” He watched as Eddie started to back away, probably expecting the worst.

Anne smacked Steve’s arm, forgetting for a moment that he was in the hospital for a reason.

“Sorry,” she said before crossing her arms. “You’ve had a boyfriend for four months and didn’t tell us? We could have come back and arranged dinner to meet him. I’m so sorry our son is rude, Eddie. He wasn’t raised that way, I assure you.”

Eddie’s jaw dropped.

“Um. What’s happening right now?”

“We’ll be home for a while to make sure Steve is alright. We’d love to have you over for dinner soon. With your uncle if you’d like,” Richard added as Eddie just stared between them.

“What do you like? I just got a new cookbook that has so many European dishes I want to try. Are you a fan of Polish food? You know what, no, what about Greek? We haven’t had good Greek food in so long.”

Steve was laughing, he couldn’t help it.

“Steve, what the hell is going on here?”

“Eddie, that’s my mom, Anne, and my dad, Richard. They’re kind of the best, and apparently they want you and Wayne to come for dinner. Think you can find time in your schedule?”

“Uh.”

“Oh dear. Do you have a concussion? They should monitor you kids better,” Anne worried, moving her hands up to cup his cheeks and look in his eyes. “Should I get a nurse?”

“No, mom, he’s okay. He just expected you two to freak out.”

“About what?”

“The fact he’s a man.”

“Oh! I do suppose that’s a reasonable concern.”

“Eddie, let me ask you this: do you make Steve happy?” Richard asked.

“I think so.”

“And he makes you happy?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Then it sounds like we have no reason to be upset. Now, dinner? Maybe tomorrow night?”

“Okay.”

Steve laughed loudly.

“Eds, come here,” Steve gestured for him to come closer.

Eddie moved next to the bed, his arm bandaged, and a new cut with stitches in it on his forehead.

“Closer.”

Eddie leaned in.

Steve leaned up and kissed his lips. Just a quick peck, just enough to get the point across that this was really okay and really happening.

“Tomorrow at 6?” Steve asked before he pulled away completely.

Eddie nodded.

“And please bring your uncle, we need to discuss our plan for a lawsuit on behalf of all of you,” Richard spoke up from his chair.

“Oh. Yes, sir.” Eddie pulled away from the bed, nervously playing with his rings.

“Richard is fine, son.”

Eddie was blushing, which Steve was absolutely going to make fun of him for later.

“See you tomorrow, then?” Eddie asked awkwardly.

“Love you, Eds.”

“Oh. Uh. Yep. Love you too, Stevie.”

He raced out of the room, leaving Steve and Anne laughing quietly.

“Poor boy. Didn’t know what to do, did he?”

“No, I think he isn’t used to a positive reaction when people find out about him.”

“His uncle knows about you two, though, right?”

“Yeah, Wayne’s been great.”

“Good. Well, I’m going to find a nurse so we can go home. You should be comfortable in your own bed.”

“And I am going to make a quick call to my buddy in Chicago to see if he can pull some information on this Owens guy. We have a lot of work to do.”

Steve was used to this. For some kids, maybe this wasn’t good parenting. Maybe his parents being gone for a lot of his life had a negative impact.

But Steve never doubted how much they loved him. They still came home for every birthday, every Christmas. They still managed to take a family vacation every year. They gave him everything he needed and most of what he wanted. They supported him through everything, the proof right here in front of him now.

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #the party #steve harrington has good parents for once!!!#and they're about to fuck shit up!!!#ficlet #request

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narrativelysignificantturtleduck · 11 months

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Also a very minor throwaway part of that post but it annoys me so much that line “not sexist like the water tribe” like I cannot Stand when ppl act like the FN is actually superior in that regard bc they allow women on the frontlines of their imperial death machine … (tho ig it could fit w like. what you were talking about like how western countries like to brag about how they’re so much more progressive when they’re not- like ig the FN could try and spin things that way? but ugh)

(sorry, you don’t have to answer this i just got annoyed lol)

no i thought about this too because even if you see allowing women in the military as the pinnacle of equality, if you actually look there aren't many (if any at all) female soldiers when the gaang runs into fire nation troops in the earth kingdom, you mostly only see them in the fire nation domestic forces and as prison guards at boiling rock and iroh's prison. and they're wearing skimpy midriff-baring uniforms. the artbook even says that women make up a majority of the domestic forces. wow, there's absolutely no sexism in having women only in the domestic forces in special revealing uniforms. it totally means there's gender equality.

also everything about how azula and her girl squad conduct themselves speaks to how women learn to navigate sexist systems. all the other firebending threats are these brash, aggressive men (zhao, ozai, zuko), but azula schemes and plots and takes down ba sing se not with brute force, but by infiltrating in makeup and dresses, by taking advantage of people underestimating her. they really do stage a coup with the power of their gossip giggles! the pressure mai was under to be quiet and compliant, ty lee's cultivated cute and ditzy persona hiding how she can fuck you up, and azula's ability to scheme, all reflect how women in sexist societies are treated and cope with that treatment.

furthermore, i think water tribe sexism might be kind of overstated because we don't get much southern water tribe development. yes, sokka was sexist, the men of the tribe left to go to war and the women stayed behind, but in hama's flashbacks waterbenders of all genders are seen fighting the fire nation raids. kanna fled the north for the south - surely she wouldn't do that if she knew she'd be faced with exactly the same treatment. katara is totally surprised to find out that women aren't trained in combat waterbending. my guess is that while there were roles, they weren't nearly as rigid. sokka, having put all his eggs into the basket of "be the male warrior and protector while the men are gone" is perhaps taking this to a greater extreme than the average water tribe member, and he unlearns it pretty quick - almost as if it wasn't THAT entrenched, and it was more about his personal worldview than his cultural beliefs.

the main change i would make to atla is adding another episode between "the waterbending master" and "the siege of the north" where we get -

a) some insight into why the two water tribes have grown so different. i think likely the war had an impact on gender roles in both nations, with the north retreating from the world and becoming stagnant and traditionalist while the south had to have everyone fight out of necessity. maybe some flashbacks to life in the southern water tribe, a kanna appearance maybe.

b) an improved pakku storyline, where he's more sympathetic and interesting. if we're going to have him be katara's waterbending master and a member of the white lotus, he needs to be less of a jerk for no reason

c) aang learning healing from yagoda. we need to establish that the problem is gender roles, not that healing is an inferior form. maybe we see other men joining him in yagoda's class and women joining pakku's class, as he and katara learn from both of them. when they see pakku at ba sing se in the finale, he tells them that yagoda is at the white lotus camp too.

(and this scene happens offscreen)

d) some cute scenes of sokka & yue bonding

i think another water tribe centric episode would do a lot to make fandom less weird about things like this. it wouldn't entirely fix the problem - the problem is that we live in a racist society - but it would at least give us more canon evidence to refute it.

#ask #nina's personal log

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alovesongshewrote · 2 years

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Woof | Eddie Munson x Reader

Plot: You're the calm horse to Eddie "the Freak" Munson's chaotic dog. Or you were. [Eddie Munson x Gender Neutral!Reader]

Word count: 1,797

Warnings: drug use at the end, the reader is kind of having an existential crisis, but i don't go into it. n*zi mention in the disclaimer below.

Disclaimer: Uh, yeah, fuck netflix, and fuck whoever came up with having a "stranger things experience" in a former n*zi prison where jewish and romani people were exterminated. that's an incredibly fucked up thing to do, and i do not support or endorse it.

A/N: alrighty, well, consider this a concept piece: if you want more, let me know, and i could make this into a series. i could make it extra tragic if eddie dies in volume 2, which i think he will. anyway.

Tags: @blixeon ur getting tagged bc i yelled about this to you at like, 1am and you liked the idea

Y’know how sometimes teachers will put their more chaotic students next to the calmer ones in a desperate attempt to bring some peace to the classroom? And it’s kinda weird because those are both students, so it’s kinda like getting a horse to watch your dog, but they do it anyway either because they’re underfunded or because they’re just bad at their job or what have you?

Yeah. For a solid chunk of your public school experience, you were the calm horse to Eddie “The Freak” Munson’s chaotic dog.

And quite honestly, that plan fucking backfired.

In their efforts to get Eddie to calm down and stop causing scenes, they had put you in the perfect position to 1) become his friend, and 2) get corrupted into chaos. No surprise here, you did both of those things.

Though you never truly matched Eddie’s level of audacity, you did manage to get up there by the time you graduated. Your personal havok included, but was not limited to, releasing a horde of hamsters onto your middle school in the seventh grade, causing mild damage to several lockers, and “spilling” milk on Tommy H. because he was just getting on your nerves more than usual that day.

As you blossomed from a standard calm horse to a chaotic dog-horse hybrid, Eddie remained by your side, just as you remained by his. Your loyalty to each other never wavered at any stage. There was no one else you’d rather have on your team, no one else you’d rather talk to. Even when his hair was buzzed, and when you were on the quiet side, your bond (forged by a shared set of desks and a shared status of “the weird one”) was nigh unbreakable.

Things even got borderline romantic in the end - not to say that a romantic relationship is better than a platonic relationship, by the way. Platonic relationships are valid as fuck, and they’re just as good as romantic relationships. Romance is just the way it went with you and Eddie- at least for a moment. It was full-on friends to lovers, 600k words that I’m not going to bore you with. Long story short, you ended up kissing him by Skull Rock, and he gave you one of his rings. It was cute. It was sweet.

And then you graduated. And he didn’t. And then you left the state for college.

You didn’t speak for two years.

It wasn’t intentional, it just kind of happened. It was harder to keep up long-distance friendships in the days before the internet. Still, you missed him. He was your person, and then he was gone. You made your way through life, but he always stayed in the back of your mind.

And then, bada bing, bada boom, 1986 rolled around. You had taken a sizable bite out of a legal studies diploma, and in doing so, you burnt yourself all the way out. You were lost, and tired, and you really didn’t know what you were doing with your life anymore. So, you did the only rational thing you could think to do- you ran right home. Cursed or not, at least you didn’t have to deal with citing your sources in Hawkins.

The town was more or less as you’d left it, just a bit more traumatized. Everything and everyone felt on edge as if the town was holding its breath, waiting for the next tragedy to unfurl itself upon them. Your parents were welcoming, happy to have their pride and joy home from school, and also happy to have you safe where they could see you. You couldn’t blame them for that one. The longer you spent in Hawkins, the more you understood the anxiety that came with your loved ones going unaccounted for.

Overall, you were pretty good at keeping track of the people you cared about- but there was one person who you couldn’t find, no matter how hard you searched. It was almost like Eddie was actively avoiding you. Of course, you couldn’t be sure, but you still weren’t lovin’ it.

That fun bundle of anxious thoughts combined with the existential stress that followed you home from school kept you up at night. You didn’t sleep well at the best of times, but with all of that on your plate? You kind of just stared at the ceiling for eight hours at a time, stressed as hell and bored out of your mind.

So eventually, you just decided to go out and do something. Anything. Anything at all, you just needed the stimulation- you required enrichment in your environment, goddamnit.

Of course, everything was closed, so you ended up driving circles around Hawkins every night, waiting for some kind of plot to happen to you.

And then it did! The plot fucking rear-ended you like a bitch!

You almost didn’t want to blame the plot- it was raining pretty hard that night, and the roads were a little slick. Unfortunately, the plot drives like a fucking madman, and he always does this, and he always has.

Even so, when you climbed out of your car and saw the face of the man that hit you- or rather when you heard the voice of the man who hit you- you couldn’t find it in yourself to be mad.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!”

“Munson?”

Eddie looked like a deer in headlights, which, in some ways, he was. The man barely got a word in before you had him by the shoulders.

“I’ve been looking for you everywhere! Where have you been, man?”

Your smile was bright enough to light up the storm around you. Eddie tried to ignore that, and in doing so, he ignored your question altogether.

“I- I’m sorry about your car?” The way he says it makes it sound like a question, even though it’s very much a statement.

“Yeah, yeah, don’t worry about it, I- Huh- oh, fuck, it’s wet out here, come on-” you grabbed his arm, confusing the hell out of him as you all but dragged him with you, “Get in my car, it’s dry.”

He wonders, briefly, why you decided to climb into your newly damaged car instead of his relatively undamaged van, but he doesn’t stop to question it. Instead, he just followed you in and out of the rain.

The two of you fell silent the second you closed the doors behind you. You sat like that for a few minutes, both of you waiting for the other to start the conversation. Eventually, you snapped.

“Ok, but seriously man, where have you been? I was kind of getting nervous, to be honest-”

“In my defence, I did not know you were back.”

You shrugged, “Fair enough. I mean, I’ve only been back for like, five minutes.”

“And you didn’t come to find me? Tsk, tsk, (Y/N), I’m disappointed.”

“I tried!” Your voice was half a whine and half a laugh, “I genuinely couldn’t find you, it sucked. I mean, shit man, you live here, you have to be aware of what people say, right? Hawkins is cursed, people go missing, monsters lurk in the shadows, blah blah blah,” you wiggle your arms around as you speak to accentuate your point, “Things are weird here, y’know? And when you can’t find the people you care about, it’s possible that something bad happened-”

He scoffed and tried to ignore the fact that you still cared about him, “Yeeeeah, I don’t think you have to worry about me. Depending on who you ask, I’m a very big part of the curse.”

You raised an eyebrow, “Why? Oh, no, wait, is it because of Dungeons and Dragons?”

“Yeah. Yeah, it’s about Dungeons and Dragons.”

“Jesus Christ,” you let your head hit the steering wheel, “Small towns are fucked, I swear to God.”

He nodded in agreement, and the car returned to silence. The only sounds were the rain hitting the roof and the sounds of your breathing.

“Hey, y’know what?” You sat back up, “You should come with me. Like, when or if I go back to school, you should come with me.”

“Yeahhh, that’s not gonna happen. I still haven’t graduated, so… yeah, it’s not- it’s not gonna happen.”

“Huh. Well, shit, do you wanna swap places?”

He didn’t answer that question, he just kind of looked at you like, “???”

“Yeah, I mean, I think I’d kill to just go back to high school? I didn’t have to worry about tuition, or where my life is going, or citing my fucking sources,” you leaned back, your hands running over your face, “And yeah, the food was shit, and the people were generally awful with you being the exception, but I- I just feel so lost now. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with my life anymore, man.”

For a moment, you’re lost in your own mind. Then, you feel a hand on the side of your face. And another hand on your face. Eddie Munson held your face in his hands. His grip was gentle, much softer than anyone else would expect it to be. His fingers were rough against your skin, but you really didn’t mind it- if anything, it was a feeling you’d missed.

“(Y/N), babe, I am still in high school. I also have no idea what I’m doing with my life!”

You shut your eyes and leaned into his hold, letting yourself relax for the first time in ages. One of your hands wrapped around one of his wrists, just to feel a little closer to him. Eddie tried to fight off the butterflies in his stomach. He failed miserably.

“We should form a union,” you whispered, “A union of people who just… don’t know what they’re fucking doing.”

He nodded along with you before taking his hands from your face and slapping his thighs and pushing the door open, “I don’t know what we’re gonna do with our lives, but I know what we should be doing right now. Come with me!”

It was your turn to follow in confusion- which you did. You let him pull you out into the rain and into his van, where he promptly threw a bag of weed at your face. He didn’t mean to throw it in your face, but it hit you there anyway. The two of you proceeded to hotbox the shit out of Eddie’s van.

You weren’t entirely sure if it was the drugs or the fact that you finally knew your dear friend was safe, but you were finally able to sleep that night, safe and sound.

And then a teenager got murdered in his living room like a week later, but let’s not worry about that.

#eddie munson x reader #stranger things eddie x reader #x reader

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away-ward · 19 days

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from pen.d's goodreads qna:

Lottie asked Penelope Douglas:

Hi Pen! I just wondered is there any chance you will write a bonus scene for Aydin and Alex? I’d love to have seen more of them (their wedding night particularly haha), Aydin was such an interesting character. Also, what is the gift Damon received from Christiane in Fire Night? Damon is my favourite character of yours, I loved every tidbit we get about him and will miss reading about him. Thanks :)

Penelope Douglas Hi, Lorrie! Always possible! And Christiane gave Damon and journal--the left page is for the parent to fill out and the right is for the child. Like "List your top 10 favorite movies" It's a way for parents and children to learn about each other, communicate, etc. She's filled it out for most of Damon's life, and she finally passed it on to him. Thanks for the question!

oh? so they're actually not done with this series? 🙃 aydin and alex 😶🔫 just k-word me already. No bcs why tf will it be aydinalex, kaibanks and willemmy's fans have been asking extra since forever but there were so little? but aydin and alex could be possible? i thought they said so many times before that they were SOOOOOOO fucking done with this series and the books, and hoped that fans will move on and be happy, didnt want to change anything blablabla, emory was heavily disliked yadayadayada, but they just kept on firing shit up, AND include these two imbecile ass characters that were hated by many, in everything? 😤😕

sometimes i wonder where they even got their insights? Like who did they even listen to when they said their readers hated emory and love alex more? Beta readers? Pendragon FB fan group? PR lists? Publishers? Editors? Because they're definitely not coming fom the majority of their fans everywhere else. It's like they have a secret society of feedback givers that we dont know about and kept on putting content that we never asked for because they listened to that unknown society, and again was surprised when their content got so many backlash! And they never owned up to anything too!! God! We at least could've gotten a bonus of emmy being pregnant or some shit, or how will is faring with his college degree, or some more domestic willemmy things, but ughhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! This? pd's just so full of shit 😓

ahhhh, I see. I had to check goodreads to see when they posted it.

My understanding is that PD will always leave the door open to write a scene here or there, but they have no plans (read: intentions) to continue the series or pick up with their children.

As for the Alex bit, you best believe that PD is all too happy to write about her, Rika, and Damon. It's confirmed that Damon is their favorite.

But look at this from their website:

"As an adolescent, I was quiet, shy, and afraid. No mistakes could be made, because people would hate me or I’d be alone. So rather than run, I walked. Rather than climb, I kept my feet on the ground. And rather than say “yes,” I always said “no.” And as a result, I didn’t live.

And I still felt disposable, fearful, and alone.

What would they say about me when I was gone? Would I have regrets? Every day that I didn’t blaze a trail swallowed me up.

So I decided I wouldn’t be invisible or waste another second. I left home, went to college, and traveled. I took trains from Atsugi to Tokyo all by myself. I jumped Hiji Falls when others joked I wouldn’t do it. (I did it twice.) I climbed Mt. Fuji, and I moved to New Orleans for graduate school without knowing a single person in the city. I did what I dreamed, and I was a lot happier.

I don’t worry so much anymore, and I don’t let others’ opinions hold me back.

Be yourself, and OWN it. You know what that means? Be loud and proud. Nurture who you are and good things will come. Most importantly, your happiness."

Sounds a little like Rika's character arc, no?

And in Corrupt, Alex was everything Rika wasn't; bold, sexual, loud and proud. Since Corrupt was a stand alone, I think the relationship between Rika and Alex is special to PD. There's something about Rika, Alex, and Damon that has a tight hold on PD, so we should always expect that if we're getting new content, it will strongly feature one of them.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of readers who hate Emory and love Alex. I wish neither character was hated and that there wasn't competition in the fandom over them. That's so exhausting. I wish PD had planned on writing a series from the start, so that they balanced all these characters better. I wish they enjoyed writing about Kai and Will, and Banks and Emory, as much as they enjoyed writing about Rika and Damon. I wish that they didn't listen to fans so much - there're those that enjoy Alex and those who don't. They're always going to get contradictory requests over her.

Just be happy willemmy was clearly always endgame and nothing changed that for them. Not even all the fans that were rooting for Alex. And be happy that the less PD touches willemmy, the more we can imagine our own scenarios for them.

Sorry for the disappointing q&a. PD's q&a's are always... interesting to me.

Thanks for the message!!

#asked and answered 312 #asked and answered #devil's night series #no alex tag #But just to clear #There's nothing anyone could do to get me to waste my time on alexaydin #I would not disrespect my brain that way #End #rika fane #damon torrance

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thefallenbibliophilequote · 3 years

Text

The Asgardian Way

Loki x Reader

Summary: you get your period on the most unfortunate time- on date night with Loki. Embarrassed as you are of the topic from past experiences with boyfriends, Loki shows you that unlike mortal men- Asgardians view this time of the month for women in a much better way.

Word count: 1,849

Warnings: period talk, fluff, shade on Christianity, some shade on human men, Loki being the ideal boyfriend we all deserve.

A/N: this was requested by @the-departed-potato and while I do not take requests I just really had to do this one because this was like just perfect for me specifically to do. Sorry it took so long! Sorry if this sucks!😅 I also truly had to hold myself back from giving even more shade on Christians of old times because damn I could write a whole essay about those people and how they spread misinformation that changed real history to fake mainly bc of witchcraft. This is not beta read so all mistakes are by yours truly!

No one is allowed to repost my writing or steal or copy my work! Reblog on tumblr is fine.

Masterlist

It's been going on for months now, the shameless flirting, the gentleman behaviour, and the devious looks he sent your way that completely contradicted his actions and left you a blushing mess even when he only opened the door for you- then he would wink at you.

It wasn't until one night that you gathered up courage to ask him out.

You were staying late at the Avengers Tower, you wanted to finish working on the new gadget you had built with Tony at the lab so he sent you to bring the two of you some coffee- he knew it was useless to tell you to go home and sleep- last time he tried to do it you called him a hypocrite and conditioned one of his suits to blast him if he gets close to you. You found it hilarious. He made sure to update the security of his code.

You went to the kitchen when you happened to overhear a conversation of two gods.

"Why have you not taken her on a date yet, brother?"

"I wish to court her properly, she deserves to be treated like a lady." You heard Loki respond to his brother. You leaned on the wall, trying not to get hopeful and to get the butterflies to calm down.

"Y/N is a fine lady, however, I heard from Stark that midgardian women might mistake courting like ours as mere jest." You smiled a bit at the scoff they both let out.

"Mortals continue to baffle me." Came Loki's comment, before Thor continued- not letting the subject go.

"Ask her on a date, I'm sure she will appreciate it." He encouraged his brother who wasn't as sure.

"I think, brother, that she is different- she will appreciate the old delicate arts of courting." He was not wrong- you were always old fashioned. But now at his admission, you stepped out of the shadows and into their view.

"While I do appreciate the courting, I'd love it if you would ask me out." Loki turned around at the sound of your voice.

"How long have you been standing there, darling?" he fidgeted with his hair.

"Long enough," you stepped down the stairs to stand in front of him. "What do you say about this Friday night at six? There is an art exhibit at the museum, I think you'll like calling out all the inaccuracies."

"Yeah, I'd like that." He gave you a small shy smile, and you completely forgot about Thor who stood on the side, watching it all unfold.

"This is great," he said. "You two are finally going on that date, see brother I told you-"

Thor stopped when he looked at Loki who sent him daggers at ruining the moment. You only chuckled.

"I have to go get Tony and I some drinks, so I guess I will see you then." You were about to turn around to head towards the kitchen when Loki took your hand in his, making you turn around, then he kissed the back of your hand lightly, bowing with a small smile at the blush on your cheeks.

"I look forward to it."

It took you a couple of second to function after he did that, mumbling a quiet goodbye you turned around and refused to look back at the smirking god.

•

You have gone with the god for a couple of dates now and then, sometimes you didn't see him for a whole week because of meetings in Asgard and while you were sad that you didn't get to see him-you were glad he was gone on that exact week every time.

You have been seeing him for about 2-3 months now and it was great- up until your period decided to come early. Right on your scheduled date.

You were nervously pacing your apartment thinking how to tell Loki that you can't go out with him tonight. You didn't want him to see you like this- he is a god, and you- you are a mortal woman who was having trouble getting out of bed because your body decided to punish you for not being pregnant this month.

Your body was so sexist.

Suddenly, a knock on the door.

Groaning, you got out of bed and headed for the door, checking who was there you were puzzled when you saw Loki there, dressed to the nines. Surely you didn't waste so much time, he must be early.

"Dear, are you okay there?" he called you.

"Yes, I'm fine- just a moment!" you tried to make yourself look presentable in a rush just so you could open the door to the dashing prince who was awaiting you.

You opened the door with a smile, which he returned.

You were used to acting like you were okay while your cramps were killing you from the inside but it seems like the god of lies could not be so easily fooled.

"Hi Loki, I was not expecting you this early." You laughed courtly, "And I was actually meaning to call- I'm not feeling so well today, I'm afraid I have to postpone our date tonight."

Loki walked into your apartment, kissing you on the cheek before pulling back to study you.

"I wanted to see you sooner, so here I am. But now that I am here- well tell me what is wrong, dearest?" he frowned when he saw you slightly clench your fists.

"Oh, I'm just not feeling well, I won't be good company and I won't be able to enjoy a lovely night with you I'm afraid."

"I'm a healer my love; you always seem to forget my magic," he smirked slightly causing you to laugh- which was not good right now for you.

"I remember your magic powers very well when you prank me." You countered. "But no, this is not something you need to worry about."

He reached out and took your hand with a small laugh. The door locked itself with a wave of his hand as he took you to the couch.

"I'm afraid you will have to do better than that to fool the god of lies." He took both of your hands in his and you were sure he could see your embarrassment with the way he was gazing into your eyes, "Now tell me, what is wrong?"

"You really don't need to- it's kind of embarrassing-" you started to mumble, lowering your head.

"I'm still here, aren't I? What kind of man will I be if I am not taking care of those I care about?"

You pulled your hands away from him, embarrassed as you mumbled something he couldn't quite put together.

"What was that?"

"I'm on my period." You closed your eyes- not wanting to see his disgusted look. "See, so you don't need to be here, I can take care of it myself and we can reschedule our date to a week from now."

It was not a problem to you- you knew the drill- but having to explain it to a clueless god felt humiliating to say the least.

"Is that all? Why didn't you tell me sooner?" You opened your eyes to a puzzled god.

"Because it would make you uncomfortable," you replied, suspicious of his reaction.

"Why on Odin's beard would it make me uncomfortable?" He frowned at you and looked you over. He started peppering kisses on your hands.

"Because it is my period?" You knew he is a god, but maybe asgardians women didn't get that. "Here on earth, men tend to be disgusted by it, they don't like to get involved in it or talk about it."

He huffed out in surprised anger- that you did not expect. The god in front of you did not know how human males could be so awful.

"Well that is preposterous! Women are to be worshipped at those times!" you stared at him-he had always treated you differently, unlike anything you have seen on earth before. You knew Asgardian ways of manners were much old fashioned and yet so different all the same.

"Then tell me, how do asgardians see it?" you leaned on the back of the couch, facing Loki and pulling a blanket over you. You liked how safe he made you feel, but this still felt weird to you- you were not sure how to react- to what extent it goes. So, curiosity got the better of you, "because if I'm being honest, this is kind of embarrassing."

Loki sent you a smile with a twinkle in his eye.

"Darling there is nothing to be embarrassed of! You are naturally as powerful as a thunder storm, a tornado- lightning cowards before you and your power!" he was going to make sure you understand it, he had never been so baffled by humans before. "You hold the ability of life- eternal life- in every drop of blood that falls from you- from the most powerful being in all the realms. For a couple of days each month- you are being shown your true power even through your suffering- and in that time you, my dear, are more powerful than a god. You should be nothing but worshipped. That is what the gods of Asgard know it to be true."

"Do they really all think that?" you felt a sharp pain suddenly and Loki came closer to you, put his usually cold hand on your stomach and you felt comforting warmness ease your ache.

"They know it. The people of midgard knew it too at some point, but then some people who thought themselves gods- I think they called themselves Christians- decided that the bleeding was a show of witchcraft and called it a sin and spread many lies about it, which now I see are still believed to this day. You see, they were quite stupid." You laughed at the disgusted look he gave you, which in turn made him smile. "You know, I probably shouldn't tell you this but…"

"You never obey such rules." You laughed and put your hand over his one that was comforting you on your stomach.

"In one of Thor's travels he bathed in a river filled with the menstrual blood of the powerful Giantesses. That was to give him enlightenment and eternal life."

"Ew, did he actually do it?" you scrunched your nose and Loki kissed it.

"That is not disgusting- that was powerful and very well respected. When he came back, he was the smartest I have ever seen him."

"I hope he took a good bath after it…" you chuckled and smiled at him, "Thank you for this, the Asgardian way of thinking is way better than that of earth."

"Now, dear, while I do have a preferred way to help take away the pain-" you blushed under his gaze. "Tell me, what is it that you desire? Tell me, so I can worship you as I should."

You kissed him then and you knew right then when he kissed you back that the Asgardian men are way better.

•

Taglist: : @callmeluna @sstanbarnes @buckys-other-punk @drabblewithfrannybarnes @easygoingtheatre @that-one-person @justab-eautifulmess @onceupona-happilyeverafter @wipplogg @supraveng @samwilsons-pillowpecs @ayybtch @kitkatd7 @chrissquares @make-me-imagine @jessalyn-jpeg

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redrobin-detective · 3 years

Text

Ok, I’ve tried and tried and tried to write this fic because I see it so clearly in my mind but it’s just not going no matter what I do. But I don’t want the idea to die with me. The closest this came to being written was exile which was an attempt to bleed out some of the energy of this au.

Anyway, so it starts off vaguely similar to canon only more aggressive. There had been underlying tension between ghosts and humans for a while, the dead jealous/angry at the living for disrespecting them. The successful creation of the Fenton ghost portal (and another halfa) was considered an act of war and so the ghosts responded in kind. So basically all of S1 occurs fairly close to canon except ghost attacks are more violent and have increasingly more consequences as time passes. Also the attacks aren’t just in Amity Park with ghosts becoming a worldwide issue but Amity is a focal point. Regular people know the ghosts hate them though they don’t know why. Phantom is very much a controversial figure as he is a ghost but also clearly is fighting off the more violent ghosts.

One day, not long after the events of Control Freaks, Amity Park wakes up to find three of their own are gone. Danny Fenton, Sam Manson and Tucker Foley are nowhere to be found. There’s a massive manhunt, the parents go on TV and beg for information but they cannot be found. Curiously enough, town hero Phantom was also missing. There’s some evidence they left of their own volition so the Mansons and Foleys eventually relent that the kids fled on their own. The Fentons are 100% certain the kids were stolen/killed by ghosts as a statement. And the fact that Phantom went missing around the same time means he was the one who killed them. Jazz knows Danny was Phantom but had no idea what was going on and knew her parents wouldn’t listen she just, kept quiet and privately tried to piece together what happened.

Three years pass and finally it looks like the Ecto War is coming to a close. Young, naive ghosts attempted to raise Pariah Dark in a bid to win. It went disastrously but Phantom (who was periodically spotted around the world, deep in the worst battles of the war) and group of loyal allies subdued the king. By the law of ghosts, Phantom was named heir apparent and he declared that the fighting would stop. Humans and ghosts would have to negotiate and co-exist in peace. But he’s not king yet, no he needs to be crowned at the place where it began, Amity Park’s Fenton portal (”where it all began” has a double meaning of the beginning of the war but also symbolically where Phantom began as Kings assume the crown where their living life ended to show their abandonment of their first life and the commitment to their second). Amity is NOT happy to hear that their former hero is coming home.

Amity has been through the wringer, ghost attacks got pretty bad. The Fenton’s throw themselves into their work to cancel out the grief, they create a group of ghost hunters nicknamed the Reds (for their red blood, ghosts are nicknamed Greens) to control the threat. Valerie heads the young adult division and is considered one of the best, she drops out of school to devote herself to it full time. Oh also her dad is now the Mayor as most have died or didn’t want the job. There are still people who like Phantom and see him as a hero (a lot of Casper Kids) but it’s generally an unpopular opinion in town. Maddie and Jack are ready to obliterate the ghost that took their son’s life the moment he’s within city limits. It’s a powder keg ready to blow. It all comes to a head when Phantom and his entourage arrive.

First off, Phantom looks very different, much less human looking than when he left. He’s clearly aged like a normal teen but his eyes look much, much older. His skin is dead white with a blue tinge to it from his ice core and his aura is super cold. His hair is longer and is very misty that kind of swirls around him and his has fangs and claws. When he’s deep in battle or his obsession, his sclera turn black and he looks scary af. His entourage is ghosts who have sworn loyalty to him, who he picked up along the way after battling beside them for 3 years. Fright Knight, Skulker and Frostbite are recognizable allies. They are not happy that their future King is back in Amity (secretly fearing they’ll lose him once more to his human life). J&M have a shot and are going for the kill when they see something that shocks them; Sam and Tucker are in Phantom’s entourage.

There had been whispers that Phantom interacted with humans, that humans were in his inner circle but this is something else together. And so are Sam and Tucker. Sam is Phantom’s General, she is talented and collected and half feral. She used to be a pacifist but the trials of war and understanding that peace sometimes needs to be fought for made her compromise. She’s covered in scars and an extremely talented fighter. She’s missing her right hand up to her forearm, she can form a ‘phantom limb’ (basically borrowing ectoplasm from her future ghost) to do some things with some powers. Tucker is the support, he uses human and ghost tech to organize, weaponize and generally keep things running. He’s covered in homemade tech (shields and weapons and computers) and he rarely removes. Both he and Sam have kinda forgotten how to interact with and really BE human after so long among the dead. They had attempted to conceal themselves but they had forgotten how strong parental love and recognition is. J&M want to know about Danny, the teens don’t know how to respond but assure them he’s alive. Phantom can’t bring himself to look at them.

This is where I start to lose track of things but there will be parallels of Valerie/Maddie vs Sam as female warriors on opposite sides who are willing to go behind, possibly compromising the things important to them, for victory. Tucker will be contrasted against Jack/Jazz as the one making weapons but also generally keeping the human parts of the team mentally/physically afloat. *Severe* PTSD for all three of them. They’re also unnaturally codependent on each other, get super anxious when one of the trio is out of sight and sleep in a big cuddle pile. They will fucking Kill You if you look at one of them wrong. Vlad will be involved, he had been jailed for war crimes but convinced Walker to stage a coup to overthrow Danny and take the crown before he’s actually declared King and is too powerful. Vlad is more unhinged here, more ghost than human (a hint on what could happen to Danny if he’s not careful). He is eventually defeated but he sacrifices his life for ghost power which, in the end, is what makes him able to be beaten.

There’s lots of ideas on what it means to be live or dead and where the divide really is, is it a heartbeat or it is how you choose to use your existence. On how duty shouldn’t mean you need to give up everything. Because Jack and Maddie believe that Phantom killed their son and, in a way, they’re right. Before they left, the ghost war had gotten so bad and the rumors of Dark being resurrected were going around. Amity attacks were at an all time high, people in their school were being killed just because Danny went there. He realized he had to choose between Fenton or Phantom and he chose to protect the world. He abandoned his human identity and went off to fight in war. Tried to convince Sam and Tucker to stay but they followed him through hell and back. Because Danny spends so much time as Phantom, Fenton is severely neglected. His long hair is cool and floaty as Phantom but is unkempt and stringy, hanging in his face as Fenton. He’s wan and underweight and looks like a walking corpse. He knows his human half will give out soon if he doesn’t give it more attention but he just can’t there’s too much to do, too many people to save.

It would end with Danny being outed to the town, not the world, just the town. Jack and Maddie need to recon with the fact that their boy DID leave of his own choice but only because their failure to protect him (from both the portal and ghosts) made him feel he had to take all this responsibility on his shoulders. Danny also has to recognize that he (and Sam/Tuck) can’t do all this on their own and they can trust and rely on the people around him. Phantom is crowned King but he decides Amity will be his base. The trio eat more, sleep some, catches up on school all the while continuing their duties as King and court. The ghosts also see that Phantom’s humanity isn’t a weakness but a strength and will bring peace to the Earth/Zone so they also take some of the burdens off his shoulder.

Basically I load up heavily with angst at the beginning and end with all the love and comfort imaginable. I just can’t fucking figure out the middle and my motivation will not let me write this shit out. But I can’t let this AU die bc it fucking keeps me up at night.

#behind me dips eternity #god I want to write this but its just not going #Ive been trying for over a month #I cant finish the outline #I've only gotten a paragraph into actually typing #but there are so many vivid images from this fic that live rent free in my head #was lowkey thinking of comissioning an artist to depict Danny bc I've tried and its not coming out right and it drives me INSANE #bc this world is very vivid to me #i love it even if it hurts me #anyway here's wonderwall

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winter-soldier-vibes · 3 years

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Hey darling ❤️ love your writing 3000 :) can u do one with Bucky x reader (they’re together) where he overhears the reader on the phone with her parents that are emotionally & verbally abusive towards her (they always have been) and the reader has to explain it all to him afterwards even tho she’s having a panic attack (bc she’s afraid bucky will leave her since she has no one else to go to ??) and bucky comforts her and reassures her that he’s gonna be there for her and like comfort fluff? I live in an emotionally abusive and manipulative household rn and I tell you your fics are like an escape for me. Even if u don’t do this thank you from the bottom of my heart :)

Hey there, I love you 3000 ❤ I am so so sorry to hear about your situation, and while I'm glad to hear that my writing is an escape for you, I want you to know that I'm here for you. No one should have to go through what you described. I hope that this can bring you some comfort but please, I encourage you to reach out to someone who can help you. My DM's are open as well, you shouldn't face this alone. I'm here for you!!!

You owe them nothing

Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 3200 (ish)

Warnings: emotional abuse/gaslighting, manipulation, parent issues, tears, angst, breakdown, fluff.

---------

You really tried to keep it hidden. It wasn’t something that everyone needed to know about.

Your parents loved you, at least that’s what they had said. But it was one of those things where you felt like it was for show - the kindness that they showed when you were around others faded away once you were alone with them.

You remember once they had said “of course I love you, I’m your parent!”

But that made you wonder how they would treat you if you weren’t theirs.

They were horrible to you for as long as you could remember. Gaslighting you and making you feel like you owed them something even though they were the ones who should have taken care of you.

They were around but never…there. They would be there for family dinners but they were always riddled with criticisms of grades and who you were talking to and how you dressed. All of your hobbies were seen as a waste of time, something you should only do when you had nothing else to do. School came first, naturally, but there was always something they told you you had to do before you could do anything for yourself.

Yet when you would complain about being depressed, they told you to get a hobby because you never do anything.

Tired meant lazy, energetic and passionate meant loud and annoying. When you were quiet they thought you had nothing to say, yet when you expressed your opinions you were told to shut up.

You couldn’t win.

You could never make them happy, there was always something you were doing wrong.

They thought it was their right to monitor who you talked to and saw, what you did outside of school, what sports you could join. When you would say no to the school dances or parties you would make up an excuse about not wanting to go or having work to do. Your friends would call you a buzz kill. Little did they know you would give anything to go.

Whenever you would do something wrong (or anything, period,), your parents would yell at you. They would curse you out, make you cry, only to yell at you for crying like a little bitch.

The older you got, the worse it was.

You thought when you moved out it would be better. But you had all these years of being told you were worthless and having them be your providers. When you got your own place you didn’t really have any friends, nor did you really know how to make friends. You had a job to help you get by, you could support yourself. That wasn’t the issue. You could support yourself, you always had to.

It was that you were so lonely.

You wanted friends but you were so afraid of the criticism you would get. You were afraid to make yourself known, because you were always taught that being told what to do and taught what to think was much more appealing than having your opinion.

But this was an opinionated world.

You were good at what you did, so good that you had gotten a job at S.H.I.E.L.D. You thought that would make you happy, more importantly that it would make your parents happy, but no such luck.

“I got a really great job, guys.”

“Fantastic. I guess you’re just doing so great without us,” they had snapped.

“What? I mean… this is what you wanted right? For me to get a good job?” you had said, confused.

You heard a loud sigh on the other end of the line. “Of course we do, what are you crazy about? Of course we wanted you to get a good job but you just deserted us like we were trash. Have we done nothing for you?”

You felt your heart sink in your stomach. ‘Of course you guys have, I love -”

“Don’t say what you don’t mean. If you really cared about us you’d be helping us out. You got a great job and probably have a huge paycheck that you hoard and you left us here to struggle to make ends meet.”

You took the phone away from your face temporarily to take a shaky breath. Of course they would go there with the salary, why wouldn’t they? All of your paychecks had gone to them, since it was their house and they were feeding you, leaving you with barely enough money for your car and gas and phone bills, only for them to suggest longer hours when you complained.

“I can help you guys out if you need,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady.

You heard an exasperated sigh on the other line again. “You really should be more grateful, you know? We raised you your entire life and then you leave us alone? You never even call us? You’re so fucking selfish.”

Then the line went dead.

You shook your head and felt tears in your eyes as you spoke to yourself. “Well maybe I would call you if it didn’t always yell at me.”

Of course, you would never say that.

See, it wasn’t so bad. You never said anything because they were only ever mean to you, which would make you uncomfortable. There were people out there that would get hit or who would have to raise themselves from a young age. Once you grew thick skin it wasn’t so bad, you were just being dramatic.

Right?

Your new job was fairly successful, you were fantastic at what you did. You did a lot of behind the scenes work, weapon repair and plans of action with missions. Not that they needed much help with that. Still, they took you in as their friends.

Well, as close as you would let them get to as friends.

It took a while before you warmed up to them. Everyone tended to keep to themselves, but not as much as you. You kept the parts of you hidden away - you were there for a job, you did it, and you did it well. You knew how to do your job but interacting with the team, making friends - you didn’t want to get emotionally attached.

Not like you knew how to make friends to begin with.

Naturally you were drawn to the quieter side of the team, once you were able to open up. They were all nice but sometimes the parties and the jokes were a bit much. You just didn’t want to say or do the wrong thing that would make you the punchline.

No one needed to know about you, or how you would spend your free time being yelled at through a phone with you trying to make it better. That wasn’t part of the job, so you shouldn’t bring it up.

It wasn’t like anyone would want to help. You were just a nuisance to everyone around you.

Right?

No one talked about their life before the team much. Not many people on the team had a great life before the Avengers first came together. Natasha or Wanda had once spoken about how this team was a family. And as much as you wanted to believe it, you helped the team. You weren’t a part of the team. So even if that were true, it didn’t include you.

At least, that was your point of view.

The team viewed you as a part of the team as much as any of them. You didn’t fight with them but you made sure everything would go as smoothly. You were kind and great at what you did, but they wished you would open up more. Of course, being a team of people who had trouble opening up, they understood.

Bucky was one of the ones who took a liking to you, mostly because he saw a lot of himself in you. He could tell there was something that you were trying to get past but weren’t quite able to yet. That there was something bothering but you wouldn’t dare say it for fear of bothering someone. You threw yourself into projects and distractions and from the way you carried yourself, he guessed you were avoiding something that you weren’t ready to work through. At least, not yet.

He knew that feeling too well.

The ex-assassin was one of the easiest for you to open up to because he didn’t expect much from interactions. Both of you were quiet and kept to yourselves that there wasn’t much pressure to share anything or say anything. You knew his past but would never bring it up unless he wanted to. Which eventually, he did. You could tell he felt pressure to be who he was before HYDRA took him, and while Steve was surprised he opened up to you first, you weren’t. Steve knew Bucky before everything, and you didn’t have that bias. He was whoever he was today regardless of who he was yesterday.

And Bucky found comfort in that.

You think you would’ve too, if you thought you deserved it enough to do the same.

See, you were worried that you were making everything worse than it really was. You worried that maybe you were being too sensitive or that what you had grown up with was normal. With everything that everyone on the team went through, a few insults from your parents was hardly anything. You were being dramatic.

There was nothing to be sad or angry about. You just had to get over yourself.

Right?

You were getting by until one night when your parents called, as they did on occasion. You were in the middle of working, so you ignored it. The phone went to voicemail before it started ringing again, and you ignored it, again. The third time you sighed and picked up your phone, turning away from your work.

You took a deep breath before you answered. “Hello?”

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

You closed your eyes and brought a hand to rub your head. “Well I’m doing fine, thank you, how are you?”

“Don’t give me that attitude. What the fuck are you doing? You’ve been ignoring our calls.”

You stood up to pace the floor slightly, dreading the conversation that was coming. Is it the ‘family is most important’ or the ‘where’s my money?’ speech today? “I’ve been working.”

“What, so work is more important than family now? Is that what this is? You don’t care about us?”

Family speech it is.

“Dad -”

“What if one of us was dying? Huh? Would that be important?”

“Stop it. No one is dying, and I was working. And I have more work to do, so I really have to go.”

“You don’t get to tell me what to do, I’m your father.”

Gaining confidence you gritted your teeth and snapped, “You know what? I’m an adult now so you can’t tell me what to do.”

There was silence on the other end of the line and you could practically hear the steam coming out of your father’s ears.

At some point Bucky had come down to your working space to check on you, seeing as it was nearly morning. He stopped in the doorway, and seeing you were busy on the phone he thought he would stop by later to give you some privacy. But he stopped when he heard you snap.

You never snap.

“Who do you think you’re talking to you ungrateful little bitch?”

“I’m talking to the people who treated me like shit my entire life and ask me for money when you wouldn’t give me the time of day for 18 fucking years.”

Even you couldn’t believe the words coming out of your mouth. But god did it feel good to say them.

“Are you fucking serious right now? We did nothing for you? What do you think we’ve been doing your whole life? We’ve done everything we did to help you be the best person you could be. You have that job now because of us and you have no right to speak to me that way.”

You chuckled darkly as you looked up at the ceiling, unaware of Bucky’s presence behind you. “My entire life all I’ve ever wanted to do was make you guys proud of me. But you know what? I’m fucking done. You hated me, gaslighted me, and made me hate myself almost as much if not more than you seemed to hate me.”

“I did no such thing you ungrateful -”

“You were supposed to love me and care for me, and all you did was take advantage of me. I’m not your child, I’m a paycheck. I don’t owe you anything because you gave me nothing. So you know what? FUCK. YOU.”

You hung up the phone and tossed it across the room, adrenaline taking over your body as you tried to stop shaking. Because a small part of you felt bad.

But fuck did that feel amazing.

You heard a throat clear behind you and you turned around to see Bucky, eyebrows furrowed in concern.

“You okay?”

You nodded nervously, rubbing the sides of your arms. “Yeah, I’m fine,” you said, unconvincingly. “How much, uh...how much did you -

“Enough,” he said, pushing himself off of the door frame as he crossed over to you. “Who was that?”

“Bucky, don’t, it’s really fine. I just got a little worked up.”

“Y/n,” he started, looking at you with concern. “Who were you talking to?”

“No one.”

“You don’t get upset like that at no one,” he took your hands in his. “Y/n, you're shaking.”

It was then that you realized your hands were still shaking, trying to keep the anxiety of what happened at bay.

It’s going to be so much worse now.

I can never talk to them again.

Is that a good thing? Didn’t I want that?

Bucky could sense you getting lost in your head. “Sweetheart, tell me what happened, please. I want to help you.”

You pulled your hands away from his and crossed your arms. “You can’t help me because there’s nothing wrong, okay? I handled it, it’s over. Done. nothing to worry about.”

“Y/n -”

“No really, there’s nothing you can do, okay?”

“Will you at least let me try?”

You looked at him, adrenaline starting to drain from your system. This was Bucky, your Bucky, who had never done anything but love and support you. He had never done anything to hurt you.

But what if he left you too?

You took in a sharp breath and curled in on yourself, a scared look on your face. Bucky crossed back over to you, seeing a scared look on your face.

“Hey, hey, y/n? Can you look at me?”

You brought your eyes up to meet his, feeling your chest constricting as you tried to keep your breathing even. It wasn’t working.

“I - I’m sorry, you shouldn’t… I’m fine really I’m sorry, I’m so sorry”

“Hey, it’s alright, it’s okay, you have nothing to apologize for,” he pulled you in for a hug and kissed the top of your head. “Let’s go sit down, okay?’

He led you over to your bed and you leaned forward, hands on your knees and head in your hands. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s happening, this - I’m sorry, it’s so stupid, I’m so stupid.”

Bucky rubbed a hand up and down your back, hushing you. “It’s not stupid. If it’s bothering you, it’s not stupid.” Bucky took a small breath. “Do you remember all of those times after nightmares and all those panic attacks you would walk me through? How I thought I was being stupid?”

“You weren’t being stupid”

“And neither are you.”

You took some more shaky breaths as tears kept falling down your face. “You’re okay. It’s alright, I’m right here.”

Bucky let you calm down, knowing you would talk about it if you wanted to. He wanted you to talk about it so he could help you (and hurt whoever upset you) but he wouldn’t force you into telling him anything you didn’t want to.

The two of you sat in the silence, Bucky looking at you with soft eyes as you kept your face hidden.

“I haven’t told you a goddamn thing about me. You ever wonder why?”

You looked over at Bucky, eyebrows creased with slight confusion.

“They said blood was supposed to be thicker than water. That family comes first, right? I spent my whole life listening to them and following them and being the perfect kid. I made myself into everything they wanted me to be. And it still wasn’t enough for them.”

Bucky tilted his head slightly. He hadn’t known his parents much before they died but he had always wanted to have more time. But he wasn’t oblivious to the fact that not everyone had good parents.

“You know, I remember thinking that once I made it they would be happy. That if I worked hard enough or went onto do great things that they would be proud of me. That’s all I ever wanted, you know?” you said, voice wavering as you let out a bitter laugh. “But it’s not, you know? Never is, never was, never will be. All they do is take and take and no matter how good I am they’re always gonna hate me because I can’t be perfect.”

“No one’s perfect, y/n.”

“Well that’s what they want me to be. I know I can’t be perfect so I know they’ll never be happy. That they’ll call me ungrateful and selfish for succeeding and for leaving them when they never wanted me to be there to begin with.” You felt tears spill over as you wiped them away. “And I’m ust so fucking done with being a disappointment to them and to everyone else.”

“Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

“I don’t know,” you said softly, not really wanting to be more vulnerable.

Bucky, sensing this was a time he could push you, challenged you. “I think you do.”

You shook your head. “I didn’t want anyone to see me the way they did. I thought what they said wasn’t true but...I just thought that maybe I was overreacting. Other people have it worse you know - some people have no parents or some have it so much worse. Mine just yell at me you know? Tell me everything’s my fault and that they wish they’d never had me. That I’m ungrateful for not being with them and that I owe them. I just...I heard that for the first 18 years of my life. I didn’t need any more of it.”

“y/n, that’s…” he swallowed, trying to contain his anger. “That’s not normal. No one should have to go through that. You can’t possibly think you're a bad person.”

Your shrug was enough to tell him that you did.

“Y/n, I don’t know who your parents think they are but you don’t owe them a damn thing. You may be related to them but you have no obligation to love your parents if they treat you like that. You have every right to be angry or to hate them. It doesn’t make you a bad person to be angry with someone who hurt you.”

“But they’re my family.”

“Well they didn’t treat you like it. You have us now, you don’t need them anymore. We’re your family. And we’re not gonna leave you.”

“They didn’t leave me Bucky, I left them.”

“You can’t leave someone who was never there for you.”

----------

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stargirlfics · 3 years

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Daddy!Hen being so confused and worried about why you've been so quiet lately and he knows you're not sleeping well but he hasn't figure out how to ask. Then one morning you wake up alone in bed and panic because he's gone and you can't keep from crying as you wander through his place (bc you know he's probably somewhere but your panic tho) and you find him in the kitchen making breakfast, which he abandons immediately upon seeing yr tears. He holds you so tight and swears he'll never leave you.

I’ve been sitting on this for awhile bc this scenario is very close to home for me, I struggle with abandonment issues and have experienced that fear of waking up and my partner isn’t there but nearby or gets up to do something and I’m so anxious that all I can feel is terrified he’s leaving me and lately I’ve been feeling that anxiety again and decided maybe finding this ask in my inbox again and the second part you sent and writing it will help me put this panic somewhere and maybe help comfort someone who experiences the same so thank you! 💓

Warnings: mentions of angst, abandonment issues/anxiety, ddlg dynamic!

You and Henry both hated having to part from each other in the mornings and adored the stretches of time you could wake up next to each other which was most of the time

But it also wasn’t an odd occurrence for Henry not to be in bed with you when you woke up

He always seemed to wake up before you too, sometimes he’d slip out for a morning run or to make you breakfast and most of the time it didn’t concern you or scare you

But lately things had been off, anxiety swirling deep in your chest, sleep harder and harder to come by, a restless itch in your bones to cling to him, to the people in your life that held things intact bc it all felt like it was slipping away

Henry could sense something was wrong, he was attentive especially so being your Daddy, nothing went unnoticed by him and your silence about what you were feeling told him he needed to coax it out of you

It was very easy for you to get in your head about things and the panic within you was only fueled by overthinking if you should tell him you were slipping back into some of your abandonment anxieties

The words often got caught in your throat and clambered and choked their way back down, back in, back to the silent war in your head in fear that this time he’d surely get tired of this coming up again

So Sunday morning rolled around, a free day for you both and your sleep had been full of half remembered nightmares, a sliver of relief coming when you opened your eyes and knew you could find safety in the arms of the big strong man that you loved so much

Only he wasn’t there

The space he occupied in your shared bed was empty and devoid of any warmth or sign that he had been there

Your heart began to race and tears pricked at your eyes as you jolted upright, frantically scrambling out of bed to find him

You reasoned he had to be nearby, he had to be somewhere, he couldn’t have just left, he couldn’t have slipped away in the middle of the night with his bags packed and enough time to get as far away from you as possible, it just couldn’t be true

Stumbling through the house you check the bathroom, the spare bedroom, hell even the closets in the hallways, crying harder and harder with each second passing that you couldn’t find him

Each step you took, each moment that went on the more the idea cemented in your mind that Henry had finally left, had finally grown tired of being your Daddy, that he wanted nothing to do with you, that he didn’t love you anymore, that you were too much, too messy, too fucked in the head to be around any longer

The panic was rising and loud, clouding your brain, infecting your body, grabbing you by the ankles and pulling you down where it could cradle you, old wounds bleeding

Eventually you stumbled into the kitchen, releasing a breath you didn’t know you were holding when you saw Henry at the stove, something sizzling in a pan but you couldn’t focus on specifics right now

Relief, hurt, and still panic shot itself through your system and you let go of the sobs you’d been holding in, confusion and dread all spilling out

Henry was about to greet you when he heard your sobs, dropping everything to come to your side

He was worried and trying to get you to calm down between your sobs and tell him what was going on but you couldn’t, all you could do was cling to him tightly and cry into his chest

“I’m here, petal. Daddy’s here, I got you now, you’re ok.”

Henry rubbed your back, hating to see you so upset and crying your heart out and feeling like he couldn’t do anything to help

But eventually your sobs turned into sniffles and you could speak now between shuddering breaths and whimpers, letting Henry dry your eyes and rock you gently in his arms

You refused to be put down, crying again when he tried to set you down on the island counter but calming again when he stayed near you, his arms folding around you

“I-I thought you had left me, Hen. I woke up and you weren’t there and I just got so scared you decided you had enough of me.”

Henry’s heart broke a little hearing your tiny voice so pained and upset but it all clicked into place now, he understood now why you’d been so restless lately, why you had trouble sleeping, why you were so quiet too

“Oh, sweetheart. Look at me please, there you go, there’s my little baby. I know you were scared and I know you’re feeling a lot of big scary feelings right now but I promise you I’m right here, daddy’s not going anywhere. I want to be right here with you and Kal! There’s no other little girl that I want to be mine, ok.”

His voice was gentle, concerned but not upset with you, his words reassuring you that he wasn’t mad or annoyed with you, that he wanted to stay and wanted you and always would

You nodded and buried your face into his chest, just wanting to be near him for awhile longer, your head pounding now from how hard you’d been crying

Henry talked to you for a bit longer, making sure you told him all that you were feeling, doing his best to just listen and let you have the space to express what was hurting before giving you the comfort and love you needed so desperately

And after your tears and sniffles had subsided, he made sure to give you some medicine for your headache and promised that today would be all about you and that he’d let you stick by him all day if you wanted

You both knew you were slipping very much into littlespace, a comfort for you when things were stressful and hard and Henry was more than delighted to take on caregiver duties today

He let you help him finish making breakfast, praising you for flipping the pancakes just right, sitting you in his lap and cutting up your pancake into smaller pieces before feeding them to you and laughing when some of the syrup got on your chin

“Can daddy have a bite too?”

“Mhm, we can share! They’re super yummy.”

The anxiety was still there, you both knew how this went and he could tell it upset you and that you did your best to ignore it and lean into what you knew was true but it didn’t stop you from needing reassurance and more of your tears dried throughout the day

“It’s ok to cry, little one. Sometimes you have to cry to get all the icky out, right? Mhm, and I’m not annoyed, just happy to be right here with you.”

Henry had a few work calls and things to do throughout the day but let you sit next to him and color and play with your stuffies in his office so that you didn’t feel left out!

And when it was your nap time he kept an arm around you, hushing you and soothing you to sleep, reassuring you that he would be right there when you wake up and he’d have your favorite juice box ready too

At dinner he let you help him get all the ingredients out so he could make your favorite dish which made you very happy and excited

He even allowed you to have two scoops of ice cream for dessert too!

And at bedtime he got you ready in your softest jammies and helped you brush your teeth and do your skincare routine before you snuggled into bed with him and you favorite stuffie, your body immediately gravitating towards his

“There we go, you’ve had a long day today, bunny and I’m very proud of you for getting through all those scary feelings today. I promise I’ll be right here when you wake up in the morning and guess what?”

“What, daddy?!!”

“I love you with all my heart and I never want to be without my favorite little girl.” 💖

Ok I’m soft, berry soft! I’m glad I wrote this out!

#daddy!henry cavill x little!reader #daddy!henry cavill x black little!reader #henry cavill x little!reader #henry cavill headcanons #henry cavill angst #henry cavill blurb

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robininthelabyrinth · 3 years

Note

🧿🤠🐇🍲🍯: Lan Wangji does not think it’s safe to raise A-Yuan in Cloud Recesses after the Lans participated in the killing of his zhiji and the entire Burial Mounds community (or more accurately that it’s not safe while he himself is in seclusion and can’t watch over A-Yuan, at least) so he delivers A-Yuan to the one person who he knows did not stand against Wei Wuxian (and got away with it, bc this person has never stood against anything, since standing takes effort): Nie Huaisang.

Little Side Door - ao3

Nie Huaisang’s rooms in the Unclean Realm had a little side door that no one but him ever used.

They hadn’t originally. The Unclean Realm was a fortress, designed to maximize protection and defense; there was no better place for keeping things safe by locking them away. While it had its fair share of boltholes and escape routes, they were not common and universally difficult to access lest the enemy learn of them and use them to their advantage. Even the layout of their open spaces were carefully planned lest the attack come from the sky, a concern that only cultivators had, and not about how they themselves could escape – after all, weren’t they all Nie, ready to die rather than endure dishonor?

The little side door that led to Nie Huaisang’s room opened onto a small rock garden, left to grow wild with weeds rather than reveal its presence to more people. It existed only because his brother had ordered it constructed by those he trusted most, all in secret in the dark of the night. He had never explained why he had gone to such lengths to create such an unwelcome and inauspicious place, but then, he hadn’t needed to – Nie Huaisang had been there, too, when his father had descended into madness and they had been trapped in the familial quarters with no way out that did not take them through him. If his brother had been the one to brave his father’s rage directly, Nie Huaisang had been the one stuck in a small space that was only not claustrophobic because it was so painfully familiar.

Now, though his father was long dead and gone, Nie Huaisang had a little side door.

A little side door, and a little garden that almost no one knew about; in combination with the saber that his brother forced him to learn and the golden core he had so begrudgingly formed, he now had a way to reach the sky and the illusive freedom it represented – the freedom to flee and leave his home behind.

If it ever happens again – his brother had said once, the closest he had ever come to speaking of it.

He did not finish his sentence, as Nie Huaisang had thrown his plate into his face and stormed off, steaming mad and close to tears. He did not raise the subject a second time.

Nie Huaisang did not often use his little side door.

Although he enjoyed gardens, he preferred the aviary he’d constructed, or one of the myriad of well-tended gardens in the main part of the sect; even the vegetable gardens out back beside the kitchens were far more welcoming than that sparse straggle of land. He’d only ever spent time there when he was a child and in desperate need of some quiet, wanting to avoid adults with their arguments and their miseries; he’d taken some friends there because he thought it might impress them, but it hadn’t, and anyway his brother had put a stop to that soon enough.

He didn’t even think about the little side door, most days. It was just a part of the room, a small tucked away corner with nothing in it. Nothing to think about.

And then, of course, years after he’d put it out of his mind entirely, there came a terrible banging noise at that little side door, like someone was kicking at it furiously from the outside.

Nie Huaisang nearly fell over sideways in his scramble to get up, and then once again when he realized where the noise was coming from – almost no one knew about his side door and its little garden, and so no one had ever come to him through it. Who would be knocking now…?

He opened it.

Lan Wangji, white robes stained with blood and cheeks bright with fever, shoved something into his arms. “You have a child now,” he said through bitten lips. “Congratulations. He is called A-Yuan. I entrust you with his care, for my sect cannot be trusted with it.”

And then he turned and staggered away, mounting up on Bichen and flying off before Nie Huaisang could say anything – before he could even finish searching his memories and recalling that yes, in fact, Lan Wangji had been one of the friends he had shown the side door to, years and years before, and thus knew how to find it. Before he could even start processing the thousands of thoughts that had spring to life, fully formed, at all the information he’d just received: the bloody robes, the desperation, the reference to the Lan sect – the Lan sect! – being somehow untrustworthy…

He looked down at his arms.

“Congratulations,” he echoed blankly. “I have a child now.”

The child blinked up at him, and then smiled.

“Da-ge!” Nie Husiang howled, rushing into the sect leader’s study where his brother was doing work – luckily it wasn’t receiving hours and he wasn’t in the main hall, as that would have been unfortunate. “Da-ge, you have to help me! I have a child now!”

His brother stared at him, expression blank and mouth slightly agape. The brush in his hand dripping ink onto a now-wasted piece of paper.

“Huaisang,” he said after a moment. “What the fuck.”

Nie Huaisang nodded furiously.

“Where did you get – how – who – what did you do?!”

“I am currently unable to disclose any details,” Nie Huaisang said promptly even as his brother tossed aside the brush and got up, striding over with a storm brewing in his face. “All I can say is that I have to raise this child now. By which I mean, you have to help me raise this child now; I can’t raise children! I’m not mature enough to raise a child!”

“No kidding! Why would someone entrust – to you…” Nie Mingjue trailed off, looking down at the child with a frown that shifted from disbelieving irritation to concern. He pressed his hand to the child’s forehead. “Huaisang, this child has a high fever. We need to get him to the medical wing at once – is that blood?”

“Not his, I don’t think?”

“I don’t want to know,” his brother decided. “Move.”

Some time later, they were both sitting next to the bed in one of the spare rooms in the family quarters; Nie Huaisang thought it might even have been the same one that he’d used when he was very young. A-Yuan was sleeping, and Nie Mingjue was still holding his little hand in his own, having been clocked as the oversize comfort animal that he not-so-secretly was from the very first moment A-Yuan laid eyes on him.

The doctors had declared A-Yuan’s fever to be very severe, but they had applied plenty of medicine – the Lan sect might have more esoteric healing techniques, but there wasn’t anything like the Nie sect when it came to standard medicine for injuries and illnesses associated with the battlefield, and despite A-Yuan’s tender age Nie Huaisang would be willing to bet that his injuries were from a battlefield. They were confident that A-Yuan would make a full recovery, body and mind both intact, although they warned that his memory of the past might be impacted.

Nie Huaisang had thought about all that blood that wasn’t his, of Lan Wangji pale-faced and wild-eyed, and decided that a little bit of forgetting might not be so bad after all.

“Are you going to tell me anything more,” his brother said after a while. “Or should I just give up now?”

Nie Huaisang leaned over and patted his knee. “It’s good that you know your limitations.”

His brother rolled his eyes.

“I can’t believe this is my life,” he remarked.

“What part?” Nie Huaisang asked, curious. “The fact that we have a kid now, because obviously we’re keeping him? Or the fact that someone gave a kid to me?”

“Both,” his brother decided. “Definitely both.”

“His name’s A-Yuan,” Nie Huaisang said. “Apparently.”

“Well,” his brother said. “Obviously that won’t do.”

Nie Huaisang had the ability to be sneaky when he wanted to be. It wasn’t a matter of stealth, he had explained to his brother, but sneakiness– a completely different concept. Stealth suggested that he was doing something to conceal himself and required skills and talent, or else a lot of practice, and obviously Nie Huaisang was not going to go in for either of those.

Sneakiness, though…

He didn’t need people not to be able to see him in order to be sneaky. He just needed them not to care about him, or wonder where he was.

“Psst,” he said, knocking on the window to the rooms where Lan Wangji was purportedly practicing seclusion. “Psst! Lan Zhan!”

Lan Wangji had given him a child. They were definitely past the ‘Lan-er-gongzi’ stage.

“Lan Zhan!” he rapped at the window with his fan. “We need a courtesy name!”

There was some sounds from within the jingshi, mostly stumbling around. Nie Huaisang waited patiently, and after a few moments the window opened and Lan Wangji stared out at him. He was as pale as a ghost with lips as red as blood, and very clearly not in seclusion at all, but rather in the midst of healing whatever wounds had left him bloody – he probably shouldn’t have gotten out of bed to answer.

Oh, well. Too late for regret now.

“You shouldn’t be here,” Lan Wangji said, voice dull and eyes blank as he stared at Nie Huaisang. It was unclear if he meant in the Cloud Recesses generally, or here in particular, interrupting his ‘seclusion’.

“Didn’t you hear me?” Nie Huaisang said, scowling at him. “We need a courtesy name! A courtesy name for the child, you hear me? You know, of course, that Qinghe Nie don’t use personal names, not even for children – certainlynot for children older than their first year. It’d be a complete giveaway that he’s not organically ours if we call him something like A-Yuan.”

Lan Wangji raised a hand to pinch his nose. “Please go away.”

“Courtesy name, Lan Zhan. I mean, I may be the one who’ll be raising him, but please think carefully: do you really want meto be the one naming him?”

“…call him Sizhui.”

“Sizhui,” Nie Huaisang repeated. “With the characters…?”

Lan Wangji nodded.

“Uh, no,” Nie Huaisang said. “I need a bettercourtesy name. Are you joking?”

“Nie Huaisang. Go away.”

“But –”

Lan Wangji slammed the window shut.

“…fine,” Nie Huaisang said to the closed window. “Be that way, see if I care. Not like we don’t need to build up a decent coparenting relationship or anything eventually.”

He thought he heard a choking sound from behind the door and smirked.

“Don’t you think you can baby-trap me and just walk away, Lan Zhan,” he said in his best ominous tone. “If you wanted someone to raise your kid without ever consulting you again, you should’ve dropped him off in the Lotus Pier with Jiang Cheng, who’d probably be too busy being confused to even question where he came frome – but no. You came to me. I don’t make decisions in the best of times, least of all good. I have questions. A lot of questions.”

He thought about it for a moment.

“Not about how you got him or anything like that,” he said. “I’m not stupid, I can tell a secret when I see one. But, you know, other types of questions. Parenting stuff. Are you a ‘go sit and think about what you’ve done’ sort of parent? Or more traditional discipline, with copying lines and occasionally strikes when they’re naughty? Do you want him to learn the Lan sect rules along with the Nie sect principles –”

There was a muffled sound from inside the house.

It sounded angry.

“…we can talk about it later,” Nie Huaisang decided. He might’ve pushed his luck a bit too much. “Talk later!”

“You have a…what?” Lan Xichen asked, his smile a little fixed and stare a little wilder than normal.

“A nephew!” Nie Mingjue gushed. “Isn’t he wonderful?”

“Nephew.”

“He’s so well behaved, too! He plays quietly by himself most of the time, drawing and even writing a little, and Huaisang’s already teaching him how to play the dizi –”

“When you say nephew, do you mean Nie Huaisang’s child?”

“Do I have other brothers?” Nie Mingjue rolled his eyes at him. “He’s obviously not yours. Anyway, I know Meng Yao is expecting one, too, but he wouldn’t be dressed in Nie colors if it was his, would it?”

“Yes, but…are you telling me that…that Nie Huaisang…”

“It’s a battlefield child, Xichen,” Nie Mingjue said patiently. “Obviously. Someone entrusted him to Huaisang.”

“Oh,” Lan Xichen said, looking relieved. “Yes, that makes more sense…wait.”

Nie Mingjue waited.

“Someone entrusted him to Nie Huaisang?”

“I know, right?” Nie Mingjue said, and Lan Xichen didn’t notice how strained his grin had suddenly become, or how thoughtful his eyes were as he surveyed Lan Xichen as if trying to find an answer to a question. “I would’ve assumed they’d go for someone more responsible, like you. Guess you never know…”

“I guess you don’t,” Lan Xichen agreed, looking down at the child with a bemused expression. A battlefield child, entrusted to Nie Huaisang… “They must have been truly driven to desperation.”

“Perhaps,” Nie Mingjue said, and then changed the subject to little Nie Sizhui’s accomplishments, of which he could list many at great length and very great enthusiasm. By the time he was done with that, Ln Xichen was so overwhelmed that he didn’t ask a single other question.

“So I’ve got an idea on how to do this whole co-parenting thing,” Nie Huaisang said, cracking nuts to eat. He was sitting next to Lan Wangji’s bedside, and dropping the shells straight on the floor, too, staring dead-eyed at Lan Wangji as if daring him to say something – which he wouldn’t, of course. “Since with Sizhui starting classes soon it’s become much more urgent, on account of me needing you to attend meetings with his teachers and discuss his progress.”

Lan Wangji looked deeply long-suffering. He’d only invited Nie Huaisang inside because Nie Huaisang had threatened to start shouting out his business loudly on account of oh but Lan Zhan, how was I to know if you could hear me in there, I just had to raise my voice just in case because I wouldn’t want you to miss any of the extremelyimportant news –

It was all Lan Wangji’s fault for being born earlier than Nie Huaisang, Nie Huaisang thought virtuously. It was merely Nie Huaisang’s lot in life to fulfill the role of annoying younger brother to everyone.

“See, it’s the music,” Nie Huaisang continued. “You do music, right?”

Lan Wangji’s ice-cold glare suggested that he did, in fact, ‘do music’.

“So your brother has been playing this song for da-ge on a regular basis,” Nie Huaisang explained, ignoring the glare entirely. “And when he’s not available, which is most of the time nowadays, he’s been sending san-ge instead. Even though, of course, poor san-ge’s so busy back at Lanling all the time…ughh, it’s so unfair, you know! Poor san-ge has to do all the work of being the heir and gets none of the benefits, and they pile even more work on him on top of that – really, he gets no respect.”

Lan Wangji’s expression suggested he didn’t care.

“And think about the inconvenience to us!” Nie Huaisang sallied forth, undeterred. “People coming and going all the time, da-ge having to interrupt his schedule of spending quality time with me and Sizhui – and sect leader work, of course, though that’s less important – in order to march over to greet them and host them and listen to them…what a pain it is!”

Lan Wangji appeared on the verge of suggesting that Nie Huaisang consider getting to the point.

“So you should come do it instead.”

Lan Wangji’s expression cracked, suggesting that Nie Huaisang had actually managed to make an impact.

“You remember,” he said, voice low and a little hoarse from all that refusing to speak he’d been doing. Really, if Nie Huaisang wasn’t around to goad him into it, he might’ve lost the voice entirely – he didn’t even have little Sizhui around to force him to speak! “That I’m in seclusion. Right?”

“You’re horribly lonely is what you are,” Nie Huisang said briskly. “You require company. Therefore, coming to take up a semi-permanent posting in the Unclean Realm to play the Song of Clarity for my brother morning, noon, and night is clearly the finest way to solve all of our problems, and for you to see little Sizhui as often as you like.”

Lan Wangji visibly wavered. “My brother,” he said, then coughed. “My brother will never believe it.”

“That’s your problem,” Nie Huaisang said. “Find a way to sell it.”

He stood, shaking the remaining shells onto the chair.

“See you in Qinghe soon, Lan Zhan..!”

Lan Wangji was trying to kill him with his mind, Nie Huaisang thought happily as he wandered off with a whistle and a vaguely silly expression. Good – he’d been inside for too long. He needed the stimulation.

“Truly,” Nie Mingjue remarked, strolling around their gardens without any apparent notice of the small child perched on his shoulders, giggling wildly at the feeling of being tall, “I feel far better than I did before! One can scarcely compare it – night and day, really. Your Lan sect’s Song of Clarity is a marvel, even if it does take a while before it kicks in.”

“Mm,” Lan Wangji said, walking slowly with his hands behind his back. He was still unsteady on his feet on account of the absolutely horrific injuries he’d incurred – but if the Lan sect’s response to everything was seclusion, seclusion, seclusion, then the Nie sect’s equivalent response was exercise. These little excursions through the gardens were the result.

Thus far, they were still only doing laps around the main gardens, but Nie Huaisang had plans to eventually force Lan Wangji to go even as far as his own little side garden. He’d made it through his side door once, after all; why not a second time..?

At any rate, Nie Huaisang still wasn’t quite sure how Lan Wangji had talked Lan Xichen into allowing him to come to the Unclean Realm, but it really did make the whole co-parenting business a lot more convenient. And his brother had had so much fun making Lan Wangji stiff and awkward over all his thanks and praise for his decision to come ‘help out’ with Nie Sizhui’s raising until finally, at last, Nie Huaisang had taken pity and revealed that Nie Mingjue knew perfectly well whose battlefield child this was.

Both in terms of who had gifted him to Nie Huaisang, and who’d adopted him originally, and of course even his original surname – The little tot’s been through enough adoptions to make anyone’s head spin, his brother had said, his voice gruff as always. There’s no point in thinking back too far, is there?

Lan Wangji had been very relieved.

“Run, bobo!” Nie Sizhui cried, pointing over at a bird. “We need to get it for Sang-gege!”

Nie Mingjue snorted like a bull but obediently quickened his feet and left the rest of them behind, heading in full charge straight at the wild pheasant that was far more likely to end up on Nie Huaisang’s plate than in his aviary. It was about even odds which one Nie Sizhui meant, anyway.

“Nie Huaisang,” Lan Wangji said, his voice low, and Nie Huaisang looked at him. “The Song of Clarity does not take time to work. These effects should have happened at once.”

Nie Huaisang opened his fan, hiding his face as he frowned. “How odd,” he said. “And after san-ge put in all that hard work.”

“Perhaps he played it wrong.”

“Odd,” Nie Huaisang said again. “When san-ge gets so very little wrong…has your brother sent any word on the Xue Yang issue?”

“…he has not.”

“He’s going to need to pick a side eventually.”

“He does not want to make things difficult for his sworn brother.”

“Does he have only the one?” Nie Huaisang asked archly, and Lan Wangji averted his gaze. “It’s awkward for us if he doesn’t back us, and is a bad look besides…truly, it’s a wonder that san-ge managed to squeeze out the time to come here.”

Lan Wangji’s frown deepened. “Indeed,” he said. “One would think his father might be tempted to stop him.”

“Wouldn’t you just?” Nie Huaisang said. “Wouldn’t you just…you know, maybe when you’re feeling better, we should go visit Lanling ourselves.”

Lan Wangji glanced at him, arching an eyebrow, and Nie Huaisang smiled, fanning himself casually.

“I’m not the only one with a little side door,” he said. “Let’s go knocking and see what we find, shall we?”

#mdzs #nie huaisang #lan wangji #lan sizhui #nie mingjue #lan xichen #my fic #my fics #little side door

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damnedparker · 2 years

Note

First fight with Pete ? 🥺 making the reader cry and instantly breaking down bc he didn’t mean it

i'm no good at writing angst i feel, but i tried my best <3 i hope it turned out okay!

9:57.

It had now been close to three hours since Peter hadn't shown up at your place for the date night you'd planned and although him being late or missing events for spider-related reasons wasn't anything new, that didn't mean it didn't hurt any less.

You understood he didn't control when criminals decided to cause chaos, and you understood the purpose being Spider-Man gave him. It lit up his eyes with determination and a feeling of self-worth that you wished he could feel all the time. Some nights it brought pain into those eyes, a sadness you wished you could cure with the thousands of kisses and soft touches you were sure you'd given him by now, but you knew it just wasn't possible. You did your best to share that weight, though. Push it off his shoulders as much as possible, letting him know the people that escaped his webs, whether for capture or for saving, they weren't his fault. He was one person, a man and not a god, and he simply couldn't do it all. And that was okay.

You understood. You always did. Because you loved Peter Parker. And you loved Spider-Man, too, but lately it'd been harder and harder to feel fondness for the superhero for stealing your time with Peter. You wished taking a sabbatical from vigilantism was possible.

So when your window slid open, a familiar blue and red leg stepping through, you were filled with relief, and also dread. You knew you had to talk to Peter about all of this. And with the tension building up about it every time you tried to bring it up the past week, you knew it would end in an argument. You and Pete really hadn't had a true fight yet, and you weren't exactly excited to get to that part of your relationship.

"Hey, beautiful," his hair popped almost comically out of the mask as he yanked it off. He made a bee-line to where you were sitting on the bed, a kiss pressed to your forehead just like every other greeting he'd given you. He seemed nervous, knowing he'd messed up, fidgeting his hands where he stood in front of you. "I'm sorry I missed date night. I know we were both excited for it..." You had to physically hold back an it's okay, Pete, because you knew it wasn't. You needed to be an adult, in an adult relationship. Because that's what you were; no matter how much Peter made you feel like two teenagers in love when he was with you.

"Can we talk?" The words alone settled a storm in your stomach. And the change in Peter's expression didn't help.

"Of course," his voice got quiet when he sat next to you. He fought the urge to hold your hand, put his arm around you, just touch you. Even though he needed it himself, and it looked like you did, too, with the way your hands picked at your shirt hem, the ten mile stare directed at your lap.

"I know Spider-Man is important to you, and he's important to me, too, because of that," you began slowly. You felt like your voice was shaking like a scared little dog. "And I will always support that part of your life. But lately I feel like I've seen more of you in that suit on my TV than I have you standing in front of me. And I just... I miss Peter Parker."

"I miss you, too," he gave a half-hearted smile. "I'm sorry... I just-- things have been chaotic lately."

"Are you going to elaborate or am I just supposed to accept that alone as an answer for the millionth time?" You gritted your teeth once the words left your mouth, in a tone far harsher than you meant. But you were frustrated. Something you couldn't hide any longer. "It doesn't hurt any less to not know what's going on when you're gone more than you're here. In fact, it's quite the opposite, actually, Peter."

"I'm just trying to keep you safe."

"You always say that, but safety and my peace of mind don't seem to be very good friends," you sighed. "Lately I just feel like-- like you don't trust me. To take care of myself, to just let me in on what's going on with you. It's always about my safety or you're too busy or whatever you say-- I'm just supposed to accept it. This is a two-way relationship but it feels like there's three of us, and Spider-Man is the one making decisions for the both of us."

"I just-- I don't want you to get--"

"Hurt. I know," you stood from the bed, crossing to the other side of the room. "I'm so tired of you saying that. Like-- like the only thing that would hurt me is a physical threat. You don't want me to get hurt, but every time you ghost me, every time I go a week without seeing you or when I do it's you next to me when I wake up covered in cuts and bruises? What about that? You think that doesn't hurt?" Tears stung your eyes now, ones you were trying desperately to keep in as you went further. "All I feel lately from you is hurt. So good job with that, Spider-Man."

"I don't want you to get involved with that part of me. You can't-- you can't take care of yourself." As soon as the words left his mouth, you both know that's not what he meant. But it didn't lessen the sting.

"Wow," you scoffed. "I'm pretty sure I survived 20 years without you before, Parker, I'm not a fucking child!"

"I never said you were!" He voice had risen above its normal level now, making you flinch. He pulled and tugged at the mask in his hands, clearly frustrated and angry now. "Every time I go out there in this stupid suit, I worry that someone is going to see me, someone will find you and decide that you can give them information on me. That you're just leverage to get what they want. Or I won't be there when you need me. I worry that I can't save you, can't you see that?"

"You don't think I worry about you every time you go out there? And it only gets worse when you come home in pieces that I try to put back together?”

"It's not the same!"

"Yes it fucking is! It's fucking worse! I don't have superpowers, I can't save you, I can't make sure you're safe. Do you know how helpless that feels?"

"You don't understand."

"Then make me!" You broke, tears coming fast and hard down your face. "Just let me in. I don't know what I'm supposed to do to make you trust me enough to do that. What am I supposed to do?"

"I can't-- you can't understand."

"Am I not good enough? Smart enough? What's the issue here, Peter?" You laughed humorlessly.

"Maybe you are!" He burst out. You reeled back, not knowing what to say. The tears came even faster than before as you backed away, out of the bedroom, ignoring Peter's apologies and panicked rambling that quickly turned to tears as he followed you to the door. You slammed it shut behind you before he could follow, your feet carrying you outside into a thoughtless path before you even realized it.

An hour or so later, you were still out in the crisp air of New York, settled on a bench blocks away from your apartment in a quiet park. You knew it was probably unsafe, but you didn't care at the moment. The tears had finally subsided, and you were left stewing in guilt and frustration. All you wanted was for Peter to let you in. You knew he was apprehensive, it had taken him over half a year to even tell you he was Spider-Man, but he never really told you much beyond that.

Your phone went off for the thousandth time since you'd stepped foot out of the apartment. It was Peter trying to call you yet again. You had read his texts, without replying, so that he would see the read receipts and at least know you were still alive.

i'm sorry, i didn't mean that at all. i was just frustrated. you're right, i didn't know what to say.

you are the love of my life, please come back and talk to me

i'm really sorry. i don't like fighting with you

i hope you're okay. i love you so much.

You wanted to talk to him, and resolve this, but you didn’t know what to say to him. Not over text, and not when you were sulking in your feelings out in the cold.

You hugged your arms closer to your chest, in an attempt to get warm, when the sky opened up and began to downpour on you. All you could do was sit there as the rain soaked you to your bone, not even a thin jacket to attempt to shelter you from the weather. You just closed your eyes and sighed in defeat when you thought of the walk of shame you'd have to embark on in the rain. So you sat for a little longer.

“I don’t think this is great weather for a walk in the park.” Peter’s voice nearly made you jump out of your skin. When you turned, you were surprised to see him in normal clothes, an umbrella sheltering him from the rain. Thunder sounded overhead, vibrating your already shivering body. You just shrugged, wiping at your face as if he could tell the rain from your angry tears. He came to sit next to you, settling the umbrella between the two of you. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said. You are anything but a problem in my life, I need you to know that.” His eyes screamed and begged apologies left unsaid, frantically searching yours to try and gauge if you would understand. “I know I need to balance everything more. I need to make time for you and the plans we make. Emergencies do happen, but I should be trying harder.” You murmured a thank you with a small smile, one that made Peter warm to the tips of his toes. He hated not seeing you happy, especially when it was his fault. He reached out to take your hand. “You’re freezing, come here.” You let him pull you into his side, under his jacket that was much drier than the rest of you. He pressed a long kiss to your forehead, then one to the top your head, despite your hair still dripping wet from the rain. “I really am trying to keep you safe. I’m just… scared. I can’t lose you.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Pete. I promise,” you rested your head against his shoulder. “I know that in the worst case, I can’t control that, but genuinely, I mean it. I try to be as safe as possible. But, you know, we live in New York. Even if you weren’t Spider-Man, danger is still out there. It’s just a part of life. And I don’t like thinking about that either, but it’s the truth.” You kissed his jaw and looked up at him. Tears welling in his eyes, you squeezed him tighter to you to let him know you were there. “You can’t keep everything from that part of you locked up inside forever, baby. It won’t end well.”

“I know,” he whispered, almost inaudible over the rain pattering against the pavement and umbrella over your heads. He sucked in a breath and looked down at you. His hand came up to touch your cheek, brushing some drops of rain away from your face. “I’ll be more open, I promise, it’s just...“ He choked on the words a bit before he was able to continue. “It’s hard. The last time I let someone in on that part of Spider-Man…”

“I know.” You murmured. He’d mentioned Gwen a few times, but nothing very in depth aside from a brief explanation of what had happened to her. You knew it was a tough spot for him to talk about, and you didn’t want to push him on that front. “Just… let me in, okay? Even just a little bit. I’m here for you, no matter what. You know I love you, Peter Parker."

“I love you more than anything,” he sighed, almost in relief over everything. Peter leaned his forehead against yours and closed his eyes. “I’m sorry.” Your eyes softened as he said it again. The only response you could think of was leaning in for a kiss, pouring all of your feelings into it. Even the uncertainty. But most of all, the love, and the reassurance that everything would be okay.

#peter parker x reader #tasm peter parker x reader #andrew garfield peter parker x reader #andrew garfield!peter parker x reader #tasm!peter parker x reader #my fics #requests

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fangurk · 3 years

Text

She’s Always There (Paul Lahote x Reader)

Key:

Y/n: Your Name

Y/l/n: Your Last Name

Y/n/n: Your Nickname

Y/e/c: Your Eye Color

Y/h/c: Your Hair Color

Prompt Given To Me By @ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhghhhh.tumblr.com: hey!! so the reason I'm messaging is because I wanted to request something but can't fit it all into an ask lmao. anyways could i please request a Paul Lahote x reader where the reader has been super close to the whole pack for years and has been Paul's imprint but doesn't know it (bc Sam thought it would be best to keep u away from it all) and they decide to finally tell you about being shapeshifters and being Paul's imprint and you're so mad about them not telling u earlier and there's a huge argument and they and Paul tries to calm you down but you say stuff like 'leave me alone' and things like that and it sounds like you're rejecting him/the bond in ur angry breakdown. anyways Paul is heartbroken and can't get out of bed or eat or anything so the guys finally convince you to come back bc they and Paul need you and it's just the reader cuddling with him and getting him out of bed to take a shower and eat and he realizes that you're not going anywhere and it's just like healing the imprint bond? sorry for this WALL of text, I've just had this idea stuck in my head for a while lol. if you don't want to do it, that's completely fine!! thank you for your time ♡

ok so my guy,, bc this fic has been stuck in my head for a bit, some scenes have developed? so idk i hope this isn't too much, but if u do write it, would u be willing to add like some angst to it, obvi, and maybe a scene/part lol where when the reader tries to get him to shower (bc the misinterpreted rejection made him like super depressed and he just felt low about himself) he won't shower, because he doesn't want to come out and the reader is gone. so either they shower together (not smutty just angst&fluff) or she sits like in the bathroom while he showers LOL. and when he feels a bit better, they go down to eat and he's touching some part of her at all times. if this is too much to like,, include then that's a-okay. i just need to get this OUT of my MIND ugh lmao!/!

Reader Gender: Female

Summary: The Reader has been friends with most of the pack members for her whole life. Which is why, after months of silence and strange changes, she was willing to let them back into her life— until she finds out she’s been told lies that leave her in danger, of course. After a big freak out and two weeks of avoiding them, the boys come begging for her help; it turns out that Paul has some wolf-y claim on her, and whatever she said to him has left him worse for wear...

Warnings: Mentions of Depression, Nudity, Angst, and Cursing.

A/n: this is literally like a whole novel I’m so sorry I got carried away. this is kinda based on a lot of fics I read where the imprint has the potential to really hurt people and I named Paul’s dad.

Word Count: 2.9k+

“The legends are real!?”

Y/n Y/l/n hasn’t ever been so disturbed in her entire life.

After weeks of radio silence, Sam Uley’s little ‘gang’, mostly consisting of people she’d known since childhood, had slowly trickled back into her life. What started as a grocery run with Paul or a movie with Jared had turned into big bonfire parties including Jacob Black and his gaggle.

But that was months ago. Months. And now, as she sits by a fire, surrounded on either side by them, they decide to tell her their little secret?

“Y/n.” Sam says as she abruptly stands, eyes stern and hand raised placatingly.

His actions only served to upset her more and her skin bristles with irritation. Sam was acting as if she, a human surrounded by shape shifters, was the unstable one. As if she could do any damage to things built to kill vampires.

“Don’t you dare, Sam.” She clenches her fists, glaring right back at him. “It’s been months- months- and you’re telling me now?”

“It’s not exactly an easy thing to bring up.” He reasons, voice a little less demanding. “We all wanted to be sure that you were ready to know.”

“Ready?!” Y/n laughs mirthlessly, y/e/c eyes wide with disbelief, “When was I supposed to be ready Sam? W-when one of you gored me? When a cold one ripped me apart?”

Her hands shake as she puts them on her forehead, blinking back tears. Growing up all she’d ever heard were stories of humans getting dragged into fights between wolf and vampire, and she couldn’t bring herself to look Emily in the eye because it was suddenly apparent that wolves alone could hurt people too.

It was so bad, whatever happened to Emily, that they said a bear mauled her— Y/n didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

“It’s not like that, Y/n/n.” Embry chimes in, reaching out to grab his friend's arm.

She yanks her body out of the way and gathers her belongings quickly.

“What is it like then, Call?” She holds her bag to her heaving chest, “because it seems to me that you all have the ability to turn into giant, slobbery freaks that are built for killing vampires and, after completely dropping me for weeks, you decided to keep it secret from me for months. Did it even occur to you that I would’ve been better off knowing right off the bat?!”

No one says anything. Eight shifters and two of their girlfriends sit there, just staring at her like she was speaking a different language.

“You know,” Y/n has to clear her throat to steady her wavering voice, “had you guys really been souped-up on drugs like everyone says, maybe I could’ve handled the lying. But my life was clearly potentially in danger, and you let me hang around without saying anything. I- God I don’t want to see you people right now.”

She leaves with that, stepping over logs and storming back down the beach with determination. Faintly over the roar of her heartbeat, she can hear someone scrambling to stand behind her.

“Wait!— shit, sorry-” Paul grunts, jogging to catch up with her- “Y/n-“

With an unusual gentleness, his warm hand wrapped around her forearm. For a moment, deep in the back of her mind, a foreign feeling tells her to stop, to listen; but that small voice is quickly smothered by the rational part of her brain, and she wrenches her arm from his grip.

“Don’t touch me!” She snaps, lowering her voice, “Leave me alone- I need to be alone.”

Paul stands there, dumbstruck, an unreadable look in his eyes as she walks away. And he’d continue to stand there, looking like a kicked puppy long after her retreating form became a blur amongst the darkness of the beach.

“Paul?” Sam is hesitant, hand hovering over the younger boy’s shoulder a minute before he touches him, “You okay?”

Shrugging his leader’s arm off his shoulder, Paul sighs. “No...I...I’m just gonna head home.”

Instead of going in the directions of the cars, the wolf stalks off toward the woods; Emily stands from her seat, wrapping her sweater more around herself as she watches Paul leave. Concern is written all over her features.

“He’ll be fine, Em,” He pulls her in for a hug, “it’ll all work out eventually.”

ஓ๑♡๑ஓ

Y/n does a good job of avoiding them for a while.

She turns her phone off a few days in and avoids going to First Beach, even when Washington gets a rare, warm summer feel. Books that have sat long forgotten on her shelves get read and TV shows she’s always meant to catch up on get watched; it’s boring and she runs out of options, at one point thinking of dying her hair y/f/c just to spice things up, but it allows her to think. (Or at least it allows this strange little voice in the back of her head to tell her that she needs to go back to them.)

The next time she sees any of the boys is exactly two weeks after the bonfire incident.

She’s curled up on her couch, picking at some of the Clearwaters’ fish fry and barely watching an episode of ANTM, when a fist comes banging down on her door. Turning off the TV, she tiptoes to the window, peeking under the curtain as carefully as she can.

As she expected, Jared Cameron and Embry Call are on her porch, the former standing in front of her door with his hip cocked, the other rooting around in her mother’s plants for something. Cringing, she hopes if she’s quiet enough that they’ll just go away.

Her front door opens within minutes, however, and she realizes her hoping is fruitless.

Should’ve known you can’t hide from wolves, she can’t help but think bitterly.

“Y/n?” Jared calls out through the house, “we know you’re here.”

“Yeah, and you guys should probably move your spare key,” Embry tacks on, flicking the light switch to the living room up, “I've known you forever and it’s still in the same place.”

From her spot by the window, the y/h/c haired girl glares at the two boys, arms crossed over her chest. Embry gives her a lopsided grin and holds the key out to her, his bud plopping down on the couch and pulling her abandoned plate into his lap.

Y/n extends a hand to take the key.

“Has it really been in the same place?” She sounds a little more defeated than she’d like.

“Yeah, it’s always been in your mother’s cornflower pot.”

“That’s...kinda sad.” She wrinkles her nose, pocketing the key with the intention to hide it better later, “but uh, I’ve been ignoring you for two weeks for a reason. Peacefully breaking into my house kinda furthers my need for space.”

Embry scratches the back of his neck.

“Well,” He says, “we need you to come back, man. Paul won’t talk to anyone- Sam doesn’t know if he’s eating, and he won’t even get out of bed for patrol! He needs his imprint-”

“His what?” She cocks her head to the side and Jared snorts from the couch.

“She left before we got there, nimrod,” Jared mocks through a mouthful of food, “she doesn’t know what an imprint is.”

He lets out an indignant “Hey!” as Y/n walks by, snatching her plate back from him on her way to the kitchen. Embry chases after her, a grumpy Jared jumping up from the couch to follow.

“You’re his imprint— you’re basically his soulmate!”

“Really?” She says warily, sealing the fish and putting it back in the fridge.

Both boys nod clumsily.

“You remember a few weeks ago when you saw each other for the first time again and he kinda just stood there like an idiot while you talked?”

“Yeah? Oh!-” She brings her hands up to her mouth, brows furrowed as she recalls.

It was exactly Jared had said. She and Paul had seen one another for the first time in a long time and the minute her y/e/c eyes looked into his, it was like he’d been struck dumb.

Embry gives her an encouraging look, “An imprint is...It's not like love at first sight, really. It's more like… gravity moves… suddenly. It's not the earth holding you here anymore, she does… You become whatever she needs you to be, whether that's a protector, or a lover, or a friend. When you snapped at him last week he thought you were rejecting him….”

A part of her thought about how absurd it was that he knew that whole speech. But the bigger part of her came to a realization that made her stomach churn.

“So he's all depressed… because… of me?” She whispers, leaning back on the counter.

Embry, always a rather sympathetic person, opens his mouth to comfort her, but Jared cuts him off.

“Basically. So are you going to come with us so we can help Paul or are you going to continue being petty?”

In any other circumstance, Y/n probably would’ve thrown something at her for calling her petty. She felt she was completely justified in her actions. A part of her wonders if she can really believe them— they’d spent months lying to her after all. But a larger part thinks about Paul, curled up in his bed, slowly desecrating because he thinks she rejected him.

If it were really all some ploy to get her to listen to them, then she’d at least be the person who chose the well-being of her friend over a petty disagreement.

“I’m coming.” She affirms, pushing herself off the counter, and letting the boys lead her to the car.

ஓ๑♡๑ஓ

Jared and Embry drop her off in front of the Lahote household. They tell her something but she can’t really hear them over her heartbeat, she doesn’t even know they’re gone until it’s too late to turn back.

Getting into the house wasn’t the hard part. Paul’s father, Cyrus, had been leaving as she arrived, and, after he watched her stare at the house with a fearful expression for a few minutes, he happily let her in. The hard part was willing her legs to take her up the stairs to Paul’s room, and then it was opening his bedroom door.

Y/n has known Paul since they were eight, but she was afraid of him until they were eleven. He wasn’t mean, per se, but his anger made him do mean things; she wasn’t entirely happy with puberty and it’s monthly gifts, but whatever it did to make her suddenly un-afraid of him she was grateful for. But now, standing in front of his bedroom door, she had a nagging fear that Paul would revert to that eight year old boy who threw lunch boxes and twisted arms behind backs until people cried.

The door creaks slightly as she struggles to push it open.

His room is almost completely dark except for the light coming from the hallway behind her. Trash and dirty clothes have formed a compact layer on his bedroom floor, foot sized holes leading up to the twin sized bed in the corner. On the bed, amongst the blankets she’s sure he doesn’t need, is Paul— or at least, a Paul sized lump.

As gross as it is, she’s kind of relieved he’s been eating.

“Paul?” She whispers tentatively, stepping toward the bed.

The lump flinches and turns toward her.

“Y/n?”

If the room and the description of his state weren’t heartbreaking enough, his voice definitely was. Hollow, rough, and small, everything it never was, everything Paul wasn’t.

“Is that you?”

“Yeah...it’s me..”

She carefully steps over to the bed, and Paul slowly sits up, pushing his blankets to the side. There’s a beat of silence as she stands between his legs, his reluctant hands coming to rest on her waist after a minute. Y/n let’s him have another to gather his thoughts.

“You really came…” Tears well up in his eyes and loops his arms around her back.

She runs a hand through his hair. “I did, and I’m so sorry, if I had known—”

Paul nuzzles her stomach, “S’fine, you didn’t know, and you’re here now.”

There’s a sort of cute, euphoria lacing his voice and he’s visibly much more relaxed.

“Just don’t ever say that again…”

“I won’t, I promise.”

She’s surprised when he manhandles her into his lap, but she doesn’t really mind. He’s warm and strangely familiar and something about it just— clicks.

“When was the last time you spent, I dunno, a minute or two out of your room?” Y/n asks softly, y/e/c eyes glancing about the room.

The shifter’s only response is a shrug, too busy nosing around her neck with vigor. When he finds a certain spot, it makes her squeak, and this seems to excite him like a puppy finding out its favorite toy makes noise.

“You need to bathe, eat something substantial,” She intertwines their fingers, “and the...pack...they’re really worried about you— are you even listening to me?”

He looks up at her then and flashes her a sheepish smile, answering her question. Pursing her lips, she pulls his arms from around her.

“C’mon, Paul.” She stands up and takes his hand. “We’re gonna get you cleaned up.”

She moves toward the door, urging him forward, only to be jerked to a stop as he stays put. He looks a little distressed when she turns back to him, brows furrowed, almost like he’s in pain.

“Paul?”

He grunts, jaw clenched as the cogs turn in his head. Y/n cocks her head and reaches out for his other hand. It felt like some sort of supernatural intuition, one she’ll blame on the imprint and ask Emily about later.

“Paul, hon, why won’t you come shower?”

“I’m afraid you'll leave,” He says bashfully, “it’s stupid, I know, but part of me is afraid you’ll leave while I’m in the shower.”

Y/n couldn’t help but feel a little heartbroken at his confession. Paul was part wolf, and part of being part wolf was imprinting— she almost wishes she’d have stayed long enough to listen, or been able to focus as the boys debriefed her on the ride over because only being able to speculate how much she’d actually hurt him was eating her alive. He wouldn’t even shower, something he desperately needed to do, because of what she’d said.

Taking a deep breath, she barely registers the words she’s about to say.

“I’ll wait with you, I’ll sit on the toilet, you’ll see me there.”

And true to her word, Y/n does sit on the toilet while Paul showers, reading the information on soap bottles to distract herself from the fact that he was there next to her, very naked. Occasionally he asks her what she’s doing, and she reads the ingredients out loud to the best of her ability, and he laughs a little— she tries to hide her smile, but she was too happy he was laughing.

She closes her eyes when he gets out, letting him dry himself off and pull on some clean shorts. He throws the wet towel at her when he’s done, eliciting a “Hey!” that makes him laugh again.

Now that he’s clean, the two of them descend into his quiet house. Y/n navigates the kitchen, her wolf attached to her hip and being less than helpful, and makes them both something to eat— he doesn’t do much more than stand behind her, wrapped around her, making her life more difficult.

“I’m so happy you came back.” He says, watching her work.

“I was always going to.” Y/n responds, her voice sure and steady.

They talk as they eat, sitting across from one another at the too big table in the Lahote household. Talk about how this was going to work, admitting feelings that always lingered, and everything in between; she hooks her leg around his, watching him scarf down his meal with a wrinkled nose and fondness glittering in her y/e/c eyes.

He’s...gross...but he’s hers, she’s kind of stuck with him.

A date is planned. An actual date.

Paul promises to take her to the local diner (and to wear a shirt, for once.)

“I’ve been saving up for something like this.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, and you can get that dessert you like.”

Y/n laughs softly, but heat spreads up her neck and settles in her ears and cheeks. It’d been a long time since that had been her favorite food, but it was the thought that counted...

When Cyrus Lahote returns from work later that night his son and the Y/l/n girl are awkwardly situated on his couch— him on his back, snoring, her lying on top of him, face tucked into his neck, also fast asleep. The older man turns off the TV and tosses a blanket over the pair, ascending up the stairs with a smile on his face.

Y/n Y/l/n was trustworthy. She’s always there when Paul is in a rut too big for him to handle...

#paul lahote #paul lahote imagine #paul lahote x reader #twilight wolf pack imagine #twilight wolf pack #twilight fanfiction #eclipse #twilight wolf imagines #embry call #jared cameron #sam uley

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adorerdraco · 4 years

Text

I’m Here ✧ Draco x Reader

Request: Hi, so I’m not sure if you’re taking these kinds of fics for Draco, but I’ve been feeling really down lately, and I was wondering if you could write a one shot or a scenario where the reader has been having a really bad day/week and Draco comforts them? And maybe Draco lays the reader on his chest and he hums a small tune to make the reader feel better? You can ignore this if it’s an issue, but I’d really appreciate it. I love all of your fics btw! They make me really happy <3

Warnings: none bc mostly fluff, some tears, super soft!draco

Words: 1.9K

A/N: i saw this and had to do it effective immediately bc i am feeling the exact same wayyy so this was really nice to think about ;( thank you so much for requesting this and for reading my stuff and i’m so glad i can help in a way <3 i’m sending you nothing but peace, love, and light !!! but i really hope this is gooood <3 do not own gif

Life was punishing you, you thought. It had to be. Because there was no way how in the span of a week everything in your day-to-day life had gone from okay to borderline catastrophic. It was as if every situation you were in was taking its form in the worst case possible scenario and all you could do was watch hopelessly as things continuously got worse sprinkled with small misfortunes in between.

It started on a regular Monday morning, sitting down for breakfast in the Great Hall with blissful ignorance. Halfway through eating your toast, your owl had come in through the open large glass windows and dropped a letter onto your plate from home that left you some very unfortunate news and had set forth a ripple effect that began making everything else go downhill as your days progressed. By the end of the school week, you had managed to blow up a potion, lose house points because of said potion when it splashed onto some people and had some physically altering effects, tripped over your footing and fell in the middle of a crowded corridor, failed a surprise quiz, forgot to turn in an essay, got into an argument with a friend, accidentally slept in and missed a morning class, and took a trip to the hospital wing for a migraine that didn’t want to leave you alone. You could’ve sworn you had somehow been thrown into purgatory, or limbo, or something outer-worldly.

“Are you alright?” Draco had asked you right after breakfast that Monday morning as he was walking you to your first class. “What was in the letter your owl gave you? You look worried.”

“It was nothing,” you dismissed quickly, trying to put on a half-hearted smile while you spoke to make it more convincing. “I’m fine, just tired.”

It was the beginning of the week, and he did keep you up late the night before when you were sneaking around together, so he just shook his head up and down and took your excuse even though he felt like there was more to it than you were letting on. But as the days went on, he was becoming more observant of the way you were acting and even looking. He didn’t like that every morning he saw the shadows under your eyes get deeper and darker, and he didn’t like how you would close your eyes in pain when you would groan about your headache. He also didn’t like the way he hadn’t seen you truly smile or laugh all week even when he tried countless times to amuse you or cheer you up. But what he didn’t like most of all was that he felt like there was nothing he could do.

On Wednesday afternoon, he tried asking you again. You were sitting in the Quad with him on a bench and he was telling you a story from earlier in the day about how he had ‘accidentally’ tripped this Gryffindor boy and got Snape to take away house points from him that he thought for sure would you make laugh or perhaps give him a disapproving redirection, but when he glanced up to see your reaction, he noticed you weren’t even listening, to begin with. You had been staring down at your shoes and the way they lined up against the cracks in the pavement, kicking around some gravel as your mind was running a million thoughts per second.

“Love?” He said to you softly. You looked up at him swiftly with a quiet questioning hum, e/c eyes widened slightly from being ripped away from your thoughts suddenly. “You know if something’s bothering you, you can talk to me.”

“I know,” you nodded warmly. “I’m okay, Dray. I’m honestly just tired.”

And you were telling the truth, in a sense. You really were tired; physically, mentally, emotionally.

He frowned, dissatisfied with your answer. “Right, well if anything at all comes up, I’m here.”

From then on, Draco took it upon himself to try and increase his affections and compliments. He would hug you a little tighter, kiss you a little longer, whisper sweet little nothings into your ear before he left you for class. You felt a little bad lying to him, withholding the truth from him, and you saw the concern in his light gray’s when you’d meet him in the mornings and for the rest of the day, but it only made you feel a tad bit worse. You were starting to feel guilty for the way he was worrying, feeling like you were dragging him down into the dumps with you and raining on his usual carefree parades.

On Friday morning, you didn’t meet him for breakfast and you were out of the Great Hall faster than he could catch you. He felt like a stalker when he walked by your class, peeking his head in to see if you were there and well. He spotted you sitting at your desk, hunched over your unopened books with a grimace on your face and your head in your hands. He wanted to go in and whisk you away to somewhere far and quiet, but the Professor had caught him by the door and sent him on his way before he could even think of doing anything of the sort.

You felt the day had gone by extremely slow, relative to how the week was moving and also impossibly dismal. You were counting down the minutes until the end of the school day, ready to run to your dorm right after your last class and bury yourself deep into your duvet and pillows for the rest of the weekend.

Head still pounding, you trudged over to your final class, stopping outside the doors when you saw a small group of your housemates standing around with unnerved expressions as they passed each other papers and spoke in hushed tensed tones.

“I studied all night but my friend took the test earlier and she told me during lunch that it had stuff on it that wasn’t even in the reading!” You heard one exclaim in distress.

“We have a test?” You accidentally said aloud and a pair of eyes turned to look at you confusingly.

“Yeah? Professor’s been telling us all week.”

A scoff of disbelief escaped your lips, an overwhelming sense of defeat washing over you as you turned briskly on your heel and in the opposite direction of your classroom. Tears started pricking at your eyes, you felt the stinging of them wanting to be released but you refused to let them all out in the open and especially in front of people who were still taking their time to head to their classes.

You were making a beeline towards your common room, blinking rapidly to try and clear your vision that was quickly pooling with unshed tears while trying to steady your breathing in another failed attempt to calm yourself. You were nearly there, you could tell by the paintings and doors that you passed by and the black stain splattered on the floor you saw every day on your way to the dorms from someone’s dropped ink bottle that Filch hasn’t been able to get rid of.

Almost there, you kept repeatedly reminding yourself.

All hope of solace was gone when you didn’t notice the body you had unknowingly crashed into. All you felt were strong hands around your biceps, holding you in place from toppling backward and the very familiar scent of expensive cologne and mint.

“Y/N? Why aren’t you in class?” You looked up at the platinum blond sadly, his worried eyes searching yours with such care that it pushed you over the edge.

You didn’t answer him and instead wrapped your arms tightly around Draco’s middle, burying your face deep into his robes and letting out quiet and frail weeps that broke his heart. He held you tightly, pressing kisses to the top of your head and muttering soft “I’m here’s” into your hair. You stayed in his embrace for a few minutes, letting your tears freely fall into his vest with a sense of relief that only he was able to give you at this point in time.

“I’m sorry I cried on you,” you choked out when you pulled away from him, desperately wiping away at your eyes with the back of your sleeve.

“You don’t ever have to apologize for that,” he said quickly. He brought his hand up to your face, his thumb swiping delicately over a stray tear that was sitting on your jaw while you closed your eyes in comfort. “Do you want to go back to my room? I can set you up really nicely and we can talk if you’d like?”

“Yes please, I’d like that a lot.”

Draco interlocked your fingers with his, bringing the pair up to his lips with a warm kiss on the back of your hand before walking the two of you over to the entrance of the Slytherin common room. It was empty when you walked in, not a soul in sight since everyone was still in class and it made it much easier for him to sneak you into his singular Prefect room you were now extremely grateful he had. He watched contently when you shed off your robes and kicked off your shoes and immediately slipped into one of his dark green jumpers that fit you big.

You were perched on the edge of his bed, his scent from his sweater engulfing you and doing a much better job of calming you down than you wanted to admit. He followed in your footsteps and changed into something comfier and when he finally sat beside you with his hand falling over yours as an encouragement to talk - you did. You vented to him all about the letter from home, the migraine, your classes, the argument between you and your friend, and everything else that came to mind.

“And I feel bad for ignoring you and not telling you all this before but I didn’t want to burden you,” you finished with sniffles, gazing up at him with a gloomy expression.

“Y/N, I love you, and nothing you say to me is a burden,” he frowned slightly, “when I tell you I’m here, I mean it, for anything. You’re so important to me and it kills me to see you upset.”

In a careful movement, he had scooted towards you and affectionately cupped your face before placing a loving kiss on your forehead and murmured to you, “don’t ever hesitate to come to me.”

You let him pull you under his covers, draping his large duvet over your entangled bodies with your head resting right above his chest, the steady beatings of his heart instantly sending you into a much-needed peace. His chin was rested right atop your head and you felt his fingers run up and down your arm soothingly while he thought.

“Is there anything else I can do to make you feel better?” He asked quietly.

“Can you help me fall asleep?” you muttered, closing your eyes gently when his hand smoothed over the back of your hair. You felt him nod against your head and after a small moment silence, you heard him begin to hum the faint tune of your favorite song.

You lied there in bliss, enjoying the way his chest was vibrating against your ear and the way his fingers were playing with the ends of your hair, curling the strands around his fingers and then moving upwards to massage your scalp. And for a minute, everything was finally okay again as you drifted off into a peaceful sleep, a full heart and with your love calmly lulling you away with a soft and now distant humming.

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pencilscratchins · 4 years

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Okay okay okay I'm obsessed with your Zukka headcanons, more please?

okay this one got long lmaOO

— zuko buys sokka many nice things. he says “my boyfriend enjoys nice things...fine silks...jewels...who am i to deny him this?”and suki says “please zuko these are the royal funds—“

— before they know the next avatar is korra, zuko hopes and prays the next avatar is a swamp bender, because he knows if they’re from the north water tribe it’ll be a whole thing and if they’re from the south he’ll literally never stop hearing about it

— in the beginning, zuko has no qualms about courting sokka. he’s the son of an ally country’s leader like yeah classic political marriage like what’s the issue (other than his own stifling awkwardness of course.)

— — sokka has the brain cell so he’s probably hesitant to jump into a relationship. they’re both public figures and gay marriage was just decriminalized— zukos already a contentious leader. not to mention, sokka has dated royalty before and the devotion to duty only lead to heartbreak.

— — — kataras the one who straightens him out. she is like “we gave our entire childhoods to these countries— don’t let some grandeur of responsibility keep you from the happiness i know you deserve”

— whenever they’re separated for long periods of time, sokka writes these gorgeous, long winded, purple prose letters about how much he loves and misses zuko, and his travels etc that are upwards of 20 pgs

— — zuko responds with “saw a frog today 👍” and sokka chokes up like “he has such a way with words”

— sokka sleeps on the right, zuko on the left

— just being around each other is enough to put them in way better moods. when one of them is gone, both are insufferable to be around.

— sokka goes on a life changing field trip with redemption arc!azula to find the stone for zuko’s engagement necklace and they bond & really connect in a weird way bc like... theyre sorta of the smartest people either of them know

— — meanwhile zuko, toph, and katara go on a life changing field trip for the metal for sokka a royal hairpiece and accidentally create probending

— sometimes it will get reeeeall quiet and sokka will just lean over and whisper to zuko “you know your great grandfathers were fucking right?”

— zuko obviously has days where he needs to just like escape and not to talk to anyone, so sokka will take the crown in his absence.

— — he spends those days doing all the shit zuko hates doing so he doesn’t have to

— sokka still struggles with feeling useless sometimes and thought it baffles zuko how he could possibly think that, he immediately will try to rectify it.

— — so zuko will show him the proof of a history textbook he had to approve, and show him every chapter dedicated to everything sokka invented, planned, or lead during the war and after to prove how important sokka is.

— sokka will be writing and when zuko sits really close to him on his right side, hell just switch the brush over to the left to hold his husband’s hand.

— when korra is first taken in by the white lotus, sokka insists they spend some time down there. zuko tutors her firebending and she loves him, but she’s obsessed with sokka who sneaks her out and teaches her sword fighting.

— not really a zukka head canon but when zuko first starts sleeping with the group at the air temple, he looks over and sees aang just levitating a few inches off the ground and is like “what the fuck” sokkas like “oh yeah that’s how he sleeps you get used to it”

— when katara finds out sokka helped toph have suyin, she’s like “it’s so touching that you want our families to be forever intertwined and for our children to always be connected!” and tophs like uh totally yeah

— — nobody tells her the interaction went “sokka be the father it’ll be funny” and sokka said let me ask my husband and zukos went “lmao do it it’ll be so funny”

— izumi ice dodges when she comes to age and crushes it, which makes hakoda and sokka both cry.

— — when iroh II wants to ice dodge, izumi refuses. she is however not supported by her fathers who are like “you did it! it’s a right of passage, izumi” “dont be a nerd, izumi”

— zuko, being a huge nerd, does indeed have iroh style his hair before their first date and sokka laughs so hard he cries

— sometime straight people will be like “oh the ladies must be sad you two are off the market!” and they will respond “our ex girlfriends are dating each other.”

— their wedding is extremely opulent, as pure sokkas request. zuko would’ve married him in a broom closet.

— zuko calls sokka “socks” and sokka calls him “zuks”

— sokka is very much that guy who wants to pretend he’s all cool but brings up his boyfriend all the time

— — “ugh it’s so hot i can’t breathe” “oh my boyfriend breathes,”

#hairasuntouchedaspartoftheamazon #zukka #headcanons #head canons #long post #read more #under the cut #you gusy encourage me too much lmao #i like how i always sneak a few gaang hc in there because i love those idiots smh #ask #not art #1k

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alreadyblondenow · 3 years

Text

Whenever the sun is hiding

“And I wish that she’s you. If we have met a little bit sooner I’d marry you. Why can’t it be you?”

Pairing: General!Kun x warrior!female reader, Mulan AU, enemies to lovers Genre: SMUT, FLUFF, angst? WC: 3,750k Warnings: this story is so asian because it is a Mulan AU, this is a time where women are allowed to be warriors, mentions of heavy training bc they’re warriors, cheating but... youll get it once you read it, unprotected sex, mentions of fingering, mentions of Kun fantasizing about the reader fucking him, fingering, a lot of kisses, slight exhibitionism, mentions of other idols A/N: NOT PROOFREAD. I’ll fix it once I have time. I just watched the new Mulan movie, (yes the one that was boycotted) and it was amazing. To the one who requested this... I’m sorry if you’re not asian, :( but I hope you still read and love this.

Under the scorching sun in the middle of summer, warriors are trained to be prepared of what lies ahead. The power of the enemy is quickly growing by every second and the young warriors of China, and it’s very young, new and ambitious general is not going to slack off until his nation is safe.

That is why he is very hard and strict with how he teaches the warriors assigned to him. So strict that every woman in his battalion went home after the first few days of training. Except you.

It is your incredible will and perseverance to bring honor to your family that’s making you stay and helping you go through each hard training everyday. And who would have thought that your perseverance and driven soul will make general Qian Kun hate you to the core.

But that’s not the only reason why he hates you.

One beautiful night after your night duty when you thought everyone was asleep, you took a bath on the river and enjoyed your time alone. Releasing your feminine side by smiling while watching the moon, catching flowers that fell on water and tuck one behind your ears. You were beautiful, the general thought.

So beautiful that he almost did not realized that he was peeking now and accidentally saw your breasts the moment you went out of water. He then quickly hid behind a big rock, careful not to make a sound and careful not to be caught. That night, he touched himself while thinking about you.

And that is why general Qian Kun hated you. Because despite being a successful general in his very young age, he’s still a man who can’t have a decent fuck when he sure knew he needed one. You make him sin even though he’s already engaged and every time he touch himself with you in his mind, he will always feel so guilty afterwards.

Who wouldn’t hate you for that?

“Wake up, wake up my general”

There’s that soft toned wake up call again with a faint image of a woman on top of him, blurry because of the sunlight behind her that hurts Kun’s eyes and made him squint, but he knew he was dreaming.

And then he woke up.

It’s that dream again. The dream of his future wife who had been matched to him a day before he left for his duty as general. What a pity. It doesn’t look that much, but Kun was so excited to meet her in person. But the girl has been visiting her in his dreams, and that’s why he knew that this marriage is a good idea. This marriage will be beautiful, she will be beautiful and he will have a quiet married life after this duty of his.

Kun got up from his comfort and asked his assistant if you had gone home already and coward away. “No general, Y/n was seen during the morning run,” the soldier answered.

“Bring her to me, I want to talk to her,” Kun ordered and then stretched is body before putting on his robe and sit on his chair, waiting for your presence.

“General, L/N Y/N is here,” the soldier announced and Kun commanded you to enter right away.

It was nice on the generals tent, cozy and not hot like the tent you use together with the others. His things were neatly placed, and he is staring right at you now.

“From now on you will go last with everything. Last in line, last to shower, last to rest after training. Except during meals, you’re first during meals but don’t eat with other men. Are we clear?”

“Yes sir!” Of course it was clear to you but you never know why? Did you do something wrong?

But the real reason is, after what happened the other night, the incident in the river, Kun can’t risk the other men to be distracted by you. Some men in the battalion are already matched and ready to marry when they get home, just like him. So he can’t tolerate sin now and raise cheaters during this training .

Or maybe he simply just wanted to protect you.

For you it’s alright if you’re always last, what’s more important is you’re not last when it comes to skills and fighting. You were always doing great in the field, and the general was always impressed by what you’re showing. He just can’t say it out loud because it will hurt his pride. But who cares if he agrees, you’re not giving up and that’s what’s important.

Knowing that you’re last to take a shower and to clean yourself in the river, Kun can’t contain himself even though he has been avoiding you for weeks now. Yes. Weeks. But all his great efforts are coming to waste because at the end of the day, he will end up thinking about you and well, fantasize about you fucking him instead of resting.

“Maybe you like her and deep inside it’s not just weird fantasies after all,” the second general, Lucas, said to Kun while he is busy washing his hair.

“Did you forget that I’m matched already and she’s waiting for me to return home?” Kun frustratingly answered back.

“No, I did not forget that. But you don’t know this fiancé of yours, and you have never seen her or touched her,”

“Sure I did. In my dreams”

“That doesn’t count you moron. Look, if fantasising is not enough for you maybe just ask her-“

“You’re the moron, you know I can’t do that. I can lose my rank as general,”

“Let me finish first” Lucas held up his big hand and waited his friend to shut up, “Ask her truthfully, be clear with your intentions. After all, she’s a girl too and maybe she needs what you have been wanting too,” Lucas explained and left for he is done taking a bath.

Turns out Lucas was right. Whenever you take a bath in the river alone, and made sure that no one is watching, you touch yourself quickly and relieve your stress in a corner. Imagining a man whose fingers are deep inside you and imagining that you two are in a hurry so others won’t catch you.

Then after a good orgasm, you just feel silly and desperate. Why do I do this to myself, you murmured.

“Next time do it behind that rock,”

A familiar voice startled you and instantly made you shy. Did he saw you touch yourself? How much did he saw or hear? Why is he here? Did he do this on purpose? Of all people, why the general?

“I’m sorry general. I should get going...” you said with shy eyes, covering your still wet body with your thin robe and avoiding the general’s gaze that melts you instantly.

“Can you join me?” he stopped you from walking away from him, holding you by the elbow. A gesture that you can read easily. The general is not joking and he meant every word he said.

By the time he left you to go in the middle of the river, you haven’t made up your mind but you aren’t leaving yet as if you wanted to accept his offer and see what goes after. What are expecting? A kiss? A good talk? A good fuck? Why does he want me to join him?

All these questions ran through your mind as you slowly untie your robe and let it fall on the ground, walking slowly towards to the handsome man waiting for you under the moon and stars in the middle if a cold river.

Whatever happens, happens.

“So this is your decision?” He asked you calmly, with a soft smile that you have never seen him wear. “We will never speak of this whenever the sun is up,”

You nodded slowly and he came close, grabbing you by the waist and lifting you underwater so you could lock your legs around him.

“Tell me, are you matched?” he asked, looking so handsome in his damped hair.

“I am,” you answered weakly but you already got lost in his eyes.

“All the more reason to hide what we have,” he said and started kissing your neck that felt so good. Suddenly the cold water became warm, or that’s just Kun sharing an unfamiliar heat to you.

Slowly, he walked towards the big rock he talked about earlier. Feeling the water gush to your body and his hand soothing your butt underwater while making small talk. Everything feels so wrong but so good at this moment that you can only let out soft moans and listen to his groans as he was busy kissing you and kept on touching your body. Kissing your breast and licking your nipples like you were some kind of cold treat on a summer day, and you did not miss how his tongue felt around your sensitive areas.

“General-“

“Kun. Call me Kun whenever were alone,” he whispers and started nibbling your earlobe. His hands started to roam on your inner thighs, holding you with one hand and readying himself to make his first move. “Don’t make a sound,” he said and kissed you on the lips. Deep and with tongue that you became speechless and all you can do is shut your eyes close and feel this two fingers go inside your cunt. In and out you feel him under water but it sadly it doesn’t do the job.

“I think it’s the water,” he stopped and groaned quietly, his frustration was obvious. Is he really desperate to fuck tonight? “Let’s go to my tent, what do you think?” he asks you.

“N-no. That’s too much. We can get caught, I think I’m fine for tonight-“

He cut you off with a smirk and chuckle, “No were not. Were not going to get caught and were certainly not yet done for the night, unless you really want to. I can’t force you,” and again, he gave you freedom to choose. But whenever he’s like this you can’t help but feel like you’re throwing yourself to him. You just stared at his eyes and traced his soft lips using your thumb.

“Lead the way,” you said. And you witnessed him smile from ear to ear.

Quiet and very careful, you and Kun walked towards his tent and made sure that no one will see you together. Good thing the coast is clear and if anyones is awake, they should be guarding the place like a hawk. The moment you’re both inside his cozy tent, he blew the candle so no one would see your silhouettes, and of course, you did not make any sound.

He walked you towards his bed and slowly undid your robe, swiftly removing it and making you lie comfortably on his bed. He removed his robe and went on top of you immediately, staying in between your legs while he spreads kisses on your body. But you swear, you wanted to see his cock to inspect whether it’s big or can it fit?

“Don’t worry, you will feel it in a moment. And it will answer all your questions,” he smirked in between kissing your left breast while kneading the other. “Do you like kisses?” He asks as he spreads some around your body all the way down to your cunt, teasing it with a few licks.

“Now I do,” you smiled and answered his question. Reaching for his head to rake away his hair and to see how his tongue works.

Incredible. As expected and you wish you could make a sound.

Kun went back up to you, searching for your eyes under the very minimal light, “You should be kissed often, and by someone who knows how” he whispered and placed a soft kiss on your lips.

“Is that an invitation for tomorrow night?” You joked and smiled through the feeling of him finally spreading your legs open and making you feel his cock slide up and down your wet slit, again, teasing you and preparing you for what’s yet to come.

“If you let me kiss you everyday then I’m considered the luckiest man on Earth”

Such sweet words you thought. But such sweet words are not easily said if you don’t like the person you’re with. In other words, you don’t know if he actually mean it or is he just trying to be sweet because he’s about to fuck you senseless now?

“Ugh- it wont go in,” he said frustrated but still quiet. He’s that big and you are that tight.

“Ahh- fuck I wasn’t ready” you almost screamed the moment he put two fingers in your hole to prep you more, making you wetter by every second.

“Fuck its huge,” you informed him when Kun finally manage to put a few inches inside. He just chuckled and lowered himself to kiss your neck, whispering, “its not yet even halfway in,” he said in a very sexy way that just took your breath away.

But before he fucks you properly, he made sure he’s looking directly to you not missing the way you will react when he finally move. And when he finally did you furrowed your brows and parted your lips shamelessly, letting out small sounds that’s for yourselves only. You look and sounded so beautiful and irresistible Kun thought and he knew right then and there that he will be addicted to you. Almost to the point of he can’t let you go.

“Please don’t get me pregnant,” you plead and hold on tightly to his shoulders and kiss him even more deeply.

“I wont” he said and spread your legs even more for a new angle. Finally giving you hard and piercing thrust that you don’t have any choice but to accept them.

The night continued as you two forget the world outside the tent. He did a lot of things to you. Completely maximizing his time before the sun appears. After the first wave of your sexual activity, to your surprise he flipped you on your stomach and made you arched your back beautifully. Spreading kisses on your back while he kneads your breast from behind, pinching your nipples and giving them a great squeeze from time to time... as he fucks you harder from behind that if anyone is listening outside they will already know what you two are doing in the dark.

And just as you thought that he’s done with you, for his final move tonight, his grand finale, he made you cum using his tongue with two fingers inside your cunt and his other hand busy kneading one of your breast.

“Your legs are shaking uncontrollably, are you fine?” He was teasing you. If you have the energy to punch him you would gladly do it but now you really can’t.

While you two were enjoying the quietness of the night, you snuggle beside Kun while he wraps his arms around you. Both staring blankly in the ceiling and both replaying what happened earlier in your minds.

“I don’t feel guilty, I hope you do too” he said out of nowhere.

“Surprisingly I don’t feel guilty either,” you tighten your embrace to him.

“Is that an acceptance for my invitation for tomorrow night?” He smiled. You didn’t answer him for it was far too obvious already.

By the time you and Kun parted ways before the sun comes up, you both instantly felt incomplete. Why? You managed to get back to your tent quietly and went to sleep immediately, Kun did the same thing but right now as you sleep like a baby, Kun was having a nightmare.

Not exactly a nightmare. But it was for Kun. His fiancé visited him again in his dreams, and even though he knew it was just a dream, he still felt ashamed that he cheated.

On the next day, as expected he was back on his usual cold and strict image like he wasn’t inside you last night. But as much as everything was bothering you and your mind was out of focus the whole day, you didn’t let your guard down still did what you had to do during your training.

“A fucking tiring day don’t you think?” Your friend Hendery whined and flopped to his side of the bed. “You were out late last night. Stargazing again?”

“Y-yes, I saw different stars last night,” you said with a smirk, confident that your friend won’t get it.

And as you did stargazed near the river that night and endured the cold, you waited for a pair of arms to finally keep you warm. And his lips, to kiss your tiredness away. But to your disappointment, he never came.

He didn’t came the next night. Or the night after that. And even the following nights. Until you got the news that he left the camp and went back to the city for serious business for a few days.

“You were just a past time Y/n. The general played you and how come you were such a fool believing that he actually like you” you frustratingly murmured to yourself while you thrown rocks at the river angrily.

“Tss. You should be kissed often, and by someone who knows how” you said mimicking his words before throwing another rock, “where’s my fucking kisses now!”

“I can give them to you know if you want it,”

Finally, the person you hated so much showed up. “Well, it’s too late- general, welcome back” you bowed and gave him respect even though you know he don’t deserve it.

“I’m sorry. Please don’t be like that,” he let go of his horse and reached out to you for a hug but you avoided his touch. “Let me explain and let me make it up to you,”

You shook your head ‘no’ without looking at him. And Kun knew that this was his last card, his last chance to make it right. “I like you and that’s the truth. I realized that now during our time away, and I understand why you feel like this. I’m sorry. Will you please forgive me,”

“You’re general Qian Kun, don’t beg for my forgiveness-“

“I’m not a general right now, I’m just a normal man asking for forgive to the girl I like,” he breathed in deeply and let it out heavily, “My guilt got the best in me for the past days but now... it’s clear that I can’t lose you. Not yet and not like this”

After that night, better days came in, forgiveness was given and everything felt a lot lighter. You and Kun stopped fucking just for the sake of feeding each other’s lust and actually taking time building your relationship. Secretly. But you told him that when it’s time to go home, you should part ways and bring honor to your families by marrying the people waiting for the both of you. He did not answer you.

Of course that didn’t stop Kun from falling in love, because even though you two are in the middle of a war zone and a very sticky situation, it was a beautiful time to be in love.

And when the war between the enemies was settled, Kun wasn’t so happy upon hearing the news because this means its time to go home and get married.

After you and Kun made love in his tent for a couple of times tonight, with tired and sweaty bodies you did not care and still cling to each other.

“Tell me about your match, is he handsome like me?” He asked you out of nowhere which is alarming because he never opened this kind of topic before.

“I haven’t seen him. I left before I could meet him. But I heard that he’s brave and he can do a lot of things and that he loves his mother very much.

How about yours?”

“I don’t know anything about her she visits me in my dreams but I never see her face clearly,”

“And?” you asked because it’s obvious that he’s holding something back.

“And I wish that she’s you. If we have met a little bit sooner I’d marry you. Why can’t it be you?”

“Why? because of sex?” You asked slightly offended.

“No, no don’t get me wrong I think about you even when the sun is shining brightly in the sky or whenever you have clothes on or your body is covered in armor and your face is full of dirt. I admire your natural strength and drive.”

“This is wrong. We agreed to go home with honor” you turned your back against him and thought about what he said.

“Tell me why is this wrong? We love each other-“

“Were engaged to different people... Kun, are you hearing yourself”

“You don't marry someone you can live with, you marry the person you cannot live without and Y/n, I can’t live without you” he explained sternly. Already mad but that didn’t stopped him from covering your exposed body with his blanket and leave a soft kiss on your shoulder.

“This right here, what we have now, it’s everything I wanted and more. In fact, I could die right now, Y/n. I'm just... happy. I've never felt this before. I'm just exactly where I want to be” he whispered but he sounded so frustrated still. “In the end I’ll respect your decision. But I’m not marrying someone I don’t know, someone that’s not you, I would rather die in war,”

If Kun was being honest, he thought you would chose him over someone you don’t know. He was beyond heartbroken when you told him you wanted to go home and thanked him for everything that he taught you in the field. Not even one mention of the special things you shared whenever the sun is hiding. And on top of that, you called him general before you say your goodbye.

And on your wedding day. You were wearing a traditional chinese wedding dress and wearing a beautiful smile because finally you will meet what your ancestors have matched you with.

But just like that cold night beside the river, you waited and waited and waited.... for nothing. For your groom did not show up.

For Kun did not attend his own wedding not knowing that you were the bride.

You were both completely clueless that you were meant to be.

#nsckickback #neosmutcollective #nct-writers #cznnet #neowritingsnet #kpopcape #nct smu #wayv smu #kun smut #wayv kun smut #kun x reader #qian kun #wayv kun x reader #wayv #wayv x reader #qian kun x reader #kun fluff #kun angst #qian kun smut

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jungxk · 3 years

Text

just one (viii)

summary: the only guy on campus who’s track record trumped that of your best friend’s - park jimin - was jeon jungkook. not that that was a problem…until he set his sights on you.

notes: first of all i wanna thank the people who supported me and encouraged me through one of the worst writers blocks of my life. all the messages and comments are the reason why i finally managed to post this. special thanks to @whippedforkook for helping me with the monstrous tagging process as well as giving me so much praise. and also @lonelyending for cheering me on for a literal YEAR bc thats how long i cried over this fic! this story is so special to me. we’re in the home stretch now x

warnings: mentions of illegal drug use and distribution, swearing, brief smut.

genre: drama, romance, humour, college!au

wordcount: 8k

tagging: @cutechim @benz-biarritz @gyukult @bangulin @eatersanonymous @alyssa1926 @skivv1es @a-sucker-for-them-sappy-shit @moonights @jeymuffins @juuneaux @catsukiii @andreaisaac @whatheydontunderstand @sreveles @noruls619 @henryharios @just-a-fuxked-up-kid @befriendswithj @btsbesharam @poemsandpunani @taelha @misosoup-forthesoul @jikooksmut @heart-eyedmf @the-piano-woman @angrysunshine @chaoticpaperfanhoagie @jsungshine @ci-yen @faby-montana @shinypeanutsportshero @jooniestrivia @alucards-s @cynamyngirl @jiminie-angel @myskoova @jkshoneybuns @smokintae @remmykinsff @majinbuwu @jangx2manboongx2 @potatodogs @seul-queen @alpharyth @blenxxxg @plsky @th-singularity @bapbaptothetop @hermiones-enchantment @stomachfilledwithbutterflies @euphorora @supachloe94 @jiminxjimout @ggukkieland @just-another-fic-recs-blog @jalexad

part i // part ii // part iii // part iv // part v // part vi // part vii // part viii // part ix // part x

4 years ago

jimin hated yugyeom.

well, maybe hate was a strong word. he just didn't like talking to him, being around him, hearing his name or interacting with him on any level, social or otherwise. he really tried though, since he was one of jungkook's closest friends and still respectfully referred to him as hyung above all else. and if anything, jimin would always have a soft spot for jungkook, the kid he used to coddle when his own brother wasn't around. but having said that, there wasn't really much basis for not liking yugyeom. it was just a gut feeling jimin couldn't explain, a very subtle callousness about him only jimin could pick up on. for the most part he was just like very other mild mannered boy by day and party animal by night, but jimin still ducks when he sees him enter the library.

"fuck," he hisses under his breath, scooping up his laptop to stride behind a book shelf for good measure. because sometimes, contrary to popular belief, jimin wanted to be alone. he didn't want to make small talk or listen to someone tell him about how well they scored on their last paper or complain about their annoying girlfriend. sometimes jimin wanted to have no thoughts and listen to fleetwood mac as per his human rights. which is why he shoves into the first private study room he sees.

and not an empty one at that. there's a girl inside, sitting cross-legged in her chair at a desk with an array of dried up paint tubes and brushes surrounding open sketchbooks. you don't look annoyed or even that phased, just amused as you give him a once over before going back to painting. "on the run from solji?"

jimin blinks, back still pressed against the door. "huh?" he regards you properly. "i'm sorry, have we met before?"

"not really," you admit with a sheepish smile, which is when jimin suddenly realises that you're...attractive. "solji is in my stats class. you hooked up with her last week at some party and she told me about it."

"oh," jimin takes in your plethora of art supplies. "you don't look like a stem student."

there's a glimmer of something in your eyes, and though you hide it well jimin knows he's struck a nerve. "yeah, i get that a lot."

"it's not solji by the way," jimin clarifies. for some reason. "that i'm hiding from. just a bellend i don't have the energy for right now."

you smile. "it's fine. you don't owe me your life story."

"i do when i'm about to impose on your...study time," jimin peers through the window in the door, wincing when yugyeom enters the hallway. "what would it take for you to let me stay in here for a while?"

you pause for a second. "honestly? just be quiet and leave me alone. is that okay?"

jimin perks up, a weight leaving his chest. "perfect, actually."

[jungkook 11:42pm]: why does it say wings on it

[jungkook 11:42pm] where is it flying

[you: 11:43pm] ffs kook

[you: 11:44pm] im still on the toilet can u just hurry up

[you 11:44pm] grab some tampons too pls

[jungkook 11:46pm] fine what size pussy do u wear

[you 11:46pm] i hate u

[jungkook 11:53pm] ???? ? ? well? ????

[you 11:54pm] REGULAR

jungkook giggles at his phone, already having left the women's sanitary aisle to grab some chocolate. months later and teasing you was still bundles of fun. he knew for a fact that you were sat there with that angry pout on your face, nose crinkled. he had never bought anything like this before, but jungkook had enough brain cells to know that chocolate was another necessity for that time of the month. after grabbing a large hazelnut bar, he pauses beside the oreos before grabbing a packet of those too. just for good measure. he strides to the self checkout - because even he wasn't man enough for the cashier yet - nearly dropping his array of sanitary products and confectionary when somebody calls out his name from behind the queue.

"kook!" the voice is unmistakably yugyeom's, confirmed by the hand that clamps jungkook over the shoulder and swivels him round before he could think about hiding his socially compromising shopping items. it takes a second for yugyeom to notice, doing a double take at the pads atop his small tower of goods. he holds back a laugh, balancing a bottle of gin in one hand while he waves back at some friends to continue. they were clearly making their pit stop before a night out, probably pre's if they still start as late as jungkook remembers. with his hair styled and expensive cologne lingering, jungkook almost forgets he probably looks unrecognisable in his sweats and cotton-fresh hoodie. friday nights weren't for cuddling. still, yugyeom's smile is welcoming and familiar. "got the munchies? and maybe also a uterus?"

"shut up," jungkook grumbles, averting his eyes. he shifts to his other foot uncomfortably. "my friend just needed a favour, that's all."

"uh huh," yugyeom gives him a teasing look. "is this friend the reason why i barely saw you at jin's the other week?"

jungkook blinks back at him. "wait, you were at that party? i had no idea!" a boyish smile breaks over his face. "why didn't you call me? i haven't seen you since-"

"minseok-hyung's new years eve party," yugyeom throws his head back with a laugh. "remember how we ended up on a boat after the ball dropped and-"

"spent all of new years day detained by the coast guard!" jungkook finishes with a mischievous cackle of his own, nearly dropping the tampons in the process. "fuck, that was so much fun! we need to meet up again, i haven't been out with the guys in so long."

"well no wonder," he quips a brow at jungkook's shopping again. "word got out you're a family man but i didn't believe it. until now, that is."

jungkook's smile falls. "what do you mean?"

yugyeom looks at him for a second, confused by jungkook's surprise. yugyeom was never quite as diplomatic as namjoon or yoongi, to put it lightly. and definitely nowhere near as accomodating as jimin. which is why his next words make jungkook's back stiffen. "bro, look at yourself. you got dairy milk in one hand and tampax in the other. on a friday night. the next time i see you i wouldn't be shocked if you had a baby buggy and a mortgage." still, yugyeom throws him an apologetic look. like a mouse caught in a trap. "face it, kook. you're old news."

"what? that's not true," his brows furrow unhappily. "i don't know what you're talking about. it's not like she's my..."

he can't say the word, but it hangs between them like a dead weight.

"yeah, right," the condescending look on yugyeom's face was starting to agitate him. "you totally blanked us at jin's after she showed up. not even just jin's..." he thinks twice about holding his tongue, but as always, decides against it. "i don't know you, jungkook. whoever this new jungkook is. it's been months. you used to hit us up and be independent and spontaneous and wild and now you're just...someone's boyfriend.

"stop fucking saying that," jungkook snaps, all visible signs of friendliness gone.

"why?" a beat. "do you even use a wrap with her anymore?"

jungkook splutters, heat rushing to his ears and hands in a stinging combination of anger and embarrassment. "how is that any of your business? the fuck are you asking me something like that, as if you-"

"thought so," yugyeom looks away from him with a sigh. if anything, yugyeom knew never to overstay his welcome but that clearly backfired tonight. "whatever, jungkook," he looks over his shoulder at him. "guess you're the last one to find out you're officially married."

"you're ridiculous," jungkook scoffs. "all this over condoms? grow up, yugyeom."

"only couples do it raw," yugyeom turns away from him, alcohol in tow as he waves a hand over his shoulder to join his friends like jungkook was nothing but a lost cause. "you would remember that if you still had game."

jungkook stands there, dumbfounded while the group of boys exit the store noisily but he can't hear a thing. the siren that had been itching the back of his mind all this time was suddenly there at full force, right between his eyes. the glaring truth that yugyeom might be right makes his knees buckle. all those rules jungkook once had, all those measures he kept in place to protect his liberty, to prevent this very occurence - where were they? what happened to them? as the sweet and accommodating counterpart to jimin, why had you never complied? though, the blame wasn't on your hands alone. he got complacent, comfortable. lenient. and now without even realising he was here, a scene from a romcom in the middle of the night, with nothing to say for himself but fuck. the realisations wouldn't stop racing, one after another on the conveyer belt of his anxiety.

the photos on his phone; mostly you. time spent, usually with you. the portfolio for his latest photography module also had some resemblance to your interests. charcoal pencils, night drives, orchids. like the ones you always drew on any scrap of paper lying around. now that he thinks about it, he's seen nothing but your orchids for months. and not just that - you wore his clothes sometimes too. his bathroom had your toothbrush, contraceptive pills and coconut shampoo. his closest friends, his hyungs...not one of them was devoid of affection for you. he wasn't even confident that if the choice was presented, they would still pick him over you.

by the time jungkook finishes paying and practically sprints to his truck in a daze, he can hardly keep himself from shaking. he palms the wheel compulsively, he could feel the sweat in his sideburns, hoodie suddenly suffocating him. it smelled of you.

and then, like a final curtain call: was he just your latest fixer-upper project? some good girl wet dream to play out in the wake of your emotionally traumatic past? a slap in the face to seokjin, maybe, and nothing more? when you were done, when he was out of your system, when you knew his taste by heart and had nothing new left to try - would you stay? did you even know how to?

did he?

jungkook starts the engine. he drives to your door, drops your bag of snacks and pads on the porch, and texts you before leaving. he does not go inside.

"you sure you'll be okay with just the boys?"

you scoff at seulgi when she pins you with a worrying look, taking some of her clothes out of her bag to re-fold them just so you had something to do with your hands. jisoo had already left for the long weekend with her family, so there was no one there to fill up the empty space between your awakward reply. you didn't know how to tell the girls that jungkook hadn't contacted you in nearly a month. and even though he was a notable flight risk from the beginning, you couldn't help but feel like there was hostility there. every now and again he'd at least send a nude or have a quick phone call when he was drunk or high at three in the morning, but you hadn't heard a peep from him. you couldn't stand the idea of someone you cared about harbouring comtempt for you, but the fear of reaching out and somehow making the situation worse outweighed it tenfold.

you look up to see seulgi still staring at you with concern. "of course i'll be fine! they're boys, not piranhas."

"at least piranhas contribute our ecosystem. boys just cause problems for the hell of it," seulgi lays a hand on the crown of your head like a berating big sister, swivelling you to look at her in your fit of giggles. the urge to nestle you under blankets like a baby bird made her chest heave, and you could tell. "i'm serious. if jimin tries anything, call me immediately okay?"

"jimin?" you snort. "out of a room full of delinquents, my ex, and taehyung, you're worried about jimin of all people?"

seulgi wrinkles her nose. "god, when you say it like that its like i'm throwing you to the dogs." she pauses. "something's up with jimin. i don't know what it is, but he's...off."

you tilt your head innocently, remembering the brief interaction you had with hobi at seokjin's party. you had been so caught up in jungkook - or lack thereof - you hadn't thought to press him about it afterwards. in truth, jimin remained as...jimin as ever. if he was acting differently you certainly couldn't tell. "you think so?"

"mmm," she leans on the lip of the open suitcase thoughtfully. "but maybe with jungkook there, he'll behave himself."

you gulp, fiddling with his watch on your wrist anxiously. "maybe."

you nearly yelp when you feel a big hand swivel around your waist, bucking into the kitchen counter reflexively. jungkook always did this before rubbing his boner against your ass, but the light scent of citrus and short squeeze lets you know immediately that its taehyung. hoseok, jimin, namjoon and yoongi were still in the living room playing video games, giving taehyung the perfect opening to intercept you. namjoon and yoongi had insisted that you come over to their place after finding out you'd be alone for the weekend, and you had completely refused before taehyung's coaxing. and of course, jimin's persuasive nudging. even though you felt safe and relaxed here, it felt wrong to be in jungkook's friends' place without him. almost like a breaching of an unspoken boundary.

and clearly, taehyung picked up on your discomfort by the way he stared at you so softly. his back was to the sink, his sillhouette particularly long and lean this evening. "you need to lighten up, princess. you keep looking over your shoulder so much it's making me nervous!"

your visibly droop with a sigh. "i'm sorry tae. i've had a lot on my mind lately, and..."

he claps his hands on your shoulders, teeth peeking through his grin. "you're not doing anything illegal by being here without jungkook."

you wince at his name. "have you always been able to read my mind like this?"

"absolutely," taehyung's brown eyes look so rich up close. "you're allowed to have friends that are also his friends, because - and try to stick with me on this - relationships between people are allowed to be independant from the primary circles they met in. mind boggling concept, i know."

you wack him on the chest until he laughs. "stop making fun of my anxious thought processes! its called mental illness, sherlock! i can't help it!"

his nose scrunches cutely, enjoying your first fiery outburst of the day. "whatever. i call it not getting laid for a month and losing critical thinking abilities from it."

you gape at him indignantly while taehyung roars with laughter. "you're such a dickhead," you hiss through gritted teeth, yanking his hair and jabbing your fingers in his sides the way you would with jimin during a tickle fight. "whores have feelings too, taehyung! whores have feelings too!"

you both fall about with laughter, knocking over half the snacks on the counter in the process which only makes the pair of you laugh even more. it's such childish chaos trying to clean up the mess on the tiny kitchen floor that neither of you notice the front door open, or the gust of metaphorical and literal wind that follows. watching taehyung trying to salvage a bag of broken crisps is just so funny that the presence of an another voice in the living room goes unregistered, as do the footsteps leading up the hallway to the kitchen, so you have no time to brace yourself or properly pull yourself together with you see-

"...jungkook."

yours and taehyung's heads snap to the doorway. jungkook stands there with almost complete lack of emotion on his face to the pair of you kneeling in crumbs and napkins. there's a brief pause where the tension in your eye contact alone was so strong that it felt wrong to breathe. but it is shortlived. jungkook tiptoes over you like spilled milk, reaching for a glass of water. you and taehyung lock eyes while the tap runs in the awkward silence. "hey. you okay?"

"um," you're not sure whether to stand up, hug him, look at him, or even face him. "yeah! yeah, i'm fine."

he nods politely. "hyung?"

even taehyung looks visibly uncomfortable. "i'm good."

"cool. see you later," he says, downing the glass impressively fast before leaving the room just as fast as he entered it.

you and taehyung stare at each other again, not understanding why you both feel like kids caught eating cake before dinner. you could feel the sweat pricking at your back from the realisation. jungkook had no idea you'd be here, and given that interaction he'd probably want to leave now. there was always the inkling woven between his radio silence that he was done with you, but you never let yourself take it seriously out of logic. because how could months of passion and tenderness and honesty be undone so irrevocably like that? it didn't make sense. you hadn't changed. you were the same girl he hit on relentlessly and chased against all odds. so what was different now?

"____," taehyung calls your name gently, and it's only then you realise you're already up and trailing after jungkook into the living room. when you walk in he's already putting his shoes on to leave again, barely making eye contact with you while he chats absently to his hyungs so he can look busy. the four boys on the large sofa can only reply wearily, eyes darting between the pair of you like a firework was about to blow to soon. and it was.

you could feel it in your throat, under your breast bone, bubbling up your stomach. "wait, jungkook. um...h-how have you been? i haven't heard from you in-"

"i've been good," he keeps tying and re-tying his laces without looking up. "super busy. you know how it is."

his curtness makes you flinch. this same time last month jungkook used to kiss you senseless before he had both feet in the door. he'd ring the doorbell incessantly like a child and greet you with the biggest, toothiest grin you had ever seen. he'd make fun of your bed head and squeeze your cheeks until you'd snap at him. and now when he looked at you he hated every second of it. your mother had the same look. your eyes start to burn involuntarily. "yeah, i do. how is uni? your final project is due soon, right? what theme did you pick in the end?"

"the one i told you about," he stands up abruptly. "sorry, noona. something came up. i'll see you arou-"

"something came up?" you step closer to him. "something came up the second you saw my face? or did you really just trek all the way to your hyungs' place for a glass of water, jungkook?"

jungkook stiffens, but is determined not to lose face. and it's difficult to do under your big, accusatory eyes and jimin's death stare at his back. the whole room was waiting for his response, so he just shoves his hands in his pockets resolutely. "i needed to see yoongi hyung, but i can come another time."

you fold your arms. "well it's clearly important, and you're here now. so don't let me stop you."

"but you will stop me," jungkook snaps. "that's the problem."

"kook-ah," yoongi warns quietly, but he took one look at your face and knew the damage was done. jimin was already standing up, circling around the back of the sofa towards you. the red lights were all there; your watery eyes, your trembling hands. every breath you took looked difficult for you to complete and only jimin noticed.

"what are you talking about?" you squint. it takes you a second to understand; yoongi's guilty expression, jungkook's indifference. "oh, you're fucking kidding me." your resolve breaks for a second turning away only to glare back at jungkook with so much fire you can hardly stand it. "you're selling again? are you insane, jungkook?"

"see," jungkook's eyes are stony. "i knew you'd get this way."

"what other way am i supposed to get?" his lack of response only infuriates you more. it felt disrespectful. "jungkook, you're not a kid anymore. if you get caught with drugs the consequences are serious! forget the potential jail time, you could get kicked out of university, it would go on your record forever and-"

"stop talking to me like i'm a kid!"

"then stop acting like one!" you hate raising your voice, but it keeps climbing without your approval. "did you think about this for even five minutes? this isn't like just going to juvie like before and being done with it jungkook. your hyungs can't bail you out of everything."

"this is a lot of talk for someone who lapped up those fancy paints without a second thought," jungkook says darkly. his eyes aren't like you remember, his face solemn and near unrecognisable. "or did you think that getting that kind of money overnight is only something that's possible through daddy's credit card?"

dread blooms like a garden inside you. "that's...that's how you bought the paint set?"

"welcome to the real world," he quips. "as if selling overpriced weed to a bunch of pick-me-freshmans is considered a crime against humanity to anyone but you."

"you think that's why i'm yelling at you right now?" your voice was growing hoarse, desperate. "you think that's the problem i have with you being literal drug dealer, jungkook?"

he hates it. the sweltering silence, the judgmental eyes digging into his back, the slow realisation that the tears in your eyes were not at him but for him. jungkook's ears ring enough to make him sway on the spot if his feet weren't planted so firmly on the dingy carpet, this metaphorical ground. he couldn't shake the feeling that his lifestyle was only an issue now because of you, how he never felt a shred of guilt about any of this shit until he met you. and if there was anything that jungkook never responded well to, it was pity. and he could feel it from every person in the room, all people that that once cherished and coddled him until you came along. he swallows, throat dry from the way he couldn't look at you knowing what he was going to say next.

"you're embarrassing yourself, noona. you're not my girlfriend and you never were, so stop acting like it."

cotton. it's very faint, under the layers of conflicting cologne and beer and smoke, but jungkook still smelled of cotton while he spat acid. nobody could speak, even though jungkook never raised his voice let alone a hand to you, it still hit like a slap in the face. it sunk into the walls, your clothes, suddenly every hair on your body felt heavy with it. dirty. the shame came first, the humiliation next. and then the sorrow, the dread, and finally the defeat. you knew the stages well by now, and they were cycling through you like clockwork. how foolish you were, to make the same mistake again. nobody dared to move, everyone but jungkook staring at you in denial and horror. they couldn't believe their eyes when you nod steadily, bowing your head to the floor.

jimin is already slotting himself between you, his jaw tight. "that's enough, kook. just leave already."

"no," you stop him, unnervingly resigned. that single word cuts through all six men with ease. "he's right." you step around jimin, closing the space between you and jungkook. for a brief moment he wonders if you'll actually hit him, but somehow watching you unclasp his watch from your wrist and drop it on the coffee table in front of him is far worse. the sound seems to ring like church bells, definitive and umistakable. "you're right, i'm not your girlfriend. you win jungkook."

they all watch you leave in dismay, listen to the door closing softly behind you. within a second jimin sprints after you, calling your name, leaving everyone else dumbfounded. jungkook's stare could bore a hole into the abandoned watch on the table, still ticking away like nothing changed. like his eyes weren't burning, lightheaded at the realisation that he would never wear a watch again let alone the one he put on you.

to an outsider, you looked like you were coping well considering you just got dumped in front of all your friends. but jimin knew that face. your stony eyes, lips pulled thin as if to seal inside the collapse of a monument. you took the tea he offered, and then his arms, your face finding his chest with ease. muscle memory. his torso was a tad shorter than jungkook's, his heart closer to your mouth as if the steady thumps were asking for a kiss of acknowledgement. every time you close your eyes you could see jungkooks face, hard and unforgiving and nothing like the man you trusted all this time. but it wasn't a new expression; you parents looked at you similarly the last time you saw them. it was the look of someone who had no regrets cutting all ties. and now, jungkook was behind them in a lost list of people who chose to be strangers over loving you.

jimin sighs when you cry into his chest, brushing the back of your head gently. he had been ready for this for months, but he still hated to see you this way. again. it made his bones itch, his skin crawl uncomfortably every time you weeped. the only time he considered violence was when you were crying. but he knew what to do, laying down across the sofa so you could curl up into a ball next him, head on his bicep and face smushed into the crook of his shoulder. you used to cry like this for hours and hours, his arm familiar with the prickle of pins and needles. but it was the only place you felt safe. tucked into jimin's side is where you would always belong, and that truth was more glaringly obvious than ever now.

"lets get something to eat," he offers eventually, hand craddling the crown of your head like a child. jimin's other hand on your hip is warm and heavy when he pats you soothingly. in your episodes, you responded well to touch. "what about thai food?"

"not hungry," you grumble against him.

"we could make something together?" he peers down at your lack of response. "come on, babe. you gotta eat something. you didn't even have breakfast-"

"why am i so stupid?" you whisper, a fresh bout of tears welling up.

jimin rubs your thigh. "it's not your fault."

"yes it is. jungkook gave me plenty of red flags, and i ignored all of them-"

"oh, i meant you being stupid."

you scoff. "cheers."

"what?" jimin cocks a brow when you lift your head to look up at him. he wets his lips and you follow the swipe of his tongue thoughtlessly, distracted enough by his touch and proximity that you take a second to digest his words. "it's not like any of this exactly came as a surprise. you ignored me, remember? wanted to flex your big girl pants."

you pull away from him and sit up, forcibly shutting out the daze that jimin routinely puts you under. "what's wrong with you? can't you be polite and wait for a couple hours before laying into me like a normal person? jesus, jimin."

"so let me get this straight," jimin sits up, watching your back as you sit away from him. "you're mad because i'm not telling you what you want to hear?"

"no," you say, head shaking. "i'm not mad. i'm upset because i came here to be comforted by my friend and you're just making me feel worse."

"what do you want me to say, ____? that i had high hopes from the start?" jimin pushes his hair back, brows now at a sharp incline from frustration. "i told you starting something with jungkook was trouble but you didn't listen. why should i feed your victim complex when all i've done is try to help you?"

"victim complex?" you repeat, standing up slowly. the sudden steadiness of your voice causes jimin to panic.

"not like that. don't take it like that, it's just," he's suddenly before you, his warm hands palming up your arms warmly. "i didn't wanna see you get like this and it happened anyway, is all i'm saying." he sighs when your scowl doesn't let up. "if hobi hyung hadn't have given up so easy, then maybe…maybe this would never have happened. maybe if i had been harsher with him then you would have-"

"what are you talking about?" you ask quietly, searching jimin's face. "give up so easy? what's that supposed to mean?"

he looks away, hands slipping off you. "it's nothing."

"jimin."

he struggles to look at you, tongue in cheek. his lips purse for a moment, pink like roses. he's wearing that navy jumper you like. "look, it's not a big deal. he wasn't supposed to fuck you or anything, just take you out for a while. get your mind off kookie, show you a nice time."

your blood runs cold. "what?"

jimin's expression softens. "it's not as bad as it sounds-"

"really?" your voice is sharp, sharper than he's ever heard it. you recoil as if you had been struck for the second time today. "because it sounds like you asked some guy to keep me occupied like i'm a fucking dog. all because you can't stand the idea of me being within a meter of jungkook-"

he steps in, but you step back. "you know that's not true, _."

"don't i?" you scoff, covering your face in disbelief. "jimin, you've been hellbent against me even looking at the guy since day fucking one."

"because i didn't want you to get hurt!" jimin counters, eyes downcast. "i know, okay? i know how much of a dick it makes me sound, but its not like it hurt you when you had no idea! hoseok broke it off before you even knew about it so why-"

"because it's worse," you turn away from him. "you tried to control me. choose what's best for me because you think you know better than i do. sound familiar?"

his jaw sets, and it's like you can hear the twine snap in his head, the percussion of his heartbeat above yours even though he doesn't close the space between you. jimin stares at you for a long minute before drawing in a thin breath. "fine," he steps in, and you can't look away. "you want me to say it? fine. i'll say it."

suddenly the air is lace thin around you as you stare at him, waiting. jimin looks off somewhere else, somewhere you can't reach. "don't tell me you haven't thought about it, because i know you have. if i have you must have too. and lately its all i can think about - being with you, holding you, being the one who gets to touch you. and yeah, maybe it took having to see you with jungkook for me to realise how much i want all that, i put my hands up. but you have no idea what's it like to watch the person you love most get toyed around with by a time bomb like that. i've seen jungkook go through girls like underwear and i love him, god i love him, but even the idea of you being one of those wasted girls sitting outside a party crying over his sorry ass makes my fucking ears ring."

"j-jimin…" you whisper, but you have nothing to say. your hands shake.

"you deserve more than that, ____. you deserve more than waiting around for booty calls or living up to what the next guy wants. from jungkook, hoseok, anyone. you deserve someone's devotion and yeah, maybe all this time i've been too much of a pussy to give it. maybe all this time i was tiptoeing around my feelings for you because i knew if i admitted to myself that i loved you - if i admitted i was just like every other guy - i'd actually set the bar for something other than disappointment. id actually have to step up, and i didn't know if i could do it. i still don't. but if it has to be someone…it should be me."

suddenly he's holding your hands, calming the tremble that rattles them. his words bunch up together in your ears, the meaning lost amidst your awe. "jimin….jimin what are you saying? where is all this coming from, i don't...i don't understand wh-"

"i'm saying," he cups your face. "choose me." he pulls you in. so, so close. "choose me, not jungkook. not anyone else. me."

and there's a part of you that has already caved. that's already kissing him, melting into his arms like you've wanted to for so, so long. you're falling back onto the couch with him in a fit of giggles, curling back into his chest to hide your watery eyes, asking him why the fuck he took so long. you chat together between teasing kisses, pour your hearts out, maybe cry a little. later you would make tea and order pad thai and watch the office all night and fall asleep together in the living room well past dawn and then-

you close your eyes. "i can't."

"you can," jimin says, so passionately you shudder. his brown eyes are teaming with too much determination and ardour for his own good, and you both know it. its difficult to grapple with how huge a risk he's taking, because jimin never takes risks. it made the whole situation seem dire. "you know you can, ____. it's us. there's no one like us."

you don't know how you're not crying yet. you only have jimin to hold onto, hands balled in his shirt without knowing if you're about to push him away or pull him in forever. "maybe back then. maybe if you'd have said all this before," you feel empty, the beat of your pulse suddenly strong in your fingertips. "but it doesn't matter anymore."

he shakes his head in denial, his determination palpable. "of course it does-"

"i'm in love with him," you say. to jimin. to yourself. to the world, finally. "i'm in love with jungkook." holding jimin's stare isn't as difficult as you thought it'd be. "you know if you'd have done all this a few months ago…if you'd have just...i was always yours without question, jimin. and you knew it." it's his turn to bristle under the strain of your voice. "jungkook isn't perfect. i'll be the first one to admit that. he's made me cry, he fucks up, he makes mistakes. but he's never lied to me. he never made decisions for me. he never passed judgement on what i should or shouldn't do with my life. something that i never thought i wouldn't able to say about you, too."

there's a brief moment where everything stops. neither of you can believe what you just said. jimin watches you, frozen in his place as you take your bag, eyes glittering with tears when he calls for you. suddenly he's the time bomb he feared becoming, the panic in his eyes lighting them up like fire crackers. for the first time in his life, he stumbles over his words, and then his feet when you reach for the door, all composure lost. he was unravelling like a tapestry in front of you, never to be repaired, and he could feel it. "____. ____, please," jimin chokes, his cheeks blotchy. "i wanted to protect you, i was just trying to help. don't go. please don't go. i was trying to help you."

"no. you were trying to have me." you say, closing the door behind you.

you have no idea what time it is when you hear the bell ring incessantly.

it had been hours since you'd returned home from jimin's, but there was no way for you to keep track when your only priority was just keeping yourself afloat. you turned your phone off, drew the curtains, and resolved to alternate between sitting in seulgi and jisoo's rooms until they came back. you didn't know what else to do. when you weren't crying you were hyperventilating, and when that stopped the absence of emotion was so powerful you could barely keep your eyes open. you were exhausted but could not sleep. starving but could not eat. it was a miracle you even made it down the stairs, using what little strength you had to yank it open without even thinking about who could be on the other side in the middle of the fucking night. but at this point, you would gladly take a serial killer over jimin or jungkook.

"taehyung," you breathe when you take in his face, relieved. you must look like absolute shit because he scans your face and winces.

"jimin told me," he says, the apology in his voice and expression was almost painful to register. "he told me everything. ____, i'm so sorry. i should have told you about the hoseok thing, i just thought it would be worse coming from me, and then i tried to force jimin into confessing but then he didn't because he's jimin, and now-"

"you're only allowed to come inside if you stop apologising," you say weakly, voice haggered from the hours of crying.

taehyung's pouty expression almost makes you smile with how cute he looks, gingerly stepping over the threshhold. "i really am sorry though."

"for what," you say monotonously, closing the door behind him while he takes off his shoes. "my inexplicably terrible taste in men? my uncanny ability to get manipulated by literally anyone who shows me a scrap of affection? or my absolutey shredded-to-shit attachment style thats barely intact let alone functioning healthily? after hoppping between the first two for a few hours i'd personally go for the latter. but whatever."

"please shut up," taehyung sighs, bringing you into his arms before you could have a second thought about it. "you need to amp up the misandry in this context. a lot of this had nothing to do with you and everything to do jimin and jungkook."

you're too tired to open your eyes, snuggling into the softness of taehyung's chest. you’re too exhausted to argue. "where did you learn the word misandry? have you been reading?"

"yeah," you can hear his big, pleased grin. "i know you and the girls have been calling me a himbo behind my back."

"affectionately," you add, peering up at him. he wipes the wetness off your cheeks, moving upstairs to your room with your hand in his. he fetches you a glass of water before putting you into bed like he's paid to do it. taehyung was the cuddliest person you had ever met, but you had rarely seen him dote on anyone. "girls love himbos. it's a compliment."

"not all girls," he mutters when he returns from the bathroom with a glass of water. "drink this, would you? you look so dry it's making me itchy."

you do as he says with a roll of your eyes. "what do you mean?" you finish your water with a big gulp. "jisoo loves dumb guys, what are you talking about?"

taehyung looks away from you, bottom lip rolling up under his teeth so fast you barely catch it. he pulls up your desk chair next to your bed, thinking long and hard before meeting your eyes again. "i don't mean jisoo."

you don't understand at first, but after staring at his face for a long minute your stomach drops. "don't. don't you fucking dare," another beat of silence. you rip the covers off you to scamble to your knees, grab your pillow and hurl it at taehyung's head. "taehyung, please don't tell me that the one remaining, healthy relationship i have with a man has also been shot to shit because i swear to god i'm gonna-"

"it's not a big deal," he says firmly, and he really does mean it. taehyung catches your wrists when you lunge at him, effectively ending your outburst before it can begin. he keeps hold of them while he stares into your eyes, watching the way they fill up with a fresh bout of tears. "i've had a crush on you for a while, so what? it's not anyone's business but mine so don't worry about it."

you try not to scream at him. "how long?"

"...since the start." he shrugs. "it's not like i could have done anything anyway. with jimin around. he’d never have it."

"but...! but..." you splutter, the highlight reel of your friendship suddenly marred before your eyes. "but you let me talk to you about boys! you gave me advice with hobi and jimin and jungkook and...! you encouraged jimin to confess to me. and the whole thing with jisoo?"

he wets his lips guiltily. "jisoo is a nice girl. i like her, but...not like you. i've always liked you."

you shake your head in horror, your face crumpling. bile rose in your throat. "so all of that...playing with my friend like that. was just to get to me?"

"listen to me," taehyung says firmly, gripping your wrists to make you look at him again. he's so close you can feel the warmth of his breath on yours, and you never realised how large taehyung's torso was compared to yours before. he could have smothered you, but he didn't. in all senses. "the way jimin and jungkook handled their feelings is on them, just like how this is on me. it doesn't matter if i'm fucking you or not, you're my friend and i'll always want people to do right by you. and that includes me."

there was nothing else to say, so taehyung wordlessly wipes your face again and fetches you more water before retreating to sleep on the couch downstairs. all the while you sat there in your bed, confused and bewildered and thoughtful. the same bed jungkook fucked you on. the same bed jimin held you in. out of all the men in your life, taehyung was the only one who treated his feelings for you with reverence. there wasn't one interaction you could think of where he made his feelings clear, where he even hinted towards wanting something more. if he hadn't have said anything tonight, in the wake of one of the most emotionally tumultuous days of your life, you would still be in the dark about it all. and that was the scariest part. you didn't know anyone else who hadn't let their feelings for you effect how they treated you. so ultimately, it was possible.

and jimin and jungkook chose not to do that. but taehyung did.

taehyung did.

when you finally pad downstairs after hours of ruminating, jisoo's bedroom door is wide open. and that's who you should be thinking about now - your friend and sister jisoo - as the sky begins to lighten with the signs of morning. you hadn't slept for over twenty four hours, you were hungry and thirsty, delirious from the whirlwind of losing the two most important men in your life in one day. but still, you are drawn to taehyung. taehyung, who never asked anything of you. taehyung, who was as silent as he was selfless this whole time. taehyung who routinely put what he wanted aside in favour of what was best for you. taehyung, who protected you without needing credit or recognition for it. taehyung, taehyung, taehyung, taehyung, taehyung-

"taehyung," you whisper scraping your nails through his hair. his eyes fluttered open, twisting his head to face you as you hovered above him. he could barely see you in the darkness. "taehyung, wake up."

"what is it?" he croaks, sitting up with half-lidded eyes and a yawn. he doesn't know how to read the expression on your face. he swings his legs off the sofa in a sitting position, wearing nothing but his boxers and tee, visibly alarmed. "what happened? are you okay?"

you take his face in your hands and kiss him.

taehyung stiffens against you, breath drawn thin. you pull away to gauge his expression, desperately searching his eyes in the darkness. for discomfort, disapproval, anything negative at all. the absolute ardour you find instead could knock you down if taehyung didn't reach for your neck, kissing you again. you whine at the feel of his tongue, having no idea where such sudden and intense arousal was coming from. when you pull away with shaky limbs, you climb onto his thick thighs so he can feel your wetness through his boxers. taehyung grunts at the sensation, and again when you kiss him passionately and without abandon. the sweet girl every guy he knew was agonising over, suddenly in his lap. he's barely had his tongue down your throat for ten minutes and you're already rocking into him, his erection betraying his resolve.

it's better than he dreamed.

"taehyung," you gasp, palming him now. he groans when he pulls away to look at your mouth, glistening with his saliva when you take his hand and guide it down to your arousal. "please."

#jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook au #bts x reader #bts au #jungkook scenario #bts scenario #jimin x reader #jimin x you #jimin au #bts fic #jungkook fic #jimin fic #jungkook college au #jimin college au #bts college au #myfic

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