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kieran-granola · 4 months

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You know how there's a subset of martial arts Tiktok where people post short vids of them doing a quick routine/choreography?

People in Gotham post blurry clips of the Bats, and a few martial artists challenge each other to reproduce the moves. One vid goes viral and more people start to give it a try, including non martial artists, who just meme with the choreography/try to imitate some moves just in good fun (and whoa some dancers and gymnasts do surprisingly well)

It naturally gets back to the Wayne brood, except, of course, the real challenge for them is to fail in a believable way.

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Tim, on camera: "I was nearly good enough for the Olympics, surely I can do that...? Let's find out."

[cue footage of him falling down, cartoon-style, right as Damian was walking by and getting both of them drenched in Dami's smoothie]

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Jason sees the compilation someone made of Bruce's ridiculous attempts at reproducing the moves (Tim and Steph roped him into their shenanigans.)

Two days later, a video of Red Hood goes viral: it's him condescendingly explaining how to throw a punch and challenging Bruce Wayne to do it properly because "no Gothamite should be so shit at fighting"

Bruce is verklempt when he watches it, because some of it is word-for-word how he taught baby!Jay

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Tim gives Damian blurry, grainy footage of Black Bat to imitate. After that, Dami spends days hounding Cass for training because he nearly broke his nose tripping over his own feet.

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Dick flawlessly lands a flip in front of all the others with "ASSERTING DOMINANCE" written on screen before winking at the camera.

Right before the video cuts, Tim's voice can be heard saying, "Whatever, your ass is still flat compared to Nightw—"

#batfam #kieran writes #jason todd #tim drake #bruce wayne #dick grayson #damian wayne

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neptunezo · 1 month

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The batkids are known for sharing clothes amongst each other, so imagine everyone’s surprise when Jason won’t let them borrow his hoodie. Upon further inspection they find out it’s Roy’s hoodie. This causes a chain reaction and now Dick won’t let anyone borrow his Wally hoodie, Tim won’t let anyone borrow his Kon hoodie, Damian with Jon’s clothes(which there was no need for because Damian’s clothes never fit anyways), Duke with Izzy’s, Cass with Steph, and so on. After this “civil war” they all reluctantly agree to end this and all clothes (their own or not) is up for grabs. (minus Damian and Jon, of course)

bonus is when their partners steal the batkids clothes only to find out later that it’s definitely not a wayne kids clothing item.

Roy: That’s my sweater?

Wally: Yeah well Kon’s wearing my pants so…

Izzy: I’m probably wearing one of your boxers, it’s for sure not Dukes

Kon: how do you know?

Izzy: Because Duke doesn’t own Minecraft boxers???

Steph: Oh yeah sorry, those are mine

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yesiknowimshort · 1 year

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to keep up appearances, bruce asked the batkids to find reasons to excuse their various bumps and bruises:

dick was easy. gymnastics and acrobatics run deep within his veins and it’s always his “party trick”, so they just let the public come up with an answer themselves.

jason, mysterious as he is, never addressed his bumps and bruises. the public have settled on underground cage fighting.

tim’s was skateboarding and being “himself”. tim knows how he appears to the public, and as much as it pains his ego for people to see him in such a way, clumsiness fit his charming, dorky, public persona.

damian needs no excuse as he is a ‘rambunctious little ankle biter’, so bruce just lets damian straight up tell people shit like “i was engaged in battle with a duel wielding madman” and then says “kids and their wild imaginations, amiright?”.

steph insisted on fencing even though bruce argued that she would not realistically get many black eyes from fencing. she just tells people she’s very bad at it.

cass’ are from ballet duets.

duke just says “there was a spider” with no further context.

harper’s go to line is “you should see the other guy”.

and bruce is basically barbie so he comes up with a new sport each time he’s asked. and people believe it every goddamn time without question; because what else would a billionaire do with their time other than unicycle hockey and chess boxing?

#unicycle hockey and chess boxing are real sports btw #dc comics #tim drake #batfamily #batfam #batboys #jason todd #dc headcanon #dick grayson #cassandra cain #stephanie brown #harper row #damian wayne #bruce wayne #batman

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haveihitanerve · 10 days

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The batkids taking shit from each other- the intimacy of knowing where the other persons weapons/gadgets/things are

The most commonly “pickpocketed” person is bruce, and he gets so used to it/they get so good at it that sometimes he forgets to take it back or replace it.

Batman and Red Hood are staking out a new villains headquarters and jason is bored so he reaches over to bruces side and pulls out three lollipops, working through them one at a time. Bruce doesn't even flinch, even as jason's hand digs deep into his side to reach the last one. Then later he has to calm down this little girl, reaches for the pocket, and finds he has no more lollipops to comfort this child with. So he reaches over to Nightwing, who is currently in deep discussion with a police officer, and tugs some sweets out from his shoulder pocket and hands it to the kid. Accidentally, he also takes a replacement grappling hook wire with it, since dick is a mess and has all sorts of shut crammed in every pocket thats not supposed to be there, but he just shrugs and tucks it into his own replacement wire pocket. Then dicks line breaks a few days later and he reaches for his pocket- and its empty. So he does a double backflip off the building, lands on top of a swinging red robin, snatches some replacement wire from his boot pocket, recharges his gun and is gone within a few seconds. Tim continues on like nothing has happened. When he lands on the next roof, Spoiler is waiting for him, and he gives her a quick kiss, reaching to the back of her waist band to grab a small knife and throw it at the goon coming up the stairs. A few days later steph is hanging upside down with cass and reaches for her knife, only to come up empty handed, so she just grabs the one cass has strapped to her thigh and peels her orange with that instead. Cass shrugs, drops from the ceiling on bruces shoulders, pecks his cheek and takes one of his daggers from his chest pocket. Three days later damian yeets his katana at Riddler(it misses but the villain is traumatized) but now the young robin is out of a weapon, so he ducks under cass’s legs and takes the dagger, sending it flying into a nearby goons gut. Bruce is both horrified and proud of his children and instates a weekly meeting to double check that every has all of their things. A very startling amount of gadgets and knicknacks are passed from hand to hand at these meetings, returned to their rightful owner. Bruce, naturally, has the largest pile that he has to put away. The kids all snicker into their hands as he glowers, shoving the weapons and pepper spray and gum pieces(“why did you take them if you weren't even going to chew them!!!”) back into his suit as they all finish up an hour before him and just watch.

#batfam #bruce wayne #good dad bruce wayne #good kids batkids #batkids #happy family #just lil batfam shenanigans #dick grayson #batman #tim drake #cassandra cain #stephanie brown #jason todd #damian wayne

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sistertotheknowitall · 2 months

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Some Guy Bingo

Masterpost.

Nearly three months into (what Jason called) The Haunting, the siblings kinda started a game. (“Either we're haunting him or he's haunting us, I haven't decided yet." "Considering he's the one appearing randomly, I'd say he's haunting us.")

Technically Tim had started it with, “five bucks says Danny went to class today.” (Gotham university was having an out break of fear toxin curtesy of Dr. Crane.) However, it was Jason who kicked it off with, “ten if he says something about actual scarecrows.”

Dick had snorted and said, “fifteen if it’s a personal experience about a farm.”

“I call bingo if he makes a vague statement on agriculture.” So it was actually Steph who started it.

“Bingo? We were placing bets.”

“Unlike you Hood, some people don’t get adopted by money.”

“As if Bruce doesn’t give you an allowance.”

(“As if he didn’t offer to adopt you,” Tim tacked on.)

It became a running joke where they started calling out "bingo if -" whenever they had to go out on a call. The joke had later formed into a running game when Danny had told Cass, “fighting gods is a pass-time, it is humanity that the real fight is against.” (He had trip over a curb and laid on the ground for several minutes before she asked if he was okay.) She said it wasn’t the most concerning thing he said to her and Steph chimed in claiming, “on a scale of one to ten that statement rates at a three.”

Jason had asked why Cass and Steph always got the weird ambiguous statements and he got cryptic shit about his “soul”.

(Damian had pointed out that at least he wasn’t being constantly referred to as a baby.)

I Call Bingo, which they still played whenever a situation required more than one of them, became “on a scale”

Dick was sure that “having given up on optimism, I find your enthusiasm to be overly bright” should be ranked higher then “I don’t like two-stepping but I’m from the mid-west, so do you know how to line dance?” (Danny and Duke had gotten into an awkward side step where they kept blocking each other.) Damian said the wording seemed passive-aggressive but the tone was too positive to be rude so he gave it a three. Jason said it sounded like a bad pick up line and gave it a two.

They often debated and defended the score they gave with Barbara chiming in over coms. She had never met Danny as Oracle but he was a regular at the public library. He was always polite and respectful and had quickly become one of her favorite patrons. Like Steph and Cass she also got odd statements but hers felt more like half-hearted jokes.

Bruce didn't always join in on their game but it wasn't surprising to see the occasional score placed in their reports. (They had a file dedicated to Danny's remarks. Originally it was to keep track of what they knew about him but at this point it was just to let the others know what he said this time.) Alfred was roped into it even if he didn't really participate unless asked. ("Hey Alfie, what would you give 'i'm glad i don't have to fight my food to eat it but if Batburger keeps giving me the wrong thing I'm summoning Lunch Lady.' Cause Tim says two but I think it's a five.") (He gave it a four.)

Post 4

#I just realized that i'd been forgetting Barbara and that is unacceptable #i hope this is coherent #danny is just some guy #the batfam are mostly use to him #batfamily #dcxdp #dc x dp #dp x dc #dpxdc #dp crossover #dp x dc crossover #danny fenton #danny phantom

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wolfish-chan · 3 months

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Batfam + co headcanons

- Jason dyes his hair black, but can’t seem to dye back the white streak

- His eyes use to be more brown, but after his dip in the Lazarus pit, they are a dark green

- The Al Ghul’s are similar in that aspect - Ra’s and Talia both have naturally brown eyes and Damian’s blue, but they’re now a vibrant green, reflecting the amount of time they’ve spent in the pit

- Ra’s eyes are the most unsettling, they’re the exact color of the pit water

- Damian has an accent

- Dick does too, but it’s much harder to pinpoint because of how much he’s traveled

- Damian calls Bruce ‘Baba’, but only after he disappeared. Before that it was just ‘Father’

- Tim is supposed to wear glasses, but he tends to forget them and his contacts so his mask is built to compensate. However, he is forever squinting during board meetings at Wayne Enterprises

- Jason and Bruce have the same thinking face but nobody would willingly call it out

- Alfred could definitely kill any of the rogue gallery, but he doesn’t out of respect of Bruce’s values

- Initially, Bruce would get annoyed when Tim would bring YJ into the batcave/manor, but he’s slowly begun to expect it

- He did get tired of finding Bart in his good chair though, so now he has a special one beside it (everyone knows it’s for Bart, but Bruce would rather be caught dead than admit that)

- Duke gets along really well with Bart and Wally, and Bruce feels a headache forming every time they’re together

- Cass is Wally’s favorite out of Dick’s siblings. More often than not, he talks way too fast for her to catch more than a few words, but she’s such an attentive listener that he forgets

- Stephanie and Jason aren’t allowed to be in a room together without supervision because they kept getting into fistfights (she antagonizes him as a hobby)

- When Damian needs time to think, he goes down to the barn to sit with Batcow because nobody ever checks for him there. They always assume he’s off training

- Duke brings out Damian’s childish nature in the best ways, and they’re almost as close as Damian is with Dick

- They pester each other a lot, but then fall asleep watching movies together (true brothers fr)

- The entirety of the batfam refuses to watch superhero movies because they’re “inaccurate”

- Jason and Diana have a genuine bond, and it only grows stronger when he comes back, even if she does get disappointed with his actions. She’s like the mom he never had

- Clark always says he doesn’t have favorites out of the younger generation, but it’s secretly Tim. He appreciates all that he does for Kon (Dick is still his favorite Robin tho)

- Alfred doesn’t make certain recipes anymore because they were something he used to make with Jason, and it upsets him to make them without his assistant

- Tim cannot for the life of him match his clothes, like Adam Sandler type of style

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ryoalouette · 8 months

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Machi's #10 DP x DC idea

Someone called on the Fenton's and now Danny is hiding from the CPS. He hides in the GZ and is only find out when he goes back home bc he missed Jazz.

Time goes differently on the realms, Danny has spent years in the GZ but only a couple days have passed on Earth. Unfortunately, after so long in the GZ Danny has gotten used to speaking by emotions and not by words so he barely talks. Until they can solve the situation with the Fenton's it is decided Danny should go to a house that is used to deal with this kind of behavior.

Cue to Danny being sent with the batfam.

He arrives late at night and Bruce decides that it will be better for Danny to meet the children in the morning (especially since some are on patrol rn) Danny is offered a room in the family wing but he rushes to Cass' room.

Cass immediately wakes up and pokes at Danny. Real? She asks and Danny nods.

Cass baby core sings in pure Bliss bc now they have a big ghost that they can talk to (Jason doesn't count bc Jason is corrupted) Cass slaps Danny on pure instinct and Danny smiles and chases after her. They both run and play in the room while having a silent conversation but when Bruce puts a step on the room they freeze and hide.

He tells them that he doesn't want to interrupt their games but it is time to sleep. They agree so they grab all the blankets and pillows they can find in the room, build a nest in the middle of the bed and hide inside.

From then on they have this bubble around them, Cass is more comfortable and relaxed with Danny than with anybody else and the same goes for Danny. They are always cuddling and touching each other and having quiet conversations. Thanks to this, Cass' powers show up and Danny doesn't officially join the Bats but he always seems to know when Cass is in danger and goes to her rescue every time, even if she is in another country.

#dpxdc #dp x dc #dc x dp #dcxdp #machi's idea #Ofc is Jazz who explains everything to the batfamily #Cass is immediately adopted by Jazz #She has to force both of them to talk more often though #Use your words Danny/Cass #they both find it annoying

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mysterycitrus · 3 months

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i read a post (that i now can’t find) that said if u mischaracterise dick grayson u then mischaracterise every other batman character and like…. yeah pretty much. he is literally patient zero of every weird fanon take

dick controls so much about how bruce and every successive character operates, thinks, and works with each other that interpreting him badly (whether on purpose or by accident) throws canon completely out of balance. like his relationship with bruce dictates jason being adopted. his particular run as robin dictates every other robin and/or batgirl and auxiliary sidekick. his relationship with bruce post ditf dictates tim’s introduction and run as robin. his run with the titans dictates young justice and tt03. what would gotham be without her robin? on and on and on it goes.

not to say that other characters don’t affect canon obvsly — but i don’t think it’s unfair to say that he is so foundational to how these characters exist that removing his influence corrupts the narrative. where would tim be if he wasn’t a dick grayson fan who recognised the quad? where would jason be if dick hadn’t left robin behind and then accepted him into the role? where would cass and steph and duke be if bruce didn’t have that experience raising dick?

#this has been sitting in the drafts since last year but once again the diskhorse around fanon continues #dick grayson #dc comics #spokes #batfam #unfortunately he IS just that important

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celaenaeiln · 2 months

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who do you think each bats' favourite sibling is canonically? i haven't seen much about this outside of super fanon stuff so i'm curious

Let's start with the easiest one!

Tim - Dick

Tim's favorite sibling but also favorite person ever is unquestionably, undoubtedly Dick. This boy adores his big brother. He's full-on obsessed with him.

His thoughts on Dick are just a compilation of praises about him and his inner dialogue simply consists of a series of hero worship.

Robin (1993) Issue #32

Red Robin Issue #23

Sometimes I ponder about Dick and Tim's relationship because I feel like what Tim wants from Dick isn't just a brother, I feel like he wants him to be a parent which is part of the reason why Tim and Damian don't get along.

Because the truth is, before Damian came along, Tim was Dick's robin first. And Tim loved it.

(This post was on hold for months because I needed that exact panel where Tim says to Dick "It's obvious he wants us to be the new batman and Robin." BuT i CaNt FiNd It. I literally give up, if anyone know what panel I'm referring to people reblog it with the panel and I'll upload it with the post)

Dick was Tim's Robin and everything he did he wanted to live up to him

Batman/Catwoman: The Gotham War: Scorched Earth

Look at what he says about Dick:

Batman: A Lonely Place of Dying

Even before Dick and Tim met again, Tim started working out just so he could be like his idol. Tim literally says to Dick "My grades are okay but I studied because I wanted to just like you."

You know what they say about idols and pedestals and never meeting your heroes? The opposite is true for Tim about Dick. After meeting Dick for the second time, his idol worship grew so much it shattered every ceiling in existence.

Tim loves him so so much. People sometimes misunderstand and think that Tim hated Dick when he fired him from Robin but it wasn't hate that Tim felt. It was jealousy. Jealousy over Dick choosing Damian over him.

Tim even solely used the Red Robin persona for the mere reason that he didn't want to dirty Dick's Robin by stigmatizing it with his less ethical actions.

Damian - Dick

Obviously. The only reason I said Tim was the easiest is because Tim's inner and outer thoughts about Dick can be complied to create volumes of fanbooks of flowing poetry about him. Damian on the other hand is more of a tsundere, but there's still only one person who he loves aside from his father and even more than.

Robin War Issue #1

If there were any doubts, I don't think this panel could be any clearer about who Damian's favorite is.

Stephanie - Cass

Batgirl (2000) Issue #38

Cass - Stephanie

Batgirls (2016) Issue #14

Damn.

Steph and Cass are each other's favorites

Detective Comics (1937) Issue #945

Duke - noone? everyone?

Like actually I can't pick out one person Duke likes the best. You're either on his wavelength or he's snarking you off it. He's the type of guy where everyone likes him and he's chilling by himself, doing whatever he wants.

Jason - Dick

Out of the batkids who did deal with Jason during his worst phase, Dick is unilaterally his favorite. Sometimes when I think about Jason's relationship with Bruce, I'm reminded of how much Jason and Bruce are alike sometimes because Jason's view on Dick is almost identical to Bruce's view on Dick and they even have similar reactions. We all know that Bruce hero-worships Dick. Time and time again, Bruce emphasizes, stresses, and talks about how amazing Dick is and how he's so much better than him, and constantly places Dick on a pedestal. The issue comes when Dick doesn't want to do what Bruce wants him to do because he believes that Dick is an extension of himself, his better half, and he's furious when Dick doesn't follow or accept what he's doing because Dick should know what Bruce is trying to do because he's supposed to be better than him, how dare he stop him, etc.

Jason acts in similar ways to Dick. There's a whole issue where Jason gets fear gassed and one of his biggest fears is Dick. More specifically, it's about how amazing Dick is and never living up to him because in Jason's eyes, Dick is absolutely perfect. There is no one better than him because he is the peak of everything. He places Dick on the highest pedestal there is and he kind of safeguards Dick there in his heart. He used to get really angry because he believes Dick is the best but also refuses to let Dick be anything other than the best. The best way I have to explain them is Jason holding Dick prisoner as a result of his hero worship.

Once Jason is slightly calmer, his relationship dynamics with everyone became really clear, as well as what he thinks of them and it's shown how the way he treats Dick is just different.

Task Force Z Issue #8

Grayson Issue #12

"You don't do that to your--you don't do that to another Robin!"

He was going to say brother 🥺🥺

In this scene, it's pretty obvious that Jason loves Dick a lot but he's obviously not going to be all fuzzy feelings about it because he likes to be edgy. Jason's a little confusing in general for people to understand because they expect him to be nice and open but Jason's not nice, he's just nicer to the people he likes. Once we start understanding that, he becomes clearer.

And to Dick -

Nightwing (2016) Issue #15

-He's exceptionally nicer.

DC's Ghouls Just Wanna Have Fun Issue #1

Another example of why Jason loves Dick the most is because in the comics, Jason doesn't work with anyone in the family unless he has to unless it's Dick because he chooses to work with Dick by choice.

Dick - Tim or Damian

Dick adores Tim so freaking much. He loves him so, so much.

Nightwing (1996) Issue #139

Catch me crying behind my sunglasses at Dick kissing Tim's head lovingly 😭

Robin (1993) Issue #12

I just love these soft touch moments Dick has with Tim. It's so incredibly sweet.

He was Tim's mentor

The New Titans (1988) Issue #65

and a really good one too.

He loves him-

Detective Comics (1937) Issue #696

-so much.

(I'd add more panels but I ran out of image space :'0)

I genuinely cannot say who he loves more at all. I can't even pick. I really do think he loves them evenly because when I think about leaning one side, more evidence comes to mind for the other side like a pair of counter weights.

Damian...I don't really need to say any words because the pictures speak for themselves

Batman (2016) Issue #34

Grayson Issue #12

aldskjdhkdjfhldfah;dh. Look at what he gave his son! A souvenir from the first time his dad met his mom because Dick knows how much Damian loves his parents <333!! There's nothing I can even say more.

Here's my previous post on Dick and Damian's relationship.

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fishfission-dc · 1 year

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Batfamily Powerpoint Night! (Part 2: Dick)

<<Part 1: Bruce | Part 3: Tim >>

[Masterlist]

Dick: My turn! And thank you Bruce for setting me up so perfectly!

Tim: OH MY GOD

Jason: Okay this one I can get behind

[disgruntled Bruce noises]

Babs: You prioritized those reasons... interestingly.

Damian: I agree with Richard. My farm animals occasionally require my attention on a time-sensitive basis.

Bruce: People’s lives are literally on the line

Tim: IT WAS ONE TIME GUYS

Jason: “Great driver” is a stretch for you, Dickhead

Steph: Yeah haven’t you crashed like three cars

Dick: Okay sure but how many times has B crashed the Batmobile? Definitely more than three.

Duke: You’re a hazard to traffic in a Toyota Corolla, Dick. But I agree about Tim.

Tim: I CAN DRIVE

Dick: Plus everyone keeps changing their codename, it’s so much easier to just use their normal people names in a pinch.

Cass: (signs) Fair.

Jason: Maybe if Bruce stopped adopting so many Robins we would follow the rules.

[disgruntled Bruce noises]

Steph: SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK

Bruce: Where did you get those pictures

Jason: Wow, Bruce not following his own rules? Who could have expected this baffling turn of events

Damian: Richard this is horrific

Bruce: Dick where did you find these

Jason: That meme is disgusting

Duke: I forget how much of a millennial you are sometimes

Steph: Maybe this is why we don’t answer your texts

Bruce: I-

Jason: Th-

Dick: I will be taking no questions at this time. Moving on-

Steph: JUSTICE FOR SPOILEROFFICIAL

Tim: Bruce please if Dick stops flirting with himself online can we have our accounts back

Bruce: No.

Steph: He’s just mad because Nightwing had more followers than Bruce Wayne on Twitter

Babs: richard

Dick: :)

Tim: Doesn’t Bruce kiss Selina with the mask off too-

Bruce: IS THIS ALMOST OVER

Damian: Todd and Father sharing a meal without injuring each other? Fascinating.

Jason: This is literally so humiliating where did you get this

Dick: :)

Bruce: I just gave a presentation on why these restrictions are important

Cass: (signing) You break them. Often.

Steph: Yeah I don’t know, Dick makes some pretty good points.

Bruce: [disgruntled Bruce noises]

Tim: My turn!

<<Part 1: Bruce | Part 3: Tim >>

[Masterlist]

#more will be made soon i promise #batman #dc robin #dick grayson #batfamily #jason todd #damian wayne #bruce wayne #tim drake #batfam #batfamily powerpoint au

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ew-selfish-art · 11 months

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My brain is unwilling to let go of Twin AU prompts. Sorry for the long post lmao.

Jazz and Jason are getting pretty serious in their relationship, and honestly, they’ve both been hesitant to introduce their family members to one another despite constantly talking about them. They’ve been dating since she started her doctoral studies at Gotham U and she’s about to defend her dissertation, so it really is about time. He saved her in her first week as the Red Hood and he immediately felt at home with her (something, something liminal), she runs into him the next day at a coffee shop and thanks him for taking the time to help her.

Identities are obviously blown. Jason knows that her brother works in ‘politics’ and her younger sister is a travel blogger, and that the three of them don’t talk to her mad scientist parents anymore. Jazz knows that he came back from the dead, his adoptive family had a slew of issues in addition to their hero-complexes and that he would be prepared to kill for any one of his siblings. Their communication skills are top notch.

But then came the issue of actually meeting the family. Like Jazz knows all of the drama between the siblings but could not pick them out of a line up, or more importantly, know who to talk to if an emergency situation came up. Jason agrees, that yeah, it would probably be for the best if he could at least identify her little brother and sister if they had to like, meet at hospital or something.

So that was the plan. Invite just siblings over to their shared apartment, no parents and no fuss. (She even called Danny ahead of time to tell him not to portal straight into the apartment, he needed to walk in the door like a normal person. They could share Ghost King secrets later.)

Tim arrives first, he’d been working a case nearby and Jazz & Jason live pretty close to a nice coffeeshop, so he stopped along the way. He’d done some creeping to figure out that she drinks Chai so he brought one for her. Creepy and yet, endearing.

Ellie comes in second from the window, launching into a story about how annoying it was to find the place with all the gloom, didn’t this city have any respect for the dead? Tim doesn’t get it but Jason is laughing along so Tim files it away for later.

Dick comes in with a shit ton of Pizza he panic ordered, a fruit bouquet and two bottles of wine from Bruce’s cellar. Duke came along with him, a large tupperware of Alfred’s cookies.

Then Steph, Babs and Cass show up, immediately treating Jazz like family while also being hella suspicious about the whole thing. She notices them looking at her hands and Jazz explains that no, they weren’t doing this because Jason proposed. Steph and Cass are annoyed at Jason but tell Jazz she could do better if she wanted. Babs is happy they aren’t rushing into anything (she’s the only one besides Tim that knows how long they’ve been dating- this is just to throw out a red herring for the others)

Everyone is getting along and having a great time, Ellie being a natural entertainer along side Dick, everyone trying to tell embarrassing stories about Jason. Loud noises are coming from the hallway when they realize that neither Damian nor Danny had arrived.

Rushing out the door, the boys are alternating putting each other into choke holds and arguing about not being clones. Danny keeps phasing out of Damian’s grip and Damian keeps pulling out more knives. The hallway looks like it had been blown up and the two are continuing to yell at one another about going to a family dinner. Jason and Jazz just stare at them from the doorway, and wouldn’t you know it, they look like fucking twins.

Jazz grabs Danny, Jason grabs Damian, and everyone is fucking confused. Both sides of the family can confirm growing up with the twins, that neither are a clone. Ellie helpfully supplies that she’s the clone and that opens a whole other bag of chaos.

Eventually they get everyone to sit down for dinner and the night gets weirder from there.

#dc x dp #dc x dp fic #twins au #danny and damian are twins #anger management #jason and jazz just wanted a chill night why is that never possible #Damian and danny have to figure out what the fuck is going on but neither are willing to call their parents to confirm #Damian would rather die than ask talia #Danny would rather die again than ask the drs fenton #They both decide that its fucking weird but if jazz and jason get married they were going to be family anyway #Danny is honestly excited to have a third version of himself around #Damian is willing to be civil for the time being so long as Danny doesn't try to step on any heir related topics #danny phantom #dc universe #dp x dc #dpxdc

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creepslayer7 · 10 months

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Dude imagine-

For some reason Danny gets adopted by the bat fam right? But they don't know he has powers and he doesn't want them too. But he still uses them all the time out of habit.

-completely silent, pops up out of nowhere because of his invisibility, goes through walls and ends up getting to different rooms way faster then the rest of them.

They are confused how this random civilian child is sneaking around without them knowing how he does it and when they ask him about it he panics, cuz he doesn't want them to know he has powers so he blurts out the first thing he can think of-

"there's secret tunnels all through the manor."

They for some reason believe him(barely) because how else would he be able to get around like that?

But he refuses to tell them where they are or how he found them (because they don't exist) and they're all confused why they never found any tunnels when they explored the manor over the years.

They're also probably embarrassed that none of them, as the 'worlds greatest directive family' , could find these so called tunnels so they all look in secret separately from each other.

Eventually they decide that Danny has to be lying because none of them can find these tunnels.

Until Jason, who knows Danny is a halfa (and is maybe also one himself) tells them that the tunnels are real and that he uses them too. And he either uses his ghost abilities too if he is a halfa or he gets Danny to use his powers on him too.

And at this point the family has seen them appear and disappear, together AND separately, as soon as they're not looking, even in rooms where someone is blocking the only entrances.

Which sends the family into a frenzy,

- Tim hasn't slept in weeks, he has multiple maps and blueprints of the manor strewn around his table with empty coffee cups and a repurposed crime bulletin board.

- Dick and Steph have accepted defeat and have taken to begging Danny or Jason for the location of the tunnels. Even bringing up the pranking opportunities they could have, which they come to regret when Jason and Danny use their ideas on them and the rest of the family.

- Cass is frustrated and a little jumpy that she can't find these tunnels and that they can sneak up on her at any time, so they take pity on her and let her in on the secret. They also make sure she always know when they approach her so they don't freak her out.

- Duke has decided to stay out of it but they occasionally find him looking around for the tunnels when he thinks no one's around.

- Damien can't stand that they know something about their house that he doesn't and immediately pesters Bruce about it and interrogates everyone. He even considers joining Tim before deciding that it would be shameful to find the tunnels with his help.

- Bruce is confused because he figures he would know about any tunnels in his own home since childhood, but ultimately he believes that they're real because Danny, Jason, AND now Cass seem to know where they are. He is half parts disappointed they're so difficult to find, because the childish side of him would have enjoyed playing in them when he was younger, and half parts relieved, because he doesn't think he could handle all his kids popping in and out of every crevice in the manor. Though he does ask Alfred if he knew about them, to which he cryptically responds that he knows exactly how they're getting around, but he refuses to elaborate further. The more Bruce thinks about it he comes to realize that it makes so much since that Alfred knows, and he assumes that is how he is always getting around the manor so quickly undetected.

- Alfred knows that Danny (and maybe Jason) is a ghost because he saw him either disappear or appear out of thin air and talked to him about it. Once everyone knew he knew about what was going on they badgered him for answers but he felt it would be disrespectful and hurtful to Danny to 'out him' so to speak before he was ready, and he figured that they were just having harmless fun.

#tag me if you write this #pls write this #batfam #feel free to expand on this #batfamily #dp x dc #dcxdp

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xxgoblin-dumplingxx · 2 months

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Disowned verse my beloved

Jason followed behind Dick on his motorcycle and tried not to sulk. He didn't WANT to be back in Gotham. He wanted to be home with his wife, making breakfast and stealing kisses as you dart past each other trying to get kids out the door to the bus.

And maybe more before you go. And then make obscene phone calls to the hardware store between following up on his cases and his leads.

Instead, he felt- a lot of things. Mostly irritation. Bruce went 'missing' all the time. But. If Dick was worried enough to find him, maybe it was different.

Except.

"What the fuck, Dick?" Jason said scowling.

"I don't- I- I don't know."

Bruce was standing out front. Looking equally awkward. "Well," Jason snorted, "we found him. Looks like I can-"

But before he could rev the engine and leave, floodgates opened and people rushed out the door. Not even remotely concerned about Bruce. And he was engulfed in siblings and staff. Questions by the dozen peppered him like buck shot.

"What the-"

And like he was being carried away by a tide, he felt himself being dragged back into the house. Into the fold again. Like the intervening two years hadn't happened.

"Okay but where are the kids?" Stephanie demanded, "And your wife?"

"At home," Jason said woodenly, shooting a look at Dick, who- to his credit looked almost as confused as Jason felt. And then at Tim two seemed to be looking at Bruce annoyed. "If I hurry I can probably be back in time to see them when they get home from-"

"Why didn't you just bring them?" Cass asked.

"I was told," Jason snapped acidly, "That Bruce was missing. And yet-"

"Jason," Bruce said clearing his throat "I-there was-"

"Bruce wants to apologize," Tim broke in. "But he had to do it the stupidest way possible."

#jason todd #jason todd x reader #ask answered #minors dni #reader insert #disowned!verse

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gffa · 4 months

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"You hold it against Damian, who sat across from me, helpless, as it happened. You hold it against Richard, who was not himself to help you fight Bane. You hold it against Selina for make you feel it was not safe to come home for a moment longer." This conversation still hits like a truck, because this is Bruce's vision of Alfred when he's been drugged and trying to get his act together, this is Bruce acknowledging the things he's buried in his heart and hasn't let go of yet and it strikes me so hard that these are the people who were most involved in the story around Alfred's death--and then Dick, too. Who wasn't involved at all. Yet is still brought up as one of the jagged pieces of glass still lodged in Bruce's heart. It's so striking that Alfred-as-Bruce's-mouthpiece says that he holds it against Dick for not being there, because isn't that exactly the issue? That Bruce holds onto Dick as the one he always, always counts on for support. That, even when Dick is an amnesiac who doesn't remember anything of his life, some part of Bruce is still relying on him to be there. He's not involved in this at all, but Bruce still makes him part of this, in a way that doesn't apply to Jason or Tim or Cass or Babs or Cass or Duke. That it doesn't matter where Dick is or where he goes or how little he's involved, when it comes to these deeply personal things, like the death of one of his family, Bruce cannot let him go. Dick is the one who knows him the deepest, who Bruce relies on to be a constant rock in the raging torrents of their life, who Bruce needs in a way that I think only Alfred ever really matched. So much of that was from those early years, when it was just Bruce, Dick, and Alfred, they forged each other, they laid each others' foundations in this life. Yeah, Bruce was doing this for awhile before Dick came along, but it wasn't until that hurricane child barged into his life that Bruce really became who he is now, that he found any kind of balance in this life at all. And Bruce has never let go of that, he struggles to accept that Dick is an adult in a separate city and with his own priorities now, but some part of him will always have the deepest rockbed of: Alfred and Dick were the ones who knew him the clearest and who would always pull him out of the dark. Others will find their way into the twisting paths of Bruce's heart, Damian and Selina are part of this, he has equally thorn-filled dynamics with Tim and Jason, but, oh, Dick and Alfred. Those two are the ones Bruce used to build himself upon their framework. They will always be at the core of him, even when they're no longer physically there.

#lumi.txt #dc #batfam #bruce wayne #dick grayson #alfred pennyworth #batman 2016

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incorrectbatfam · 4 months

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The time travel fix it trope but it's Alfred. It's been Alfred for a long long time.

Ok but imagine:

Alfred tries to fix things by going back to the day at the movie theater and preventing Thomas and Martha's deaths. He thinks that should be it, that should make everything okay because it was the root of all the problems, right?

He then returns to the present. Thomas, Martha, and Bruce are all older. Bruce is now in charge of Wayne Enterprises. The Manor is always bustling with galas, dinner parties, and visits from important guests and business partners. Alfred goes back to his job as the butler, but after a while, he realizes what he's done.

With Thomas and Martha alive, Bruce has no reason to become Batman. Without Batman, Dick Grayson grows up floating from one foster home to the next until he aged out and was left to his own devices. Jason Todd manages to claw his way out the gutter but he's a completely different person. Tim Drake begrudgingly follows his parents' footsteps and becomes another fake smile on the cover of a magazine. Barbara Gordon pursues an ordinary job that she doesn't like. Stephanie Brown, Duke Thomas, and Cassandra Cain are all lost in the conversation. Damian Wayne never existed. Crime and villainy are rampant but Bruce is safe and far removed. There's no Justice League. No Titans or Young Justice or Birds of Prey. No batfamily. No warmth.

So Alfred goes back. He travels back to when his first iteration was going to save Thomas and Martha, and he stops himself. The Waynes are murdered in that alleyway and it breaks Alfred's heart all over again, but it's the only way to set things straight. Or so he hopes.

Holding his breath, he goes back to the present-day Manor. Of course, the first person he sees is Bruce and of course Bruce immediately picks up that something happened because he is, after all, the World's Greatest Detective. Alfred ignores him and, to his relief, finds the Batcave entrance in the clock.

Dick and Tim are going through a set of cold cases that Tim thinks might be interconnected. Steph is recounting her fight to the Riddler to Cass and Babs. Jason is holding something out of Damian's reach and Duke is giving Damian a little boost. Kate and Bette are helping each other wipe clay off their uniforms while Harper and Cullen test a prototype taser on a dummy. Luke is calibrating his armor. Helena is sharpening her arrows. Selina is opening a fortune cookie from their post-patrol takeout. Ace and Titus are fighting over a chew toy while the cat naps on the keyboard.

They're all there.

Bruce catches up and asks, "Alfred, is something wrong?"

Alfred shakes it off and composes himself. "Not at all, Master Bruce. Why do you ask?"

"Just making sure," Bruce says before he goes and joins the family.

Alfred's family.

Not perfect, but whole.

Just the way it should be.

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havendance · 4 months

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Anyway, my proposal for a run on Detective Comics where I write a series of one-shot stories showcasing all of the various supporting cast Batman has accumulated with stories, including, but not limited to:

Batman invites Nightwing to Gotham to help him solve a murder. The murder is very straightforward and they dance around the real reason Bruce invited him, until at the end, he finally admits in a constipated Bruce way that it's the anniversary of him adopting Dick and he wanted to spend time with him.

Huntress and Robin (Tim Drake) team up to investigate Killer Croc. It turns out he's turning over a new leaf in the sewers near the Marina. Huntress is dubious, but Robin convinces her to give him a chance, though she says she'll be watching him. We re-canonize Joker: Last Laugh.

Damian and Duke team up to take on a street-racing operation--a mission that naturally requires them to do some high adrenaline racing together.

The Riddler gets on social media with a plot that involves lots of puzzles and clues all over Gotham. Oracle taps into old members of "We are Robin" to take it down.

Batgirl (Stephanie Brown) and Batman end up on the same missing persons case. With the pressure on to find the missing child, they snipe at each other as tensions rise. In the end, after saving the kid, Bruce sort of kind of apologizes in a Bruce way and expresses some measure of respect for her.

Jason teams up with Ghostmaker to take on, idk, one of the Clayfaces. Does Gotham still have one of those? I haven't read any comics ghostmaker's in yet, but from I've heard it sounds like they'd have an interesting dynamic. Jason gets flashbacks to digging his way out of his grave.

Luke Fox recruites Harper Row (She does engineering stuff right? I also need to read comics she has a significant role in.) They take some new tech for a joyride and go bother the Penguin.

Batgirl (Cassandra Cain) and Azrael team up to take down Mad Hatter. He probably has some elaborate Alice in Wonderland theming going on that neither of them get. (I think neither of them should have read it.)

Batwoman and Catwoman team up to steal back some Kane family heirlooms, possibly from Jacob Kane (What's his and Kate's relationship looking like anyway?), possibly from someone else.

Gotham Girl and somebody. Me advancing my Cass & Claire agenda Possibly Oracle trying to rehabilitate her in that controlling yet well-intentioned way she has sometimes? Someday, I will get to being more up to date on what Claire's status quo in current comics is.

A handful of representatives from Gotham's various crime families get together in the backroom of a bar somewhere. They play poker and exchange stories of being busted by the various bat-affiliated vigilantes in which they are very scary and almost inhuman. It ends with Batgirl (Cass) busting in and beating them up.

Helena Bertinelli takes a gig as a substitute teacher at Gotham Academy. She teams up with Maps & other supporting cast when Mr Freeze takes the school hostage while trying to escape the police.

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