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neptunezo · 1 month

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The batkids are known for sharing clothes amongst each other, so imagine everyone’s surprise when Jason won’t let them borrow his hoodie. Upon further inspection they find out it’s Roy’s hoodie. This causes a chain reaction and now Dick won’t let anyone borrow his Wally hoodie, Tim won’t let anyone borrow his Kon hoodie, Damian with Jon’s clothes(which there was no need for because Damian’s clothes never fit anyways), Duke with Izzy’s, Cass with Steph, and so on. After this “civil war” they all reluctantly agree to end this and all clothes (their own or not) is up for grabs. (minus Damian and Jon, of course)

bonus is when their partners steal the batkids clothes only to find out later that it’s definitely not a wayne kids clothing item.

Roy: That’s my sweater?

Wally: Yeah well Kon’s wearing my pants so…

Izzy: I’m probably wearing one of your boxers, it’s for sure not Dukes

Kon: how do you know?

Izzy: Because Duke doesn’t own Minecraft boxers???

Steph: Oh yeah sorry, those are mine

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inkedberries · 4 months

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after patrolling, unwinding in a diner somewhere ...

throw the man a bone batman geez

#a very notice-me-senpai moment #lol idk i just can't stop thinking about this exchange i thought up whenever batman calls supes out for 'showing off'#GAAAHHH I LOVE THEM #superbat #batman #superman #world's finest #my art #fanart #man i just love an oblivious batman

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disco-troy · 4 months

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KG Beast had the worst time of his life after he shot Nightwing.

First he got beat up by Batman and abandoned in the snow

Then Nightwing himself beat him up (and told him a pun)

THEN The Batgirls lured him to their turf ON PURPOSE to beat him up

Damian nearly kills him

He gets beat up by a guy at the speed of light

and that's not even counting Kory's reaction!

Entire hired killer career OVER bc he shot one man

#the tone shift is so funny like as more and more people beat this man up it gets easier and easier #bruce has a drawn out fight in the artic #cass and steph just like have a fun time mugging this man in an ally #i realize the tone shifts of the books r to blame but i love the implication that hes just given up at this point hes not winning ever #dick grayson #kgbeast #batman #dc comics #wally west #damian wayne #cass #steph

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koroart · 1 month

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Mods are asleep — post SuperBat 👌🏼✨

#my other favorite old man yaoi ship #I missed them #Jason is there too #and the others #gagging cuz their dads are being gross and in love #:: my art #dc #dc comics #batman #bruce wayne #superman #clark kent #jason todd #red hood #batfamily #batfam #in spirit #superbat

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sasswonfp · 1 year

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This joke came to me in a fit of laughter (ALT description provided :3!)

#superman #batman #the flash #flash #wally west #bruce wayne #clark kent #justice leauge unlimited #justice league #abruptly I was hit with this joke when I made one abt myself being always 2 seconds away from crying and realised it worked oh so well #i had so much fun drawing this #esp bc i was really trying to find a good medium between my style and the jlu style #super blocky but also a bit more realistic than jlu #batman is so shape and i fucking love it #literally i just drew his outline i didn't even bother with the rest of it #gremlin fucking creature. man who is just an object #this is my first time ever doing like an actual attempt at dc-#homegrown art

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thedevilundercover · 2 months

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There’s such an easy way to wrangle all of the Batchildren. Bruce, take some notes: stickers

Especially the golden star stickers. If you pull one of those out? All of them are going fucking feral

Maybe he learnt it from some other single mom of too many kids™️ at some PTA meeting or whatever

*clears throat* here’s a demonstration of what I think would happen.

Batman: I have acquired some new knowledge and have decided to implement them into our training

Batchildren: yeah; ok; whatever; no one cares

Batman, pulls out some stickers from his bat pouches™️:

All of the fucking Batchildren: *going feral, ballistic over the stickers, actually listen for once*

#I’m in hs and my class eats that shit up bro #I would love to get some stickers :)#Man I’d be a great parent #tim drake #red hood #bruce wayne #batman #red robin #jason todd #dick grayson #damian wayne #batfam #dcu #duke thomas #cassandra cain #steph brown #stephanie brown #nightwing #dc robin

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cryptar · 1 year

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au where ALL the batkids inherit bruces adopting problem, but it's for kids that remind them of themselves

When a hyper-intelligent juvenile figures out his identity and starts following him around on patrol the only thing Tim can think is that this is karma

Steph sees any spunky kid with a villain parent and a hunger for justice and goes 'mine.'

An angry, bitter kid shows up at the police station and Dick immediately starts teaching them how to juggle

Jason reiterates to himself that he's not anything like bruce while collecting crime alley kids like pokemon cards

The little redheaded techie from Barbaras workplace accidently calls her mom and she nearly cries

When a mute youth with a truly horrible father needs a place to call home, Cass doesn't hesitate when inviting them into hers.

it only makes sense for Duke to take the new meta-vigilante under his wing, right? right??

Damian doesn't realise he's mentally adopted the small, scruffy assassin sent after him until he's reading them a bedtime story.

none of them tell eachother until there's a family reunion and then it's just

#alfred thinks its funny and bruce is so smug #alfreds alive btw that man will outlive all of us #batman #batfam #batkids #cassandra cain #barbara gordon #stephanie brown #dick grayson #damian wayne #duke thomas #jason todd #tim drake #ill legit make fankid ocs for this au istg i love it #edit: im glad people are enjoying the spiderman meme #i worked hard on that >:]#prompt #cryptic ramblings

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frownyalfred · 1 year

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I love the “Bruce is strong enough to pick up post-Lazarus Jason through sheer will and training” trope obviously, but picture:

Jason and Bruce being so heavy/muscular/fucking big, that they’re the only ones who can pick the other up.

Cue Bruce getting called in anytime Jason’s down and they need to move him. Or Jason getting pointed puppy eyes from Alfred until he sighs and picks Bruce up and carries him to bed after he passes out on the couch.

#Jason secretly loves it #and he’s also proud he’s the only one who can really carry batman #other than metas #like that man is 250+ lbs of muscle #and so is Jason #Jason is a little shorter but he’s DENSE #bruce wayne #batman #dc #batfamily #jason todd #batdad #batfam #THOUGHTS #more on that post I had about Bruce picking up his kids #yes this is about the salmon ladder #lol

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brothebro · 1 year

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Just a wee scene from chapter 10 of The Curious Case of D. Grayson

#bro arts #tccodg tag #dp x dc #dc x dp #dc x dp crossover #danny phantom #man i love drawing 25yo danny #bro’s palette challenge #batman #dcxdp

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neptunezo · 6 days

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superbat (clark x bruce) to superbat (tim x kon) to superbat (damian x jon) pipeline is so real

#batman #superman #superbat #batkids #damian wayne #tim drake #clark kent #bruce wayne #kon el kent #jonathan kent #timkon #damijon #man i love batman #i go to sleep thinking about them and their silly little partners #i cant escape the tragic lovers pipeline #none of them get their happy ending wtf

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bonchobrick · 10 months

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I just want a fic where Danny and Jason are just fucking laughing so hard they’re wheezing and bawling as they make death jokes while everyone else is SO uncomfortable

Like they’re full on cackling like Danny will say “We’re not allowed in certain rooms”

Jason will b like ‘what rooms’

Danny will say ‘living rooms’

And they both start dying (metaphorically) of laughter slapplin the counter crying while dick is trying real hard not to shatter the mug in his hands with a constipated expression that rivals Bruce’s a seat away from him (+bonus points if the joke is something that is on the verge of being utterly lame like a near science pun)

(I dunno if a lot of people will see this post but if you do please I’m begging you add a death joke guys please it would be so funny)

#dp x dc #dc x dp #danny phantom #jason todd #jason peter todd #danny fenton #danny x jason #I guess?#they can b really close ghost buddies I don’t mind #batfam #batman #dick is this close to losing it every time danny says ‘man I slept like the dead last night’#danny and jason evry time someone asks them to explain themselves:#dead man shenanigans you know how it is #I love science puns #because they’re awful and I can imagine my teacher giggling at it while teachin #dead on main #red hood #veerliwrites

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ditzybat · 27 days

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Jason prowled deeper into the tower, it was a struggle to get the speedy kid down, but after multiple tranquilizers (that could put a rhino into cardiac arrest) the kid finally managed to knock out.

He went over his monologue speech in his head, scanning his eyes over this, honest-to-god, pig-stye of a room (seriously, wasn't this supposed to be the meticulously organized Robin? Jason could barely see the floor before him). Finally, gazing out one of the large window panes, on the phone, was his target in his robin costume - sans the mask.

Tim mumbled a tired goodbye into the phone, seemingly exasperated by the phone call, he picked up on the words 'Bruce' and sneered from beneath his mask.

"You sleep in that thing or something Timmy? That's pathetic" Jason growls out from his place from the threshold of the room.

For his part, Tim spins around with a flutter of his ridiculous cape and a twitch of his muscles "Hood, I-"

Jason lurches forward, beginning his speech, counting the sequence of events like he used to in drama class.

"I was raised on the streets of Gotham." 1. Taking off his hood. "Trying to survive." 2. Tearing his clothes to reveal his homemade Robin getup, "Until Bruce took me in." 3. Cornering the brat, only a step or two away in arm's reach - good, "I trained -"

One thing Jason did not account for was Tim to make the first move and interupt his origin story speech, stabbing the side of his neck.

"Did you seriously just fucking stab me with a hello kitty knife?"

Tim has the gall to flush, "I told Cassie and Bart to stop tampering with my equipment, it's unprofessional! I bet Kon put them up to this!" he squaked, Jason reaches up and takes the knife from his neck, putting pressure onto the wound, and examining it.

"You could've hit an artery!" Tim gives a frog blink and sleepily grunts.

"Damn, which side is the artery on again? I don't really know my lefts and rights, I'm ambedixtrious."

"Do you mean dyslexic?"

"No I'm bisexual." Tim looks genuinely confused, a pout forming on his features as he squinted at nothing like he was trying to figure out an especially difficult puzzle.

Jason, with the pit madness slowly receding from his vision, starts to become a little more concerned.

"Kid, when was the last time you slept?"

"Monday."

"It's Thursday."

"Okay??..."

Jason sighs and picks up his jacket, slipping his pants over the tights and scaly shorts. "I'm going to stitch myself up, then I'm going to make you eat something - you're so itty bitty, like an 8 year old with a six pack - then you're going to take a nice long nap while I wait for B to come and I'll lecture him on the importance of keeping his Robin's alive and healthy."

Tim yawns and nods his head, sinking into his cape so he's just a bobbing head in the shadows.

#Jason seeing a Robin disregarding his own wellbeing to prioritize a man with the emotional density of a wet paper bag first #and immeaditly going: nu-uh you're mine now - i've already adopted you in my head #tim who hasnt slep in 96 hours: aight #another tower au #i love them sm #dc #tim drake #jason todd #robin #red robin #bruce wayne #red hood #batman #teen titans

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justwannabecat · 27 days

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I need fics where Bruce/Dick explicitly tell people that they didn’t let Tim become Robin because he knew, or because of Bruce’s mental state, or even because of the fact that Tim kept coming back.

I need them to be like “Yeah we’re pretty sure he was gonna become a villain before this. We’re honestly pretty lucky that he looked up to us. I mean, he was blackmailing us at age 12, he trained with Lady Shiva, outsmarted Ra’s, fought an evil version of himself from the future where he was a joint dictator with his friends… But he’s a good guy, and we can only hope he stays that way :)”

#batman #tim drake #red robin #Tim is unhinged #feral tim drake #like he would’ve been a villain #think about it #zero friends? no loving family? alone 100% of the time?#plus he probably figured out half of the JL’s identities by the time he was 10 #I want Bruce or Dick to explain this to Jason #I want Jason to realize that Tim is quite possibly the scariest member of the family #I want to put the fear of god in that man and tell him that god is Tim

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oifaaa · 10 months

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Honestly think it'd be hilarious if people brought the same energy they use on hating Dick for "giving robin to Damian" to the actual person who made Damian robin you know this motherfucker

#dc #alfred pennyworth #the bastard #dc comics #damian wayne #robin #dick grayson #batman #100% stole the pic from your post steph cause im lazy hope you dont mind #but yeah wheres the outrage at al here #wheres the hate #would love to see more spite fics directed at alfred #i need a alfred threw tim in Arkham fic pronto #(sidenote tho actually think alfred and damians relationship is so underated they get over shadowed alot by dick and damian)#(which fair but my man al always looks out for damian and the way damian gets blamed for his death )#(heart breaking)

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jasontoddenthusiastt · 1 year

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Honorary appreciation post for this mentally exhausted sweetheart.

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astorianyxkings · 3 months

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Oldest Daughter Dick™ is probably one of my favourite things ever. And it always will be and here's why:

Of course Dick loves his siblings and of course he loves that they know Bruce as the father he is. But it won't stop the jealousy he feels. And no one gets it, not even Jason. They were all raised by Bruce Wayne, he was raised by Batman.

When Dick came to live with him, Bruce had no idea how to he a father. How to handle normal kid stuff like sicknesses and school events let alone the fact he was an acrobat. He was Batman and Dick was raised to be not just his successor but the only contingency plan he had against himself.

Bruce never held his punches ("That was a good block but I still got you, didn't I?" Bruce had said, rubbing cream into the blossoming bruise on Dick's side. "I'll get you next time," Dick had promised, young eyes challenging. "You better." Bruce had grinned back.) All attacks were to remind him that he was at a disadvantage strength wise and thus needed to re-evaluate his lines of defense and offense.

Dick was raised by the paranoid-in-his-late-twenties-probably-shouldn't-be-a-dad-despite-what-Marisol-said Bat. A fun game of catch? He was dodging Batarangs. Learning to drive? It was the Batmobile and he was age 14 (and a half). School events? He was fumbling, awkward and did not want to be there (but still was because he'll be damned if his boy didn't have his support.)

And you know that's fine, Dick was fine. It wasn't Bruce's fault he didn't know how to be a proper dad, despite Alfred's parenting books and videos. And he did try, he was always there. But it just really hits a sore spot everytime he sees Bruce hold a punch before he knocks Tim out cold or when he's behind the wheel with Steph telling her what not to do. Or even when he's at school with Damian and Duke making Marjory and her cupcakes look ridiculous compared to him and his coconut crumble cakes.

It also irritates Dick beyond senseless whenever the topic of sparring with Bruce is mentioned. ("We can all beat the old man Goldie, he's ancient." Jason shrugs off and Dick wanted to scream.) The only one who even tries to sympathize with him was Cass. More than likely because she'd seen him fight as Batman The Dark Knight before seeing him fight as Bruce The Father of Six-Almost-Eight.

And it just really stings because he can't relate to being raised by Bruce the way the others can't. Bruce changed for them, not him. And maybe that kind of hurts. But maybe he's overreacting.

What he doesn't realize is he's the reason why Bruce changed. Bruce saw the hurt and anger in Dick's eyes when he fired him from Robin (Think Shifu denying Tai Lung the Dragon Warrior scroll). He knew the second he saw the betrayal in Dick's eyes after seeing Jason as Robin, that he'd have to change. (The same way Shifu should've changed for Tigress but I digress, not that fandom).

Bruce pulls his punches because he hated seeing Dick limp away from their sparring matches—despite the fire and promise of a rematch in his eyes. He teaches them how to drive regular cars before the Batmobile because the one time Dick crashed (while trying to avoid some of Poison Ivy's vines) his heart rate skyrocketed so high Clark had called him up demanding to know if he was okay. He shows up for Duke and Damian and Cass and Tim because Dick's smile whenever he saw Bruce in the parent's lounge never failed to make him melt.

Bruce stands firm on the fact that while he may have made a hero out of Dick, Dick Grayson made a father out of Bruce Wayne.

#dc comics #batfam #dick grayson #bruce wayne #batman #dc robin #Marisol was Dick's social worker #Yeah Bruce had to spend a half an hour reassuring Clark that he was fine and Robin just scared him a little #(half to death #he saw the light)#I stand firm on the headcannon that Bruce's contingency plan for himseld has and always will be Dick #The rest of the batfam don't know why since Dick's the only one who takes fhe no kill rule harder than the old man himself #but whatever #Bruce and Dick angst is my favourite flavour #I hate it cuz I love it

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