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#not really it’s just funny to see how they turned out💀
milesworld96 · 8 months
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Oh my GOD, is everyone that was in the Shield a fucking masochist now? Bc Jon bleeds like everyday of the week for funsies; And Seth calling out Shinsuke after he had tried to kill him after payback💀💀 and then Roman is just Roman.
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vanibear · 11 months
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skitters around like a beast. Hii ❤️ok im going 2 go ramble in the tags now👍
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jimingyue · 4 months
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Cat Tumblr Dashboard Simulator
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🖋️ meowful-musings Follow
🕊️ birdwatching Follow
what's wrong with dry food??? my humans feed me it all the time and i think it's fine
💀 elusivehider-deactivated948204
op wheres the natural feeding option
🌲 outdoorsy Follow
you guys are getting fed?
#im a barn cat so maybe im missing something here #meowtthew don't look
7,192 notes
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☀️ pawsitive-affurmations Follow
ITS OKAY TO BE A MOGGIE
ITS OKAY TO BE A MOGGIE
YOU ARE NOT LESS VALID IF YOU ARE NOT A SPECIFIC PEDIGREE!!!!!
☀️ pawsitive-affurmations Follow
extra special shout out to cats who have "common" coat colors. grey tabbies and black cats i am rubbing against your head affectionately <3
🪤 m0usetrap01 Follow
as a grey tabby i really needed to hear this :"3
#i feel like i never see positivity posts for moggies even tho we're the most common type of cat....
154,688 notes
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🎵 rage-against-the-meowchine Follow
i cant believe there are cats ACTUALLY advocating for kittens to be separated from their mothers before 12 weeks??? kittens still need to learn how to interact with other cats before being placed into their furever home omg you guys know you're advocating for undersocialized and aggressive cats right
❤️ loving-paws284 Follow
um op some of us??? matured early??????? i was separated from my mother at 7 weeks and i turned out fine... interesting how you assume that kittens being separated from their mothers at a younger age will lead to the degeneracy of the next generation...hmm i wonder where i've heard that before...
🐈 fluffy-the-cat Follow
OP got bit too hard during a play-fight as a kitten and it shows XD
🐟 tunafeesh Follow
also op have you ever considered that just because somecat is kind of scared and unable to deal with strange cats or humans, it doesn't mean they don't deserve to be adopted?? you sound like a vet psyop honestly
🎵 rage-against-the-meowchine Follow
oh meow god saying that kittens should be fully weaned before leaving their mother is NOT veterinarian rhetoric and i never said that they deserve to be euthanized!!! my mother literally died when i was 3 weeks old and it seriously messed up my development so stop putting words in my mouth, thanks
anyway friendly reminder that underweaned kittens are prone to illness and often struggle with basic cat behaviors like litterbox usage, and in some nyavinces it's even considered kitten abuse
#discourse #cant believe "kitten abuse is bad" is controversial now
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🍃 naturalliving Follow
BORN TO DIE
WORLD IS A FUCK
猫神 Kill Em All 1989
I am trash cat
410,757,864,530 DEAD BIRDS
#outdoorliving #outdoorcats please interact #outdoorcat friendly
48,971 notes
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🎣 salmonpurina Follow
can't believe cats are uncritically reblogging that born to die world is a fuck post. i know it's funny but op is literally an outdoor cat truther
#like cmon now you just have to go to their blog #lulu speaks
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💀 tabbystripes-deactivated098712
gentle reminder that pushing cups off the table is not cute and can cause a lot of distress in your human!!!! gentle reminder that our teeth and claws can easily hurt them more than they can hurt us!!!!
🐰 evil-tabbystripes Follow
evil reminder that the cup should always be pushed off the table. evil reminder that you should always bite and claw at your human no matter what. you can do whatever you want forever
💀 tabbystripes-deactivated098712
make your own pawst
💀 laser-point-deactivated8574721
umm i know a tomcat who did that and his human ended up putting him down so...
👬🏻 nyasunaruenjoyer Follow
Nyaverage shelter cat behavior
#not nyaruto #re-nyab #pickles shut up
545,460 notes
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🌈 nyaoi-warrior Follow
saw two male cats sleeping together on the porch today. homeow behavior imo
💡 discourse-meows Follow
hey um what the fuck??? it's really not okay of you to go assuming other cat's sexualities, especially cats you don't even know???? as a queer cat i'm VERYY uncomfortable. real-ass cats didn't consent to your nyaoi fetish, thanks
🌈 nyaoi-warrior Follow
1. i was making. a joak
2. i'm literally gay???
#literally what's your pawblem
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🎩 amazingcatshow12 Follow
reblog if you've ever caught the laser pointer
🎩 amazingcatshow12 Follow
i know you fuckers are lying
🍭 gaykittens Follow
this tom hasn't caught the laser pointer
🎩 amazingcatshow12 Follow
shut the heull up
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🐾 b-e-a-n-t-o-e-s Follow
grey toebeans >>>>>>>>> pink toebeans and don't let the haters make you believe otherwise
🐁 ladymouser Follow
op shut the fuck up ALL toebeans are beautiful!!! just bc you're miserable and insecure doesn't mean you can bring others down based on things they can't control
🐾 b-e-a-n-t-o-e-s Follow
oh so the cat-human separationist wants to preach to us
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dolene · 20 days
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GET BACK ON TRACK ; charles leclerc x reader
summary: after carlos's wedding announcement is everywhere and taking over your entire life, you decided to break the slump and getting back on track by moving on.
...★...
carlossainz55
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liked by yourusername and 5,523,925 others
carlossainz55 Carlos & Rebecca. 5.5.25
view all 8,510 comments
username fuck. yncarlos shipper we lose
username We've been losing since day one, there is no winning. Only losing 😔😔
username MY SUN????? MY MOON???? Okay what kind of torture are you guys gonna get me for this week
landonorris happy for you, mate!
yourusername Happy wedding to the beloved couple!! I wish you the best years of love and a great future together ever after 💗
username NO Y/N DON'T PRETEND
username i feel sick
danielricciardo Congratulations, and don't forget to spare the wine! 😄
alex_albon Lily and I wished you both a joyful wedding and a happy life! Don't forget about Lando, though.
username another day another cry (for y/n)
charles_leclerc Congratulations to the happy couple! Glad to be there and watch the sweet moments unveiled.
pierregasly The two of you were looking so sweet together. I hope I can make a good uncle in the future 😁🤣
carlossainz55 It's far still away from that and you're already thinking of that is insane
lewishamilton Happy wedding day to the couple.
username google, play no ordinary love by sade
yourusername
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yourusername Rats street avenue
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username oh she's serving
sabrinacarpenter WOOHOO GOOO GIRLL
username This is the face of a woman who LIED but still slayed
username pls get a bf that's gon be better than him
alexconsani My name is not Alex Albon, but you know who could Thai-you-down-tnite😏
alex_albon I would never do that though 😂😅
alexconsani Understandable. if I had your girlfriend, I would never cheat on her either
luisinhaoliveira99 I wish I met you when I was still in France
username She flew right away to France because she know she's the realest
username SHE TURNED EMO 💀💀
username the impact of losing him is real
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yourusername
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liked by charles_leclerc and 830,934
view all 948 comments
username No captions just a pure masterpiece
username after seeing charles liking this, my feelings said something so gossipy
username mother's slaying again
username funny how i remember yesterday's bangs are still short
username It's an extension btw
yslbeauty Stunning as usual ✨✨
gigihadid I miss Australia and the photo booth
charles_leclerc 🤪🤪
yourusername What are you even talking about
username What is this silly ass interaction
username since when did he even being serious
charles_leclerc added a photo to their story! · 2m
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TWITTER, 10 MINUTES AFTER:
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yourusername
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liked by scuderiaferrari and 428,695 others
yourusername Gossiping with my new friend
view all 368 comments
username Um is it gossiping about the whole thing with Charles?
username if it's real idk how to even react
username she literally said "i'll snatch your ex teammate"
chloe_stroll That red dressss 🫨🫨
username SHUT UP FERRARI LIKING
username girl it's over, she really going out with charles
username NOOOOOOOOOOOO 💔💔💔
yourusername added a photo to their story! · 10m
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yourusername
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liked by charles_leclerc and 875,116 others
yourusername Feelin’ good
view all 5 comments
username OH NAWW IT'S REAL
username at least she moved on... (jumping off a burj khalifa right after)
username idk if i have to be happy or be depressed rn. but anyway congratulations for the HARD launch last night, enjoying it sm 💀🫶
alexconsani Ooooo Charles's gfffff
alex_albon I'M SAAAAFFFEEEEEEE
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saetoru · 1 year
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tee you know what would he so funny and i keep thinking about? is if you were seen with one of the blue lock men’s friends or teammates, and then there’s a picture on the news like “y/n cheating on ___?” 💀 idk i just giggle into my hand at the idea
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✩ ‧₊˚ ✩。BLUE LOCK + RUMORS THAT YOU’RE DATING SOMEBODY ELSE
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✩ — characters ⋮ itoshi sae, mikage reo, shidou ryusei ✩ — contents ⋮ fluff, gn! reader, established relationships, rather pouty and salty boys <3 ✩ — notes ⋮ nauurr this is actually so cute so i decided to turn them into kind of short drabbles w a few boys <3
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✩ ‧₊˚ ✩。ITOSHI SAE.
sae stares at his screen and blinks. you fight back a grin as he rereads the title, trying not to let out a small giggle.
“itoshi sae bested by little brother in love,” he reads blankly, and you almost think he doesn’t care if not for the way his hand clutches his phone a little tighter.
“sae, it’s not our fault, okay?” you chuckle, shuffling closer on the bed, wrapping yourself around him, “the paparazzi just caught us off guard. you know how they twist things for the headlines.” he does know—but still, he eyes you from the side before scrolling along the article and staring at more pictures of you and rin walking out of the convenience store.
“you went with rin? really?” he grumbles, eyeing a picture of you both laughing as you walk out the store. why is it so easy for rin to laugh at your jokes? more importantly, why is it so easy for you to laugh at his?
“well technically you were supposed to go with me, but you were being grumpy,” you huff, looking at him with raised brows.
it’s rare for both the brothers to be at their old childhood home at the same time, they never really get vacations that overlap enough to visit their parents together—and it’s never really been a priority for either of them with such an…estranged relationship. but this year’s a rare stroke of luck, and sae’s mother insists he brings you along with him for the ‘full family effect.’
except he rarely leaves the room if not to go for his jog or the gym—and you’re tired of being cooped up indoors all day. so when he opts for staying in to rewatch a match when you practically beg him to go to the convenience store around the corner with you, and rin so graciously offers to walk with you to grab a few things himself—how could you decline?
“i wasn’t being grumpy,” he says bitterly, “i was busy. it’s different.”
“well, me and rin had a blast,” you tease, pointing at the pictures on his phone, “as you can see.”
“shut up,” he scowls, locking his phone and crossing his arms. it’s cute to see him like this—slightly jealous and petulant as he tries to shrug it off like he doesn’t care. you giggle, leaning to peck his cheek.
“so? how does it feel to have your brother steal the love of your life?”
“i don’t know,” he rolls his eyes, “seems to me like you came crawling right back to me in the end.”
“not taking it well, huh,” you say amused—and finally, he wraps a loose arm around your figure as you sprawl yourself on his chest, leaning up to kiss his jaw. “you know how you can win me back over? taking me to the store next time i ask.”
“oh trust me,” he says with a sour look on his face, making you snort as you poke his nose, “you’re not walking past that door without me next time.”
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✩ ‧₊˚ ✩。MIKAGE REO.
reo is distraught.
“look at these comments,” he cries, shoving his phone in your face.
“reo,” you try to fight back a giggle, reaching over to ruffle his hair affectionately as you try to soothe his crisis, “it’ll blow over, don���t worry. me and nagi were just getting snacks.”
“yeah but they’re completely trashing me,” he whines, eyes all but popping out of his sockets as he reads the comments on the twitter post, “‘you know you’re lame when even your money isn’t enough to keep someone?’ what does that even mean?”
“it means you’re losing your charm,” you tease, cackling when he throws you a soft glare from his spot on the couch. he’s scooches away from you, sitting on the opposite end as he holds up a hand.
“you stay on your half,” he huffs, “i don’t want to sit with a cheater.”
“i didn’t cheat!” you snort, “we went to get snacks for you too—”
“yeah and you forgot them,” he glares.
“i said sorry!”
“well, it doesn’t help,” he pouts as he turns back to his phone, glaring at his screen as he reads the way some of the comments are now claiming you and nagi are a cute couple. it makes his brows furrow as a vein all but pops in his forehead, making you bite your lip so as not to laugh and hurt your boyfriend’s already painfully bruised ego.
“baby, you know you’re the only guy for me,” you grin, shuffling over to his side of the couch, giggling as you cling to him while he tries to (gently) shove you off.
“i don’t know,” he grumbles, “clearly i’m not since you haven’t even defended me in these comments.”
“i’ll make sure to tell them your money still has all the appeal,” you grin, earning a sharp look from him as you throw your head back and laugh. “i’m kidding.”
“you’re not,” he mumbles, crossing his arms. he looks cute like this—makes your heart soar as you lean closer and cup his cheeks and press soft kisses along his face. and even as he tries to fight it, he can’t help but smile a little and lean into your touch.
“i’ll make sure to defend your honor in the comments,” you murmur, biting his cheek playfully. he turns, leans in for a peck to the lips as he sighs.
“you better,” he mutters, “these people are ruthless.”
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✩ ‧₊˚ ✩。SHIDOU RYUSEI.
shidou is a nightmare if you’ve ever met one—makes your life increasingly difficult because how dare someone write an article that hints that what’s his could be anyone else’s?
“what do you want for dinner?” you ask, sighing as he shrugs.
“oh, i don’t know,” he grins condescendingly, “why don’t you let your other boyfriend decide?”
“ryusei—”
“if i see him, he’s gonna be one with the concrete, i’ll tell you that.”
“don’t even think about getting into trouble. that’s your teammate,” you pinch your nose, trying to be the one and only voice of reason there evidently is, “we just saw each other at the store and said hi—”
“why did he need to say hi?” he growls, crossing his arms as he stares at his screen again, eyeing the title of the article that’s single handedly spoiled your afternoon with a moody boyfriend in your hands. “i should teach him a lesson—”
“you should do no such thing—”
“you know what? i don’t even care,” he says suddenly, and there’s too much of a wicked grin on his face for you to feel at ease about his sudden turn of mood.
“ryusei.” your voice comes out as a warning, but he pays it mind.
“yeah, babe?” he says sweetly, scrolling through his phone and making your stomach churn as you walk over.
“what are you—” and then there’s a buzz of your phone, cutting you off as you hesitantly glance at it in your hand, noticing the mention you have from him. “what did you do?” you narrow your eyes.
“nothing,” he shrugs, “just cleared the air.”
and if you were unsettled before, you’re certainly concerned now because shidou ryusei taking matters into his own hands can only mean a headache for you and serious damage control for his team. you groan, rubbing your temple as you prepare yourself for the worst case scenario.
“what could you possibly—are you kidding me, ryusei? are you out of your mind?” you stare at the picture he’s posted, one of him practically sucking your face off in the middle of god knows where—when did he even get this picture? and who took it? but as quickly as the questions pop into your head, you decide just as fast that you don’t even want to know.
“that’ll teach ‘em,” he grins darkly, and he has the audacity to look proud of himself, earning himself a harsh glare from you. he only snickers, grabs you by the wrist and tugs you onto his lap on the couch. “wanna recreate the picture?” he grins widely.
“no i want to delete the picture,” you grumble.
“not an option,” he says smugly, and then his lips are on yours—and even if he’s shaved ten years off your life, you think it’s at least a good thing that he’s back to his usual self.
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i want to have a lil salty sae in my bed immediately.
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blue-jisungs · 1 year
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so i had a request but i feel like it's kinda dumb....how would stray kids react to you meeting and getting along with their siblings.
like chan has hannah and lucas, changbin's older sister, han's older brother, felix's sisters racheal and olivia, seungmin's older sister and jeongin and his two brothers
but then it would leave out lee know and hyunjin
soooooooooo
getting along with their siblings/pets ♡
a/n. i’m so sorry you had to wait for so long i remember when you even dmd me about it😭😭😭 i’m so so sorry!! hope you enjoy it though <3
also ywah, i didn’t want to leave out those who don’t have siblings so i just put their pets because well, they are family too <3
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┆彡 CHAN [ 찬 ]
hannah. she’s an icon, she’s an legend and she IS the moment
tbh you just clicked the moment you met and chan knew he’s screwed
because she dragged you to her room and you barely left it because YOU WERE GOSSIPING WITH HER
she told you his embarrassing childhood stories and you swore they almost got into a fight over you (#siblingthings)
but he caught you two filming some tiktoks and his heart melted
like okay she’s his younger sister of course she’s a pain in the ass but he was relieved to see that you’re getting along well
maybe a little too well, even
and hannah likes you to this point that she threatened him that if you ever break up she’s blocking him everywhere??
and when it comes to lucas idrk him
but i feel like he’d get along with you well too
bc you know, to tease his brother as well teehee
but also you’re just so funny like that and he actually likes hanging out with you :”)
┆彡 MINHO [ 민호 ]
he doesn’t have siblings but he has cats 🙏
and he was kind of anxious if they’re going to like you bc then he’d be torn who to choose… you… or cats…
so when you first step into his parents place and dori, soonie and doongie sprinted towards him, he’s frozen
they are slowly sniffing you too, you’re looking at him frightened
then they just go to kitchen bc they’re hungry lol 😭
but once the oldest sniffs you and even sits on your lap, the others accept you as a part of their lil family
and minho is just standing there, heart jumping out of his chest and he’s this close 🤏 from running to grab a camera
bc he’s just so in love :(
however you stumbled upon some relationship problems with soonie 💔
worry not! minho is here to get you two on friendly terms again💪
will show you where are his fav petting spots and will even let you feed him extra feeds
he wants you to be friends again, okay? he can bend some feeding rules for such critical situations
spoiler alert: you are on good terms with soonie after this (minho teases that it’s the extra snacks but deep down he believes that soonie knows how important you are to him)
┆彡 CHANGBIN [ 창빈 ]
bare with me because i don’t know NOTHING about his sister, even her name 💀
but i feel like changbin would be kinda anxious. will she like you? will you like her?
he just knows this and that about girls’ friendships and he really hopes you two will get along well
esp that she’s older
turns out you get along well. too well.
teasing changbin really made it easier for you two
he’d be like “how are my two fav people in the world doing–?”
“sup gimli”
and he doesn’t even question how you came up with that since currently you and his sister are rolling on the floor rn
but he’d really melt if he saw you napping together on a couch after an all nighter…
…or whenever he’d catch his sister pulling a blanket over you when you fall asleep on your desk bc you were studying all night :(
(even though he teases her later about it bc it’s “his job as your bf”)
┆彡 HYUNJIN [ 현진 ]
another siblingless person but he’s a dad at least!!?
same story as lino’s🤓
he’d really want kkami to like you :(
he’d look up in google something like “wiki how to make my dog like my gf”
🧍‍♀️
tbh kkami loved you the second you walked in
hyunjin walked into the room and went “aww give me a kiss i missed you sm!!”
but kkami ran straight to you, sniffling all over and waving his tail
hyunjin let out a dramatic gasp as he licked all over your face, tail swooshing like crazy
you bet he will be all pouty when kkami crawls up and cuddles or naps in your lap, not his
but honestly he’s glad he likes you :”)
he sometimes has troubles falling asleep when you’re laying in bed together and kkami is sleeping in between your legs… BCS ITS SO DAMM CUTE AND DOMESTIC AND HE WANTS TO BITE HIS FIST TO PREVENT HIMSELF FROM SCREAMING!!!
┆彡 JISUNG [ 지성 ]
another one that we don’t know much of
anxious pt 2
he’s scared 1) if he’s gonna like you 2) if you’re going to like him 3) if he’s not gonna act weird
and well, honestly speaking your beginnings weren’t too… joyful
it was awkward as hell
han wanted to run away
but then you were like “uh so i heard you were the reason why han stopped believing in santa–?”
and boom
suddenly you know more about jisung thank you thought you did
for example (now hold your breath i am being dead serious) you got to see with your own eyes. one of the last evidence. relicts even. that han jisung is not, in fact, an alien that spawned at the age of 13.
mhm, that’s right.
his brother had a picture of baby han and you just laughed your ass off because how silly he looked
and han, who was standing literally next to you, was just 🧍‍♀️
anyways jisung kind of regretted introducing you to him anyways
┆彡 YONGBOK [ 용복 ]
i’m… how do i say this…
felix honestly knew that his sisters will like you. duh, love you
so it was just a matter of meeting them
but he did not expect them to just… kind of act like you knew each other since birth
(the truth was olivia reached to you through tiktok and then created a gc with you and rachel… like three years before you actually met in australia)
(AND felix did not know shit about it)
so you can just imagine how flabbergasted he was when the girls saw you and literally flew to hug you
“olivia, rachel this is–“
“we know, now go away we have an urgent matter to discuss” his younger sister shooed him away, leaving felix speechless as you giggled and waved at him
mans didn’t see you for DAYS like :”) they kinda kidnapped you and you spent time with them and lemme tell you… it was so fun 😭
“i’m kinda jealous… give me y/n back?!” felix laughed once, grabbing your left wrist
“no, she’s ours!! 🥹” rachel huffed grabbing your right wrist
good luck solving that.
┆彡 SEUNGMIN [ 승민 ]
tbh he doesn’t care?? like he’s aware that some people tend to like each other, some not
so it would be natural if you didn’t get along with his sis, he’d understand that
but - unfortunately for him - you did get along
okay it was a bit awkward at first
she’s like “what’s your interest in my brother 😐”
and while you’re SWEATING trying to explain you’re his gf and just madly in love and just simply explaining how you have no bad intentions
seungmin is loving it, laughing his ass off
bug then suddenly his sister is like
“if he ever makes you cry just call me, okay? i’ll take care of him ☺️☺️☺️”
oh how the turn tables, now you’re the one laughing
his sister would be really kind and love to hang out with you
“you’re like the younger sibling i never had!” once was what she said and seungmo just deadpanned, glaring daggers at u
also his sis would demand random selfies of you two and then send one of her back, it became your little habit
she’ll sometimes still act cold to keep her “older sis” posture but she really has a soft spot for you
┆彡 JEONGIN [ 정인 ]
good luck, that’s all i’m gonna say
he has two brothers.
prepare for chaos because they are SO hyped he has a gf
and it’s their goal to embarrass the shit out of him
so jeongin brings you to a family dinner, it’s all fun until his younger brother offers you go on a walk with them
and i.n is just??
the second his parents aren’t in sight anymore, they bombard you with questions and fun facts abt him
“he snores so loudly doesn’t he?” “did you know he leaves his dirty clothes on the floor? like all the time?” “i bet he picks his nose when you don’t look–“
ans jeongin is just jumping at them like!??!
but you reassure them he’s actually not that bad 🙄
and later on when you come back from the walk, you’re playing mario kart and just having fun time
and your boyfriend just sits there like 😄 because he’s so happy they liked you
and oh boy, they treat you like you’re their BRO
that pisses him off a bit like 🙄
“have some respect for my gf” “she’s literally one of us what do you mean”
and you’re just there, having an all nighter with all of them while having games
they feel comfortable with you and that’s what makes jeongin forgive the…. uncultured behaviour… 👍
(“stop burping there’s a lady!” “lady my ass, i’m better than you at fifa–!”)
[ masterlist <3 ]
taglist. @geniejunn ,, @luvhyun3 ,, @starlostseungmin ,, @elviransworld ,, @jnks6r ,, @sieunsgf ,, @ethereallino ,, @laylasbunbunny ,, @duolingofanaccount ,, @slytherinhobi ,, @jung0ne ,, @ka-ni-ma ,, @iliveforlixie ,, @moonacholy ,, @ameliesaysshoo ,, @dazzlingligth ,, @mark-geolli ,, @l3visbby ,, @w3bqrl ,, @ddenoudepression ,, @yourfavoritefreakyhan ,, @cinnamoroxie ,, @gyudiarys
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nickfowlerrr · 9 months
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i never thought you’d happen to me - 1
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part two / part three
pairing: bucky barnes x curvy!reader
warnings: 18+ only. smut (part two), fluff, bit of angst. time travel via magic. dad!bucky and mom!reader. steve x nat. some morally dubious homemade porn viewing 💀 (part two). if i’m missing anything that should be tagged, please lmk!
words: just a bit over 6k.
notes: this idea came from a prompt post i saw not too long ago and coincidentally fell into some bingo spots for my @the-slumberparty bingo card.
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fair warning: this is so completely self indulgent and a little trope overload lol but i had such a good time working on it and it was fun to write so who really cares 😌 thank you in advance for reading and reblogging! as always, comments and reblogs are more than welcome and so appreciated. please let me know what you think! 🥰
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It’s another late Friday night as you and the team lounge around the common room, nearly empty takeout containers scattered around the table, glasses and bottles of your drinks much the same. There’s a movie no one is watching playing on the large screen as the current conversation around you continues.
You’re not sure how telling a story from your last mission with Bucky has turned into this once again, but here you are. Another cute remark from Sam about his expectancy to be in the wedding party earns him another glare from you.
“Hey, you side-eye now but in ten years you’ll look back and realize how right we all were,” he says, elbowing Bucky slightly. “Tinman by your side,” he adds with a grin - clearly amused with himself.
“That is not my future,” you say with a humorless chortle.
“I can show you your future,” Wanda speaks from her spot on the couch, everyone turning their heads at once to look at her. She’s been unusually quiet the past few minutes - not engaging much in the conversation as she observed it instead. She takes another sip of her wine as she meets your gaze, foot swinging lazily as she keeps one leg crossed over the other.
She tilts her head at you while you eye her with a raised brow, a look of incredulity on your face.
“What?” she questions, confused at not only yours, but everyone’s, lack of response.
“Come on,” you laugh lightly, brushing her off.
“I’m serious.”
“Wanda, I don’t need to see what my future looks like to know that Bucky will be playing no part in it.”
A round of scoffs, snickers and a groan erupt from around the living room as you roll your eyes. You catch Bucky, seated across from you, doing the same as you turn your face.
“You’re all very funny, and I’m glad you’re amused with yourselves, but I can’t sit here and listen to the same inane conversation over again, soooo,” you pause for a breath, “I’m going to bed,” you clap as you stand from your spot on the couch.
“Look, I don’t speak for everyone, but I am not joking in the slightest,” Kate laughs as she leans back into her seat. Aiming finger guns at you and Bucky, “You guys,” she says, “are endgame.”
“And you, my friend, are drunk.”
Another round of laughs before the previous chatter resumes among the group, a story of misadventure now being told from Parker’s perspective, and you can hear Stark’s interjections already.
You grab your empty glass and head to the kitchen, Wanda following shortly after you.
“You’re stubborn,” she says with no preamble.
You turn with a quirked brow, “Am I?”
“Very. So much so, I think I may need your permission.”
“Sorry...uhm, for?” you ask, clearly confused.
“I think you should see it.” Your face falls slack at her words as you turn back to finish washing out your glass.
“Wanda, -” you go to laugh again.
“No, actually,” she stops you, correcting herself, “you need to see it. You’re stunting yourself. You’re constantly getting in your own way. I think it’d be good for you, to see what you can have if you finally allow it to come to you.”
You're quieted by her sincerity for a moment, half because you weren’t taking any of the previous conversation seriously, and half because you didn’t think it was something she was actually capable of doing. In fact, you still didn’t. But if she wanted to try, who were you to argue.
“Uhhh,” you begin, shaking your head lightly, “I mean, if you really want to, then, go for it, I guess. You have my permission.”
“Good,” she smiles, turning to walk back out to the other’s.
“Wow, wait,” you stop her, “like, what exactly are you gonna do?”
“Just a swap,” she says simply. “A day in the life of your future self. You don’t have to do anything, just go to sleep tonight and you’ll see.”
Your eyes narrow in thought, “...This isn’t dangerous, right?”
“No, not at all. You guys will be fine. 24 hours and you’ll wake up in your own beds, safe and sound. I promise.”
She smiles and flits away quickly. You shake your head at yourself again, still unsure what exactly you’ve agreed to. And it isn’t until you’re walking down the hallway back to your room that what she said actually catches up to you.
You guys will be fine?
You stop walking when you hear footsteps behind you, glancing back to find Bucky coming down the hall. You swallow hard and turn back around, not far from your door.
“Stalker much?” you say without facing him, earning a scoff in return.
He’s barely a step behind you now, though his sudden proximity is not all that surprising. You’ve grown used to his stealth.
“In your dreams.”
“More like waking nightmares. Every time I turn around it’s like you’re always just right there.”
“Maybe if you didn’t put yourself into jeopardy every five minutes I wouldn’t have to shadow you so often.”
You’re walking side by side and you get to your door as he speaks. You turn on him, instantly irritated.
“Are you being serious?” you level at him. He doesn’t respond. “How are you still hung up on Belarus? It was one mission. That was not on me, I didn’t fuck up. No one else saw them coming, either,”
“I did.”
“Well, sorry I’m not as infallible as the one and only Bucky Barnes,” you speak exaggeratedly, annoyance clear in your tone. “You still act like I’m some kind of liability. I’ve been careful. I’m riding a lengthy no injury streak and we’ve still yet to fail a single mission. After how many assignments we’ve been on together, you think you’d start taking me more seriously.”
“I never said I didn’t take you seriously. Just think sometimes you’re still a little too cocky for your own good.”
“For the thousandth time, I’m not clueless, Barnes. I don’t need you monitoring my every move. Not during training, not on missions, and definitely not walking down a hallway at night. I think I can handle getting to my room alone. Or is assuming that too cocky of me?” you ask with a tilt of your head, sarcasm dripping off your tongue.
You don’t wait for a response before you turn to your door and let yourself in, snapping it shut behind you.
You flick on the light and are quickly greeted by a room that is… definitely not yours. You pause for a second, taking in your surroundings before you deflate with a sigh, following it up with a deep breath. You turn the light back off and then turn back around to the door. You wait for a second longer with your hand on the handle before you force yourself to exit the room.
Just like you knew he would be, Bucky is still standing right where you left him; a stupid smirk on his stupidly handsome face.
“Wrong room,” he says.
“Fuck off,” you grumble as you walk a little further down the hall, to your actual door.
“Goodnight to you, too,” Bucky says as he continues to his own room, not far from you. You send him a glare and a “hmph” before shutting your door and getting ready for bed.
You’re not helpless. You’re not clueless. You’re damn good at what you do. But fuck if Bucky doesn’t have a knack for knocking you off kilter with a single look.
—-
It’s a soft shaking that wakes you from your peaceful sleep. You’re so comfortable, you don’t want to move - you don’t even want to blink open your eyes. But the shaking comes again. Your brows furrow as your arms tighten around your pillow and you cuddle further into it.
Only it’s not your pillow.
It takes a second for you to process that instead, it’s a warm body you’re pressing yourself against before your eyes snap open.
You look up and find a confused Bucky staring down at you.
When your eyes meet, though, there’s a bit of softness there. And as you take in his face, you relax a bit again. His presence beside you is at once comforting as it is confounding.
“What are you doing?” you both ask at the same time - only furthering your confusion.
You suddenly realize you’re still wrapped around him and quickly sit up and give him space.
“Why are you in my bed?” you ask as you rub your eyes with the palms of your hands.
“I was gonna ask you the same thing,” he says as he looks around, “but I don’t think we’re at the tower.”
You look up and blink away the fuzziness. Then it hits you.
“Oh shit,” you murmur.
“What? You know where we are?” he asks as he stands and starts looking around, inspecting the room. “Better yet, how the hell we got here?”
“Maybe…Would you believe me if I said we might possibly be in the future?”
Bucky turns and looks at you incredulously.
“Wanda,” you speak at the same time.
“For fuck’s sake,” he says as he runs a hand over his face.
“In my defense,” you begin, “when I agreed to this, I didn’t think she’d be able to do it. I also didn’t think it’d involve anyone else..”
“What do you mean you agreed to this? What is this?”
“She said I needed to see the future. It’d be good for me, or whatever, so I said okay. She said it was uh, a future swap? 24 hours. Day in the life and then I’d wake up back in my own bed the next day.”
“And you agreed to it?”
“Fuckin’, yeah, obviously,” you huff. “I didn’t think it’d be.. Real? I don’t know.”
“So, so what? We’re stuck in some unknown future for the next 24 hours?”
“What part of ‘I don’t know’ do you not understand?”
“Why would you agree to something like this without fully knowing what it is you’re agreeing to? This is exactly what I’m talking about when I say-”
“Spare me, Barnes. It’s Wanda, okay? We’re fine. It’s 24 hours, and I’m assuming that clock started when we fell asleep last night, so really it’s only…,” your voice dies down as you look to the clock on the bedside table. The time isn’t what catches your eye, though.
No.
It’s the framed photo behind it that derails your train of thought.
“No fucking way,” you breathe as you grab it in disbelief.
You stare at the photo of you and Bucky, a close up of you in a sweet embrace, adorning soft smiles as you share a chaste kiss, your left hand touching his cheek, and what you can only assume is a wedding ring sitting pretty on your finger.
This has to be some kind of dream. That’s it. You’re dreaming. Duh. Your hand moves before your mind does and you slap yourself in your face as hard as you can manage, sure it’ll wake you up and you’ll be back in the tower, in your own bed, alone.
“What the fuck?!” Bucky exclaims in surprise as you wince slightly and hold your cheek as it stings. He walks over to you, becoming more tentative as you look up at him.
“‘M not dreaming. Are you?”
“No, I’m wide awake, believe me,” he says as he gets closer. “Don’t slap me, either.”
You eye him harshly before handing him the frame.
“Well, it.. Explains why you’re here, at least,” you say, voice quieter than you intended as your thoughts were still reeling. “We’re not just in my future, we’re in-”
“Our future,” he finishes as he stares at the photo himself.
“Yeah.”
“So, our room…” he says more to himself than to you. He makes his way around the room, pulling open drawers and looking in the closet as you stand and head for the bathroom.
You meet yourself in the mirror, sure enough, you still look the same. You’re you.
Walking back out into the room, you head for the window, pulling back the curtain. As you peer out, you’re expecting to see a skyline, or city street, but instead you’re met with the view of an open yard.
You pull away from the window in surprise, “Are we in a house?”
You turn to Bucky, who turns to face you. You both head to the bedroom door, you following behind him as he takes the lead.
It’s a house. Definitely a house.
The bedroom door leads to a long hallway, three doors along the right back wall, another door at the far end opposite your own, and to the left of that, on the left wall, is another room.
In the middle of the hallway is an opening, and you and Bucky turn there without inspecting any of the other rooms.
You find yourselves in a living room, before walking into the kitchen.
“We should look around,” you say in a whisper - why, you aren’t sure.
“What exactly are you planning on finding?” he questions as you pull open a drawer, sifting around.
“I don’t know? More information. Like what we’re doing here. What we do. What year it is. Maybe we learn something and it’ll send us home sooner? I don’t know, just, something,” you answer, on edge already by being surrounded by the unknown and only growing more agitated at his every word.
“Why are you getting mad at me?”
“I’m not getting-,” you stop yourself, taking a breath, “sorry. Okay? I thought you were trying to be a dick,”
“Why do you assume I’m being a dick?” he asks, annoyed himself now.
"Because you always act like a fucking dick!", you nearly yell as you slam the kitchen drawer shut.
"Fucking dick!"
You both freeze at the high, sweet-sounding voice that comes from behind you. Your brows furrow as you glance at Bucky, his reaction to the mirthful echo much the same as yours, before you both slowly turn around.
The sight you're met with has you both frozen in shock.
A set of twin toddlers clad in matching pajamas, both of whom bear a striking resemblance to you and Bucky, are staring at you both.
You can't explain why, but your heart is gripped by the mere sight of them. It's something more than just their cuteness, it's something instinctual. How it's possible, you're not sure, but you know, somehow, that they're really yours. Future or not, those are absolutely your kids.
It seems with each passing moment, you and Bucky are left more and more stunned by how your future is turning out, but as you notice the little boy's eyes watering and the pout on his little lips as he looks right at you, you can't seem to care about anything else.
“Hey, buddy,” you squat down and hold your arms open for him, and he waddles to you right away as his eyes well more and more. He hugs you, still pouting as he cuddles into your chest and you hold him tightly as you stand, exchanging another glance with Bucky who looks nearly stupefied until the soft voice of the girl rings out once again.
Your eyes shoot to her as she twirls around clumsily, a chant of "fucking dick" leaving her lips over and over before she starts to tilt, seemingly having made herself dizzy. You're about to gasp, moving forward instinctually as you watch her wobble a bit more, but she's in Bucky's arms in an instant as he grabs her before she falls.
"Woah, there, sweetheart," he says with a small laugh as she dramatically goes limp in his arms. An exhausted breath leaves her little lungs as she breathes out the repetition one final time. She then lifts her tiny hand up to Bucky’s cheek, effectively slapping him as she plants it, blinking up at him. “What’s this?” she asks him curiously as she smooshes his face, feeling his stubble.
“Uhh…It’s hair. I haven’t shaved - Ow,” he exaggerates when she interrupts him and pats his cheek again, a bit harder this time, though you know it didn’t hurt him in the slightest. It makes the girl laugh, though.
“You should shave, Daddy,” she advises, pulling a face.
Her words pull a breathless laugh from him as he gazes down at the small girl, a lump forming in his throat as he takes everything in. He feels crazy, but he can see you in her, and he can see himself, too. Her and her brother, they both look like the perfect little combinations of the two of you. And they’re both so comfortable with you guys. So at ease and uninhibited, just like children should be..
It’s a stark contrast to how he grew up and he can’t help but feel a sense of accomplishment, of pride, knowing that he isn’t repeating the cycle he swore would die with him.
He’d stopped letting his mind wander to what if futures long ago, but when he did imagine what it’d be like to have a family of his own, this is the kind of peace he longed for. The happy, settled down future he was sure he’d never have.
And you.
Your hand has been mindlessly rubbing the boy's back in an effort to comfort him as he cuddles into you, that never faltering pout pulling every string your heart has as Bucky attends to the girl relaxing in his arms.
"Linc's sad, Mommy," the girl says, pointing at her brother. The title has you swallowing hard, your heart clenching at how sweetly she calls to you.
Linc?... Must've been Bucky, you think briefly before you gently pull him away from you slightly so you can see him better, his bleary blue eyes peering up at you.
"Why are you yelling at Daddy?" he pouts still. Your brows furrow and mouth parts on an inhale, as if you're going to answer him, but nothing comes out as you try and think of what you can say. His innocent question stumping you.
"It's alright, pal, we were just kiddin' around," Bucky offers as he gets closer to you both. You look at him, a bit guilty but thankful for the save.
"Can we have pancakes, Daddy?" the girl asks as she wriggles around like a worm in his hold.
"Pancakes! Please!" Linc smiles as he continues hanging onto you, seemingly happy with Bucky's defense of you - any qualms he had long forgotten as he’s now focused on the mention of pancakes for breakfast.
"Sure," you answer for him, acquiescing easily with a smile before looking to Bucky with wide eyes.
You’re not entirely sure how exactly this all happens, but somehow you end up married with two kids. As shocking as it is, and as confused as you are about how, a part of you is grateful - maybe even happy - that Bucky is here. He may be an ass a lot of the time, overbearing and micromanaging your every move, but you guys have been through hell and back together. Partners from the very start of your time as an Avenger. If you’re being honest, this future makes more sense than you previously wanted to admit.
In an attempt to not freak out the twins, you know you have to play the part. Act like nothing is out of the ordinary and that you are indeed their mom. You are, technically, but you don’t have any idea what the hell you’re doing or what’s wholly needed of you. You’ve nannyed before, though. You know the basics..
"Have we brushed our teeth yet?" you ask the twins, sure the answer is a "no". Your and Bucky's arguing clearly is what woke them up, the yelling must have led them out here from their room.. Rooms?
"Mhm," the girl hums, though just from looking at her, the lie is evident as she avoids looking directly at you.
"Don't lie, Ellie," her brother chastises.
Ellie.. That must've been me, you think with a twitch of a smile before you set Linc down.
"Alright, go with Buc- your dad, and I'll start on the pancakes," you instruct before the twins burst out in giggles. You frown, brows furrowing as you watch them, hoping they'll let you know what exactly is so funny.
"No, we want daddy's pancakes, Mommy!"
"With chocolate chips and syrup!"
"Yeah, they want Daddy's pancakes, Mommy," Bucky taunts with a smirk as you shoot him an annoyed look. He seems a lot more comfortable now than he was a few minutes ago, and you can’t help but notice how easily he seems to be taking this; easing into his role in this place and time. He’s good.
"What's wrong with my pancakes?" you press the toddlers.
"Daddy's are better, but it's okay, your grilled cheese is the best,"
"Yeah! Oh, can we have grilled cheese for lunch, Mommy? Please, please, pleeease," Ellie begs cutely, leaning to you while still in Bucky's hold.
You huff a laugh, agreeing as Bucky sets Ellie down to follow you.
"See if you can find anything," you tell him as you meet his eye before following after the tikes pulling on your hands.
"Don't forget the chocolate, Daddy!"
Bucky watches as you're led to the bathroom before he starts moving around the kitchen. He's about to start looking around for more information on when exactly you are, and the kind of life you’re living, but thinks better of it for now. He'd rather not have two toddlers throw a fit over unfinished pancakes on top of everything else he's trying to wrap his head around at the moment.
He finds the pantry and grabs all the ingredients he needs for his mom's pancake recipe - the one he knows by heart- and gets to work on the batter. The chatter from the kids and you in the bathroom floats into the kitchen and he can’t help but smile at the sound of your voice as you talk to them.
He soon loses himself in the simplicity of the task at hand, and how nice it is to be here like this. He's in pajamas on a Saturday morning, making breakfast for his family as they start their day..
Seems entirely unreal, but a dream nonetheless. And as if that wasn’t enough to have his thoughts in a flurry, he still can't shake the feeling of how nice it was waking up with your soft body pressed against his. Opening his eyes to discover the warmth beside him was you. He was confused at first, wondering when and how you’d gotten into his room, but more so concerned about the why. He watched you for a minute before he noticed the bedding draped over the both of you. It wasn’t his and when he looked around the room, he realized he had no idea where you guys were. You were wrapped around him as you laid together in the comfy king bed, and it took him a second to try to wake you up. He knew he had to, of course, but if he was honest, he didn’t want the feeling to end. Your hold on him was comforting and he was completely at ease in your embrace, circumstances be damned. It was a feeling he hadn't felt in ages.
Though, that wasn’t entirely true. He remembers the last time he felt that way, and of course it was with you. You were stuck in a shoddy motel off the highway during a storm, the crappy jeep you’d been traveling in finally gave out half way through your drive back to the compound and you guys had no choice but to crash for the night. Of course the motel only had one singular room available with one singular bed. After some back and forth, you both decided you’d just share. It was big enough for the two of you, with space in between. When Bucky woke up that next morning, though, he found himself holding you tightly from behind, your arms wrapped over his as you slept peacefully in his embrace. He remembers the heat that crept up his neck and the flurry in his stomach that he still refuses to acknowledge as butterflies. He quickly loosened his hold and slipped away from you before you could even bat an eye. You were still none the wiser. He thought about that morning a lot after it happened.
He wondered what would’ve happened if you had woken up, too. What you would’ve said, what he could’ve said to you if he’d finally gotten out of his own way..
He can’t dwell on it anymore, though. He hasn’t. He won’t.
Except maybe he does.
And seeing as this is your future together, he thinks maybe that’s not as hopelessly embarrassing as he’s made himself believe it is.
And god, the sight of those kids. The warmth that bloomed in his chest as he took in their faces, he honestly was worried he would start crying if he stared too long. He had long given up on the idea of starting a family, he didn't think this life would ever be in the cards for him, and especially not with you.
But as he stood pouring chocolate chip pancake batter into a sizzling pan, he was struck by how right it felt.
Obviously, it wasn't right, neither of you should be here right now, and it made him wonder where exactly the future you and him were.
As soon as the thought went through his head, a tablet he hadn’t taken notice of on the back counter dinged.
He flipped the pancakes before he went to get the pad, taking the tablet in his hands. His face unlocked the device easily and opened up to his email account.
He clicked on the new, unread message from.. you?
—-
Hey Bucky.
Wanda says this is unnecessary but if I know me, I’m still probably freaking out internally. So, just letting you know that everything's fine. Or so she says.
We're gonna be back to our respective places in time come tomorrow.
I know waking up in the future - especially our future - may be hard to wrap your heads around, but it’s a hell of a lot better than waking up alone to a preening Wanda staring at you, trust me.
And you guys aren’t as oblivious as you try to be. You know, deep down, exactly why you’re there. Together. - and why it isn’t all that crazy.
And this goes without saying, but obviously, take care of the kids. Eleanor and Lincoln. If you haven’t found them yet, they’ll find you, I’m sure.
Today at 2pm, you need to drop them off at 7314 Wisteria Drive. That's Steve and Nat's house - so don't make it weird. They're keeping the kids so we can celebrate our anniversary.
Funny how that lines up..
So, anyway, apparently all we need to do on both ends is enjoy the 24 hour downtime. We’ll be waking up in our own beds before we know it.
Okay.
Bye.
(I’d say I love you but I don’t wanna freak you out. x)
Bucky just stares down at the email blankly while his brain tries to catch up. He's gonna have to have you read it yourself. Before he can fixate on that last line in particular, he can smell the browning of the pancakes.
His attention quickly returns to the food as he starts to plate it, shutting off the burner. The kiddie plates he finds in a cabinet earn a half smile from him as he cuts up the pancakes for the kids and spots their booster seats, placing the plates before them.
He hears them before he sees them as they come down the hallway, all laughs.
You appear just after they do, a look on your face he can't turn away from. Your soft smile and the adoration swimming in your eyes as you watch your kids, both of them waiting to be lifted up to sit down, is.. beautiful.
He catches himself staring before he turns his focus back to the table, lifting Eleanor into her seat before lifting Lincoln in his, earning a "thank you, daddy," from each of them in return, a wave of astonishment and pride coming over him yet again. He’s not sure if he’ll ever get used to that.
You listen as they talk back and forth about their pancakes and their laughter when they start playing with one another as they eat their lightly syruped bites.
You stand by Bucky, absentmindedly grabbing a pancake and biting into it, stopping almost immediately as the fluffiness catches you off guard. God, they were so right. These are amazing.
"Good, right?" Bucky's voice pulls you back as you swallow your bite.
You lick your lip before looking over at him. "Did you find anything?"
He hands you the tablet and watches as you read the email.
You click your tongue, and then stay silent for a minute.
He almost can’t believe it when you do it, looking at you incredulously once again after you suddenly slap yourself in the face once more.
"What the fuck are you doing?" he bites quietly, moving to stand in front of you and blocking your view of the kids momentarily.
"Just had to make sure," you reply, again cringing at the stinging of your cheek. You eye him before making a move to slap him, too, but he grabs your hand before you can make contact. He looks at you like you're insane as you huff again. "So this is..."
"This is real," he finishes for you. "That hard to believe, huh?"
"That's an understatement. So, I’m not dreaming. But are you sure you’re not dreaming?"
“You think my dreams involve waking up in the future with no memory of what’s gone on between me going to sleep to waking up? That’s a literal nightmare for me. Plus, I learned a while ago how to differentiate between my dreams and reality. Trust me, we’re not dreaming.”
You swallow thickly, an apology on the tip of your tongue. You hadn’t considered that before. Before you can voice your thoughts, though, you're distracted by the interaction between the kids at the table.
"Linc, I'll give you a piece and then you give me one of your piece, okay?"
"You take this one," Linc says as he gives his sister a piece off of his plate and she gives him a piece off of her's.
You can't help but chuckle at the exchange.
"We make cute kids, though," Bucky says, almost under his breath. But you still hear him, and you respond before your brain catches your tongue.
"Yeah, we do."
You push off the counter as Bucky watches you, surprised that you heard him and even more so by your agreement, though it'd be impossible for anyone to argue that your kids aren’t, in fact, ridiculously adorable.
"Do you guys want -"
"Orange juice, please!" Ellie answers before you even finish asking.
"And water, please," Linc follows.
"OJ and water, you got it."
----
You and Bucky get the kids ready to go to Steve and Nat's with minimal arguing... until you had to pack their bags.
What they should or shouldn't take with them was a point of contention as you ridiculed each other's choices. After your bickering and some input from Ellie and Linc, you guys just hoped they had everything they needed. You'd unnecessarily packed them three outfits each just in case of spills or messes and their diaper bag was loaded full, too. Maybe too much for one day, but better safe than sorry, right?
After loading the twins in the car, Bucky followed the GPS to the address you'd left in the email.
When you guys pulled up to the house, you were greeted by Natasha who was unloading groceries from her car. The domestic scene warmed your heart. She deserved the simplicity, the normalcy, and you were happy to know that one day, she’d have it.
She lit up as she saw you guys approaching and came right over, going straight for the back door.
Linc and Ellie were all smiles and giggles as they tried fruitlessly to escape their car seats in favor of being in Nat's arms.
"Bugs!!" Nat greeted them with an enthusiastic smile as she started working on their belts. "I've missed you guys so much! How long has it been? Ten years?"
They laughed in unison at her before Ellie corrected her. "Yesterday, Aunt Nattie!"
"Yesterday?" she questioned in faux disbelief.
She wasn't able to keep up the play, though as the second they were out of their seats, they nearly tackled her.
You watched Steve come outside, coming up to the car with a grin, a girl no more than ten and another toddler, maybe a little older than the twins, in tow.
"Get them inside for me, honey," Nat said to the oldest one. She looked nothing like either of them, dark hair and dark eyes, but still it was clear she was their daughter. The younger one looked like Steve, though, and you wonder briefly if that was just by chance or if they’d had a surrogate. Natasha had talked about the possibility before, and of adopting, but starting a family wasn’t something any of you were actually considering at the time, settling down and having kids wasn't really your focus when you were all trying to make sure the world wouldn’t be ending tomorrow. "We'll be right in. And pick a movie for the sleepover before your Dad does," she pretended to whisper, earning a laugh from the girl as she corralled the kids up the porch.
Nat turned her gaze back on you and Bucky, her stare nothing less than scrutinizing.
"Are you guys in pajamas?" she asked with a raised brow.
"Mh, uh, yeah," you laughed a little breathlessly before looking back at the house, distracted. "They didn't even say bye," you said in your disappointment. You'd only just met the kids, but you felt so instantly connected to them.
"Don't worry about them, they're gonna have fun tonight. And so are you two," she says pointedly, if not a bit suggestively, pulling you from your thoughts. You feel the heat that creeps up your skin and refuse to look at Bucky.
"What are you guys doin' tonight, did you decide?" Steve asks.
"Staying in," Bucky blurts out as you blink and smile. But their faces at that, their smirks of acknowledgement make you grow hotter as you try to not let your embarrassment show.
"Mhm," you hum tight lipped.
It's quiet for a moment as you all watch one another before Steve breaks the silence.
"You guys are acting weird."
"Are we?" you question back too quickly.
"Yeah. You are," Nat says.
"Sugar," Bucky blurts out again. "They're loaded up on sugar. Sorry, they really wanted pancakes this morning. But uh, look, thanks for watching them. We should uh, get going, so.."
"Yeah, we should go," you agree. "What time do you want us to pick them up?"
"We're dropping them off tomorrow afternoon, right?" Steve questioned. "Or did you not want them to go with us?"
"No, oh, right. Duh! I just forgot - that's what we talked about. Because you're taking them to.." you trail off, prompting them.
"The gardens?" Nat finishes.
"Right, yes, the gardens. Which is great. And we appreciate it so much. And if you need anything or anything happens, ya know just call us," you continue on as Bucky starts to pull away. You fight the urge you have to glare at him until you finish your awkward goodbye and Steve and Nat watch you both drive off, clearly confused about the weird interaction.
"Did you miss the part of the email where it explicitly said: don't make it weird?" Bucky asks.
"Fuck off, you were no better," you scowl as you slump in the seat. "What now?"
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2K notes · View notes
shankschewtoy · 8 months
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had this random thought and thought I'd request. what if a random kid just comes over and confesses their love for you (a fully grown adult.) and the one piece men are just standing there like 'wtf is this kid on'
a/n - OML 💀💀💀 I’m laughing so hard right now 😭 anon this idea is hilarious how do you guys think of such funny stuff
Warnings ⚠️ - g/n reader, it’s a random kid not kidd himself- just wanted to clarify that bec i thought it was kidd, major crack
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- If it wasn’t already apparent, Luffy has made it quite clear that he loves you VERY much
- let’s say you’ve been on this island for maybe about a month, and you love it there! The weather’s nice and cool, there’s a nice ocean breeze, and the sun is always out but not too strong
- you were sitting down on a bench with nami and robin, waiting for Sanji and Luffy to come back from their shopping spree
- suddenly, a kid appeared in front of you, holding a bouquet of flowers and a little hand made present
- “Um-! You’re super cool and pretty/handsome! And- I love you! Please take this gift and these roses!”
- the shock that just froze the three of you
- robin raised an eyebrow while nami burst out laughing, unable to breathe
- “BAHAHAHAHSUBDIDBD- YOU’RE LIKE 22 AND THIS IS A LITTLE ASS KID-“
- “Nami! Be nice! Um… Thanks kid- I like the flowers. But like Nami said- I’m a lot… Older than you.”
- The kid looked like they were about to start sobbing, so you quickly took the flowers and present to make the kid happy
- the present was a little origami heart and a butterfly, it was actually quite adorable
- All of the sudden, Luffy fucking tackled the poor child, flying across the sidewalk
- “Y/N’S MINEEEEEEEEEE!!”
- bro was hissing and growling like a feral monkey at the poor kid wtf 💀
- Sanji had to rip Luffy off the poor child and this grown man was throwing a fit, yelling at this kid
- “Y/N’S MINE! I LOVE THEM!” -luffy
- “I LOVE THEM TOO!” -kid
- “I LOVE THEM MORE!” -luffy
- “NO I DO!” -kid
- this argument continued for about 20 minutes. 20 minutes
- you had to drag Luffy and I mean DRAGGG him back to the sunny while he kept yelling at the kid about how he loved you more
- “Hmph! I bet i could take him in a fight!” -luffy (please keep in mind that this child is like 6)
- “Yeah ok luffy, don’t beat up a child.”
- “I’m a pirate! I’m already a criminal! HEY KID! GET OVER HERE IMMA BEAT YOUR ASS!” *feral screeching*
- “LUFFY NO-!”
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- (rewatched marineford, I promise and swear I did not cry)
- ace is a bit more mature (not a lot) but he’s more mature than Luffy
- it was such a nice day! You and ace were hanging out on an island as a tiny vacation for the crew
- the crew got some ice cream, went shopping, and stocked up on food for the day
- ace, being the gentleman he is, carried all the bags for you, and even bought you THREE scoops of ice cream (y/n pls give me some this weather is ridiculous💀)
- ace was telling you about a story when he was younger, it was mainly about how Luffy was really stupid and loved to eat random mushrooms from the forest
- “He was SO dumb- it was really bad. He hallucinated for like- 2 days, and almost ate Dadan.”
- “HE ALMOST ATE HER?”
- “HIS TEETH WERE AROUND HER ENTIRE ARM.”
- bro Luffy is wild
- all of the sudden, something tapped you on the shoulder, and you turned around, not seeing anybody behind you
- “Um.. Excuse me?”
- The voice was coming from below, and it sounded like a kid’s voice! As you looked down, you saw this cute little child with brown hair and green eyes, their cheeks were bright pink, and they were holding something behind their back
- “Uh hi there! Did you need something from me?”
- “Um… I- I wanted to give these to you.. I picked them myself.”
- this kid was adorable, they were handing you a hand picked bouquet of flowers!! How adorable is that?! You smiled and pat the kid’s head softly, thanking him for the flowers
- ace had a big grin on his face, he found this kid absolutely adorable too
- “Uh- I think you’re super pretty/handsome! And- I think I really love you!”
- now this is where you both froze and stared at the kid with wide eyes, what did this child just tell you?..
- “I’m sorry what?” -you
- “I love you.” -kid
- “What?” -you
- this poor kid was about to cry, this was his first rejection after all 😭 and you could tell if this kid started crying, holy shit this kid’s going to SCREAM
- “Ok- sorry! I was just confused for a sec.. Are you sure you mean me? Not that little kid over there with the pig tails?”
- this kid was determined, shaking their head as they took your hands in theirs
- Ace was struggling, struggling not to just start cackling, the only thing keeping him from laughing was you pinching his arm
- “Ace don’t even think about laughing.”
- “I’m sorry- *wheeze* this is hilarious.”
- Ace’s face was turning red, bro looked like he was choking on food. But you really didn’t know what to say to this kid- I mean- you’re an adult and this is a literal child. Secondly- ace was your boyfriend already
- “Hey kid, how about I buy you some ice cream and we can talk about y/n together eh?” -ace
- The kid smiled and took Ace’s hand. How cute, your boyfriend was talking to this little kid about all the great aspects of you
- You heard about 1009 compliments today, and it warmed your heart 💜💜
- ace is awesome, 100% husband material
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- doesn’t matter if it’s a child, girl, or animal, he’ll cut them up into pieces if they hurt you or his friends
- but outside of his tough demeanor, zoro was actually pretty loving, especially when the sunny was docked on an island and it was just a day to hang out
- he liked taking naps on you, literally anywhere (he sleeps the best on your ass 💀💀)
- today was not a nap day sadly, but as long as he was with you, today would be a great day
- you had dragged him along to stock up on cola and things for the ship, the whole crew was hanging out on this summery island too
- you weren’t sure why you hadn’t invested some berries into getting a leash for your boyfriend because oh my god
- this bitch keeps getting lost
- you could be looking at some cute shoes for two seconds. TWO SECONDS. And this man disappears, and he somehow ends up on the island next to the one you were on 💀💀
- but anyways, you were now holding him by his collar, keeping this dumbass marimo from running off 👍
- “Y/n are we almost done? I’m kinda tired.”
- “In a second.”
- “you’ve been saying that the past hour.”
- zoro’s feet are about to die
- all of the sudden, a kid tapped your shoulder, looking up at you with wide eyes
- “Oh hello! Did you need something?”
- “Um… I have some flowers for you!”
- The kid handed you a nice bouquet of red, white, and pink roses that were all tied together with a lovely ribbon
- Aw- this little kid was so cute! How nice of them to give you some flowers, right?
- “I- I think I really like you!”
- *pause*
- Maybe this wasn’t so nice 😭
- “Sorry what?” -you
- “I like you!”
- “But- you’re a kid!”
- this kid started sobbing, clinging onto your waist like a baby, crying about how they thought you were so pretty/handsome
- “Hey! It’s ok! Can you let go??”
- zoro was getting pissed, he didn’t like it when kids whined and wailed about stuff, especially about you
- zoro pried the kid off, setting him down with a glare, “Get off y/n, they’re mine, get lost kid.”
- “Hey zoro be nicer! It’s just a kid.”
- “NO! I LOVE Y/N” -kid
- basically this is what happened
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- zoro and this literal child were pulling you back and forth, giving you severe whiplash 💀
- “Omg Robin come over here this is hilarious!!” -nami
- “NAMI PLS HELP ME.” -you
- “I think you’re fine y/n! Just wait until robin gets here!!” -nami
- wow what help you are nami 😭😭
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a/n - Luffy hisses at people and growls 💀
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hotdogdynamitezzz · 1 year
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Spicy Astro Observations 18+
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This is really just a filler post for my december schedule because the content I've promised has taken so long to write on and off between my finals. I'd like to thank college for these notes, enjoy ig 💘
🌶 Libra Mars are actually quite dominant in bed, it’s so unexpected but I think they’re so good with dirty talk they just naturally know how to control a situation. Degrading others in bed oddly turns them on? for such a sweet sign I think they let their crazy and angry side loose in the bedroom as they always appear sweet and professional in every other space. Very much so lady in the streets freak in the sheets if you will.
💘 A Libra venus will want princess treatment in bed tho, they are the ones wanting to be taken care of and pleased 10000% they also wear the best lingerie hands down. You say one out of pocket thing and they are gone yall, although they like to be experimental! So switch it up.
🌶 Leo mars can sometimes be too controlling or demanding in bed, same with the moon in 8th house men I’ve noticed. In general, sex is lowkey overhyped with fixed-sign men because a lot of them just tell you what to do and order you around, which could be your vibe if you’re hella sub. But if you’re a dom the fixed sign men I’d go for are Scorpio venus & Aquarius moons. They like to be dominated from what I’ve noticed and are open to experimenting.
💘 Those who want to be treated like a princess and praised are libra + leo placements. Basically they have a praise kink lmao.
🌶 Uranus aspecting the ascendant or 7th house in any way usually is an indicator the individual is more open to polyamorous relationships or experimentation from what I’ve seen. it doesn’t always have to be uranus aspecting venus or mars but because the Ascendant - Descendant axis represents our perspective of the world and how others view us, I have noticed they are more open to the lgtbq+ community.
💘 Neptune in the 5th house people are definitely subs from what I’ve seen, they like to be taken care of and edged on until they cry LMFAO but they prefer some element of fantasy and a lot of foreplay to really engage them and turn them on or else it’s just not happening. You need to take them to another realm babes. Also highkey squirters
🌶 Venus/Moon aspecting Neptune in a 0 - 4° orb is also kinda known for squirting.
💘 Venus square Jupiter people and their sex drive is..scary 💀 Honestly they struggle to control their sex drive, these mf’s cannot go a week without sex it’s too hard for them. They find desire and indulge in it a lot, they also love sensual activities and games in bed. Usually there’s an element of power play involved and don’t forget to body worship them lmaoo. I actually see the individuals prefer being doms as well.
🌶 Aries venus men ARE NOT DOMS TBH it shocked me because Aries is the most masculine sign, but venus in a mans chart represents what they look for in women, what will turn them on and such. Therefore, they tend to favour bolder and more dominant women who make the first moves. I've heard a lot of them talking about how their DREAM is to get pushed against a locker by a hot girl and she makes out with them😭💀 - thanks college gossip.
💘 Scorpio & Capricorn mars is all about that BDSM sorry not sorry...same goes for Mars square Uranus which is funny, they like to fight their way to freedom ig lol? Also include Saturn - Mars as Saturn rules over chains & bondage.
^ most likely Capricorn mars likes to be tied up while Scorpio mars likes to be the one in control and tying the person up.
🌶 We know the mercurial signs are great at oral, but PISCES AND SCORPIOS compete for the oral queens and kings title too omg. Scorpio rules the genitals while pisces rules over liquids so...you can see how this plays out HAHA. Pisces can also just drive you over the edge easily? scorpio likes to drag it out while pisces prefers to deliver a fantasy.
💘 Virgo venus people are NOT as innocent as they seem. They LOVE degradation and being sub af, the sign that serves? yeah they gonna do whatever it takes to get you off bae and thoroughly enjoy the process. THEY PAY ATTENTION TO DETAILS TOO! if they find something that turns you on they will be sure to explore it more. Every virgo venus/mars person gives off hot librarian vibes and you just know a lot of them are kinky lol
🌶 Taurus venus is more vanilla but in a sensual and indulgent fashiom as they wanna be comfy and cute while fully embracing pleasure. Most likely they prefer to be taken care of in bed, sucking on their throat is their biggest turn on. They are extremely romantic, the type to get the mood going and prepare roses on the bed. They like things simple and hot because they know what they want.
💘 Leo & Scorpio placements shaking hands on their creampie and corruption kinks help omg LOL. Nothing turns a leo on more than stroking their ego with knowing they’re your first, they get on a power trip fr. As luminaries, they just like knowing they have the effect to influence you. It's always Leo Moon or Mars I've seen this with
🌶 As for Scorpios corruption & creampie kink I've noticed Scorpios are really into wholesome or innocent people? Just completely opposite of their darker personalities. Wanting to ruin someone turns thems on a lot because scorpio rules over power imbalance so Ig thats why. Scorpio also rules over regeneration, life & death so creampies kinda fits in the birth category yknow
💘 Cancer placements also have a weird tendency to be complete doms or subs and nothing in between, they like to give orders which I find funny because it is so not associated with their stereotypes. But in general the sweet zodiac signs ARE REALLY KINKY FOR SOME REASON. 
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🌶 Aquarius mars and public sex is actually insane, and the rumours are true a lot of aqua moons I’ve met fantasize about threesomes and orgies. They’re just as much into voyeurism as Sagittarius mars is.
💘 Aquarius Mars also LOVES sex toys, especially vibrators. They literally act like they gonna perform a scientific experiment on your pussy help I can’t
🌶 Every pisces sun man I’ve met is straight up addicted to porn, idc if anyone thinks they’re innocent and cute. THEY HAVE PROBLEMS LMAOO.
💘 A lot of sagittarius mars women I’ve met are doms and love body worship, i think body worship is definitely connected to Jupiter as Zeus is associated with that planet. So y’know, treat them like a god and you will be rewarded lol.
🌶 Speaking of which, Sagittarius rising women are just the most fun people ever, in and out of the bedroom you will literally never get bored they are so funny and cool. I simp for them fr
💘 Neptune or Pisces in the 5th house could be into LSD or acid trips while they have sex, they prefer to use alcohol or some form of substance to lessen their anxiety, they could also highkey be sex addicts as the 5th house is our hobbies and entertainment.
🌶 Mars & Pluto in the 5th house LOVE angry sex, they are the people who have makeup and breakup sex the most I swear, they relieve their stress by having sex.
💘 Those with Gemini/Virgo/Mercury in the 8th house could like handcuffs a lot. I know a girl with this that has a kink for having her hands cuffed and not being able to see.
🌶 If you’re crushing on a Scorpio placement, just make them laugh and get them a little jealous. They will get obsessed, I feel like this is why they tend to have relationships with Geminis so often? because Geminis know how to rile people up, crack a joke or two, and seem unbothered in the process. I have never known a Scorpio venus to be into someone without getting jealous first oops-
💘 Mars in the 6th house is a secret man whore placement, they don’t seem like fuckboys but they use physical activity for their mental health and most often I’ve noticed their way of healing is through sex, and more sex PFFT. 
🌶 12th house stelliums and their fantasies of a person that doesn’t even know they exist lol. To get their attention just randomly pop up to help them once in a while but not too often so they feel special but are curious about you. Doing little things for them yet keeping the mystery and suspense of a crush alive is what keeps them fantasizing tbh.
💘 It’s why 12th house people love virgo placements so much, because virgos always randomly appear to help a pisces/12th house person. While on the other hand the pisces/12th house person devotes themselves and their personal time completely because they can’t see boundaries. It’s cute but I fear for y’all seriously 😀 get some boundaries plz
💘 Scorpio moons please avoid sagittarius & gemini moons at all costs until they’ve matured because a sag moon gets bored easily, moves on, will honestly ghost, and loves to not notify anyone. I know how anxious and paranoid scorpio moons can get and honestly a sag or gemini moon will only worsen your fears and trauma. Everytime I've seen this combination it's ALWAYS the gemini or sag moon leaving the scorpio moon heartbroken and ghosted 🥲
🌶 Sagittarius moons are free spirits, they cannot be tied down but they aren't always cheaters. I'd say their non-committal style differs from gemini in the sense that it will take A LOT to actually get into a relationship with a sag moon and once they're in its unlikely they cheat. While Gemini moons do get bored easily and jump into relationships so they seem to talk to other people and could perhaps cheat.
💘 Scorpio moons will say bs to get you in bed, they are sweet talkers and kinda act like fboys if they're not that into you so just beware. But so will many other moon signs like gemini, pisces & libra lol. It's not always but, these are the fuckboy moon signs from my experiences that will get you attached first.
But their game is good, worth it imo 👌
🌶 Pisces moons are SOO attentive in the bedroom, they will provide everything you want and make you feel so special it’s impossible to not become emotionally attached after you’ve done the deed tbh.
💘 I've noticed people with Saturn, Jupiter or Mars in their 8th House like it rough to the point of begging, they literally wanna see their partner crumble underneath them I’m not even joking...they also are really horny 24/7 because with mars in the 8th house they just have the desire for sex and release tension through it, same with Mars in 5th house. While Jupiter & Saturn can point to difficulties with controlling their sex drive, it’s either wayy too much or they’re celibate for a year. Very all or nothing type of people.
🌶 Leo placements literally wanna be caught fucking someone, again I’M NOT KIDDING they like to be shown off and know other people want them too, very similar to Aquarius mars and gets horny off of anything that feeds their ego tbh. 
💘 Mercury conjunct Venus/Mars people think about sex so much they get horny easily, they are actually the most under-rated horny placement. They don’t just sweet talk or dirty talk their way into your pants but they seem to have a lot of wet dreams and really be into having sex while performing another mental task like video games or smth. Yall secretly so freaky huh 😀
🌶 Venus/Moon in your 12th house makes you wet 24/7 it's like the ocean which is a very 12th house theme. For men it would be their Mars in 12th house. They're horny 24/7 I swear it's actually concerning.
💘 It's kinda hard to get a capricorn mars person turned on, it takes a lot of effort but they can last a while so it's worth it ig. But foreplay is gonna be a while okay, they like to take their time.
🌶 Mars & Mercury in 3rd/5th house people get bored easily during sex so make it competitive and include fun games. They also are the type to flirt with someone out of spite and play mind games. Not always again but- its never dull. They love the drama aspect in relationships tbh, it has to be passionate and fun or they don't fw you.
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lovewithmary · 6 months
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(not) moving on — a max verstappen x stark!oc x charles leclerc series
★ fc: madison beer ☆ summary: evangeline "evie" stark is in love with her best friend, max verstappen, but he tries his best to keep her at arm's length. but what happens when she starts to get close to his fellow drivers in the paddock?
previous next series masterlist
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liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, lewishamilton, and 39420123 others
eviestark: i believe this called a photo dump? idk blame lando and danny for this
tagged: landonorris charles_leclerc lewishamilton carlossainz55 danielricciardo
comments
author: yes half of these pictures are from lando’s jpg account ignore it pls
landonorris: photo credit for the 8th picture 😎 ↳ eviestark: does it really count as photo credit when we were just facetiming and you said "smile!" and i did? ↳ landonorris: it is in my book
user1: SHE INFILTRATED THE GRID
user2: DID ALL OF THEM GIVE HER THOSE FLOWERS?
user3: ma’am do you need a dog? i can bark
user4: evie fr went from being seen with only max to everyone with her BUT max 💀
user5: gold digger ↳ user8: im sorry... but did you see her last name? STARK. meaning STARK INDUSTRIES. she's probably richer than all of the f1 drivers in this photo dump
carlossainz55: amor my picture does not look good ↳ eviestark: i told you i was taking a picture los :( ↳ user17: THE NICKNAMES????? LOS AND AMOR
lilymhe: beautiful 😍 (the flowers + evie) ↳ eviestark: can albono fight? cause i’ll fight him ↳ alex_albon: ill try to fight, but ill probably get my ass kicked by black widow's prodigy ↳ eviestark: ALEX ↳ alex_albon: shit was i not supposed to say that? ↳ lilymhe: i apologize on his behalf 😭
francisca.cgomes: i miss you smmm! we should hang out again ↳ eviestark: leave gasly, ill treat u better 😘 ↳ pierregasly: excuse me? ↳ eviestark: don't look gasly
carmenmmundt: girls day when? ↳ eviestark: get rid of george and it'll be girls night every night ↳ georgerussell63: i'm watching you evie ↳ eviestark: and you can watch me steal your girl russell
charles_leclerc: i wasn't even looking at the camera ↳ eviestark: but you still look good stfu
user6: evie must’ve saved a village in her past life because how is she so pretty, A STARK, and rumored to be with most of the f1 grid rn? ↳ user7: don’t forget her family is the avengers, she has 3 degrees, and can fight (as we have just discovered by alex)
user9: evie who is your favorite f1 driver rn (hint: m.v) ↳ charles_leclerc: (m)charles (v)leclerc ↳ landonorris: (m)lando (v)norris ↳ carlossainz55: (m)carlos (v)sainz ↳ danielricciardo: (m)daniel (v)ricciardo ↳ lewishamilton: lewis hamilton ↳ eviestark: (m)yuki (v)tsunoda (but lewis is a close second) ↳ user10: SHE'S ONE OF US!!!! ↳ landonorris: why is yuki your favorite ↳ eviestark: 1. have you seen him 2. he eats the stuff i bake 3. have you seen him ↳ landonorris: fair enough ↳ yukitsunoda0511: i will always eat anything you bake :)
danielricciardo: practiced on my jpg account to prepare myself to take picture of evie at the eiffel tower ↳ eviestark: it's pretty but it's blurry ↳ danielricciardo: you couldn't stop laughing and you turned around! ↳ eviestark: i only turned around bc u kept on making funny faces while u were taking pictures!!!
tonystark: tesoro did u get the autograph from my favorite driver? ↳ eviestark: i did, but papa you just should've texted me instead of commenting on my post 😭 😭 ↳ user11: TONY WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE DRIVER? 🎤 ↳ tonystark: lewis hamilton. ↳ user12: shouldn't it be max since you've known him the longest ↳ tonystark: not anymore.
lewishamilton: roscoe misses you ↳ user13: SHE GOT TO MEET ROSCOE HAMILTON? oh verstappen is fucked ↳ user14: not just roscoe, she also has (lewis) hamilton, ricciardo, norris, leclerc, and sainz liked by eviestark
user15: isn't it kinda fucked that just bc max was seen with kelly piquet evie is all of a sudden surrounded by f1 drivers when she and max were never together? ↳ user16: bffr she's not doing anything wrong. like u said, they were never together so that means that it doesn't matter if she's hanging out with f1 drivers now liked by eviestark
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etherealstar-writes · 3 months
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I WANNA BE YOURS | LIONESSES X READER | PT 4
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pairings: lionesses x reader
summary: in which you're accidentally added to a random group chat, not knowing they're all actually famous footballers, and obliviously end up having many of them competing for your love and attention.
part: four
part one here
✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦
THE NATIONAL DIVING TEAM
elton
how is everyone on this fine evening?
the REAL karate kid
great until you rudely woke me up
from my peaceful nap
stairway
L
the imposter
eh not too bad
but my friend keeps on spamming me
with these tiktok edits
neev
tiktok edits you say 👀
what of?
the imposter
these girls she's kinda obsessed with
and finds them incredibly good-looking
and wants to know who my fav is or
who i find the most good-looking
elton
ooh really?
i wanna know who
let us google em and say our opinions
the REAL karate kid
and which one did you find
the most good-looking?
the imposter
i don't really know who any of them are 😭
but they're playing football in some clips
so i'm guessing they're football players?
elton
oh 😳
stairway
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this will be interesting
earpsy
ah well describe them
so how many were there?
and who was the best looking?
i wanna keep an eye out if they
turn up on my fyp
the imposter
well there were quite a few
there was this one specific blonde
that she continuously spammed me
edits off the most
and i think she was the captain idk?
willybum
i feel like i've seen that blonde before!
i reckon she's everybody's favourite
since she's the most good-looking
stairway
what a big fat lie
elton
as if
the imposter
eh, everyone's fav?
i mean i see where people are coming
from but that's kinda stretching it ...
there are so many more players
that seem to be just as great if not better
the REAL karate kid
see
thank you
you get it
just like everyone else
someone just needs to knock
some sense into leah
and i'll gladly do it rn
BACK TF UP 🤺
lotte
who is your favourite player tho, y/n?
neev
i'd love to know too
stairway
come on, that's easy
it's gotta be stanway
right?
the REAL karate kid
y/n, my love
it's russo isn't it
elton
hey hey hey
we forgetting toone too
the REAL karate kid
shush
the imposter
um i'm still uncultured okay 😭
i don't know any of their names yet
oh but i do know one of their names
i think she's pretty cool
neev
ooh do tell who this lucky person is
that you find pretty cool
the imposter
it's lucy bronze
willybum
NAHHH
SHUT UP
stairway
NOT THAT OLD RUSTY GRANDMA 😭
OUT OF EVERYONE ELSE SHE COULD PICK
rusty metal
OI
who you calling an old rusty grandma?
stairway
YOU
WHO ELSE
rusty metal
i'm very delighted that
she is your favourite y/n
she's mine too <33
earpsy
LMAO 💀
just so you know y/n
you've broken a lot of hearts today
the REAL karate kid
lemme just go and find the nearest cliff
and fling myself off of it
stairway
i'm joining you
willybum
count me in too
the imposter
IM SORRY 😭
ALL THE LIONESSES SEEM AMAZING OKAY
I JUST ONLY KNOW ABOUT HER YET
elton
nah
you've made your choice
the imposter
YOU GUYS
it's really not that big of a deal
you all are acting like i've
personally rejected you guys
lotte
this whole thing was so funny to read omg
meado
honestly
top tier entertainment
made my day
thank you y/n
the imposter
you're welcome ...?
part five here
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seokjinsonlyone · 1 year
Text
this how i think bts would be if you both knew you liked each other but you weren’t dating yet
a/n: you guys been looking forward to this one hope it lives up to your expectations 🥹👉👈 and you should like totally lemme know what you thought about it after you're done
namjoon:
calls you on the phone every night; asks about your day and genuinely wants to know every little detail no matter how insignificant; gets shy when you ask about his
always extends an invite to you to join him at a museum; he goes to so many so often so he understands if you can’t go every time but he really likes it when you can go; likes hearing your thoughts on different pieces no matter how ridiculous bc you’re really not that well versed in art and architecture; he also likes the look in your eye and how intently you listen to him when he actually explains the intent behind the art
wraps his arms all the way around you, completely engulfing you when you hug; gives you an extra squeeze and rubs circles on your lower back before letting go
pet names start slipping out willy nilly; beautiful, princess, pretty girl, lovely; like the more and longer he likes you the less your name come out his mouth
he got mad rizz dog; like everyone once in a while he's gonna hit you with a pick up line that catches you off guard; gon have you giggling and blushing; but he also will be giggling and blushing afterward bc he gets shy after being cute
lowkey wants your approval for everything; doesn’t NEED it but he’d like it tho for sure; like would let you listen to his unreleased music and wait with bated breath while you listened until you gushed about how good it all was
if someone came up to him while y’all were hanging out and started flirting with him he would not notice at all; you’d wait until he was done carrying on the conversation and (semi)jokingly be like “so when’s the date” and he’d be soooo confused; “huh?” “they were totally flirting with you!” “really?” “if they smiled any harder they cheeks would’ve split open and did you see how hard they were laughing? you not that funny joon 🙄” “i’m sorry i didn’t notice. i promise i wasn’t flirting back tho. the only person i wanna flirt with is you.”
seokjin:
turns red whenever you’re around; like just constantly feels called out even if no one said anything bc it’s like he knows how he feels, all his friends know how he feels, and most importantly you know how he feels; embarazzing
becomes your local fruit dealer; like whenever his family or friends give him a bunch of produce from their various farms you’re definitely on the list of people he gifts them too; he gives you a bigger share than his members too <3
sends you pictures of the food he cooks and always saves you a plate after hearing you talk about how good it looks
asks for your switch code and invites you to play games with him whenever he has down time; like will stay up to 4am playing mario strikers or nintendo switch sports with you
gets really good at origami bc one time you met up and he felt awkward not having anything to get you so he used the gum wrapper in his pocket to make you a paper airplane; now every time you meet up he has a new paper sculpture; like you end up with a whole drawer of paper hats, planes, cups, flowers, frogs, ninja stars; has a cute little message written inside that makes you smile each time you unfold them
overly helpful; like he tryna do whatever he can for you; he’s holding your bag, opening doors for you, at one point he even goes so far as to lay his jacket on the bench y’all sitting on so your butt won’t be cold 💀
his number one goal when y’all are around each other is to make you laugh; like it doesn’t really matter if you’re laughing with him or at him as long as he hears that cackle he considers the interaction a success
yoongi:
not used to initiating any kind of interaction (outside of work) with people so he just lingers around you and hopes something happens; takes you a while to realize that’s his way of asking for attention
pretty much willing to go along with whatever to make you happy; like if you were complaining about never having anyone to go to the store with he’d offer himself up so fast and that’s how you’d end up with him in ulta helping you pick out lashes
has to get scolded by seokjin repeatedly bc the one text he sent him in the past month was left on read but he replies to you almost immediately every time you message him
silently takes care of you; like if you were eating together and got choked up on something he's just gonna get up and get you a bottle of water then slide it over without ever looking you in the eye; or if you complained about your hands being cold he'd start carrying around those hand warmer pouch thingies waiting for the next time you said something then he'd just put them in your pocket
starts opening up to you 🥺
it may not last for long but when you’re speaking with him he’ll look directly into your eyes
his hands flinch a lot when you're around; sometimes he's just hit with the inexplicable urge to hold your hand or touch you in some sort of way but he hasn't quite figured out y'all's dynamic yet so he's afraid to go for it
hoseok:
becomes zendayafied; like if you think it’s bad with jimin… you ain’t seen the worst of it; you might as well be richard pryor at the apollo the way he be cracking up over any and every little thing you do; his laugh can be heard halfway across the world
he stalks your ig page and replies to all your stories with a series of emojis; shows them to his friends and goes on and on about how cute you are
sends you a bouquet of flowers and texts you a little later on asking if you got them so you send him a picture of you holding them and he responds “☹️ i was hoping you’d be in the pic but all i see are flowers”
notices the little things about you; like he’s the type to compliment your earrings or your nail color
thinks everything you do is like super great; like if you drew a little doodle on a post it note or something he's gonna keep it and in his phone case; like 100% the type to actually display a painting you did in his house even if you feel like it looks like an 8 year old did it
has a special hyper focus on you; i just imagine y'all being at a party and you're in a group and he's being hobi ya know chopping it up with everyone kekeing and the like and you could be there next to him but not really actively participating in the conversation but if you tried to slip away to like get a drink or whatever he would grab your wrist and licherally stop mid sentence to ask you where you were going; would leave the group to go do whatever you wanted to do as well
adds a bunch of heart emojis to your contact in his phone; [yn ❤️😍💜🥰💞😘💖🤩💓😚💘]
jimin:
buys you a scarf when it gets chilly bc he notices you never have one on and he doesn’t want you to catch a cold; personally wraps it around your neck himself before you go outside
perpetual flirt; like there's some kind of innuendo to everything he says to you
is able to pick up on your moods scary easily so he knows when you’re a bit off and lets you know he’s willing to listen if u wanna talk; whether you choose to take him up on his offer or not he gives a really big, tight, long hug which helps you out more than you’re willing to admit
is easily flustered by you; like if you told him you liked his hair or his sweater or something he's gonna do that thing he does where he looks down, smiles, and then hides his face
always trying to impress you; like if you told him you admired people who were good at art he finna brush up on his skills a little and then next time you see him he gon have a sketch pad in fron t of him doing some crazy doodles; or if you told him you liked his voice when you're around he'll be acting like he's being nonchalant playing it cool but be putting in mad effort humming one of your favorite songs adding in some jazmine sullivan type runs
tries to meet up with you as much as possible; like your presence is addicting to him and he wants to take in all that he can; definitely calls you at some point if he can't see you that day even if it's like 1am and you're definitely asleep he's gonna chance it and call you; "are you awake?" "no" "oh i'm sorry i'm sorry i just missed you today" "missed you too mini" "i bet you looked pretty" "thank you but you have to let me get back to sleep" "alright alright imma let you go but one more question" "what's up?" *starts giggling* "what are you wearing right now?😏" "😐 i'm hanging up" *giggles even harder* "okay okay i'm done i'm sorry for waking you sleep tight beautiful" "night mini"; and then he's awake for another hour and a half staring at the ceiling with a big smile on his face thinking about how much he likes you
always walks you to your door when he's dropping you off home and won't leave until you inside with the door closed even if you insist on seeing him off as well so you just gotta watch him walk off from the window
taehyung:
gets shy after complimenting you; the “you look really pretty today” to tata mic face pipeline is strong
goes out of his way to find out when you'll be at certain places and then acts like it's a coincidence when y'all run into each other
feels all tingly inside when you like something he recommended; like if he recommended you a song and you listened to it later and then texted him about how much you loved it you would not be able to wipe the grin off his face
he fishes for compliments from you; like will get all dolled up in his 3 piece suit, hair slicked back just bc he knows you’ll be around and wants you to tell him he looks nice; if you don’t initiate it he will; will stand next to you and be like “ahh i just felt like wearing this today, it’s my favorite one. i think it looks nice. doesn’t it?”
squishes your cheeks between his hands when he deems you as being too cute
takes an active interest in your interests; like if you were really into some group and you told him about it he'd go and listen to their songs and send you his favorites and if they ever toured he's definitely getting y'all tickets to their show; or if you really liked to do paper mache or something he's gonna set aside a day for you to show him how to do it
has his arm around the back of your chair when y’all sit next to each other bc he can’t work up the nerve to actually put his arm around you
jungkook:
walks so close to you that your hand bumps together with every step; takes about five minutes of contemplation and hand flinching before he takes your hand in his; probably puts your conjoined hands in his pocket; looks down at you for about five seconds to gauge your reaction but quickly looks away when you make eye contact; tips of his ears are red the whole time
invites you over to play with his dogs, literally; no funny business is happening; he can’t be with you like that when he likes you as much as he does not until y’all are official just so he has confirmation that you’re on the same page
he be staring at you; like whenever you not looking at him he’s looking at you; watching, observing, admiring, mentally cataloguing all your little quirks, stockpiling them for a rainy day (re: waiting for the right time he can jokingly imitate you)
sometimes it feels like it’s one step forward two steps back with him bc every time he reaches what he feels is “the next level” he has to stop and reevaluate his feelings so he gets distant; but when he’s sure of how he feels again he goes back to following behind you like a lil puppy
his crush on you gets fatter whenever y’all are in a group conversation bc you always notice when he’s trying to say something but can’t find the right timing and create an opening for him to speak
always sits next to you; like there could be 10 empty seats in a room and he's always gonna jam himself as close to you as possible even if he doesn't plan on saying anything
y'all would have a couple late night convenience store dates; like y'all would be on the phone at like midnight talking about how you're craving ramen and snacks and next thing you know he's offering to pick you up and then you sitting next to him in da local 7/11 wit a cup ramen, a diet coke, and some sour gummy worms; he'd lightly gasp and go stiff for a second before relaxing a bit if you randomly laid your head on his shoulder after you finished your food complaining about how full and tired you were; would go back and forth with himself over whether he should just wrap his arm around you but ultimately just decides on leaning his head against yours in return
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mazeinthemiroh · 11 months
Note
im not sure sent req or yet (-人-。) can i req skz when his friend pretend to be stay and carry a sign '__ marry me!' or shout 'that's my boy' at random event (¯ ▽ ¯)
stray kids when their best friend acts like a stay
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genre: crack, fluff
warnings: cursing
please like and reblog if you enjoy :))))
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chan
he's just happy you support him tbh. he doesn't mind how you support him so long as you're there for him lol. he gets a really good laugh when you're waving cringe or inappropriate signs at his concerts. you definitely tickle his funny bone when you pull stuff like that when he's literally doing his job. he can't help but laugh though because who wouldn't??
minho
he will stop to read your sign saying "marry me lee know" and smirk widely, shaking his head and rolling his eyes. might blow you a little kiss if you're lucky. he finds your little jokes and attempts like these to be very amusing and will never get tired of them, especially when you come to their concerts a lot just give him a little encouragement.
changbin
i mean he's used to his friends acting like fans; we saw how wooyoung was like in kingdom i live for them crumbs. changbin usually chuckles and plays along with you, making a joke out of it and pretty much encouraging this type of behaviour. he's honestly flattered because he knows no matter what type of jokes you pull, you do sincerely support him and his career.
hyunjin
debates on whether to ignore you or not most of the time. but of course, he can't ignore you for too long. you're the loudest one to scream his name in concerts, which says a lot. it's when you turn up to fansigns, unannounced, and he just bursts into his hearty laughter when he just sees you sitting them in front of him because he never expects you to do shit like this even though you do??
jisung
he thinks your little antics are hilarious but he's gotten so used to them now he almost expects it. what he didn't expect was you screaming 'HAN JISUNG' at the top of your lungs in the middle of a paparazzi shoot. the other fans were loud, sure, but you were louder. his face was shocked, but once he realised it was you, he couldn't stop laughing after that.
felix
he gets a little embarrassed or shy but he honestly doesn't mind in the slightest. he knows you're only playing around and honestly, he would do the same if the situation was the other way round. so even though he may pout and protest when he calls you out for your dramatic fan activities, he secretly loves it.
seungmin
will roll his eyes and ignore you, pretending he doesn't know you and acting like you're not even there. rude!! i personally wouldn't take that if i were you. might acknowledge you every now and then by pulling faces at you to make you laugh, but otherwise if you do anything to embarrass him he's blocking you irl 💀
jeongin
your antics are well-known to all the members as well as stays. they know you're besties with jeongin and that you also like to make an appearance during fansigns and concerts to show your support. so when you turn up to a fansign and yell 'innie, you're so handsome!' stays laugh and cheer once you finally get his attention, to which he usually grins shyly and covers his face.
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rendezvouz-fling · 1 year
Text
Astro Observations #21
Moon signs edition part 2!🍂
Having dated a few Leo moons, I’ve noticed they have a thing for acting more vulnerable and caring with their partners in private then acting the complete opposite when their friends are around because they think that vulnerability is only for their partners to see.
I’ve noticed some Taurus/Libra moons tend to have greedy mothers who are keen on good looks and manners or their mothers might gravitate towards friendships with people who have money. 
Let me know if I’m onto something but, I believe Saturnian moons (Cap/Aqua) and their relationship with their mothers often times also depends on their Venus sign. E.g. my sister is a Capricorn moon with a Sagittarius venus and although she has the typical Saturnian moon qualities/issues, her mom still has never really been verbally affectionate and treats her bad. Whereas I’m an Aquarius moon with a Pisces venus and although me and my mom aren’t the closest/on the same page and yes I also carry the typical Saturnian moon qualities/issues, my mom is very caring and affectionate.
Pisces moons can be somewhat gullible at times due to their very giving and affectionate nature!
Virgo moons at 3, 15 or 27 degree in the 2H are the biggest over thinkers!! Always constantly worrying or thinking about a comeback to an argument that happened a week ago. They can also have stress eating tendencies.
Gemini moons are those best friends you either talk to everyday or just once while! And when you do talk to them there’ll most likely be something crazy happening in their lives. They just give off an air of being restless and pretty much always on the go.
Yes Sagittarius moons are normally really funny but have you talked to one while they were drunk?😭🤣
Aries moons are the type of friends who are ready to let go of everything and just run away with you to another country meanwhile they haven’t figured out how they’re going to survive over there or anything.💀 Ily guys! 😂
Scorpio moons are very generous, most of them have their guards up and I feel like it’s because they get easily hurt and sometimes their expectations of people turns out to be unrealistic.  
Taurus moons and Aquarius moons aren’t the types to apologize!💀 Taurus moons will just try to offer you some of their food or they might soften up to you a little orrr even try to engage in a conversation with you a few moments after an argument. Whereas Aquarius moons won’t apologize if they don’t feel like they did/said anything wrong and they’ll tell it to your face too then tell you exactly what they said and how they don’t see any wrong in it. 🧍🏽‍♀️
Virgo moons with Cancer risings only really truly apologize if they feel like they’d hurt your feelings.
Also I’ve noticed most Air moons tend to not have parental supervision specifically at a very young age. Or their parents (normally their mom) usually leaves them with their family while they go out and do whatever.
Saturnian moons especially Aquarius moons really be out here having mothers who put their boyfriends on pedestal and they barely pay attention to their kids. Then when the kid (Saturnian moon) confronts their mom about it (wether in the moment or years later) the mother will down right deny it and try to make it seem like all their attention was on their child or make excuses about having to go to work because they needed income, etc…
Some Virgo moons I’ve seen with Air/Earth venuses tend to have aggressive or very critical mothers.
Some Cancer moons I know have emotionally manipulative mothers or moms who do them wrong then gaslight them.
Water moons when underdeveloped can be immature and mean.😭
You know that one friend who’s very artistic or just listen to music a lot, is very playful and can sometimes be unreachable or on the go? They’re probably an Air moon.
That one friend that always validates your feelings and tells/shows you they care about your opinions? They’re probably a Water moon.
That one friend who’s probably the class clown, loud, always cracking jokes to make people laugh and is pretty popular? They’re probably a fire moon.
That one friend who loves exchanging ideas, almost always has strong accurate opinions and has a calming vibe to them? They’re probably an Earth moon.
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joeys-babe · 5 months
Text
Joey B Imagines: Get It On*
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summary: after a road game win in San Francisco, you know Joe’s gonna be in a certain mood when he gets home. you had stayed in Cincinnati with your twin boys and Joe couldn't wait to celebrate the win with you. Being able to predict that, you decide to play a little prank on Joe.
warnings: talks of and illusions to smut, mostly fluff, funny/unserious
pairing: Joe Burrow x reader
imagine universe: into the mystic
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Bye week - October 18th (with flashbacks from October 15th & 12th)
(y/n’s pov)
The bye week was something I had been looking forward to since week one.
With the calf strain before the season even started it had been a little harder for Joe to get into the groove. He’s been more down on himself than normal and it was clear to me that he needed rest which is exactly what a week off would give him.
When Joe was home with me and the twins he wasn't Joe Burrow the quarterback for the Cincinnati Bengals, he was simply “Dada” to his boys and “Joey” to me.
He loved it, being away from the bustle of the NFL and being with his little family.
After a morning of sleeping in and cuddling, Joe cooked breakfast while I watched the twins, who were playing on the floor with their toys while sitting on their playmat.
They had just said their first words within a week of each other, both saying “Dada”. I thought I would've been jealous if my boys said Daddy, Dad, or Dada first but the situations in which they said it were so sweet that I couldn't have been upset.
The boy’s first game was at home against the Seahawks a few days ago. I sat up in the box with Robin & Jimmy plus my boys.
Tyson was sitting on Robin’s lap while I had Miles on mine. Joe ran out and Robin bounced Tyson on her lap saying “Look there's Dada!!” to which Tyson loudly squealed and cooed his first word in response to his grandma.
“Da-da!”
I hurt my neck with how fast it snapped in his direction from pure shock.
Miles said it just a few days before after Joe came home from practice.
Joe walked through the door and immediately found me in the kitchen feeding the boys. He walked over and kissed my cheek before turning his direction to his boys. Miles was reaching out to his dad and Joe immediately picked him up.
“Did you miss daddy?” - you smiled
“Da.. Da!” - Miles
Watching Joe’s eyes widen before he tossed Miles in the air was the sweetest sight.
“Thats my boy!!” - Joe yelled
Now back to the present day, Joe was in the floor with the twins passing around this tiny foam football. “Teach ‘em early” Joe would say.
I sat scrolling through Tiktok when a funny video came up on my fyp of this wife pranking her husband by lighting a candle that smelled like farts and putting it in their bedroom, after seeing the husband's reaction I immediately ordered the candle in hopes to do the same prank on Joe.
I had to laugh as I glanced over my phone at the unsuspecting victim. This was going to be hilarious.
October 29th - After 49ers game
Everyone seemed on cloud nine after the win over the Niners. I stayed back in Cincinnati with the twins while Joe was in San Fran. My parents ended up coming over to watch the game and overall it was a good day.
It wasn't long after the boys went back to the locker room that I received a text from Joe.
Hey mama.
To other people, it might seem like an innocent text, but to me, after all these years with Joe, I knew where this was headed.
Hey, champ!
A couple of seconds later when Joe replied back, I couldn't help but bust out laughing.
Whatcha wearing rn? 😏
I looked down at my current fit and thought about whether I should tell the truth or lie to please him.
Nothing special. Just a pair of your sweatpants and one of your Bengals shirts.
I got worried when he didn't message back for a minute or so, worried that I had disappointed him.
Sounds sexy.
Boy. 💀
Listen, I'm feeling really good right now. I gotta go shower but I'll text you when we're on the bus to the airport.
Talk to ya later then! Enjoy your shower, baby.
Ttyl, love you. ❤️
Love you too!
After I hit send, I put my phone down for a bit and ushered my parents out of the house. I’d hopefully get a shower, get the boys to sleep, and clean the house up a bit before Joe got home.
He'd definitely be getting home late but after big road game wins that would end in a long night for the both of us.
This also meant that tonight would be the perfect night to use something that I ordered back during the bye.
What was that you may ask?
A candle that smells like farts.
Now I’m not a big prankster but I will never pass up an opportunity to mess with Joe, it's been like that since we started dating in high school.
45 minutes later I had gotten most of the dishes washed in the sink, along with putting the clean dishes from the dishwasher up, and moved on to folding and putting away laundry.
It was always fun putting Joe’s clothes back up in our walk-in closet due to how diverse and unique each article was.
I saw the different suits and past game-day fits as a reminder of all of the ups and downs Joe and I have been through together.
Moving over to hang up his favorite grey jeans, in the corner of my eye I caught a view of the jacket Joe wore the day of the AFC Championship back in 2022. That was the same night Joe proposed to me and the thought made me smile. When the memory of what had happened later that night popped into my mind my once-innocent smile turned into more of a smirk. That was one goooood night.
My thoughts ended up interrupted when my phone dinged but seeing Joe’s name being the source of the tone made my smile reappear.
How’s my wife and my boys doing?
One of Joe’s biggest worries, since we found out I was pregnant, was him not being around enough for his kids to have a good relationship with their father. Every away game Joe seemed to check up on his little family every chance he got and though it was incredibly sweet, I worried about how he thought about himself parent-wise. He was an amazing dad, the boys loved him so much
We're doing great, baby. Your boys are already asleep and your wife is just cleaning around the house right now.
We should be home in a few hours but don't feel like you have to wait up for me, it'll be late.
I'm def waiting for him, I thought to myself with a laugh.
Okay! Are the guys all feeling good after the win?
Oh yeah, everyone is hyped right now. They're blaring music and have asked the bus driver to take a detour to the nearest club twice. LOL
You guys should go! Y’all need to celebrate.
It took a few minutes for Joe to respond but when he did, his message warmed my heart.
No thanks. That would just take time away from getting home to you guys. I miss you and the boys so much.
We miss you too. Especially the boys, who kept yelling “Daddy!” every time you were on the TV.
When I read Joe’s reply it was a complete mood shift, but I can't say I wasn't expecting it.
Did you also yell Daddy when I was on the TV?
Omg, Joe!
You'll be saying that again later, baby. 😉
Big wins always put Joe in this mindset but I couldn't help but giggle at his forward texts.
I was brainstorming what to say next when I remembered a little photoshoot I did the other day when Joe was away at practice. These pics would get him worked up for sure.
The pictures were of me fresh out of the shower in the mirror with nothing but his jersey and a tiger-striped thong on. The jersey was hiked up on my hip to where the panties were visible but my phone covered my face, the star of the show was the huge “9” on my front.
*Attachmentt 3 images*
When a few minutes had passed by and Joe hadn’t said anything back I started to get worried. He's on the bus right now... what if someone else saw the pics? Oh no.
If someone else saw those Joe’d be pissed. Oh no.
Holy shit, mama. You look fucking gorgeous.
Oh thank God, I thought.
You like what you see?
Screw like, I damn love it. Those pics are just for me, right?
Your eyes only, J. ❤️
I had no idea what was going on with Joe other than his texts, so I was completely oblivious to him struggling to contain himself in front of the guys.
You don't understand how much I'm struggling right now.
Struggling how Joey?
I knew exactly how he was struggling but I wanted him to come out and say it.
I'm getting so fucking hard. The last thing I need is the guys seeing a tent in my damn sweats.
Just a couple pics got you worked up?
y/n, baby how do you still not understand how much you turn me on after all this time?
Idk, Joe.
Plus baby it's not just the pics you sent me, it's also thinking about what's bound to happen when I get home.
What's that?
I'm gonna get you naked and show you exactly why you wear number nine. Sound good?
Can't wait.
We're boarding the plane, I'll see you later my love.
See you later, Joey.
*time skip*
It was almost two in the morning and there was still no sign of Joe. I was starting to get tired and was genuinely considering just going to bed.
Rolling over onto my side to get comfortable, I had just closed my eyes when I heard the garage door opening. Meaning Joe was home.
I removed the covers from my body and slipped out of bed, running my hands over the front of my satin nightgown to flatten it out before going downstairs.
By the time I made it into the mudroom, where the door that connects the garage to the house is, Joe was already there taking his shoes off.
“Hey baby.” - you smiled
Joe flinched before he found my eyes, his gaze softening as he did so.
“Shit babe, you scared me.” - Joe laughed
“Sorry, how was the plane ride?” - you
“It was fine, everyone was pretty much asleep so I just sat there on my phone… thinking about you.” - Joe
“Is that so?” - you giggled
“Yes ma'am. I missed you like hell.” - Joe
I opened my arms for him and he immediately walked over into my embrace. His arms wrapped tightly around my waist as my hands ran up and down his muscular back.
Joe leaned down and pressed a kiss to my lips before letting his hands drop from my lower back down to my butt.
“The boys still asleep?” - Joe
“Mhm.” - you
“Just us then, wanna go upstairs?” - Joe
“Before we do that… when was the last time you ate?” - you
“I ate this morning and had some snacks on the plane. I'm low-key starving but I made a promise to you about what was happening when I got home.” - Joe
Pulling away from his arms, I pecked his lips before patting his stomach.
“Let's get some food in you, then you can fulfill your promise.” - you winked at him
Joe grinned as he followed me into the kitchen, he sat on one of the barstools as I looked in the fridge.
“What do you want?” - you
“You.” - Joe mumbled
“What was that?” - you turned to face him
Joe smirked at me before dropping his head with a laugh.
“Nothin. Uh, whatcha got?” - Joe
“I've got leftover chicken and noodles, sandwich stuff, bacon for a BLT…” - you
“Chicken and noodles are fine.” - Joe
“Okay, I'll heat that for ya.” - you
I popped the container into the microwave and made my way over to Joe, laying my head on his shoulder.
“Sorry if I'm kinda clingy, I just missed you.” - you
“Don't ever apologize for wanting to be close to me, baby.” - Joe’s hand moved to cradle your head
Just a few seconds before the timer went off, I stopped is as to not wake up the twins with the loud ding.
After handing Joe his food with a kiss on the cheek, I walked upstairs.
I told Joe that I went up there to finish cleaning up but in reality, I was lighting the candle. The directions said that it would smell like vanilla for the first 30 minutes, then it would gradually start to smell bad.
Once it was in a sufficient spot I made my way back downstairs. Joe was in the same spot he was when I left but now he was just in his grey sweatpants as he ate and scrolled on his phone.
The floorboards creaked before I was completely in the kitchen and Joe looked behind him to make sure it was just me.
“You look incredibly beautiful in that nightgown by the way.” - Joe
“Well thank you, a special someone bought it for me.” - you
“A special someone?” - Joe gave you a confused/agitated look
“You bought it for me you goof.” - you laugh
“Oh!” - Joe laughed
We shared small talk as he finished eating. Talking about dinner for the rest of the week, the grocery list, just little things.
Joe abruptly stood up and walked over to the sink to wash the Tupperware his chicken and noodles were in. My eyes couldn't seem to peak away from his body, his back muscles flexed with every scrub he made making me feel hot all over.
He grabbed a towel and was now facing me as he dried the dish, my eyes still drawn to the veins protruding from his hands and arms.
After it was dry to his liking he put it up and the cabinet and sat back down on the stool next to me.
With a longing glance at each other, Joe swiftly grabbed my waist and pulled me off my stool and onto his lap. My hands landed on his chest as his mouth was immediately on mine.
Joe’s hands gripped my hips and slowly slid down to my thighs.
“You still got that tiger-striped thong on?” - Joe
He was grinning up at me as his hands slowly slid under my nightgown. His eyes turned dark when his fingertips reached my hips and he hadn't felt a band.
“No panties?” - Joe’s voice dropped an octave
“No, sir.” - you
“Fuck, y/n…” - Joe groaned
I felt Joe’s hand start moving down toward my inner thigh and I had to stop him. The confused look on his face made me giggle.
“Can we do it more… vanilla tonight?” - you
“Oh yeah, that's okay with me. Whatever you want baby, I'll give you.” - Joe
“Okay… now where were we?” - you
Joe moved his hands back to my waist and stood up, my legs instinctively wrapping around his waist.
He started up the stairs, taking them two at a time as he continued kissing me.
Joe’s pace changed as we passed by the twin’s room to make sure the sound of us rushing to the bedroom wouldn't wake them up.
Once in the bedroom, Joe shut the door and moved to lay me down on the bed.
“Did you light a candle for mood lighting?” - Joe grinned
“Guilty.” - you laughed
Joe laughed along with me as he climbed on top of me. The candlelight accentuated the soft features of his face and enhanced them, he looked even more ridiculously beautiful than he already was.
The faint smile on his face melted my heart as he admired me.
“Gosh… I love you so much y/n.” - Joe
I reached up and combed his curls back with my hand before slowly moving my hand lower to stroke his cheek.
“I love you too, Joe. So so much.” - you
Joe gently pressed our lips together. We engaged in a thorough, slow-burn kiss, that had my toes curling in my fluffy socks.
Very slowly, Joe’s hands moved from my sides and back up my nightgown. He started gently inching it up my body as his lips never left mine.
Once it was completely off my body, Joe disengaged his lips from mine to pull it over my head. The only thing I was left in was my bra.
“You are so… beautiful. Unbelievably beautiful. You're just… breathtaking y/n.” - Joe
His eyes scanned over my body with so much love behind them. I wanted nothing more than to lean over and blow the candle out, knowing It was going to ruin this intimate moment but it was too late.
Joe’s once content face was scrunched up in disgust as he abruptly rolled off of me.
“What the fuck is that?” - Joe
“What do you mean? Did I do something?” - you
“I don't think so… unless. Babe, did you fart? If you did…. goddamn!” - Joe
“Joseph Lee! I did not let one rip while we were trying to get it on!” - you
Joe tried so hard not to cackle but ultimately failed, his nose re-scrunching when he took a big inhale.
“What the actual hell is that putrid smell then, I know for sure it wasn't me! That smells so bad that if it was me I'd be in the bathroom right now.” - Joe
I giggled to myself as Joe hopped off the bed and started smelling around the room.
“Joe baby, you look like a damn bloodhound smelling around like that.” - you hollered laughing
“Well, I'm trying to find whatever the fuck that is so I can get rid of it! I'm not going to bed until I get some sugar.” - Joe
My laughing only got louder as Joe dropped to his knees and started looking under the bed for the source of the stink.
“Maybe there's a dirty pull-up under here…” - Joe grumbled
I rolled off the bed and grabbed a pair of Joe’s boxers that were clean and in his pile of laundry before slipping them on and walking over to his nightstand.
“Baby get off the floor.” - you
“Hold on! I think I'm getting close!” - Joe
“Joe! Get up! It's the candle!” - you laughed
Joe suddenly stood up and looked at me with a confused look on his face.
“How is it the candle? It says vanilla?” - Joe
He walked over to me and I plugged my nose before blowing it out and moving it toward his nose.
Joe looked at me hesitantly before leaning down and smelling the freshly melted wax. He immediately jumped back and gagged at the terrible stench as I seemed t never stop laughing.
“God bless!” - Joe
“I pranked you pretty good huh babe?” - you
“That was not funny at all, and now our room smells terrible. Looks like there's no sex on the menu tonight.” - Joe pouted
The way he exaggeratedly pushed his bottom lip out in a frown had me grinning. I got on my tiptoes and repeatedly pecked his lips till his pout turned into a small smile.
“We can sleep on the couch and watch movies tonight.” - you smiled
I watched Joe’s smile fall back into a pout as he pressed his hips against my thigh, reminding me of his dilemma.
The unamused look on my face only made him more whiney as multiple “please y/n” fell from his lips.
“Here, how about we get in the shower and I suck you off at the end. Would that make you happy?” - you sighed
“No. I don't want pity head.” - Joe grumbled
“Boy please you know pity head doesn't exist in this relationship.” - you smirked
Joe’s frown once again turned into a smile as he took my hand and led us into the bathroom.
Once both of us stripped naked and got in the shower, Joe got his head before he pressed me against the shower and finally got what he'd been craving since the game ended.
After we cleaned each other off and hopped out of the shower, our bedroom had finally gone back to smelling like it normally does.
When Joe flopped on the bed he almost immediately knocked out.
“Tired?” - you kissed his forehead
Joe nodded and I kissed him one last time before cuddling up to him and falling asleep.
One thing you can take from our relationship is no matter what, get you a man that'll still rock your word less than 10 minutes after he thought you let out the worst-smelling fart known to man.
———————————————————————
Authors note: a random daydream turned into one of my fav fics ever. 💀
Hope you enjoyed! ❤️
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kalims · 1 year
Text
sugar
flushed — when you fluster them and how they act.
do you want a 'kiss' — not an actual kiss, the chocolate.
falling (asleep) — you fall asleep on their shoulder.
w/ malleus draconia
commissioned by paru !
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flushed — when you fluster them and how they act.
typically if it was anyone else, they'd have a really hard time to gauge out a reaction from malleus when the most they'll get is probably a barely evident crease, or raise in his brows.
in this case tis our very lovely mc who malleus is very much already on the ground from how fast he fell. you could do just about anything, give him a rock or something, and he’ll thank you eternally and keep it in a room above the most eccentric gifts he's ever gotten.
(god forbid if sebek ever enters, and sees some random rock on a pedestal meanwhile his gifts for the master is just.. there on some table like malleus didn't even think twice to leave it there then worship that rock!)
^ well thankfully, out of respect. sebek believes that someone like him simply is not privileged enough to enter the room of his esteemed master.
anything remotely affectionate from you would definitely send malleus to cloud nine for the whole day, he's practically emitting comical hearts every second you're together. they're trailing after him as he's following you around.
so you have a variety of choices! a heartfelt compliment, a hug, maybe even a kiss. whatever you choose will only feed on the overflowing glass that's called; 'malleus' love for mc'. trust me if you think he's like 67% in love with you, you're WRONG.
it's actually 101% and it's still increasing I swear 😭 
well the glass I was talking about is probably overflowing right now, and it's also probably going to start drowning everyone.
as in… everyone's just stuck to witness malleus' insanely endearing reactions to your shenanigans. should they be scared that malleus would probably do it in a heartbeat if you asked to take over the world??
yeah they should tbh.
in this case, I believe a close hug then a whisper in his ears would really make that arrow hit straight to his heart. you can't just whisper 'doritos' though! /j but you shall instead proclaim your love for him instead with a single 'I love you'.
it's funny to see his face completely freeze. you can practically hear his brain absolutely blowing up. there's a wobbly grin stretching across his face, the tip of his ears turn a shade of pink.
he looks… shy, but oddly pleased.
hellour congratulations malleus will not stop till you're both bound for life 💀 trust me he won't take anyone else if it isn't you anymore. he loves you THAT much.
malleus is not aware of the feeling blooming in his chest, it's foreign. he could even describe it as addictive. he's clueless really, but what he's sure of is that he wonders if you'd feel that too if he did the same to you.
oh well.. you've exposed him to such a euphoric feeling. it's only natural for him to return the favor. 
so honestly just expect him to be the rizzlord for the rest of your existence, he's rizzing you up every chance he can get. and the fact that most of it is just him not trying at all, and just being himself.
which is also funny cause when he does try to 'charm' you it ends up in fail.
like who let him bring you the 'rewards of his hunt' as a courting offering.
and when he tries to recite a letter he wrote for you, it's very endearing, and flattering but he's been talking for quite a long time now and you're concerned.
do you want a 'kiss' — not an actual kiss, the chocolate.
*malleus holding a big ass bowl* yes pls
^ but that's if he knows it's chocolate, and still wants the legit kiss. in a way that's the amount he'd want if it was the real deal.
not that he does know! cause malleus isn't exactly educated in the chocolate culture. as horrifying as it sounds, i doubt he snacks on chocolate in his free time.
I guess he didn't have much time to be a child :(.
he's tasted it before though! but knowing specific brands doesn't really cross his mind. for malleus chocolate is just chocolate. 
so he definitely doesn't know that there's a brand of chocolate called kisses.
so when you ask him if he wants a kiss he's like: yes. IMMEDIATELY. 
ok maybe not immediately but he gives you this certain look, and when he registers your silence at his face he realizes that you're being serious. 
malleus rn: well I mean ur offering so 
WHEN DID HE EVEN FINISH EATING A MINT CANDY.
jokes aside it's almost sad to think how he'll react when it's in fact, not a kiss.
when you pull out some kind of thing wrapped around in some kind of foil and place it inside malleus' palm he's just confused. where are his kisses?? why are you giving him this thing??
malleus spots the 'kisses' label on it and blanks.
oh.. so that's what you meant.
okay he's happy to receive anything from you but that's foul play!
but he really likes you so he won't comment on it 😞 you didn't even elaborate so it's partially his fault for jumping into conclusions.
no one can explain, not even you when there's a visible aura radiating off malleus. something gloomy, and he won't tell you even if you point out that you've noticed him constantly glancing at your face.
well your lips but you also don't know that.
falling (asleep) — you fall asleep on their shoulder.
would refuse to move at all.
first of all, he's honored that you trust him this much to lower your guard, and fall asleep on him. malleus is aware, sorta. he doesn't stop talking but instead slows down his words.
he doesn't want to wake you up, does he?
so he just settles on rambling in hopes that even in your dreams, his voice would reach you. you'd dream of him day, and night.
but when he's done malleus makes very little movement, hyper aware that you've fallen asleep on him. so when he finally assumes a position most comfortable for you, (plus one where he wouldn't crane his neck too much to peer at you) and he just stares.
he's done this plenty of times when you were awake so he doesn't know why he's doing it now. maybe it's because he sees you awake every time, and when you were, he could see the slightest bit of exhaustion present in your eyes.
this way he can be at peace knowing you are.
he recalls your certain features, he'd love to just gaze into your eyes right now and see himself in it but the fact that he can feel all your weight on him is better than anything he's ever felt before. 
cold, rainy days in nrc are just a blessing from grace.
but you now just discover that rain here is a lot stronger than your local pour back at home. to make everything worse, you had no idea it was gonna rain this hard, and if you did you wouldn't have taken the time to visit the city on a sunday.
now you're stuck waiting under a cover outside a shop. your patience honestly starting to run thin. from your legs sincerely, you're immensely thankful for the random bench under it cause you're sure they would have been quaking from the amount of time you spent waiting.
but you do like the weather, cold weather is rare to see when the sunny days reign over many.
you should have brought a jacket or something.
"child of man?"
you blink when malleus tilts his head at you, a thin smile playing upon his lips. his shoulders seem to ease up at the sight of you. your eyes fly above him, weirdly enough it's like there's some invisible force protecting malleus from the weather so he's completely dry.
albeit weakly, you still make an effort to give him a half hearted wave. 
of which he notes.
malleus makes his way over to you, and your beloved bench you had started acquainting yourself with. "may I?" he gestures beside you, and you take that as an initiative to move over.
he takes a seat next to you right after.
"how are you faring?" his eyes crinkle, he stares deeply into you. 
you chuckle. "well I'm stuck here for a while I guess. I already miss my bed,"
the man beside you raises his brow before lightly raising his shoulder, leaning towards you a little for emphasis but you're sure that's just another excuse to take up more of your space.
you get what he's implying in a second. "oh no, no," you shake your head. that would be… embarrassing. 
but your yawn betrays you, and malleus easily coaxes you into using his shoulder. with or without your will, you can't even remember what happened until you blearily open your eyes, and realize the rain has passed by.
when you wake up you feel like you've had the best sleep in your life. but you're sure you would have frozen to death by now.
your hands feel the fabric between your fingers, previously taken over your shoulders. ah.
… as well as a pair of eyes staining into your existence.
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