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stormy-skyzzzzzz · 26 days

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the man the myth the legend

(he was gonna straight up shoot a guy)

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batbabydamian · 9 days

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Obsessed with little Lima Bean Baby Dami. I feel like Bruce would pass out from cuteness if he witnessed his child looking like that.

Talia should send Damian's baby pics to Bruce lol

#ask #damian wayne #bruce wayne #alfred pennyworth #dick grayson #babian #batbabyart #thank you for the ask!! it made me v happy to sprout another lima bean baby #Bruce and Alfred reactions are just how i look when i consume Damian media tbh #atm me every time i open The Boy Wonder 😭#The Boy Wonder 1 is out now btw!!#jic you too want to be affected by The Cuteness

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begaycommittreason · 2 months

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officer: are these your children sir?

damian, forcefully raided a petco to liberate the animals: hello father

jason, released said animals on unsuspecting tourists for fun: sup old man

bruce: …nope

officer: oh, then them?

steph duke and cass, covered in equal parts confetti, dirt, and blood, waving:

bruce: oh no, im not touching that one with a ten foot pole

officer: …so it has to be one of them?

alfred, got into an altercation with someone at home goods over the last crockpot: i have no regrets master bruce

tim, hacked the cia to put himself higher than jason on their wanted list and accidentally implicated himself in an unrelated crime: i’m more disappointed in myself, really

bruce: …i’ve never met these people before

assorted incarcerated batkids: *various outraged clamor*

officer: then who are you here to collect?

bruce, pointing to a different cell, sighing: that one’s mine

clark, was pulled over for following all the gotham road laws (incredibly suspicious behavior): hi bruce!!!

#dick bailed them out later #after taking pictures of them behind bars #batfamily #batfam #batman #bruce wayne #jason todd #tim drake #damian wayne #duke thomas #cassandra cain #stephanie brown #clark kent #alfred pennyworth

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galaxymagitech · 3 months

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Jason: Hey, Alfie! Which of us was the least crazy as a kid?

Bruce: Let’s face it. None of us were easy children. I dropped out of college and then dropped off the grid. Dick was a menace—

Jason: Nah, Dick’s the Golden Boy.

Bruce: He wanted to single-handedly hunt down a powerful criminal and thought the entire manor was a trapeze.

Dick: Well, Jason was like the perfect kid.

Bruce: He ran away, died, and started murdering people.

Jason: Fair. But the Replacement’s your perfect little soldier, isn’t he?

Bruce: He stalked me, he says incredibly concerning things with no idea how concerning he sounds, he started YOUNG JUSTICE, I—

Damian: Batgirl III is boring. Surely she was easy to deal with?

Bruce: Are you kidding me? She got pregnant and started a gang war!

Steph: Guilty as charged. But Duke’s the normal one, so—

Bruce: You started a gang war? Duke started a gang!

Damian: I’m the perfect heir.

Bruce: You’re an assassin who is currently attempting to turn my house into a zoo. And you keep trying to murder Tim.

Jason: Eh, we’ve all been there. Except Cass. Cass hasn’t tried to murder anyone.

Bruce: Cass tried to fight Lady Shiva to the death, despite refusing to kill. Cass is not well-adjusted either.

Cass: Barbara is good.

Bruce: No, she keeps hacking the Batcomputer. And she’s dating my son. Honestly I have no idea how I’m still sane.

Alfred: I’m afraid your sanity is very much in question, Master Bruce.

#batman #incorrect batman quotes #dc comics #dc #dcu #alfred pennyworth #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #duke thomas #damian wayne #barbara gordon #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect dc quotes #humor

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jesterraconteuse · 13 days

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You don't understand there's a part of me that wants Alfred Pennyworth to never age but there's another part that's like

As Alfred grows older his body grows tired and everyone notices. And for Bruce that's his surrogate father. For everyone else that's Grandpa. Immediately there's a secret boot camp in the Batcave for everyone to start learning how to better care for themselves. Selina Kyle assisting of course.

There's already disability accommodations for Barbara so they just need to tweak and add some stuff. They've learned from her needs and start researching on how to care for the elderly for Alfred specifically.

On paper he's still a butler but really everyone (who lives or stays for a long time in Wayne manor) makes sure they learn how to do the hardwork for themselves. Most of his job is just to be there for them honestly. They insist on doing things for themselves.

But Alfred is Alfred. So he knows what's going on. And he's so deeply proud of them. He doesn't let him do anything he insists he can or wants do himself. He's still his own person after all, and they gradually learn his boundaries and patterns.

Bruce keeps paying him but not in a way you'd pay a butler usually. More in a way where you'd send money to your retired parents.

Do you see my vision?

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hehether · 4 months

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KEEP UP WITH THE WAYNES

Damn, the never-ending tags plis send help

#batfam #bruce wayne #richard grayson #jason todd #tim drake #cassandra cain #damian wayne #duke thomas #barbara gordon #stephanie brown #alfred pennyworth

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spicy-apple-pie · 1 month

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Bruce has never woken up so fast in his entire life and he's been stabbed in his sleep before.

Commission Info / Kofi

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murdockbuckley · 5 months

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thinking about the batkids annoying each other and one of them just go "god i was an only child before bruce i miss it so much"

and then there's just a collective agreement and they're all staring at each other in silence after because somehow they forgot NONE of them had siblings before this

#batfamily #batkids #batfam #batman #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #cassandra cain #tim drake #duke thomas #damian wayne #alfred pennyworth

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incorrectbatfam · 2 months

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How small must the world be for both Bruce and Tim to witness John and Mary Grayson's deaths

Or for 10-year-old Duke to crack the Riddler's puzzle before Batman swoops in and saves the day, long before his powers came into play

Or for Sheila Haywood to leave her son only to end up assisting his killer a decade and a half later

Not to mention the popular fanon concept of Jason knowing baby Damian in the League of Assassins

Now imagine how many other invisible strings could've tied them together

Like what if Tim and Jason went to the same school when Jason was Robin but all they shared was the occasional bump and "excuse me" in the busy halls

Or what if Babs was a tutor and helped an elementary-aged Steph finally understand her homework only for the Browns to cancel after a couple sessions because they couldn't afford it

What if the first person to buy Cass a hot meal was Kate on one of her travels

What if Alfred witnessed young Selina shoplifting groceries but chose to turn a blind eye

What if Jason lived on the same streets as the Row siblings and gave little Harper tips on how to use tools and defend her brother

What if Steph and Duke shared the same school bus, only he sat in the front while she was toward the back

What if the first person to teach Tim how to tie his shoes was Bruce at a gala because Jack and Janet were busy talking to someone important

What if Bette did a DNA test for fun and found a connection in Nanda Parbat but just assumed the results was faulty because she knew her whole family, right?

What if 8-year-old Dick, the day before his parents died, stayed at a cheap hotel near Crime Alley and found 4-year-old Jason wandering alone and said, "I'll be your big brother for tonight"

What if the universe knew they were made for each other and wouldn't rest until they realized it too

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stormy-skyzzzzzz · 2 months

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ate and left no crumbs. I swear Alfred is the most iconic batfamily member.

#batfam #batfamily #bruce wayne #batman #red hood #jason todd #dick grayson #nightwing #tim drake #dc robin #damian wayne #damian al ghul #alfred pennyworth #the baddest bitch #comics #dc comics #dc universe #robin

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thisiswhereikeepdcthings · 8 months

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Alfred: Injury report?

26-year-old Bruce: All the blood is on the inside?

Alfred:

Some years down the road

Bruce: Injury report?

Tim: I left no DNA behind.

Cass: I can still beat the rest of you.

Jason: Haven’t died again.

Dick: No bones are visible from the outside.

Damian: I won.

Duke: I think I discovered a new power.

Steph: You’re not my dad.

Bruce:

Alfred: And how *is* Karma doing today, Master Bruce?

#batman #bruce wayne #alfred pennyworth #batfam #batkids #tim drake #dick grayson #jason todd #stephanie brown #damian wayne #cassandra cain #duke thomas #what do you mean dc doesn’t stand for disregard canon

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arunneronthird · 9 months

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pov you just tried to express an opinion in a wayne party. youre a super

#i think keeping the sunglasses for alfred was relevant to the narrative #the only person having fun is jason cause he craves chaos #oh god the tags #batman #bruce wayne #dick grayson #damian wayne #tim drake #duke thomas #cassandra cain #alfred pennyworth #jason todd #dc comics #my art #ladies. gentlemen. you have eaten well.

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reebmiester · 7 months

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For a commission, Alfred the Dadler

#batfam #bruce wayne #alfred pennyworth #batman #dick grayson #well it was supposed to be. but bruce's got a smartphone so damian i guess??#damian wayne #bat family #batfamily #dc comics #my art #robin

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trashmakerarticle · 7 months

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Everyone thinks that dick was the golden child when in reality it was Jason.

Clark: Bruce who was your favourite robin?

Dick: obviously it’s me?

Tim: it’s dick

Damian: I am superior robin, it will be me.

Bruce: it’s Jason

Everyone: WHAT?!?!???

Bruce: why are you so surprised? He didn’t jump on too my chandeliers which I had to replace each week

*everyone looks at dick*

Bruce: he didn’t drop out of school

*everyone looks at tim*

Bruce: I didn’t have to stop him from killing everyone who annoyed him

*everyone looks at Damian*

Bruce: in fact, he enjoyed school and handed all his homework in on time, we would spend hours in the library reading his favourite classics. He even helped Alfred with most of the cooking, He was my little boy

Jason: stop spreading lies, I hate you go away

Bruce: my precious little boy